Michael Cohen Testifies in Trump Trial, Trump's Matching Allies: Late Night's News of the Week

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All the news and jokes you missed from the week of May 13.
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Michael Cohen Testifies in Trump Trial, Trump's Matching Allies: Late Night's News of the Week
• Michael Cohen Testifie...
Late Night with Seth Meyers
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Пікірлер: 236

@alphabrainwave 28 күн бұрын

Correction: The Chinese zoo wasn't painting dogs; they were dyeing dogs. Not to be confused with dying dogs, which can be found at Kristi Noem's farm.

@anitatimmons9525 28 күн бұрын

Seth , Hey You & Stephen /Jimmy /Jon & John should all dress up in matching suits & go to the court house next week . THAT WOULD BE EPIC & BEYOND HILARIOUS ..... LMAO

@beckydavis1820 28 күн бұрын

Agree!!

@marshamariner7897 28 күн бұрын

They should try and have half of u in the courtroom and the other half outside....then switch after lunch😅😂😅😂😅😂😅😂🤮🤢🤬🍄🧠

@mammawlee 24 күн бұрын

Dress up like women, but you know, good looking women, wearing colors flattering to your coloring.

@RobVespa 28 күн бұрын

"He looks like a ghost that haunts other ghosts."

@travisgessler6283 28 күн бұрын

He was so proud of himself for that concussion joke

@teamvlcn6820 28 күн бұрын

Rightly so.

@Bystander333 28 күн бұрын

Those Kristi Noem gags get me every time.

@bold810 28 күн бұрын

Seth, you should tell Lindsey's MeeMaw stories about America, with the Sea-Captain, in the Covid-Attic. Miss them times.

@angelsindolly 28 күн бұрын

"The four treasons"😂😂

@basvleeskruyer 28 күн бұрын

Great monologue Seth!

@dm-heart 28 күн бұрын

11:04 emotional support turkey that I got for my half birthday.🎉 well done. Kudos.👍

@aandrus2169 28 күн бұрын

"Lost and found bin" 😂😂😂

@franklinmarkram8284 28 күн бұрын

“Deck Stain” 🤣

@margueritemccann8580 28 күн бұрын

Lots of favorites today, but this one was my most favorite favorite!!! MM

@InksplatOops 28 күн бұрын

The panda dogs are seriously adorable

@ray.shoesmith 28 күн бұрын

The Four Treasons

@jodyjm13 28 күн бұрын

The Celebrity Jeopardy line was the best joke of the week, I don't care what anyone else says.

@seantlewis376 28 күн бұрын

The Star Wars Oreo joke was the best of the week.

@dm-heart 28 күн бұрын

emotional support turkey that I got for my half birthday.🎉

@oldauntzibby4395 21 күн бұрын

The Star Wars joke was more subtle and requires some knowledge of the franchise history, whereas the turkey is not the joke you're looking for.

@dm-heart 20 күн бұрын

@@oldauntzibby4395 AND… 1/2 birthday 🎉

@TolyTheTolerBear 28 күн бұрын

The Four Treasons 😅😂🤣

@trey3905 28 күн бұрын

i'm disappointed we didn't get an impression of mike pence haunting other ghosts. seth's pence voice is hilarious. / that star wars joke is so good because it's so true.

@TheRealcdawg22 28 күн бұрын

"The average American has 5 reusable shopping bags." Why am I the only one at the checkout that is using them?

@Y2B123 28 күн бұрын

More like the average American says they have 5 reusable shopping bags when asked.

@whimsysmith2835 28 күн бұрын

Well I have about 30, so that’s five people without any just to average people like me out…

@sidoniegabrielle269 27 күн бұрын

in my family's case, my mom left them at the house by accident and then i borrowed them to bring food and shoes to a housesitting job

@TheRealcdawg22 27 күн бұрын

@@sidoniegabrielle269 The reusable bags can be used for just about anything. I use them for library/book bags too. The point is to cut down unnecessary waste like plastic bags.

@mammawlee 24 күн бұрын

We forget them!

@frogdogink4415 28 күн бұрын

Seth, your still the best! ✨️

@teamvlcn6820 28 күн бұрын

"MUI" is genies, and I will die on that hill.

@derkeheath5172 28 күн бұрын

I honestly believe Trump thought that Hannibal Lecter was the hero of "Silence of the Lambs".

