Our son was getting bullied at high school. His mum kept telling him to just walk away. I said that doesn't work, they just keep following you because you're an easy target. I suggested my son put up with it for 3 weeks and record the conversation you had with whichever teacher you reported it to, time, date, name, whatever was said. If after that time nothing was done about it then go to the headmaster and report it to him and if still nothing was done report it again to the headmaster. If STILL nothing was done then beat the living snot out of the kid. Our son was extremely patient but no one could say he didnt report it. We got a phone call from the headmaster to come and see him. He told us he had to expel our son for violence against another student and damage to school property. When we asked why he hit the kid the clown said he didnt know so we took out the little book that our son recorded all the times and conversations he had with teachers and nothing was done about it. The jerk then claimed that he should have come to him to which we read out the times he did come see him and HE did nothing to stop it. We told him that since this was all written down it was a legal document and maybe we needed to go to court. He backed down and we said so our son doesnt get expelled and the other kid gets suspended right? As we walked down the hallway we asked our son what school property was damaged. He pointed to a line of school lockers and each had a large dent in the door where he rammed the bullies head. In short, unfortunately, yes you DO have to stand up to bullies.

I knew a kid in high school who was "car surfing" - riding on the hood of a friend's car at relatively low speed, until neither one saw the speed bump coming up, and when they hit it, he fell off the hood and the car ran over his leg. He was on crutches for weeks and was known as "Speedbump" for the rest of his high school days.

I grew up in the UK in the 60's and we had nick names like this to. I'm not saying everyone liked them, but it certainly toughened you up for life.

Lol! This guy is funny! As a black person growing up in the 70s/80s. We had nicknames for everybody in the neighborhood even the dogs. I screamed out loud when he talked about Clock! Funny!

When he described Clock knocking out the bully, I kept waiting for the “guy got clocked” punch line. Nevermind.

Yup… some of my classmates were known as “Spaz” (he had epilepsy); “Jelly” (he was overweight but was a great athlete-when he ran everything on his body shook like Jello); and “Einstein” (always raised his hand first, never a correct answer given). The thing is, these kids were our friends. Their nicknames had nothing to do with bullying, they were terms of endearment. And yeah, as to bullying, if you didn’t take care of it yourself and instead told a teacher or a parent then you were marked for life. Even if you got beat up as a result of standing up for yourself the bully never bothered you again. Children today are learning the worst lesson possible: that there will always be someone there to save you. This is a monstrous lie that’s doing real damage to kids that lasts well into adulthood.

I brought a real grenade (powder removed) to my fourth grade class that I got from a military surplus store in the 80s. It accidentally rolled out of my backpack under the teachers desk but nobody noticed. I went to lunch determined to be the first one back to retrieve my property, but while eating saw a janitor holding the grenade talking to the principal from afar and never heard about it again. This would be a national news story today.

When I was growing up, in the 70's and 80's, a nickname based upon some unfortunate physical condition, or the outcome of a terrible accident, just meant your friends liked you.

I came from Brooklyn NY when it was still the real Brooklyn. We weren’t thin skinned, we were natural, free range kids who laugh at the absurdities of life. We had a childhood. Teachers were professional & excellent at their jobs, dressed like adults neat and clean and we respected them. We had no clue about their home life. We were well mannered and on the whole well brought up by the greatest generation.

This guy is a breath of fresh air, we need to take the piss out of ourselves more often. We Aussie's have just adopted you. Cheers from Michael. Australia.

Im part of this young generation and this man is the voice in my head on a day to day basis. Pure gold!!!

This is so perfect. "I'm not done yet". He's not done making fun of Gen Zs. I love this! LOL. I remember my 90s days. I got bullied almost everday and none of the bullies got suspended. It did me well actually. I started growing thick skin and learn to bully the bullies back. hehehe

Thank God this guy survived his heart attack because he's one of the funniest people around. Even him being a clean comic he wipes out most of the dirty comedians I like this guy's a genius

There is something REALLY HEALTHY about this guy's mind. I'm from his generation or perhaps a little earlier. I agree with Adverb - these were / are terms of endearment to us. I remember one guy in my class who had epilepsy. Everyone knew him as "Twitch". When a grand mal came on, we circled around him to protect him until the episode was over. Twitch was every one's friend.

