When someone roasted me, I had my comeback like 20 minutes later

First bully getting roasted by a second bully - there's always a bigger fish

You know that moment when someone says something insulting but you have no response... Then you stare at a wall for a bit and realize all the things you could’ve said😳

Feeble minded normie: Haha you’re adopted Me, an intellectual:At least I was wanted

Had a girl make fun of me for having a crush on her when we where younger, I simply said "what can I say, I use to have bad taste." She still hates me.

*Whenever I shower I always recreate arguments except I have better points and I’m winning.*

My friend, Tyler: “anything that comes out of your mouth is stupid” My other friend, Ryan: “Tyler”

Bully: go to hell Me: why? You getting lonely down there?

message of the video: everyone's got better comebacks than me

People online who can't argue their point so just start correcting grammar are so annoying, but that classroom grammar correction was deadly.

Guy:says insult Me who just watched this video: *I'm bout to end this man's whole career*

Person: “what are you now, the trash whisperer?” Me: “yep, or how else would I talk to you?”

Nobody: Me: **writing down notes for the next time someone insults me**

No one: Redditor: Class absolutely loses their minds

I was a shrimps kid with glasses and some big ol bald bully kid said “It’s Harry Potter, he’s gonna turn us into frogs” I replied “It’s Shrek, he’s gonna squeeze the jelly from our eyes”

My brother’s girlfriend asked me, “are you gay?” and I responded with, “Why are you recruiting?”

When you think of a comeback in the shower with a argument with yourself 😂😂

Trashtalker:**exist** Comebacks:Im about to end this man's whole career

Friend: **insults me** 3 years later Me: **finally though of a great comeback during shower**

Once my teacher said to check our work for mistakes. I broke my pencil and the jerk next to me was like "yoU JuST MaDe a MIstAKe" to be annoying. I said I'm not your mom. 🤣

Everyone: The greatest comeback ever conceived is No U Me, An Intellectual: *Nay Thee*

No one: Literally no one: People who watched this video: writing notes *INTENSIFIEs*

Just bring an uno reverse card wherever you go so when someone insults you or anything you just pull the card out

Person: You are the reason I feel tall Me: And you are the reason I feel smart Will remain my best comeback ever

My teeth are also like stars... yellow and far apart from each other

saw this on redditt "you make about as much as a garbage man" "well at least the trash they handle doesnt talk back"

Man: “Sir! That’s my wife! You should be ashamed!” Groucho Marx: “If that’s your wife, YOU should be ashamed!”

4:10 I once heard over a similiar story, but with the dude saying: "your teeth are like stars, because they are bright yellow and far away from each other"

Lol none of these hold a candle to: Harry Potter: Yes Snape: yes, s i r. Harry: there’s no need to call me sir, professor.

My Biology teacher and I watched somebody nearly get hit by a car running across a road He says to me “see what I mean about natural selection?”

Lets say that I was not the most attractive person in school. One time, I walked in the hallway and this girl simply said: ew. I responded by saying: That's what your mother said when you came out.

“You’re ugly!” “I guess we got something in common”

I wonder how many of these are just comebacks people thought of 24 hours later while showering.

this video: *exists* me: WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN

When I was playing Minecraft with a Friend, a Random kid said “ur gay” to us, My friend’s response was: “I’m straighter than the Pole your mother dances on.” *DESTRUCTION 100*

"This is why when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering"

I once threw a cable and missed its box. A guy said "great aim" sarcastically I reply "that's why you don't have a lil brother"

The greatest comeback in the universe is... "no u"

Me: *watches video* “WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN”

Guy 1: Guy 2 has the smallest d*** in the world Guy 2: Awkwardly looks around Me: at least he's got one

Once, in third grade, my english teacher sent a condescending note home pinned to my shirt, explaining how I was not paying attention in class, and that as my parents it was their responsibility to ensure that my performance was up to her high-quality standards. My mother, a substitute english teacher herself, filled the note with a few well placed small red circles. At the top, in the same red ink, she wrote, "SUBJECT/VERB AGREEMENT!"

guy: i have 10 times as many friends as you me: 10 times 0 is still 0 guy: well then

My Latina aunt: and where's your boyfriend honey? Me: and where's your green card Aunty?

this happened at my school and I didnt like my vice principal cause he liked walking into the girls bathroom so he stopped me in the hallway him - what's your name me - *says name* but my friends call me *says nickname* him - ok hi *says nickname* me - I said my friends after that I walk away leaving him stunned behind me he never talked to me again after that

that last one got me dying xD, the guy doesnt see that as savage? most calm comeback ever, proves it wasnt him, then just that flat diss great.

Neighbor told me "eh someone stole my I'd" Me " who would want to be you

No one: Absolutely no one: This guy: Winston ChUr KiLl

I was in drama and my class was playing improv. One kid hesitated and just blurted out "my girlfriend broke up with me" and another kid said "I can see why" I was thinking I could see why also 😂

Gordom roasted by his OWN DAUGHTER? Only in the Ramsay family folks.

