Seconded, it was so emotionally devastating, and felt so realistic, in that we've all said words that we don't mean to our loved ones, but the damage has already been done.

@Charlotte T You talking about John Boyega?

@Charlotte T You would antagonize the "fans" too if they were a bunch of racists twats complaining about your skin color

@Charlotte T What happened with Finn’s actor?

​@@astrocake584 he made a sexist joke and then called the people calling him out racist

i started shaking and crying because my ptsd from my parents fighting was way too out of control lol

I had the exact same feeling!

Same 😭

It reminded me of my ex so much I cried

It really is basically a documentation of a devastating story in many, many peoples lives

I was never allowed to cool down in my marriage. I'd begin serious fight or flight, from childhood trauma, and he wouldn't let me go where I could cool off. He even broke my arm one time because I was trying to leave. The next guy would also take my phone and throw me around when I wanted to leave. Poor low-self-esteem me kept going back until the straw broke on both of those. Good on you that you can keep your anger in check...it's a very good ability!!! I am getting better, because I now care for my dad who is not physically abusive but very emotionally/verbally abusive and I sometimes lose it. I had vowed to always stand up for myself, and it just doesn't work with some people. He just knows how to get me sooooo riled up! And then goes condescending because he doesn't raise his voice. Like being a condescending, insulting d is fine. Oh, sorry....got into rant mode!!! Blessings....

For the rest of her life, she will be living in a world where the father of her child said TO HER FACE that he wishes she would die. Nobody’s anger is worth hurting anyone this fundamentally, permanently, forever. Who do you think you are?! Anger is not a gift; anger can be a tool, but it always comes from a place of hurt that does not need to be spread.

Its very important to watch what you say because most people (including me) would have immediately left when he said that. To me it almost sounded like a threat. And I'm not gonna tolerate that and I'm not gonna let my kid be with someone who threatened me.

I used to be completely the other way around. Drained by the intensity and sadness of the fight, I would always wish that I were dead. ☹️ Just like they say, to escape, to have it be over. I'm not in that place anymore mentally.

@@csillaritas I completely understand, and I'm glad you are no longer in that place. It's a horrible place to be.

Thank you for sharing your story and giving us a glimmer of hope

*I always find a plan and she always finds the bright side." that's hella beautiful

That's great, thank you for sharing. Stay grateful to one another. 💜

Aw that's beautiful 💗 you broke the cycle there my friend!

The only way to end abuse is for someone to say “it stops with me.” I’m glad that you were the one in your family to finally say that, and move forward in that conviction. That’s real strength.

It's a classic caretaker but also enabler move. She's the mom, so he gets to stay a child. The film ends the same way, when she kneels down to tie his shoe for him! Omg. No wonder she had to get away from him! Not only b/c he's a narcissist, but b/c just being around him a little, she would always be back in the same patterns. I wonder what it would ever be like for the divorced couple when she finally fades out of those moves. Probably he would already have found another caretaker wife by then .....

Yeah, I saw it that way too.. because I've been in that position with an ex several years ago. But it wasn't because of a love that was so deep behind the hate, it was more of a fear of worse retaliation or risk of my safety if I didn't "play the forgiving type"... Not saying that it's the same for this here, but it was painful for me to watch.

My ex slapped me across the face one time I didn't want him to touch me, he was on top of me and I started crying but he continued slapping me really hard. He then snapped out of it and got so upset seeing me crawling away from him in fear, he also started crying. And then, I was the one who ended up apologizing (?) and comforting him. It's been six years from that event, I'm 26 now and I can't believe I ever let that happen to me. At least I'm not in that relationship/headspace anymore.

@@eurekamreum5458 I'm so sorry you went through that. looking back I too think, how the hell did I put up with that? It's easy to say how you'd deal with something when it's not happening to you. But then survival kicks in, or even just being with someone so manipulative you can't see the situation objectively.. it's hard. I'm glad you got out of it!

He said some awful stuff in anger, but did he really ever abuse her?

You both built a healthy relationship and you now get to enjoy it's nurture and comfort. Well done!

You are in the advanced roommate stage. It gets worse.

@@benjamindover4337 think jono would disagree...or perhaps maybe SOMETIMES it gets worse, but it doesn't HAVE to. :/

That's so awesome! I'm glad you guys have clear boundaries and respect each other!

I'm tearing up?? This is beautiful. This is what love is.

