You can hear the frustration within the first breath. The sheer amount of misinformation streaming about... For every video the Professor does, there are ten more of crap and nonsense. Thank you Professor Vaknin for continuing the good fight with the correct information. People are listening.

What a great description. I can't get over how absolutely masterfully you describe something so complex in the layers of this construct and its demise.

This video has helped open my eyes to my own narcissism that until recently, I wasn't even aware existed. Thank you for this great content and please keep up the amazing work!

The narc siblings in my family were always protected by making me the whipping boy. They weren't abused but rather allowed unchecked to be predatory, as learned behavior from role models.

This is new stuff. Very interesting indeed.

Thanks, Sam, for acknowledging that we don't all (as targets of NPD abuse) enjoy or agree to participate in the fantasy. The love bombing of my ex (Diagnosed as NPD, antisocial, histrionic, ADD, adoption after months of institutional care, auditory processing delay + suspected Asperger?) was always very off-putting to me. But he could be a lot of fun in the courting phase and, at 20 yo, I naively put everything down to general immaturity which "everyone grows out of" and to insecurity which "would be resolved by making the relationship permanent (marriage) and proving myself to be a reliable source of safety and support." So, so wrong. Every time I see a new video posted, I think "there can't possibly be something useful Vaknin hasn't already covered." Again: so, so wrong. More insanely articulate descriptions >>> more understanding >>> more compassion >>> more forgiveness >>> more freedom. Many thanks! Hang in there, Sam! Neh 6:3 You're a treasure.

49:59 All humans have right to feel needed. And everyone deserves to be loved and appreciated. This need it’s very important and we shouldn’t deceive ourselves by rejecting it. This is mostly visible in a home care settings when people struggling the most because most of the times no one loves them and needs them anymore. Good bless to all wounded people ❤

Love your descriptives.

Excellent discrimination between fear and terror.

thank you for telling the brutal truth professor.

Wow! I really enjoyed this video Mr. Vaknin. I learned a lot from this one.

I also agree with the hair on point comment. Though irrelevant, true.

Narcissistic Mortification is like sunlight to a vampire. same thing happens

Having a borderline abusive parent, I want to escape but I cant, I am suffering

The shackles of the taskmaster. The false self... The chance to escape. I think that is courageous realism to try to heal under the weight of one's false self. It's sad, but courageous to know and fate oneself like that. Yes?

Narcissists don't appear to like mortification as far as I can tell. If they're mortified, they collapse. If they collapse, they might commit suicide, or at least become profoundly depressed. I don't agree at all. Besides, they can, and often do, become violent.

The intimate partner, in their relationship with the narcissist takes on many narcissistic traits themselves. I believe I have heard you say as much. Does the discard with the accompanying pain, self recriminations and shame, also qualify as mortification but of the intimate partner? If so it presents itself as a portal back to the self and a life with reality testing, so maybe it's positive.

My ex-narc had one of his adult temper tantrums when working on someone's house and his nephew told him to back up away from the house, so what did he do, he was going to floor it and instead he ran right into the house totalling his vehicle . He broke his leg and was confronted with his temper and mortified I think because he had a breakdown and acted weird for over a year and my daughter said he cried all the time for months. When with me 27 years ago with me in the vehicle someone was driving too slow for him and he said watch this and he purposely ran into the back of the person's vehicle on purpose and told me to shut up when the lady told him to follow her to the police station. I wonder if he is worse than a narcissist.

"Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?"

I love this perspective

merci !!!!

Thank you 🙏

❤I know so much through your videos . I absolutely love your content of truth and learning.

After getting new job and new home. Mortification was the first thing i searched for. The result was hilarious. My sister is taking very powerfull antidepressant now 😂😂😂. I no longer have attachement so do not be surprised by my reaction.

Now that I have decided to end this nightmare, I know that this horrible man knows that this time is for real!!!! I suffer very much, but this decision will give me the chance to start a real mental and physical recovery for me. But I can tell, that I was the perfect victim of this horrendous man, and he abused so much of my lack of love that I feel... It's really really sad, how abusive he was with me. But no more!! Gracias Sam, I am just next to all your marvelous talks and lectures. From Mexico City.

Awesome 👏🏼 thanks

Sam I've noticed you don't have your Dr title on your amazon bio like other authors in the space. Worth updating! Those letters give customers confidence.

Thank you, Professor!

You are very good!

Could you please speak in your future videos about women who stalk other women. Why would a heterosexual woman stalk another heterosexual woman? How common is this type of stalking? How to protect your self from a woman who stalks,uses false accusations,public humiliation,smear campaign and serial mobbing from every work place all done by proxy. How does a woman who is a dark tetrad behave? How would a woman behave if she is a dark pentagram personality?

