Its exhausting to be around them!

Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

1. Lack of empathy 2. Entitlement 3. Grandiosity 4. Superficiality 5. Chronic seeking of admiration 6. Tendency to "rage" 7. Arrogance

I was married to a narcissist. If you run into one, run as fast as you can away from them!!!

“Getting pleasure out of somebody else’s misery.” That is literally most of the world.

So basically to be a Narcissist, you have to care only about your own desires at the expense of others and wanting only the facade of a good person while doing nothing for them. You as a narc never apologize for mistakes, get always angry at the slightest irritation, even if all someone did was setting boundaries. Expect others to obey the pecking order where you stand at the top and be condescending towards those who suffer. Be arrogant and think you are better than others while you have a lot less on the table as a person. It seems to me that Narcs confuse control and manipulation with love and trust, which is why they get angry when you try to do things your own way or something they don't like. They might be able to love other people, but only if they can be the one who control everything and are the ones responsible for the well-being of others, which is not how relationships should work. Honestly, sincerely, kindness, empathy, compassion and love should characterise our relationships, not blind rage, arrogannce, contempt, superficialty,bullying, abuse and control.

Trait of a narcissist is also unable to accept any sort of criticism, even if it is very light non-personal criticism. They will tend to call people "haters" after being criticized.

04:02 "That never happened." This is one of the top gaslighting phrases.

I would say the first sign will come from your own gut feeling which will send signal to your body telling you that this person doesn't make you feel comfortable being around him/her. The fact that you are already asking this question should alert you to be careful. Something will feel off and you won't know what it is exactly. Covert narcissists can act very charming in the beginning but there will be often also present underlying sense of superiority about them. That sense is actually deriving from them feeling insecure about themselves, so they tend to quietly degrade others in order to feel better about themselves. On the other hand if covert narcissist feels that you are above his league, he will act like your servant, trying to please you - almost annoying in a way. But make no mistake. If you decide to stay in a relationship with him, he will downgrade you and abuse you like all the others. Because in his mind, if you love him, he thinks you are unworthy of him. Covert narcissists hate themselves so if someone loves them, than they think this person is worth less than them and that they can do better. Other sign to look for is any kind of judgment towards others. If he criticises other frequently, he will more likely criticise you as well once he gets more comfortable around you. Pay attention to how he treats people that are dependent on him as well. Narcissists hate those especially if they can't get anything of of that for themselves. Moreover, Cheating in marriages is not restricted to only men. Women cheat as much as men do. If you're suspecting your wife of infidelity, you'll have to keep an eye on her of her without her knowledge of her. One of the best ways to know if your spouse cheats on social platforms is by paying close attention to how your spouse behaves while online. The signs are pretty the same. Is your spouse more time on the app without explanation and gets unnecessarily defensive when you ask about it? If your spouse behavior has changed lately, and continues to spend more time on social apps, it's time for you to take action, with the help of a private investigator (suggested; METASPYHUB@GMAIL. COM , you can find out what is taking all their time on social apps, who they are talking to and other things happening,,

This is so on point narcs never take responsibility and they just blame everyone for their own problems, they put people down to make themselves feel better and it’s all mental abuse, and when you confront them about it they either get pissed or laugh, they never want a real relationship they just want someone to take care of them financially while they go and do what they want I got away from my narcissistic ex 4 years ago and I’m still healing

Some narcissist also tell you that you did something you DID NOT do , or ultimately take it out of context and rage at you. The sick part is it's not consistent its like a pattern. Once a month, Four times a year, Two times every three months, (just speculation). So it becomes confusing to your spirit because half the time they are treating you with respect. Then there is the RAGE that comes out over the littlest things, and you are left feeling like what just happened!!!! It is invalidation, after invalidation, after invalidation. You defend yourself verbally, but eventually you become sick and tired.

They are sneaky, selfish people. Took me a long time to accept this as true. Ty Dr Ramani .. namaste 🙏

1.) Lack of empathy - defining characteristic of narcissism 2.) Entitlement - deserves special treatment 3.) Grandiosity - unrealistic version of the world 4.) Superficiality - concerned about appearances 5.) Chronic seeking of validation - constant need for praise 6.) Tendency to rage - uncontrolled rage, no tolerance for when things don't go their way 7.) Arrogance - "I'm better than you" Narcissist will engage in projection, make their faults and flaws yours, and will make you question your reality.

