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Yes, I remember my 4 year old daughter excitedly offering her dad a lick of her ice cream in a cone she just got. But he bit the whole top off in one bite and left hardly any in the cone. She was so hurt and cried and cried. I asked him why? He said, oh she didn't need it all. (cold) I secretly bought her another one later when he wasn't around. She never offered again. This was just the early days of the start of troubles. I never knew about narcissism then.

Sitting at the dinner table...the back of a hand smacks a child out of her chair and on to the floor. The heavy metal chair is knocked over as well from the force of the blow. NO warning at all!! She looks in the direction of the blow to see her father say..'stop chewing so loud.' >> I WAS SIX!! Now, many years later, NO contact, and perfect peace.

OMG! I am now 71 yrs old - my poor brother has been dead for four years - we were compaions in a life controlled by two narcissistic parents. I never knew until I watched this - that there were other people out there who suffered the same physical and mental/emotional abuse we did. I feel as if a burden has been taken out of my hands.Thank you- and thank all of you for letting me know I truely am not alone - and the suffering was not because there was something wrong with me.

It's so good that someone finally saw the value in exposing how narcissistic people deal with food. It's an important trademark that has been overlooked for way too long.

My mom shoved an ice cream bar in my little sisters mouth, almost choking her because she didnt want to eat it after she had already given it to her. She was crying, gagging and only stopped when I screamed "youre going to kill her!". I was 5 years old but thats a memory that will forever be a part of our childhood. No child should ever experience the wrath and control of a narcissist.

Thank you for sharing, Danish! Its so very true. My ex ate like a pig with his hands and ate tons. While pregnant I got two scoops of ice cream in a waffle cone. He said he never saw anyone eat so much in his life. I wish I could have said, "Get a mirror!", but I knew I would pay the price. He is long gone now so I win.

My dad would harass everyone at the table, so my mom started serving food buffet style and we’d all eat in the tv room. He would focus more on watching the show than on thinking up ways to torture us all.

Your story of being force-fed and vomiting reminded me of the time my narc female parent forced me to eat beef liver. I found it disgusting, and that night I threw up in my bed. The narc parent yelled that I had done it on purpose. Even at seven years old, I thought: "If I vomited on purpose, it wouldn't be in my own bed."

That story of your dad shoving food In Your mouth, then hitting you, is heartbreaking. You never deserved anything like that 😔

Weaponizing food is a war crime, even in families. 😢

I remember being at a restaurant with my Malignant Narcissist mother. My father and husband were also present. My mother had just yelled at and humiliated our waitress to tears. As was fairly common for her. I calmly and quietly told my mother that when you do that and ask to have the food recooked, the kitchen staff commonly spit in your food. She turned PALE and never did it in my presence. I got so sick of apologizing to people that she abused. Eventually went , no contact until her death 14 years later. Best thing I did for myself and my children and grandchildren.

My husband told me he wouldn't join me for our rare dinner together. I went out with a girlfriend. He woke up (worked nights) and walked passed me to the kitchen, looking for left overs. He stormed toward me. "What did you eat?" (Having learned calmness) "you said you didn't want to ear w me. I went for pizza with a friend" he exploded. "You were supposed to eat alone!!" "So sorry dear, you're my husband, not my daddy." I'm sooooo relieved that I'm not alone in the crazy kitchen story. I'm grateful to you Danish. You have no idea what you have talked me through, sat with me during, and let me cry over. You've been a true friend through the struggle. He's gone now. And I'm so grateful for your companionship, but sorry for your experiences.

Yes they control. They love to control everything and everyone. Food is an excellent example.

my grandparents raised me. grandpa made dinner so miserable that we all just ate in separate rooms with a tv tray watching our own show. Sad stuff to grow up with

Many of my traumas happened at the dinner table when I was young. I still have flashbacks from them when I eat at a table. I made sure my own children enjoyed dinner time, and I took away that control my parents had over me. It helped me heal. We laughed, we talked, and enjoyed our food. If my children didn’t like a certain food, I didn’t demand they eat it, or make them sit for hours at the table until they ate it. Or send them to bed with no food, or lock them out the house because they didn’t eat something I cooked. Wow, this video was eye opening for me.

You described my last two narc relationships. Im four years out and been single since and the peace is priceless. Ive educated myself thouroughly during this time and now feel i can spot a narc very quickly now and can just observe others and see them. They purposely kill every thing that is normally a peaceful, fulfilling, joyful experience. So glad for videos like this. Really they probably saved my life. ~Still happily alone at peace.~

After our divorce my ex told a mutual friend that he was sorry for me because he made me get used to fancy restaurants that I would no longer be able to afford. Like watching him pigging out and getting drunk was such a treat. And now he can't even afford rent, a car or clothes

I have had food smashed and smeared into my face more times than I'd like to remember from a narcissistic EX husband. No contact 1 year 3 months and 8 days. I even divorced him with NO CONTACT. I left many family heirlooms behind, but I never once laid eyes on him since ,after escaping him and his abuse. Thank you Danish.❤