I think sometimes disentangle the relationship is the best thing for both of the partners too? Just based on observing my parents' relationship, I'd say that often people get married without really knowing the depth of each others' issues... and if one or even both partners just aren't willing to address those issues, or aren't able to change, their wellbeing may be best served by a move to separate lives and drawing clear boundaries.

Yes. This. Me and my ex husband are great as friends. Our friendship is important. We tried staying for our kids, but ultimately had to get a divorce. The best part was or at least the weight that was on my shoulder was the kids telling me they are ok with us not being together, that we needed to divorce. I didn’t think they would feel this way, I thought they would be broken, but they was definitely okay with this. I also thought I did a good job with keeping them away from our issues, but they knew about it all along. Now that I do feel bad for.

One of my many highschool physics teacher once said to us 'Why do relationships fail, even if they were perfectly functional before? Its because of the children they have to raise' And i feel like that applies a lot to the real world

@@nemtudom5074 I think that's true to a degree. Many couples go into a relationship and commit because they have a good time together. Once the hard stuff starts, they realize neither of them are equipped to participate with one another in tackling the issues in the manner in which they need. Maybe there are lots of couples who plan on having children but don't prepare their relationship for it, or don't go in to the relationship thinking, "would they be a good parent to our child, what does it look like when they work together with me?" etc. At least that's my theory. I would only disagree with your Physics teacher on the account that, depending on the tone, it could sound like they blame the existence of children for the problems of the couple. That's... just wrong. These kids didn't ask to be born and too many people these days feel like they are "mistakes", and you should never put the burden or responsibility of your relationship on your child. You should never count on their behaviour to determine the wellbeing of your relationship. That is wrong. We are all just trying to get by on this earth. No way can you plant your problems on the new arrivals of this planet. We are meant to make the burden of this life easier on each other, even our children. That's what it should really mean to "prepare" your child "for the real world".

@@mariastephens1827 While i agree that we shouldnt blame the children, i dont think he was blaming them. I think he was talking about them as more of an event which's consequences they didnt account for I understand how a retelling of a story may be misleading

Based dad

That’s actually really sweet!

🥺 that's awesome

If you can stay friends after a divorce you shouldn't get divorced, especially if you have kids

@@radhiadeedou8286 bad take. relationships are complicated and nuanced. what makes a pair of people great friends does not make them great romantic partners, sex partners, coworkers, roommates, business partners, etc. A marriage relationship can intersect with a lot of these types of relationships, including friendship, but they don't have to, nor does marriage have to be involved at all. It is very dependent on the people and their ability to work together. Speaking as the kid myself with divorced parents who still can talk for an hour on the phone to one another in a friendly way, this was absolutely the best scenario for my family. I haven't met a divorced-parents child who grew up to feel anything but relief about the divorce ending.

But it's a good cry, not a bad one, right? I mean who didn't have tears in their eyes at the very end?

For those of us who only knew this movie through the meme.

Alan's tears are contagious. I didn't cry watching the movie. But here I am crying with Alan.

Feel you 😭😂

@@YOUaskedFORdeath I'm not a crying man, not because I'm stoic or don't feel things, I just don't cry. But I can't see a tear in someone else's eyes that my own start watering. Heck, by simply writing this comment they already started.

Hell yes. The second one is so beautiful in so many ways

The second one had always been my favorite

Yess, the second is just an all time favorite gem! Pls react its too amazing not to

I just watched Kung Fu panda 2 after having a death in the family and it really was nice to see!

that trilogy is the best

Wow, that sounds like a miserable marriage.

Your English is very good, and thank you for this interesting comment. I learned from it. I was born in 1958, too.

Or they could've made an effort and fought to make their marriage work

Oh Gabriele, I am so sorry for you and your sister that you had to see this growing up and I'm sorry your parents couldn't talk out their expectations for their marriage. I hope you have found joy in your life.

@@radhiadeedou8286 The fact they didn't is the story.

That counselor saved you unnecessary counseling and money.

When men have most of the power in the marriage dynamic they will NOT listen or take you seriously until it's too late to heal the damage.

Typical marriage counseling isn’t therapy to help couples it’s a conspiracy to get two women. One of them can dazzle with nonsense credentials to bully a man to give the first woman what she wants.

