My mother passed away two years ago. I couldn't even cry. All I felt was relief. I told my daughter, prepared for her grief. All she said was, the curse is broken. When you feel like your own mother doesn't like you, you can't help but feel she's right about you...I can forgive her, she wasn't well. But my childhood was hell. Pure hell.

You believe you are fundamentally flawed. Somehow, before you have memory, you did something so terrible that you must pay for it for the rest of your life. In my case, I wasn't allowed to socialize with people, except in a very strict environment. Like I was some monster they were protecting the world from. I knew what I was allowed to talk about and what was off limits. In 2014 I changed the rules, I was 47. You are not a monster. You are as good as anyone else. It's your life. They control you because you allow it. Stop allowing it! I promise, the world will not stop rotating. You aren't responsible for it rotating anyway! You can't wreck everything, you aren't responsible for everything, you never were. They just told you that. You can’t wreck their life, you aren't responsible for their life, they are!

I’m listening to this on Mother’s Day. Sitting alone. I had to go no contact with my mother 15 years ago and I’m still working through the trauma. I’m one who chose not to have children or get married. I remember when I was a little girl, I sat on the couch and cried and asked my mother if she even loved me at all. My question enraged her and she started mocking me and saying in a sarcastic and mean voice, “I love you. Does that make you feel better now are you going to stop crying now?” I remember that room. That couch. Where I was sitting on the couch. Her face. Her voice. Her anger and disgust. It is burned into my soul forever because in that moment, as a little girl, I knew for a fact that my mother did not love me. Mother’s Day is the worst day of the year for me.

When my mother was pregnant with me she suspected my dad had an affair (this was way back in the No Sex During Pregnancy era). I was raised my whole life "knowing" there was something I had done to piss my mother off, but never being able to solve the problem or even fix it. My mother died in my arms not responding to my "I love you, Mom." It wasn't until her funeral that my older sister revealed the root. Even though it all made sense then, there has been such an emptiness that I was raised by a woman who barely tolerated me. That I was a reminder of her loss of cherishment at a crucial time, and that she placed that onus on me. She has been dead 25 years and I still struggle with self-worth and believing I am worthy of being loved just because I exist. I find it difficult to think of looking at a baby in my arms and hating them, but this is what my hear carries to this day.

I am currently 1.5 years no contact with my mother. I finally realized I would never heal from not only her but also the chaos and neglect of my traumatic childhood if I was still getting swirled up into her “dreamland” under constant gaslighting. I also haven’t spoken to my father in about 12 years because of his struggle with addiction. Proud to say the last couple years of my life have been the best yet, the more distance I implement the bigger and brighter I bloom. I cry about it (a lot sometimes) but those feelings are temporary and my healing and growth are not. I really appreciate your channel - thank you for being here! ✨💖✨

I didn’t ever wonder if my mom loved me. I KNEW she didn’t.

Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb? Mother, do you think they'll like this song? Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls? Ooh, aah, mother, should I build the wall? Mother, should I run for president? Mother, should I trust the government? Mother, will they put me in the firing line? Ooh, aah, is it just a waste of time? Hush now, baby, baby, don't you cry Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing She won't let you fly but she might let you sing Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm Ooh, babe, ooh, babe, ooh, babe Of course mama's gonna help build the wall Mother, do you think she's good enough for me? Mother, do you think she's dangerous to me? Mother, will she tear your little boy apart? Ooh, aah, mother, will she break my heart? Hush now, baby, baby, don't you cry Mama's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you Mama won't let anyone dirty get through Mama's gonna wait up 'til you get in Mama will always find out where you've been Mamma's gonna keep baby healthy and clean Ooh, babe, ooh, babe, ooh, babe You'll always be a baby to me Mother, did it need to be so high?

wow. where was this information when i was young , before mother dearest destroyed me. took until i was 57.. .i enjoy watching and learning with you, you voice is calming for my cptsd and no back ground music. thank you!

I'm at 12 years no contact with my mother. I've worked on myself extensively with many modalities. Yet there's a 5 year old in me who experiences murderous rage when I think of her

I feel so seen. Thank you. I finally ditched her for good a few months ago. After several years of her ignoring my going no contact, I told her she made me feel unloved my entire life. She responded by saying, "Oh I did, even though you made it impossible". SHE LITERALLY TOLD ME I'M UNLOVABLE. 🤦‍♂️

Once again, Dr, Sage, this is spot on! Everything you said rings true for me. Especially the part where you said that we don't share parts of our lives with her. I have hidden things from my mother since I can ever remember to avoid her judgement, criticism. punishment and ridicule. Then she would call me conniving and secretive and use my sister to try to gain information. I'm almost 50 now and we have very limited contact, I have no contact with that sister, and they know almost nothing about my life. It is peaceful.