@marshamariner7897 28 күн бұрын

2 that lying pig Hannibal IS THE HERO🤮🤢🤬🍄🧠

@mikehennessy6766 28 күн бұрын

he kind of was. without him Clarice wouldnt find buffalo bill

@marcopaulo5052 28 күн бұрын

@@mikehennessy6766 So that’s one tuck and one no-tuck.

@joachimschoder 28 күн бұрын

@@mikehennessy6766 If I remember correctly Hannibal Lecter murdered more innocent people in the movie than Buffalo Bill. That would be a really weird hero. And yes, I consider the faceless security card to be innocent.

@JDrevolver66 28 күн бұрын

The FBI is always the bad guy for him…

@cindygentry6821 28 күн бұрын

Loved your jokes zeth keep rockin😊

@quesadilla79 29 күн бұрын

looove the Kristi Noem jokes

@YeOldeSpellbooke 28 күн бұрын

@quesadilla79 Indeed! And also that your comment had the "Translate to English" add on. But when i clicked it, it did nothing 🤣 Guess YT got confused by "looove the Kristi Noem jokes" and thought it needed translation. Have a great day quesadilla79 :)

@radicalross7700 28 күн бұрын

@@YeOldeSpellbookeWhat do you mean it did nothing? It translated English to English, didn't it? 😂

@dougofthewoodsdouglasb5505 28 күн бұрын

Me too! Kristi is cra cra! Noem sayin?

@christopher8136 29 күн бұрын

Dog in witness protection from christi nome

@bold810 28 күн бұрын

Kristy Nope.

@teshlafreeman4040 28 күн бұрын

Chow dogs painted like pandas lol

@IJayAmLegend 27 күн бұрын

*_"The Four Treasons"_* ...delightful. Subscribed, twice. Waxing, and not impiracle-y

@amelliamendel2227 28 күн бұрын

With the Hannibal lecter thing, I'm just very curious did Trump not really know who Hannibal lecter is or whom's name did he mean and mess up?

@madeleineprice9645 14 күн бұрын

@amelia - I try so hard not to be a grammar nazi but “whom’s”REALLY????

@amelliamendel2227 14 күн бұрын

@@madeleineprice9645 No, whom's name is correct as he could of been referring to an organization of more than one person, nobody knows what he meant, lol

@Cancun771 28 күн бұрын

The worst thing about the Star Wars Oreos is the guy that keeps breaking into your home to add mustard and energy drinks and hot sauce and such to the first three ones.

@xy6845 26 күн бұрын

He's clearly fallen to the dark side if that's what he favors on them.

@MS-we9lj 27 күн бұрын

"The Four Treasons" and "Magapella" lol

@anro7137 28 күн бұрын

I thought the “sidewalk sale” was a funny description but you surpassed it with the “lost and found bin”!

@merrygangemi 28 күн бұрын

Nailed it on Gaetz!!

@NeilCrouse99 28 күн бұрын

10:02, ... Matt Gates has always reminded me of "Quagmire", except Quagmire was an intelligent aircraft pilot. And Gates is ... well ... Not.

@ronaldmello1831 28 күн бұрын

His V.P. choices are between Hannibal Lechter and some guy out of Metropolis named Lex Luthor.

@wailinburnin 28 күн бұрын

Really good writing, Daily Show and Colbert teams also miking this era inspiring for comedy in a time of insanity.

@xy6845 26 күн бұрын

Plus Kimmel. The Avengers of Late Night! 🦸🦸‍♀🦸‍♂

@TerrenceBoudreau-bf7cq 28 күн бұрын

Boevert can show up for Trumps trial but not her sons😂

@Fronkensteinen 26 күн бұрын

That keeps her from doing damage in DC.

@halwakka504 28 күн бұрын

Could someone explain the Ireland/Amazon bit? It went over my head.

@Lycius 27 күн бұрын

Online shopping while drunk. You end up buying things you regret buying.

@halwakka504 27 күн бұрын

@@Lycius Ahh gotcha. Thanks!

@xy6845 26 күн бұрын

@@halwakka504 Which can often also happen when you're sober. So, wasn't the best one imo 😅

@karenjeanmooney-kelleher8583 26 күн бұрын

Oh. Hurtful.