Lord I took my separated husband to counseling with the sole intention of helping our kids through it. The counselor was convinced we still wanted to be together. Oh hell no. Found out he was cheating. Later found out he was throughout our marriage. But even before that I lost my respect for him for so many reasons. I remember the counselor asking him why he didn’t help with the kids and chores and he told her “because she told me to.” I was already done and we left counseling because she wanted us to get back together. We had tried marriage counseling over the years but when you’re the only one invested it ain’t gonna work. Glad your counselor saw through it

Did you try any theory during that year. Did you try anything else to get through to your husband or did you just keep making the same argument over and over? I'm convinced women have no idea how to communicate to a man so many times we hear this same story out of women

Divorce court can be a long, costly, and difficult process. But if one side can prove infidelity of the other it makes the process much more straightforward and it's much easier to get a property settlement and alimony. I think the reason they made that comment is because of how quickly the lawyer started advocating for divorce once she knew it was a slam dunk case and easy money.

Agreed. My parents were friends with a married couple that was going through tough times and they struggled to remain friends with both of them, but when they learned that the husband had cheated on the wife they were pretty much obligated to "side" with the wife and stop hanging out with the husband. So, I read that character's reaction as something similar to that: Someone who thought she was listening to a more complex issue that suddenly got a lot more black and white.

I agree with the others who commented that yes, it was a lawyer's brain but also yes, it was a real empathetic moment for her as a woman. It is possible to sue for divorce and get a more favorable settlement when there has been infidelity, because it's technically a breach of marriage contract. It's also far more dangerous to the kids than other kinds of problems, because of potential loss of parental attention, resources, protection, etc if one parent gets invested outside the family

I really like that she mentioned the cheating at the very end. Like it wasn't even the biggest reason she wanted a divorce. All the other stuff was truly what was hurtful and irreparable.

@@TheEvilCommenter Not in all jurisdiction, the court didn't care that my exwife was cheating.

Well, that sounds pretty healthy. Good for you guy! Can't say it would make for an award-winning film, but you can try

Ew, thats so disgusting that they just automatically assumed you would be in charge of that.

When my dad was planning his wedding, he wanted to be involved in the process and the planner helping him out refused to message him back. If his wife wasn't in the room she wouldn't talk to him, even though he had planned all of his last wedding too (the divorce was that she had stopped loving him, not the other way around too, he'd been doing nothing wrong). She just ignored the idea that he would want to partake at all.

@@leonineKelter 😲

Lots of love and strength to you 💛

Better things are waiting for you if only peace of mind. Best wishes.

You'll make it. You'll both make it.

Wishing you healing.

You will get through this, both of you. This is just one bad moment in your life. It won’t be like this forever.

That was so beautifully put

Try being friends with a man first and having those all night talks that dive deep before you allow your heart to get involved. My husband and I have been married for 17 years and we have always had our friendship that held us together when our relationship had difficult periods.

@@Shellnbaby people are used to instant gratification. Attentive, listening men are an exception rather than the norm. It's fine though. I'm more content in life than I ever was and I'm actually quite close to the future I envisioned. We can't all have a prince charming and there's no harm in that. I'm stunned at the amount of likes my comment got tho :O

I'm both of them, unfortunately. I don't know how I manage it but I am

From seeing the older relationships within my family and friends, I'd say most of them were pretty heavily influenced by societal & sometimes religious expectations around premarital chastity, male authority, amatonormativity (cf Tara Mooknee's great vid), and so on, not just by attraction or liking each other? I get the feeling many of the older couples were very mutually attracted, but maybe didn't necessarily know each other's issues in great depth before they married... and that the women in particular were conditioned to put up with a LOT from their partners later on once those issues came to light! It seems as if the old pre-modern expectation that you'd get to know each other AFTER you made such huge commitments, not before, really hung on into the modern era for a LONG time...? Not sure whether it still persists in modern relationships though, where the levels of commitment can be much more gradual and also less inescapable. I think some people do still jump tight in based on sex, but might not be QUITE so socially pressured to rush things? Would be interested in others' perspectives there!

Absolutely!

And Ray Liotta. RIP

My relationship to both my parents got so much better after their divorce.

Yeah, it's kinda bizarre this video came out today because I had a long time friend that I was kinda close with start treating me poorly these past couple months, and it's frustrating because I really do care about him. Love-hate relationships are so fuckin' hard, ya know?

@@mischiefofrats sorry to hear that, I know it’s not easy. I’ve had a relationship with a friend change over the past couple of months as well.

@@AgentK200 damn, hope things get better for you!

