Mental health issues does not excuse abuse, especially when the perpetrators know if they have issues that hurt the people in their lives.

I’m really glad the husband stood up for his wife - in so many stories the guy takes the toxic mother’s side.

The OP's speech actually had me applauding. That is how you properly lay into someone. Bravo.

They handled this way too calmly, I would absolutely SNAP as soon as that close minded cretin of a mother got 'concerned" about the OP. WHO THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE IS. I get that the mother is bipolar and has anxiety and depression, but I would be to pissed off to care.

That mother has some serious issues. Her behaviour is disgusting and the brother is no better. They both need help.

The only jerk is the mom and that side of the family. While mental health is a reason for bad behaviour it is not an excuse for it. You dont have to forgive anyone for what they did, even your mother. Family owes you nothing. If you wouldnt acept the behaviour from anyone else, you dont have to accept it from family, you should expect better.

Honestly, if i was op's husband i would've Just cut contact, change home and change surname, and never ever hear about my hometown again, somebody Who does this deserves to be forgotten forever

“Blaming herself for everything that happened.” Uh yeah bc it was all her fault. I’m also “chemically imbalanced” but I couldn’t fathom being a mother that would do this to her son and blame the disease. She, her other son, the dad and the rest of the family are all gross.

The mother-in-law will NEVER see the damage she'd caused her son. She's a textbook narcissist, judging by the numerous instances of gaslighting in the story. What kind of apology is "I'm sorry she was upset" as opposed to "I'm sorry I offended her" anyway? That said... OP definitely wasn't the jerk here. While the best course of action is to disengage (a narcissist is never wrong and always the victim in their own eyes) it wasn't a viable option based on her circumstances, and her reaction is completely understandable.

Considering the similarities between the ex and the mother as well as the asserted similarities the brother claims to see in OP, I think the dad is what you get when you don't get out of that sort of relationship. You end up becoming an extension of the abuser, even if you think you mean well. The mother really did a number on all the men in this family.

The guy should have started saying "NO" to his mom long before this happened. IMO the couple should keep it as it is and try to reconnect after a few months/years, only if the initiative comes from the family and reassuring that their boundaries are clear and well understood by the family.

OP's BIL thinks his brother automatically respects his family after calling his much better wife "a carbon copy of your ex" who left him broken, battered and bruised, when the family did nothing to help? I would have responded "'This family' lost the right to my respect."

Objective: Less drama related stress Process: 1. Delete all social media accounts.

The op is amazing for sticking up for her husband and trying to protect and keep him safe, especially the husband for staying with his wife, I hope they get a happy life together, that horrible family is trying to keep the husband with manipulating and holding him accountable if his mom ends herself

that mother-in-law has EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!

Mother-in-law is too toxic she love drama

If the person is toxic is like venom, you dont have to drink and tolerate that. In this story the husband probably was the psychological sponge for her mother now he is gone. The mother goes to other members of the family. So now they see the problem they want YOU(the huaband in this case ) to go back and be the sponge again. My father has to deal something similar with my grandma of my mother side. To the family he was a shit person, my mother family threat us like the lower ones. Bc my aunt has more money and my uncle poor guy he doesnt get a good job. But my dad took it like i champ even i was the last grandchild my other cousins get the love of my grandparents. When my grandmother began tobe weak it was my father and mother who have to take her to the medic and take care of her for days in my house. The last time my grandmother said goodbye after we took care of her for 2 weeks and said goodbye Andrew my rich cousin name. That snapped my father and said no more. She has 2 other sons. We are done. And the toxic begin. That they dont have the time that taking care of here was dificult bc of the childrens bla bla. My father said we have a children also now is your turn and he deploy all the shit that the family did to us. So never again. And thats when they realize all that my parents did for her. But it was too late. My parents broke contact with the family they are garbage.and it was for the better. My parents were happier and i also. So yes toxic people you need to get out of your life

"She's taking the blocking really hard and blaming herself for everything." Uhh yeah? That's what she should be doing lol It WAS her fault and she should feel bad about it.

Part 1 of the story (puppy portion): Yet ANOTHER reason why I don't trust Petco. Sure, I worked at a rival pet store for about 6-7 years, but still, that doesn't change the fact that I already knew more about taking care of most animals than all of the Petco employees that I have encountered, or heard about, before I even started working at the rival pet store. Heck, I was the only employee there that had taken care of animals from the wild, so a LOT of employees recommended customers to me when they said something along the lines of "my kid found this..." or "we found this...". I WISH I had some good Petco encounters, but I've dealt with three different Petco stores, in 2 different states, and I have yet to encounter ONE good/competent Petco employee/store.

