Betrayal Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse: www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/livevent

Tell them "No". Narcs have a viseral reaction to the word NO. Second best way is give them silence, while maintaining a lock on eye contact.

My biggest red flag is, when you're on you're on your own you love yourself, and when you're with a narc you're insecure...you should never ever feel insecure when you're in love! That person doesn't deserve your love! Please run for the hills while you can and never look back!🙏

The narcissist definitely acts possessed, like a demon

Also praise someone else in front of the narcissist and see what happens 😅

The fact that narcissists overly play being "nice, kind and helpful" is to bait you. They're awkwardly invasive wanting to know everything about you to use it against you later. Everything they do has an agenda. "Think the worst and you'll be certain" always works with them. Never trust them but your own self. Thank you, Danish 🙏🏻

Also if you feel the need to defend yourself, or defend what you say~run!

and then survivors are called indecisive when they just feel pressured into doing something that is only an advantage to the narc and not for themselves

I grew up with narcissists and had to learn awareness and resistance much later.

Trust your instincts. We were given this gift for a reason. Let no one break it

Just treat them like an equal and see what they do back with that. That's all it takes. Every time.

The stare is a big sign! It feels creepy...like it makes your skin crawl. That's the best way I can describe it.

One time, I was resting with my eyes closed on the couch when suddenly I felt this dark presence. Like some evil cloud of darkness hovering over me. It disturbed me so much that I opened my eyes and found my ex standing over me and just staring at me. I can't tell you how disturbing that was. The next day, I was in jail on trumped-up charges. Jail was a godsend because it made it possible for me to finally get away from that creep.

When you tell them no they question it. Not everything needs an explanation yet they want to know the reason why they dont get what they want.

I live in a small town. There are a couple people in town, who, when they show up, everyone runs. These people are VERY nice, and seem harmless, but they are angling for something, either now or later, and those who have known them for a while, don't mess with them any more. They run. They can't put their finger on it, but I think they are covert narcissists.

After surviving a 43-year relationship with a narcissist before, I finally Left, after two children, and a lifetime of pain and suffering, I really wish this was stuff that was taught in high school. I wish there were classes for young people, not just relying on friends, family, whatever. If there were relationship classes, it would help to alleviate so many miserable relationships. If my kids were younger and unmarried, I would shut them down and make them watch, read, learn about red flags for narcissism, trauma, bonding, all of the things to look out for so that they could be happy in their relationships.

Pay attention to the way life feels so lonely with them...thats a telltale sign.

Sadly, there's no doubt in my mind that narcissism is now the norm in the society I live in (USA).

Huge blowout with my narc tonight. He tried every possible narc tactic including SCREAMING that my only sister who's been dead for TWENTY years hated me..and her at the time 2 & 4 year old babies hate me too. I just laughed and said "you have no idea what my relationship was with my sister. She actually tried to warn me against marrying a weak man like you".

Regardless of all the personality traits and meta communication.. The greatest indicator that you have while communicating with a narcissist is your own body.. Trust it..

I was married to a narc. We bought a home, and in the living room we had a stereo system, which my husband owned remarriage. The tape deck died and you couldn't buy them any more. I remembered I had one and while he was at work I bought it out and wired it in as a surprise for him. He was furious. He told me I was not 'allowed' to have that in the living room. It was not to stay there. I knew if I kept it there, he would break it as he had done so many of my things. I am so glad to be divorced. And guess what I have in my living room.......My tape deck!!

If someone suggests they're doing something wrong or says/does something that causes them shame, they attack...

This explains why I avoid being the centre of attention. That predatory gaze is unsettling

Conclusion:there is no love at first sight...

Tell them the word "NO". Narcs have a real problem with the word no. The second best way, is to give them silence and maintain eye contact. See what happens.

I am a NARCHOUND . I can smell them a mile away.

Never discredit your intuition

Turn around quickly and catch them in a jealous sneer.🤨

I have known narcissists and now I can always tell if someone is watching me. It's that simple people please pay attention to this whether it's a narc or sociopath or just someone who wants to take advantage of you

Danish, you have exactly described these narcs literally pushing their way into your home. I have learned the red flags from you, knowledge I never got from therapists or drs. It is both wonen and men who show up an hour early at your door when it was a planned meeting at a restaurant. It is walking through your house uninvited criticizing everything in sight. It is filling every space with junk, computers, boxes, sports equipment, etc.in your home. Because you have educated us I noticed the excessive compliments (love bombing), mirroring (they like everything you like, went to same school, same birthdate, no end to this trick) It is scary. I have also noticed that glazed stare. If you call them on it, they gaslight you and will deny actions/words spoken minutes earlier. They will also steal thingsfrom your home as simple as items in your bathroom like decorator paper towels,candles etc. Talk about crazy making! I have begun to think they are actually dangerous if left unchecked. I notice some exoerts have added sadism to the dark triad. Our only defense is knowledge, going no contact, dont open the door, and stick to your boundaries. These people are vampires. I would be interested in your opinion as to how, why this appears to be a fast growing phenomena of epic proportions. Thank you again.