This exactly, I almost started sobbing cuz while I feel way better after getting cheated on and dumped by my ex over a year ago, the memories and what we had, what he used to be before he cheated on me, I miss that person. I grieve not just the romantic relationship we had, but our friendship (as we were friends before dating). Sometimes it hurts so much, but nowadays I find myself being able to look to the future and feeling fine. It's a rollercoaster to say the least.

I ended a friendship with my best friend of almost 10 years (since middle school) the summer I turned 22, right before I entered grad school that fall. I had always been his support system because his mom was crazy and horrible to him but when he got beaten out by this person that sang better than he did at a competition, she wrote this huge Facebook post on the competition's page bad mouthing them. He was embarrassed by his mom's actions (she was famous for drunkenly embarrassing him on a regular basis) so I encouraged his mom to take a break and handle the situation more tomorrow (it was like 10 pm) and my friend hated that I didn't support him as much as his mom did. He chose his mom who was absent most of his life as a single parent who finally stood up for him in a psychotic break moment once in his life and easily cast me to the side, eventually demanding I apologize to his mom or he'd end our friendship. SO...I blocked him on Facebook after that and we ended all communication for years until crossing paths, being civilized, and eventually refollowing on Facebook. After the friendship end I went through all the grief, thankfully this was after my birthday and I had month to recover before starting grad school. Still hurt because I lost a lot of mutual friends in that ending of friendship.

Honestly I don’t know a single person my age (late teens, early twenties) who’s parents AREN’T divorced. It’s so sad to see so many people affected by the same kind of pain.

@@Trigger__Happy sad I don't know anyone personally who is divorced

@@TheMisslili8 same but only bc its deeply frowned upon in my community and viewed as a "white people" issue (not even kidding :/)

@@tcrijwanachoudhury ironic considering the rates of fatherless homes in the black community is higher than any other community in the world. Which is awful and I can’t say I know why that is, but it’s just a fact.

@@TheMisslili8 Are the couples happy together?

The only thing I didn’t like about the movie was the rebound she ended up with, I’m definitely bias though😂

Yes, even the way they breathed was scripted. Very intense $#!+

Wow!!!

I really enjoyed their segment. They've known each other for years (I think six movies together) and are really comfortable with each other.

The heart is a muscle, and when you work a muscle out it tears and you become very sore. Then the muscle builds up in between the tears and heals itself and becomes stronger. Obviously heartbreak is not a physical break, but ethereal things really aren't so different.

Describing it as a fight scene is 100% accurate, which is hilarious because it was not what just about any other movie would call a fight scene. There was choreography and blows being struck, just none that were physical

Any tips for some of us who may want to look for a good couple's counsellor?

@@RachelPun If you’re a heterosexual couple, get a male counselor (as long you or your female partner is indifferent with gender). Oftentimes, and this isn’t on purpose, but a lot of men don’t feel safe opening up in therapy sessions about their relationship when they feel that there is already gendered confirmation bias. This goes for women and queer couples too, get a counselor that you both feel safe with, not someone who you’re forced to be vulnerable with one a week to satisfy someone else.

Well sometimes their technique or whatever they tried, it just doesn't work. I'm sure Jonathon has have sessions where he just failed at the start as well.

YESS!! I just finished re reading the book for the upteenth time and it would be so interesting for them to cover the movie. BTW, for any fellow audiobook listeners, the Gone Girl edition on Audible has really cool “deleted scenes”, mostly from Amy’s perspective, that go way deeper into her childhood and what may have made her the way she is. It was super interesting; highly recommend!

I’m a firm believer that people only say things if they mean it, even if it’s just on some tiny subconscious level.

@@TofuTeo not really because then you would mean a lot of things. Lots of things goes into our minds and we may have hidden desires inside us that we don't even know about. Jono said it right, he doesnt actually want her to die, but if she were to really die he would never be able to live with himself just as much as he would if he didn't say or maybe even worst because he did say it.

I took it as he broke down because he is realizing that she is right but can't admit it.

@@TofuTeo But would you make a difference between thinking things and saying things? Because sometimes, when I'm angry at my boyfriend, I think pretty mean things. And I never ever want to say those things out loud and until now I managed not to do so. Because I know that those things would hurt him deeply and it wouldn't be fair to say them because I would mean them in the moment but I don't mean them generally. As those are things that are kinda true but my perception of them changes. So, normally I'm like "that's okay" or "that's not ideal but when we both put effort in to solve certain situations it's no problem" or even "that's cute" - and in those moments I'm like "I *hate* this!". I would say, feelings are always true. But what they turn your thoughts into is only true in this moment and it's pretty impossible to communicate that right. You would never say "I hate this right now, later on it'll be okay and in general it isn't a problem for me, so don't worry about it but I just wanted to tell you that in this moment right now I hate it!". And if you would make a difference between thinking and saying things, then people who are more self-controlled or reflected would be totally different from people who are not. I don't think that's the case.

