Boredom in a relationship is usually just security that you forgot that you asked for. As humans we adjust quickly and forget how much we wanted something that we now have.

I like seeing long successful childfree relationships, gives me hope for the future.

When we got married, my husband and I were very poor, coming from poor families. We built our lives and careers while we improved our knowledge, manners and personalities. 21 years later, we have evolved to be successful, kind and prosperous people, never having lost our love and companionship. We didn't have children and rely on each other for many things. The secret is never stop growing.

HAPPY. ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!! Loved hearing every minute of your beautiful story. At 73, I found the best man I could ever want. We are the same age, from the same city, similar education, both have grown children and both have grandchildren, love each other's family, and do spend all of every day together. We are married for 10 years, which we did originally only to be each other's medical proxy, but soon realized calling each other girlfriend and boyfriend at our age was not that great. We like being husband and wife. I was single for 26 years before we found each other so it was not easy for me to be part of a couple again, but it turned out to be the best life for both of us. We will be 85 this summer and we hope we last together for more happy years.

My wife and I are on our 17th year of marriage, going on 18 this September. I do think that not having (human) kids is definitely a part of our happy longevity. If you choose to have children, they will necessarily become your priority in the relationship; without them you prioritize each other. We have also done business together (restaurants, my wife's a chef!) and loved the collaboration. We really don't fight, and we love talking to each other/hanging out. We are soulmates!

As someone who's been single my entire life, I honestly can't fathom people who imagine themselves missing singledom and wanting to find out what that's like. I find being single to be exhausting and not much of a good thing. I truly can't imagine a bigger blessing than finding your "person" at a young age and getting to "do life" with them for as long as possible. I'm in my 30s and when everyone else is paired up, you look around and realize that life isn't meant to be lived alone. I think humans are supposed to be like trees - they look solitary above ground, but in the soil they are growing extensive root networks around each other that helps make them all stronger.

It's so refreshing to hear you're unapologetic and unashamed that you guys live in each other's pockets and don't have a life outside of your relationship. I feel like society today pressures us to have a life outside of one's marriage. They threaten that if you don't, the marriage won't be successful, and that's it's somehow negative to live so intertwined. Which absolutely isnt true and you guys prove it! Thank you! Love your content ❤

Your relationship is kind of rare. Because you're so compatible, all around. That does not always work but for you two, it did. You both are on the same page and grew together. I guess what kills most long term relationships is that people don't grow in the same direction. They start liking and doing things that the other doesn't like or enjoy and there is no middle ground anymore.

My husband and I are in a similar relationship, we've been married for 11 years and we don't have children and don't really want them either, and similar to what you said, we're also together all the time and we never get tired of it because he's my best friend. I think these are very specific relationships where there was a meeting of two people who really like the emotional intimacy, sometimes even more than the sexual one and they really like comfort and routine and something familiar over new people and that's why it works so well. It's a lot about character, some people are looking for a different kind of thrill and that's okay too.

Jenny, this is so necessary so thank you so much for sharing about your relationship! I'm 22 and surrounded by influencers talking about laid back relationships and non attachment. Plus, I don't have any adult relationships to inspire myself around me as all the grown ups in my life are either divorced or miserable. So, talking about happy long term marriages is so needed in my view. My 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend is this month, I love him dearly and I'm growing so much by choosing to stay in a relationship (yes, is a decision, as in my age people break up at any minor sing of unhappiness) so I feel I'm very inspired by your video. thank you so much

I’ve been with my husband since I was 16 and I’m now 38… that’s 22 years! We are very much an entangled, can’t get enough, want to tell each other everything, plenty to talk about couple, too. We also have moved around the world together, work together and share our friends in common. All these years later and I somehow adore him more than ever. Loved this video! It’s maybe the most relatable account of a long term relationship I’ve seen given my own life. I too feel very grateful ❤️

I was single till I was 38, so adjusting to a live-in relationship was very hard . He was married before he met me so it was not as hard for him, as he was used to sharing his life. I had to work hard to adjust, but once I did it was the best relationship I’ve had. We both needed our space, we learned to be kind to each other, respect each other’s boundaries. We also needed to have a break from each other, he would visit his family in Finland once a year, I would visit mine for a week. But when we got back together it was loving, fun, adventurous and yes even boring sometimes. We were together for almost 21 years. We spent most of our time together, we had a lot to talk about in spite of that. We went to many concerts and trips together. He passed away 5 years ago. This year, I went to a concert, it was the first without him, and even though I enjoyed it, in the middle of it I just started crying, because I knew he would’ve loved being there. Walking alone, without him is still hard.