Narcometer working 💯

It is very rare to find genuine kind people these days, its a scary world, majority of the people are jekyll & hyde

Wow! This is so accurate. You can feel something is off at the beginning and that feeling gets stronger as time goes by. It reminds me of a woman who came into my church who started pressuring me to get involved with her business. I did some research and found out it was an MLM. I abruptly put a stop to her pushy attempts and kept solid boundaries. That was 2 years ago. Last week she tried to push a new product on me, and I said I’d look it up on the internet when I got home. It was another MLM 😮. Narcissistic people are very money 💰 hungry. Beware. Has this happened to you? And thank you Danish for educating us. MLM is multi level marketing. Pyramid scheme.

I spot narcissist because immediately they show their control personality. Letting you know that they are the ones that are going to be in charge. And I am right 99.9% of the time. The only difference is I didn’t know about narcissistic abuse until a couple of years ago. I didn’t know what it was called.I just know there’s a lot of people out there that are manipulative, and controlling and downright selfish and evil, and have no regard for anything but themselves. And that’s my take on it.thumbs up👍

My narc MIL. I can definitely resonate with the pressure feeling. She’s ALWAYS telling us what to do. “Go walk the dog. Go play a game. Go do this. Go do that” while she sits on her ass. She’s also extremely judgmental. I tense up immediately being around her.

This is so helpful, Danish. True, there's a pressure and doesn't feel quite right. The narcometer within your body never fails, trust your gut. Thank you ❤😊

So very true "force Entry", "try to charm", "act strict or busy yet forcing moves", "no eye contact yet someone gazing when i least notice"

I am so against ANYONE coming into my home that there is no way I would allow a narc to trick me into giving an invitation. My home is my sanctuary and that is one thing that is impossible to breach. There's only two people who are allowed in and one of them is 6 years old, so I'm pretty bullet proof when it comes to someone bamboozling me that way. After a decade of narc abuse from my ex, I know he would want to push his way into my life again but since going no contact earlier this year, I'm not expecting any trouble from him. I know that sometime in the future I'll be crossing paths with him again due to things out of my control, but as I've been working on recovering from the abuse and my exhaustion surrounding it, he doesn't stand a chance. He really ruined me from having any kind of relationships with anyone, apart from my work colleagues who are all decent people. I'm not sad about that because I cherish my alone time and my solitude and I realise that I don't need anyone apart from the handful of people I have now who love and care for me naturally.

My narc ex is still my colleague and the smear campaign is immense and the battle I'm fighting is eternal. One thing I also found very weird at the beginning, that I always loved asking people for help if I was stuck, and was looking forward to learn something new through all the information. But when it came to ask him about something, my body refused, and I was getting really anxious. Because somewhere deep down, your body knows you're aiding a narc's ego with asking for something he knows and you don't! And it's the last thing anyone wants to do, to feed into their egocentric false self. It was genuinely a natural body reaction...very fascinating!

OMG yes. When you are in the presence of a narcissist, you will feel like they are trying to get a pulse or temperature check read on you to determine how they approach you. This is chilling to feel and it’s so creepy to know. I’ve called out my ex when I’ve felt him do that, he denied it of course, but got quiet sometimes too. But this does happen OMG ! Yes, my ex would tell me I’m crazy when I would bring up things, and it just added to the clouds in my head. So thankful I can see it now 😵‍💫

That look is unmistakeable. They don’t blink. They don’t have a smile or scowl. They just stare intently, like a tiger that thinks he’s spotted movement, but isn’t yet hunting. They are studying you to look for a weakness. Normal people give them a pass, and when your eyes meet, might give them a smile to relieve that mild discomfort. You’ve caught them, and their smile return is a second or two too slow. Just run.

What I wished I was taught at an early age was that the people who don't change and won't change are the very people you have to take out in your life. My optimistic and empathic nature became my downfall. I always gave second chances, third chances and benefit of doubt. I always was hopeful that a person of destructive nature can turn their life around. That all changed when I became the victim. Zero tolerance.