Just like what Jono said, I think he meant it more in the sense of "I meant it when I was pissed and was thinking in a flight or fight way, completely throwing rationality away and dealing in absolutes, but I didn't once I calmed down and realized what I did/said" I had moments when I did and said things out of anger that I didn't truly wish or mean, they just popped up in my head as the argument escalated and my brain kept feeling the rush of anger and adrenaline.

Yes!!!!

Ditto!!

Waymond was the heart of the movie. Also shout out to Ke Huy Quan. We missed you, buddy!

Yes yes, thank you for the suggestion.

Yes!!! I would so enjoy that!

This movie is the reason I coparent well with my ex because I was Johansen in the movie I wanted to take my anger out in court against him for being an absent father for betraying me but this hit me in the feels it made me want to reconcile with him but so far just do coparenting and I’m at peace with that that he’s in her life, he supports now financially, and we can finally talk, and thats more than enough for now we’re not going through a nasty court battle our child is happy

@@melaniemelanin This is really nice to hear. I'm sorry and happy for you. It's all so messy and scary. I wish nothing but the least amount of pain and misery for my wife. And I really worry how our decisions might affect our sons.

​@@davethenerd42I've never been married and I'm not sure what you decided, but if you're still undecided I want to tell you that my parents had a problematic marriage for almost 10 years where one was very selfish and unhappy and the other worked themself to death and did everything and didn't stnad up for themself. And I as an older kid in it lived in a household that was pretty unharmonious and it was awful. They were close to a divorce when my last sibling graduated high school, and both me and my older brother wanted rhem to divorce (I also wanted no relationship with one of my parents). It was a long story of multiple people calling the one parent out, a lot of people working to repair relationships. It came down to not only me deciding to forgive my parent, but my parent also really wanting that relationship, and my other parent kept encouraging and talking with us about the importance of being in each other's lives. I never could have predicted the relationships we have now. My parents are now happily married for the first time since I was a little kid. I used to truly wonder why they got married, and just thought they must have been incompatible. I'm saying this because if my parents would have thrown in the towel at any point when most people would have, they wouldn't be married today. I'm grateful neither of them did what me and my older brother wanted and encouraged. If you'te not divorced yet, just think about your marriage in 20 years, if that marriage in 20 years is worth waiting for and working for. Maybe it isn't because of circumstances only you know, but maybe it is and you guys can remember that there is a lot of hope and a lot of life that might be waiting to be reborn.

@@emily43210 so, I came home from deployment in December and she filed for divorce. She pretended like she didn't, and acted like everything was normal. She gaslit me any time I would ask if something is going on. It went until I had a letter in the mail from a local lawyer asking if I needed legal representation due to a recent case filed with my name on it, and had the petition filed by her printed out. Over the past six months she has lied and been manipulative and done some.pretty disgusting things I never thought would ever be possible coming from her. It's been a living nightmare. Hard to sum up here. The past six months feel like years. I'm diagnosed with PTSD from relationship abuse. I'm learning a lot but I see a lot of work over the next few years to get better. I want the best for her but she's just in a constant state of world war 3. I just can't do it any more. The more time away from her I have the healthier I get. That's the most telling thing for me that our split is absolutely the right thing, for me and for my kids, and for her as well. It would have been possible to save our marriage, but the two of us couldn't do it, and I couldn't do it by myself.

I felt the same way. I'm sorry you experienced that. 🫂❤️

Thanks for the warning! This is one of the reasons why I haven't & probably won't watch this movie.

@@TheCuddlebun I really liked the movie but that reason only watched it once I don't think I'm gonna re-watch it either

I'm sorry you went through that.

“Shatter my knees, you fuckable redwood” If you know, you know 😏

@@kawaiisolemia Oh we know. _Biblically_

Awesome story :D

YES!! i love this movie, absolutely recommend

Yes, please, it's such a treat of a film, and I hope that they cover it, as well as "Song of the Sea", another Irish film.