Oh the irony of a British robot voice mispronouncing “Churchill”

This one’s from Harry Potter: Harry: Yes. Snape: Yes SIR! Harry: There’s no need to call me sir, professor.

In my elementary school (last year) A friend of mine had a HUGE grudge with this one girl my whole entire friend group hated (including me). She then brought all of her friend and we started screaming at each other. The girl we all hated started roasting us and it turned into a “roasting battle.” I still remember my comeback to this day. It’s pretty bad, but I’m proud because she got so offended over it. One of my friends in our group is really pretty compared to “the girl we hate” (I’m not saying her name) and she said that to her and then the girl we hate she said “roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, what happened to you?” I was so pissed she said that to my friend, because she was OBVIOUSLY much prettier than her so I blurted out “roses are red, violets are blue, you’re a b*tch, and we know it too” she was so angry at me after that, and even though it wasn’t a good roast, I’m still proud of it, lol. Plus, all the roasts she got were from google. How pathetic can you get?

"Aren't those A cups for kids" JESUS CHRIST. 🔥

"Nobody likes you, CJ." *"Nobody loves you, Max."*

This happened on the bus. It was Halloween and most ppl were in costumes. One of my friends was wearing a bunch of robes (She was from harry potter or something) And she was sweating bc the bus was really crowded, plus it was very hot outside and inside and they were wearing robes. The conversation went like this: Bully: "Who here smells like sh* ?" staring at my friend to signify it was her. Me: "Who here looks like sh* ?" All the while giving him a death stare. He went back to his seat and didn't speak for the rest of the bus ride.

here’s a comeback i heard so there was this kid who always writes in his journal however the teacher called his name to answer a question and he’s writing she picks it up and starts to read what he wrote however he misspelled a world and this was ela class and the teacher said “do you want me to redirect you to the elementary school” and he says “do you want me to redirect you to the cotton field” (the teacher was black) he got expelled but i still see him at some point

Lol when I was joking around with my sister playing video games and I said "gEt oN mY lEvEl bRo" She said, " *but it hurts bending to my knees.* "

Kid 1: "Don't copy my answer" Kid 2: "Don't worry I wont, I wouldn't want to get it wrong after all"

Once there was a girl in my class. She called me a nerd at end of PE class. I responded "since nerds are smart, you told me I am smart so thank you". She went craaazyyyy. Also, there was another chick who wore some handmade chocker. Honestly, she looked like a striptisette (tell me in comments how to spell it). I wore oversized "man" shirt with Star Wars logo on it. She asked me "you know you are wearing a man's shirt?" I responded "yes, but at least I dont wear something striptisette's do". She didn't complain about my clothes after that lmao

One i saw in a csgo yt video: "Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder y u look so disgusting?(something like that)" and the guy says "Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder y natural selection hasn't weeded you out yet?"

No one: Seriously, no one: Robot voice: C H U R K I L L

Once I heard two girls arguing "Why am I even your friend?" "Because there is no-one else who likes you!"

Sister: "You're a potato!" Me: "What? Are you talking about the chips at the bottom of the bag? *because that'd be you"*

Watched this vid yesterday but came back to comment cuz I made an epic comeback at an annoying kid today at recess. Basically me and my friends were sitting in a circle chatting and snacking, and this annoying group of guys playing football got close to where we were and the ball almost hit us, but our friend (we’ll call him “J”) caught the ball right before it hit my friend’s face. However it slipped out of his grip and fell to the ground behind him. Then everyone playing football turned to yell at him for interrupting their game so me being me said, “DON’T BLAME HIM JUST BECAUSE HE’S A BETTER FOOTBALL PLAYER THAN YOU ARE!” Really loudly in hopes of embarrassing J. However the most annoying kid out of all the ones playing football snapped back, “He didn’t even catch the ball!” And so off the top of my head I yelled, “WELL NEITHER DID YOU, HUH?” And my friends and the footballers started going “ooooooh!!!” And the annoying kid turned red and started muttering something along these lines: “Well at least my skin ... hot ... red ... not transparent ... like yours ...” or something and the footballers started to move away, but I pointed to him and said to my friends loud enough for him to hear, “When you struggle to think of a comeback.” EDIT: I’ve never felt so powerful in my life. 😎

"takes one to know one" and "i know you are but what am i" will forever be classics and my go-to no matter my age.

Some spicy comebacks. Enough to feed a entire crew.

Him:your mom gay Me: which one?

