After 20 years of smoking weed and drinking I’ve had enough ... I’m a addict n my names Brittney. Prayers for all going through this..

Dude I just found your channel, and it’s actually scary to me how much you remind me of myself at you’re age. I’m only like 5 years older than you but I can’t believe what a difference these 5 years have made. But I’ve had all the same experiences. Social anxiety, test cycles, alcoholism, etc. best advice I can give is to stay away from alcohol, and the test too(sorry to say it), and find something positive to get involved in. People like us are obsessive. Oddly enough people like us can be the most successful people in the world or we can completely destroy ourselves. The key is to channel the obsession into doing something positive that you’re passionate about. You can become crazy successful in life. Just make the right choices. I wish I would’ve done so sooner, but I’m getting started now

Its my day 1 as well, quitting cocaine and alcohol. stay encouraged. it won't be easy, but were in this together.

I was 91 days sober, but gave in and drank because I missed the feeling of being able to talk and be calm. But woke up in the same situation, blah getting wasted again just made my mental 10x worst. After seeing this it definitely makes me feel ready to get back on track. #day1

I am 45 now, but I started out just like you. I had undiagnosed anxiety/depression/trauma as a teenager from the loss of my father as well as social anxiety/panic attacks which in turn led me into later years drinking/drugs but then literally becoming a "Functioning alcoholic" for many many years. I am now 4 years sober and literally can't stand the smell of alcohol or be around it and trust me ppl who knew me as well as my family I shocked them for as much as I drank and hid daily. I was on several different antidepressants over those years that never worked at all and two suicidal attempts where my heart stopped and was "paddled" to be brought and spent several days in ICU in a drug induced coma due to grammal seizures from it all. Please get the help you need, you have the potential....I see it in you.

Yep. I think a big part of it is age. I’m 34 now - I was a heavy drinker all through my late teens and 20s. I have social anxiety and it’s always “helped” me. However I always felt like shit after, way anxious, and embarrassed of my actions or what I said. It’s a temporary band aid that just beats your body up from the inside. Congrats on taking steps toward sobriety!! And good luck.

Please keep uploading videos. I have social anxiety as well and it sucks i know but its good to know I'm not alone.

Listening to your story which is related to mine you need to be done forever. You go back to it you will end up down the same road. One day at a time bro. You got this.

Day 1 here. Anxiety through the roof :( Gonna hang in here. It’ll pass. 🙏🏻

“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”

GOOD FOR YOU!! DON'T SELF MEDICATE, MY HUSBAND DID THAT CAUSE HE HAS ADD AND TOURRTTES, AND DRAK ALOT MADE MY LIFE MISERABLE, DRINKING WILL NOT HELP YOU , ITS NOT GOOD FOR YR HEART, AND HEALTH, IL PRAY FOR YOU , SO YOU KEEP SOBER😊🎉🎉 GOOD FOR YOU ..KEEP IT UP....

It took me a DUI to be the slap in the face I needed to quit drinking.. I have also lost 2 great jobs this year due to my drinking.. I know I am an alcoholic, I just never wanted to admit it. Today I have 3 weeks no booze or cigarettes! When I quit my day 1 was nothing like yours, I definitely had terrible, terrible withdrawals. You're making the right choice!

If you go to an AA meeting you will meet people who understand and will help you. My son went to an AA meeting at 26 and never looked backed - he is very successful today at 40 with a family. He actually found God through his journey. God bless you. ❤️

I use to be a junkie then turned to the more socially accepted alcoholism... Stay strong brother shit gets rough but it will pay off

I am an alcoholic, 16 years sober. I used AA and it was very very helpful. Plus there are built in friends there, all people that party like I do. Give it a try.

I am sober too! Congrats on moving forward in your sober journey.

Hope you all the best with your surgery! Will definitely follow this 30-day journey.

Good luck Ben and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR JOURNEY. It has helped tremendously...

It's my day 1 today :) hope you are hanging in there! I totally relate to the inability to control your emotions, I cry and get chills over anything slightly sappy lately haha. You can do this!

Hey man, just found your channel and I can relate to you so so much.. Self medicating, trying all the racetams, alcohol.. It has helped me make friends but switched off my intuition and ability to get to know myself better.. 9 months and one week sober today.. I never thought I'd make it. My social anxiety has been fading out. It turned out I had massive nutritional deficiencies.. It's been eye opening. Encouraging to hear your story, I don't feel so alone..