Still learning...finding I am still falling into the traps of narcissists. Thank you.

Omg, I thought it was just me, I didn't know this was a thing! Thanks for validating this.

Those are good initial warnings to look out for. In reality, the more dealings you have with them, the more you build up a picture that something isn't right. It's never too late to step back: remove yourself from the situation!

There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail.com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........

How to lose a narcissist in 10 seconds or less: Act completely indifferent and apathetic to anything they say or do. They feed off your emotions. "You're so emotional! You don't even care at all do you?! Why are you so angry?! You never loved me! I don't have time for your feelings! You think you've got problems?! You're not listening to me! Everything is always all about you, what about me?! You don't even care how I'm feeling! I need to get some sleep! I don't have time for this right now! You're so sensitive! You're not fun anymore! Please stop harassing me leave me alone, you're crazy! You tricked me! You're nothing like the person I first met! You're fake! You're a liar! You don't know what love is!" It's all bait. All of it.

Being with a covert for 15 years and educating myself for almost a year...Now I can smell narcs miles away! And they are everywhere!!!!

I met my narcissist when I was only 18 and fell in love. We were married for nearly 20 years but in the end it was not bearable any more and now I have been married happily for 35 years to just the best man I could hope for.

This explains why I always felt "pushed" all my life but did not know where it was coming from. It means for me now that the interaction has not enough motivation for me.

I never knew any of this when I was married to one for 25 years. After I got away, close to the end of my 2nd narcissistic relationship, I began learning about it. It was such a relief to find out that I wasn’t crazy!!! They try to make you think that you are, and doubt yourself so badly. Now it’s been 10 years and I haven’t dated anyone. I don’t know if I could ever trust anyone enough to give them my heart, ever again. But I’m working on it as I heal.

As a longtime viewer and fan, and as a person for whom giving criticism does not come easily ( *because of* narc abuse) ... the sounds; chimes and dings, are a negative for me. "Just sayin'" ;-) Thanks for your content. You've been a source of help for me.

I've met some like what you're describing, but I've also met the more cunning ones that don't move too fast don't want to invade your space but insist that you invade theirs. They can now control your environment. It's also a way to control the discard when it happens. Now you're dependent on them and at their mercy.

Danish you are the BOMB. I love listening to you. I always learn something new to add to my “toolbox” when dealing with the narcissists in my life. I also love how you speak a lot about narcissistic family members. My mom and sister are both narcissists. It helps so much to learn more about the family dynamic of this. Thank you !!!

You are so right about this. They cannot help their controlling nature.

When I first met my ex, instead of normal small talk or asking me to lunch, he abruptly asked me to go to Thanksgiving with him, which I thought was so bizarre. And I had plans. For years after we actually got together he would be so abusive and say I deserved it because of how I "ruined everything day one by being so rude I blew him off on Thanksgiving!"

YES! I was back and forth about someone displaying narc behavior- and that pit in my stomach was telling me all along what was going on. Thank you for that support!

Extremely good advice. Thank you.

They are paranoid and accuse you of doing something your not even doing, then from way over there they disrespect and instigate a fight with you, so when you defend yourself and challenge them back what do they do? Still from way over and because they are so mature, they are throwing you the middle finger, while telling you to shut the f up, then run off like cowards to go call the police to accuse you of this ridiculous thing that they have absolutely no proof of you doing. It's also absolutely mind boggling that these chorizos don't have more important things to do and a good thing that there's security cameras capturing it all.

The side look is 100% true. Its everthing demonic mixed together: jealousy, disdain, aggression. Its like virtual violence. They forcefully want you to do something. If you are a normal person and act normally, - normal means a general attitude of "I'm happy with my own energy, I'm happy and acceptant of the normal flow of things, I dont want anything from anybody, just happy to be alive" -, that's what bothers the narcissist. The demonic narcissist has its own "movie" playing in its sick inner world where you play the role of a slave. They dont know what humanness is and therefore dont treat you as a human. You are interrupting their movie play so to say. A normal criminal would say or do something that would bring him or her into jail. But a narcissits demonic energy makes the narcissit resist a definite criminal act and instead overpower you with looks, drive you crazy and make you completely gaga and compliant. Thank you Danish for your daily vlogs. I notice narcissits also by the way I feel like saying out loud: what the hell do you want?? What is it you really want??