When my son was maybe eight or so, he learned about germs at school. Oh, and he was autistic. That night at dinner, he dropped his fork on the floor and wanted to get a clean one out of the drawer. My husband would not let him, kept taking the fork that fell on the floor and slamming it on the table, over and over, would not let him eat if he didn't use that fork. Finally, my son and I ran for the car and drove toward the nearest town (we lived in the country) thinking we would go out for dinner instead. Otherwise we would have been there ALL night with this fork thing! But guess what. My husband got in the OTHER car and chased us for an hour in his car, with my son crying and looking over his shoulder out the back of the car the whole time. We even got lost out in the middle of nowhere, no cell phones or GPS then, gravel roads, sun going down. Finally I recognized something and was able to drive back home. We went to bed without dinner, it was dark by then. My husband pulled in the driveway behind us and acted like nothing just happened.

My nex didn't display so many of these behaviours (except for nasty comments about how much I was apparently eating, and being fairly uptight about table manners), but what he did on many occasions, if he finished first (which he normally did) was go and get the nail clippers and start clipping his toenails right beside me. I expressed my disgust at this every time, and politely requested that he refrain from this. I eventually managed to stop this behaviour by breaking up with him. Coming up to four years free later on this year!! 🎉

My ex-husband used numbers 3, 4 and 5 techniques while eating a meal. He watched how large my bites of food were, commented in my portions, etc. And I was always slim and fit, after having 3 children together. He judged my speech and grammar (I'm college educated) The control made meals as a family uncomfortable and sad - and he never cooked. I did. 9 years free! 😊

My mum was the #3 to the extreme. We had to dress for dinner, be at the formal dining table at exactly 6:15 or we did not get dinner. No speaking at the table, EVER. Only adults spoke. We could not leave anything on our plate, had to ask to be excused from the table, the list is endless. If we didn’t use the proper fork or made a slurp sound while eating soup, we were excused from the table and to go straight to bed. We all had a food stash she never knew about. We were raised as if the Queen was going to show up at any time. Every morning at 6am we were weighed because “no one respects a fat person!”! Absolutely mental.

I'm glad you made this video !!! Here is what I observed in my malignant narc. [1] Narc would chew with mouth open, [2] narc would make gulping noises, grunting noises while stuffing his face, [3] narc would NEVER compliment the chef, or say thank you for the free meal, [4] narc would pass gas during the meal, yes, frequently farting at the table, [5] narc would make childish chewing noises while chewing the food with his mouth open, [6] narc had horrible hygiene and could be smelled at a great distance, the smell was horrible like some kind of zoo animal, this destroys everyone else's meal, [7] narc would not wash his hands, ever, and when reaching for a communal serving dish he would insert his fingers (deliberately) onto food surfaces, or touch food items which others will eat which is disgusting, [8] narc would study the facial expressions of others when he performs one of these boundary violations, [9] narc had several favorite meals, one of them was tacos. Narc would insist on browning the meat (for 3 people), and instead of using 1 packet of spice he would add perhaps 4 or even 6 packets of spice mix, this really makes the taco meat inedible for most people, [10] when making coffee in a standard US coffee maker the narc would use 10 times the normal amount of coffee grounds, making the coffee extremely strong and undrinkable, [11] this narc would make a single taco on his plate and would use about 1/2 quart of sour cream on 1 single taco, an enormous amount of sour cream, [12] narc would cough and sneeze at the dinner table without covering his mouth or even turning his head away from the table, [13] this narc would insist on discussing the most awkward, uncomfortable and disturbing subjects during the meal, [14] the narc was extremely haughty and rude 100% of the time, angry, loud, filthy and suspicious of others. **** Trying to be nice to someone like this will NOT fix them. They will continue pushing boundaries until their last breath. The solution is to grey rock them and get away from that person, Far, Far Away. Good Luck :D !!! ******

I suffer from anorexia due to stuff like this and worse. I am currently in counseling and dealing with all the toxicity associated with food. This is excruciating for me, but iam pushing forward and proud of myself. Thank you for posting this video and bringing to light the suffering many people have with childhood traumas. Many blessings to all, and may we all experience peace and love in our lives. 🙏🏻💞

That covert criticized my healthy eating styles and fasting, he refused to eat left overs, then when I cooked a gormet meal for him, he picked things out of his plate etc etc! I literally got up and left the table, I did not make myself a plate because I refuse to break bread with darkness! I now know that is what it was

So true. Watching him eat is absolutely disgusting. I was kinda paranoid because he’d get mad if I crunched chips. Finally I asked coworkers if I crunched too loudly. They were like they’re chips,they’re supposed to crunch🤷🏽‍♀️?

