American: “How are you?...” German: “WTF are you my doctor?”

People in Germany say hello to strangers, but this happens mainly in the countryside and in smaller cities.

"Your own freedon ends where the freedom of your neighbor begins" - This is something many germans get told by their parents and by school as well

Regarding Germans telling people what to do: The first time I visited Germany was for a business trip in about 1992. Let me just start by saying that we were very American for the entire trip. We simply didn't know any better. Three colleagues and I flew non-stop from Los Angeles to Frankfurt. We had arrived a day early to see a little bit of Germany before meetings outside Munich. We stopped in Heidelberg wanting to see the castle. Part of our plan was that one of us had studied German in high school. In Heidelberg, we learned he'd forgotten it all. So, we're very lost and very jet lagged, driving around. On subsequent trips, I've learned that Germans are very helpful and that almost any of them under a certain age speak English flawlessly, but I had no idea then, so it didn't occur to us to ask for directions nor to park and get a cab. It seemed like wherever we tried to go, the roads brought up back to the train station. We finally found a small road that seemed to go in the correct direction. At the end, it suddenly narrowed, but then dumped into a larger street that looked perfect. What we didn't notice at first was that there was a do not enter sign posted, but posted much higher and farther to the left than it would be in the US. If we'd been lucky, my boss, who was driving, would never have seen the sign and kept going because the larger road was clear. However, she saw it at the last moment and stopped asking what to do. Just about that time a car came in the correct direction and honked, which we figured was fair. However, the driver parked, ran over to the car, pounded on the window, and said "Verboten! Verboten!" My boss and one of the other people related later that, being jet lagged, they had an LA mindset that if someone was running up to the car, they probably wanted to rob us and couldn't figure out why someone would yell German at them. The other two of us recognized that word from some of the movies we'd seen growing up with German characters, but we weren't really sure what the right way out of the situation was. About that time, the large road cleared and my boss drove onto it, leaving the person trying to keep us out of trouble standing in the middle of the street. I wonder, from time to time, how that person tells the story...

Sorry, this is from a UK perspective so I hope that's not off topic too much. But one thing I noticed in the US is that people sometimes use the word 'friend' to designate somebody they know as well as real friends. In the UK if you know somebody but they're not really particularly close you say 'oh, yeah. I know him'. In the US they seem to often say "oh, yeah. He's a friend'. You get the impression that everyone has loads of friends until you realise what's going on. In the UK you wouldn't refer to someone as a friend unless they really were a friend. I sometimes wonder if that's how the 'Friend' thing on Facebook got going with it being American. I remember years ago people saying there was a mental block at first for older people learning to use Facebook because they were uncomfortable with the term 'friend' being used for someone they'd just met once at a party until they got their heads around the idea that Facebook friend wasn't actually necessarily a real 'friend'.

When I said "How are you?" To a Danish exchange student he told me about his health. Minutes later someone came up and said it and he became worried that he appeared sick if people kept asking him how he was.

No small talk? In Germany we have the smallest talks of the whole planet.

Challenge: Next conversation in German

Greeting strangers is a normal thing here in Germany actually… in very small towns. And that's not because there everyone knows everyone else (but it is a factor I'm sure). It's just something you do, you just greet people. In passing. In the city, people don't simply for the big reason that there are just too many people crossing your path. If I go to the bakery in my hometown (2500 people back then), I'd greet all the maybe 10 people (max) I'd meet.

When im at the trainstation or like a public building and i know there are people right behind me who want to go through the same door, i usually hold the door open for them, but its not like standing at the door holding it open, but rather slowing down, keeping my hand on the door so it doesnt close on someone. Usually people will follow up and do the same thing so i can just continue walking.

It is normal to greet people you see, when you are living in a village in Germany. At least it's like that in my village.

Kinda like that "HIGH BUDGET BACKGROUND" sign on the wall :-) Sehr schön !

Fake plans are the worst! I still remember being in the US to get my little brother settled into college, and this happened all the time. We would literally sit half a day in our hotel room waiting for somebody to show because we thought it was a fixed plan, just for that person never to show. It also led to embarrasment, e.g. if somebody said 'you need to come over to meet my family' but then looking somewhat put off if we tried to pin them down to specifics, probebly because they had no intentions of ever having us over, they just wanted to be nice.