My narcissist husband could never make eye contact with me or anyone , always looked like he didn't want you to notice his evil, who he really was, and was annoyed by your conversation and presence, except when it benefited him

My father, by ‘best’ friend all through HS, and now I’m married to one, and after almost 24 yrs with my husband-only with the help of watching your videos-now I give what I get. I speak in the same tone as he does with me-he doesn’t like that. Too bad, neither do I. And if he gives me a stare, I stare back and he always breaks the gaze first. I thank you for your knowledge and hoping things will eventually get better now that I’m learning from you and I truly can’t thank you enough ☺️

This is so true! Danish you are amazing. I kept going because I couldn't understand why I had this feeling because he was super polite, respectful, etc.. But much later when I found myself literally in hell I understood what that was.

💯 i knew from the beginning, i had red flags and a bad gut feeling and ignored it ,i blame myself what was to come ,i still havant recovered for 4 years and have cptsd

I always thought the narcissist stared at me because of my disability. Now I know he was staring at me because he looked at me as prey. How sick?

Oh my gosh I totally get the staring thing!! My dad is a full blown narcissist and one day my mom and I were just sitting together at the kitchen table watching something on her iPad and literally he gets up and walks into the other room, stands by the doorway, and just starts staring at us… for no reason. It was the creepiest thing I’d ever seen. My mom and I were super uncomfortable lol

Narco-meter ....I will be using this one henceforth

4 out of 4 narcs I know and knew in the past, have chronic lower back pain. I noticed before I only have back pain when I'm nervous, and remember asking some of them, are they nervous about something? The thing is, they are ALWAYS nervous! Keeping up a false self is extremely hard work and even harder to make sure you don't slip, because then it all comes crumbling down. Be it another red flag! If it's not an injury and it's chronic, then it's 99% you're dealing with a narc!

It's so weird, I started thinking about the last narcissist I broke up with over a year ago. I've been nonstop studying about narcissist since then. I somehow knew he had to be thinking about me and knew I was going to hear from him. Sure enough this morning I received a text from him which I deleted right away. I know he's going to drive through the parking lot where I work next. I know I'm very sensitive anyway but so gross when after studying all these videos when you know exactly the pattern these demon possessed freaks routinely do. Nothing new with them. Just on the prowl for new supply!!! Who knows how many others he's reached out to. SOOOO immensely grateful for the education I'm able to get from all the informational videos otherwise I would probably think he actually likes me which is not what it's about with a narcissist. It's ALL A LIE WITH THEM. SOOO much happier and free without all that crap that these creeps show up with and so traumatic to get through. Thank you so much for your help ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Ur so right!!! That look!!! I always wondered why my mother and older sister were LAWAYS staring at me. Then they hurry n look away. I’ve mentioned that my entire life. Super creepy!!!!

A big thank you Danish for this succinct run-down of the early feelings of pressure that come with the narc - the intensity and repetition of what they want, then followed by visits bringing things to reciprocate. I just want to push back. A red flag to watch out for!

Here is a topic; how to detect and avoid induced conversation. I have noticed they show up or approach you very nicely to in some way reject you. For instance, they will ask you how you are or how were your holidays to leave or interrupt you when you are answering and leave you in the middle of the first sentence. Thanks, Danish. ❤

Very insightful as always. I love it because of your method of pointing attention to the wound, although painful and uncomfortable, leads to who, how and why they are causing it, which brings alleviation and a lasting healing. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Danish.

This is exactly what it feels like! Very accurately described.

This is so right about my bff from 10 years!!

You hit a nail on the head again Denis, the 3 points you mentioned are exactly what I have also experienced. I just didn’t know what it was back then because my head denied my gut feeling, until it was too late. The lesson learnt for me is checking with my body.

Ur the Best Danish Each And Every Word Ur Saying Has Happened To Me Now Recently Again I Have Witnessed A Charming Narcissist And Absolutely I Get Butterflies In My Stomach But It Was Also Pressure I Immediately Got Cautious

Had a huge synchronicity with watching this video, just after cancelling an appointment with a healing practitioner, that responded to my cancellation of the appointment in a pressuring way, trying to convince me to go to the appointment. I found it very creepy. He does osteopathy energy work. I'm glad I didn't go there!

The last 10 years narcs have tried to invite themselves over to my house and I never realised why they were targeting me only.

Yes, the eyecontact ! The different ways, you mentioned it. My mother never looks people or me in the eyes. And rolling her eyes constantly while talking about herself, and laying her hand on her chest. My sons father and my mother have the same face expression when they are screaming with the purpose of correcting or controlling me, they squeeze their eyebrows together, tightened their mouth like a chikens bud.., and there is lightning in their eyes, body tence, because they are ready to take it to the next level violence so i understand and comply to their rules. You are so god at this, so many details.