It's exhausting in general. I am so completely drained from narcissist behavior

I think narcissists WILL listen to you in the beginning so they know how to manipulate you

I’d be really interested to see a video related to the narcissistic spectrum. Some people have moderately narcissistic tendencies, while others are so much more severe. Sometimes it’s harder to relate the information out there to mid grade narcissism since everything tends to often be spoken about in more “extremes.”

I’m divorcing one and we were married less than 6 months. It’s exhausting. It made me sick. I’m 5 months post living together and almost divorced. Lost everything. It almost killed me. 100% lost myself and wanted to. Addict. Abusive. Felon. No empathy because he’s a diagnosed sociopath with a lot of dark empathy traits. Whew.

I just got out of a very emotionally abusive narcissistic relationship. Tbh the whole year it was on and off and I felt miserable. So many things you guys touched on, the fact he was so materialistic, hyper critical of what I wore, where I went, constantly criticising and nit picking over every little thing, it’s exhausting! I don’t know if I trauma bonded but he reminds me of a close family member, which is one of the reasons I’m struggling to let the relationship go. I could see it was toxic a mile away, he wanted me to basically change myself and would say things like why can’t I be more homely (and how I would abandon my future kids) I tried to uphold my boundaries but when the narcissist gets under your skin it’s really hard. Also when they explode it’s scary but they counteract this with (empty) apologies and seemingly moments of empathy. The narcissist I’m talking about lacked compassion majority of the time and kept saying it’s my fault he’s angry and living in a state of anger, as he doesn’t explode at anyone else. I may even have mentioned that he is a narcissist and advised him to go therapy but he didn’t. He would blame everything on me, and it’s ironic that he ended the relationship though it was more or less mutual. He probably thinks I made him toxic but he never took proper accountability. It was always pointing the blame at me. These people are so deluded it’s unreal. There was so much gaslighting going on, and I read a lot about it, just couldn’t leave the relationship. And the thing is he is apparently socially awkward though I’ve seen him charm others. They don’t know the real him, I do. He always shuts me down, hangs up the phone when things don’t go his way, it’s pretty much all about him and how he wants me to be this perfect idealised version. 😢

This channel provides me with knowledge, help and calmness at the same time😌✨

Dr. Ramani is such a great speaker, has a brilliant mind, and a way of explaining psychological topics in a way that is clear and concise. Many thanks Dr. Ramini!

She’s so right. Took me so long to figure him out. Thankfully my kids were teenagers and the fight wasn’t long and they are with me protected from him.

-lack of empathy (defining characteristics) -Entitlement (special) -grandiosity/grandiose plans -superficiality -chronic seeking admiration (needing constant praise and admiration) - rage (poor command of other emotions and handling frustrations, no tolerance) -arrogance (I’m better than you, snobby, devaluation of others as less than)

Yep I never trust a smooth talking charmer. Prefer socially awkward people.

I've been called as a narcissist by my ex.. But, I can feel empathy and empathize with people. I'm an autist and I've trouble expressing and comprehending my emotions. I do have my own share of insecurities. My therapist told me that I don't fall on the narcissist spectrum. I don't know why it's eating me up. Just this comment. It should not even bother me.

OMG, Dr. Ramani you blow my mind, you describe my Husband to a T. Unbelievable You Dicrubbed 30 reasons, you got everyone of them. Now I know why, I doubt myself much I never had a clue that he was a narcissist. I felt He had a chemical imbalance or a brain injury. My son and I were talking about you, trying to understand why my husband does this behavior. You have put the pieces together. Thank you, I felt so crazy.

Another trait is they dont take accountability in their faults and never apologize

What I don't like about the term narcissist is that everybody calls everybody else that. so these videos really help.

Until I looked up personality disorder I felt like I was literally going crazy the lack of empathy is #1 to look out for and everything else is exactly what I'm going thru with my partner. Watching this video brings clarity hope this video helps and if Kyle has a podcast I would love to join

I knew someone who I think is a narcissist. She fits a lot of those symptoms. Her focus was herself. She got angry very easily.

Thank you Dr. Ramani. Now I know there are people who feel the way I do. I also don't feel too comfortable with charming people due to my bad experience with a narcissist. My instincts with charming people are almost always right

My kids are grown now but you are 100 percent correct on the custody battle. My ex husband who is 6”3” and very aggressive not to mention physically abusive towards me, got a 2 year protection order against me. I am 5”4” not aggressive and know that if I ever hit him that would have been the end of me. He used the kids every way he could. But I hung in there and have a great relationship with my kids and without saying a word they have their own opinion of him that is not great. It was super hard for me to get through but luckily I did and I am better person today because of it.

