"I can't breathe, it's a disease, It's a weakness. I'm staring at this bottle of pills like I need it" Dude... Anyone who has dealt with depression... That line hits hard.

No one wants to die, they just want the pain to stop. #RIPCHESTER

Thank you, Merkules, for honoring the memory of Chester Bennington. I'm 14 days away from 2 years clean and sober and I deal with anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression and PTSD every day. If anyone reading this is dealing with the same issues and needs to talk to somebody about it, please don't hesitate to ask for help.

This man is definitely singing all the shit I been through and going through now. He knows how bad depression is, so I'm very thankful for Merkules music. It hits home

Depression feels like you're not living, you're just existing

Merkules is more than a rapper, he is a next level lyricist. He doesn't just spit what will fit, he has something to say and says it.

this got to be the illest remix of this song ever! Merk you da man dawg! 2024.

What an amazing rendition. What a way to pay respect to the late-great Chester Bennington.

It's been a long time since I listen to this beat.. brings back memories. Where's my 80's-90's babies?

From a Linkin Park fan and someone who has suffered from depression and anxiety... Thank You It's people like you that help people like us because no one else gets us because they have no idea what it's like to fight with themselves

I struggle everyday with depression and suicidal thoughts. Merkules and a few others with songs like this help me to make it one more day.

Still get goosebumps every time I hear this remix. He nailed it. Thank you merkules for releasing all this relatable music. It helps so many of us cope.

People saying he needs to be signed .... we wouldn't hear this raw talent if he was signed... he would be forced to pump out mainstream chart music insted of these amazing lyrical masterpieces ... People just need to share merks music on every platform possible so everyone can bare witness to this song writing genius 🔥🔥

Being diagnosed with bipolar, panic/anxiety disorder ocd and ADHD this song basically tells the story of anyone's life who deals with mental illness and addiction, Merk I give mad respect for this shit this song is killer

This...hit home harder than I thought it would.

I wish this was available on Spotify. This remix hits deep.

This is so good. Anyone else just finding this?

Now "In the end" your body is "Numb" but you have "No more sorrow". "Breaking the Habit" was difficult for you but you were always "One step closer". Your voice will be always "Crawling" on me "From the Inside" till the day I "Bleed it Out" and "Faint"

LYRICS: I find it hard for me to follow my dreams 'cause I get caught up in the drama 'till it's harder to breathe I'm starin' right at my reflection and it's not even me I got these voices in my head and I can't silence their screams Just hauntin' my dreams I wonder if it's only myself But as I take a look around I see nobody else Can't talk about it to my homies 'cause my homies won't help They'll act like they give a fuck but they don't know how it felt So I just keep actin' like it's all okay, this bottled pain has got me feelin' hollow again Everyday I wake up and it's just makin' me stressed I take a deep breath, it's not me, maybe it's them I don't wanna crack a smile, so I'm crackin' a bottle Look past for the sorrow, I know won't be happy tomorrow That's fine, all that really matter to me is right now So if you're lookin' for me I'm at home with the lights out I'm still findin' ways for me to deal with the pain It makes me wonder if they care if they don't see me again Nobody wants to hear about so I keep it contained It takes a lot of late nights for me to see through the rain Because I'm not myself, I'm not myself, I'm not myself, anymore I'm not myself, I'm not myself, I'm not myself, anymore Back in school I was one of the cool kids Now I'm the quiet type and I'm ready to lose it I'm sick of hopin' for better, man, it's only excuses When did it start happenin'? I never would choose this We all human and we all feel emotion but mine are stronger than others and so it's harder to cope with, it's causin' commotion This weed got me coughing and choking, I'm on this boat all alone and I ain't got shit to row with I'm lost in the moment, I'm trynna find a way to explain it I'm waiting so patient, these hangovers makin' me crazy I'm havin' dreams of me doin' things that I'd never do Am I in Hell cause this ain't Heaven can't I find out the truth? There's a part of my brain that I wish I could remove If you were me you'd probably lie to you too I over think then over drink when I ain't got shit to do I'm sprawled out across the coach and I'm not gonna move Because I'm not myself, I'm not myself, I'm not myself, anymore I'm not myself, I'm not myself, I'm not myself, anymore Anymore Everyday there's new pain inflicted, and when I'm drunk I'm convinced one day you'll get it But you don't, so in the morning I deal with the disappointment Another day, another search for enjoyment It's annoying but I made this bed for me to sleep in I see everybody else on the shore when I'm in the deep end I can't breathe, it's a disease, it's a weakness I'm starin' at this bottle full of pills like "I need this" I'm not myself, I'm not myself, I'm not myself, anymore I'm not myself, I'm not myself, I'm not myself, anymore Anymore...

