Gosh I am so sorry!!!!!! I have a boy and he is my only child as well. I couldn’t imagine. I understand what you meant when you said you died when he died. My heart breaks for you. Sending you tons of prayers, positive vibes and a HUGE virtual hug 🫂🙏🏻🫂🙏🏻🫂🙏🏻🫂🙏🏻🫂🙏🏻🫂🙏🏻

❤❤ so sorry for ur loss

😢

So sorry for your loss 💔

so sorry for your loss

Wrong god

Been clean for 12 years! Heroin was the devil. So grateful I can be there for my son ❤

Congratulations on your sobriety and thank you for sharing💖

I'm finally clean from the heroin/fentynal/xylazine bags and Xanax. I never thought I would ever get clean Started at 19 and I'm 32 now and I never went more than 2 days without it! I never ever thought I would get clean. I'm at a year and a half! No idea how she can say it's more addictive than any other drug when never trying any other drug. I've definitely done nitrous and heroin and Xanax totally destroyed me.

Wow, girl! A sincere congratulations to you! Here's to wishing you a lifetime of the peace that sobriety brings. 🥰

Your worst days sober still blow away your best days using!!

Hang in there ❤️ you’re still here for a reason

@@Mathrss growing up is realizing you have to deal with the personal trauma you experienced as a child and young adult. Thank you for the kind words.

Is that a joke?

level headed? definitely not. self aware? yeah.

Rofl, this generation can find an excuse for anything.... Level headed like a 90 degree angle...

She’s a wierdo. I don’t know how she eats etc, what does she do for work? These people use our infrastructure, what do they contribute to it? I’ve got no time for people who don’t contribute to our infrastructure.

Yeah, watch her use this as traffic for her OF. That's all people care about

I swear when I was a young adult, the dentist I used to go to I was sure that he was always high on the gas. Was still a great dentist but for sure I could tell and it always did feel a little weird to somehow know that. But I still kept going to him because he had state of the art technology in his office and he was knowledgeable.

That's crazy! He's gonna f somebody up!

The irony.

Exterminators back in the 50's got high on their chemicals. Crazy stuff​@lisamo2598

so little shop of horrors was based off truth huh. good to know

Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.

Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.

How can i find him? Is he on Instagram

Yes he's Dr.alishrooms. Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence

Same I loved that show. I still quote “Walkin on Sunshine” lady from time to time

I remember that chick was a lunatic! Her family called and had her cats taken away because they were concerned about the cats well being.

Sorry to hear that. People don't realize you can even die from water or oxygen overdose. Critical things that your body needs to survive. If not regulated, you're done.

Totally do. this shit been around since 80s in local smoke shops.

I work in the ICU, had a 35 yo firefighter patient die from whippets too, so heartbreaking

That usually happens if someone does them standing up, passes out, and cracks their head on concrete... I believe you! It's not normally something that people do every day, but it causes vitamin b-12 deficiency when done daily. It also oxidizes and affects bioavailability of b-12 vitamins for at least a few days afterwards, so supplementing b-12 isn't really possible during its use. If you are talking toxicity, it's really the b-12 deficiency that can eventually cause nerve damage if done for probably a timespan of multiple years of daily use. When people do use them I always recommend that they take b-12 vitamins for at least a few days afterwards.

That stuff eventually fucks with the nerves by depleting one of B vitamins.

@gabzas00 eh some people are forced to be raised into shitty situations and it shows you can’t comprehend that. You need to work at getting more educated about how life works in the real world with real people.

@gabzas00 yet you’re a loser. I’d never talk with a poor plebe like you. I think you have the mentally disabled mentality.

@gabzas00Trauma changes a person and we are not all the same, not all capable of doing the same things.

@@1FairyGothMother you can either be a survivor or a victim victims never heal, survivors do. You can have a life of meaning, that looks different for everybody, but the things that are meaningful are pretty universal. like the people you love the relationship you have with yourself. some people just live better than others they can have less and live way better some people are so poor all they have is money, at the end of the day the journey within is the most important one, and the journey is the destination.