Thanks for sharing man. Really enjoy your videos.

Don't overthink it mate, remember everyone is just worried about themselves ❤

Spot on brother. I just really been making my health the priority. Eating good , exercise ect. I'm several months no alcohol and it's been great, no bullshit lol but dude when u mentioned waking up in the a.m after a night of drinking wondering what happend, was the worst for me lol sometimes I'd just start a reg convo up with the people and would pray they wouldn't ask " do you remember lastnight?" 😂😂 god it's giving me a hint of anxiety just thinking about it lmao

I got a lot of respect for you posting these videos. I hold back on these things on my channel although I'm going through similar things. Keep strong man, people looking up to you.

Omg this hit home for me. We are the same! Learning about my social anxiety is fairly new journey that I've acknowledged. Alcohol helps me a lot with social situations which is not ideal for the meds I started taking, I get extremely unmotivated and tired. It feels like a weight off my shoulders to find others going through the similar situations. I don't feel alone in this. Wish you the best of luck.

I love how real you are in these videos man! Keep up the fight against these things. Alcohol can be a prison and it sucks

I'm making this my day 1 too, I've had so many day 1s before. This time I feel more confident. Thanks for the push in the right direction

Thanks for sharing your story. Very brave of you to share your emotions in a society where a lot of men don't feel like they can. Your honesty and genuineness is very relatable. I feel like a lot of people go through or have gone through the same things, but feel like they are the only ones. Looking forward to another video!

Congrats! Honestly you are good looking, great personality, you have a wonderful smile and laugh, and yes drinking does help ( I’ve used it for social anxiety ) but you will learn within time with meditation if you do that or with a therapist that your confidence will boost. Took me til my late 20’s like 28-30 (now 30) that I feel so much better confidence wise and it helps social anxiety and let conversations flow easily. You are NOT the only one. Light and love to you 💜

Its my day one. I have drank every day for several years now and I have forgotten what it is like to wake up without a hangover. Still midday and I am feeling fine but by the evening I will be struggling. Vids like these really help

You are doing great! You seem to be really good at reflecting your own behavior, and you are courageous enough to open up about it. That's a great start many people lack. I wish you all the best! :)

Thank you for sharing. Looking forward to being sober myself.

Just found your channel a few days ago. I swear your the Male version of me. Have alwaysed had social anxiety and been drinking alot alone for the past 5 years. Glad I'm not alone. Your stronger then you think. Your awsome. Please keep posting,

you seem like a good guy, idk why this came up on my home page but i totally understand these type feelings. I feel i have different effects on my life but i definitely feel the 25 and struggling with these things. Me personally im beginning to feel all the evil in everyone close to me. Intentionally isolating myself to preserve what i feel is right kind of. Hard topic but also a necessary one i feel

I can relate to many things you’re going through. I wasn’t able to fix my alcohol addiction until I figured out my anxiety meds. Once I became less anxious, the alcohol cravings had gone way. In one of your videos you mentioned T shots for anxiety. Definitely helps!

Good luck , I’m trying my day one will come soon, not ready yet too much grief going on and stress , but one day hopefully 🙏🏼

I love how honest your videos are . Takes balls to just talk openly on here

❤️ pls be careful going cold turkey, alcohol & certain drugs can cause serious & dangerous effects when stopped immediately after consistent use.. wishing you all the best with your journey, i can relate to a lot of what you have spoken on in your videos. Thanks for sharing 🙏😌