This song saved me and got me thru some dark times... Felt alone.. Hears this song.. Gave me hope knowing that I'm not alone that its not just me... That someone else can relate...

So I found this song after I had popped some pills and drank till I was numb after my wife left with the kids. I had planned on pulling the trigger but this song literally brought me back. I owe my life to the line "I'm staring at this bottle of pills like I need this" . Thank you merk

“Nobody wants to hear so I keep it contained” that hits close to home

Thank you Mercules, this just got sent to me. It's like you can see inside my head. To everyone who struggles, keep fighting! Life IS worth it! ❤ RIP Chester ❤

I gotta say man, I'm no rap expert or a super fan I'm just a 50 yr metal head, and this mix hit me hard, to say i relate wouldn't be enough, it's beyond relate to it and edging on identify to it, so much so when you spoke of dreaming of doing things you would never do I almost got sick it tore into me that deep, after 10 years filled with nightmares even my psychologist couldn't grasp or put a name to other then to call it complicated nightmare disorder I felt like you knew something they don't and I couldn't ever manage to explain or properly convey to anybody and never believed anybody else ever could because it had to just be me ... I caught this song brothrler at a time that this thing in my life was becoming to big for me to carry... and then suddenly I wasn't carrying It, after 10 years it was still there and still is but it doesn't tax me and ride on my back like it did, it doesn't weigh on me it just follows me.... and that really sucks, but I can do it, I haven't got a choice but to do it but I need you to hear this, its because of you that it's survivable right now and your remix that I listen to again to lighten everything I'm bearing the weight of when I get tired, it's a remix of a song that you gave such reality to that I didn't fall that day, because of it wasn't that day I don't believe I would have made the rest of the week.... you'll probably never see or read this, but I'm pretty sure your so g had a big part to do with saving me, it's not the first time I've been there and probably not the last .. but at that time in my fight and on that occasion you made a fan of man that only planned to be an obituary. I share with others like me now, hoping to do the same for just one other person, someone that just needs not to be the only fucking one to be dealing with whatever it is there alone in, inherent always been a good person but I can atleast look at myself in the mirror and know who it is I'm looking at again and Know from the reflection that I can see and I can believe myself that I'm trying to be a good guy .. thank you for that, I've found alot of help in music these past few years thank to it all....CHEERS !

I know I'm late but, MERK, Chester would be proud

From one legend for another

This song helped me through the worst time of my life. It still rings true to this day thank you for putting this together as fast and properly as you did it means the world to me and I share it with everyone. Putting the suicide hotline number on the end means the most to me and you have probably saved lives. I kicked fetty to this song thank you.!!

I can relate to this song wayyy too much. God bless anyone who's battling depression, anxiety, ptsd, or all of the above. I have been having trouble putting the bottle down, and Merk has helped me keep my sanity. I've been drinking less everyday and soon will be free of alcohol. God bless you all

Thank you for this, it's beautiful. I've suffered from depression and social anxiety since I was a kid, LP and Korn got me through a lot, I cried when I heard of Chester's suicide. I've felt that suicidal feeling before, it's an awful spot to be in, and I ache at the fact that Chester's voice and music helped so many of us kids take a breather from our depression and our bad spots in life and try to cope/heal, yet no one could do that for him. I wish we the fans could have done for him what he did for so many of us.....

Merk. I'm a metalhead and this was texted to me. I just wanna say that I'm deeply touched that you put the suicide prevention hotline on the screen for the last 30 seconds. We've lost too many! It means a lot that you did a tribute to Chester Bennington. I was basically raised on Linkin park and Kraft Dinner. Thank you. R.I.P Chester Bennington, you will be missed!

