They don't love you... they love that you love them

The hardest part about being a victim of narc abuse is that it becomes difficult to trust even the genuinely good people you meet later on in life.

After many years of abuse, I have realized that every accusation of theirs was a confession.

"If i start to feel small I know I'm with a narcissistic person." What a great peice of advice. Thank you!!!

Trying to explain the abuse and gaslighting to people who have only ever seen the smiles and sweetness is such a struggle. They can’t imagine how destructive it really is.

You have to experience it to be able to truly understand it.

This cruelty should be considered a crime, because it ruins the victim’s self and life.

Those who have not experienced narcissistic abuse will never understand this kind of hell

this is oxygen to me as I sit here crying in a women's shelter. I hope the entire world sees this.

The narcissist is so sick that they will make YOU seek therapy.

It sounds like narcissists literally hurt people so badly until it can actually become deadly. It hurts people so horribly.

Narcissists , besides psychopats are the only type of people who would intentionally try to hurt you with absolutely ZERO remorse. Saddistic

Narcissist is a nice name for a person full of demons. They enjoy seeing you hurt.

20 years of marriage. my doctor made me leave him. she kept telling me he was killing me. Divorcing was even worse. Ended with poverty and shame from his lies about me. 5 years NO CONTACT !!! and i am joyful again!!! my diary helped me to realize how weird and bad he was. keep a diary!

I have been married for twenty years, and I just recently realized that my husband is a narcissist. I felt like I was the only one in my situation, until I saw another video about narcissistic and emotional abuse! It makes me wonder how many people are hidden inside their homes not knowing they are being abused!

Started out as my soul mate. Turned into my worst nightmare.

A good person will Never pretend be a bad person But A bad person Will pretend to be a good person

if you come from an abusive background, it isn't that you are attracted to an abusive person, it is just that you will have a high tolerance for abuse because that is normal to you and you will make excuses for the abuse whereas someone who grew up in a healthy environment will not have the same tolerance for abuse and will leave.

“They show you the monster when they already have you” 🎯

"Abuse felt like such a strong word, even when it became physical." Heartbreaking.

It's terrifying to realize one day you fell in love with someone who doesn't even really exist. Control freaks with no self control.

This is a demonic spirit. When you see these 3 traits in a person. Run! Run! Run!🏃‍♀️ 1. Manipulation 2. Intimidation 3. Domination Run away and don’t waste you time with this person.

It’s all about control, not love. It is heartbreaking how well it is disguised literally behind the most beautiful love

Whoever is going through this you aren't alone, they want to break you because they see qualities in you that they can't posses like love and empathy, they are predators. Listen to your body and get out, don't let them change you ❤

Narcs NEVER admit when they are wrong

Please, my fellow victims, understand that the reason you attracted a narcissist is because you are on a path of learning to love yourself so strongly that you will become unshakable.

My ex narcissist actually told me "People like me more than they like you" (this was after his smear campaign behind my back to everyone we knew). My response must've actually come to me through intuition, because my response was "That's because they don't really know you" It was gaslight city after that. I know it was wrong but I still get great satisfaction from remembering how I backed him up against the wall and threatened to cut his tongue out after 20 years of his abuse. Those big eyes full of fear and him backed up against the wall. The coward knew he'd gone too darn far that time. I left him soon after that. Life is so stress free now. Once you lived in the hell of a narcissist, things as small as hearing the birds sing and watching the sun rise are stunningly beautiful. My soul is lit! 😊❤️ This is my wish for everyone who has suffered narcissistic abuse. You are more special than you know and you are worthy and very loved. ❤️

It is uncanny how narcissists seem to be following the same "playbook." Peace and healing to all victims.

Starve the beast. Go NO CONTACT

When the devil can't reach you, he sends a narcissist. This documentary made me extremely emotional as my disgusting "relationship" was explained.