Hey! First time viewer of your channel- I appreciate your vulnerability so much. Especially as a man, where we’re supposed to be stoic and emotionally closed off to society. I have a similar background with social anxiety, testosterone (as a treatment for other health matters), and addiction. You’re not alone. Don’t be too hard on yourself when it comes to sobriety or the anxiety itself. Radical acceptance is the number one thing that’s helped me get through life, and more importantly- a hard time like the pandemic. Radically accept that you’re living with anxiety, an addiction, and any other issues you deal with daily. Be honest with yourself. I’m not saying it’s easy, and I’m still learning. Just wanted to share since you seem to be in a similar boat. The number one thing that helps me to deal with my addictive tendencies is a “purpose.” For some people, that’s a sobriety community, career, family, etc. For me as a creative, it was becoming something bigger and sharing my art with the world. I’m still on that journey, but it keeps me sober and motivated. Something I learned years after college (I’m now 30) is that drinking and drugs are heavily promoted like a “game,” or even competition amongst our peers. It feels good in the moment, especially when others are doing the same and rooting you on. College culture really has to change in regards to this. It’s okay to have fun in moderation, but so many people go overboard and put themselves on the track to addiction for the rest of their lives. Life can be a party, but in a positive way. Your drug of choice can be music, art, or whatever hobby you enjoy. Find yourself with the help of your loved ones and professionals, if you need it. Really hone in on that thing that makes you “you” and move forward. This won’t work for everyone but I thought I’d share how my journey has lead me to a much better place and I’m so happy we’re talking about these issues openly in 2021.

I hope all is well with your sobriety path it's the best gift to give yourself,believe you can do it and you will succeed good luck mate 👍

i saw your video about having social anxiety and literally checked your other vids to see if you also had some kind of relationship with alcohol. The two seem to go hand in hand....i relate to you so much bruva. Has been very insightful to hear your experiences that I also relate to very much. Sending good vibes

Thank you for sharing your story. Your helping me stay sober today. Thank you brother ♡

I hope you’re doing good brother. Keep going ⭐️

Hey Ben, your personal concerns have really touched me. You describe having social anxiety etc. You seem very genuine and sensitive to me in a world where people get success from being fake. I don't think you do make the connections with people as you do when you are young. The world is a cynical place. Don't put yourself down for a start. Also, psychology has a label for everything. And alot of these labels have self deprecating symptoms. Perhaps rather than focusing on the psychological, focus on the spiritual. Seek a good shaman for guidance. You are still young and from what I can remember the 20s were a lonely decade. Don't be too hard on yourself XX

Congratulations Ben. The decision to take control of your alcohol use takes a lot of self awareness, courage , and determination! How are you using the time you now have living sober? You have the ability to do great things with your life....never forget that!

Bro I hope you staying sober please sending u light and love

Today is my day one. Thank you for the video.

THANK YOU for sharing your story with us and being brave enough to put it all out there. I sent your channel to my 23 year old son who is struggling with everything you have and are. To show him, he's not alone in these feelings and anxiety and drinking. He seems to want to make that change now after so many rocky days which are always tied to drinking. I sure hope you post more and continue to allow us to watch your journey. Thank you so much God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. That's MY higher power, but if anyone has a different belief or none, these words still work for however you want to use them on your own. You don't have to use GOD in the saying, Im sure you know this, Im just saying this for anyone else struggling now and reading thse comments 🤗 I look forward to watching you grow 🤗

I had to quit a year ago, because I developed major depression, panic anxiety, and I didn't want to be on earth anymore (or go live in the forest)).

I've been on a downward spiral for about 10 years since my career took off and I've become more and more isolated in my personal life. It has started to show itself as anger and depression the past few years, and I realize it's destroying all of the relationships I still hold dear. INTJ here. Today is my day 1, and I'm starting to seek the support and professional help I need. Thank you for your videos and honesty. Wish me luck!

yes, drinking or doing drugs could actually make your progress go backwards.. something about it you are worth the fight for come whatever you're dealing

Today is my day 1 just relapsed! Love your channel

You’re inspirational bro, many can relate to you

You will make it to day 1000 and beyond!! You got this! 😃

I’ve watched all your videos, keep it up 👍🏼

Goo onn you are the best....good disition

I used to drink to self medicate and give me "confidence" I understand about drinking to help me socialise and feel comfortable. I rarely drink now but I can relate to what you've said.

Your Going To be Great Man , still young and I see the potential in you

Thank you for your honesty. You seem more normal to me than abnormal.

Well done! Hope you’re keeping it up 😃 x

I think you are very insightful and should trust your intuition/ gut. You identify concerns about the alcohol use, so take notice. I see you as a very empathic and sensitive person. Nurture yourself.

I hope you keep it up! Been sober 5 years now after dieing at 29 years old from drinking. I got Acute pancreatitis that lead to full organ failure.

I can relate SO much! I also suffer from social anxiety and I recognize how alcohol helps calming down on social events and when trying to sleep (I have insomnia too). But of course, I want to avoid doing it often (specially at home), since I may develop some kidney disease. Very recently I started trying having no alcohol at all and I hope my organism gets used to it soon enough.