My husband and I are together 16 years this year. We've been together since our mid-20s and we really have grown up together. Even when our life gets mundane and boring I would still rather be bored with him than excited with anyone else.

This is what I love about the Internet - seeing how others live and that there is no rule for society to decide what's right for you. Thank you for your honesty!

My husband and I live exactly like you and David! 😃 We are together all the time, we work together, we tell eagerly each other about everything we feel, see and do, we get fascinated by the same things, we have breakfast together, lunch together, dinner together, read the same kind of books. This has been going on for 33 years! We still love to be together 💓💓 And we are also Swedes!

My husband died after 20 years together. Enjoy your time. You never know how long you will get xxx

I got married when I was 40 to someone who was 73. We've been married 3.5 years and it's been the best years of my life. We were engaged and married in 6 weeks. (We had known each other for 15 years!) COVID just made us realise what we wanted. Probably won't make 18 years (although 90 isn't out of the question)!!! No children here either and I do find myself justifying sometimes. Don't need any reason and I need to stop explaining! We spend most of our time together too (he's retired and I WFH a couple of days a week) and it just works. We have hours of comfortable silence and for an introvert this is the best of relationships for me. Don't use the word 'soulmate' very often, but my husband and I are soulmates to the core. When you find the right one, it just works.

I wanted a #1 type relationship, and thought I had it. It worked pretty well while we were both in school. But then I discovered something important about myself: while my values have remained consistent throughout my life, I seem to need to reinvent the externals of myself every few years, and that was not a journey he could take. He never tried to hold me back, but of course it caused increasing separation in our relationship, and I ended up feeling trapped. I need to emphasize that it wasn't him that made me feel trapped, it was my trying to live a life where I felt bored-- with myself -- and unchallenged. We did break up, and while I never found anyone else to share my adventures with, I have been more content by myself than tethered to a life that felt unchallenging. We didn't keep in touch, but I've seen signs that he found someone to share the kind of life he wanted, so I assume he's content as well. While I would rather have had the kind of relationship that Jenny and David have had, I realize that one can't have everything one wants, and I have been content with what I have had.

Congratulations on 18 years! What an accomplishment. There are couples that don't last longer than 18 minutes! Cheers to another 18 for you both!

Being single is everything. Happy for you.

22 years with my husband. We are the epitome of “opposites attract” and we adore each other. I fall more in love with him every day 🥰

*This is exactly the same thing happening with my husband and I* 🫶🏽 Met at 21 (me) & 24 (him) and been together 15 years and counting. - Never broke up (not even for a day) - Never used drugs to enhance our time together - never spent more than 2 days apart - do not have separate individual social circles - never had family or friends meddle in our relationship journey (ups & downs) - and our time together has never grown stale. Our life together has been the OPPOSITE of *BORING* 😊 So much a mirror of yours ❤ Just love that you have such a healthy and happy relationship.

I forgot to get you a gift.

Happy porcelain! I say this because for you and David to stay happily married for eighteen years is something rare and precious, especially in an age of hookups, swipes, swings, and whatnots.

I also realised that me and my husband talk a lot A LOT about what we want in life. Like not having kids, where we want to live, what we want to do… we never just do anything just because it’s expected, we both believe in living the happiest life we can. I think that’s also a big contributor to our happy relationship ❤ if one of us wanted kids or wanted to live in the suburbs, it would never work (or one of us would compromise and be miserable). So I’m just really happy I’ve found someone who shares my goals. And we often check in with each other to see where we’re going. Are we happy, should we change something etc. We both have a responsibility to articulate our wants and needs ❤

I was anxious for many years that our relationship would "turn stale" because we do almost everything "wrong" if one listens to generalized relationship advice. It obviously does work. It also evolves and we are our own people still. You described quite a few reasons why. It's exactly that: "We would chose to be really unhappy together rather than be apart" so we are both motivated to ensure we don't go down that road if possible and stay on top of our game to remain prepared for turbulence. I wish everyone this kind of bond and I would chose being single over any other type of couple relationship. Congratulations!

