whoopsie doopsie I'm not gonna self diagnosie but it's time to go to a doctorosie

I often feel like I’m observing the world and the people around me as if I’m not physically there, if that makes sense

if you don't have this, it's not cool or fun. it's a living hell

At work I often find myself thinking "is this real? I'm actually here?" Then I start panicking when I realize I'm there and I get so overwhelmed to where I want to cry.

*when i read the title i was like YEAH FINALLY IM NOT THE ONLY ONE*

Does anyone ever have to be constantly telling them selves it's not a dream and it's reality?

i sometimes can’t tell my memories and dreams apart. I can’t tell if i’m sleeping or awake and the amount of deja vus i’m having is a painful lot. I forget things i said or thought seconds after doing so and it’s so scary because i DONT KNOW what it is.

I’ve had this since elementary school and never realized it was a real thing. I used to have it every once and a while and now it’s everyday, it’s almost like living in a vr video game for me like it’s like you’re not actually there, you’re seeing everything but you don’t think you’re there. Everything feels too bright and everywhere I go I have to remind myself i’m alive and pinch myself to make sure i’m here

I'm so thankful that derealization is getting more attention. Its TERRIFYING.

It makes it so difficult to learn anything or create anything! I feel nothing 95% of the time and just floating through life. Mine doesn't feel like a dream but like my life is a movie happening through my eyes.

I have never felt so connected to anyone in my life, this was scary to me how accurate this is to my life right now. I feel you girl, thank you for this

It’s hard to imagine living like this all the time. I only had this during panic attacks, the first time I had no idea what a panic attack was. I kept having to remind myself that what was happening was happening NOW...that I wasn’t remembering it. I kept saying to myself, “Is this happening now? Am I here now?” It was very scary and very weird. It feels like you’ve been drugged which is exactly what I thought happened.

I notice people with depersonalization/derealization have a _thing._ For dodie, it's looking in the mirror and not recognizing herself. For me, it's staring at my hand and realising _this isn't my hand._ So i wrote something that describes it. You stare at the back of your hand. You see the cracks in your skin, the crevices, the spiderweb of ridges. They've allways been there. It is your hand, after all. But this time it's different. The cracks are deep and dark enough to fall into. The crevices create baren river beds, branching across the rest of your hand. It seems dry and brittle. Like it could crumble at any moment. You hunt down a bottle of lotion, but nothing changes. Now it shimmers. The light catches it, and your hand seems a lot bigger than your hand should be. _Is this really your hand?_ Someone has turned the sharpness up, a little too much. But there is no picture. There is no camera. There is simply a hand that you do not recognize, and something like panic making its slow way up your chest, using your ribs like the rungs of a ladder. You stare at the hand until it is no longer a hand; it is something dark and terrifying. It is a physical representation of your own crumbling psyche. You shove it into your pocket, anywhere, just as long as it is out of sight. One day you'll look at it again. And maybe that day you'll recognize your own hand. It is your hand, after all.

Thank you for talking about this! I don’t experience derealisation, however, it helps me understand it a lot better. I appreciate you talking about mental illness’ since it helps people who experience these types of things

I'm coming back to this video now, years after first watching it, to let you know this was the first place I ever heard the word "depersonalization" after suffering with it quietly all through high school. I am 22 now and I am coping much better. Thank you for making the decision to talk about this; your channel became a safe space for me because of this video.

i feel like i'm always in a video game? like when you're controlling the character and the other people are just kind of around you and they're just NPCs and you can kind of hear them but not really and i'm the character and everyone else is just part of the game.

Thank you for describing derealisation in such a mature way, that really helped me, as someone who does not experience derealisation (but does suffer from depression and social anxiety), understand what it is like to experience derealisation. Thank you dodie.

i was diagnosed with this about two or three years ago because i had just lost my sister to suicide and i blamed myself for it and our situations are similar in the way we experience it. as for your suggestions for helping with it, i think i might try the tmsing as well as taking that vitamin as i haven't done those yet. also thank you for posting about this because i am glad that i am not alone! - TIPS: - i like to remind myself that im present by always keeping a journal with me and reading all the notes my friends have written to me and most of the time it does the job. - every so often i get up and do some streched. - also, have someone hug you or touch you in an uplifting way! - of course, always try to think positively!