"Narcissistic abuse is the sum total of all forms of abuse." WOW!!! SO TRUE!!! It is the total destruction of the victim, inside and out.

my father is a narcissist. his anger, ridiculous pride, mocking EVERY single person he meets behind their back, making you walk on eggshell... so accurate. It drained my energy and i am recovering from burnout. i thought i should forgive him and contact him, but this video seems like a sign telling me i can forgive and not contact.

I am so happy they included a man into this documentary, so often men are demonized as the only ones able to abuse, which makes it even harder for men to get help.

My question is, why isn't Narcisstic abuse criminal?? It needs to be. This abuse is cruel!

Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective *Metaspyhub@gmail. com.* Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!

9 years together and 6 years married, I am finally escaping a narc. This vid was so eye opening so spot on and even triggering for me to watch. I am so grateful for the support system I have around me. Just reminding myself that none of this is my fault.

"Narcissists rely on you not relying on yourself." Probably one of the wisest and truest things I've ever heard about narcissism, holy shit.

"Love makes your brain grow, fear makes it shrink" - BEAUTIFUL

“I stepped over so many of my feelings because they triggered my empathy” this hit hard

Growing up with an emotionally unavailable mother and abusive stepfather gave me a bullseye for narcissists. I was so thirsty for connection I would drink poison to feel quenched.

If you haven't been through it, you'll never understand.

They call you crazy but its them....

My mother did this to me my entire life. STILL does and I'm just over 50. I wish someone would have explained Narcissistic Abuse to me when I was 17. There's so much I'd like to do over. The worst bit is the way she gets angry at me when I DARE to question the gaslighting. And I'm the terrible one for despising her.

This documentary is really great. I´m a psychiatrist, and I´m gonna recommend it to colleagues, coworkers and patients. Aletta, Jill and Roel: brilliant and thank you very very much!

And we're just talking about this kind of abuse in romantic relationships. Imagine the lives of all of those who have narcissist mothers or fathers…

The worst thing about narcissist abuse is it's abuse you can't see. There's no visible bruises or scars. No one except another victim would understand. You try and explain it to someone who doesn't know and they just don't get it. At age 20 I was in a physically abusive relationship and the guy ended up in jail. I met my narcissist at 28 and I dont care how screwed up this sounds, but I'd straight take being beaten 20 times over than the abuse of a narcissist. They literally make you go crazy and cross every wire in your brain and when you finally escape them they tourment you beyond belief. When your try and defend yourself you look crazy because they've masterfully manipulated everyone against you because they're always 2 steps ahead. I think these people are demonic, evil is coursing through their blood streams!

The best content I have seen on NPD!!! Should be taught in schools so we could have the tools to identify those predators before it is too late.

“Narcissists rely on you not relying on yourself.” Oof! Bingo!! Very, very well observed & said. It felt good to hear that 👍

Come on KZfaq, just recommend this to the rest of the planet already so everyone can start healing already.

"Narcissist rely on you not relying on yourself" That was so deep and truth. Selflove is your biggest weapon against them ❤

The best thing to do is spread the word about narcissistic abuse. Ive been through all the same. A narcissists great blind spot is that they would never consider that they are mentally disordered. Pride goeth before the fall.

I think I narrowly escaped a narcissistic relationship. I was only with him for a few months, but thankfully saw the warning signs early on. I still stayed longer than I should have, hoping that I was wrong about him. I'm so grateful for my friends who helped me recognise the dangerous situation I was getting myself into.

Seeing abused people being healed & smiling again feels good.

The switching between good person and bad person probably messed with me the most.

“when I learned about narcissists I was finally able to…” She spoke to my soul, I will never forget the feeling when I first saw a video about narcissism, it all started to make sense. Knowledge is certainly power!

My Mother died 22 years ago. Years before she died I told my brother, “I won’t grieve when she dies, I am doing my grieving while she is living.” My therapist called her, “a weirdo, wacko.” He got that right.

Cognitive dissonance - your gut tells you to run away, but your brain is trying to justify your stay. Yup.That is what they are good at.

Thank Goodness for the internet to help us discover things like this these days.