I met my husband in my senior year in college and we dated for a few years long distance (me in Boston, him in NYC). We have now been married for 26 years and there’s no one else’s pot I would want to share. That said, I don’t think we would work well together and while we share most friends, we still have some separate friends and hobbies. But at the end of the day, we are just good with each other and balance and respect each other - and so we just work. I love what you and David have and I love what Chris and I have and I think love is all about communication, mutual respect and balance. Best wishes and thank you as always for the inspiration. ❤

Finding your soul mate is a blessing

Love how considerate you phrase your learnings. It is all about your experience but you never give the impression you think other ways of life and experiences are less valid ❤

Her saying the f word so politely 😂 I would subscribe twice if I could.

I relate to a lot of this. I think for us it really comes down to we are one another’s Ride or Die. We are the best, best friends we’ve ever had and we can’t see being with anyone else. No one else would get the jokes. No one would be fascinated with the same things. We just fit together so well. We would exhaust anyone else. I’ve never met another person who is so like me in so many ways and where he’s different is the special sauce that keeps boredom at bay. I’ve never for a second had to put on any sort of mask around him. From the very start I have been more myself with him than I even am with myself at times. There’s no artifice. I can’t even articulate it. He’s just my person and I am his and that’s really all there is to it. It’s not been a sweeping, dramatic love story. It’s been a quiet knowing. And after 25 yrs, the fabric we have woven together has so many subtle textures and colours, it’s totally irreplaceable. No other relationship would ever live up to it now. Congratulations on your 18 yrs ❤

My fiancé and I spend most of our time together outside of work, and we live together. We also don’t want children; We are completely content with our cats. It seems to me that a lot of the relationships I see that are really good happy relationships, the couples are super close with each other and do almost everything together. My dad’s parents have been married 65 years and they are always together. The people who tell us that we should spend less time together and be more independent are the people in relationships that are miserable. I’m not claiming everyone who’s independent or more dependent on each other are all the same, but this is what I’ve seen in real life outside of the internet.

it's a very healthy attitude and it looks like you both flourish in this relationship. i am a person who feels the freedom and vreativity in being single and i still look at you and say "good for them!"

Watching this video, and having my relationship of 20 years recently end, I can see what could be better for me and my ex partner. And I notice how special these relationships that start from a young age, are. You can't recreate that bond easily... But it is very difficult to keep these relationships healthy and happy. The top reason is that there is not space for the individuals to grow and evolve to the people they are supposed to be. You can't stop this change. Either you grow together or the relationship stops working.

With the right person being with someone is freedom and with the erong person being alone is freedom 😊

Congratulations on the 18 year anniversary! I so relate to your relationship. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and also both love sharing every detail of our lives with each other. I have questioned whether that makes us codependent and yet hearing you share your story helped me see it from a different perspective. All I could think is awwww, I love this! Which I now also feel about my experience!:) Thank you.

Sending you love… I especially enjoyed the point about letting each other grow and evolve and hopefully grow together…. I think it’s hard to know when you are younger but essentially having the same values is extremely important whether that’s religious, secular, career focused, wealth focused or homestead family life, creativity and arts, whatever it is, you need to kind of know early on in the relationship. No point trying to build a life with a person whose values are different to yours

I’ve been married for 10 years to a man I married when we were basically children due to high demand religious reasons. We’ve since abandoned that high demand religion and grown together as children into adulthood. Benefits and negatives to growing together as kids into adulthood but we have managed to grow together. I think the key to a long term relationship is ability to adapt and deal with change. With that said it’s ok for a relationship to end if the adaptation to change doesn’t benefit both people. People grow apart or together, and that’s just life. Loved getting a peek into you and David’s relationship ❤ thanks for sharing

I am 20, and I xannot understand most of thing you are explaining. I think this because I have no experience may be. But any how having a successful partnership for such a long time is very impressive. I wish both of you good luck and happy life forever.