I am interested into how these wounds are generational and travel through many generations.

Omg. This is so spot on, it’s almost spooky. You must be a really good therapist. I also feel like being able to control your child, your spouse, with anger is a real high for them. They love to pull the strings even if they make everybody else miserable. Sick. And they maybe don’t realize or just don’t care that when their victim breaks free, the victim is going to hate the abuser’s guts forevermore.

I’m guessing this is for way more damaged people but as an adult I finally found the love and respect by actually putting the pieces together of how she was raised her life her goals and then the genetically and social pressures she constantly broke barriers with education and self reliance making her own money and prioritizing financial security over so many other issues… when I finally was old enough to o stop blaming her for being a very damaged person during my early childhood I can look at it from the perspective that she was a completely independent financially, independent woman, successful in those rights, and then thrust into the role of being a mother of two small children, and this was in her late 30s she gave up all her freedom everything to stay at home and raise us. Her husband was an alcoholic. Her husband‘s family wears the ones she wanted to and unsuccessfully impressed. She also suffered from a few bouts of cancer and as kids we were never brought into these conversations or knew about any of it, so I cannot imagine the amount of depression, isolation, loneliness, and helplessness that she went through and my heart is bigger and more full of love for her as a grown woman than it ever was as an immature 10 year old child, who may have experienced abuse, but knowing what she went through, she’s become more than an inspiration…. she looked out for us, financially set up everything she possibly could so whatever we lacked in emotional support, she took care of us financially with her intelligence she’s an idol she’s iconic. Everybody knows her I wish we could have talked more, but that’s my selfishness and her trials and tribulations, unfortunately are so easy to be spread out by psychobabble like shit that you say. I also have a degree in psychology, and the only difference that I wish I sufficiently stowed upon my children is the physical love and affection and the talking about what is going on in life so they can recognize what is disorder versus cruelty, versus addiction versus learned behaviors, and how to break those cycles

My mom said "well at least we didn't sexually abuse you" I grew up trying to protect my mother from my physically abusive father. He's come home drunk and get her out of bed and hit her. I would try to hold on to her when I feel asleep hoping I could protect her. She chose my father over her childrens well being. That's been my job since I was a child, protecting her. I was going to see her every summer and she always said hurtful things so I've decided never to go back. I just don't want to be involved with her anymore. My brothers are who she is supportive of. I'm done with the drama. I heard someone say that drama is for those who have stranded intellect. I agree with that statement.

"Often father and daughter look down on mother (woman) together. They exchange meaningful glances when she misses a point. They agree that she is not as bright as they are, cannot reason as they do. This collusion does not save the daughter from the mother's fate" Bonnie Burstow, Radical Feminine Therapy

Sorry for my English, I'm not a native speaker 😅. That's so strange that I found all these signs and traced the roots of my traumas, like, years ago, and even explained it all in the same words as you used in the video. It's like to hear myself but from another person. Strange feeling. But it's great that more and more people are paying attention to such themes and starting to discuss it without afraid of being ashamed. The sad thing is that even this knowledge can't help me :) The wounds are too deep, psychologists in my country are just terrible and AD don't help me (and I tried a lot of them). But I hope that your videos will help to others to find inner peace, I really hope. Thank you for your job!

I’m so grateful for you. There are many times (like right now) when I feel completely disconnected, wanting to numb out, depressed and feeling broken and then I remember your videos and I watch one and you remind me why I’m feeling this way. This is such a difficult path and I’m so grateful that I have your videos to guide you through this. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you for being real (cat hair 🤭) Thank you for saying these words out loud... hearing them is healing for me. I am so grateful for you, Dr. Kim

Thank you for the validation dear heart ♥ Yes, i know now my single mother was a narcisist who make my childhood a special kind of hell and it certainly prepared me for a husband who also turned out to be a narcisist! I'm 74 and finally free of these two demons who absolutely drained me every which way. I'm lucky to have survived their insanity and am trying to beat the depression and love myself enough to heal. Unfortunately, I don't know if it's even possible. You certainly are an inspiration to us out here ... God bless us all.XOXOXO.