@@trinaq Also 'Song of the Sea' and 'Wolfwalkers' have the same creators. And both talk about emotions a lot. 'Song of the Sea' shows not to bottle up emotions, that acceptance is better. 'Wolfwalkers' shows that letting emotions overpower you and letting them to cloud your judgement isn't good either. Also both movies talk about parenting. It would be great if our dads would analyse them!

@@trinaq by the same studio no less

Yes! Would love to see them react to that

i think the closest to that that i've experienced is my first boyfriend. when we broke up i DID still want him in my life, i didn't want to break up at all and i still feel like he was the best i ever had. but after we broke up he changed, he went from an absolute nerd to a hard-drinking frat bro and i definitely did not want that in my life. i guess i still love who he was when we were together, but i don't want who he became in my life.

Even if it's a really different situation and I don't want to compare our problems I can totally understand what you mean. My ex best friend is still one of the person I love the most in this entire world, even though she made me suffer a lot, lied to me, manipulated me and minimised my traumas. She wasn't an evil person, she was just lost and fucked up and I payed the consequences of that. And I still love her so mutch... (sorry for my English I'm not fluent)

I have had the opposite reaction. People were constantly guilt tripping me and enabling my mother, but the last time she went off the rails, I refused to be complicit. No matter how guilty someone tries to make me feel, I don't miss her or feel any empathy or love for her. I think it's hard for people to understand but I know that I made the decision that was best for myself and that my feelings are valid.

@Blood Eyes I understand what you are saying. Have a similar experience/story with my mother.

It sounds like you might get a lot from Jennette McCurdy's memoir "I'm Glad My Mom Died" and the couple of interviews she did about the subject matter of it

I remember when I was a kid. I hated Pierce Bronson’s character because I thought he was trying to weasel his way into the family. As an adult, I felt really bad about what Stewart went through. He really liked Miranda and her kids, even though he’s somebody that wouldn’t normally date mothers. We don’t even know if he continued to see Miranda after what happened.

People weren’t meant to spend every hour of every day in the same house :) I think the quarantine really made a lot of people rethink what marriage needs to be, for the better

Well one of you obviously cheated, if the one who didn't stays then they'd an idiot.

This stranger on the internet wishes you two the best outcome for you both, whatever outcome that may end up being.

Hey man- Nice sentiment. Don’t know which of you slept/flirted/hung out with a 3rd party but can guess. Regardless- red flag for the female in your life- is not a lot of consideration for what HER hopes and dreams for herself and her future are? Selflessness starts with not assuming you and her have same expectations of therapy and its results. Therapy is about self revelation which hopefully moves you towards being a better partner. Mutually. Its very hard to live with someone who cannot see or own their flaws. Good luck maybe it will work out. Maybe it won’t. Start with listening to what she wants, hopes and dreams without your own getting in the way. THEN decide if yours match up. You know what you want think and feel. But do you really know hers? I’d be looking for someone who says- “We are going to therapy. Im gonna park what I need at the door for now. And go in to really understand what my partner is saying. If both parties can do there’s definitely middle ground to find. There will be space for your wants. Once you understand what she needs from you and not what you want from her most of the time. It’s exhausting meeting somebody else’s expectations the majority of the time. But my own experience from being on the other-side of hearing a man express almost exclusively what he hopes and needs without even realising how it sounds to her. - Doesn’t end well. Its a journey in self growth and releasing the ego to really hear and understand what she is telling you she needs. Recalibrate your mindset towards love being a relationship of selflessness. If both parties want whats best for the other person together- thats where successful relationships achieve real respect and calmness. Wish you well. Hoping you both achieve something from it. Even if its not the outcome you expect. Outcomes are a result of the choices we make in how we treat others and ourselves without putting ourselves first. If you both do that equally it’s a beautiful road. Cheers

I feel the exact same way.

I watch these videos instead of the actual movie. There's no way I could handle this movie.

Wow I thought I was the only one. Your entire comment is eerily similar to what I was thinking

Yeah...as a child of divorce (dad's fault) who had a dad who dived directly back into another rocky relationship that led to a lot of arguments as well, there are certain media depictions where the arguments feel too real and you just NOPE right the hell out.

I get it, it is a lot to handle emotionally. Really ripped me up and brought up a lot of trauma. But really the worst was shown here. Watching them heal and become coparents is wonderful. Incredible film.

That’s a good way to look at it. Her lawyer even bargained for extra days (even though Nicole didn’t ask for them.)

@@frozenheart7133 You did what I wish I had. I was such a strong single person, I miss it, I miss me. Stay true to yourself.