Chester was and still is one of my fav artists to ever live, this song made my day man, thanks a lot!

And THIS is my favorite remix you have done. I would do anything to hear you do this live. What an amazing job honering this song and Chester, he would love this man. You should be proud, deeply. 🙏

Merk you are so fucking unreal. So much respect for you. RIP Chester Linkin Park was my childhood sound.

That made me cry, I actually could relate to that. Dude, this is one of the best tributes I've heard so far! 😭😢😭😢

Thanks Merk. Your music has helped me through so many dark days and this song really hit home for me as I have been battling depression and anxiety for the past few years. It’s really hard having to explain to others how this shit affects even the most simple day to day things for someone who suffers with this. Some days It’s hard to even get out of bed and just exist but you’ve been such a great voice for mental illness awareness. Chester would be proud of this version. I’ve got nothing but mad respect for you.

Dude this is an amazing tribute to chester. He would be so proud of this!!

This shit is 🔥🔥🔥 R.I.P Chester

That fuckin hook is goosebump worthy

Wow.... That was one of the toughest remixes I've ever and I mean ever, heard. Holy shit you did the damned thing merkules. Much love and respect and props. Rest in peace chester. May your soul find peace and happiness. That spoke deeply to me. Also rest in peace david seating. Whom that reminded me of so much. Love you brother and miss you.

Man this song still hits just as hard as it did when I first heard it. Chester got through to so many people and now you doin the same. Keep grindin Merk \w/

dude merk. that is what i needed. thank you. ur not alone. . we need to make a stompdown tour in the states happen. sdk ninja

Just started listening to merkules today and I'm hooked

R.I.P Chester, this year marks 5 years since you have been gone

Every single lyric hits hard for depression sufferers, pretty much rounds off depression as a whole... big eye opener for others who don't quite understand, but this song litterally puts it into words... much love 🙏

Big respect from UK 👊

I think this is such an awesome tribute.So sad about Chester.💔 Ignore the asshole comments. My friend met you this weekend and she was so thrilled... keep doing what you do!

this remix is so fucking good, relatable and pure. Merkules is a true blessing for those who are struggling with things which make them depressed or suicidal. Music like this helps me against drowning in my darkest moments. So thank you, Merk. And for anyone reading this feeling like me, keep your head up. Even though I dont know you, I dont want to lose you. Better days will show up is what we need to believe although I dont feel like that rn.

Still rocking this in my depressed stage. Helps me everyday.

Linkin Park should meet up with you to play this live, in memory

BRILLIANT CHESTER WOULD BE PROUD

OMG, absolutely amazing. I totally understand your pain I’ve been there. I suffer from PTSD I was overseas from ‘04 to ‘07 and it still hunts me to this day. Thank you for putting your feelings and heart out there I find that extremely hard to do somI keep it inside. I self medicated for years. I’m now 5 year clean from H putting down the needle was one of the hardest and BEST things I’ve ever done. God Bless everyone who suffers from these issues.

I've been listening to this everyday for a little over a year now. Ever since my dad died and this keeps me moving forward even though I feel like everything that made me me is gone

amazing tribute respect for this he'll truly be missed by so many, but his voice, lyrics & music will live on, forever. R.I.P Chester

Merkules and iamtherealak have become my favorite rappers! RIP Chester! Keep em coming Merk....

This is the song that got me into your music bro I felt every word of this song and still do even today

When I first found your music I didn't understand it but 9 year in & I'm starting to understand the lyrics more because I've came to realise that my mental health illnesses aren't leaving my mind or body soon & at first that was the hardest pill for me to swallow it cut deep so deep I ended binge drinking to cope with my illness but when I'm in my bedroom doing what I love doing which is helping others deal with their demons through making music about depression suicide & this fucking mental health disorder your a proper inspiration to me & the music I make & it gives me goosebumps coz everything you rap about is literally what most of the world feels or going through keep up the good work

Respect💯

How is this guy not signed??? I don’t get it, he’s not just trying to rhyme he’s speaking gut wrenching reality!!! Cmon who agrees with me here, please??