They are psychopaths who kills our souls..... No one who had not been thought that understand 😢

My heart goes out to everyone abused by narcissists, I really hope you are able to believe there are beautiful people out there for you, trust is so hard to give after surviving a narcissists abuse, to all in this documentary "you are all beautiful & very special people" my love to you all

Watching this trying my hardest not to cry. 22 years of abuse. Almost free

I want to cry for everyone in this documentary. I've lived it too. Currently no contact but struggling to overcome the trauma bond. No one knows until they've lived it, no one else understands

Let's not forget, that for some of us our parents were the 1st ones to expose us to this type of abuse 😢

"She had a monopoly on the truth...no matter what you were talking about, her opinion was the truth." YES. God, I can relate so much to this video. The being held hostage, the being kept up all night and berated, it not stopping until you admit you are "wrong" and they are "right". The hiding of your keys!!! hiding my phone, my medication...the constant gaslighting...the thinking you're going crazy. The second-guessing yourself when you know in your heart that you're right. They break you down, isolate you, break your spirit. I am so grateful that I'm mentally resilient and strong because if I wasn't, I would be a shell of a person right now.

Their lack of genuine emotion or empathy is so confusing and disturbing.

You know you're with a crazy person when you yourself begin to feel like you are going crazy. It feels like a concussion.

It’s been 10 years since I left my abuser. He was my first contact with a true narcissist. I’m still healing everyday. My PTSD sucks but I keep getting stronger. My road to recovery has been a long one. It also took me 10 years to get full custody back of my son. The abuse can last much longer if you co parent.

The only connection I can think of is that both are based on the perpetrator’s undue emphasis of his/her own thoughts/emotions. In narcissistic abuse, perpetrators usually expresses the attitude that everything centers around them. They may object to that description and even insist that they don’t believe that; but, their actions say otherwise. Virtually everything you do/don’t do gets tied back to the perpetrator as a person. You’re either doing something right b/c you’re smart, capable, etc., or you’re intentionally doing it wrong in order to hurt/anger the perpetrator in some way. You are also likely to be accused of doing it wrong, even if you’re doing it right-again b/c of the perpetrator’s thoughts/emotions. Toxic positivity is generally not perpetrated with the intention to hurt anyone, and most wouldn’t even recognize it as being toxic/hurtful; but, in most cases, the perpetrator is still oblivious to the effect it has on others, and to the value of that effect. Narcissism is a psychological disorder and, with few exceptions, abuse is perpetrated with the tangible intention of causing harm. In contrast, toxic positivity is a behavioral flaw that is essentially an extreme version of selfishness, based in denial, and is generally perpetrated with the intention of maintaining and creating happiness. Most people are selfish, in some way or another. Toxic positivity is a subtle expression of selfishness-so subtle that even the perpetrator may not realize why it’s wrong b/c, after all, s/he is only seeking to encourage/uplift people. This is where denial comes in. Most people struggle/suffer, at some point or another. I believe that most people are also aware that there are people who experience more pain than they are aware of from their own lives. Denial allows people to look at someone who reminds them of themselves and assume that they cannot be justified in their suffering b/c the observer is not suffering. Denial also allows people who have suffered to deny the significance of other people’s suffering b/c it is notably different from their own, or b/c they perceive it as being notably different. From here, there are 2 extremes: One is for them to be semi-consciously abusive-meaning that they are generally aware that their actions are hurtful; but, they rationalize it as being justified. The other is to perpetrate toxic positivity-in which they are completely unaware that their actions are hurtful and it’s difficult for them to identify why they would be. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating spouse; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com

Don't forget that cold, dead stare...

It's difficult to trust other people after this experience...that part

Growing up with a narcisstic parent, I would have liked to see different perspectives on the topic (not only partners, but parents, siblings, children and even friends for example). However, I want to thank you for raising awareness about this topic as it is still not talked about enough how narcissists can literally ruin your life. I hope these survivors realize none of this was their fault and they find peace someday.

Narcissism is a type of insanity.