Love your stories🌷 I’m 12 years together with my significant other, we like to spent our time together, just like you and David 😊 He works from home, I work parttime as a teacher. We grow together and explore life together. Can’t think of anything better 💕

I’m so glad you’re happy and so is David!

Whoa, it just occurred to me that we, Oakywood, are part of the story of your relationship. But we don't feel like the third wheel at all 🤭We wish our Oakygoods will serve you (both) for the next 18 years and beyond 🌳

I absolutely loved the way you put things straight in this video. Cheers to all of us🥂 almost 11 years and counting ❤️

Thank you for sharing this Jenny, I’m 28 in a 12 year relationship and many things you said really resonated with me. I feel like the only times we have struggled as a couple were when communication shut down, because of life, work, personal issues… Scary times, but love for sure has always been consistent. And like you said, I too would never want to be with anybody else, even after all this time 😍

What a lovely, lovely couple! So glad you found your person and so glad you shared your journey and what you've learned along the way with us! I am a very happy single by choice person and think we are all strengthened by diversity of stories and choices of paths through life. 🙂

Yesss, approx 13mims in Jenny discusses the observing and accepting your partner's growth dynamic which may be the key. Somewhere I saw a quote from a man in a 40+yr marriage who in summary stated his wife changed and grew into a different person 8 or so times and he determined he would and learned to love each version of her. May your long lasting love and growth together continue as this is very inspiring ✨️ 💖 😊

This was so cute. I am really touched how you are able to share your feelings in such a beautiful way.

The absolute happiest of anniversaries to both of you! Love you both!!❤

LOVE this analysis. So insightful!

This Oaky Wood stuff is beautiful ! Thank you for the recommandation !

Loved this way of talking about long term relationships! Very needed...Often I feel relationships are treated as an "activity" but a real lasting one is a commitment where you grow and evolve together

Congrats to you and David! 🥳🥳🥳 love everything you do! Here's to many more!

I’ve never watched your videos but this popped up and I’m glad I watched it. What a beautiful video! It’s nice to see a positive narrative about long term relationships 😊

I'm in a 19-year relationship, I'm 38 years old and I'm still so in love!I agree with you!

Your example sounds so inspiring! I've had an 11 years relationship, no kids, but the last years we where definitely in the different pots. I vote for the 1st type 🥰

This was really comforting to watch, actually! I'm in a relationship similar to yours, very symbiotic, best friends and partners. Your perspective really is refreshing to hear, in a sea of relationship misery and short lived couples, it's nice to an ever in bloom couple like yours. I really resonate with what you said about no being bored of the person but by life/the rhythm of your life itself. I think it easily transfers to the person closest to you when you live together, and it's an issue to always delicately pick and see for what it is, and make sure it doesn't poison your view of your partner, because it's not their fault. I feel stuck right now, in my rhythm, and it is very relevant to me to constantly make the difference between what is causing it and what it affects. In the end, I know my person isn't the problem at all, I want them there, always, I just need energy brought in to keep ME feeling alive, and then that spills into how the relationship feels. We're energetic when new things happen, projects are pursued and completed, progress is made... We are so alike and yet quite different in our organization and schedules, so there lies our struggle, figuring out how to align so that both our needs are fulfilled and we're not let down. It's a constant work and evolution. But when you're with the person for you, at least for me, there's no thought of anyone else even when it's hard. Going through it together and adjusting until aligned is the way, because like you said for you, we would rather be together and unhappy (working things out) then separate. It might seem crazy to some, but unhappy is just a phase, that comes and goes, as life changes and time moves forward. Instead of navigating it alone, you're just nagivating it with someone else. Big congratulations to you two on your anniversary!!!

This has been the most refreshing, encouraging video and just what I needed right now. So much of this describes my partner and I's relationship (even if we havent been together as long) and gives me hope that we can have the lifelong relationship we both want even if we're still so young. We're definitely the marriage #1 scenario!

Congratulations, guys! You are a huge inspiration for me!❤

the haircut you have in that black and white picture; i love that SO MUCH on you. it's everything, and i am here for you cutting it again.