@WendyPamphile 29 күн бұрын

Love you Mr Meyers. You make the G O P look so funny. You crack me up

@jopyhenriques8161 29 күн бұрын

who wrote the brain worm joke? lol

@jaykay3784 25 күн бұрын

8:48 The stoner "aw man" might be the funniest thing Seth has ever said.

@Pattiemarie3 28 күн бұрын

I laughed my arse off. Best joke in my opinion in a while was the skydiving,over a hundred yr old guy, his balls hitting the ground before he did. I am pretty old myself so feel no embarrassment at lol😮😂🤣good job to your writer and of course your presentation of the joke

@sherinameless1618 28 күн бұрын

The writer was Scollins. He should not be enabled. 😉

@bethb7965 28 күн бұрын

A former patient of mine(am a retired Occupational Therapist) who I took to the bathroom and helped onto the toilet hollered out, "my balls are in the water, it's cold!'

@Pattiemarie3 28 күн бұрын

@@bethb7965 lol

@gryjffrs 28 күн бұрын

I don't think trump understands the Hannibal Lecter character, or that he's just a character.

@dwdei8815 28 күн бұрын

Are there no Fridays in America?

@lindawellner5415 28 күн бұрын

Just a rew more vows before the cake...lol

@jeremyalexander9119 28 күн бұрын

Shes working her way up to pandas

@typicalhguy9290 28 күн бұрын

I would fully support Hannibal Lecter as Trump's VP choice. A few months in, Trump's liver becomes foie gras, and we get a comparatively sane, law-abiding, intelligent new President.

@toober1066 28 күн бұрын

comparatively! 🤣

@jkap34 28 күн бұрын

Only if Trump wins

@Pattiemarie3 28 күн бұрын

Yes in comparison to Trump. Maybe as a VP he could invite Trump to a private dinner 😉

@noreenconstantine4612 28 күн бұрын

Loved the "chorus"

@NECCO8001 28 күн бұрын

Dear Ukraine, the news may make it appear America is too corrupt to support you. Please know that many of us are horrified that unified political support for your efforts has collapsed. For the moment. Praying for you all, especially until we can vote in politicians that will fully fund and support you. You haven't been forgotten. Love, America's Silenced Majority

@JimIBobIJones 28 күн бұрын

Lol. Dude. Ukraine is plenty more corrupt than any western country including America... don't get me wrong I support Ukraine in the war and we definitely should stand up to Russian fascism, but that doesn't somehow mean Ukraine isn't a country captured by Oligarchs and corrupt politicians.

@andy21475 29 күн бұрын

Charles Manson found love after lock-up. So can Donny

@marshamariner7897 28 күн бұрын

They never got married... CM said he knew she was using him✌️✌️🙄🙄

@sherinameless1618 28 күн бұрын

Seth's telenovela staring was superb. I would like to see more of the fiery hate triangle between Lauren, Matt, and George. I picture Lauren and Matt falling into a tempestuous affair, based on their love of Trump and distain for common decency. But Matt will soon dump her, because although she never graduated high school, she is 25 years too old for his tastes. But what of her feelings for Eric Trump? Tune in next week.

@dorothykidd2888 27 күн бұрын

I think the dogs were dyed to look like a panda because they were in witness protection from Governor Noem.

@mammawlee 24 күн бұрын

Maggapelo is my favorite

@TommyTippy598 28 күн бұрын

Correction: Giuliani couldn't have been the line sitter since he is hiding out in his apartment (which is for sale) while trying to avoid being served a subpoena.

@amelliamendel2227 28 күн бұрын

As a huge Stargate fan, the series not the movie, I'm convinced the brainworms ARE the aliens, but they keep failing to take over the right people😮

@user-eb4zi5hu1t 28 күн бұрын

Do you think Christie Noem thinks places that do Goat Yoga is a shooting gallery like at the fair?

@ShirleyYooGeste 28 күн бұрын

How about a no holds barred fight to the death match instead of a debate?😂

@madeleineprice9645 14 күн бұрын

@shirley - Only if Drump’s weapon was a rubber Ruger 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

@Shamrock3d 27 күн бұрын

Anyone else notice how much Seth's Trump impression resembles a Reagan impression?