This guy looks absolutely shattered, i just want to give him a hug

For anyone who's still in an relationship with a narcissistic: the fact that you're here means that you've recognised it and it's the first step. Work on your safety planning and get out. It's hard, so so so hard but you will survive it. You'll come out broken, damaged and bruised but you will get through it. And trust me, you'll rise from all this and you'll shine brighter than ever. Don't give up, never give up. 15 years in an abusive marriage, 4 years out. Every day gets better. Raise your knuckles to the sky and fight for yourself. Love to all ❤

It is you being baited by a person who acts like your Dream come true on many days, someone you have loved more deeply than anyone else. Yet slowly someone more insidious appears. This person slowly breaks you down mentally by projecting all their bad behaviour onto you. By taking away your human rights, ever so slowly at first, that you barely notice as it is disguised as partnership working together. Yet, it is only you making changes. Not being allowed to feel or have boundaries or reacting to their abuse. This is even a crime to them. The psychological damage seems small but it is emmence. All done by someone who cannot and will never take responsibility for their actions or even act decently. Their own justifications make no sense, but you are the one that is made to feel crazy. How can anything be learned if only one person can self-reflect? They have rules you must follow, yet they do not need to. You are made to feel so small and helpless to the dramas they make. To be made into a monster, just so they can cover-up their misdeads they know would be looked down on if anyone else knows of it. Doesn’t matter that you did absolutely nothing wrong to deserve it in the first place. They know they are wrong, they know exactly what they are doing. They only care for themselves. Remember that! Everything they are is a lie and a fabrication. Yet all this is punishment for being madly in love with a person who was only acting as a reflection of youself to start with. Everything you believe. What is right and what is wrong? Can only be crushed by them. The idea of justice becomes an illusion, just as they were. The word Love is defiled and you are mentally fragmented and confused. You are left in a self defeating loop of obsessive compulsive mental noise of poisonous self destruction. Imprisoned by their own congintive delusions they forcefully smothered you with. You have to experience it, the disgusting depravity of the personality disorder to be able to truly understand the damage they do. No one you have dated or lived with before comes even close to it. It doesn’t matter if you leave them or they leave you. You’re still damaged by them anyway. They are Soul destroying parasites! Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..

In every narcissistic relationship, it is always one sided where one has no choice but to submit to all the abuse. I can definitely relate to this video, thank you. I just wish I found out years earlier

This documentary should be shown in schools and colleges everywhere to spare the coming generations of these hideous beings. Excellent work thank you.🙌🧡💛💙

The extreme shifts between fake kindness and cruelty makes the trauma bond stronger than you suffer from cognitive dissonance.

You will be treated like gold for months. Everything is hot and heavy - you found the perfect partner who is attentive, affectionate and passionate. The first red flag is they keep sharing their own stories (non stop blabbing from their aide) and don’t seem to be too interested in what’s going on in your life. The convos always switch back to what’s going on with them. Suddenly there is a switch and they are indifferent. For NO reason. There was no argument, no fight - in fact, the night before might have been one of your best nights together. After that switch, they will never ever come back to normal. You will be faced with constant silent treatment. You will be walking on eggshells. The minute you corner them and ask them what the hell is going on - you will be stonewalled. They gain power this way. You will be CONFUSED af. You will do everything you can to have the “old” them back, because you don’t like this new version. What you need to realize is the “old” version never existed. It was a complete lie and act - learned from friends, movies etc. It was a character made just for you - it’s no surprise you had a lot in common and now suddenly you don’t. The person you fell in love with completely disappeared, they are ghost. It is absolutely heartbreaking and devastating. All you see is the same body without the same soul. The more frustrated they see you - the more the run and push you away because they don’t want you to see that it was all a mask. Affection is out the window at this point. They can barely kiss or hold hands, but when earlier you were on their lap 247. The real them came out and the mask is off - they hate any from of emotion or love because they are not capable of it. You will be faced with constant gaslighting and they will try to distort your reality so you don’t see them for who they really are. You need to run like the wind - this relationship only makes you destroyed. Their friends don’t know.. for the covert ones - only their romantic relationship partners can figure it out. Because they are so careful with their image, it’s all about perception management. And one day… after all the cognitive dissonance and sleepless nights and feeling sick to your stomach.. you open KZfaq and it’s a door to all your answers. You are well with a narcissistic psychopath that has no feelings. Leave and never look back. Additionally, Metaspyhub@gmail. com is a company that is ideal if you need to be able to confront a cheating spouse because they have some of the most advanced features in the industry.

