Wow. Never looked at it like that. So true!

💯💯💯

Me too!

It's for people like that that hell exists. And the lake of fire is reserved.

Exactly the same for me.

So sorry.... I am in my 50' and just understanding this now 😢

Same. I remember being 7 yrs old getting hurt and I told my aunt “You did that on purpose!” It was a reaction because my mom ALWAYS HURT ME ON PURPOSE. It reminds me how my parents hated me even at a young age. Nothing I do will change that. I hear you.

That's so true! I grew up not liking people who did absolutely nothing to me, I just heard my mom say things about them that made me not trust them, but she welcomed people who were not good role models for us.

Absolutely! I remember my parents rushing my wedding date. “We just want to get this done. We are stressed.” Etc. So many bad decisions and advice from their direction….ON PURPOSE.

@@Flynow-24 yep, I figured that out about my mom. Of course we would moms are our first influencers. I stopped later in life and because of it our relationship has not been good. She hates that she cannot not manipulate me as she used to. She’s so mean and jealous of me. She’s 87 can you believe it a jealous old lady. SMH

Your comment totally resonates with me. My parents never encouraged, quick to blame and shame and confuse jealous if someone was a mentor. One example is in my late 20's I decides to go back to school. My father refused to drive me and laughed when I was scared. After completion my mother said :well it didn't get you a better job did it". I did it because my school years had been messed up for various reasons (they took no interest of course) but I did it for me no other reason. They couldn't even validate that and be proud. My father was in retrospect jealous as was my mom that I was more clever than them. All my choices went bad after that as I fell back into childhood habits. My mom even cut me off from both my aunts and cousins and uncle with her dislike of them and a dutiful child I then disliked them for 'hurting' her. All they think about is themselves and shouldn't have children, they're not capable of that responsibility as they angry little jealous vindictive children themselves but boy do they want my validation! I realised with my encouragement my validation my understanding that I was giving them what they should have been giving me ✌

​@@4378200My mother was envy & hated me all the way up until she died at 77 yrs old. She let me know I was her biggest mistake!

Very true.

Even if you can't! 😫

Oh yes they will. It’s funny how most narcissist if not all are the same. It’s almost like one person’s soul was copy and pasted into these people’s bodies.

@@IamStreber yes, and this abusive is a very different kind! Years are wasted convincing people what one is going through 😣

@@lilysleisure1918 this is the only place I have to open up and tell some of my experience . Thank you for your reply. Have you ever been scared and at the same time knew the fear was exaggerated? This last time he stone walled me, my thoughts were he could kill me. I want to mention that he has never told me that he would nor has he ever physically been abusive. But the fear was there. He found out that the fear was there and kicked me out of the house. He told me if your that scared you are not a good mother because you didn’t leave with my niece. Yes the fear was there but I can’t go by that fear. It was so weird because that fear had nothing to do with reality and I knew that. It didn’t make the feeling go away and I was so dysregulated that I didn’t trust everything that went through my mind, of course he uses that against me too.

That's so sad.

Thanks, Brenda.

Good self care is your priority.

I always think I would have ended up in an asylum if I didn't have a chance to listen to these wonderful people 😢 I can't thank them enough 🙏❤❤❤

Brenda, one day I truly hope to accomplish what you have. No contact is a dream of mine. I am depleted. You are doing great. I am so happy you found a way out. ❤

Would be too exhausting for me at work in any helping profession if I was only ever be determined in trying to prove that some people are more prone to depression when experiencing any illness than I am and so they need to be on psychoactive drugs with risks for the rest of their entire lives.

Munchausen is also a form of supply and entertainment.

sounds like my dad, RIP

My mother’s doctor let her go because she would not take their advice. Once my sister went to the doctor with her her doctor said that my mother needed mental therapy. My sister said he kinda blurted it out. I said he wanted someone to hear him say that. I told my sister a doctor would never have said that out in the open Willy nilly. Mother (87) refuses to get a cognitive. She knows what’s up but afraid of the truth of her dementia and just defiant.

Oh yeah they do 💭 that doctors in general are idiots &/or just after 💰...My narc father had issues with a few blood vessels in his 👃🏻 because he got it broken accidentally years ago & he kept having 👃🏻-bleeds that got worse & worse but he wouldn't let the doctor get a look at it because of course they're all just idiots/,greedy 🙄...until 1 🌃 it wouldn't stop & there was blood all over the 🛁.He would've died if my mom hadn't driven him to the 🏥.Even when he was disoriented from all the blood loss he was STILL being nothing but a difficult nuisance for my mom to try to get him out of the 🏠 to go.Honestly I wish we would've just been out running errands for a few hours while it all happened because then the nightmare would've been over...Now that he's in his 60's & can't hardly get narcissistic supply because everyone has 🏃‍♀️ from him, it's just getting worse with his nasty behaviors😬.