@gabzas00 what's actually fascinating is how you can continue repeating yourself while missing the point entirely, especially if you have spent any amount of time watching the videos on this channel. Point out to me where anyone said that improving your life's circumstances takes no effort? It's actually you who is putting those words in the mouths of those you are replying to. Good for you if you've overcome some hardship in your life and are doing great, round of applause ok? Would be more impressive though if you came out of it with a shred of empathy and self-awareness and that it doesn't make you an expert on the struggles of everyone else in the world. You seem to want to argue and insert your tired bootstraps advice more than listen, but just to be clear, I don't think anyone in this comment section or even the SWU interviewees would find "saying people need to put in effort to improve their life is so controversial." However maybe reread the first comment you replied to where all they said is "everyone just wants a good life and everyone sadly doesn't get that." The rest of us are fascinated at how YOU find that controversial. Your arrogance really shows when you say, "I know trauma changes the trajectory of someone's life. I've lived it." So, what you've lived all the traumas? lol A child living in a refugee camp in Gaza who lost all their family? check. Homeless teenager living on skid row addicted to fentanyl and suffering from schizophrenia? check you know all about that too right Sure, you can always strive and keep a positive attitude to marginally improve your circumstances, and if you keep at it things can align and you can even find success or true happiness even from the worst of situations. However, just blaming people that they're "not prepared to do the work to have a good life" is so tone deaf and arrogant I just cannot take you seriously. It's fascinating and really just depressing that even with a channel like this where there are hundreds of interviews with people explaining in depth how they ended up where they are, that you can still centre yourself and your own experiences while having zero compassion and emotional intelligence.

She lies about everything for attention

Lol

She's trying to get attention and she's so overweight and has trouble breathing due to obesity.

She ruined herself I think she has a lot of guilt

@@FLBeautyQueen agreed, it was for attention.

I went to a show in Boston in the early 90s, and someone fell from the 3rd story of the parking garage doing nitrous.

Many shows since early ‘80s and the “lot tanks” definitely picked up big time by the end of the decade. Hippie crack. First sound you heard upon arriving…and last upon leaving. However, that was REAL nitrous…and still can be had at actual gas shops in most cities. The shit they’re selling at vape shops in those little cans ARE NOT the same thing and pose a much greater health risk than the real stuff when taken responsibly. Everything in moderation. Many fun times at private parties streaming shows and sharing the hose. 😅 I hope she stays clean off that vape store crap. Probably made in China.

@imanalien2222 Yes, hippie crack was the street name back then, ahaha. The woosh of the tank filling the balloon must be the sound you are referring to. I wish her the best as well. Hopefully, sharing her story will prevent someone from using that stuff and causing harm to their health and life.

I love n2o ngl but hate how it effected the lot and I’ve seen tanks ran off lot on SCI tour and in my riskier days used to go around lot popping ppls balloons with a chunk of citrine I used to carry around. Maybe she had too much too fast?

​@@imanalien2222even if u get the medical grade it still depletes the B12 in ur body

Dude this sounds exactly like my story! Both substance I was addicted to. Benzos and nitrous. Also left treatment! In a total altered mental state. Couldn’t communicate right. Tremors twitches. Fear of driving and fear of even going outside!!! Numb hands and feet. Could barely walk. Been off it 2 years sadly slipped on Benzos

You guys are so inspiring. I hope more people find your strength!

Oh wow a survivor. God bless you🙏

I’m so curious.. How did y’all pay for all that hospitalization and treatment?

@@mariaweydert7505 insurance

Whaaaaaat? That is actually crazy.

Wild

U should watch her 1st interview with swu she had an ex that was very mentally abusive and literally hated her self

Google her before the modifications. She was so beautiful.. she wanted to be different and you're right it's from insecurities.

@@Dustinfightsdemons she was gorgeous before. whenever i see someone change their appearance so drastically, i wonder why. she was beautiful before but not intimidating at all like she is now. i bet she uses this look almost like armor. yeah some people might think she looks like a freak, but she also looks like someone who won’t be messed with. i saw that she’s found work as a tattoo artist/apprentice and it makes me happy she’s found a career that is accepting of her appearance while also not being based around it.