to all of you who watched this Masterpiece let it be known you are among the best human beings this world has to offer ❤ 💕

Narcissistic abuse survivors are real war heroes. Heroes of an invisible war; the hardest of wars because it's a lonely war.

I can relate. When lady said " my childhood set me up for the relationship"

I know this is an old video, but the information is still very relevant. I was with my husband for over 30 years. They're great actors, and when I had our baby, he couldn't relate to her. She just made him angry. ' Why is she always crying/ what's wrong with her, etc. I was 18 when I met him, and he was 26. People say,' Oh, you're so lucky to have such a nice guy' they didn't see him behind closed doors. I'm an empath , I thought everyone had empathy, but he had none. His problems were caused by other people, he said. I divorced him 12 years ago. I'm 60 now, I wasted my life. I didn't know what a narcissist was until a couple of years ago. That's when I had a light bulb moment. Thank you, internet, for all the information. Look for the red flags. Don't waste your life like I did.

"abuse felt like such a strong word" exactly how i feel despite years of verbal and emotional abuse and controlling behavior.

This should be tought in schools. Like business and money managing.

This is spot on! I was married to one who was also an alcoholic. Like being married to Satan. And the day I left him and ran with my 2 children…I didn’t think I belonged in a shelter. I thought it wasn’t as bad as that. I found out I was one of the worst cases they’d seen. The mind control is mind boggling. Praise God I’m free!! ❤️🙏🏼❤️

This is so true! My father was a Narcissist. I remember trying to bring up the emotional and physical abuse but was told that I was the one at fault. It really made me doubt myself a lot. Still to this day I feel really invalidated by both my parents, who both don't acknowledge that it happened.

These are all such intelligent, beautiful, kind people. I hope they continue to heal from the abuse inflicted on them. I’m grateful to them for sharing, as I’ve just realised in the last month that I’ve been a victim my whole life of a narcissistic mother. I have a lot of recovery work to do.

Jeckle and Hyde behind closed doors, totally charismatic in front of others! To the person reading this who is also a narcissistic abuse survivor: I see you. I hear you. I believe you. ❤

You can be the most beautiful talented person & no matter what, they find something wrong with you.

It is possible to get an abusers voice out of your head/ mind. The more you surround your self with people that uplift your areas of insecurity you can realize the abuser in your past was a liar. Everything they said was about control and not true. You don’t have to live with that. Hope this helped someone 🫶

Doctor Ramani saved my life. I studied her videos until I knew them inside and out and backwards. I'm forever grateful to her 💖💖💖

Narcissist Survivor here.

The confusing part is when narcissists accuse the victims of being narcissists. And maybe genuinely convince themselves they’re the victims.

Yes!! It starts out so perfect. Then suddenly, after the wedding, you start to realize you're trapped!!

Living with it for over 50 years it was so hard to find who I really was at the core of my being. To those select friends who believed in me, thank you. To those who like me are continuing to raise awareness and help others find themselves again, thank you. My only challenge is I am now so suspicious of anybody being nice to me. I want to stand up for myself more, but it's not easy. Thank you Alettta.

They always start out as our soul mates. Then the abuse starts

All narcissist sooner or later brings their victim to illness because they themselves are actually sick

It's so sad that I sat here nodding throughout the whole video 😩 It's one of those things that many people go through and yet you can feel so alone with it

I wish there was a documentary about trying to heal after you leave…I’m struggling