This is very helpful; thank you, particularly the parts about arrogance and gaslighting. And, how the narcissist really never changes, regardless of "second chances".

Not only do you have to reassure narcs that they are great or give them validation, but one thing i've noticed is even if they appreciate you they will never stoop to telling you how much you mean to them or how good of a person YOU are, they also wont initiate contact with you usually they will actually resort to ignoring you until you message or call them first.

PLEASE talk about having an adult child who is a narcissist. How do you continue a relationship with your child but also "put up" with their narcissism. I am craving some insight!

The one narcissist I know, talks empathy, but when I hung out with her, her actions didn’t support empathy or taking my needs into consideration whatsoever. It was puzzling. Now I understand. Thank you.

I think a a lot of what's being called narcissistic is not really part of a disorder but a spectrum of states that most people are capable of depending on circumstances. I've been in some really bad situations with narcissists so I know they exist and they are incredibly toxic. But when you start to try to list the traits - these are traits most people can exhibit depending on circumstances.

That word, charming really triggers other narcissists. I also avoid the charmers. Narcissist can’t wrap their head around charming being a negative trait.

The hardest bit is when you question yourself if your a narcacistic person, but then you realise you're empathic af.

She's totally right about the gift giving thing. I get lots of anxiety when he gives me gifts. I honestly hate it. Because I know he isn't gifting me this just because he loves me. He's giving me a gift so for the next week I will tell him constantly how thankful and appreciative I am for it and how wonderful and amazing he is. He expects me to now bend over and obey his every command. If I make him even the slightest bit of angry he will use the gift against me and tell me how I'm a spoiled unappreciative brat and how dare I have a tone when he bought me something. He expects sexual favors in return for buying me literally anything. Even if it's a $5 item. We are married. He has access to my account, but I don't have access to his. When I get paid the entire check goes to rent and bills. So I literally dont have a dime. So I am stuck having to ask him to buy me every little thing, and he acts as if I now owe him, even though I'm paying the rent and bills.

Listen sometimes it’s hard to spot until u know them enough (it can takes years) so protect urself never give too much and involve too much emotional attachment.

Can’t wait for the next episode 😌 Dr. Ramani is a real life-saver. I have learnt soo much from this series. Thank you for all you’re doing to give people their sanity & self-assurance back.

It's amazing for me to hear this cause I know what it's like to live with a narcissistic person. This information is extremely accurate.

I do believe that if you are with a narcissist in a long term relationship . You can start to pick up their traits. And keep thinking that isn't who I am. So I had to get out and get back to me. Lying is a bad thing. I would catch myself and felt terrible. No more of that for me. It's wrong!

I’ve always been put off by charming people too. 😅

Covert narcs can be sulking in the background, not really the centre of the party. Those are really the worst, hard to spot them, takes time to see their true colors.

I was married, 5 kids, the dude tried to kill Me twice, initially he raped Me at 16: I was forced to marry him by My grandfather and church shaming Me.. dude later molested My kids: and yes, narcissists can manipulate therapists. Even after a charge of him beating on Me, and attacking Me with a weapon: he played the victim to a new female therapist. The experienced forensic psychologist told Me My ex was a really f#cked up pedophile, but his new therapist believed My ex, when he cried victimhood: never marry a rapist, they will only rape your children

OMG!!! Can we PLEASE have this show become a reality??!!! Ratings would be HUGE to watch Dr. Ramani put on a spy cam and work a room at a party!!! GENIUS IDEA! Lol

I’ve worked for two narcissist before and this video is absolutely spot on. These folks are nuts and difficult to be around for sure let alone work for. You have to stay clear of a narcissist if at all possible.

I've learned if you think the narcissistic person has changed and is being nice is when you want to be most cautious

My stepfather has all of them … and I knew it … this video solidified it, thank you

You are so right about L.A. I am a sensitive person, and I was not comfortable there at all.

Love how short and sweet this was. Definitely bookmarking this one

I have some of these characteristics. I’m honest. That’s what makes me so special. My honesty.