Love how the OP’s family-law keeps spouting about the Mother-in-laws mental health while disregarding the husband’s. Just goes to show they never cared about him and only themselves. Glad he decided to drop them

It sounds like the mom might have bipolar disorder.

I am so tired of golden children who give the scapegoat a hard time for kicking narcissistic parents out of their life. It doesn't matter if they were manipulated. All it shows is that they don't have the empathy to care that their sibling is being mistreated. All they care about is the fact that they aren't.

Being former military and having had to move alot, I blows my mind that the mother had an issue with his new station. Not like he has a say in thr matter. You get orders, you go. Simple as that

I've been through plenty of mental issues. She is a grown women. Him being comfortable with him self trying to live with out being bullied. And I wouldn't reward bad behavior like trying to unalive her self. Her mental health shouldn't be a excuse to cause other people's mental health to crash. Respect is important. Over all separation is key till they learn or till you forget them. Send post card ignore all else

Mental health can’t force you to be chronically abusive. Having mood swings is understandable and can lead to some conflicts, but you will come to your senses later and regret it.

i just love that a game is playing in the backround of each story

not a jerk mother in law was out of line so was the brother and father

The family need to know they are in the wrong and this guy is lucky to have her she doing everything she can do to help him

Block them, I have a mother like this, the things she said about my wife, would curl your toe nails, they never stop, you just have to cut them out, they will never change, I know, I have one and haven't talked to her in over 20 years, she is to toxic.

Causally puts own sons life through hell says that she absolutely hates him then she wants contact again. I think the mother does it for the whole family if not abusing the son. That why the father BEGED for contact again so she could do it to him and so she won't take it out on him. He still sees the actions she did AND HE STILL CHOOSES TO STAY WITH HER. Don't unblock them. Furthermore change mobile contact so she can't call you and like hell she's taking the drive to just abuse him again. She will always pick the most distant family member to use as a emotional stress ball

You just have to go complete NO CONTACT. Permanently. Their behavior, (mother, father and siblings and any of their friends or family that take it upon themselves to interfere) is toxic. Husband’s job in the military demands complete concentration and they are detrimental to his health and well-being.

When you have a parent like that you learn to stand up for yourself or you let them walk all over you. I have a mom just like that. Sometimes you just have to walk away & give it to God to deal with.

After watching this story I am reminded of my own family I have a mother who suffers from drug abuse and mental illness and her entire way of thinking is if you do not benefit her or provide for her then there is no use in her life for you I am her oldest son the first born of my siblings and of the three of us there's only two left I lost my brother to suicide and that's a story for another time but my mother is very much like the woman in this story she evicted me and my wife from an apartment that she owned because she wanted live in healthcare for her serious condition my mother's serious condition is is that she doesn't have enough marijuana or methamphetamine she loses her mind my mother after not seeing or hearing from me for 15 years because of the last time she pulled a stunt like this had the nerve to tell me that my wife's only use for me was my money because I'm a truck driver not because my wife is an administrative assistant making almost as much money as I did and that no woman would want to have anything to do with me as long as I chose to live my life on the road I have no use for people like this I agree with the way this couple took care of the situation I also have ostracized my mother because of her treatment of me over the last 40 years and because of her recent treatment of my wife I am a grown man I'm 40 years old and I live my life accordingly nobody and I repeat nobody is going to tell me what to do anymore not even the woman who gave me life because that's the only thing she has given me other than post-traumatic stress disorder and a headache that has lasted the better part of my life to everybody out there who has very similar issues I say stay strong and ex the people out of your life that do not benefit you praise you or help you be a better person at the end of the day it is up to you only you can make yourself better person trying to live up to the standards of your mother's and your father's dooms you to repeat the same mistakes that they made

the mother in law and the brother need a special theraphy

I've been through a very similar situation as the OP's husband. Had mother act in a identical manner and dad was supportive of my decisions. I had to block them after making my stand I was done. Had my older sister message me trying to blame me just like the brother. I left the door open for my mom but she has to take the initiative and grow up. OP is not the jerk. Just a concerned and loving spouse

W vids and btw i watch lots of your vids and i subbed

It is hard to the ones that weren't abused to ever understand the abused ones feel, and with this type of family, even thought you are abused, slide it off and continue to take damages are what they, the ones who are abusing, considered to be your best course of action, otherwise they won't have any victim to bully anymore.