@camdecay she was a porn star even before the mods and it just seems like she never really had someone love her and treat her right. Most of the girls I know that do that line of work are searching for something they didn't or don't get. A lot of the people with these sorts of mods were really ugly before they got them and they use them to hide but she was stunningly beautiful and you can tell by listening to her that she has a good head on her shoulders and that's the reason it's so shocking to me. Have you watched her no jumper interview? It's sad

You're right! She struggles significantly & battles with Depression. My heart hurts for her.

Anyone who destroys their body like her is 💯 not happy. Even her hand tat says, “lonely.” ⭐️When you choose the actions, you choose the consequences.⭐️

100%

I mean, I agree with you, but this middle aged woman was fooling no one with trying to say she was content or happy. Despite what people say or even if they say it with a smile on their face, the body modifications just on the face alone are indicative of deep mental disorders and a dark, negative energy. Women like this are almost always bipolar and/or schizophrenic, she's likely manic or recently came down from a borderline psychotic break right now too

So true. I knew something would happen.

Intentions > actions > words

I believe what you said but just curious why she isn't in prison if she killed her child in an auto accident due to being on/ doin drugs?

How did that happen? If u don't mind the question.

It's still not completely clear, it never will be, but it seems the addiction had become so bad she had severe cirrohsis of the liver by 20 years old and one night she inhaled too much so they think she just fell to the floor asleep and never woke up, there were cannisters everywhere in her flat and it seems the addiction had taken over her life.

@@srw2305 wow I'm sorry to hear that. Inhalants are no joke.

She probably makes most of her money on OF

She's not a tattoo artist. She's a stripper. She just dated one which is why she has all of the work.

Wow... surreal. I'm glad you were ok.... I just pray they stay out of vehicles

I’m so glad you didn’t get hurt.

Ive seen many young people doing it say their parked cars around where I live. I have to imagine they’re driving on it too. Wild

I’m glad you’re okay ❤

... drove into ...

❤ is all I can say.

I was following Orylan for a while and she seemed so self-possessed and healthy, I wasn’t worried about her at all, except for the usual shit that we go through, dancing in clubs and dealing with guys, online, but she has a great understanding of what that is and what it isn’t. I didn’t realize it had been so long since I visited her channel, and I had no idea she was struggling. This just goes to show that addiction can happen to anybody. I am so glad she has found recovery!

I didn’t realize it had been so long since I’ve visited her channel. I have a similar background to hers, in the industry, but my experience was more on the streets, at the beginning. She really has a good understanding of what it is and isn’t, and has what it takes to persevere. I can relate to not being concerned about becoming addicted, because I wasn’t into drugs…until I used the wrong one. I’m so glad Orylan has found recovery! There will be really strong cravings, but for me, they got fewer and farther between, starting at about 6 months, and again at 1 1/2 but it would still happen, for about 3 years. Then, it was like having a full factory reset, like the neuroscience research says. And if you have a lapse, you don’t have to start all over with the healing unless it becomes a relapse, though I’m sure it doesn’t help, but it’s not the end of the world. Having a plan for what to do and who to talk to if that happens really helps. I hope she reads some of the new scientific based information for people struggling with Substance Use Disorders…it helped me so much. Love and compassion are much more effective than shaming and stigma, so please be kind to yourself, Orylan, and lots of love from someone who has been there! ❤. You got this.

She was screwed up the last time you saw her she just wasn't admitting it.

Same!!!!

@@sciencenotsrigma You saw all those tattoos and body modifications on a beautiful young woman, and you weren't worried about her at all?

I agree I chose different and I wish I had made a different decision. Now I have 4years. Sober and I feel free and forgiven. Thank you. Blessings Be.