The moral of the story - it is better to laugh at oneself than to whine and play the victim. Nowadays, everyone is vying to be the most victimized, whereas in the past, we vyed to be the best survivor.

Vietnam Era Veteran here. I spent from 1966 to 1970 high school years with junior ROTC getting all kinds of training IN HOT WEATHER, to be ready to be drafted, as usual it was and maybe VIETNAM. No cellphones, computers, no AC in florida summers training, then driving at over 100 degrees inside cars with no AC all the 1970's. Todays high schoolers are pampered PRIMA DONNAS.

I was "thin man" in high school... I was 6 ft. tall, weighed 135 lbs., and ran cross country. 40 years later, I'm still thin, much to the envy of all the beer guts I graduated with.

Brad is hilarious. No vulgarities, just funny as can be.

I grew up in the 1950’s-60’s. Whenever I left home one of my parents would say, “don’t do anything stupid”. I don’t know what my parents were thinking because between me and my buddies that’s exactly what we had planned. Like the time a neighbor nearby was burning some garden clippings and small tree limbs in his garden. We saw a couple old car tires nearby and we rolled one onto the fire. It produced HUGE clouds of BLACK smoke so we rolled two more tires onto the fire. Like Wow suddenly we’ve got a spectacular fire. It wasn’t long and we heard sirens so we ran out to the street to see the fire trucks roll up. The neighbor who started the fire came running out of his house in a panic. We actually admitted to putting the tires on the fire and we got off with a mild scolding thankfully. When they asked us why we did it my friend Joe told the firemen we liked to see fire trucks.

There was an elementary school boy who was suspended a few years ago for pointing a hand 'gun' at a teacher. Another for carving a (crude) gun out of a piece of soap. It's INSANITY!

That mans' comedy is legendary. Things were better when life had consequences and you were accountable. Now we gotta pretend NOT to notice the world around us.

I loved this, because I'm sick and tired of the epidemic of political correctness. It is almost illegal today, to say or do anything that is disagreeable by other people.

Love this kind of comedy. Just clean and real life.

So funny. We had a guy we called "Tooter". He'd do the worse smelling ones when in the classroom in the summer. We didn't have AC back then. And fans were to loud so the smell would linger. Never knew his real name.

To give an example of what he means- When I was young in the ‘70s, only about 1 out of every 50 kids wore a bike helmet, and the other kids made fun of them for doing it.

He's right, just about everyone had a nickname. I remember a friend of my mom's who was called Tiny because he was fat. My mother's nickname was Moose, she used to be a bouncer when she was young. One of my brothers was called MudTub, another was called Rags, oldest sister was Dolly (totally unfair), the other was called Kyle and I was Dawad. All had convoluted stories. No one would dare give nicknames like that to today's youth because everyone is so concerned about hurting feelings.

This is so true!! Thing is we laughed about these things together. No one felt upset or felt they needed a "safe space" It taught yiu to haveca sense of humor & be resilient.

I L❤VE this gentleman, Mr. Brad Upton! Thanks so much and God bless 🙏 🌹

I always feel bad about being old until I watch guys like Brad and realize how funny we are!

"Well, kid....Just face it. It looks like Clock cleaned your clock. And it's about time. Don't pick on him any more, because you might tick him off, and sometimes he just goes cuckoo, and then he strikes. Watch out! Make sure never to wind him up again."

This is fantastic and so true!! More please!!

By far my fave comedian I've seen on dry bar. Where can we get his show schedule!?

This was my first time ever seeing Brad Upton. Absolutely hilarious! He's got a real gift.