For me as a German, this was really an insightful conversation, in particular the part about canceling and invitations. I instantly recalled events that took place when I was a host to an American exchange student for three months at the university. On the first weekends, I volunteered to organize sightseeing trips for him and some other students of the group, but was often disheartened by the no-show rate. Sometimes just one or two people out of 12 would join and sometimes nobody at all. I refrained from persistent irritation, but if KZfaq had already existed back then, it would have helped be a lot to appreciate this cultural difference. I had basically counted them in already when they didn't feel like having committed to anything. On a side note: Did you know that Syrians (likely Arab people in general?) behave different again in this regard? There, the hospitability apparently demands to invite even strangers over to your house very readily - but it would be extremely rude for them to accept right away. So one is only truly invited after repeatedly declining an invitation that is still being renewed and emphasized in a flowery language again and again! (I learned this lesson after Syrian refugees moved into the neighboring apartment in 2016. I wanted to invite them over for a welcome / house warming, but obviously they declined. But being German, I thought: Too bad, that they are already busy on that evening and unfortunately didn't rephrase the invitation a multiple times. Later, we luckily figured out a way how to spend time together...)

It's amazing that I found Nick and Felicia separately on YT and now they have done such a great collaboration! Please follow up on this with part 2!

In my experience the difference regarding freedom also boils down to different definitions of freedom. Americans equate freedom to making their own unrestraint decisions on everything and having choices. And after these choices they want to reak the all benefits. Germans on the other hand equate freedom to not having to worry about things (free of existential worries) and thus having freedoms, i.e. health care when changing employers or participating extreme sports is not a problem, the social security system reduces unequality and thus protects you when a risky job move doesn't pan out, but also keeps everyone safer as poverty is a major contributor to crime levels (therefore I can walk around everywhere freely), etc. So as you said, one major cultural difference is individualism vs. collectivism, but another important one is risk-taking vs. uncertainty avoidance. These combined differences constitute the difference in the way freedom is experienced. "I am free to do whatever I want" = "Noone can tell me what to do" vs. "I am flexible, because I don't have to worry about many things when making decisions"

Now this collab went much better than what you formerly did with lamblike . I like that Felicia is so eloquent and that this conversation was so effortless, it was as if you both were sitting at one table 😀. Btw I think it was the biggest mistake you could've done to greet that girl in the park with 'How are you doing?' - To give you some unrequested german advice: Try it with a friendly look and a direct approach pretending you have a question 'Tschuldigung, kann ich Dich gerade mal was fragen?' (whatever it may be....) In my experience people always try to be helpful and then small talk developes easily and might even lead to a nice conversation. Oh yes, and please, do some more conversation with Felicia!

Isn't it a bit inconsistent that on the one hand americans love their small talk but on the other hand they greet themselves by asking "How are you?" without wanting any answer? 😂

A story came to mind when you were talking about Americans talking to strangers. My niece’s husband in Dallas was at the dry ice place to pick up dry ice for his wife’s cold treatment to keep from losing her hair during chemo treatments. A woman struck up a convo with him and ended up starting a movement where people donate to pay for dry ice for people going through chemo. They are now really good friends. All from starting convo with a stranger :)

Love the interchange between you two. I have watched some of her videos before and am just amazed at her language skills. I think this is a very good pairing and would like to see more collaboration videos. You need to have a German conversation with her!

What a fun video to watch! As an American living in Germany too, many of these points were spot on! Every visit back to the states I find myself being thrown off by how friendly strangers are to me, but also can now see how superficial many interactions are. The other interesting point about lack of small talk in Germany is how close strangers will stand to you in the grocery store while in line, all while not wanting to smile back or hold any conversation 99% of the time. With the current Corona virus situation obviously the majority is now keeping a reasonable distance while shopping. Nalf this is my favorite video of yours so far, thank you for making these! I live in NRW and it's also interesting to hear how different certain regulations have been in Southern Germany versus here. Keep up the great work :)

Great conversation , I am a defense contractor and work with people from Germany and their military this sheds a new light on why we behave so differently

Great Collab, amazing to see

it's funny that you made this interview right now. I just found her channel yesterday.😅

I love this! You two are awesome. Such a great conversation.

Awesome collaboration!👍🏼 Please do a part two😃

I say very often Hi to random people and the most people say hi back or smile or stuff like that

sehr interessant , bitte part 3 und 4. ;-)

This was good. Really enjoyed this.

Please more of those!

Germany lives by this quote: “The Best for the Group comes when everyone in the group does what's best for himself AND the group.” ― John Nash

Please do more of these talks! Very intriguing!!!!

The best collab video yet. Looking forward to more.

Part 3 to this conversation would be awesome!

Super cool video idea. Cannot wait for part two. Clicking now.

I've been enjoying felicia's vids for a while, like this collab, and have subbed to you too

Enjoyed this video a lot! More with Felicia if possible.

