This happened to me! I served him papers on surprise and he tried to hover back. Sadly, I was hopeful. I soon learned that he was hovering me so I would stop the divorce. Once he learned I would not put a pause on the divorce, he discarded me immediately. All the while, he was on Tinder, with multiple women with no intention to get better and find new supply. It is so hard to face reality and give up hope. They are never normal with any guilt, empathy or remorse. It is so hard to wrap your head around it

Wow..just wow 😮😢..it's going to take me some time to process this 😢..but using my situation and what's actually happened, I know you're right and telling it straight. This is a hard pill to swallow and I don't even know if I can.

Ben, your most honest, open and real video. It is all about power.

This is just sadistic. I have had some struggles in life...very abusive father both mentally and physically. The amount of trauma over the years has been immense. All of it doesn't hold a candle to my cover narcissistic wife of 20 years (which I just discovered). There is nothing I can say, not a soul I can turn to, no therapist that relates (she manipulates them). I'm isolated and just destroyed by toxic shame and embarrassment. She has turned my neighbors against me in a smear campaign and character assassination. They think I'm a wife beater (not true) and a drug addict (not true). She has dehumanized me, degraded me, and cuckolded me 🤦. All while denying it and turning it around on me and playing the victim.😢 It's a new kid of internal pain that is soul crushing. I fear for my children and our future. I don't have energy, motivation, fight, pride, or dignity left inside me. I'm a shell of my former self. Everyone thinks she is the greatest. The worst is when someone tells me how lucky I am to have her 🤦that's the worst! I'm trapped, I'm lost, and nobody can sympathize with me. That's one of the worst parts. She is so damn good. And I can't fight her...I'm so outclassed in this department. The first session with my therapist who does this sort of thing...I told her a single story and at the end she was in shock and said,"In ally years this is the worst I have ever heard, and I have heard some horrible stuff!". I said DON'T TELL ME THAT!!! I knew it was bad I didn't realize it was that level bad. I feel like this is going to kill me. If anyone reads this pray 🙏 for me!

9:09 - DAMNNN. Deep. Gods totally working through you. It’s obvious.

You are you blunt and honest, I love it!!! You are right, its a choice.

Thanks Ben. Every time I hear you refer to him, for me, it's she

The pain I am in is going to kill me. Discarded w a post it. He promised to try. Even hired Dr.Hawkins at NPD center in Seattle.

Zero hope! No no no. Dump them and don’t look back!

Thank you for speaking the truth, Ben. Heartbreaking…. 💔 …. again…. but I think you’re right.

Thank you Ben👍

I almost agree with you. I don't think the narcissist chooses this every time, but I still think he can have enough influence to make a different decision. What I'm saying is, I suspect the narcissist has a broken operating system, but knows this and prefers his faulty system out of convenience because he has little or no emotional empathy. But I think he is responsible for his change of mindset and it is therefore necessary for him to understand his actions through cognitive empathy, change them and thus reduce the damage. Thanks for sharing your opinion :)

I just know my narcissist cousin is going to start doing things to be nice after I tell him he has to move out. So what do I say when he does? Ignore it? Gray rock him? Tell him I know what he’s doing, it’s too late, nothing he does will change my mind? We are both 71. I’m going to give him no later than Nov 1 to find a place and have ALL his stuff moved out. He also has a big dog most places won’t allow. He’ll most likely go back to the state he was living in before. I put off throwing him out way too long, 7 years, until I found out he had been a dick to my grown kids too, and both recently told me he was never allowed in their homes again. I’m watching your videos to learn how to handle telling him. Facts only. And be firm! It’s going to be very hard, but my sanity and family mean more to me. He’s terrible with money and owes me a lot after many warnings. He had it made at my house, a nice yard for his dog, a shop for his hobby, and he blew it!!!