I grew up with a father that had deep mental illness. If we hit the plate too hard with a silverware, you better believe the fear was instilled. Couldn't walk too loud. Couldn't talk too loud. He also told stories, as you did about your father, and you felt you were the person he was mad at. It could get scary. Almost as if he was reliving it. Not sure if it was bipolar or what. I choose to have sympathy for him as I knew his childhood. He studdered as a child and his mother made fun of this. He tried to tell his mother something inappropriate a priest said and he was slapped across the face. He drew as a child and was extremely talented. My grandmother ripped up his drawings. He was made to pay rent and his brother was not. He was teased profusely by his older brother (tortured many times with hot sauce as he slept) and felt his mother ignored it. He was made to feel he should immediately move out at 18. With all that I know, I chose to have sympathy for him. Cause this was the same father that knew before he died that he was hard to live with. He professed this to my mother. He worked so hard and I saw the deep trauma and I felt he truly cared for me and my brothers. He never ripped up my drawings. He took me to an art shop to buy whatever I wanted and wantedto grow my talents that I probably inherited from him. Encouraged me and was my biggest fan when I started my own business. Let my mom buy whatever she wanted at the store. My father helped many people in his life. My father worked so hard that as a widow my mother lives a comfortable life. He said his children were his greatest treaure. He bought self help books and tried continually to help my brothers with their drug and alcohol addictions. He never gave up on them. He wanted them to be somebody. I learned to take care of and cherish everything that I own and take pride. I chose to look at all of those things. I feel there was a deep inner struggle in my father's mind and I have deep sympathy for that.

My ex would always reply when asked if he liked dinner “ I’m still thinking about it”. This blew my mind.

My brother, who is a full blown narcissist, used to watch me like a hawk at the table, narrow his eyes at me, clench his teeth and scowl at me while I ate. He would watch everything I did from cutting the food, to putting it on the fork. He made sure Mum was otherwise distracted such as looking at her own plate. It was very uncomfortable to eat. my brother was 5 years older than me in Ballarat, Victoria, Australia, and he went on to abuse me every single day. All I did was to be born, that was enough for him though. He is going blind now, I dont wish that on anyone but he is still an asshole.

My father was - I have now learned - what would be called a Malignant Narcissist. Much of his Dinnertime behavior was in deed inappropriate and my mother never even suggested he change. Alot of what he did away from the table was also unacceptable, and for some reason was mainly aimed at me, his Daughter, rather than at his wife or sons. To this day I don't understand why, and I am now seventy. Thanks for your channel. Nancy

My narcissistic parent used to make Christmas a living hell. Every year she used to relish the phrase “a fine Christmas this turned out to be”. Every single year, she was waiting for a chance to spoil it and turn it back on me. Every single year.

When I thought I have heard it all.....this goes back in time with my mother and father as well. I got swalloing issues and I don't feel hungry when I don't feel safe. Thank you for this one ❤ I feel less alone 🙏

Im so sorry everyone has had to deal with asinine people. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! Our dad chose dinnertime to yell at us. Either gobble food down, or just be "not" hungry. He took his own life in 76. I had other issues as well. At 40 years of age, I read a few books and got some wisdom, like it's not my fault. I'm in a really happy place now that I'm divorced from a master narcissist. No more. I'm not going to give any man a chance to know what a great and loving person I am. My cat can benefit from that. He even abused her behind my back. I just hope all who have suffered being abused in one form or another can find peace for the rest of your days❤️

My mother fed me with a spoon until I went to school ! Way too long ! She would pretend to taste every spoonful eating most of it in the process ! She then complained to everyone including my father how she couldn't get me to eat anything ! At the same time telling me I had eaten my whole dinner and couldn't possibly be hungry ! She also told me that cleaning my teeth with a little bleach or bathroom cleaner would keep them nice and white ! Since my memories have returned in full force and I have processed the horrors ! Some call this the dark night of the soul others prefer to describe it as having been to the gates of Mordor . Ten years ago I moved to another country I made a conscious effort everyday to listen to my body experience and release the pain and now I am free ! Although there are always things to overcome and toxic thought patterns to break ! I love life and life loves me ! Blessings to all who are on the journey and to all of those who are about to embark !

Danish, it’s like you were there at my childhood home dinners. The narcissist was exacting about how to eat, what to eat and what to say at the table. There was a lot of criticizing and ‘correcting’. When I got older and felt less inclined to go along with all the rigid rules, it apparently showed up on my face. When I was 12 or 13, my father took severe offense at my facial expression so he picked up and threw my dinner plate across the room, over my mother’s head and into the wall. He banished me from eating with the family henceforward and denounced me for causing the trouble even though he’d endangered my mother by hurling a plate over head. I know he denounced me to make sure that everyone at the table, my younger siblings, blamed me and not him. He and my mother denounced me a lot. Yes, for most of my life I felt unacceptable as a person because of the scapegoating but I felt liberated the day he banished from eating with him. For a moment I rejoiced.

YOUR presentation made me cry in remembering dinner in my home; Peace to both of us. God bless you;

Disgusting eating habits BUT I found out or rather figured out that every time we argued he would make me a plate of food. I realized since he did not want me in the kitchen that it was highly likely he was putting crap in my food. He would sit and watch me eat with a smirk that I did not understand. I understand now. I put two and two together. In Jamaica we having a saying about not eating food from your enemies.

1. That's their extreme levels of greed. My husband also used to wolf his food down. Now I understand that it was his obscene greed showing up at the table.