Merk, your music changes lives and makes a direct impact on mine. You say what others might be too afraid to say, being the one that’s always counted out and yet you still succeed. Your the best!

this guy is one the sickest rappers lyrically ive ever heard. makes every remix sound dope

"I don't want to crack a smile, I want to crack a bottle" Holy shit.

One word #Awesome

Still listening to this all the time. Thanks Merk!

Merk is such a a solid dude. Committed and persistent to the max. His flow is impeccable and he is a true lyricist. I love all your music bro and you have no idea what it means to me to make a cover like this for another great artist. We all miss Chester and I know he would love this remix. Stay up bro!

love that remix RIP Chester

Dont ever change man. Stay real.

This definitely came to me in a time of need in my life! It was also the first I heard of you! Love all your music! Keep on rocking!

I don't believe , just found this Now!!! Amazing man , Good job RIP chester 🙏🙏❤

this was needed thanks merk. R.I.P CHESTER.

I find it hard for me to follow my dreams 'cause I get caught up in the drama 'till it's harder to breathe I'm starin' right at my reflection and it's not even me I got these voices in my head and I can't silence their screams It's hauntin' my dreams I wonder if it's only myself But as I take a look around I see nobody else Can't talk about it to my homies 'cause my homies won't help They act like they give a fuck but they don't know how it felt So I just keep actin' like it's all okay, this bottled up pain got me feelin' hallow again Everyday I wake up and it's just makin' me stressed I take a deep breath, it's not me, maybe it's them I don't wanna crack a smile, so I'm crackin' a bottle A past full of sorrow, I know won't be happy tomorrow That's fine, all that really matter to me is right now So if you're lookin' for me I'm at home with the lights out I'm still findin' ways for me to deal with the pain It makes me wonder do they care if they won't see me again Nobody wants to hear about it so I keep it contained It takes a lot of late nights for me to see through the rain Because.. [Hook] I'm not myself, I'm not myself I'm not myself, anymore.. I'm not myself, I'm not myself I'm not myself, anymore.. Verse 2] Back in school I was one of the cool kids but now I'm the quiet type and I'm ready to lose it I'm sick of hopin' for better, man, it's only excuses Wanna to start happening it I never would choose this We all human and we all feel emotion but mine are stronger than others and so it's harder to cope with, it's causin' commotion This weed got me coughing and choking, I'm on this boat all alone and I ain't got shit to row with I'm lost in the moment, I'm trynna find a way to explain I'm waiting so patient, these hangovers makin' me crazy I'm havin' dreams of me doin' things that I'd never do Am I in Hell cause this ain't Heaven can't I find out the truth? This is part of my brain that I wish I could remove If you were me you'd probably lie to you too I over think then over drink when I ain't got shit to do I'm sprawled out across the coach and I'm not gonna move Because.. [Hook 2] I'm not myself, I'm not myself I'm not myself, anymore.. I'm not myself, I'm not myself I'm not myself, anymore.. Anymore... [Verse 3] Everyday there's new pain inflicted, and when I'm drunk I'm convinced one day you'll get it But you don't, so in the morning I deal with a disappointment Another day, another search for enjoyment and it's annoying But I made this bed for me to sleep and I see everybody else on the shore when I'm in the deep end I can't breathe, it's a disease, it's a weakness I'm starin' at this bottle full of pills like I need it. Hook 3] I'm not myself, I'm not myself I'm not myself, anymore.. I'm not myself, I'm not myself I'm not myself, anymore.. Anymore... Anymore... Anymore... Anymore... Anymore... Anymore... Anymore...

You are underrate just keep pushing bro much love from Dallas tx when you have a show here

This day broke my heart what was left of it Chester stopped my wrists from bleeding thank you for this u saved my life remember waking up to this song and realizing what happened half way threw ure song I might have lookin myself if it wasnt 4 you thank you ....