Yes the Narcissistic rage is terrifying my ex wife of 30 years would go into her rage for seemingly no reading eyes bulged out veins on neck and foraged blew up screamed hit spit like a possessed demon ! Now that I look back I'm sure it was a cover up for cheating behavior or not getting her way or how she thought she should be treated like royalty and the entitlement she deserved. Demon possessed no doubt !

After talking to him for 2 weeks before we even met, he comes out with how he has such strong feelings for me, that he knows I'm not there yet but he will wait. Flags started popping up all around me but I ignored them. Normally I wouldn't have but there was just something about him...everything was bizarre and I ignored it.

Yea. It’s like a lot of them share this same look. When you see this look multiple times from them, you easily recognize it. Dupers Delight.

They stare at you even if they not facing you.

I know that look of a predator looking at you! I have a friend that fits every thing you are saying. Thank you for validating my feelings and thoughts. The pain is real.

I can’t believe how many there are around! It’s frightening!

Most valuable video of my day. Can relate to every word. Thank you for putting it into words!

Butterflies in my stomach? More like sick to my stomach, so I guess I'm good!

I needed to know that when I met my frenemy. She was the "nicest" person I saw, note I said "Nice" not "Kind". Always there for others, always smiling but something always felt off with her. First, she likes boasting about how nice she is with others and how people are not grateful for her efforts, Second, each time she gave you something or a favor, she later felt entitled to expect something from you and don't dare say her no nor make any resistance or you will face her anger. Third and that is what really devasted me, she was very, I mean VERY passive-aggressive. She was nice when we were alone but mean towards me the second her other friends showed up, one day she publicly mocked me on a public forum and called me stupid because I expressed a concern she didn't understand. I was devasted to the point I never spoke in public again. I cut all contact with her or I would have punched her in the face if I saw her again. I will not call her a narcissist but she indeed had all the traits of a covert narcissist. Her niceness always came with strings attached.

Thank you Danish for teaching us viewers of your channel. I learn a lot from you and thank you for sharing your gift of knowledge with us. God bless you

They stare at you a good 10 secs first view contact sizing you up, seeing if you squirm locked target heat sensor missile engaged you're doomed!

They Are Most Charming , Confident , Joyfull Person At First Glance

You are definitely spot on in all of this. 💯💯🎯

Thanks Danish you have completely and literally stated what I have felt. Thanks 👍

I am glad you made this video. It has been difficult for me to put my finger on what is taking place with helping a woman who is caught up in a horrific abusive marriage. Her husband broke the arms of three of their children, locks her in the house, takes her phone away from her, rapes her, yells at her, stalks her... and she has been emotionally beaten down for 20 years of this abuse. Yet, there is another person who is trying to "help her" (a female "friend") who has been triggering terrible unnerving feelings inside me that tells me she is a "flying monkey" who really doesn't have this poor abused woman's best interest at heart. My gut is telling me she is undermining the escape process, messing with the mind of this abused woman as though she is protecting the abusive husband, instead. It is very uncomfortable to consider this is likely true, and I don't know how to expose her true motive, whatever it is. She is very clever, but I have caught her in half-truth's and on several occasions she avoids questions I ask her by changing the subject. She told me that she remains in contact with the abusive husband because she is "playing him" to gain information on him that she can use to manipulate him more... for the sake of this horribly abused woman's "benefit." What I sense is a triangulated situation where the poor abused woman is being secretly exploited and set up for more ongoing abuse. I don't understand what the motive is. I don't understand the "flying monkey" pay-off to deliberately manipulate a woman who is suffering at the hands of an abusive overt narcissistic monster. Moreover, I don't know how to intercede to expose this flying monkey and her motive, or her real connection with the husband. I think there might be a hidden relationship between the flying monkey and the abused woman's husband. But I can't expose it. I don't know how to do it. So, I stand back and watch what is happening as I try to gain as much information as I can in an attempt to crack open this flying monkey's true motives. It's a mess. The police have already been involved several times. The husband already ended up in jail once. But his abused wife turned around and bailed him out immediately after he was arrested. I'm at a loss with this situation. But your video definitely struck an instinct inside me that correlates with what you describe. I don't know how to help this poor woman anymore.

Around covert narcissist you feel something but can't pinpoint what they're doing.

Got it. Thank you very much. I'm out of my Narc relationship

You are sooooooo spot on. Thank you so much for your channel

Great lesson Darnish! Thank you

Thank you. Hindsight is 20/20.