This is so accurate. It feels activating, but also validating. I’m proud of myself that I’m in a place, where I understand these things so clearly and are actively taking deep care of myself. Not just regarding her, but with everyone or anyone. I’m stating truths, realities, setting firm boundaries, staying true to myself. Letting others, including her, take responsibility for themselves. There’s more. I’m no longer a dumping ground, scapegoat, toy, source of entertainment, target, etc. Not that they don’t still try. You know how people think they can treat you as they always have? They don’t want to lose that control. Some people have exited my life, on their own or by my request. I’m vetting people as they come, now. In breaking old cycles, I practice my newer self advocating skills. It can be difficult, doing all kinds of stuff to my central nervous system. But, I feel so much better overall. It’s slowly becoming easier. I think I’ve become my best supporter. I can look at myself and know that I have my own back. I know there’s much more to come in this journey of undoing. I trust myself. Thank you for this message. As I go, these type of messages are helpful for re-centering and grounding. 🩶🙏🏽

Wow.....this describes the relationship I had with my Mother to a "T". The more I pushed to have my separate self, the worse our relationship became. She gave me an ultimatum when I was 33, her way or estrangement. I chose estrangement and never looked back. My brother didn't escape, he never became his separate self. He literally wasted his entire life trying to achieve goals that constantly moved his whole life....even though he was the favorite. When she passed, he was utterly lost and ultimately chose to end his life.

I never believed that my mom cared for or about me. I have very few real memories from childhood that were good, but boy whenI started to shine in acting in plays my mom tore me apart in any way she could so I would fail. ugh.

if my sister and I ever wrote a book, the title would be “Don’t Tell Mom”. To this day, I am very closed to her about my job, my relationships, my interests because things like that would be met with ridicule or some sort of comment.

Thank you Dr Sage, always great info♥️ side note … luv the wallpaper!!😊

I've never seen it so clearly anywhere. This helps immensely to move on. Many thanks for this and all my love. Kind regards

This resonated deeply! My mother is a covert narcissist.

Thank you for giving this phenomenon a voice and a name. Such an effective coping tool 🔧

Your videos are akin to a warm hug with no conditions. ❤

After decades of trying to get along, or fight, or make them listen, or ignore their behavior, I heard my mother say "I have to love you, but I don't have to like you." and that put a spotlight on our relationship my entire life, back to my first memories. I cut off contact almost 10 years ago, which stopped the direct wounding. But I know I'm the subject of her gossip and alienating me from the rest of my relatives. I've accepted this, and created a chosen family. Funny thing is, for a year before I stopped calling her I stopped telling her anything about me or my life. I just let her have the stage and chatter on without taking a pause to breathe. It was eye opening, and let me watch the process and made it easier for me to let go of the relationship. When I stopped calling, she never called me, again, showing me I was right. Therapy helps, but darn those scars run deep and I keep stumbling across them, feeling the same feelings when someone is gaslighting me or blaming me for something outside my control.

Thank you for this.Another lightbulb moment here.I appreciate your videos as they have helped me make more sense of what happened

Thank you for these videos. If only I could find a validating therapist like you in REAL life. I have spent SO much money in the past few years, and I’m wondering if it’s time to give up seeking outside professional help. I think maybe I just don’t live in a sophisticated enough area…there is so much validating info in the academic, literature, and KZfaq sphere, but the actual practitioners I can access are just not the same. I’ll keep watching your videos and try to do whatever work I can myself for now. ❤

This series is so relevant and helpful to me at this time in my life!! Thank you

Absolutely true. We feel we have to make everything right for others. Ps...... I LOVE that wallpaper behind you❤

When I was a child, I asked "mum, do you love me?" (the word love was considered stupid in our home). She said: "of course I love you, aren't parents supposed to love their children?", There was no smile, no hug. She looked annoyed.

My gosh how accurate and detailed have you described my relationships with my mom! I mean, _all_ of it fits with a satisfying click. Damn. I have some questions to ask her probably...

Thank you, I’m so glad to have found your channel

Oh wow, bingo. I did know that what my mom did was wrong, but it has taken me a long time to figure things out but this is me for sure, and she is still doing this. I could never do anything right. Even though I am aware of many things I am still in this at 57. Every part of this is bang on, thanks.

I took one of those family DNA tests to see if perhaps I was adopted. Now I realize that our true family means love and that means so much more than DNA! 😃❤️ Thankfully I have wonderful in-laws and friends and a church that I treasure now as family. The people I grew up with had a locked gate around them and I know now that I simply never had the right key.

This is quite fascinating.