So pleased, Bonnie.

So pleased!

Ditto to that. Years of thinking "this isn't right" and "this doesn't make sense" Year plus into education, stumbling, googling behavior..yikes. It's a wild journey. Thanks, Dr. Carter!

You are so welcome

I know that feeling, I desparate wanted my mom to see 'me', to know 'me'. She professes love but I said the same thing as you... I said you don't like me. She denied that. It's true though she doesn't and if we weren't related we wouldn't be in each others circles. Now I don't care if she knows me.... Dr c and team healthy have shown me there are people who think and feel as I do. All my life she has tried to get me to think feel and do as she does so I ended up feeling bad, you need to you should shouldn't ought you're this you're that. No wonder we loose ourselves. Her latest has been projections of which i now reject. I think the bottom line is they were afraid of rejection but all theyve done is push us away by not accepting us. I wish id know decades ago but she is a vuln martyr victim and i fell for it. They feel bad so everyone else has to feel bad. Dr. C. has helped me see the truth, that we have worth, we're individual and that's okay.

Yes. Minimizing contact is a must. You need to take a mental break. When you are arround a narcissist you are always walking on egg shells. You need to be on guard on what you say and do. Anytime a narcissist can put you down they will.

go 'No- Contacts"&&& & Be Free

In other words, she didn't practice what she preached.

Mary, i’m glad you got the opportunity to do that. I tried speaking to my Dad (my non-Narc parent) but after I thought I could trust him he covertly handed the phone to my mother which broke any efforts I believed I had to stay in contact (with just him). It was sad, but I gave up, my sanity is more important. He is so under her thumb.

Mary and Kathy; my father and I never spoke because the narcmom controlled our truth…. Until he was in a nursing home. Then we were able to see how we both were manipulated. I hope one day, truth will bless your relationships too.

You are so kind. Uncle Les

I feel exactly the same ❤❤❤❤🙏

​@@SurvivingNarcissism I really want to come to America just to meet you!... Inshallah someday

@@lilysleisure1918 yep, ! I would like to also note that some others may get more views then him but ! They are not as good and genuine! The heart knows sincerity it's important for us who are fighting to heal ourselves . I am not hating on the other professionals . However if I had to choose just one I would choose Dr Carter. Let's all keep him in our prayers. I can imagine hearing so many peoples problems can be heavy at times , he is human.

@@medicineman3344 yes you are totally right!... I said the exact same thing to someone when I mentioned Dr Carter's work.... Like all the burden of so much unnecessary pain goes away!

I'm in your situation and I've resorted to - grey rock minimal communication via an intermediatory (text only), his texts stopped being abusive - set in stone weekly patterns - zero reaction to any unacceptable communication. Ignoring it works - meeting at a neutral place not my home, parking 20 meters away in the car park (my son is 10) - wearing sunglasses and a hat no matter the weather, so I don't have to look at him Just sharing my strategies in case they help you too. 7 years ago left him, 4 years using these methods. Post relationship abuse is vile. Good luck to you x

@@susanstardust4706 perfect!!!!!

Me too.

I am going through this too and would love to hear Dr. C's take on it.

You are in my thoughts & prayers. 🙏 I feel your pain. 😢 Stay strong......healing has started. I held in the emotional pain for years. I couldn't get out of bed to go to work, but I was a single mom at the time. Stay strong!! Take one day at a time.

Thanks, Tina.

Sounds like she has dementia and is parroting from negative memories. Try to have a conversation with her about her childhood, her favorite and worse memories. You might be surprised. 🙏🏼❤️🕊

I’ve run into a couple since the discard. Most likely is the scenario of the guy whose wife is rampaging control over her husband, and tries to intimidate me and my friendship with him. To date, she backs off after realizing I don’t react to her behavior. I respond with DRC, and she flees. My group of new friends exhibit no narcissistic traits at all. Perhaps they realize they’d get nowhere and don’t even try, but more likely I’d see red flags and they don’t even get into my circle of friends.

Absolutely! I think our “programming”, if perfected the way our original narcissist intended, would have us seeing ourselves as damaged and, subsequently, all narcissists seem familiar and normal. Once I saw that piece in me I found myself surrounded!!!

Thanks for the validation and advice.

Yes, you see them everywhere. They turn up in your new social circle. They appear like a blast from the past. It seems impossible. You wonder if you are crazy. Then . . . in time this seems to decrease. This is how it goes for no reason I know - yet anyway. I didn't actually do anything to make it stop, just managed to get a hold of myself and keep hanging on.