It’s goes beyond greed, cause they get no joy or satisfaction from food or anything they’re just dumping it into their empty soul

I’m so sorry you suffered this abuse as a child. My mother is a narcissist, and I ended up in a string of long-term live-in relationships until about six years ago, when the last one ended, but I also have a child with one of them, which means I’m stuck with two narcissists in my family life, because we have equally split custody. My child’s father does exert control over the poor kid during mealtimes. Occasionally, despite being separate, we go out to dinner as a family, and I have witnessed him snapping at our child for the most absurd reasons. But, for me, even after all the spousal abuse I’ve suffered, my mom has done the most damage. In terms of food and eating, her controlling, manipulating, criticizing and judging gave me an unhealthy relationship with food, but of course, in her mind, she’s perfect and nothing is her fault. It sounds silly perhaps, but her loud chewing - the smacking noise she makes when she eats her cereal, drives me crazy. She’s obsessed with eating only healthy foods and having self-control over one’s appetite, and she lets everyone know when she thinks you don’t need to be eating what you have or so much of it. She’ll hover around and say things like “that’s a lot of butter!”. Oh it is, mother? Well, guess what, it’s not for you, so mind your own business! In recent years I’ve been telling her off when she’s being abusive, and we fight a lot these days, but I actually wish I’d done this more when I was younger, and had the courage to stand up for myself and not care about what she thought of me. She’s cold-hearted, cruel, never supported me especially when I needed it most and even deliberately sabotaged me at times. The worst part is that my dad is still married to her and she’s got him completely believing that there’s nothing wrong with their dynamic, but the poor man, who has fibromyalgia and still works full time AND is a care-giver for sick family, absolutely must cook every meal for her/them. He will get home after a long day and she, who works from home on the computer, says to him “I’m hungry. I’ve been waiting hours to eat until you got home!” And oh my lord is she the pickiest! My dad is a great cook, but she will nitpick everything without the slightest bit of shame. She’ll do her nasty little laugh as she says something like “ It’s not as good as the last time you made it. Did you use the same kind of (insert ingredient here)? I think it would be better if you cooked it longer. And I can’t eat the (food); it’s too bitter.”. Somehow she’s an expert at cooking without the experience. That’s narcissists for ya! I could probably write an entire book on her, and all the narcissist exes, but alas, they’ve drained all my energy.

I got to the point where I couldn't bear to sit & eat with him. The horrendous table manners, noises & talking with food in his mouth made me cringe. Plus he would eat at lightning speed leaving me sitting alone at a restaurant for example to run outside for a cigarette. Or sit there blowing smoke on my meal because I eat slowly. Nightmare 🤢

My Narcissistic husband would drive me crazy constantly saying, "I eat to live, I don't live to eat" even though I'd cook beautiful , delicious meals, I'd never be praised for in any way. Then, he'd gorge himself with my food and stab at it in weird ways that I and my children would be so irritated that we couldn't stand having him at the table to hear him or see him. They are sick and sickening.

I'm so sorry this happened to you! My stepfather punched me in the face so hard, he flipped my chair backwards, he then kneeled over me, sitting on my stomach and beat me til I was unconscious. I woke long after it was dark, the table was clear, everyone had left to do their own thing, the chair was back upright at the table ... I dizzily struggled to sit up, confused, disoriented, hurting from head to toe... I got up to my feet, stumbled to my room, threw up and passed out again. I don't remember much more. I was 8 ... I didn't want to eat pickled pigs feet ... Something they already knew I would throw up after being forced to eat (which I was also forced to eat my vomit as well), but they didn't care. Both my mom and stepdad were narcissistically abusive. I'd like to say this was a one time event, but sadly... No... My entire childhood was full of physical/sexual abuse, torture and narcissistic abuse. I wish that I could help others, I wish my voice could be heard and my story told too. Maybe, one day... 😢 Be blessed. ❤

My parents taught me good tablemanners, but I was never traumatised by it. I enjoyed dinner. I feel sorry for people who went through this..

They love having the children crying at the dinner table , after the kids cry , that’s when they are happy.

Constant critic of the food is one of the Narc ‘s habits I learnt my husband who is grandiose narc never appreciated in my 20 yrs of marriage I am an Indian and Indian meals need a lot of ingredients and prep time I was juggling full time jobs and my two young children still he was expecting me to serve him Royal meals and breakfast Dinner time is a chaos Thank god I now gray rock and learnt it’s his curse to not appreciate what’s in the plate when so many go to sleep with one meal a day Just appreciate the food that’s on plate and thank god that we not one among the people who starve in this world Just thank god

Many of these are familiar to me, but there are others. 1. Always being the first to take huge helpings of dishes and not caring about what remains for the rest of us. 2. Requiring the largest space at the table (usually the end), seated expansively, and leaving no room for others to place their dishes and drinks on either side in front of (him).