I used to think my fiancé and I were very different as people and moved differently through the world, but as time has passed I realise more and more how alike we are. We have even gotten comments that we have started to move in similar ways. I cannot imagine anything more fulfilling and interesting than being with this wonderful person who is the plant I lean on and that we nourish each other. I find it so wonderful that a partnership can be this way.

I’ve been married 54 years. We knew each other six weeks when we decided to get married. We’ve raised two very wanted, very planned children (it was the 70s, many chose not to have children and we were criticized for having them). We’ve had times both young and old that we spent almost every moment together and loved it and had times apart that we were very excited to share everything that happened when we came home. Enjoy what you have.

omg such a refreshing video! made me look at relationships from another side i never thought there is.

Pausing the video to comment and say that this shirt combo is AMAZING. Obsessed. Okay continuing...

you have just solved my whole life…I always thought I was looking for a 2 but I really know I want a 1 who is as spontaneous and restless as me

I love that you mentioned feeling loved and seen and having that other person have your back!! I’ve been with my partner 12 years this summer and I think sometimes we’d both rather be miserable than separate 😂 we like 90% the same stuff and it’s nice feeling like a have a best friend, but we’ve both change alot and grown over time, accomplished things etc and I hope it grows into an even healthier happier relationship as we both learn and grow.

thank you for sharing your story and being so honest. you guys are amazing! happy anniversary

I envy your relationship. Yours was the way I envisioned a realtionship should be. I'm on marriage #2 and both have been of the "separate flower pots" variety.

This was lovely. And I’ve never heard a couple described or a mentality around it that is more like mine and my man. We’re just 4 years behind you. Beautiful.

Hey Jenny. thank you for sharing your experiences, very inspiring. We're happy for both of you, a lovely couple!

Congratulations and here’s to long term relationships! 🥳 Me and my partner have our 10 year anniversary and we started dating at 18 y.o. We’ve been through many different arrangements (long distance, very long distance, living together, open relationship) and every phase of it we choose to do it together and to share every phase of live! We are very different but overlap on our core values and world views and have this deep rooted trust in eachother, which is something I wouldn’t want to trade. I feel like long term relationships make people grow in so many different aspects.. and I always thought that with every person there are things that don’t work easily and need work and commitment, so I would always choose to invest further in an already deep connection that just starting over 🙈

Long time watcher, first time commentor! I'm celebrating 6 years (!!) with my partner in a couple of months, and everything you said sounds just like us. I cannot imagine myself in any other pot (love this metaphor 🌻) and we simply can never get bored of each other. I only hope and pray we one day get to also celebrate 18 years like yourselves. Y'all are such a beautiful, inspiring couple. Thank you so much for sharing, and for your incredible wisdom as always ❤️

I've been with my significant other for 16 years, but we first dated 40 years ago! We've grown apart then grown together and if we spend more than 4 nights a year apart it is unusual. We live, love, dance and travel together and are never bored (at least, I'm not). I can see another 20 years together, if we live that long! Our secrets? We don't argue, we talk. We respect each other and have no secrets. It also helps that we both think that the other is totally gorgeous, sexy and wise.

Wow!! We‘re 17 years this year… and I am do thankful for your way of seeing on your Relationship. This blows my mind..how Kind and Loving you speak about yours 💞 thank you for that… So many people are Talking… And ask you if it doesnt get Boring after such a Long time together… And i just was thinking of that..- am I getting bored in my longterm Relationship? Where is the Spark and so on… and now I really can honor it again. Even when the partnerchip grew up into another Level.. where the passion and the Sparks Looks different.. it is so rich. It is. Thank you

Congratulations! Happy anniversary! I really appreciated this video. Yours is true love. I have been in a relationship with my partner for almost 21 years and married for 19. Hugs from Northern California!!!

I think out of all the myths "opposites attract" is the worst. Sure, I think there's some ways where complementing each other is nice, but overall I find relationships work much better when you have more in common and I do not understand how anyone could every conceive it to be the other way around. Like, what do you do with a partner who's completely different from you? My parents were like that and even now (obviously they're apart) when they see each other once in a blue moon all they do is argue. It makes no damn sense. Even my own relationships had a tendency to fail because we had too many core differences we both found annoying about each other.