“She taking it hard and blaming herself” she should blame herself it’s completely her fault

Ha I went no contact with mine, hell no. If they want to unlive themselves bc they can’t stand the consequences of their actions that’s their choice 🤷🏽‍♀️. I wasn’t put on this earth to be a person’s punching bag, doormat, trash can, fireplace, etc etc. Narcissist are evil and I want no parts.

The jury finds the op not a jerk

When you don't know what to say just go with hi pals

I'm tired of people using " i have a disease" as if its an okay reason to kick people around.

i listen to this stuff while a grind in games

If this is an accurate depiction what happened, the mom need proper help, the brother needs to keep his oar out of it, and the best case scenario for the dad is that he genuinely feels in the middle and just wants everyone to be on speaking terms.

No wonder the mother in law preferred the abusive ex wife considering they were practically the same person. She would rather have her son be abused and miserable than have a happy and healthy relationship. Gross.

I wish I could be open about both my own sweet mother (may she rest in peace) and my toxic mother-in-law (may she also RIP). I'm in my late 60s, and have memories of both of them being kind, sweet, understanding, etc. My mother remained that way, even though she had a chemical imbalance in her brain that came out in some horrible ways. Nothing, however, she ever did was mean-spirited. She was a nice and happy person, and loved her family. The issues were when she perceived (almost always falsely) that someone had, or might, hurt her family. She was fierce in her protection of those she loved. My MiL, on the other hand, mellowed a lot as she aged, but she was the only person who had ever slapped my adult, married with children, face. And it was because I wouldn't move the empty grocery sacks from where my sweetheart (her daughter) and I decided to keep them, to the place she thought they belonged (under the kitchen sink). Yes, she slapped me. It wasn't hard. It was meant to humiliate me. It didn't. I found it humorous, but only later. When it happened, I was pretty angry. I was recovering from knee surgery and couldn't just hop to her demands like some random child. I was only in my late 30s, but still.... The problem with crazies like the OP's MiL is they picture, and act as though, their baby boy is still their baby boy. They won't allow them to grow up, and they panic, and start to manipulate things to get them back the way they were. If you understand this, you can deal with it better. Sometimes. One thing crazy people don't understand: If you treat your child's spouse badly, don't count on getting to know your grandchildren. If you treat both your child and their spouse badly, you are guaranteed never to see your grandchildren. Do you want to see your grandchildren? Act accordingly, Karen! (This hurts because my cousin is named Karen, and she's a very nice, patient person, and never a "Karen")

There is no excuse for abuse. This couple deserves so much better than a hypertoxic and abusive family on any side. The couple did so great in not only giving them a proper bollocking, but also in cutting off such a gangrenous limb. May his family reap what they have sewn. If I had any abuse hurled at me by my fam…they’ll be dead to me.

The way the brother and the father talked tells me that they didn't know the hole story. It wouldn't surprise me it that's actually the case. But there's other variant that she perceived the things she did differently or because of their illness like my grandmother who sometimes didn't understand what was happening around her and will made-up all the stuff you can think of, like she went to a shop to buy something and come back with the groceries but with a story saying she saw my grandfather with a woman even though grandfather was with me and my cousin the hole time she was out. Or is because people will always believe that they did the right thing in any moment even if they didn't. So they say there part of the story that can be similar to what happened or pretty far of off it. There's other possibility that she just doesn't want her kids to be or married or away from her for too long, so she will make them go back to her in any way possible. She probably perching that OP is the reason she doesn't has her boy back home so she tries to separate them.

No! Stand your ground and have a peaceful life you don’t need that in your life I have no contact with my family and I don’t miss them no drama or nonsense in mine and my daughters life worth it believe me they abandoned me when I became a single parent and times over the years have been tough but so worth it I’m very proud of her and she has had toxic people drain her at times but she just said don’t need this in my life! And stopped helping their constant drama! They want to make you both feel guilty that’s emotional blackmail you don’t need that in your lives! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿♥️

It sounds like the son is the only sane person in the family, and he finally found a sane woman to marry! I have sisters that are like the mother in law, and you cannot do much to reason with them.