I remember when I was around 8 years old and I looked at my mom and said, "are you real? is this real?" and she got scared I was showing signs of early onset psychosis, but I was just going through derealization. It's so difficult to socialize during it because I feel like an alien masquerading as a human in an ill fitting skin suit. Everything feels like almost like a stimulation. It's not as jarring/scary as it was for me when I was a kid, but I think it's mostly because it's become my "normal".

I appreciate your openness and honesty regarding this topic. Mental illnesses outside of depression and anxiety are rarely talked about in detail and there is still so much stigma around it. I really appreciate this video.

I immediately clicked on this because finally someone feels the same way.

i just got diagnosed with dpdr literally like two days ago and it feels SO GOOD to know that I’m not going crazy or whatever, but that it’s a Real Thing and that I’m not just making it up. i started having severe symptoms in the spring so it all went quite quickly thanks to some lovely friends that recognised what i was going through when i tried to explain my experiences and encouraged me to seek help. and it’s really great to know that other people feel this way as well. thank you!

I’ve had this constantly for 3 years now. Severe trauma, anxiety and depression triggered it. I ignore it as much as humanly possible however it never leaves. I guess I could say I’m used to it now although everyday is a living nightmare. Losing hope. What’s the point in living when you don’t feel love to your loved ones? What’s the point in living if you don’t feel present or real? There’s no way of knowing if it’s possible for my individual case to get better. If only I could skip ahead to see how my life turns out so I could decide what to do with the suffering now.

You probably won’t see this but I just wanted to say that in music class, we have to write about our favorite artist and I chose you. You have been such an inspiration that even when you are in your lowest low you can make it out. Thank you

Disassociation/derealisation is the brains way of pulling you away from trauma !!!! I feel you so much, dodie. I’m sorry you go through this on a daily, but one day you are going to be a new woman where this is so much less of a reality and you will experience things with the vividity you did as a teenager, but it will be so much better because you will be a grown up woman who has known pain and will appreciate the experiences so much more !!! LOVE YOU STAY STRONG!

i feel like i’m dreaming and it’s giving me an anxiety attack.

Wow, Hi I’m fourteen, and yesterday I went to a therapist for the first time because of derealization. Being in school, you need to constantly stay focused and on task. Yet class would go by in a blur, it was like there were white clouds over my vision and sound was muffled. And after class, my friends would ask what was wrong, I would be sitting in my seat with a distorted face not looking at anything just staring forward. I looked confused by they would say, whilst in reality I was trying to wipe away the clouds blocking away my vision. I felt as though I was going insane. Already depressed I felt defeated, left alone in the world. I have started to self harm, as I fell only deeper into depression because of the stress mental illness brings upon us. Yet as I went to a therapist yesterday and I found out I’m not alone. It was so funny to see this video pop up on my feed after all this happened. I haven’t tried any treatment yet, but I hope so soon. I’m seen as an annoyance to teachers as when they ask me to read or answer a question I take at least 30 seconds to snap out of my state. And though it seems like not much time, 30 seconds is enough to get you some bullying. I’m seen as a freak and a weirdo, and I’m scared to talk about it. Yet watching this video, I felt as though I was talking to a friend! You are such an inspiring beautiful person, and I hope you realize that! Xoxo Mollie from Seattle P.S If anyone else does read this, if you are feeling this way reach out to a trusted teacher! My old teacher from 7th grade (Ms. Weed) yes weed.. She is absolutely amazing and sweet. I told her about how I felt, and it really kickstarted my journey to getting better!

I've missed your honest ass so much, dodes.

I had this for three years and really thought I would kill myself if it continued any longer. You explained this perfectly ❤️ I wish you had posted this when I first had it as there was only a wiki page on it and self-help forums so I really believed nothing was real. I did get depression from and did not do as well during exams. If you're suffering from, I know it seems like dp is all there is right now but there is a way out. I overcame it without therapy or any help but it is a process that took a while. All I remember is that one day I decided not to focus on it at all and try to divert my mind on to many different things. Recovery in it self probably took me about a year but I'm glad it's over. I don't even remember exactly what it felt like, only that I was miserable with it. Please keep going, look to the future, depersonalisation is not permanent it's a state you need to get out of by relaxing and overcoming anxieties. You can do this alone, with friends or a therapist. Good luck ❤️

I never realized there were more people that experienced this it’s good to know I’m not the only one

To everyone reading the comments. Feeling spacey (brain fog) is a VERY common thing and most people will experience it at some point in their life. It is when it occurs for an extended amount of time (EX: months, years) and interferes with your daily life and relationships that it becomes a disorder. There is so much self-diagnosing these days that everyone seems to all have clinical depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and an anxiety disorder. Please don't add this one to the list. It is hard enough for this one to be understood and taken seriously. Just trust me when I tell you that every single person in the comments does not have DP/DR disorder...