Let me add to this for clarity... like the physician above wrote, he lies when he goes to the doctor. Downplays any issues, refuses symptoms, lies about med and diet compliance. And that's IF you can get him to the Dr at all. He has also used medical issues as an excuse for not having gainful employment for years until he was called to the curb on it, then he tried to say that I was withholding medical care from him even tho I paid for his insurance, co-pays, and medications at the time.. when I caught wind of that of course I was told the person telling me the truth about his b.s. was the deceitful one and not him, even tho that person had zero skin in the game. They actually confronted me thinking they were saving him until I pulled out receipts. It has to all be about the rejection of authority and control?? I'm sorry to write so much, but this one really struck a cord with me.

I've had quite a few things I liked that were broken. I didn't know that's what was happening until I looked back on it.

Will your adult child help you leave? Take the dog and run. My heart goes out to you as I got trapped by a narcissist too. We arent even related or married and Ive been trying to get them out of my house for two years because I dont have the option of leaving my own home.

Man made religion is false, God wants a One on one relationship with each of us. Religion just gives men the ability to use God for power, or selfish purposes. They twist His Word, and tell us Who He is, but we should be finding out on a personal level. God gave us free will, religion goes against that.

@@teresarenee3829 well thanks to people like my father I'm not interested in Christianity at all, it causes me to have panic attacks about the end times and also makes me depressed. You're right about organized religion though. Glad it makes you happy but it only causes me grief.

@Morpha but that's my point. Religion is false, in fact it was created to do exactly what it did to you. Alienate you from Him. Don't blame Him for man's evil doing, He gave us free will to know our true hearts. I would just suggest asking Him to show you Who He is...

@Morpha I will not try to convince you, but I will share what He does in my life, the peace is incredible, super natural really, the wisdom and understanding fulfilling. There is more but you need to take it from here.

@@teresarenee3829 if I do anything spiritual it's not going to be with the Christian God or Jesus, it will be with someone/something else. If you want to make yourself feel better about my personal decision that doesn't effect you, you can believe like a perrenialist and lump all gods together as the christian god in different costumes. Whatever makes you feel better about it. Also, I'd ask you examine your intent when you try to sell Jesus/God to someone who has grown up in the church and has religious trauma from it. Any attempt to convince someone will push them away farther. It's not going to work with me. Hope you have a good day.

Drug him, put him into a wheel chair and drop him off at a nursing home, just a thought. Or you could arrange it properly. Ask your doctor to help and you could even go for a power of attorney to manage his affairs. Does he have insurance you can claim and use to help.

Surely there's some solution. You could try contacting your local human services. Maybe they could refer that individual to a hospice and/or assisted state run living center.

Hey Erica! 😃 Thanks for the comment. A few wks ago you and I talked about how we’re both in this MIL predicament. Hopefully Dr C can advise us on what to do and how to respectfully go about it! 😃

@@traci7200 hey Traci! Good to hear from you! I would like to get his input on this. He is great at what he does. I hope you are doing well and thank you for your support 😊

I can be.

I'm glad too! #TeahHealthy

Thanks, Annie!

Thank you.

I understand completely! *Hug*

Same to you, Blue Star!

Thanks, Papu!

You are so welcome, Amanda!

Thank you so much.

Good grief!

@@SurvivingNarcissism This was the last part I got to hear before running off to work this morning. INCREDIBLY-- just 3 hours later-- my older client pulled it on me! Very quietly, under his breath, he said, "I wanna give you some advice, and I'm only gonna say this once. If you want to find out anything about me, make sure you do it in here, NOT talking to one of my doctors." It was jaw-dropping! Rather than ask him what he meant, or argue, I smiled and said nothing. Later, as I left, on the way to the elevator, I started LAUGHING-- real loud. Just yesterday, I met my client's new "nurse-practitioner", and I was blown away by how good she was, so knowledgable, so capable, and keeping herself in such a good mood, laughing a lot during the visit. As she left, I followed her out, saying "I have a question..." As it happens, I didn't want to ask anything about my client, I wanted to pay her a compliment, and, ask, "How do you have so much patience?" And then I told her about listening to Dr. Carter videos. From a professional standpoint, I was taught that with EVERY member of the "care team", it is perfectly fine to exchange info for the benefit of the best care of the client. But I wasn't even asking about HIM. I was looking for advice on how to DEAL with him. But clearly, this guy wants me "isolated" (a word I hear on this channel A LOT). Heck, earlier this week, he actually said if he has an accident, NOT to tell my office about it. Geez. THAT is the kind of behavior that could get me fired!

That means...you can't disagree with me!!

I have listened to so many you tube videos on narcissism I think I am a expert lol

Good suggestion!

Thanks so much, Sheri!

Wow. America does need help. Serious help. You, and those like you, are proof that propaganda works. Please do not bring your delusional beliefs into this. It frightens me that people actually believe what you do. It truly does.

You're welcome