Happy Anniversary you two! 🎉 this video was so relatable! My husband and I also have this kind of relationship ❤

❤ you’re just the best ❤ def look to you two for sustainable good living principles

This is so cool to see. You both seem very secure and healthy, and it's great you were both so lucky to find each other!

Happy anniversary!!❤ wishing both many more years full of health and love 😊

My husband and I have been married 11 yrs but together for 19. Also partners in business and we also have our separate careers. We really do enjoy spending time together, talking about the future and traveling. I think one of the things that works for us is we have made a conscious choice to define how our relationship looks. Beyond being married, we don’t really follow convention for the sake of convention.

First time watching your channel… Congrats!!! The 18 years show in the creativity, professionalism and caring so visible in this video. Subscribing now! ❤

Beautiful video Jenny and congratulations on your relationship with David cheers 🥂

Barbara and I have been together 38 years, still love her.. probably even more. We are not perfect and have ups and downs but I would not want to be with anyone else. Still learning about each other. Even day is a new day. Advice: Always tell the person in your life you love them and give them a long hug and kiss when u wake up and before you go to bed.

I've been with my husband for 14 years, and I feel the same way about long term relationships as you do. I love being one with him and just living life together.

I love this! My husband and I are just like this, even though we've only been together for 3,5 years. I love how we got to "marriage 1 type" almost straight away.

Happy 18 years!!!

I totally agree about the boredom, it comes from life itself and I never understood this feeling of boredom. Don't people have problems? There are challenges, sorrow, deaths, family problems, all that make life very far from boring. I never understood the concept of a boring life. And it is so nice to go through all that with a partner, with someone who knows all the context that you don't have to explain and that can mirror you so you can evolve. It is very exciting, ALL THE TIME!

Happy Anniversary!🎉 I like very much your relationship.

Having children seem to destroy many relationships (or turning them into a "forced necessity", because people end up hating each other, but dwelling in a relation or marriage just because of children). So, imo childfree relationships certainly give us the most free and relaxed way to enjoy each other.

I really love this perspective. So often we hear the opposite. It's a very sweet and beautiful relationship you have. You can tell you like your partner, I love that!

Explained beautifully♥️

I resonate with what you said: nothing is more sexier than seeing your partner grow and surprise you! I think it's a bit harder to grow if I am in a super tight relationship when I cannot do anything alone because another person NEEDS me nonstop. But I also don't want to be in a relationship when we grow apart. Everything is a balance. Congrats!

I love my space and my alone time and also struggle with feeling like I can't be myself around other people. When I dated in the past, I always felt so suffocated and uninterested in a relationship that I quietly let it end. I'm coming to the conclusion that I may well be single my entire life and am fine with that. Though I do need to get a lot better in terms of managing my own life and keeping up friendships, I always wanted/valued real, deep friendship much more than romantic relationships. This video and comment section is a breath of fresh air tbh, in my own life I see people squabbling in a relationship over the stupidest things and telling me that "relationships are hard", makes me wonder how the hell it can even be worth it. As a result I've become cynical of long term relationships, so it's nice that Jenny and plenty of people in the comments find it possible to live harmoniously in a partnership.

Thanks Jenny Mustard!

Hi Jenny, remembering you, with your short hair, and no eye brows 😊 following you since that period. (Still have your cooking book) Today you re talking about your live relationship with David... You re just beautiful together. Guess for resume that Jenny and David it s an evidence. Wishing you both and together all the best.

I've always enjoyed watching you and David because no relationship has felt more like my own. I've been with my "David" for 12 years now since we were teenagers and it's DEFINITELY the "1st marriage" type. You're both so inspiring and thank you for continuing to share some of your life with us :)

Big love to both of you!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

I wish I found someone that wanted to be with me 24/7. But I acknowledge that it is hard to find. I'm glad you have got it for yourself when that is what suits your type of personality and needs :)

Happy Anniversary!!!

“Him becoming a Tory” 😂😂😂😂 I’d definitely have to think about some pruning!