The first question that came to my mind when I heard that 'guns to protect yourself from the government' thing was: if you have to use weapons to protect yourself from the government you shouldn't have THAT government in the first place. And the second was: you still vote for that government. I really don't really get it if that's even a sentence😅

Interesting Video and great input from both of you

Pretty good comparison! Hope to see more of you guys.

I think even superficial small talk can be beneficial. Brief and friendly interactions feel good and remind us we live in this society together. In my mind, it’s always nice to be nice to one another.

First time seeing your channel I think and I love the high budget background sign. That is exactly what I would do lol

I came from Felecia's channel. I enjoyed this quite a bit and will be checking out some of your other videos 👍

MORE! I have been following both of your channels for a while now. Felicia's YT came up first in my recommendations and I was like "Part 2? Huh? Where is part 1?" and then she was talking about the collab and that made my day!

It's been a really great talk! Maybe you both should consider doing a podcast. I think that would be a lot of fun!

So very interesting! I also watch Felicia's videos which makes this "cross-over" so cool for me. Keep doing it. Please.

Great collab video with Felicia. Mehr bitte !

I watched Felicia's video first and yours second. Great conversation! I'd watch more of these if you do them.

Loved both of the videos! I’m actually from Portland and moved to Ostfildern about two months ago. I’m glad to have found your channel to help with the transition. Keep up the great work!

Very insightfull, good flow of conversation between you to and a genuine interest to hear each other out and pick up the point. You should definately do this more often. This just clicks as a format.

That was so entertaining. Great collab. 👏👍Do more of that stuff once and a while. Felicia and you, Nalf, have one thing in common. Your broad beautiful smile. 😍

Ich habe schon lange auf dieses Zusammentreffen gewartet. ;) Ein wirklich sehr nettes Gespräch zwischen Euch! Weiter so!

My hope for both of you is that you both get huge boost in subscribers from this collaboration. I've been following both of you for a long time.

Cooles video, zweiter teil wär nice 😃🙌🏼

Enjoyed this type of video and would like to see more like it.

Super, dass ihr zusammengekommen seid und so ein tolles Gespräch dabei rauskam. Good job!

Very interesting conversation. More please.

I follow you two for some time now a its really interesting to see both views of you in one video. Nice background btw ;)

I like the conversation between you and Felicia. I actually have been watching her channel more and I enjoy it. Based on her initial video conversation with you, I have now subscribed to your channel because I find it enjoyable as well.

Great collab! I enjoyed your conversation about the culture differences.

NALF is awsome! I am addicted and want more videos :D

Nice talk. Interesting to hear about the little differences.

Abgesehen vom wirklich guten content, super geschnitten

Because you asked: Please do a part two. I thoroughly enjoyed both videos.

I accidentally stumbled over your channel while watching Felix's channel and I want to start by saying "Wie geht's?" 😊. I find it very interesting by also educating to watch my country been seen through someone's eyes who comes from another country. It also makes me happy when one of this videos help clearing up misunderstandings about my country, because most of us, while maybe reserved (could be seen as cold) at first, are warm, funny, loyal people once you get to know them. But it also helps me to get rid of my own misconceptions about other countries.

Was very interesting. Please more of that. Switching to Felicia 👋

Every culture got it's pros and cons and you described them very good. You both have potential for more interesting content 👍 btw. that "High Budget Background" blow my mind 😊

Good video; I enjoyed the dialogue. And you helped Felicia relax and be herself more than when she's working solo.

I found your from her channel,but I'm glad I did.

I came over from Felicia's channel to watch this video and loved it! New sub btw! I am a native Texan and live in Dallas, Texas. As soon as the borders are reopened in the Czech Republic, I am scheduled to attend a TEFL certification to become an English teacher, teaching English to local Czech and Russian native speakers. So one day, I will be an expat too! I definitely want to visit Germany when I get back over there (I was actually in the Czech Republic back in early March, right before the corona virus outbreak went crazy). I hope you consider doing more collabs with Felicia, but I'm excited to see what extra content you have planned on your channel to give me another American expat experience to learn from.... Auf Wiedersehen, mein Freund und Mitamerikaner!

Thanks for a video. It comes at just the right time. Yes, more please. TSGO

You both together in a video! 😍 Great! 👍

I think that is so cool. I followed both of you so seeing that there is an immidiate responce from a german to your thoughts is very cool and also the other way around of course. Besutiful idea! 👍🏻😎

First time to your channel #nalf and I’ve been watching #askagerman for about a year now. I really enjoyed the Q&A between you guys and would like to see another one sometime down the road.

Great video. Very interesting.

Thank you for the coop! I've lived in Wenatchee, WA, and got very much used to the 'fake plan' thing. Probably it comes from being honest in that particular moment, that is, from showing appreciation and being excited about the initiative and kind question as such. It works like kind bullshit or appreciative BS..