Nut job!!!!! Well said girl! ♥️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

“Blaming herself for everything that happened” 😐😑😐 It is your fault for everything that happened and you should feel disgusted by the sight of your own face The amount of pain you have put this man through I’m still surprised that he hasn’t already kicked the bucket You should take responsibility of your actions apologize and make sure you help him through all the suffering you have put him through You should feel sorry you should be crying about it cause sooner or later she’s gonna cut you off forever and you already know it’s gonna be your fault I’m writing this for this long to tell you how much you should feel bad and how sorry you have to be to him to make up for all the pain you have put him through And for the OP she is not a jerk Telling the mother-in-law that is making her own son go into depression to F off Or anything similar to that word Is not being a jerk you’re just trying to help out somebody who’s being pushed into depression from some old woman The OP’s mother-in-law should feel ashamed for dragging the family into her side when she knows she’s the one who’s in the wrong In conclusion the OP is not a joke for the reason of trying to help her husband when the mother-in-law is putting him through depression on purpose and not trying to help when she knows her son is suffering the mother-in-law is a bad person who you should not be anywhere near and I don’t even know if she can change at this point And I hope the best of luck to the good couple and I hope your mother-in-law finally sees her wrongdoings and stops (sorry that was so long I just need to get everything out of me after seeing this)

Yes... the serviceman's _wife_ told his CO where to move them to... That's a healthy, logical mind, there.

3:06 bruh he said bless him immediately after i sneezed lol

Wouldn't the answer to be to delete Facebook, and give them a 6 week block on phones, and then see what happens after?

A large dog is very rarely aggressive, whereas Huskies tend to be aggressive, so the writer has misunderstood a lot regarding the different dogs' temperaments‼️

I have to say it's not easy dealing with an overbearing parent. But it's definitely a classic red flag of an abuser when they make you feel like it's them or your family. Not saying either side is right, just that both are making the same mistakes

As someone who deals with mental illness, it is no excuse act in such a way. I am guilty of this in the past, but I have learned from my mistakes. From the sounds of the story, the mother in law is supposedly getting help, but is it the right help she needs??

I see a lot of people saying mental health is no excuse. Which is very very true. Although; the thing that made me understand to the mother was “starting a new treatment”. Boy howdy is that like the most DIFFICULT time in a process of getting better in mental health. Though knowing those two sides of you: taking responsibility of your actions and emotions is key. That is a skill that her and her family hasn’t learned yet. She is going to fail allot in her journey and probably will not learn that lesson unless her husband and son can help teach her that way but i totally get where the mother is at. Ive been there; not fun, confusing time, testing drug after drug, feeling like your being pulled apart and unable yo control anything.

Mental health does not excuse poor choices. If you have mental health issues that's all the more reason to come forward first and humble yourself, stating you know you have a problem and you want to change but need their help. If she had any common sense, she would have done this. But she doesn't want to fix her problems. She wants to justify her actions. That's not the sign of someone who wants to become better. The family is trash for not seeing this, and caving to her toxic demands. Sincerely, ~ Someone who struggles with mental issues (bipolar-depression) and doesn't use it to excuse their poor choices.

There's wayyyyy more going on in that relationship. there's a lot of history there I'm willing to bet.

Your mental health is important too. Not the jerk!

Horrible mother. OP's husband should join r/raisedbynarssissts. That family is horrible. OP & her husband should detach themselves from that toxicity.

we never had problems with our puppies over eating, the few rescues we had that had issues with it, got over it once they got use to the fact that food was always available and they didnt need to eat as much as they could because they wouldnt know when they would be fed again, the worst one my granny spent a week spackin her on the hed with a rolled poster, after more then a set amount of bites, she also was the one who adopted the dog off us because... well... she was a good dog and... granny became attached... her husband... well he grumbled constantly... but... you never saw him go for a ride without calling the dog... and he was always walking around with dog treats in his pockets... sort of like how my father is a funny guy when it comes to cats.... he "hates" them...yet when hes asleep in his chair, if a cat crawls in his lap... he pets the kitty... as he snores...