Listening to this actually reminded me exactly of an ex. Constantly requiring thank you for something, being superficial, be Charming to start off with, constantly seeking admiration, gaslighting me of my reality and trying to make me think it didn’t happen, tendency to have rage over the smallest things. When explaining being worried to go places and why after the first week of him saying it’s all in my head when he knew it wasn’t he would get annoyed and tell me to get over it no empathy what so ever, purely nice to me based on what he could gain from me, verbally abusive and manipulative for his own gain which came to light in the end. After the first two weeks of love bombing it was a nightmare. Nothing I done said or tried was ever good enough after the love bombing faze ended

Narcissists are controlling, manipulative, egotistical and are liars! They will try to prevent you from having friends, enjoying yourself, and finding peace. This is because narcissists are very insecure and they have no soul, so they will try everything in their power to destroy yours. If you even suspect these types of traits, get out before it's too late! Your Relationship Coach KZfaqr 💙

Here’s a new one, putting other people down because they’re insecure

I have found that they suck up all your energy. Almost like they get charge from others.

That’s a relief! I am extremely empathetic & sometimes my family/friends from back home accuse me of narcissism for my ambition 🤪

Thank you, you guys are brilliant I have learnt and healed so much 👏👏 just got out of a narc relationship, heartsore but healing. Still dont have closure or fully understand what happened but trying to move on.

Plus, as you’ve said in other interviews, empathy can be feigned.

Yes this is exactly the person I just started dating. He somehow thinks he’s successful though he barely had any property except recently bought a fancy second hand car and lived in a cheap apartment building. And he brags about how hardworking he is when he seems getting distracted a lot during work. He talks big, and seems way too charming. Almost everything I say or ask, he has a smooth answer. And he also tried to control how I look. When I told him I wasn’t feeling well today, he said I probably had COVID and showed no empathy then started talking about himself. Definitely gonna stop seeing him. Thank you for saving me from misery.

Thank you, very informative! You once made an episode about the difference between narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths. Could you please make an episode about the difference between narcissists and burnout syndrome too? Besides, could you please make more content about psychopaths and sociopaths too? Now, thanks to Dr.Ramani, Dr.Carter we have a lot of info about narcissism. But it seems to me, there is still not so much info about psychopaths. It would be good knowing how to spot them too.

My MIL seems very empathetic, but her caring and willingness to help someone out turns out just to be a chance to be the hero and get commendation.

My father is narcissistic. I have learned over the years of watching him to disengage from him and our relationship is extremely superficial. We never say, “I love you.” I would never initiate that.

Omg you saved me I been in a relationship 5 years I thought she just crazy now I understand thanks so much

One of the worst things about finding out your with a Narcissist is how rarely they're held accountable & often times how things play to their advantage (Or they make it that way). For example, after leaving my ex-partner & her blaming me for everything - this essentially provoked 'trauma-bonding' to get the new partner on board towards 'his duty' of protecting her emotional state. All I can say is: He's got a world of hurt coming his way. I'm out of Shawshank! thanks to Dr. Ramani & real friends who have your best interests at heart.

As far as having an “inner world” I think that is more of an introvert thing… some of these traits can also be explained by different personality *types*, not necessarily disorders… plenty of people aren’t comfortable talking about their feelings to new people, especially at a party…

Thank you so much Dr, your videos are a lifeline. Thanks Kyle

My daughter was married to a narcissist, all but one of the signs you listed, they had two children and custody was a difficult battle but his main concern was money, i.e. child support. They settled on 50/50 custody with no support. His second marriage has gone belly up for the same reasons as my daughters, though his second wife wised up to the manipulations, etc faster. The trouble now is how he treats his oldest daughter who is 13. He is turning this child’s life into a nightmare, she now feels it’s up to her to make Daddy happy, he has feed her his version of why his wife left. He made it impossible for her to see the kids for a long time even though they were very close. The daughter is now refusing to talk to her step mother, even going so far to say that she never deserved them. The child can’t sleep, grades are slipping, crying often including at school in washroom. Her mood becomes very chaotic on the day she must return to his place. My daughter has her seeing a therapist that the child says is nice but not helping. She feels no one understands her, nor her father. She has told my daughter she would like to live with her full time but can’t hurt her Dad by saying so. And then there is the fact that he still terrifies my daughter about having to deal with him about daughter. He even has gone so far as to accuse my daughter to contributing to the breakup of his second marriage. To make matters worse my daughter has physical difficulties due to a major accident and her second husband left her with no warning, no arguments no signs other than he was struggling with her other abilities and financial stress. This grand daughter was very close to this man, and relied on him for advice and support, and he has only contacted the kids 3 times since Xmas. So that is the background in a short version. My questions are 1) how do we help my granddaughter on a day to day basis, when she refuses to confide other than having apologize for not being perfect, she does everything wrong, refuses to tell her Mom why she is mad at her. She sleeps but wakes up exhausted, grades are dropping even though she has always been a very good student, withdraws to her room all the time, is sad but becomes very bubbly with friends, and has stopped doing activities she enjoys. We are trying to get her in to see a psychiatrist, but it still leaves us trying to raise a child on a day to day basis with just too much pressure on her. Is there any material we can get to give us guidance on parenting a child with so much mental stress and help alleviate her distress?