My day 1….again….Two years sober and I let boredem get the best of me and I know better. This video is great. Thanks.

Proud of you for quitting. It's socially hard when that's the main event with social gatherings.

So proud of you! 👍❤️

Thanks for sharing your story, it really means a lot to see and hear honest heart felt story like these beach use everyone has a demon that they are dealing with. I am a mother of 3 kids, wife and my parents live with me. Occupation Nurse. Started of drinking for fun as a teenager and as I got older used it as a crutch to relive “Stress “. I wake up feeling awful, unproductive fighting to work and keep up with my kids, every day is a struggle and I have no one to talk to about it, because people think when your doing ok in life you should complain or have a problem. Today is my day 1. Putting my Trust in God and staying away for alcohol. I’ve stop for 30 days and when I started it back it seem like shit got worst so I have to stop I think about my kids and husband. Thanks again for sharing.

Thank you for your story I'm a blackout drinker myself I can only imagine how you feel that's why I've been 13 days sober for 2022 I'm tired of waking up wondering what the hell I did the night before or if the cops are after you or anything that alcohol is related to I'm grateful to be 13 days sober thank you for the video it was really helpful God bless you sir

Good luck brother. Day 550ish here. That's a slippery slope you were on,....trust

You got this. I’m at day 1110 ( yes 3 + years) 😳 so proud but still struggle with wanting to drink.. being sober was just personal choice of challenging and seeing if I could overcome my anxiety without using alcohol to be social and have fun. LOL unfortunately I’ve turned into a complete hermit but I’m trying my best and still sober ❤️ Hope all is well in your journey.

Hey Ben can you give us an update on how you're doing? I hope you're doing well. Ill be praying for your sobriety and well being. 🙏

Hey Ben, I’m curious about how your sobriety journey is going? I’m 25 and suffered from alcoholism since I was 17. I’m now almost 6 months sober and this video resonated with me. I’ve been through the cycle over and over for years until I finally made the choice for myself. It’s super tough, but it’s worth it in the end. Hit me up if you ever need someone to talk to or help hold you accountable on the journey!

During my partners struggle with sobriety(he's 6 years sober now) an ambulance driver attending him said that he should "never quit quitting", he carried that release of failure, and sense of determination to heart. It gave him hope, and reality of a sometimes bumpy road, but always going in the direction of his destination. Every day can be a struggle when stressors are higher, but the road is smoothe sailing now... Never give up on the destination

Coming from a very similar place of normalized alcohol and drug use, I support you. You want better for yourself--dont complicate it any further. You deserve it. "I have never met any one who stopped drinking whose life got worse." Think about that any time drinking seems like the easy solution.

Good luck!!!

I was in a similar cycle, self medication with alcohol in social situations in the beginning . I was embarrassed to tell my doctor and gradually things got worse. I started drinking most days for nearly 2 years. I ended up health issues caused by the alcohol, acid reflux and blood tests showed my kidney and liver function were greatly reduced. Those health issues was my turning point. Been sober 1 year and organ function is back to normal. Talking to my doctor about anxiety was the best thing Ive ever done.

You had me rolling over laughing at the “what did I do the night before” lmao, hope you make it to 30 bro, subbed

My parents also have rough past. And it is so much easier to drink more than only two drinks. Sometimes it works, but yes. And i think it is very important not to whip ourselfs if we gonna drink, sometimes. And then always start again, and get more wiser everytime or something. Maybe in future we really can drink only 2 and enjoy it more than 20 drinks in past. If don’t wanna quit totally.

Bro Europe has always been a dream of mine! Paris FTW! subbed keep em comin

How's soberity going?? Its awesome that you were able to see the issue before it caused you any health or legal issues. Hope you are doing well! 😁

Im in the same boat. I only drink to be social. Becuase i still want to have friends and have fun but my aaniety stands in the way. and i get addicted to the feeling of being drunk because it chases the anxiety awaay for small time. But alcohol is not helping me long term. Im with you, im quiting today and gonna go for 90 days. Im with your bro

I know this video was 2 years ago but I would love to hear your update if you are comfortable sharing. I am in this position right now, and everything you’re saying I relate to.

Your a living legend bro...