Nitrous has always given me bad nausea, probably because I have stomach problems already, so it has never been my thing, but it definitely has a way of taking away anxiety and pain. They say it only affects anxiety, but it does help me with dental pain, if only because the body and mind are connected. I have chronic pain from physical causes I have (finally) proven through imaging, etc., and worry and stress ALWAYS make my pain worse. When I did develop an addiction, it was in the course of treatment for my chronic pain. Or, rather, after my pain treatment was suddenly discontinued, because my doctor left the practice without giving me a taper or referral. I can relate to Orylan, and everyone who has self-medicated any kind of physical or mental pain, loss, or anxiety. Usually, it has been intolerable for some time, before this happens. Substance Use Disorder is a complex and serious condition. It’s not caused by being stupid and not wanting the party to stop, so I hope Orylan completely tunes out anyone who doesn’t understand. It’s cool that you can appreciate how powerful nitrous oxide can be. If one’s brain is in a state of chemical imbalance before trying it, it will be even more powerful, because it (or whatever substance) can level things out, temporarily. The more I study and learn about it, the more firmly I believe that Substance Use Disorder is no one’s fault. It’s a disorder, and it does not discriminate. I would not have guessed Orylan would be affected by it, because you can’t! It can happen to anyone. Like her, I didn’t have any trouble putting substances I had tried down, and figured I didn’t have an addictive personality…until the wrong one was introduced. Everyone’s chemistry is different, so if we try a drug that is supposed to addict people in one use and it doesn’t, and have never used alcohol compulsively or liked weed (I didn’t either), it’s too easy to believe it doesn’t affect us. It’s probably a good thing, for you, that you were able to grasp the incredible hold a substance can have on a person, in the dentist’s chair. I wish I had known methadone clinics treat pain, when my doctor moved, because the whole destructive next decade of my life would never have happened. It would save people a lot of trouble, if a pamphlet with alternative treatment and addiction resources was given out, at pain clinics, in case a patient’s care is interrupted, and/or they become addicted, rather than waiting for people to find out, in court ordered treatment…after they have lost their careers and clean legal records. That’s where I found out about Suboxone, which covers some of my pain, without developing tolerance (due to how it’s formulated) and am continually tested, which helps me stay away from other substances. I guess, for nitrous, medically assisted treatment might mean mental health care., but that applies to any substance, as 95% of patients in SUD treatment, in my local area, are also taking medication for a major mental illness. The dentist’s office would do well to give out a mental health and addiction resources pamphlet, too. As a society, we need to remove the stigma, and realize this is a disorder anyone can develop, at any time and make sure they have resources and support for their recovery!

@@sciencenotsrigma I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this. I'm glad that you've come out on the other side with the wisdom to be able to communicate your experiences to others who it might help.

I remember getting my wisdom teeth extracted and the feeling of pure bliss I had in that dental chair. I could definitely see how people chase that 💯

I can't help but be jealous. I had a couple obgyn procedures this year under nitrous oxide and it barely helped. It causes some dissociation, confusion, a bit of numbing, but still traumatizing. Never again.

Humans are evil. Monsters don't exist but humans do.

Your stepson should try actual drugs instead of that dumbsht.

Thank goodness I don't like it. Tried it a couple times when friends had it and I just don't get it. I also dated a heroin addict and didn't get that either (didn't even see real weed until I met him) but im terrified of needles so that helped

@@snuff2023 why would you say this to someone who's son is going through this. Weird.

My thoughts and positivity go out to you Lin. Hopefully he recovers❤️

@@snuff2023 Me, me me!

this is "doing better?"

It also causes memory loss and infertility.

It can deprive the body of oxygen, just like another well-known gas: carbon monoxide. Both are potentially lethal. Even at lower levels, chronic exposure to either can cause damage.

I think she was talking about the whippets but yea that caught my attention too.

Nah, that was not a euphemism. Listen to the Exorcist Files. The occult is full of fake shit, but demons are real and opening doors to that shit is actually dangerous.

she look like one

What's going on with her eyes? I hope she stays sober and wish her the best.

@@sct296her eyeballs are tattooed

Same wtf lol

It’s a child’s drug. Hence what you see here.