Narcissism is so complex I don't see how the typical person can avoid being exploited by it. I would bet that even the narcissist doesn't even realize their own affliction.

Thank you both a gazillion times for this💟💜✨

I'm here because once again I've been bowled over by another one but she's not so over the top with her symptoms and they've been slow to appear so I need to know how to spot them faster. When I first met her she seemed to be super sweet and funny. The 1st sign was the first time she came over for coffee she started bitching about how cruel her daughter was being to her but she wasn't saying anything about how she was as a parent. She later actually said she was a perfect mother. Ya, like that exists. The next thing I noticed was she wasn't returning text messages and calls. She actually let 2 weeks go by w/o a call back but then I missed her call the other day because I'm really sick and she was pissed!!! That was the last straw for me. I'm literally dying of starvation, she knows it and couldn't care less. Don't worry about my last sentence I'll be OK one way or another it's just that I'm once again blown away at the lack of empathy yet they expect it from you 100%. I cannot wrap my brain around it. Now I know that I'm attracted to the outgoing, funny, loud people and that's the problem! Check!! It's over and never again!!!

I suffer with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. My Dad is a narcissist, he also has ADHD and dyslexia. I am so lucky that he lives abroad for parts of the year, but when he’s back he just shows up at my home uninvited unannounced and refuses to give me any warning. It’s utterly exhausting. I had a massive argument with him yesterday and I am now expected to spend Christmas and my sister’s birthday with him and his wife. Last time he was here I got counselling free at work. 🤦‍♀️ Lord, give me strength.

Love the sofas! Love the conversation!

Well this is scary because my bf is definitely a narcissist, tried to leave him couple of times but he doesn’t want to leave. Have been with him for 10 years and realised during covid as we didn’t quarantine together, I started to feel myself again lost weight, start few projects, even my friends realised that, but now I’m back again feeling frustrated despite my strong character, he wanted to marry me but I didn’t say yes because I know once we get married it will Be a nightmare even if we get kids. Sometimes when we argue he is telling me that I won’t be capable to raise kids etc. I don’t know how to end this to be honest, but I hope to find the courage to end this

The lack of empathy #1, describes my ex-wife to a T. I actually never knew it was a lack of empathy until this video. The fact that this expert put it as the number one predominant trait is very eye-opening to me. As far as my ex, she had/has 6 of the 7 signs with the only exception being rage. Even then, it was "seething" rage I suppose.

Can you make a new video on psychopaths, sociopaths, and borderlines? I've watched the few you've made in the past but can you do another one and compare/contrast them and how they're different from Narcissism? There seems to be so much overlap between the four, even though only three of them are Cluster B.

I'd love to meet Dr Ramani. It's a pretty quick trip for me to get talking about your and my inner worlds.

My father to a T. Corporate lawyer. I was literally his whipping post. Effed me up.

Agreed. Jealously and making up stories living in a fantasy land, oh boy I remember I was so exhausted when she was a round.

Socially anxious! Yesss! I’ve been forced out of my quiet, overly thinking, over analyzing each word actual personality because it just doesn’t jive with society, so talking about much other than my personal experiences and mostly and how they relate to what’s being discussed is typically my go to filler conversation so I don’t look like an idiot, but I’ve been chastised by my adult child, saying I only talk about myself. So I’ve always wondered if I’m a narcissist in that aspect, but it’s either talk about what I’m familiar with or don’t talk at all, the in between is horribly awkward with long pauses that drive up my anxiety. Funny thing too is that I have such an aversion to a narcissistic personality that when I met my socially awkward husband, we were literally perfect for each other. We can sit and cuddle and not say a word for hours and hours and it’s perfectly fine. Neither of us feel any pressure to converse. Our love language is cuddling and just enjoying each other’s company. My oldest two kids, though, I feel like they may be narcissistic or on some spectrum of it. Both lacking empathy, both pathological liars. I’m to the point where any communication that happens with them will have to be gray rocked because they both will turn everything around to hurt you in the worst possible way, and it gets really bad around holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, or vacations. Any sort of happy time they know about, I can typically expect to be contacted and the special occasion ruined as a result.