This BREACH between mother and daughter is heartbreaking. LOVE is so deeply important. CONNECTION is so deeply important. This system is oppressive and damaging. Getting educated about patriarchy, misogyny and oppression to understand what we are up against and find compassion , is the path out of this. #DownWithPatriarchy. I am getting educated. I am shocked by what I have learned and DEEPLY SAD at what has been done to girls/womyn/mothers...by a system that used them. Let it begin with ME. I have one voice, one vote and I will reach to STOP punching down on HER, but learn and find compassion so SHE can heal...so I can HEAL. Maybe you will too. Love & Light & Education.

Man.... that was some information that resonated deep into my freaking soul...😳

I’m 55 years old my girl friend died of cancer lf God made anything better than a a woman He kept it all to Himself

Damn this is a good video. Hits home hard. Sounds like a mother wound borders on a narcissistic parent.

The video explains and confirms, the comments underneath are comforting as it's not just my experience.

Thank you for this video. It probably comes with no surprise, of how much damage a mother can inflict, whether intentional or not. My mother had a traumatic childhood and was a foster child in the 1930s and 1940s. As an adult, she had two failed marriages and a bad relationship between. She never finished high school. She had 5 children, all boys from her relationships, and I was the youngest and the only one that she kept and raised. The other 4 were given up and were subsequently put into foster care. At times, I've often times questioned if I was the "lucky one" She passed away over 20 years ago. I did and still love her in spite of our differences. I'm glad that she finely found peace .

Big facts here! 👍🏼❣️

This is 💯 my experience with my mother. It’s super messed up and discouraging. So tired of it. Loving and validating myself, focusing on my life. ❤

Some women don’t have mothering instincts. My aunt told me that some cows are very protective of their calves and some give birth and just keep walking. My mom has deep wounds from feeling unloved herself and I understand what drives her. Nevertheless, I took a 17-year break from her and it was good for me. She described it as the most painful thing that ever happened to her. As usual, it was all about her. But I’m OK now and I pray for her almost daily. My point is, cut the cord and make your life about you until you’re strong enough to deal with them again. Forgiveness is key. God bless.

Thank you. Yes to pretty much all of this for me 😢

I sent this to my youngest Daughter (I have 5 daughters) thinking that she would benefit from it but then I realized that I also benefited greatly~ My “real” mom and dad split when I was 18 months and I saw her once when I was 11 yrs old and never again until she passed (I felt absolutely no sadness)~ My dad remarried 4 times after that so I’m sure that I have some wounding~ Grateful for you and this channel~❤

Thank you!

Thanks Dr. Sage.

Yes. Best description I've heard. I had anxiety young. I then have to deal with grief from her suicide. So much to feel.

I have felt & lived by all the points you have mentioned in this video. I am now sixty years old & it has been only the last few years that I have finally realised that it was my mother that caused all these feelings & the rules I felt I had to live by, otherwise I wasn’t worthy or came up to her standards. She often told me she loved me but I often heard her say other things under her breathe to my detriment or she would reprimand me if I didn’t behave to her standards & ideals & so now at this point in my life I do wonder if she truly did love me to the extent I hoped & believed she did growing up. My mother passed away in 2015 & I feel there are a lot of unresolved issues within our relationship that are still lingering & so I can’t find any peace. I’m a very confused individual because of the way my mother related to me growing up & all throughout my life. Thank you Dr Sage for helping me to understand this condition further & reinstating what I thought was the truth all along 💐

Before I clicked on this video, I thought, no I probably have healed a lot from being wounded by my mother and I’m probably OK now and we have a decent relationship.… But I was very surprised when I realized I still check every single box on this list.

I love that wallpaper

Such valuable content. A small suggestion to improve quality...please get a better microphone to eliminate the echo sound. A small clip on.

I just happened across your video, but I think you might know me at my core. Lol! Thank you for helping to validate my feelings and I look forward to learning more. God bless. 🥰

I could so totally relate to everything said here. Its like you were reading my mind. Its not just me having these feelings and beliefs. (I could totally relate to the cat hairs in the mouth too.)

Oh..boy. Gaping, oozing wound!!