Agreed, I did it when I was a teen.

Maybe that was real nitrous and this isn't 🤷‍♀️. I just don't believe her.

Same. I'm so surprised that people are addicted! What!

she is also doing only fans, tattooing her whole self, struggling with addiction (like 2 months isn't that long to be sober). She might go back to it when the depression of only fans hit and the depression of having no family (no husband or kids). Oh May God save her. She is far from okay.

Only fans is one of the saddest rabbit holes that so many are falling down without realizing it. It soul robbing the worst choice you could make.

@@livingintheforest3963 I hope women stop selling themselves especially since they are in well off countries. Imagine what they would do if they lived in my country Nigeria? People will die to come to America, but Americans are throwing their lives away. It's a great confusion going on.

I'd bet my house she's BPD

💯

Who asked you?

🙏❤️🙏

Hmmm. I see. You're a psychologist and just put out your diagnosis based on a YT video. How unprofessional and nobody cares about your OPINION

I don't think she is self aware... she ruined her life in less than 5 years. That's some incredible degree of ignorance.

Probably BPD or Bipolar

@@InteractiveIdea freudian slip much?

@@myredpencil I have dyslexia. I sometimes don't see the errors while staring right at them.

Right. Peace and love

People with borderline personality tend to have tumultuous relationships with people closest to them to put it lightly

Whats her channel name

@@pepinyostep3592it’s house her name, Orylan

Yes, it does. Like these people who are in the Maga Cult and Trump. They will see.

@@pepinyostep3592just search her name

It's really big in Europe, small kids like 10-16 and above do it. They sell it mostly in small kiosks and vending machines. It's cheap and they don't know that this shit gonna kill you.

Same

@@lakka1148that’s tragic

🔥🔥

That’s where he started his photography career, back as a young dude in Chicago, going to punk shows and such. He’s always been attracted to the “underbelly” if you will

Check out the Merle Allin interviews

Love punk, it never dies, just gets harder to find

mark did every drug and fugged every bitch

Don't be stupid. Life doesn't work that way. Things don't just "happen" most of the time. She actively did this to herself...

Same. I'm trying so hard not to be judgmental but I can't see past the tatted eye balls 👀 and the filed down teeth! It gives me the chills.

When you can't fix the inside...

Tbh, I don't mind anything, I'd never hang out with someone looking wild like this (say what you will, but I'm being honest). That silicone implant is the most. Ridiculous thing ever... unnecessary incision on your body, but hello, research the horrific side effects of implants (mostly breast that I am aware of) that could also be what's causing her to deathly ill.

@@camdencosigner2606The eyes make me the most sad. When she goes blind, her life will be so different.

@@simpinainteasyRHEC Also, there's a lot of recent information connecting tats with cancer. Im old enough to have seen the majority of tattoos on mostly the biker community. I watched how the media (tattoo shows, ink shows) ramped up the patronage. Now people are creating "sleeves" on their arms.

Same to you. God bless you

Thanks from north Florida usa

Thanks from Cedar Rapids,Iowa USA. God bless you!

Thank you from Florida! Much love 💛

Wishing you all a joyous day! Much love from Alabama, USA 🥰💜🤗

She said she used to be 125lb now shes 180lb nah she at least 220lb

@@eyezikandexploits she's probably short. everyone's body carries weight differently. there's really no need to speculate. why would she lie about that

We think of most people as the same, but there are some very fragile, thin skinned individuals that need help which includes physical, as well as mental health and kind words, and a smile goes along ways, all of that to some of these thin skinned people. The rest of us just kind of keep soldering on take the beating and move forward, it develops a thicker skin, etc., but some people are so very fragile.

I seen her before she started getting tat's, she use to be the perfect looking girl

@@Charles-ij1owhow she looks isn’t her problem

No, you're not the only one. It's got to be a joke.

Nope! That got me too. I had to replay that part, I couldn’t believe my ears. 😂 It made more sense as to why I was confused, after she reminded us that she still to this day has never tried hard drugs. I’m not knocking her, I wish her only the best, but she has no idea. I hope that it stays that way

It’s because it’s all about her experience and the attention she receives.