Dated a guy just like this. I felt like I was a bad person for years after breaking it of cause I couldn't ever give enough. Now I'm finally so grateful to not have have married him.

@Ashleycj Is there a reason you can't file yourself?

A bit of similar situation, he also falsely accused me of things in order to get child custody. He continues generating violence to ne and our children and yet courts favor him. Also the fact that i am in another country with no support net makes it harder.

Yes, please!!!

YES PLEASE

Absolutely

Relationship goals.

amazing suggestion!!

Glad you liked it!

Oh yes, that would be absolutely perfect, or they'd could also look at Ash and her struggle with moving on from her cheating ex boyfriend.

@@trinaq honestly all the characters have good arcs to look at, like the pig mom figuring out how to juggle being a mom with doing things that bring her happiness

I think all the characters can be analyzed. Even Mike the narcissistic Mouse.

It's such an illumination calibrated arc though.

YES!!!!!!! I second this!!! Please!!!!!!!

Yes please do this! I love the first two parts and have seen them way too many times for it to be healthy anymore. The third one I've only seen once. Not because it's bad, I think it's absolutely brilliant and feels way too real. It just left me so emotionally drained that I've not felt up to it again. My current relationship is closest to Before Sunrise and Sunset that I can imagine possible in real life, and I'm sometimes almost superstitiously afraid of us getting to the Midnight phase with huge fights and not talking anymore. Even though the movie still has a happy ending, I want to avoid that level of drama. Never had a fear of that in previous relationships, but then again I never felt this connected to my exes in the first place, or this invested.

Yessss

Yes!

No. Everyone does not get divorced, and the kids are not fine. Unless the parents are actually abusive to one another (which, to be fair, it does sound like your parents might have been), divorce is not better. They've done studies on children of divorce, and it acts as trauma that actually never goes away. People in their sixties were still not over their parents' divorce. I will also say that you're making an assumption that your parents would lead separate healthy lives without one another. While that is possible, it's actually more likely that they would have taken their unhealthy habits with them and created two toxic homes, between which you would have constantly felt split and had the added trauma of the divorce. I certainly don't deny that your home life as it was sounds like it was unhealthy and damaging for your emotional and mental health, but I would caution you from assuming that it would have been better had your parents divorced. People always think that it could not possibly have been worse than it was, and they're usually wrong. It can always be worse.

@@orthodoxcatholicsakuraPretty hypocritical that you bring up assumptions when you yourself are making many. And judging by many other comments on this vid a lot of people lead happier lives after their parents divorced.

@@dafuzzbear7711 Because I do not know grayonthewater or grayonthewater's particular situation, I tried to allow for many possibilities when addressing grayonthewater. What assumptions do you think I am making? This issue obviously hits me on an emotional level, so I will admit that it is very likely I am not seeing my comments completely objectively. If you do see assumptions that I am making, please do point them out; I would appreciate it.

I think you make a very good point re: "...a miserable hateful marriage, think about the example that sets for the kids' future relationships." Kids need to see a good relationship modeled for them. Also, miserable couples who stay together "for the kids" may have good intentions, but they seem to not realize that (1) kids pick up on everything, and they'll know you're miserable, and (2) it can lead to the kids later feeling lots of guilt, as in "They stayed miserable, for me." Ugh. That's a huge weight for a kid to bear. And they may internalize the issue and blame themselves for the fact that their parents are/were miserable.

​@orthodoxcatholicsakura Divorce is traumatic for kids because it's a major life changing event yes, but having a toxic marriage can hurt the kids much more than the divorce can. Because it can foster unhealthy dynamics the kids learn from and they not even KNOW it's wrong. They'll think it's acceptable for your partner to yreat you like garbage or abuse you because A: "my parents were the same and they stayed together" or B: " this isn't so bad because my parents did so much worse".

If he is truly an Aspie, he would have physical sensory issues that can be desensitized in a stepwise manner with a therapist. Difficulty understanding his own inner feelings and communicating it can be addressed by a therapist familiar with Asperger.

@@0LOTR he could be touch averse for a multitude of reasons, including trauma or being a sex-repulsed ace. don't armchair diagnose someone with a treatment that might be harmful to them.

goodnes new moon, get thyself to a therapist who really knows Aspergers. Your husband needs it too, if he can be reached.

@@0LOTR He went to individual therapy for years with a therapist recommended by his psychiatrist older sister. He never shared anything about it with me, though.