A few mouths ago I was depressed and just getting sober from coke, molly n booze n starting on medication for my mental health. I was lost in my life and was very close to suicide. I was sick of the constant struggle i was dealing with for years n im only 19 i lost almost everything i love with out the help of my family and ur music i would have never made it thanks

This is really dope

This resonates so much with me right at this moment in time

My dude, you sum up depression so well, and at the same time your message is to never let it own you. Thanks for giving me the will to fight back. I Love you for it bro.

I'm 14 months clean of that devil in a bag ," Methamphetamine ". Stay strong and find someone you can totally trust and who can relate to to talk and hang out with who is clean n sober. Screw everything and everyone else who talking smack. If they can't relate they opinions and words r irrelevant. God bless you

When I was younger, I would listen to Chester sing and think, “He understands.” I looked at the lyrics to his songs and it felt like I wrote them. I haven’t felt that way listening to anything else for a long time, but after hearing your remix, I suddenly felt like I did when I was child... I mean this so sincerely- bless you, sir.

Beautiful tribute.. I can relate to this so much

fuck man...I've listened to this on repeat for the past hour.. its like you've put my thoughts into verse.. hell of a talent

From an addict in recovery thankyou. You can beat the beast my friend,if I can do it,anyone can do it brother. I couldn't imagine going through a day without using something. I would sit and think how the hell am I ever gonna get through a day without altering my feelings. Just lost my little sister to an overdose too. Lost 8 close friends to heroin. Where I live it is an epidemic. I'm in Greenfield Massachusetts. My life is so depressing but I concisely make an effort to try and be happy ,but as you know it's a daily struggle. Sometimes I just want to give up but at the same time I'm scared of death. I miss my little sis. If you EVER need an ear merk I'm here brother, I hope all goes well for you and you find some peace of mind. 🙏🙏🤝🤝💯👍♥️

Can't begin to tell you how much this remix got me through a really difficult part of my life. Not sure I would be here if this song wasn't there. Thank you...

word for word i can relate.. luv this dude

Amazing, man! I've suffered from anxiety myself too, and it is such a weird state of mind to be in. You know something is wrong, you know what you think is stupid and shouldn't be that way, but still you can't control it. Stay strong man, you'll get through it!

Killed it Merc, RIP Chester

I come back to this song a lot. Merk my man, the lyrics in this hit me hard. I resonate with music a lot, so when I heard this, it was like someone put a real voice to the shit I deal with every day. I appreciate this more than I can put into words. Thank you

One of my favorite songs growing up for as long as i can remember the to see someone just remix like that with so much heart and truth shows me people feel the same way its not just me its not just a song someone made

Bro for real. I've got no clue how I stumbled upon this. I've been looking for years to find something like this. My guitar and your voice could definitely do something epic! Nice tribute. The pain of his loss is felt brother!

Dude you absolutely destroyed this holy shit.. mad props

2021 and still balling through the shit big up merkules

Thank you merk for the relatable tracks. Any day im stuck in the fog this helps me out

This was the first song I ever heard from Merk, and I've been hooked ever since.. The man spits truth and flames

Rest In Peace Chester my dude thanks for some amazing years. Thank you merk for this fire and relatable tribute

This guy is true inspiration thank you. You got me threw a lot of stuff Cheers thank you from Ontario.

Just wanna smash the subscribe button over and over. This man. No words .

Dude that was sick that was the best damn freestyle I've ever heard in my life. rip Chester Bennington gone but not forgotten

Been a hermit since childhood. Anxiety attacks when any attention came my way. Blamed introversion.. Can’t socialize with people that love me. Got worse as an adult. Always felt like I can be someone and have a lot to give but couldn’t break that shell.. felt ashamed but didn’t have a reason.. a proud U.S Marine, replaced my feelings with anger.. too proud to seek medical attention. Drowned pain in alcohol and women. After years of silence, Finally saw a doc. Diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety. Taking medication for 2 months now.. see and feel so much better than I can remember in life. Never to late to catch your breath. Stop running from yourself.

daily i get thoughts that dont seem to be my own, but i put merkules on, he helps pull me through these thoughts, dont stop what your doing bruv, you have saved hundreds if not thousands of peoples lives

Man, you nailed it!!! ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!!!

Hearing about Chester really hurt. This is beautiful.