This was an amazing topic. It really forces us to look at our lives and life choices. It goes beyond just the clothes. It's about who we are deep down inside. This problem you brought up also creates problems with our shopping and buying habits, when we keep buying clothes that we don't end up wearing because they don't fit our lifestyle. How many of us have closets full of clothes that we've never even worn once? Me! I just purchased a book from 1967 by the old Hollywood costume designer Edith Head, who won many Oscars in her day. The book is titled How To Dress For Success and she gives her tips and knowledge on how to dress well as individuals, not just for celebrities. Edith says that this is called 'wish-fulfillment buying' where we are constantly buying clothes for the life we 'wish' we had and not the one we actually do have. This creates a wardrobe where we 'have nothing to wear' and when we do go to a certain event or situation, we will dress 'out-of-place' not to mention all of the money we end up wasting by buying clothes for the life we 'wish' we had but don't. We just keep shopping, shopping, shopping, hoping that it will 'fulfill us' but it doesn't because it's the lifestyle that is not matching the clothes; and the clothes not matching the lifestyle. Excellent video, Merriam!

This explains why I often feel like I have no clothes to wear. My life is pretty casual right now but my closet consists of corporate clothes

This is probably why I liked working in the hospital wearing scrubs, because if I can't wear what I want and feel like myself, then I'd rather just wear a basic uniform where all employees look the same. Wearing clothes that don't feel like me definitely negatively impacted my work life experiences, either because I felt fake, or because corporate wear felt uncomfortable for my body/soul! In my current position, I wear my goth-boho style, and I feel more confidence and perform better on the job. People seem to respond to me better, whereas in the past I always felt off-like people weren't sure if they liked me or not.

This synchronized perfectly with Gabrielle Arruda new video about romanticizing your style

Instant like for "I don't want anything to do with a white T-shirt" 😂❤ Me neither. It's getting so old that EVERY piece of wardrobe basics content includes a white T-shirt.

You're the only one I've seen who goes deep like this into personal style and it has really helped me a lot

Merriam - years later, after discovering your channel, I'm still in love with your delivery. ❤

I completely agree. I think that my authentic style is both intimidating and doesn't fit my life. For example, I love heels. I think they're so pretty. But I have weak ankles, I'm clumsy, and I work with kids. So heels are a no go for me 😢

I also immediately thought of a baseball game when you asked us to think of something we'd never go to lmao

Hey Merriam! This is really interesting. I am about to receive my bachelors in accounting and go into a masters in accounting, but I think deep down I’m more of a safari/fishing/adventurer/history type girl. You’ve given me a lot to think about. Thanks for all you do

you are so sensitive and insightful. thank you for continuing to share with us ❤

This is so interesting! I have recently had a similar revelation. For me, I think I've been kind of editing myself over the years to be more of what I thought would be acceptable, or what would make life easier, rather than be true to myself. It's a hard pill to swallow. I have tried to be kind to myself because I also now see that I was in a survival mode for most of my life, and I didn't feel safe being myself. I realize that by showing up as my authentic self now, my worse "fears" will come true and I will begin to shed all the people and things in my life that don't resonate with me, the true me. The difference is that now I see that as a good thing, and I'm now ready for it.

This spoke to me on so many levels. I’ve lived all over and when you feel out of place the clothes really highlight it. Eg I was a Super DC Corporate Prep that moved to a small New England town, and I always joke that it felt like a hallmark movie in terms of fashion (tho I was married). I’ve realized I am multidimensional and there are other aspects that I can lean into. Eg I love hiking and camping, so adding some well-made LL Bean sweaters felt authentic to me too. Just takes time to dial in the balance, but it’s important to dial in and not “cosplay.” Although if there is a secret formula to do this without having to buy new clothes every few years when the military moves us, that sure would be a great hack. As much as I would have loved to just wear the prep clothes in NH, it wasn’t my style to stand out either, nor were the clothes always practical for warmth. Maybe it’s in the styling? Idk.

Went in for style advice and came out with a free therapy session. Great video.

This is pure genius! Excellent insight for us! Much appreciated

A great topic, this is not often discussed in the context of style and body types, but super important!

Great video, as usual! Could you bring your mic closer? I feel like it’s picking up a lot of ambient noise and your voice is far away.

...yes! Thank you Merriam ❤ I am so joyful for all these videos recently 😊

We want a book of course 😊 Although your videos are also super interesting. I am a romantic but I love classic style, so I'm always interested in ways to incorporate that. P.S. Like you've said-50s fashion that has the most romantic lines isn't that suitable nowadays. So I dress mostly soft classic, with romantic details: light colours, sparkle of glitter in eyes inner corners, dainty jewellery, dewy foundation, waist emphasis. And I still get to wear classis pieces, just I make them as yin as I can 😂 That way I feel mostly like myself. Because when I wear all Merilyn style it isn't 100% my vibe and the other really big thing is- it's not suitable for every occasion. I am feminine but I think I have a strong classic essence. So when I wear classic neckline on a dress I feel like I can go anywhere in that and I literally do go anywhere in it. It's versatile and I feel pretty.