This guy is proof comedy is still alive.🤣

5:47 - "Hope you learned to keep your mouth shut!" This is way things should be today regarding bullies, but aren't. Something like that happens today, the teacher immediately has to organize some stupid group-therapy sessions with both sets of kids and parents, think of alternative moderation-behavior techniques, etc., etc., and all this must be done in addition to the teacher's regular workload. Either that or the teacher will immediately get fired. Just one of the hundreds of reasons teachers are leaving the profession in droves.

A woman is suing Sesame Street for $48M because one of characters didn’t speak to her kids during a parade. No wonder the kids today are so messed up!

As a viola player, that nickname had me in stitches! 😂 So glad they brought Brad Upton back, he's one of the best.

His was one of the first Dry Bar specials I watched, loved it and so glad he's back!

Hilarious! Great fun! Thanks for sharing! God bless!

Love Brad's humor. Glad to hear some new material.

Brad is comedy gold... thank you, Dry Bar, for bringing him back!

I love this guy’s sense of humor. “Clock”!

That was some funny stuff! I laughed at every joke!

Loved this! Thanks

I thought for sure he was gonna say he clocked'em 🤣😂🤣😂

Born in the late 60s, I DID have friends with one eye (garage door mishap), a few fingers missing (gunpowder), broken legs (moped race), brain damage (me, for reasons I'd rather not talk about... not linked to an accident when climbing in an old quarry) - and we were normal middle class and all went to university and got corporate jobs. Yes, quite a few of us didn't make it past their 20th birthday (cancer, drugs, AIDS, accidents, suicides) but all in all we had lots of fun and were involved in spectacular accidents - what else could you possibly want? At least, our adventures were REAL and not second-hand experiences in a synthetic universe created just for us by some AI.

😂 love your humour so different which is refreshing

By far the funniest comedy I‘ve watched and listened to lately 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

How he didn't use clock as a verb is beyond me. It was right there. 'He got clocked' was what I was waiting for. My daughter on the other hand said 'you got clocked TF out' 😂

He always manages to make me laugh. I am so happy to be in the same timeline with people like him who can make people's worries go away.

I'm a millennial and lots of my friends had nicknames. Had a friend so large in highschool we called him manchild. A friend in college always had drinkable soup she was drinking in class. We called her soup. Had a friend named Liz that went by lizard. One boy in middle school had the nickname frog eyes. Every generation gets and uses nicknames. Bullies will always exist and will never care about being politically correct.

Only a 7 minute video. I could watch this guy all day.

Facts..I Raised Myself Since I Was 9 & Kids Said I Was Always Smiling,, Laughing & Making Others Do The Same,, When They Thought I Had Absolutely Nothing To Be Happy About,, So They Called Me "Happy" & I've Been Called That Ever Since. (52 Years Later)

I love Brad! I do feel like people always lump Millennials together with Gen Z though lol. The youngest millennial is 26 (in 2022).

So glad to see you back on the horse, Brad.

Talking about nicknames; heard it on the radio this guy was nicknamed Milo... cause he wasn't Quick! Had me in stitches:)

*We originally called him 'Viola' because we knew he'd never play one" -- as a middle school viola player, I lost it. 😂🤣

I was actually in the audience at this taping. I was dying laughing as a 20-something, short, ar-15 owner, with an interest in big trucks. I felt very called out, but I loved every second of it.

Need more of this!….

Oh man the last joke was really clever. "Not Accurate?" Excellent just Excellent

he's killin' it...dead on accurate depiction of school back in the day

The BEST part of this routine is when the PE teacher comes and says, "What's going on?" Then he sees the bully just got "Clocked" by you guess it "Clock". The Brad says, "In those days that was the end of it". The teacher told the bully, I hope you learned to keep you mouth shut". And THE END. No anger management etc. Ah the days of Common Sense. They are gone forever!!!!

Tremendously accurate. Superb! 🥰 🥰 🥰 🥰

Well done, Brad. Good stuff.