@DimitriOG-73 28 күн бұрын

Hannibal hector is from Mexico

@carolinelouisebruines8792 26 күн бұрын

0:31 noooo, he says 'silence of the lamb'!! Not lambs! 😳

@kathycasey8497 24 күн бұрын

An NFL QB, initials TB, drove a golf cart down the George Bush Pkwy once. I was there.

@blakethebeast3174 28 күн бұрын

First I heard about the Star Wars OREOs, kind of hoping they don't do a lot of spinoffs of the product and I'd end up only liking the Mandalorian one.

@susanbarrett4603 28 күн бұрын

Always love Seth! But what’s with the laugh track?

@Christine-jz1qj 28 күн бұрын

I loved the dis (disrespect comments) about the elected political attendees at Trump’s election violation trial.

@courtney-ray 27 күн бұрын

Correction : you said Golden bachelor when it’s the Golden bachelorette that’s premiering

@krisfrederick5001 28 күн бұрын

Cross your fingers donald when you double cross your former fixer 🤞🏼

@XtoriezNovel 11 күн бұрын

If Seth were honest he would tell you about Jury Nullification!

@teacherdkennedy 26 күн бұрын

Where is corrections? Are you going to make us beg?

@JacoDeltaco 28 күн бұрын

honestly Hannibal would be a better leader than Trump

@Gram-ue3px 28 күн бұрын

Ask him about selling America's most sensitive secrets to the bone-saw kingdom

@sherinameless1618 28 күн бұрын

During the show's two-week hiatus, the world should agree not to do anything risable or maddening.

@joachimschoder 28 күн бұрын

There is a pretty good chance the verdict in Trumps first trial will come down early in their second week. Maybe even end of next week

@leeobrienjonesjr.6294 26 күн бұрын

I thought when he said it was gonna be good practice for Gates that he was talking about being with an experienced woman. Haha! Way to get me.

@bcb7443 27 күн бұрын

The GQP members of the House are sooo Crazy!! 🤪

@phil-anthrophist3960 24 күн бұрын

How is someone allowed to fall asleep during a trial?? I get that it's better than him talking but surely you've gotta be awake for your own trial

@sderoski1 28 күн бұрын

Walmart produces more concussion based sales of cheap crap

@MaxModded 24 күн бұрын

Seth, that joke was... killed... by your call-forward.

@M.KEY_HEMIN 27 күн бұрын

😂😂😂😂❤

@stopthecrazyguy9948 28 күн бұрын

Oreos has come out with a gluten free cookie. Like gluten is what makes Oreos unhealthy.

@kyerinbennett8391 28 күн бұрын

How many literal “Ghost” jokes are you going to do this year lol jk well it’s almost Halloween 👻

@lesleyghostdragon3149 28 күн бұрын

9:25 = the instant Seth realizes what he's done..."Celebrity Jeobardy...oh crap...I said it with a 'b'..." JACKALS!!! ATTACK!!!

@sherinameless1618 28 күн бұрын

That's the reason for the 2-week hiatus.

@lesleyghostdragon3149 26 күн бұрын

@@sherinameless1618 😂

@cjdingojames3715 28 күн бұрын

😂 ❤ 😂

@j3cruz1 28 күн бұрын

Every picture of Trump grosses me out

@Vecun 29 күн бұрын

Am I really first? Finally. So many years in the making xD

@sherinameless1618 28 күн бұрын

You will remember today as the happiest of your life, and so everything that follows will be ashes and disappointment. ☺

@megmeyering2644 21 күн бұрын

🎉

@avengingmime 27 күн бұрын

Everyone give it up for Donald Von Schitzinpants and his fabulous backup singers the FOP (Friends of Putin) 🎙

@billyrodriguez1878 28 күн бұрын

He must like liver with onions and faba beans

@gcullerton3303 28 күн бұрын

CJ is a great concept- do a skit

@stephenbasaija1319 27 күн бұрын

Seth, you don't perform a closer look. you do a sneaky look

@DARWINZOO 28 күн бұрын

May 13th

@velotraveler 29 күн бұрын

😅

@lanaowens8028 24 күн бұрын

Are you on vacation again?

@andyseaward8816 28 күн бұрын

Watching that compilation, I had a sudden realisation, maybe a deja vu: I think the worst is going to happen. We all get so complacent, Trump, Brexit. We laugh at it all. But then.... Brace yourselves!

@sjs9698 26 күн бұрын

the problem with making things foolproof is that they keep building better fools ^^