I didn't want to label a particular person in my life a narcissist because i know it's overused but i find myself having to admit that this person just fits it so well. Also props to Dr Ramani's video-friendly professionalism: When she stumbles over her words she starts the sentence again to give the editors a chance to edit out the stumble if they want to.

Why can't I stop watching these videos 😖

kyle you have some good key points in your shows THANK YOU.

I love Dr. Ramani and Kyle! Their videos are always so educational. And this set is lovely too

Omg I lobe this part 5:00 on how to access a narcissist quickly! The last guy I dated was a narcissist. He kept talking. Made it all about him. Blah blah blah 🙄🙄🙄

great talks! omg.... so much clarity in this needy needy time... godspeed..

One of my ex SOs ticks every box. We were old high-school friends, reconnected after I got sober (immediately after, couldn't see the red flags, too lonely and vulnerable) she also had a tough childhood, only child, chronic degenerative muscle condition so she gets a pass from a lot of people "she's fun to be around, energetic, leadership qualities" it got to the point where once I realized what she was doing to me, I also realized she was cheating. It kind of all clicked I to place, like those TV moments of all the pieces coming together, I thought "how could I be so blind, did I subconsciously know and just didn't want to admit it?" If I didn't firmly believe cheating is an absolute deal breaker, especially ongoing cheating, I'd probably still be in that relationship, probably have kids by now, might be looking for a way to prove what was happening to get sole custody and escape, dealing with her gaslighting everyone around me to destroy my life. Luckily it only took 5 years and we were young, so I had time to grow through it without feeling "too old to be loved". She ended up with someone who, before I woke up, I thought of as a close friend friend who turned out to be fairly pathologically childish like her, constant gaslighting, pretentious, vain. Honestly as miserable as they seem to this day 15 years later, I think they're both too terrified of loneliness to risk splitting up because I know deep down they both hate themselves, so they're the only people they know who will deal with what the other one puts out. Its really sad but I have to temper that sadness against how toxic they both were for the people around them. I lost a lot of friends in the breakup because I wasn't allowed to be mad at my wife and best friend for running around behind my back, it really showed me who my real friends were, and in the end I think "wow, it only took me five years to stop chronically trauma bonding to people who want to take advantage of me, and recognize what healthy friendships and romantic relationships look like. Not bad for a former addict battling ongoing depression, considering some people never get there." I really am fortunate for the friends and family that stuck by me and forced me to stay in touch when all I wanted to do was check out and bury my head in the sand. To this day, I still unravel new facets of my depression tied to her and my tendencies in romance, it gets a little better every day, my primary mantra is to not hate them, because as messed up as I feel, they must fell 100 times worse deep down and will likely never experience the depth of love I have found since then because it would interfere with their facades. One day I realized that their story was more depressing to me than my own, and I thought "is that me gaslighting myself for them that they are victims, or is it that I am just finally accepting myself as ok and not trash?" They are victims too, but that's their responsibility, not mine. I can't fix them, and they're toxic to me, so there's nothing for me to do but learn and move forward.

Thank you ! I was just thinking about a few conversations I had in LA when you started mentioning Los Angeles.

We need the court to be highly trained on how to recognize individuals who display these traits.

I honestly feel like most people lack empathy. I can feel when something's wrong with people just from the aura of being around them but I have to verbally tell people how I feel

It’s an eye opening to c all this. U guys r awesome 😊

I have been diagnosed with NPD. A person with NPD is not emotionally stone-cold when it comes to other people. I don't have a lack of empathy, I would call it low empathy + dark empathy. It's not that I don't understand other people's emotions, I just don't understand them sometimes because I can't empathize with their situation 90% of the time. So no, we are not like a stone that cannot feel or recognize anything towards others. We're not a psychopaths lol..

English Upper classes, mind field, you really help people be aware of these problems, thank you

24 years. The Vail of consciousness has been removed and I have finally seen the narcissistic person for who they are.

We all have someone in mind listening to this!

Thank you for the recognition,is about time.

I have been married to a narcissist for 43 years. I went through him cheating on me the first 5 years , then 6 years of physical abuse, and the remainder has been mental. All without him owning up to the responsibility that he shouldn't have been a butthole husband untill I am ready to walk out the door. I'm done

Yes a show with Ramani with a hidden camera !! MAKE IT HAPPEN 🎉❤❤❤

I watch this as im going through the worst break up . My husband i believe is a narcissist but i might be a narcissist. Im so confused .