I know it's a joke and I should take it with a pinch of salt, but I do agree that if a kid knocks out his bully parents shouldn't be called. Moron had it coming.

I wish DRYBAR would go public; I'd seriously buy a ton of stock. NOTHING in this world is more desirable than EXCELLENT CLEAN comedy. EVERYONE LOVES TO LAUGH.

This is amazing!

This was funny as hell ......and yes that is how we grew up in the 70's....nicknames and all. Thank you for Making me laugh and also reminding me of the good old days.

I am so glad to see you back on stage and healthy. Please continue to be safe careful and stay well. The world needs your humor. Thank you for sharing your incredible talent.

Comedy is just truth, humorously told. Not many do it better than Mr. Upton. Cheers.

When I was younger, we had heavy steel blue revolvers that were kid's toy guns, with shooting caps. And they sure looked real!

OMG, I laughed so hard I had an asthma attack lol. I grew up in that generation and can so relate to everything he said, lol.

LOVE THESE !! I'm cryin' !. Nothing funnier than true stories, and SO GLAD THEY ARE ALL CLEAN !!

Exactly correct, back in primary i got a friend literally called "Fatso" to the point he even acknowledge it with "yeaaaa??" when someone scream out "Fatsooo" in the cafeteria or visiting over to his house. Nowadays... It would probably caused several KZfaq videos released about "body shaming".

😂😂😂This was Great

Good to see him with new material.

I grew up in the country. I was barefoot in warm weather running in the woods, on the gravel road, riding my bike down a hill no hands, riding a go-cart that was too big for me, climbing up the oil drum then to the roof, then jumping off trying to land as far out as I could, plowing the field on a big farm all tractor age 11. No helmets, no shin guards, no shoes. That was in the 1950s.

Brad is a diamond...man...my dad and I love watching his standup. Rare for cross generational comedy...awesome! Keep it up!

I thought comedy was dead. Bless you, Sir. I'm your age. You are FUNNY.

Gold medal winner of comedic timing

I have known Brad for years! Really a great guy..he is a master of the comedy craft. Well worth watching...

Had a kid I grew up down the strret from, we called him Arthur the Arson, he had tried to burn his house down, TWICE! My brother got called Epi after he had his first epeileptic seizure. It's what we grew up with and nobody called the cops because it might have hurt someone's feelings, because it didn't! This guy is genius!

I can't go along with the "things were better then" cliche. My siblings & I had pacifist parents. We weren't taught to stand up for ourselves nor allowed to fight. School was agony and torture. I can't even discuss what happened to some of us. My siblings are in therapy as adults.

One of the coolest guys i ever met was called kickstand because he was left in a cast too long after a broken leg, it set to where he could no longer extend it fully. We all loved him and he loved the name.

You could almost say: _The bully got clocked_ Nice material.

Can't get enough of this man and his comedic genius!!!!

Still laughing and I haven't seen Clock ⏰😂😂

These are my friends ‘blinky’ and ‘snort’ 😂😂 I nearly became snort then with a cup of hot tea

So true. I got in a fight in middle school. A teacher stopped us in the middle of it and order us to go in opposite directions. Done. No parents called.

This is timely and funny, great clip. Going to bed with a huge smile on my face!

I don't mind curse words when it's called for. But, no cursing from Brad, and the delivery is just as funny. Refreshing to hear. 👍

This was hilarious 😂

Brad Upton 💯%😂 Never disappoints.

He's so funny and yes that was the way we did things. Fights were always 1 on 1 and then it was done. 😄❤❤😄❤😄❤😄❤

You know there is so more good "Clock" Stories to be told.

I had a friend who was born without a right arm. We called him "Bandit" short for one arm bandit.

So glad to see him back and in better health! He looks fantastic! Thank you for the laughs, can't wait to see the full show!!!

Always a laugh w/Brad, one of the funniest guys on Drybar.

Good old fashioned comedy! No obscenities but very funny!

100 % spot on. Very funny.