One time I was in university, and I was playing the piano (yeah, I do that, deal with it) and this guy walks up to me and goes: "remember when gay kids didn't play the piano?" And then I replied with: "remember when gay kids didn't exist? And then YOU showed up." The guy walked away, red as a lobster lol

Not quite a comeback but my history teacher is known for being one of the chillest people in campus, one day this guy replied to a question by using the classic “your wife” joke. Everyone thought it was a clear suspension, except the teacher, who gave him a candy and said it was a good one

Me: Shut up Bully: Make me Me: I DONT MAKE TRASH

I always get really flustered in the moment and can’t roast but then afterwards I’m like damn it why didn’t I think of that

I don't get angry easily. Some random dudes from my class tried to make me angry but I just talked back calmly. They got triggered but I still remained calm and just walked away, as if nothing happened. They were triggered because they didn't got the reaction, they wanted. During this whole situation I could care less about them

Man bothering King Demaratus of Sparta: “Who is the most exemplary Spartan?” Demaratus: “He that is least like you.”

once my fried was getting told “i am a savage you are below average” (something like that) and he said back “you have an iq of a cabbage” and he became so cool at that moment

"Why do you keep on tweeting nonsense?" "Not at all. I never tweeted your life."

Me: “Well I think-“ My sister: “I didn’t ask for your opinion” Me: “And I didn’t ask you to listen.” Hehe

8:05 And that was the last day Karen showed up to school.

My greatest comeback was when I was like 8 and this boy walked up to me and said "you're gay" and I answered "you're lesbian, unless there's something I don't know". (I'm from Poland and the term "gay" is used with boys, I'm a girl)

someone *rolling their eyes at me * me " keep rolling those eyes maybe you'll find a brain back there"

Teacher: question Kid: answers wrong Bully: ha, you failed! Kid: nobody asked for your life story! The entire classroom (including the teacher) was rollin

Wow Winston Churkill sure sounds like a cool dude to hang out with

My insults at school: Ur mom My insults when in talking to the bottles of shampoo: *every roast in this video*

*"WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!"*

You've corrupted my sweet personality by giving me an incipient desire to ruin some poor fools whole career.

Greatest comeback I ever had was when I was having a roast battle against my brother. He doesn’t know how to roast so here’s how it went: Brother: you already know who won! (Points to himself) Me: ya, the participation award.

When i was a 12 yr old, someone called my house a zoo, adding "its filled with different type of animals, some toxic, some friendly." I replied with saying that there house was a mental hospital, adding "its filled with different psychos, some toxic , some friendly"

In my English 3 class, I always had a bone to pick with the teacher, who always took my sometimes-less-than-adequate roasts. One particular day, she handed out worksheets for us to work on, which meant a quiet classroom while she did whatever she was doing on her laptop. Whatever she came across on there, it made her gasp. The whole class looked up in confusion like, “huh?” In a split second, a savage line sprung to mind, so I asked, “Did you see your reflection or something?” I got the biggest reaction to any of my roasts EVER. I guess the teacher wasn’t interested in punishment, because she simply shrugged it off after having an “oof” moment.

I fifth grade a kid was bothering me and acting like I had a crush on him. 'I'm iN a coMmITtEd ReLaTiOnShIp' 'with what? Your hand?'

So on one of the class field trips for my grade while I was still in middle school, I happened to be paired with this super annoying kid that I hated. He always made sexual noises and was distracting in class. We were walking around the theme park/carnival and he kept bragging to the group how he'd finally gotten this certain girl to date him. Without skipping a beat, I replied "Damn, [certain girl] has to raise her standards. Everyone, including the group supervisor, laughed. The kid looked REALLY surprised, considering I was kinda the dorky outcast at that school. Idk not the best burn I've ever pulled off but definitely felt the best

This kid and I got into a small argument about how many brain cells humans have. He said 100. I told him "Maybe that's how many you have."

There’s this one kid that annoys me so much. He’s one of those ‘popular boys’ that think so highly of themselves. Anyway, he holds the door for me and a few of my friends- Not because he wanted to, but because he had just opened the door and we were walking that way. The boy, rudely: “No thank you, or anything?” Me: “Well, I’m not thankful for you, so.” He was speechless. My friends and I laughed at that. It felt good, honestly.

Nah fam, gotta keep that uno reverse card on you at all times

Normal people: Aunt Automated voice: Aah-aunt

I remember I had this really crazy ex and everyone was pissed at her, she shoved a 4th grader into a brick and he was bleeding so he said "shut up ugly" like a normal 4th grader, she goes and says "don't call a girl ugly, shortie". The girls I was friends with didn't care at what he said. I say "don't call him short" and she responds with "coming from a short guy". I mock her and say in a condescending voice "don't call a girl ugly, coming from an ugly girl" she punched me in the nose and it started bleeding. Everyone is still really pissed at Jewel.

You know I immediately click this so I can prep myself on any future insults.

THESE THUBNAILS ARE TOO GOOD

Guy: >2 hours of roasts and insults but finally finishes< Me: *no u*

I remember a roast off between an American and an Asian and the Asian said “at least I got brains” and the American said “true, but at least I can open my eyes”

bully vs bully gave me faith in humanity