I had added my horror story then deleted it. I have to continue telling myself that this who hurt me can hurt me no more. Thank you Danish for all the work you do. So many pieces of my healing puzzle have come back to me so i can face it because of what you share. I'm always so shocked at what i uncover as i weigh it to what you tell us. The dinosaur hands was the first one i watched. It's been almost 6 months ago and i have retrained myself and no longer clutch myself in a shielding positron. I am sad with you and every other lovely soul who has been abused and unloved but because you accepted the call of your life to help others, there are many of us who are learning to live free for the first time and i have seen my joy beginning to be restored. God bless you, God bless each heart who reads this and God bless me and i continue my healing journey. ❤❤❤❤ to all

My heart goes out to everyone who has been through this and i hope we can all heal from the abuse. Ive had similar experiences

I'll never forget when I was about 11 years old eating at the dinner table and my father demanded my mother take me to get my bangs cut extremely short. The next thing I remember is waking up after passing out in my chair. I remember how humiliated and stupid I would look with my hair cut so short. That was 52 years ago. The emotional and mental abuse continued throughout my life. Finally, in 2023, I said no more abuse and cut all ties. He has abused every woman who has entered a close relationship with him. As he said, he will never change. I accept that but refuse to be abused anymore.

My mother used to set a timer. The rest of the family was done eating and long gone, kitchen cleaned. My mother set a timer to eat everything on my plate, almost every day. She gave me 30 mins. If I did not finish I got punished. Edit. As a teen/early 20's I was anorexic. As an older adult, I am overweight and emotionally eat.

Now I understood why I have so much anxiety about food. I’m 66 years old and never understood until now! Thank you! I can start healing now. My kitchen is a mess so I don’t have to cook. Lol! I think I will clean it tomorrow and start my healing ❤️‍🩹

I'm so sorry your father did the things he did to you. I'm glad you have risen above that abuse. You help alot of people now. Thank you ❤

My Nex ate so fast that people in restaurants would stare at him. I remember a small child was watching him with his eyes wide open in amazement. The first time I ate with him, I asked him if he grew up in a boarding house. He looked at me like i was crazy. I said I've never seen anyone eat so fast and wondered if he had to fight for his food growing up. He thought I was kidding but I wasn't.

I'm really sorry for what you've been through as a kid my dear Danish....❤ Also I am VERY proud of you and everyone else who has survived and still surviving after traumatic experiences.❤

My Nex had those weird habits also, especially the weird sounds he made while eating. As if he hadn't eaten in a week. When he knew I was trying to watch my weight, he would always bring home "treats" he knew would tempt me even when i asked him not to buy them.

Something I didn't hear mentioned that I dealt with. My father was EXTREMELY picky. He refused to eat anything other than about 5 or 6 foods he liked. But he also didn't like for us to eat anything else, even when the beans he forced us to eat constantly gave us such gastro intestinal upset we couldn't sleep. I refused to eat, lost 1/3 of my body weight, and CPS was contacted. Mom began to cook other things, but he hated me the most from then on. I was 3.

My ex-husband would control food under the guise of being healthy and decided at one point that we all become Vegan. Then it was only Organic foods because of the chemicals. Knowing that this restricted us and limited our food supply. However, after I had weight loss surgery he would give me candy bars and treats for presents and praise all the time. Pre-surgery and he would sometimes get angry when I had those things. Even telling me no very loudly in stores when I would put sweets in the cart. It all comes down to that sick need for control and to abuse which is disgusting and heartbreaking. My heart is with anyone who has been through narcissistic abuse.

Wow I like watching your videos because they are truthful. I’m sorry you had to experience the most extreme cases of narcissism. I hope you’ve found healing and joy in your life.

My narcissistic mother was HORRIBLE to wait staff growing up. I was always so embarrassed and hurt for the people she treated like dirt.

After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!

I’m 58 and living with a narc mother. I feel like a kid still because she stripped me of everything and I mean everything. I’m just a Cinderella to her. I’ve completely shut down. It’s surreal what f’ing monsters they are!!!!

I remember my first dinner gathering with the inlaws. Hubby has a brother who talked the entire time. Would not stop talking and was barely eating. He was slouched over his plate, constantly mumbling, etc.. As everyone else finished eating and started leaving the table, he started to freak out! "Why am I the last one here?" He was told that maybe if he focused on eating instead of talking constantly, he wouldn't be left alone, which was usually a good 45 minutes after the meal! He just never shut up enough to eat! Narcs LOVE the sound of their own voice and will never stop long enough to hear anyone else talk. Eating or not eating!

My parents were both born in the 1920s. My mother was born in Italy to an upper-class family, and my father in Virginia, with 14 brothers and sisters. My mother prim and propper, to a fault. My Dad, #1 fits him well, thinking my grandma was constantly busy, obviously. I luved my Dad very much and wished to live in simple ways like he projected (funny, compassionate, and had a big heart). My mom is almost identical to the way you described your father. I always felt belittled, stupid and the worse, she was a teacher and as a mom never taught me the simplist of task growing up. I was just expected to know. So much trauma, and drama from her pregnancy (tried to commit suicide twice) till the day she died. I'm 71 now, it's taken decades to recognize, acknowledge, and correct myself. How I brought up my children, Let's say I had a normal childhood as my children grew. They're in their 30s now, and I can say I did what I could, changed the cycle and my children didn't grow up with a totally traumatic life. It wasn't perfect, neither was I, but my children never new the wire coat hangers for spanking, the public humiliation, and when they were out of the house, life didn't smack them in the face nor are they always gravitating towards bad relationships, and friendships where you are always trying to please people, not youself. I live my life having raised myself didn't want that for my children. Btw I'm a single mom and diagnosed but unmedicated bi-polar person. Ty

My mother would beat me for gagging on fish. Believe me, I very well understood the food cost money and that we didn’t have enough money for us to choose different foods for dinner night. Since I understood this, I said I was fine if it meant I wasn’t allowed any dinner at all that time, so then I got beat for “being ungrateful”.