So, it could be the fact that the mother-in-law has chemical imbalances due to her treatment, but they should reconnect and talk to them until she's done. Also, her family should do a better job of calling out the mother-in-law and not letting her get away with everything that has happened

I stopped talking to my family 20 yrs ago for the same reasons except my mom was not mentally unstable but was still abusive and they havent even tried to talk to my daughter in the same amount of time. So I would just stay with what you are doing

7:36 to 9:24 here is what i have to say about what the op said to the mother in law... bravo and well said

Yknow like "sup Darren say hi to Karen for me"

if you remember The Sopranos this the kind of person the same as Lydia.This kind of person exist, because my grandma (from my dad) are one of it.she's at first impression was kind and generous person, but no that was just her mask.she eventually later try to demeaning, manipulate the people close and taking care of her.

If you have to choose between your own mental health, that of your spouse and on the other hand that of toxic family, the simple question is this: where are you happiest? Because toxic family do not change. It is a vicious circle that will always repeat itself. They are what they are. Let that light guide your decisionmaking.

Lol you can drive just fine the day after a bunch of ketamine 🤣🤣 they make it sound so much more extreme than it really is

Dogs are not supposed to eat any type of nut especially not peanuts since that can kill them. (I have had dogs since i was 2 so i have learnt a few things about them)

Bro the message was the best thing ive heard

A restraining order to the point that she can never see you

Sometimes the best way to love your family is to keep this distance. If you love them or loved them, let them go.... Wait 10 years and see if their tone changes, sounds like she's healing a lot better having to face some consequences in life.

AITA be like 99 percent of the time: My brother killed our whole family, and I called the cops. *aM I tHe jERk*

Why is it people don’t check with both parties before jumping to conclusions? Especially with family matters.

The poor dog :(

Hopefully the husband's family will remain caved-in in their nastiness.

The next step is to get restraining orders on the family members (BIL, MIL and FIL) because it sounds like they wont take that one their members won't be a pawn of their game

When I was 13, after years of severe bullying and familial abuse, my crush asked me out. I agreed, but I was skeptical, cuz the court issues that my sister caused were just about wrapped up, and I was about to get back with my mom, away from my abusive grandparents and sister. He then turned around and him and his friends immediately started laughing at me. If it weren't for the fact that we were at the public pool, he no doubt would have found pleasure in my tears

When the MIL changed the icon to Ex, I thought to myself: "Ah. Two controlling Bs in a pod."

Life is to short to allow toxic people to be around you. Some people will understand and try and change there behaviour but if they dont you have to cut off toxicity because it spreads like a cancer.

“Abusing” him. Wow. 1. It’s called neglect. 2. There doing nothing wrong.

I love this channel it's awesome

I just don’t understand why these people let their parents treat them and their partner like that.

I have mental health issues....serious mental health issues and I don't use it as an excuse to belittle anyone. If I feel an episode coming on, I would warn whoever I'm speaking to and give myself space

I'm sorry all about this, this is highly stressful for you. Your not a jerk, you are just protecting your father.

This is the most stupidious thing ever. My Boston is crate trained and she is the smartest hamster-pig-thing I've ever had; while still trying to escape to the outside world, she gets her business done outside and loves to meet, greet and snuggle with any other dog, cat, and person! (please tell OP that just to train a Husky, I love them.)

Story 1 is way to families. Drop those people. Protect yourself. I had to block my own mother for this same reason. Just leave the mother in law.

Mental issues should not be an excuse for treating someone like shit

This stuff is spicy 😯 like don’t do that to anyone especially your kid! Thank the lord for his dad tho….

Best channel

My mom has severe mh issues, in the past if she wasn't actively months into treatment and showing observable progress in behavior she wouldn't be allowed to contact me, my significant other(s) or my grandparents. Mental health is important and you need to prioritize your own over even your own mother's or you could end up in some nasty and dark places. Good on op's husband.

I did not realized until today that this video was released on my birthday

I wonder if the husband's brother knows what their mother did to their dog Got him sick, tried to guilt trip them telling them that they have been abusing their dog, pretty much tried to kill the dog and get them arrested 😤😠😤😠😤😠😤

Poor dog ;-; i hate this mother in law for how she gave the dog so much water and food and free rain of the house as im a dog owner my self

Husband & wife were correct in blocking the family. You are not the jerks the family is the father-in-law mother brother are the jerks. It is your's and your wife's life don't let anything come between you two ever again.

Bro honestly what is it with some mother's favouring the abusive ex so much

My thought, just keep it no contact with the mother in law, father in law and the brother in law. Clearly they treat op’s husband like a punching box and that is incredibly toxic to be around with. They take their frustration out on him but once op’s husband is gone they have no one to self rant their toxicity on someone rather themselves which it is incredibly pathetic.