I burst into tears watching this I had no idea other people felt like this. Thank you for making this video it is incredibly validating to know I’m not alone

coming back to this vid roughly 5 years later now experiencing dpdr chronically for around 3 years almost moved me to tears. dodie as a musician and a personality was always my biggest inspiration through tween years and now being freshly 18 revisiting the music and youtuber sides of dodie is so connecting with my younger self (a part of my life i often forget because of the dpdr). thank you for inspiring me to play little songs on my uke and love the world with my whole heart

I recommend the Anxiety Ninjas videos. I was like this for over a year and it was horrible. I’ve watched his videos on it and slowly felt better about what I was going through and now I’m free from it, I sometimes get my little moments here and there but they don’t bother me, feeling normal again is 100% possible. :) From my bad experience with it, I found that making it “who I was” or paying attention to it all the time and just simply ruminating on it made it worse and just struck more anxiety in me. So I’m not downing her ways or anything like that because maybe it helps her, but honestly for me personally, I found that it wasn’t the best idea to be writing about it and making it a big part of who I was because it wasn’t, I just stopped calling myself a sufferer. Once you understand what DPDR is, you’ll understand why circling your life around it like it’s something that’s not gonna end is a bad idea. DPDR is there as a defence mechanism to help you through traumatic experiences which is why you hear some people say they felt out of body or that they don’t remember a certain event for example major pain like an animal attack, it helps you not focus on the pain but instead “the weird feeling”. So with that basic understanding of it, I was able to steer into trying to feel like myself again. I know it doesn’t sound the easiest, but it’s simple. I thought I needed all the medication, all the weird treatments, all the nights of hospitalization when all I really needed was the education and support. I hope y’all get through it because I can assure you that it isn’t forever :) Although it isn’t just as easy as watching videos, that’s what I’m making it seem like lol, it does take time and effort to help yourself get through it, not gonna lie it took me a while but it was all worth it in the end. HERES A TIP- Surround yourself with your friends and good vibes even when you feel like you don’t have the energy, trust me when I was around my friends, their good energy made me feel better especially when I had really bad days, never stay home and sulk the whole time!

I can’t thank you enough for making this. When I clicked your video, I was hopeful but doubtful that you’d be talking about what I’ve been experiencing. Halfway through, I burst into tears. I’ve been feeling so scared and alone this past year, because no one I talk to seems to understand it. I’m an organized, motivated, extroverted person and when these derealization spells hit, it’s like I’m PRETENDING to be all of those things. Doing ordinary tasks is overwhelming. Conversations are like climbing a mountain. And my memory is completely shot- short term and long term. Again, thank you so much for talking about this. I feel better already just knowing I’m not alone. And to anyone else feeling this way, remember to take a moment to breathe and be kind to yourself ❤️

I always feel like I’m dreaming and it feels like what I’m seeing isn’t real, and sometimes I panic. Can anyone relate?

i come back to this every once and awhile, cause i found this a few years ago when i was feeling this way and ever since then i haven’t felt so alone in this. thank you so much for making this apart of your platform. while i haven’t been able to see a professional, i’ve been able to speak to my parents about this which is a huge step for me. thank you so so much.

I have this too well i have autism and ptsd so it comes in the package. Very very odd but honestly im glad i have it. Sometimes it can be very soothing to just space out from the world but it also makes you quite vulnerable to bad people. I feel you girl ♡

I love that dodie reads the book instead of asking people to go get the book and read it for themselves

I didn’t realise this was an actual thing, I thought I was just tired and not really with it.

It must be really weird and tiring to have derealization all the time! I only feel this on anxiety attacks including sometimes depersonalization but all the time! you're so brave 💝 thank you for sharing it

I just want to say thank you for sharing this with us. I fell exactly like you for 4 years now and I could never explain to myself or to the others what I was going through but now, thanks to you (and to my girlfriend that finds you) I can finally name this black beast that ruined my life for so long. I feel almost every sensations that you described in the book and I immediatly start crying and I'm crying right now while I'm writing this and I don't know why but i guess is for because I don't feel alone anymore. Thank you so much and I hope with all my heart that you can get better as soon as possible

oh boy I'm getting a bit teary-eyed and I don't wanna self diagnose, but I've been feeling this for as long as I can remember. It's so relieving to hear that what I might be experiencing is something that is real and shared. I've asked so many people including friends and family, and I've never been able to understand why other people are so normal. I'm almost crying now and I just wanna say thank you so much for putting this information out there.