That was insulting 😂 she literally said she hasn’t tried any other drugs

Totally depends on the person in my opinion.. and how the brain responds to it he substance. I did meth for 6 months straight and then maybe a year off and on. No physical withdrawals of meth besides very tired and depressed. Not being able to sleep or eat and looking terrible - add in the extreme paranoia and anxiety after a bender made it really easy for me to quit. Nitrous was just so relaxing to me that when after a day of work and helped me sleep and was sooo accessible it was hard to not buy more. Just MY experience. Some people hate nitrous and don’t understand why anyone would use it recreationally.

i have struggled also with 9 2kg cilindrs a day at my worst, try to take at least 2000mcg b12 a day to compensate for the inactive b12 and stay out of a wheelchair, i am clean for over half a year now and its the worst addiction to come off from, i used 3mmc as a means to stop this addiction. 3mmc is much better managable and its effects are not so destructive for your body.

You just want to escape reality really bad, it's not addictive lol.

congrats on the 13 days so far that's huge, hope your journey continues to go well!

You should be incredibly proud of yourself! We can & do recover!!

@candyrockz u got this beautiful keep going loves ❤I fought a addiction for years and finally got clean and was homeless and my husband and I bought a house 2yrs ago do keep choosing to do the right thing it's not easy but worth it ❤MUCH LOVES TO EVERYONE ❤

Too many expect others to be perfect or meet their expectations. This world is so fkn sad.

First, she needs to love herself.

Not everyone has trauma.

But she's lying

Speak for yourself, I watch this channel purely for ENTERTAINMENT purposes.... for the meek, the weak, the freaks, & the sideshow geeks.

Same. Amen

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 ✌🏻🇦🇺🌏🤘🏻

There's a lot of us in the shadows but addictive personality is a bitch and an illness amen

My mom's favorite expression

So true , what a waste

Yungblud Reference?

@@NebulaNeko-qp7xl oh my god u are a loser... lol. its just a fucking expression lots of people use yungblud didn't fucking make it up

Smashing pumpkins 🎃

I see you, & I’m glad you’re still here, Brother!! Not everyone makes it out of the darkness of addiction, & into the beautiful light of sobriety. ✊🏽 I had to replay that part when she said that, lol. She has no idea!! I hope it stays that way. 🙏🏽I’m not knocking her & wish her only the best.

@@Rochelle721 thank you for saying that! And most definitely, I wish her the best. Any addiction is terrible but shouldn't be compared that way. Especially when the person comparing them doesn't have personal experience. But yeah I hope she stays on the right path!

Nothing worse than Benzo withdrawal...Valium Addict😥

@@depaor50 I agree. Benzo withdrawals can actually kill you. Keep your head up and be safe. Get some help when your ready. I'll be praying for you.....

Exactly- and saying its one of the most expensive drugs out there? Lol. Nothing wrong with knowing little about drugs, but its not cool to pretend like you know what you’re talking about & act like an authority. Especially when its an epidemic and so many are struggling

🍪🍪🍪

Everything except the tattoos etc. it’s not the same type of addiction… maybe you don’t know that.

It's called "choice". You do you and don't judge others.

@@corleonesavannah5978 nope I don’t know honestly. I worked with a Jewish woman back in my 20’s who absolutely loved tattoos but she didn’t have any. I asked her when she was going to get her first one. She said she isn’t because she wanted to visit the temple in jeruselum on day and it was forbidden for anyone with tattoos to enter. That’s what sealed my decision. I was good enough when I was born without anything on my body and I’ll die that way. I think it makes me more unique anyways. Plus I am very fair and I don’t like the way they look on fair skin. But to each their own, I am friends and family with a ton of people who love their tattoos. I have nothing against them , they are just not for me.

@@kimthompson3846 who is judging?? I am being unique by not choosing tattoos that’s all. Most of my family and friends have tattoos and I have nothing against them , it’s just not for me.