Good video. I actually found your channel via your collaboration with Felicia. I found her first.

I've watched both videos on your respective channels, and I could relate to so many things you said, being a German who has lived in 6 different countries so far, and interacted with people from so many more cultural backgrounds! There should be much more conversation like this going on worldwide, because it is aimed at understanding each others instead of being caught in stereotypes and prejudice. Like this you find out that what it comes down to is that people are people, no matter where you go, as soon as you risk a look behind habits and traditions; and you'll notice that you can make good friends anywhere if you just try!

Einfach awesome content. Loved it to follow euch beiden in eurer Unterhaltung! Davon dürft ihr gerne mehr machen in the future.

Great video

A new sub for you from Felicia's channel.

Two greatKZfaqrs. Yeah!!!

Great videos.

Podcast potential!!!

As a Kiwi German I hate small talk, but I enjoy talking to people. I like the fact that when I have a conversation or an interaction with people that it's genuine, and it does brighten my day, but I don't need to work out if the other person was being Genuine or not.

Enjoyed the video. Yes, please make more videos together. As a U.S.American who has "visited" Germany 3 times before living in Germany for 5 months (my fourth "visit") I really enjoy your videos!

Hey Nick, American guy in Portland watching you and Felicia. I really enjoy the topics of conversation. I've been to Germany and Austria a couple of times and can relate to both of your reactions.

You fit well. Love to see more collabs

Came from her channel to yours. Subscribing as I of German descent

love your background

I love both of you and you should most definitely do more of these "crossovers" :D this one for example made me wonder about the whole "being told off by other citizens" thing - here in Germany it seems so unavoidable. It's just a given that someone will tell you what *not* to do (with the top two seeming to be how to *not* sort your recycling -despite there being different rules in every city btw- and how *not* to cross the street on a red light). The only thing you can do is grow a thick skin and shrug them off... Oh and the "how are you" I cannot get used to. At. All. I work in an international environment and my colleague (from Spain) greets me with it in the morning. I've had to actively work on my attitude because I'm so not a morning person and even though I know exactly that she doesn't mean to start a conversation it seems to trigger me regularly... I don't want to tell her to stop because I know I should just say "fine, how are you" or whatever you say and not be a bitch about it. But it IS hard ^^ Btw what DO you say if you feel like you're lying saying "fine"?

more of this please

I am German and I loooove the American small talk. Whenever I’m in the US for vacay I always enjoy talking to strangers. We always got so many good Tipps where to go or where to eat. And what I also love is that Americans say that they like your shoes for example. They just tell you. It is so nice. I wish we had it like this in Germany.

Really enjoyed this video. I'd like to contribute something: I guess the amount or intensity of interfering with each other's lifes varies considerably between the regions. When I moved to saxony things happened to me that never would have happened in Brandenburg where I'm originally from. For example citizens shouting at me quite aggressively that I should turn my lights on when I was cycling home (in the dark, of course). Happened pretty often and in a big city, mind you, where one would expect a little more laissez-faire. In general, though, and the older I get the more so, I do subscribe to the idea of "my freedom ends where the freedom of my neighbour begins". That includes, for example, adhering to the quiet times like midday or sundays. I can't know what the needs of my neighbours are in terms of recreation. They might work in shifts, they might feel ill or something, so they should be able to rely on certain times where they're not disturbed. I want that for myself, too, so I have to grant it others as well. Personally I probably wouldn't go to a car to tell the driver to switch off the engine, but I find it rather inconsiderate to leave it on, because 1. it's bad for the environment, i.e. for all others, too, and 2. there are noise emissions as well, so, again, it's not just my personal freedom, but I invade the lifes of others by making unnecessary noise.

you both are a great couple, keep it on

Great Idea, I like this a lot.

I came from her channel, and i found out youre from Portland, Oregon, so am I!

I never could agree more about your claims than this time especially the English skills ;-), but I came back after I watched the second part at Felicia's channel to say, yes please show us the whole conversation.

I have recently discovered her channel and now you two did a collab? This is amazing

I love that Americans say hello to strangers and honestly Americans do this in the most beautiful ways. Many let you know indirectly that they see you and really notice you. I had a stranger walk by while I was doing some reps on the beach and he was like "5 more" - that was a micro conversation. In California there I found even this culture of finding the most unique or funny ways to say hello. And small talk can go in the same direction, even at the cash register. So let’s make both a thing here. Please keep saying hello in any shape or form to strangers - they will get used to them. Because even if they act strange for that second you made their day or even gave them a story. Taking the best of two cultures is always better then just switching from A to B.