I never realised thus. But my husband had bad eating habits. He would always add lots of salt to any meal without first tasting it. So I stopped using as much in my cooking. Then he would seem to inhale his meal, he always finished before anyone else at the table. Even when we had gone out for a meal with friends. Then at the end of a meal, he would always say that ge'd eaten too much. And of course, there was always the noises he made. I think that in the 41 years of our marriage, I condition myself not to hear him.

Omg this is crazy! Everything you said was spot on!

Why am I 51 years old and just now learning this?! I was with a narcissist for 17 years before divorcing him. And I’d been diagnosed with PTSD years ago. But this, THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH FOR ME. My youngest child is now 19 and feel I am finally coming back to myself a little. But there has been a lot of damage. That is discouraging sometimes. But, no grit…no pearl. I persevere. I have three sons whom I love and a career I cherish. I am lucky. I am content.

Very interesting topic. My husband will fix his own food and not ask me if I’d like anything. He also does not wait for me to eat, so that’s another style. He also puts food right on the table. At first I thought he didn’t know any better. Now I know it’s as you said - to be disgusting and disgust others.

Omg this is so spot on Danish, my husband eats so loud but is a hypocrite because he gets made if anyone else eats loud. He breaths so heavy you can't take it it spoils my appetite. If he's in one of his moods he will do it even worse.if I say anything he will be the victim and say can I do anything right.

I am so sorry for what you have experienced! Seems traumatic. Congratulations for trying to help and inform others

Definitely have learned to keep my opinions to myself around narcissists.

So true, they look like they really have more than a thrill telling how they treat others badly. With their evil grin of satisfaction.

My mother got angry at me when I wouldn't eat 2 things that actually made me vomit: creamed spinach or pickled beets. She would make me sit at the table (or under the table) and refuse to let me eat anything else unless I ate whichever of those I hadn't eaten...for 3 days. She would put that plate of disgusting crap in front of me, it having been left out for all of those 3 days, and tell me to pretend it was a tootsie roll. Ugh. After 3 days (when she couldn't take trying to discipline and control me anymore), she would throw it out, spank me until her hand hurt too much, and then deny me any of the things I loved to do, for several weeks. I continued to refuse those foods (I hate vomiting!). When I was in my 40's, I happened to look in my baby book, and right there, in the list of foods that I could or could not tolerate, where the hated ones. I shoved that in front of her face, pointing out how she had abused me with those. She laughed and said "Ooops." My mother was an a-hole. I didn't know she was a narcissist until after she passed and I had to deal with other narcissists. It took me 50+ years to realize my mother was a liar and only cared what other people thought of her. It was weird though...she did have those moments of love. Maybe that was just to draw us in. She was a master manipulator and I drove her crazy; at this point in my life, I can see why (I drive all control freaks crazy).

My dear brother, I’m so sorry for what you went through. As sad as it is to hear your story. I am proud of what you have become today. When we are young we don’t know any better and we never question if we have been given the right set of parents but then some of us like you and I start to question everything and that’s what makes us better then everyone else, we choose to self reflect in a household that did not. May Allah grant you much strength and health.

‘Table manners’, from my mother was epic in itself. I was served food I didn’t like, and not allowed to leave the table until a check was done to see how much I ate. Meal times became hours of tears and so much stress. Especially the liver, she loved offal, especially tripe. Thank god I didn’t have to eat that. There were so many narcs constantly around me and I felt like an alien. Your channel & all who comment has changed that mindset. It was just environmental disharmony thats taken 57yrs to sort out BUT better later than never. I left my home country at 27 and now complete no contact (the long calls about anyone doing decorating was like a liver dinner too). Over the years there has been judgement about my disconnection with family, now this is narc exposure is happening, my reply still stands strong, ‘It takes courage and strength to break away, and if you can do that, you can accomplish anything.’ Good luck everyone ❤

If I didn’t finish everything on my plate, my narcissistic dad would tell me that how dare I not be grateful for the food in front of me because after all, there are starving people in Africa who are dying. Unfortunately I developed multiple eating disorders. It has taken years but I now have a healthy habits.