Wow, you did it again Dr. Sage. I totally relate to the mother who can’t be satisfied & is never grateful & the fact that we choose her over ourselves just to survive & feeling like we can’t survive without her even though it’s so painful. Now 21 years into my marriage & my husband who has great qualities but also reminds me so much of her has been diagnosed with cancer & I feel like I can’t survive without him. That feeling of codependency is so strong in our relationship, I’ve always been more attentive to his needs than he has to been to mine. He has a lack of empathy & compassion & I am an empath. Sometimes life just seems so unfair! I know there are many lessons to learn here & I hope i learn them & finally find peace. I hope the same for all of you!❤

My mother had exceptionally early onset dementia. She did the best she could. But I also have learned it caused me a lot of harm. Learning to mother myself & let my friends love me.

I could not believe I was hearing so many thoughts and fears I have had over the years put into words. My mother detested me. From an early age I was beaten with an electric cord till I was black and blue. Then at age 7 put in an orphanage till she married again and her new husband took me out so he could sexually abuse me. I was so terrified of him that it overcame my fear of her and I broke down and told her what was happening. She took his side and believed his denial. I was told to get out at the age of 14 and didn’t see or speak to her for nearly 30 years and only then because my husband insisted I should forgive her. After that I spoke on the phone to her maybe once or twice a year. I saw her one more time when she was on her death bed. I really wanted to have some kind of closure where we fell into each others arms and everything would be better. How wrong I was. When she saw me she screamed abuse at me and told me to get out she died shortly after. I don’t feel the slightest guilt that I didn’t shed a tear or feel grief. Thank you Dr Sage you are a healing influence in my life.❤❤❤

My mother's love was definitely conditional, and I have felt all my life that I was only good enough to be loved if I achieved at a high standard. But, starting from an early age, my reaction was anger. At one point, I didn't call her for 10 years. It has taken me over 70 years to learn how to deal with this in a positive way, and it still an ongoing process.

I was just browsing through KZfaq and at first glance, I thought this was Chelsea Handler. The title really threw me. Enlightening content.

Thank you

thank you

Forgiving my mother, and accepting she did the best she could, while having safe internal and external boundaries, knowing who I am in Christ has been key to my own healing.

Ty :)

Thank you ❤ This is exactly what I've had to go through. I'd receive compliments as a kid from people, then my mom would dismantle me. It continued til I went no contact last year. The spoiled lazy bratty kid got away with everything and blamed me for things I didn't do. My mom loves this child and approves of all of the malicious devious behavior. They team up against me. No matter what I did, it was never good enough for my mom. I needed to see this video. Thank you Dr. Sage ❤

I have mother wounds. I’m 60. A couple of years ago I found out that my mother has mother wound. Wow. 😮😢

Dam the title!!!😂😂😂 Had to watch it, been in no contact with my mother in 3 yrs and prior to that 5 years. Every time she comes back all she does it lie... Even my three son's dont want to know her and I even encouraged them to bond with her and she just did the same but with gifts to begin with and then nothing at all... Alive or gone, doesnt matter to me, she messed me up so much, all I attract in narcs... Cheers for that mother...😂😂😂 Staying stoic now.

Wish you could perhsps use a clip mic to improve audio. The room echo makes it a bit difficult to listen. Otherwise great videos.👍

Right away, @1:55 I can relate to all of this. I remember wondering about that when i was 5, and many times since. And the guilt was always there, too. I was told, within the past couple of years, "You were NEVER innocent," even though it was admitted that i would always tell the truth when i was small. Even if i knew that i was going to be punished and spanked hard. But the Golden Child was always "innocent," even when she maliciously lied, manipulated, bullied, (physically, knowing we couldn't hit back), thought herself entitled to anything we possessed, and appointed herself dictator over her siblings. Apparently honesty was not nearly so valued as I'd been led to believe. I lied, as a teenager, and once again, it became important. Unless the GC did it. Then "it doesn't matter."

Love hurts!!!!. Wow😮 ( oh by the way new. To your channel.) Thank you❤

My mother’s mother died suddenly on my 3rd birthday, and my mom hinted my entire childhood that it was somehow my fault. She never recovered from her mom’s death, and it was my fault. I knew mentally it wasn’t true but I felt bad about myself anyway.

My mother abandoned me when I was two yo and 70+ years later it still hurts. I blamed myself til I realized she left my 5yo brother too & he never did anything to deserve the cruelty. My dad got released from prison when I was 10. He rejected me too but I only wanted Mt fantasy mum.

I had a very loving mother who breastfed me as a premature baby in the early weeks of my life had to stop breastfeeding me and hand me back to the hospital nursery because of her family and health as I was the last born at 28 weeks in 1954 and I still carry this today

I (54 m) was born as the product of rape. My mother took her own life when i was 3 yrs old. This video really hit home.