Oh god this hits home. Most of my clothes are still from the time where I grew up in a rather conservative village and my closet is filled with cardigans and blouses and my god I hate those so much 😭 theyre great to fit in that community, but now that i want to move into a bigger city and live more authentically, I feel like I cant bring any of those clothes, I could literally shop for a whole new wardrobe, but I dont have a lot of money right now 🙈

Merriam, you have such a unique understanding of the world and such a helpful (and often funny) way of expressing it. Keep doing you… or, in other words, living an authentic life!

It is definitely insightful, nuanced & eye-opening.

Yay!!! I loved this! I have a wardrobe with lots of dresses (english style) or cottage core vibes and yes I'd love to one day be married and be a home maker lol! I also love this feeling of "lady like" (I'm aussie)

Honestly wondering, why do you hate being outside? I love your authentic humor😂

I’m interested in a workbook. It was also interesting when you mentioned that someone with a natural body type might have a more earthy personality!

Very insightful! I think we've all found ourselves in this position at times.

So helpful!! Thank you so much!

This is very interesting, style our life based on what we like to wear. That is something to consider, thank you!

Brilliant 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻. That was really inspirational. Thank you Miriam

Dive deeper in the future please ❤

This was very insightful, thank you!

Very insightful Merriam 😍🙏💖 I got some good ideas 🙆

Just imagine how awesome and unique people would dress if society was more accepting of the diversity in people 😔 trends would have less of a hold on us and it would be a lot more sustainable

Excellent content!

What you are saying is so important. I wish I could have had that advice when I was younger. This video is worth visiting several times.

Excellent video ✨✨

Amazing topic

Wow, this video is so much deeper than I expected. I bought a bunch of clothes while working in corporate and always felt like I was dressing up and looked more like my mom, than myself! And after about 4 years I got pretty used to it… but I always felt like my hair never looked cohesive with the rest of the look. I just couldn’t bring myself to cut off my long waves or style it in a way that matched the clothes. I tried straightening and or curling my hair and felt so out of place and distracting. Two months after leaving corporate, I haven’t worn those clothes and have not once felt that my hair doesn’t fit “my style”. Because that wasn’t authentically me.

Yes- I’m for the pre- style sets for your body type. I am soft natural beveled with long lines and ethereal. I work in a casual athleisure environment and o can’t find ways to make athleisure ( ethereal looking) for me to feel authentic- everything tends to be stiff and tight or shorter lines.

Love this

I love Merriam’s analyses, she’s truly one of the best and can deconstruct all these interesting concepts around style. Also I know everyone’s griping about sound quality but it’s giving ASMR 😂

You're so right I work at a mine and I really love wearing makeup but the money is good so I do it When I'm off it's the best I can wear anything I want

This is very interesting. I remembered the time when I moved country and has to start from zero in order to get in the industry(supporting in science/industrial field) I hate all my clothes. Constantly changing and never happy. Now have found the company that fits my character(still in science&industrial), then I have opportunity to learn more about kibbe, colour and essence. Now I can wear clothes (or part of accessories) I want (appropriately) and Im happy! I'm being more confident that ever.

Very insightful!! I have another question, what if someone's lifestyle and clothing choices are aligned but the lines that suit them is not. Say they are kibbe romantic and like tailored stuff

I have always struggled with this. I like to dress more formally but I’m also an athlete, rebellious at heart and I’ve been a SAHM for 27 years. So many contradictions. Now I’m a health coach doing public speaking and starting a KZfaq channel so I guess that solves that problem! When I’m not dressed for success, I’m dressed for hiking or movement.

Hey, love your videos, it has changed my life.. I am in the fashion industry. Want to start a pregnancy line. If possible to make a video on what styles work for different body types when pregnant, would be very useful Especially sharpened soft (what i am) also maybe start doing courses for people like me who would love to help people in this line of work... because your colour theory is the best i have ever seen.❤

I am curious about understanding the “essence”. I know my color palette & Kibbe typing. What are the types of essences?

Really like your thoughts but the audio is quiet and the ads are sooo loud the sudden change to the ads startled me lol

Where can we send our photos for you to publish in your video?❤

I really like you.

Everyone should feel good in there skin and clothing. I believe we analyze or make to much of certian things. Just let it be.

The audio is quite bad. You don't use the Blue Yeti?

is the mic even on or just for the show?? I can't hear you ma'am 😭😭 the volume is so low almost like whisper. I have turned to the maximum volume, but it's still hard to hear anything so I put the cc on

🙏🙏🙏

Damn

Very introspective

I am beyond confused, in all your videos you mentioned you don't go with the energy/personality matching the body or lines of the body. Yet here this entire video is about the body matching the energy matching the life choices. Also i wanted to ask about the names of your IDs, what are they I only know 'rounded mixed' which is TR equivalent but it is confusing because mixed is gamine shouldn't TR be rounded sharp?

First to watch yayy!

I thought I had the same skin color as Merriam, now I see she is wearing beige and I'm so confused...

Find your videos very interesting but the audio quality makes it hard to enjoy. Maybe bring the mic closer because you are hard to hear and the room you are in echoes.

The volume of the voice is so low, I can hardly get the content.

The sound quality is terrible couldn't watch more than 3 minutes 😢

Bring the mic closer, there’s feedback and background noise that distracts from what you’re saying.

We in Rome, do as the Romans do...😊

Another video with extremely low sound. I have to take the volume up as high as it goes on my laptop to hear. I love your videos but it's a pain to hear them sometimes. There's a lot of background noise in this one also.

makes so much sense.