It is so sad for children when the people who are supposed to be protecting us are the people we need to be protected from. Hugs to all who need them. ❤

Yes! It was my parents constantly watching me and it was so uncomfortable. "Eat it, don't you like it? Eat it or you're not getting up!", etc. Once I asked not to eat something, saying I would throw up and it didn't matter, I ate it and I threw up. I get that this "eat it all or you can't get up" is an older generation thing but IDK, for me it was so stressful. I have an eating disorder to this day that I struggle with. I don't enjoy my food, even out to eat. I eat my food so fast so I get it over with.

It's amazing your timing in posting this video. Literally a week ago I had the revelation that I understand why I hated my dad joining us at the dinner table. It was rare he joined us luckily, because he was always working in his office across the living room. But he could see the kitchen if he left his door open, so then he would listen in and harass us loudly from there. My mom always cooked our dinner. And one of my dad's excuses for not joining would be he doesn't like what my mom made. Looking back on this, how hurtful that must have been for her. He was such a poor example setter. On the days when he did join us, it was a nightmare. He'd go around the dinner table, suddenly deciding to be a father, and interrogate each of us about school and our lives. I didn't feel like answering him because I knew he wasn't serious or actually cared. He clearly enjoyed his position of authority, and spoke to us in a commanding, intimidating way. I just remember dreading him getting to me, because it all felt so staged. It didn't feel genuine. It just felt like he was "playing" dad. If that makes sense? Also, he would scream the loudest at any of us kids for any bad eating habits, but then he would be the most disgusting of all when eating. Chewing SO loudly, eating really fast, just scarfing it down, chewing with his mouth open. BELCHING. Yet he would angrily shame us if we did any of these things. I remember one time when we got pizza, he joined us (pizza was one of the few foods he would eat). My pizza had a lot of grease on it. So I started blotting it with a paper towel. When he saw this, he lost his mind. He screamed and yelled at me telling me what I was doing was FOUL and DISGUSTING and WRONG. He ordered me to stop it immediately. I tried to explain to him the excessive oil made me sick and I couldn't eat it otherwise. He refused to listen or understand, threatening to send me to my room if I continued. He was always like this. Selfish, controlling, narcissistic, unable to listen or understand. I should also mention that my biological dad (who my mom divorced when I was four), used to shove food into my mouth too. I don't remember it because I was a baby. But my mom hated him for it. I was a slow, picky eater as a baby. I truly believe, based on so many other signs, that I am on the spectrum, and that's why I was picky about eating because I had a hard time processing all the textures. But I'm glad I don't remember him force-feeding me. I'm sorry you went through that, Danish :(

My relationship with food is awful. It’s gotten better, but it’s so frustrating how I swing between starving myself (not always intentionally) and overeating. I have stretches where I eat well, but then I feel depressed. My father was always hyper focused on my weight, and he definitely always had a critique on the food. I’ve blocked out what family meals were like growing up; I honestly can’t remember.

This is heart breaking! Food aggression in people? Never heard of such a thing til now. I didn't realize how blessed my childhood was. I still miss family suppers at the table. Saying grace, animatedly sharing each others events of the day and yes, practicing table manners and asking to be excused were of course, part of the deal but it was taught with patient kindness and was a welcome and pleasant experience we all looked forward to. I miss those days immensly. Practiced same with my kids til all were grown and gone. Now its empty chairs til the holidays. I thank God for those!

It’s the constant disappointment which translates as a reminder that they just don’t care, that is what hurts.

My gosh. Just recently, when I started watching some KZfaq videos on narcissism, memories of my childhood started coming back, after 65 years... and I realized that my male parent was a narcissist. Eating together was one thing I had yet to think about. Watching this, but moreso reading all the comments, has been extremely difficult-- I could now make a LONG list from the things all of you have described... I suddenly feel like I need some kind of emotional release from remembering and suddenly recognizing so many things that happened were narcissistic behavior, and I'm starting to cry. Now I know why I've felt like I was a little girl again recently when my new husband was picking on me. His behavior is the reason I looked up narcissism, after one of my girlfriends used the word recently in a comment. We got married in October and I left 3 months later. Only had to watch a few videos on narcissism to realize that probably every single word out of his mouth was a lie, starting the day we met.

#1 and 5 ... A guest and i were catching a breath after a family gathering, he asked, "MAN,, how long has it been since he ATE!!" Hugs to everyone, we dont forgive for their sake,,, but for our own!

Eating in my childhood home was always Traumatic, unpleasant…. I recall being beaten for not eating, vomited. I hid food, threw it out the window, lol. The food was disgusting as my mother was obsessive compulsive in her own eating, no spices, seasoning & I ate quickly, got up to clear the table as it was our job as well. As a young teen, it became our job to cook, set the table with all the formalities. Yes, holidays were traumatic as we had to help prepare everything in a certain way& eating out was ruined too even as an adult. Interesting because I also know those folks whose food was measured, shamed.

Thank you for sharing. You've brought some things to light for me. The story of your dad force feeding you made me so emotional and I'm so sorry you went through that. 😢

Your story really touched me. I used to get in trouble for being sick too. One time, as a child, I got sick after eating Taco Bell. I was a skinny kid, and my mother had been accusing me of being anorexic. I was in second grade. I was scared because if she found out I'd been sick, she would probably spank me. I went crying to my dad to not tell her I'd been sick. I didn't want her accusing me of anorexia again. He looked at me and said, you don't even know what that is do you? I didn't. Another time, as a teen, she tried to force feed me a candy bar. I wouldn't eat it so she slapped me and made my nose bleed. It was all about control. Control over my body, and I wasn't allowed many choices.