Impresionante, un huracán de conocimiento, muchas gracias

I wonder if there is a correlation between narcissism and autoimmune disorders, systemic cancers/medical disorders due to the pent up energy and self hatred?

Dr. Vaknin, would psychotropic drugs minimize or decrease symptoms of mortification/narc collapse. Or medication will only help stabilize mood but still will go into mortification/collapse?

Can't integrate the shadow.

It's kind of fun (and easy to do). All you have to do is say something true at just the right time and their entire system shuts down, even if just for a few minutes. As fast as they can lie, at that moment they have no idea what do say.

Hello Sam Im curious. I am convinced I was married to a narcissist and that I mortified him. He has never been diagnosed but all his actions tell me he is. 1st, the uncanny valley feeling people get from him, me included (but I made the HUGE mistake of ignoring when we met), the triabgulation, projection, cheating ( all of it). I caught him cheating with a married woman he works with. I thru him out, filed for divorce and told him I was going to tell everyone what a loser he was. At this point, I rejected 3 hoovers. First thing he did was stalk me. Showed up at my house, driving by at all hours. I blocked him on everything and told him all communication was to go thru attorneys. Now to the mortification (I think): he called our daughter 1st. He told her he had been awake for days ( could not sleep), was trembling uncontrollably, sweating, racing mind, no focus, depressed. My daughter called me and asked me to call him (she thought he was suicidal), so I called him. He told me everyone at work was looking at him funny and talking about him, mocking him. He said my family thinks he is a loser. He was crying non stop. He said he was breaking down and he believes it had something to do with his childhood. He started to talk about being a young child and a male neighbor coming over and giving him a beer (at this point I stopped him and told him to call a proffesionsl), he had incestous sex acts with his sister, etc, etc. I was compassionate and supportive toward him in the conversation. The next day, I get an email blaming me for all of the problems. He was literally trying to manufacture anything to make me responsible. Totally raging. I did not accept the charges and countered his email with the truthful story and pointed out to him every defect he has. The other woman ended the relationship when this all happened. He started to work non stop and I believe thats how he got his supply. Since this all happened, he has pulled it back together and he has been in 3 relationships in 9 months. Newest being a younger woman with 4 kids. Moving in together after 3 months of dating. In this video, you say once a mortification happens, the narcissist may introspect and use this to get help, because once it happens, he knows somethings wrong. I don't see this. It may have made him wiser, sneakier, more deceptive, but not trying to resolve the core problem he has. He is 55 and to this day tries to cast me as the bad guy (from my kids). Do you believe the need to get mortified is a cycle that never ends? Does the whole process of lovebomb, Devalue, discard cycle faster? Great video.

Wow! This is amazing, complicated and has me questioning my self concept.My family is narcissistic. They do not have the ability to empathize. I am the scapegoat but I think I have or (had)some narcissistic traits. After a happy and successful marriage. I’m widowed and after nine years I became instantly attracted to someone inappropriate but he made it clear immediately he was not attracted to me at all. I need to process this with a therapist. I am doing better but still somewhat obsessed and I don’t want to be.

I pointed out to A Narcissist i know, that the only reason he gets so many Women is because of what he's got on offer. As in a materialistic item he has to give these women who are quing up for him. (Read between the lines) I think my honest observation wounded his very essence of what he thinks he is and why. He hasn't spoke to me or answered my texts messages since i said this flippant , yet perspective comment of why he has the ability/goods to lure these women in. Two weeks now not heard a thing 🤣 so true this video.

Is setting boundaries a mortification?

Did you cut your nails today? Love them.

What is your advise for people that cant escape the cycle of abuse and have to deal with it, maybe still for 3 years or longer? Since I can't get a place of my own, my parent is very limiting and controling, she is pushing and pulling, I already have plans to prioritize meditation and live as simple as possible, as the smallest things are really difficult for me- feeling low energy and high anxiety levels.

The depth of my consciousness causes me to suffer! is it a blessing or is it a curse to feel everything so very deeply?

Why are there so many in the world? Walking among us.

I'm really curious about disordered (narcissists, psychopaths) men from Cuba. They seem like a special kind of narcissist (or psychopath). Are they also traumitized by the Castro regime? This would be in addition to their communist family. For the person I'm curious about, his father ranked highly in the military. They were well off financially.

Dear mr Vaknin, here u say with retraumatasation and mortification there is a chance of healing. Most of the time u reference that narcissm isnt healeble. How does these statements fit togerher?

You look younger. Don’t see as much gray.i need your youth serum.

Nice hair ;)

Are they inclined to be suicidal due to their disposition ?

where is the father?

Salvadore Dale's mind😂

Interesting. So it was mortification I felt