I have an exercise I do when it gets really bad. Take a deep breath and Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and one you can taste. It helps ground you and remind you you are here.

i’ve watched this video so many times and always recommend it to people because of how you describe it. it brings a sense of comfort knowing it not a lone even if it feels like it

You have no idea how happy this video makes me. I was extremely scared that I was going crazy or something when I began experiencing depersonalization and anxiety (including panic attacks) after this extremely stressful even in my life. Depersonalization was just such a scary state to be in. So hazy, feeling like you’re in autopilot. I had been seeing a therapist for depression but just tying to explain my depersonalization was the HARDEST thing ever and you did it so well! Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone/ going crazy!

I never ever considered other people could have this. I thought I was going crazy. I read a comment below that perfectly described my own experience. Feeling a kind of invincibility and not caring as much as usual since the world doesn't really feel real until you "wake up". Like you're watching someone live their/your life through a window. The first few times were extremely disorientating when I woke up. It's gotten less disorientating the more times it has happened.

the background is so lovely (and so are you)

I feel like I'm living inside a bubble, just existing, not moving any back or forth in life, just seeing everyone from inside it, carry on with their daily life feeling themselves. I don't even feel like I m a part of this world anymore, I feel so disconnected with myself, people, life, feelings, the world, everything. I feel like I m already dead since the day I experienced this and whenever I go outside, I feel lost as if I'm in some different timeline.

I also had chronic DP and DR and this goes away until you accept it as part of the anxiety, or until you decide to stop running away and learn to feel ignored and lose fear, no more pessimistic comments when saying that this is a disease, until that you learn to accept and feel, they will not go away. I am psychologist

THIS IS A THING? I HAVE THIS TOO AND I WENT TO THE COUNSELOR AT SCHOOL FOR IT THIS MAKES ME FEEL 1620348273567128904 TIMES BETTER

I have autism, and severe PTSD. I'm also going blind from a eye disease. Because of Dodie, I found out that my floaty fake-ish feeling wasn't normal. So thank you Dodie 🌻♥

This happened to me once And it was *TERRIFYING*

when she says that the sensation 'never did' go away, she really meant 'hasn't yet'

I’m so confused.. I seriously thought everyone experienced this stuff. Should I be concerned oh my god

Oh my goodness. Dodie. This is nuts! As soon as i read the title i freaked out, because i constantly feel this way, especially when I’m in a new place. I always tell my friends “I always feel like my life is a dream” and they tell me I’m crazy and that it will go away and it’s nothing to be depressed about. Thank you for making reality feel a bit more real for me.💗 Edit: listening to the part in your book about watching a movie made me remember the first time i felt this way. I haven’t thought of this since it happened. I was 10 and on my class trip to Disney World. One we arrived, nothing felt real, but i was still aware. We went on the Finding Nemo ride, and became entangled in the beauty of the ride. The characters were right there, like i could almost reach my small hand out and touch them. Once we got off, i was in a daze. My body was doing what it was supposed to do. Stick with the group while we walked around visiting the different attractions, laugh with my friends. But my brain felt like mush. I was watching a first person movie, and i was the uncontrollable main character.

i remember 4 years back when i was 16, watching your videos, i couldnt imagine what it was like going through depersonalization and it was the first i have heard of this condition. eventually my mental health gotten worse to the point i actually developed depersonalization, and i was trying to remember who it was who i found the condition from. i have finally found you and i have got to say it really sucks to deal with this condition. it feels like im high without the high and it really makes me panic. i hope it has gotten well for you too

I cried to this. I feel so heard.❤

There's something I've read somewhere that helps me "come back", or ground myself to reality when I feel like my surroundings aren't real : around you, you should try to find - 5 things you can see - 4 things you can touch (and imagine what the sensation would be) - 3 things you can hear - 2 things you can smell - 1 thing you can taste. This technique helped me a few times, it forces you to be aware of what's really around you.

Wait.. is this whats been happening to me ? Omg i always thought it was just short term memory and that my eyes are going bad...

basically the last 4 years of my life feel blurry, i can't remember the feeling of being present in our dinner last week, it feels like everything is 2D and I struggle a lot with spacial thinking, which leads me to me being super anxious and scared about driving

I honestly feel like crying watching this. I have felt these things and I always just thought it was my depression/anxiety. And every time I explained it to someone they look at me weird and say “I’m not eating or sleeping well” or “do some exercise” but even if I do it happens. This is the first time I have felt like I’m not going crazy or the only one that feels this way... thank you so much for this video. This means so much to me...

When you forget about it you lose the feeling but then you remember it and it comes back

ANYONE ONE ELSE FEEL LIKE THIS : too derealised to talk to your therapist. I walk in and simultaneously faded out of my own body and yet im sitting there and saying im in pain, expressing all that's happened in recent weeks but looking at them, they look bored and annoyed and i realise that all this time my mouth wasnt moving. When it finally does move i end up muttering 'im fine' but they know im not, they just dont know what they can do to help as i cant say it. If ur having this problem, take a notepad in with with and write down ur thoughts as u think them before they run out of ur mind. What u could also do is write a list of feelings in a notepad and when in therapy, point to whichever one ur experiencing - once u start the conversation, it becomes easier to hold on to reality. If something really painful or sensitive comes up remember - u r as real as u want to be and so is the room ur in, the world u r in and the mind u OWN. U arent a slave to it, u just have to learn how to be good roommates :) hope this helps someone. Love to u all❤💜💙

I cried the first time I stumbled across this video because I had never heard my exact feelings and sensations put into words so perfectly and it was bizarre because I wasn't even looking for anything related to this or to mental health at all on youtube but it still somehow came up in my recommended videos. Since discovering this over two years ago I've not only discovered my love for Dodie and her music but I too have started my journey to hopefully beating this thing. I've started therapy (twice) once with a therapist who was not a good fit and again recently with a new therapist who I have a better feeling about. She specializes in EMDR therapy which I've heard can help and I'm excited to try. And although I still struggle with all of it I'm hopeful, and this is just my long-winded way of saying thank you thank you thank you for making this.

this was made 2 years ago but i came back to the comments again. a year before this video was made i was diagnosed with derealisation. my friend's phone showed this notification because she is a big fan of your music and videos..i was so happy when i read the notification. most people think i'm crazy when i describe how it feels to them, but knowing other people experience the same things makes me feel better about it. we will get through this! i feel like this comment section is a safe space for me to read other people's stories and how it effects them. you are not alone.

This comment is going to disappear under a lot of others, but I wanted to tell you that I heard your song "in the middle" in a store here in France, I so was so supprised ! But I had a lot of fun singing in public one of your songs, it was so weird ! ^^

I have a condition (well it’s not really a condition) where I can’t tell if my memories is a memory or a dream since my memory isn’t very good and my dreams are too realistic. It’s very disorienting because I never know when I reminisce about something if it even ever happened or did I dream about it. The dreams that I have feel like memories so I have no idea.

thank you for saying this and speaking out. i feel seen and represented. this matter, you matter. sending you love.

Hi, I’ve been dealing with this everyday for 3 years now and I wanna thank you for making this video. I know it’s been 5 years since you’ve made this video but I want you to know it’s helped me a lot, derealization has been really scary for me, it causes me to feel fatigued, very far away from my surroundings and things are very unfamiliar. It’s more intense in stores and such (as you described in the video). I hope everyone in the comments who have been experiencing this have found some sort of thing or will find some sort of thing to help them :)

*quietly and off topically* I like ur eyebrows

Mine kicked in after smoking a lot of weed. Been stuck like this for almost a year

Omg! I can't tell you how better, fresher I'm feeling after finding a name for the weirdest feeling I've been having since I know myself. Thank you for making this video and to let me know that I'm not the only one. My whole life (the way I've been living so far with this dreamy feeling) makes sense now. Much love ❤

i come back to this video often to just cry and feel less alone in my feelings of dissociation. thank you for making this, i really appreciate it

Hey dodie, if net neutrality ends up being repealed in the US, I just wanted to say how much you’ve helped me this past year. It breaks my heart when I think of not ever getting to listen to your music or watch your videos in the same way ever again. Your videos and songs have kept me afloat when I felt like drowning, and I don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for you. Thank you so much, you’ve helped me feel again. You’ve helped me figure myself out and made me laugh and cry in the best ways. If by any chance you see this, and if net neutrality ceases to be, goodbye.

Thank you so much for sharing this. Seriously, this means a lot to me

this vid is honestly so helpful to send to people because dodie explains it so good

This is super late but wanted to share that you were the only person who has ever been able to describe this before I went to therapy and I felt so seen. Thank you so much for sharing!

I don’t have vision problems but I frequently feel like my brain is so muddled and that I am not myself. it’s more of a mental feeing than physical I guess. I have such a hard time feeling present EVER. I’m always seeking experiences that make me feel alive and real but I’m too tired to pursue them. idk what to do:/

I almost got chills when you said something about Christmas lights. I first had an "episode" of depersonalization and derealization at a Christmas lights show when I was only TEN years old. I felt like I was going insane. I took me so long to find out I wasn't alone, but I've never connected to any of the symptoms people had mentioned until this video. Thank you so SO much. This video has, and I really mean it, changed my life.

My heart goes out to you. It was truly a relief to know one of the people I admire is struggling with something as well. I have my own unique issues, not the same as yours, but it's inspirational to know people who have it worse than me have come to acceptance and still attempt to live normally and follow their dreams. The closest I've experienced to yours is on a day after an all-nighter. That day literally feels like a dream with odd colours and a lightweight, lessened gravity, no-consequences-since-none-of-it-is-real kind of way. Which makes me bolder to do things with no inhibition but also scary as I can't tell right from wrong, sane from dangerous and rude from kind.

I watched this before i realized i had this and derealization is terrifying, but its comforting to know you're not completely alone on that Its now come to a point where i can sense when im going to derealize and thankfully pretending to pull myself back into my body has been helping

You go through your normal day, when all of the sudden... everything changes. Nothing fully computes in your head and you feel zoned out. Your brain and body feel like two separate things instead of a full working “machine”. Or at least that’s my experience with derealization. I talk about it and nobody understands, so to know that there are people like me; it makes all the difference.

so basically i sometimes feel like dodie feels.... but not the same . lemme explain. for example when i am sitting in class / random time of the day i suddenly realize that i am in this world i am me , but as of before i felt like i was watching a move thru the point of view of someone else or playing a game and controlling the character and i feel like my bran just flew out of my head................its really weird. if someone experiences this please tell me xD

Yeah I've had this since i was a child. I don't remember a time where I wasn't floating. It gets worse when my anxiety disorder acts up so I currently can't focus my eyes correctly. It is incredibly frustrating.

God, I've been feeling like this on and off since probably midway through quarentine, and you were right, knowing I'm not alone really is pretty comforting. Its so. Frustrating to feel like Im not myself, because I generally LIKE being myself! It makes me feel broken. But this video is kind of helping me feel... idk less broken. Less like this constant feeling is going to ruin my life. Ive recently started like, actually looking for help stopping it and this video existing is just so, *so* comforting. Jesus this is getting rambly but just. Thank you.

had derealisation for 3-4 years and now i can say im at least 80% recovered so dont ya worry guys, its not forever and it's there to help you and not harm you, after the period of derealisation is over you will feel everything so strong you will kinda miss being numbed out sometimes haha jk, but yeah i promise you , you WILL feel again

I’m in tears... i had no idea that other people felt this way too.

I went through the same thing a few years ago and it was the scariest time of my life. Funny enough, I didn't even know what it was until I googled "if feels like I'm dreaming all the time." It felt like I was looking through foggy glass and nothing felt vivid, I felt like I couldn't appreciate my surroundings and it caused severe panic attacks. I remember thinking "how am I going to function like a normal adult with this?" The worst part was that no one understood, so thank you for making this video and bringing awareness to derealization. My derealization did eventually get better, and it isn't constant anymore. However I do fall back into episodes every once and awhile... But being able to put a name to it, and understand that I'm not in any danger from it, really really helps with coping.

im so glad you have this which reads to me that it is not a condition, but a blessing. I can understand how this world has a hard time to understand it that they just call it "condition".

I feel like when I district myself like tv or useing my phone keeps me from thinking about it. I find that the more you think about it the worse it gets, because once you forget about it you feel better but as soon as you remember it gets horrible and it's hard to get back to forgetting it

To me when it's really bad it feels excactely as if I'm stuck in a video game. It feels as if I'm this tiny person stuck in the back of my mind, looking through eyes that aren't mine, trying to control this body that isn't mine, and talk to friends that I haven't made. I don't feel like me at all, and I honestly don't feel anything beside constant panick. It feels like I'm stuck in a different dimension than everyone else, as if I'm the only person in the world. Everything looks 2D and there are way to many sounds and colors, that all seem so distant and unreal yet way way too much to take in. My sense of time and place is so fucked up, and my memory gets so bad, and I just feel like I've gone absolutely mad. I have no control over my body, i am so overly concious of every single movement I make, and i don't feel capable of feeling anything but distress. I just fucking want to go back to the real world, and I want my actual self to come back.

I have the same condition. I only just realized this, this year at some point. It's so nice to have people talk about the exact same thing you go through. For 22 years i thought that this was life. I also thought it was just my depression as well. It's interesting how late people find out things about themselves. I feel like everything is rendering to slow. Almost as if what is happening now has already happened, and I'm seeing a replay of it. Also i love your music! I wish i could write songs like you. I feel like it would help me out a lot mentally. Thank you for existing and bringing your art to this world.

awareness around this is becoming super good!, ive discovered you a week ago by your songs and now i see that you have the same issue that ive had for a year now.. after smoking weed, which didnt go that well. sucks that weed triggered it and by reading the comments, it triggers this "illness" alot.. but well, life goes on, even if its hard and specially the beginning of it was so terryfing.. its like, your whole world which you lived in for 23 years is turned upside down on an instant, its scary and hard to deal with.. also you are more turned inwards instead of outwards in terms of your "focus", like having more connection to your Soul and whats going on. hard to describe.. the feeling of unrealness, of depersonilisation.. people suddenly feeling distant, unreal, not familiar, like not emotionally connected to them, umm.. hard to deal with in the family and stuff Imagine waking up and every color you knew is non-existand anymore and there is new colors instead of the old ones you knew, kinda like that :-) life goes on and we´ve learned alot from that ! :-)

I once described my experience with depersonalization/derealization as if my body was ahead of me, miles... and my spirit was behind me, miles... and i simply didn't existed in the present moment

it doesn’t happen a lot but sometimes i just stare for like a minute and i’m like “is this real?” like i could be staring at a family member or smth and disassociate idk it’s kinda hard to explain

i've never related to anyone like this ever, thank you for helping me not feel alone

I’m proud of you ma’am

I think I’m kind of the opposite. I feel like I’m noticing everything. Every sound, every laugh, every eye that looks my way. I feel as if everyone is staring at me all the time. But they’re not. But it feels like they are, like every pair of eyes in the room is staring me down and analyzing me, trying to figure out me, the “quiet girl”. When cars drive past me on my walk to school my heart starts pounding and I look down. When people talk to me I suddenly have nothing to say, even though I practice in my head every night conversations I can have with people. My mind goes blank around people. I feel like ice, when the sun, the sunniness of everyone trying to talk to me and being kind hits me, I melt. I try to hide, and I want to escape and be alone with only the company of myself. I love to draw, but in class, I just can’t. I’m so uncomfortable around people and it makes me sad. I don’t want to be so uncomfortable around people. I don’t want my heartbeat running faster than my body can keep up with and my palms sweaty all the time. I don’t want to start crying in front of the class and begging my teacher if I can present my project or presentation after class privately. I want to be able to talk to people. I don’t know why I’m this way, but I just am. I’ve created different personalities for all of my friends and family and people I know that I talk to, and none of them are really me. Yet when I’m alone I’m suddenly bubbly and comfortable and I feel as if I talked to someone that moment I would be fine. But it never works out that way. I’ve gotten better, I really have, but it brings me down. People think it’s my decision to be quiet, but it’s not. I want to be able to speak to people comfortably without my throat being tight and squeezed and some voice in my brain that isn’t even really me telling me what to say. I have social anxiety disorder. The acronym for my mental disorder is SAD. SAD. It makes sense, because I do feel sad, I do. But I don’t really even understand my own feelings, so whenever I’m feeling sad, or angry, or depressed I tend to bottle it up. I don’t have anyone to talk to my feelings about, and it just feels awkward and uncomfortable to do so. So, here I am, typing out my feelings online in hopes that I will feel, even a little bit better.

i needed this. i thought i was going insane but finally seeing someone publicly address it is so comforting & makes me feel less alone.