To this day, anytime my brother and I have dinner at our moms house she would get so pissed off if we didn’t come eat as soon as it was ready. The longer we waited the more extremely angry she would get. And while eating she would fish for compliments the whole time. Saying thing like “I’m sorry the soup isn’t very good”, after we’ve already said it was good. I don’t go over there anymore.

1. Eating like an animal. Does throwing ketchup count? 2. Delurgasm. Constantly, culminating in nationwide shared fantasy. 3. Fast food burgers and fries for everyone, clap, clap! Everything is a show. On a national stage. 4. More control. 5. Group control. . . . And then you ask what we’ve been victims of. That would be some form of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. And 6, 7, 8, 9-100. And on another note, you are great proof of the fact that one might be horribly abused as a child and yet make themselves into a wonderful person sharing beneficence and compassion with many. Blessings.

A narcissist I knew would talk nonstop during the whole meal and not eat his food, and then when everyone was done eating, he would finally stop talking and everyone would have to wait for him to finish his meal or be deemed rude.

My mother always wanted me to eat or drink something “ healthy”. In my teenage-years my father was in a bad mood every Sunday morning. So I chose not to get up in these mornings, and got up somehow on my own and ate all alone in the kitchen. Even me being over 30 years old my mother would come for Christmas’ eve’s dinner. I had told her in advance what we had planned to eat. No objections . Then she arrived and told me she had a certain kind of meat she wanted to eat and asked me for oil. I gave her the one I had. This one is no good for this purpose, I was told. Do you have parsley? No? Had she known this she would have brought some with her. I was so angry at her but swallowed my anger. She died more than 20/years ago. It really makes sense why I was angry. I always ate what she had prepared being at her home, no objections.

I hated meals with my narc father and co-dependent mother. He would wait until we all sat down to eat, then start demanding for my mother or myself to get up and get him something (another drink re-fill, a different spoon, a napkin, etc). He never asked my golden child sister to get up. After making us get up several times, he’d then hold court (as Danesh said-talking about humiliating someone & how proud he was of himself) while my mom and sister would take it all in and look at him in awesome reverence. He’d then start picking on me “why are you eating one thing at a time? Why don’t you mix your food?” Or if I was mixing my food, he had something you say about that as well. On top of all this, I grew up eating the same 4 or 5 meals every day because mom only made what he wanted. It wasn’t until I left at 18, that I got to try Chinese food. Edited to add-you’d better bring him the correct glass or utensil, otherwise he’d scream and belittle you. He even nearly killed me once because of the way I handed his glass to him. Apparently I didn’t do it to his liking. Mom and sister thought he was justified because “I should’ve known better than to hold his glass that way.”

Crazy doesn't begin to cover it. Danish. I am sorrier than I have words to adequately express, that you grew up with narcissistic parents. That said, you've turned it for the good of others. Thank you for your courage to speak honestly, and also, that you mustered the courage it took to free yourself from the shame and blame which naturally result from such abusive upbringings. You are a champion among men. I wish you every happiness.

Im sorry u had to endure such abuse...im very proud of u for rising above the treatment of your parents....peace and hugs ❤

I got force fed a lot, my dad made sure meals were things i wouldn't like and force feed me. I still feel the fork scraping against my teeth and the blood in my gums. If i was sick i was sometimes forced to eat that. He'd get so angry about it. I still don't know why it meant so much to him.

My husband, on the rare occasions when he ate with the kids and I (he often went out to eat without us, partially to insult me as a cook and partially to do whatever the hell he wanted, whenever he wanted), he had strange table manner rules he insisted we follow. And, he almost always found a way to bring up a disgusting topic that wasn't conducive to eating. On two occasions, he threw the young children's birthday cake in the trash!

I had just started dating someone for about a month now. I'm not sure if what I had gone through was narcissist behavior. We went out of town for Memorial Day weekend. Our 1st morning, he starts off telling me not to get offended, but I really need to use whitening strips. Which I do. I wanted to cry because it was the 2nd time he had told me that. My friends were shocked when I told them. Then he got what he wanted for lunch & didn't care that I didn't eat what he liked. I didn't say anything. Our last day going home, I kept thinking that we were going to get something to eat at a little bar & grill on the coast. I'm from the South BTW. But he never once stopped to see if I had wanted something to eat. When I mentioned it in a light hearted way, he blew up saying that I should have mentioned that I was hungry. I calmly told him that I didn't think that I had to mention it & how it's common sense that if you're dating someone, then that person might would like to eat. He told me that he's fasting. Please any advice will be appreciated. Because again I felt like he has some narcissistic behaviors the moment we started dating,but I wasn't quite sure. Especially now after our trip

Great video! Everyone should have this information! I'm so sorry for how you were treated!