It's good that you're aware, the main thing is to fill your time with great activities such as hiking or bjj

I love your videos! You're so honest and I love how all your videos you're just trying to better yourself! I feel everything you're saying, Christ is the one who completely filled me🤎🤎🤎 I'm praying all is well

I have been on those drinking sessions also... No friends and no motivation to care sometimes.

Congrats you got this 👍 👏

This dude is so relatable

Dude, we have a lot of commonalities. Like I've detached myself socially to the point where even typing this comment feels off if you know what I mean. Alcohol does temporarily cure the brain fog though, but you're correct that it's not sustainable. So, I've been relatively sober for the past few months and I can honestly say I hate it at times, but I was worse off before. Negative introspection still dominants my mind, but your videos are showing me possibilities. Like throwing away the self-mediocrity or deceit I somehow continue to perpetuate. I, like you, am literally fed up with it, because it's just a bunch of bullshit tbh. I'm also in a fraternity, which I joined purely for social interaction. Like you, I'm having a weird adjustment period that I'm hoping is just intermittent. I just want to aquire contentness at this point, but we'll see what these next few years hold. I wish you luck though my dude, life's a conundrum and we just gotta embrace what makes sense to us.

I never had social anxiety until a few years ago. It used to be horrible but its better now even without alcohol

Me and you are one and the same. It's actually crazy how similar we are.

In my personal opinion you should try a meeting (AA) just to feel it out. And take what you can from it. Look at the similarities not the differences. Listen to others and see if you like it. Just my opinion. It wasn't for me but I do love the program. I am currently 9 months sober after going to 2 months with of rehab. Im 32 and mine started out just like yours. It is 100% progressive if you are an alcoholic. Props for recognizing it, that's awesome. Please please anyone that reads this do not stop child turkey with alcohol or benzos! They are the only two substances that you can actually die from withdrawals. I have multiple seizures before lucky under medical supervision. So please be careful and seek medical advice befitting styling.

Functional alcoholic is the worst combination. I sometimes dring for months every day, still hold my engineering job, drive every day and sometimes i realize that somehow i have gotten away with it thousands of times. How is it just that i drive to work every day drunk and dont get pulled over. Its insane. And than i quit for few days or sometimes weeks and the process repeats. Im 32 now and i remember that around 27 or 28 it started to go downhill real bad. And still am.

Alcohol and high dose trt will mess with your hormone levels and cause mood swings. Basically a heavy night of drinking can aromatize that testosterone into estrogen. I did A cycle and felt great but got into drinking (going out 3-4 nights a week other than “just some beers” here and there). Mood swings showed up more and more while I was drinking and then started showing up when I wasn’t drinking which is when I cut down heavy on the alcohol and tried to get one of my close friends to do a 30day sobriety with me.

Good job man keep it up. You have social anxiety because you are an addict. Quit Drinking = SOCIAL CONFIDENCE. Good job keep it up!

I'm slightly confused, and please don't think I'm saying any of this to sound like I'm being down or mean, but I just watched a video from 3 months ago of yours where you said you have no friends, which made me presume you meant literal, and now I see this video where you say all you do with buddies is/was drink. I only ask this because as a person with same anxiety issues quite a lot alike, but I really literally have nobody to call a friend unless I include my sister and mother, but other than them I have nobody, so did you make friends within the 3 months of the pervious video? I mean that's awesome if you did it shows your actually making progress on your anxiety which is always a plus, or, when you said you have no friends did you mean you do have friends but your anxiety got the better of you in the video and made you say you had no friends? wow I feel like a Karen saying this but I 100% am curious in a good way so please don't think I'm hating on your videos/progress.

Hey Ben just found the channel- have you continued your sobriety? I am going on a year and a half and it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time. Hope you’re doing well.

Push on bro u got this 🦾🦾🦾🦾

One of best things I did that helped not drinking. Was buy I big plastic tanker with a screw tap on it and used my massive beer drinking traditional glass. Fill up the tank with water n half a dilute pop n just constantly drink water. With it at ur side all the time ur in house. And just think about all the times u been dehydrated drinking nothing but beer. The drinking of the cordial really helped me

Well this is like looking in a mirror for sure. I’m on day 7. I think I’ve said everything you’ve said in this video to myself. Trying for 30 days for probably the 20th time: