I used to listen to the lessons just to be able to feed the missionaries. Lol! They helped us do a lot of yard work when I was newly married and we were working on updating stuff at our new house. Certain things these young men would say to me convinced me we should be a safe, nurturing, relaxing place for them to come whenever they wanted to. My husband and I were in our mid 20's at the time so we were not really that much older than these guys. I always insisted they take drinks, food, or eat BBQ with us after yard work. I could tell they sometimes visited because they were tired and just wanted to relax in some air conditioning. I also told them to visit our back yard anytime we were not home and feel free to relax and take food and drinks out of our deck fridge. I hope it helped. They worked so hard. Our doors were always open. We even went to one of the guys weddings.

Lauren is a friend from high school! I didn’t know she was doing this pod! She is one of the kindest and funniest people you’ll ever meet. You guys will love her. Proud of you for sharing your story! ♥️

I'm so inspired by her amazing story and journey. I was born with a hip disorder that has caused me to have close to 50 hip surgeries and hip replacements. It has made me unable to do a lot of things like hiking and riding a bike as well as walk with a horrible limp. I've found while dating in the Mormon church that most of the active RM type of men I would go on a date with would look down so much at me because of my disability. I was told everything from it was my fault for being disobedient in the preexistence, it was my parent's fault for not being faithful enough, or I just didn't believe enough that God could heal me. They would fully believe I was a lesser person because of my disability and I was even told more than once I didn't deserve a favored man of God or children because of it. Now that I've left the church and talked to many exmembers from around the country I've learned parent's and church leaders had taught this horrible view to these young men. It makes me so sick and sad at the same time. But I found someone who looks beyond my disability, loves me for me, and we have two beautiful babies who are worthy of everything. ❤

I found out I was schizophrenic and bipolar 3 months into my mission(2009). Was sent home. No apology for my trauma(I was scared out of my mind when I had a mental breakdown. No family near me to help me through it. Just a bunch of men that I barely knew(companions)). The Mormon church did absolutely no psych evaluation prior to sending me out. At least the military does psych evaluations before they'll allow somebody to join up.

My son served his mission in France. We got so many uplifting letters and emails from him. We found out after he returned that he had been thrown in jail. Twice. He has never talked about what happened...it was pretty traumatic for him.

The mission president saying a prayer reminds me of a bit in the West Wing episode "Noel." Leo tells Josh the following story "This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out. "A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. "Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on "Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.'" And this is just a retelling of the parable of the Good Samaritan. This mission president didn't show love or concern except for himself. He shirked his responsibility as a human being and as a leader.

I am going to make it my “mission” to be transparent and supportive to these poor kids being bullied and abused accepting these mission calls. I’m going to be there for them.

Total empathy here my mission left me ill anxious and with low self esteem for many years. Only to find out years later others had suffered as I did. Central America should have been the most amazing experience yet I was exposed to a mission president who had no sense of our safety and discriminated on numerous occasions. Sadly affecting my health for years. A young woman put on a bus alone for 13 hrs to arrive in San jose at 1 in the morning, with no one to meet me alone with no knowledge of where to go. Forced into a taxi with 2 men who luckily found the church.. To find 2 sleeping elders who had no knowledge I was there. Put in a dark room and left all night.. Horrible experience and many more.. He was never held accountable.

Saldly, true believers get their heart broken. I’m so sorry you went through this.

I remember when my brother went on his mission in the 1990’s and being told not to tell him the bad that was going on at home. So he had no clue that when he left my mom fell into a deep depression. To this day my older brother still blames me and said it’s because I was a bad teenager. I’ve never stood up and said “no it’s because you went on a mission!” I know no matter what I say it won’t make a difference so I take the blame. I was there, he wasn’t. I saw what happened and he didn’t. Won’t change what happened and he is the perfect child in my parents eyes..so I just go with it. You can’t argue with a narcissist (my dad) and my mom is trying to just survive. So I just go with it. Better than making things harder on my mom. Don’t need the asshole father to take things out on her. 48:31

2:13:00 My jaw dropped when you said her solution to the painful sex was to have a baby. That's not a cure-all. Wow. You shouldn't tell someone to become a parent for life as a possible medical fix. Come on!

Some of this runs parallel to my mission experience. I had health issues come up during the first few months of my mission. I was pushed to keep proselytizing even though it turned out that I was sick enough that I could have died. When I tried to go home early--even if only for a short time to recover--my mission president wouldn't take any action because he saw it as me asking to cancel a "prophetic calling."

Putting human beings in 'authority' over other human beings based on a false premise is downright dangerous

Thank you Cara for bringing up the point that sometimes sexual problems develop during marriage. That is my story and I was literally like "yes yes yes" when she brought that up. And Lauren's explanation of painful sexual experiences and the advice to seek out a pelvic floor PT was gold. I had never heard someone explain this and I am so thankful for this info!!

We have a large Amis community in Illinois and Iowa. Our son is grown but our foster charity takes in Amish and mononite children at 15 when the run away or are being threatening to send them to those awful work farms. I have 2 children I got at 17 and adopted at 18 and 1 is a nurse like me and 1 is going to college with his brother our only biological son out of our 5. People call us weird because we adopt after 18. These children have a right to have a forever family who is going to root for them a dad to walk you down the isel. A father who will have a first dance with you no matter who you are marrying anyone

So many of us gave everything we had to the church. And when we left there was no thanks for your time, talents, money, etc. Instead it's "don't let the door hit you on the way out." It really hurts. It's not like I need recognition or even the tithing I gave or my service or labor back. I just wish they didn't destroy my reputation and make me a virus to my friends and family.

Lauren, my heart goes out to you as a fellow disabled mom. When I became a mom, I had Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS). My son and I played many games that involved me laying down on the floor and being very creative in inventing games that led to an active little boy jumping, dancing, bouncing while I just moved my arms. It wasn't the childhood I wanted to give my son, but it was reality.

I met Lauren at the protest for Natasha Helfer! Lauren is very nice and a really good activist/organizer.

I cannot fathom having mono, being neglected, freezing in a room, starving and on top of that as if that doesn’t make you weak enough, having to tract ALL DAY up to 12 hours in the elements. I just cannot even fathom. My god.

I also have CFS (ME) and have had it for decades. I was in demanding callings (never say no!) and received numerous blessings from bishops, stake presidents, and even a GA. I was diligent (scrupulous) about doing everything required of me to be healed. Prayers/Blessings never worked. .

This makes me so glad I didn’t go on my mission because I was so scared to for this exact reason. I’m really glad I left the church.

I feel like the church should be financially responsible for the disabilities Lauren has as a direct result of the conditions and culture of her mission. They should be covering her medical expenses as "repentance" for the neglect and mistreatment she received when she got so sick.

Wow. I am so glad to have given the church both middle fingers before they sent me off to raise more money while being treated like total crap. Because F*** that. What an awful experience.

I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue several years ago, while mine is not as severe as Lauren’s it is debilitating at times. I completely agree that it or can be thought of as not a real problem. Learning to pace your self is a hard ask when you have been used to continually being on the go. I still do to much then pay for it for several days. Horrified at the pressure and untrue teaching Lauren experienced. She should be compensated by the Mormon church. X

I served my mission in Osorno Chile from 08-10. We were reactivators for a huge portion of my mission. We taught a lesson made by Elder Corbridge called Abide with me or Permaneced with the goal of shaming people back to church. It worked for a bit but didn’t last. Good people and great members but the church as a whole let them down. My MP’s main concern was keeping the good name of the church. That’s all that mattered to him.

Your husband sounds like a beautiful man! I’m glad you two had each other. I love that you came across the right person for your path. I feel grateful my parents divorced when we were young so that we had both an atheist family and a Mormon family. We both got to talk about our sexuality and who we were as individuals in our mothers family where my fathers Mormon family was very repressive. It’s interesting because I can say all gay and bisexual. All my sisters, including myself have dated women, but have married men and my twin brother is gay and it was crucial that we had a mother that was kind, loving and open.

The way the LDS church uses guilt and shame is horrific. It ruins entire lives and is very difficult to recover from. I've struggled a long time to rid myself from it.

My uncle served a mission somewhere in South America a long time ago. He passed away in his sleep due to a gas leak in his apartment. I noticed when a missionary passes away while they're serving. Their death is some what glorified. I remember my parents saying, "your uncle is so special. God needed him to teach those souls who are currently stuck in the spiritual prison." insane!

Hi Lauren, I can't imagine the struggles you went thru losing glutens and dairy and then serving your mission. Trying to control your diet in another country, absolutely crazy. I lost glutens, dairy, eggs and several other foods some 20 years ago; it's entirely irresponsible for you leaders to have sent you on a mission with this health issue! Only someone who has experienced it understands the health problems you experienced! I can't imagine trying to be a missionary while experiencing this condition! I wouldn't wish this condition on anyone, ever, its that painful, that difficult to live with. I'm in ahh that you are still alive, stress kills and the lack of gluten makes one susceptible to it and a hand full of other physical problem! You are absolutely awesome Lauren. Best wishes

Wait I am a never mo… what people pay $500 per a month to have the “privilege” of serving a mission wow there are no words 😶

1:48:41 Lauren your story is so powerful. I have arthritis and as a believing member I also experienced all these feelings. Now I have so much more joy living the here and now with my disability

Well said John, in reference to those who believe they are speaking for God. I decided a while back that if there is a God, that God will inspire me, not some other person about my direction.

Lauren - I developed ME/CFS and POTS from long covid - and also left a cult like church right before my illness. Miguel Bautista from CFS Recovery is such a GREAT resource in recover. I know this podcast is a couple of years old - but I hope you are doing better - and watching Miguel gives me hope that I won't be like this forever, and neither do you! I feel like I've walked you path - and it is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!

Lauren, I really feel for you. I remember working my butt off every day of my mission, I was obedient to a T but I had a lot of issues meeting the quotas the mission president wanted us to meet. In my exit interview my mission president said, “Well Elder, you finally learned how to be a good missionary” since we were finally having numerical success in our area, but that really hurt because he didn’t see me as a good missionary for nearly 2 years. And things only started to be better stress-wise and numerically because I started to not care about what the mission president wanted and tried to focus on the people and what God wanted, and I felt that despite what he felt God was happy with me. Everything that you said is true for my mission as well, it’s an unspoken culture where you have to be the most baptizing missionary and ignore health concerns to work from sunrise to after sunset every day for 2 years. Even though I have wonderful memories and grew a lot from my mission, the leaders care nothing for you and you’re expected to be perfect and work like a robot, even though they explicitly tell you to not teach like you’re a robot. There’s also a lot of micromanaging that goes into it. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that, and I really hope the Church will realize how toxic they’ve let mission culture get and start to make changes.

Priesthood blessings! Super problematic for sure! I was hit by a car when I was 2 and re-told the story over and over that I lived because my 18 year old uncle who was supposed to be watching me gave me a priesthood blessing in the ambulance. Not the medics or the skilled Dr’s. 🙄 It caused me to be scared my entire life to try and be worthy and faithful for these stupid blessings.

This just breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you went through all of that on your mission. I've had mono and it plain sucks!!! I doubt you remember but we were in the same ward from 2009 until we left the church (my husband in 2014 and me and kids a few years later).

I grew up in the Catholic Church. I can SO TOTALLY see what happened on your mission, happening to me!! EVERYTHING is about “your immortal soul”. Well, that’s great but I need help NOW!! All the anger is coming back! I gave up so much of my life for a church that when I needed help, just wanted me to go away!!! NO HELP. NO COMPASSION. NOTHING. It’s not right. No matter how you look at it. I was in a horrible state & everyone had abandoned me, family, friends, & my boyfriend. I went to the church for help. NOTHING. Didn’t even suggest I go to the ER. So angry, still.

Thank you, Lauren! I came out to myself when I was 28. I didn't recognize i was a lesbian because I couldn't. I describe it as an equation I was stuck in. I knew I wasn't evil and the church had taught me that gay thoughts were evil, so therefore I wasn't gay. I didn't want to be evil and denying gay-ness was required to be good.

I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you. Can people sue the LDS for negligence like this, or are they too powerful and it'd just be too much to take on

I watch many of the Mormon Stories Podcasts and have learned so much from them. But this one was especially a special podcast for me, getting to listen to Lauren. Such a wonderful person, so amazing. And John, you moderated it all together so well and with such compassion. I am so glad that Lauren has found such peace outside the toxic teachings of the Mormon church. You have a lot to contribute to the world. And I so love you finding your sexuality.

I've never heard fanatical devotion as self medication for anxiety/depression before, rung very true for me, thank you

What an amazing and important episode. I am in my late 60s and feel thankful to have some new tools (things I learned from this episode) to help younger family members and friends who may need a listening ear or advice down the road. And this is exactly the reason I'm loving the addition of Carah to the podcast. Now off to listen to part 2.

So interesting and informative. Good host questions. Lauren was very open in her story. She has educated a lot of us. Thank you for bringing this show to us.

My mission was my biggest testimony destroyer.

This was so educational for me. ❤ Hugs to her for her courage.

I wish she was assigned to our area in Australia. The missionaries were epic. The church 🙄. Ill still look after the missionaries as long as they dont force the church on me

So happy there are outlets for people like this!

What a wonderful Human Being.

The "priesthood" blessing of this story reminded me of a situation that occurred several years ago - there was a mid-life couple who were as devout as two people ever could be, and one of them experienced a traumatic, totally unexpected medical condition that required an emergency visit to the ICU - the person was just barely alive. Some men from the organization went to the hospital and pronounced a so-called "blessing" where the person speaking said the individual would soon return to "perfect health." When that person in ICU died two days later, the spouse went through extreme trauma which I believe was highly magnified by the false hope mentioned in the so-called "blessing." Even when I was a faithful member, it never made sense to me that "the big man in the sky" would not do something good, he would purposely not interfere by helping, unless someone with "special power" would give a blessing, or if the entire ward was fasting & praying but . . . I guess comments like that prove that apostates like me are evil and should always be avoided (ha). Regardless, it's still one of the saddest stories I've ever witnessed first hand and is an example of how their "special power" is all just a crock of doo doo. Of course, there are many, many similar stories and of course, there are also just as many stories where "the big man in the sky" decided to magically get out of his recliner and actually do something to help. Would a parent who loves their children withhold doing something to help their child unless others beg him to act? I mean, c'mon - really? Just guessing here, but "the big man in the sky" probably flips a coin when deciding to intervene, or maybe he rolls heavenly dice, or perhaps he spins the "Wheel of Decision Making?" Bottom line: the behavior of their god to pick & choose who is helped and who isn't is totally acceptable to them but to me, it's totally abhorrent. When an organization tells you to cast aside your rational thinking skills, to doubt your own ability to study facts and then think about the truth, and when the organization tells you to ONLY believe what THEY tell you, then you have pure evidence: you found yourself a cult. Fancy buildings, very nice suits, and special ceremonies for the elite membership are all just packaging, marketing tools for the 100+ billion dollar cult (but remember to pay your tithing even if it means your children go hungry and you can't pay your utility bills or rent). Nobody who realizes they have been duped by the organization would blame those who are still ensnared in that trap. Who's fault is it they have been duped? Doesn't matter because if the building is on fire, then it's not time to vacuum the floor - you need to escape! If you find yourself at a point where you are not afraid to discover the truth, then it might be the most difficult part of your life, but follow the truth, read the entire story. There is never anything wrong with understanding the entire story, savoring the facts, and only then will you have the opportunity to be totally honest with yourself about what you've discovered. The organization has a clear history of carefully hiding many stories, they have also changed documents they have published, and they carefully craft messages to downplay facts that they realize are a stark contrast to their public narrative. Just like in a court of law, it's important to realize that gathering all of the facts and then studying the truth will never, ever, ever be the wrong thing to do. And, if you still think the organization is telling the truth, and you don't want to change that opinion, then please do not think about how the organization claims the man who is "the most righteous person who has ever lived except Jesus" was also the man who, at age 37 years old, was married to a 14 year old, married to other girls that were 16 years old, and that man was also married to women who were married to other men. Yeah, you better not let that little fact - or thousands of other disturbing truths - sink into your head if you want to "remain faithful" to the organization.

Sounds fascinating from the description. Thank you for sharing your story, Lauren, I look forward to hearing it.

Mine also left me with a lifelong physical disability. They sent me home to get medical care and then refused to provide it because they said my dad's insurance should. Except he didn't have insurance for me... so that was fun...

I Told my daughter and son as they was growing up. if they are gay as far as i was concered it was just as awesome as if they was not. I told them their is no power on this planet that would break my bond, loyalty and unconditional love for them. The Gospel is Awesome, simple and empowering. Religion, tradition, Preisthoods,etc Leads to Misery.

Take your passport!! That is chilling 😳

God was looking out for my niece. She was wanting to go on a mission, but she had done a year of college after high school. God put a nice young man in her life(who was raised in a Mormon household but was never baptized as far as I know). At first she was his tutor and then they started dating. She has now decided to not go on a mission and just continue college and her relationship with this young man. I'm glad to see that my niece has the willpower to live her life on her own terms and not allow herself to be pressured into being a slave(not only are you a slave to the Mormon church while you are on your mission, but you are also paying for your mission out of your own pocket. Which is insane considering in 2021 the church has over $130 billion).

As an exmo the church is a factory of shame. If something goes wrong nobody has to shame you, you do it to yourself over and over and suffer in silence with no support.

John, you’re statement about people preaching about what is God’s will was everything I didn’t know were my issues with organized religion. I believe God is love NO MATTER WHAT.

Thank you John and oh my goodness the bravery of your Guest, 'Lauren'. 🌺🌸💕🌺😊 ❤❤

As a non Mormon growing up in Indiana I can’t even imagine not knowing Joseph Smith had plural wives. How do you grow up on that church and not knowing such an obvious part of its history? That they are able to keep that quiet, yet be so proud when you’re a descent of his amazes me.

So well said! “They were suppose to be the good guys”. That is very much how I have felt and I’ve been let down so much! You can only be let down so many times before you finally break! When trauma from my childhood came back I really realized that I was never going to be protected by the church. They were never going to help me and history had shown that over and over again! My therapist knew my dad growing up and when I finally let him know what my dad is truly like he was shocked! The outward appearances were far different than what he is truly like.

This was a wonderful interview with a lovely guest and two warm compassionate hosts. The honesty and decency of all three was truly inspiring. I learned so much from this discussion on so many levels and across so many topics. And even down to the last 15 minutes the thoughtful but frank sharing of women's health issues was a real public service for women and girls as well as the men who love and support them was excellent. Thank you very much for this thoughtful, kind and civil program. Warm wishes to all of you for your work and courage.

This was an awesome show; it was very fun to see several of my favorite podcasters putting their (talking) heads together!

So emotional! Thank you so much for sharing your story! You're strength is so inspiring!!! You are such a sweet, kind, intelligent soul!! ❤

My dad served in south africa during apartheid. He is still faithful, but I heard some interesting stories.

Hey! There’s nothing wrong with having sex as a bonding experience! Before I realized I was ace I had a great time with my ex. There was a lot I wasn’t uncomfortable or uninterested in, but he was so invested in my well being that it was still and overall positive experience. I wasn’t being internally misogynistic for wanting to accommodate his sexual needs, I was trying to reciprocate what he was doing for me.

I really miss the timestamps. I totally understand the time that must take in editing and assume that is probably the leading reason why it wasn't continued, but even a lower effort version perhaps with the non-interviewer jotting down questions the interviewer asks at the time should still be much appreciated. I love following every podcast you out out but can't dedicate the time to watch 100% of each.

awesome episode!!! thank you

I learned a lot in this episode! Things I had never thought of or even considered. Thanks to all of you.

Unfortunately I know a few personally that went through medical issues and were delayed in being able to go home and get appropriate care.

What a beautiful storyteller! Thank you for sharing, and thank you for having her.

It left me with with stress-induced dysthymia from the constant stress of the mission. The day I stepped off the plane when I got home my heart felt physically wrenched and after a week numb.

Beautiful story and I really enjoyed the movie so much.

At the one hour and 27 Mark, it really really resonated with me. I was raised to believe that the bishops were the mouthpiece of God and what they said was revelation. I ended up staying with my boyfriend at the time who is abusive and marrying him because my bishop said if we were no longer living in sin that we wouldn’t have contention in our lives, and in our home, and I ended up being with him for 17 years, and I wish that I would’ve known then that he obviously is not a mouthpiece of God and Could have put my foot down more about trying to find my now acts a new place to live at the time. Thanks for this video. Great content.

I taught a young girl suffering from kidney disease on my mission, and she wanted to get baptized. The only thing getting in the way was her catheter, which was fine by me and my companion. We understood. Our district leader told us to go behind this girls back to get her baptized anyway because “the lord would protect her.”

Never understood why parents would take their own kids to the bishops. Their kids are doing the same thing and getting away with it.

I remember hearing a story about a missionary couple they were elders that were staying in lodgings that were terribly haunted consequently were always tired during the day because of no sleep they kept complaining but it was quite a while though before anyone would listen, so can be problems! The trouble with people is they’re not perfect so they can be selfish and thoughtless sometimes and don’t listen when they should!

Thank you!

Listening to this on 1/12/24. This is completely unacceptable. As a return missionary myself and not one that “fit the mold” this is absolutely crazy.

I served my mission in Africa......well, half my mission. (new mission created - new call) It's island archipelago nation off the coast of Senegal called: Cabo Verde. I can look back in retrospect and see my mental health situation on my mission was atrocious. And some of it had to do with growing up being told one thing, about how a mission should be, and experiencing something completely counter to it. I thought I was going to help people - not manipulate them for a number to report. The the major reason: My mission was an abusive and oppressive system. The level of shame and emotional/spiritual abuse that went on is so hard to convey. For years I grappled with finding the right words to describe what it was like. I've finally came around to calling it a POW experience. As I've read works and memoirs of former POWs......yeah, it all kind of lines up. And while we may not have been in daily fear for our physical lives, the mission made sure to keep us in fear of our spiritual lives. Faith shaming and guilt tripping were always front and center leading one to think their Celestial election could be in forfeit for things you did and didn't do in your mission. Not to mention the official numbers running games that the mission officially endorsed that were no more than manipulation of members and non-members. One of the common threads I've read from POWs on their treatment is that your captors did everything in their power to take your dignity. Once they have that, you are broken because you went beyond what you ever thought you were capable of breaking down to. And that's why so many repatriated POWs suffered with PTSD and depression. It's one thing to be angry about treatment and living conditions - it's another to go along with your captors to make the interment easier. I can't believe I went along with what the mission was doing to people. I knew it was wrong and I went along with it because everyone else was. For years after the mission I found myself in a constant state of anger having to do with it,, only further compounded by Mormon culture that one does not speak bad about a mission. That's the most protected secret in the church. I got met with - "of course missions are awful. But don't say anything or others might not go. You don't want that on you, right?" The mission took away my dignity and I suffered through undiagnosed PTSD because of it. There's no doubt - the mission was the single largest and heaviest object on my shelf, but it took a few other things before it came crashing down. The mission was an interment... Sort of an interesting aside: Jeremy McDonald, who was a board member of the open stories foundation, was in my MTC district. He knows what I'm talking about.

Oh man... you described something perfectly. I won't say what, but thank you!

What an interesting podcast on a wide-ranging series of topics. I am not Mormon or gay so, this was very enlightening. I want to thank all of you for the intelligent discussion, but most of all Lauren, for her candidness on her sexual history/experience. Her husband has got to be an amazing person to show the love and respect for Lauren that so many others would have just left the marriage and emotionally damaged her further. I find it difficult to understand why the Mormon faith is so callous as to "play God" and ruin so many lives. You just can't pray away physiological, emotional and phycological issues. I wish Lauren, her husband and daughter the very best.

I had a missionary sister come visit me in my home years ago and she was obviously in a lot of pain and being a woman I guessed she was suffering from terrible period cramps so I let her rest in my home for a while and gave her painkillers then she had to go.

I also have chronic fatigue. I developed it when I had a brain tumor. I feel like death every day. I take stimulants to keep myself awake but I have no energy. I wish I did. There's so much I still want to do.

Fascinating conversation Extremely educational.

I feel for her…I never went on a mission but I’m disabled now because of physical, sexual, psychological, and emotional abuse I experienced my entire life by a narcissistic orthodox parent and members of the church. Getting depression at 12….knowing I was bi and dealing with all the guilt. Constant bullying for asking questions. Being the only one in my family who is not Mormon….The guilt is still there. I’m close to 50 and I’m still struggling with forgiveness.

Oh my.....I'm so glad I have Always brought "missionaries" inside, out of the heat or cold and insisted on feeding them. They HAD to eat or I wouldn't listen to their speil.

What a weird coincidence John that your roommate was Monte McCotter. I went to Puerto Rico on my mission and I was on the BYU ballroom dance team when Heidi McCotter found out that her brother was killed on his mission. It was pretty shocking.

Listening to these podcasts is EXACTLY like listening to Margaret Atwater's The Testaments, the book written after The Handmaid's Tale. If you haven't read/listened to those books, you really should

My son served a mission in Chili nearly 20 years ago. When he came home he told stories that made me cringe. The insanitary diet or access to clean food. While many missionaries experience living among poverty and suffer no access to clean drinking water, I was horrified by what he went through. Additionally he experienced abuse from locals that didn’t want them there. Some places are not suitable for these young people to serve in especially when they have minor health issues that become serious in developing countries. The church doesn’t seem to care how the missionaries suffer health issues. No bueno.

What a lovely person ❤

I wonder if she has a possible legal case here. She was overworked and they made it difficult for her to access medical care, resulting in permanent harm.

John's speech about healing blessings not being real was Soo excellent. We're so lucky to have his wisdom and professional training in science! PERFECTION! 🥰 THANK YOU JOHN

I have heard so many stories of LDS missionaries being denied access to medical care while in the field. This is one example of the glaring abuses of Mormonism.

I wish you would tell some of the stories of the missionaries that died on Mormon Stories.Also when i think of myself at 18, you are used to your parents taking care of you when you are sick or helping you make decisions about when it is time to go to the doctor or ER. The idea that the church does not take on this parental role is beyond shocking. I wonder if it also comes from a differences in culture?

Oh yes.....4rth degree laceration at childbirth... Took MONTHS to finally be pain free. Years later when I had to have a hysterectomy, The surgeon told me after surgery, that he had removed a 2" wide scar from inside the vagina which went all the way to the back of the vaginal vault 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️......I also had a scar on my glute where I had torn OUTSIDE the vagina. I'm 75 and I've been a nurse for 40 years. I know now that's it's a WONDER that I lived..🤦‍♀️

What an amazing guy, in fact both of you👏

I kind of have a similar sexuality. I’m panromantic and pretty demisexual, but not attracted to men for the most part, and I tend to date men I’m not sexually attracted to. It’s really hard when the person is not considerate and constantly trying to have sex and the relationship can be torturous, but when you are with someone that is patient and understanding, it can be really beautiful. I’m glad you were able to find a good person to be with that loves you as much as you love them.

At 34:15. Blessings of serving a mission. Health, personal protection, and family protection are promised. What if this does not happen despite being faithful and fulfilling the mission? There have been missionaries who were sexually assaulted, died, and seriously injured while serving missions. Family members also suffered various losses back home. So how is this explained by the church?

Am I the only person watching this and having flashbacks to YWAM DTS missions?

oh my GODS this is the first time i've heard of another lesbian making the same misinterpretation of what a crush is when they were a tween!!! I absolutely thought the fact that I was nervous or uncomfortable with guys flirting with me meant I must have a crush on them, until the moment I had my first real crush on a girl

You poor sweet girl. I'm so sorry you had to go thru all that. Using theology to cause so much pain.