@@58209 The only trauma I know of is that his mom died of cancer when he was 14, but in therapy he said he didn't like to be touched by anyone, including his mom, since he could remember. So it's beyond sex. I didn't diagnose; his sister did. She's 12 years older than he is, and acted as a surrogate mom in many ways. Interestingly, though, he does love cuddling the cat we adopted, who was a stray that turned up at the home of one of his coworkers. He buries his face in Peachy's tummy fur.

Thank you for catching that. I will say this episode focused more on Charlie's defects than Nicole's.

I'm just replying to bump this comment up

Totally. Plus. The end was so bad for him. If the marriage was a partnership, the divorce wouldn’t have been so cruel.

@@shreeyasingh8948 Facts.

My problem with nicole is that she just kept everything in and never voiced any of her actual opinions feelings or wants until she bottled it up and exploded under the pressure. Of course your parnters voice is the only one being heard when you never want to say your own opinion

...Thanks for sharing, man. I really needed to hear that. I went through a similar thing, but obviously the details were different. I don't know if he was addicted to porn or not, but I was flat out ghosted and never heard from him again. The vitriol arguments were all ones that I had in my head, as I never had a physical face to talk to. I would have given anything in the world to hear him say the things you said and take accountability for his actions at all. So, thank you. I needed that today.

@@the_piano_nerd4960 it's so sad that one has to actually leave to get the change from one's partner.

"current porn addiction"? Bruh...

I am the girl in my own situation. You don't know how much I needed to hear this. This felt like him apologizing for all that he put me through. He blamed it all on me, and I wish he would say sorry to me, but he won't.

@@sarahtobore2832 dont be a dick. a porn addiction is incredibly difficult to overcome and most people don’t even try.

SAAMMMEEE I waited so long for this and was not disappointed!

No more suffering. It's here! 😄

Yes. agree. The film upset me so much and I thought of Cinema Therapy and hoped they'd cover it. Thank you guys.

Did we watch the same movie?

It is a love Story. Just not the kind that is usually portayed. It shows how much daulity lies withing human beings

Yeah a lot of times people are only as bad as they get cause they have so much enabling them to stay in that bad space. They never hit bottom and are forced to change. It’s still there fault though. Not the people who enabled them.

@@MylesKillis Yeah, this is what I was thinking. What would have happened if the wife had set boundaries right from the beginning about how much she was willing to sacrifice for her husband's ambitions? There's no guarantee he would have taken it well, but it might have saved her from falling into this state of quiet, simmering resentment. That said, it's just so hard to set those boundaries as a woman, especially when you're young, so I don't blame her for not knowing how. It's one of those things you only learn with enough life experience.

That's exactly what this channel did, paint the man as more of the issue

That movie stills haunts me...how could they?!

Dope acting in that film as well

Oh God, that movie is devastating.

Coming SO SOON.

@@CinemaTherapyShow I am excited for that one. Arcane was amazing and I really want to know what's going on in Jinx's head. Thank you for that one

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/Z8ecechkkqnLfaM.html its here! the arcane video

Didn't she say something along the lines of "you're acting just like your father"? I feel that contextually, that's different. If he dislikes his father and he's acting in a way that reflects those characteristics, it very well could have been her trying to point that out so he could do better and not set on the path his father would have set for him by example. Of course, I've never seen that done successfully because it's taken exactly as you said it "you're just like your father" and then the walls are up and he's defensive. She definitely could have said it better, and maybe she did mean it maliciously, but that was my interpretation.

*"You are being so much like your father" The diference is one it's the actions, in the other it is all of you. (The fight started way before this, it wasn't the first thing, but she still shouldn't have said it.)

@@XxMusicxKelseyxX I feel like it would have been better if she addresses the behavior specifically instead of attributing it to his father which she probably knew would make him hurt and act defensively

Exactly. There is a line in her letter to Charlie (a line he later glosses over when reading it to his son) about how there was a lot of alcohol and violence in his childhood, which in this context we can ascribe to his father. To throw that out in an argument, to compare someone to their parent who is a drunken physical and emotional abuser completely discounts any emotion he may be feeling as irrational and paints him as just as much of an abuser as his father. Charlie had every right to be heated about that comparison. It reminds me of a Fiona Apple lyric... "a conversation once colored by esteem became dialogue as a diagram of a play for blood". She knew how deep it would cut, knew what his reaction would be, and then plays the rational party when he responds in kind.

That's awesome that you guys did the work and fixed the issues. Congratulations