I Get along with my Mother now, and, she did not hate me when I was growing up, BUT, she would every so often come out with "I love you, I just don't like what you do"? So, it was kind like saying, "I like the facade, but, I just don't like the Interior"? That always sort of hurt me inside! I was young and crazy!! Now she's in her 90's and "I try my hardest to help her with her life's conditions"! I've basically let everything go, just a little residue is still lingering!

My mother is a clever one. She has treated me very poorly and conditionally in the past, and continues to express her "I know better so do what I say" psychology to this day. I asserted myself and my boundaries, but it is a constant battle. I have had to shout at her and threaten to leave forever to get her compliance in giving me my freedoms back. But she has managed to leave a wound I don't know if will heal. She came between me and my romantic/sexual relationships.

I take EVERYTHING PERSONALLY.!! I'VE BEEN PEOPLE PLEASING ALL MY LIFE. I MAY NOT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. BUT I SURE AS HELL KNOW WHAT LOVE ISN'T. my mother is OVERT NARCISSISTIC.!!!!!!!

Most of us, not me. Like your video:)

My mom didn't even communicate with me. If she did it was just instructions. When I had friends over she paid attention to them my birthday parties (both of them) she made it about her. I didn't realize she didn't like me until her funeral 13 yrs ago, even though my therapist told me "your looking for your Dad & marrying your mother!" So solo I will be until I get my funeral ⚱️ I wish others would figure this out. The only people who come around want for me to give more & don't ask for return. So much like mother 😢

I forgave my mother but I never cared to have a relationship with her. She will always be the person you can not trust.

I grew up with my mother regularly saying, “I’ll always love you but I don’t like you”

Hi Kim, would you be able to do a video on how someone with CPTSD can cope with feeling hurt by their therapist? The emotional flashbacks that are triggered by ruptures in the client-therapist relationship are so painfully unbearable, and as a client myself I often feel like things will never get better when this happens.

My mother hated me. She never let me go out with other kids, I had to stay in the house to clean. She was a monster..... One would never know how she would wake up!!! . It was never enough with either parents.

💯 Percent !! 🙏🏻

I tired after no contact for many years many many years 5-10 years! I can’t continue with them anymore I tried and tried I have to work on my own life and child!!!❤

I relate to this so much! I always thought that I must've done some despicable atrocity in my previous life and that my mom could somehow sense it from the moment I was born. Oh man, she never told me a kind, warm, loving word, but did make sure to tell me many times how I looked like a chimpanzee when I was born, as well as that I resembled her in-laws whom she hated. I still can't figure how my parents managed to FORGET to by me milk formula knowing that my mother wouldn't nurse me. I spent my first night at home crying. Wonderful story...

Damn..... you pegged it...😢

Yes, my mother was never there for me and I was for her. I will never get. That approval because she is gone. I.became a nother myself in an abusive relationship and tried to protect my children and myself. I am divorced now and remarried.and children are grown.

I really don't know what I did wrong with my child, but she decided to cut the contact. I always supported her, told her how wonderful she is and I would always be there for her. I'm just not woke. I'm a wounded mother. How about that? I love to be her mother, but admittedly I had a problem with the influence of her narcistic father and I warned her not to become his flying monkey. I feel she became just that, I think. 😢

Jus want to ask I’ve been meditating and reflecting on myself lately. What kind of trauma or effects causes a mother that tells his son they want to kill them selves? I believe this will help me to understand some things

I did try confronting my mom many times, but she always denied or excused her behaviour. Sadly (my mom was BPD ) diagnosed later in her life...she was in her late 70s & never was able to progress or help herself. So of course I was her 'mother' from a very young age.

Care Take and People Please!!! My mother passed away almost 3 years ago and then my younger sister stepped into the role of treating me like my mom did. Conditions constantly being laid on me. It has been devastating. I stopped all contact with my sister three months ago. I am so hurt.

Well i definitely wondered if my dad liked me, even now honestly.

There are days when it is so clear to me, and then there are days when it's foggy and I question if I imagined it all. I mean, the dynamic between her and my sister is completely different and my sister doesn't remember the difference in treatment. I literally live 15 miles from my mother and only see her once a month for one weekend. I'm a pendulum of emotions ranging from being anxious and upset about perceptions of my treatment, feeling like I did the abuse, feeling terrible for avoiding her and moving out, feeling a bit of resentment for her laziness, and then feeling like she is old now, she's a baby, why aren't you taking care of her