Obesity: The Conversation That Changed My Perspective Forever

Рет қаралды 5,662

28 күн бұрын

Obesity: my personal story, with special thanks to my sister for happily allowing me to talk about this.
Buckle up. It’s a big one.
Recently someone accused me of “virtue signaling”, talking about a topic just because it would “make my channel look good”.
Don’t get me wrong, it was a very polite accusation from someone who follows me, but an accusation nonetheless.
And you know what? I totally understand the skepticism.
A lot of social media is pretty fake. A lot of people fake outrage and talk about topics that they don’t actually care about because they are good for clicks.
But that’s not actually why I am here.
I have been making content for 15 years now. If I didn’t talk about topics that I was actually passionate about, there is no way I would still be here. I don't talk about obesity, weight discrimination, and reasons some people find it harder to lose weight than others because I think it makes my channel look good. I do it because they are topics I care about, deeply.
So, let me talk to you about something very personal to me.
My incredible sister, Emily (aka Em aka Em Phlegm aka ‘shittyface’, depending on how well you know her).
And tell you about a conversation that completely reshaped my perspective of weight loss.
P.S. At the end of each post, I remind you that my best-selling book, ‘Everything Fat Loss’ is currently on sale as an audiobook, plus digital/print versions from Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, Google, and Amazon with an extra 27% off in Canada and an extra 14% off in the US. Please feel free to grab it before the price goes up.
geni.us/EverythingFatLoss

Пікірлер: 60

@dangallagher6176 26 күн бұрын

Couldn't agree more with you Ben. I think a great analogy is studying in school - getting straight A's is also technically a choice, but one that requires immense sacrifice for some people depending on their genes and environment.

@kaet4031 16 күн бұрын

We learned about this in medschool actually. This was a couple of years ago and I'm not sure if this has been updated, but I remember they showed us a study where they measured different hormone levels after weight loss. Now how the professor explained it fat cells produce the hunger hormone ghrelin. While dieting the fat amount per fat cell or adipocyte decreases, while the amount of fat cells stays the same. Now the cells relase the hunger hormone signaling the body/brain basically that they need to be refilled. I don't remember the exact data but it was a longitudinal study and they found higher ghrelin levels even one or three years after weightloss in people who were now in a normal BMI range compared to people who had never been overweight, indicating that people who have been overweight before stay more hungry than people who have always had a "normal" weight even years after weight loss.

@chris420uk 26 күн бұрын

Wow. I'm a lean person and have been all my life. But my sister and rest of family are obese. You've completely changed the way I look at it in 4mins. Amazing job!

@navypinkdesign 13 күн бұрын

I was a FFK and struggle with an eating disorder even to this day. But things began to change when I started appreciating the overweight body in the mirror as: just a stage in my life meant to humble me, to nurture my kindness and empathy, to look for mental stimulation and find beauty from the inside. It was about forgiving myself for not being active enough about my health and reminding myself that the body I want, the confidence I want, the life I want, will all take time. And to not beat myself up about every time I sit in a chair for hours or overeat. When I gave that kindness back to my self, it became easier to make better choices like walking more and helped me to recognize when I was bored rather than hungry. The eating disorder is more manageable now and I see myself being more in control of my habits, more self aware at the least. I lost 30lbs in a year and have kept it off. And it all started with being a best friend to the person in the mirror. And to say goodbye to the judgmental prick in my head. ❤ Good luck to everyone on their journey to better health. It may not be true for everyone but I know my success started from within.

@emmobrien 26 күн бұрын

Thanks for a great video. As someone that is 5’10 and has been 80kg, 160kg, and everywhere in between at various stages of my life.. I’ve never, ever not been ravenously hungry. Actually there was a brief 2 month period at one time when I was on Duromine and for the only time I can remember, I wasn’t hungry 20 minutes after eating. Obviously completely unsustainable, but it was interesting (and somewhat upsetting) to know what that felt like. I maintain a decent weight now, and just try to focus my diet on more satiating foods and don’t beat myself up too much when the willpower inevitably cracks. Keep marching on!

@razia6046 26 күн бұрын

From a 53 year currently in menopause: Thank you very much for this video!

@MamaBrito 26 күн бұрын

Thanks to your sister for letting you share, and you for making her story heard. It's so easy for people to get discouraged because of "simple" advice and neglect considering all the other factors.

@nottherealmccoy4955 26 күн бұрын

So true and beautifully articulated & rendered, Ben! I''m 69 & started Mounjaro weight loss injections 3 months ago & for the first time in my life I experience satiety after a meal. Previously, "satiety" meant having a painfully distended stomach & acute discomfort!! I've always had a healthy diet too, but too many calories still makes you obese. Down 17kg with maybe 10kg to go! :)

@kaileek8805 24 күн бұрын

You've made so many great videos, Ben, but this might be my favorite one yet! I really appreciate your honesty and the effort and energy your sister continuously puts into her health and fitness journey. You're both doing amazing things :)

@xIronwafflexx 26 күн бұрын

I've tried explaining this to people, and it just never lands. They either don't get it, or refuse to believe it. Excessive hunger signaling freaking sucks, and becomes worse if you get into the position of becoming insulin resistant, which just becomes a freaking nightmare.

@CursedWheelieBin 26 күн бұрын

Some of us have to work harder than others but I don’t think that’s why there are so many more obese people today than say, a century ago. Most of us are cluelessly and hopelessly at the mercy of ultra processed, calorie dense, nutrient stripped foods that are designed to hijack these in-built satiety signals and get us wanting more and more without ever feeling reasonably satiated . I started skinny, then muscular, then fat, now back down to lean after yeeeears of yo-yoing 🪀 What Ben said about the body fighting to put weight back on is a very sneaky trick our brains pull on us. It’s so easy to rationalise over-eating when you’ve no idea how many calories you’ve consumed.

@xIronwafflexx 26 күн бұрын

@@CursedWheelieBin To a point yes, but some people like myself, can eat veggies and chicken breasts with no oil or butter, and still eat around 4k calories a day. I struggle to stay at 3000, which is a slight deficit for me, 3200ish is maintenance for me. It's extremely hard to eat a variety of foods while being limited financially. At one point, I could afford to to spend around $480 a month in lean meat, veggies, and low carb bread and low calorie deli meats, now I'm on a tighter budget, and it's difficult to have any variety outside of chicken breasts and veggies, and trying to use rice, pasta and beans to keep costs down, but still eat enough volume without eating too many calories. Most people with normal hunger signaling can just cut the junk out of their diet, and see really good results, and some can do pretty much everything right, and still struggle with over eating due to hunger signaling. I've had heartburn because I've eaten too much, and will still get hunger queues, when I don't have room for anything. It's an odd feeling to be stuffed to the rafters, and still feel hungry.

@TornikeJS 26 күн бұрын

I'm on weight loss and I've been yoyoing whole life (30KG spectrum lol). And I was this person blaming the fat (my self included) for being lazy while I've never been lazy lol. You channel change my perspective on a lot of bullshit I used to believe (Sean's channel too) on this subject.

@BenCarpenter 26 күн бұрын

I think “laziness” is a funny adjective because people often use it at anyone who doesn’t go to the gym, or has more body fat, but that kind of implies they are just a lazy human in general. I bet there are many gym rats who don’t make their bed, don’t do the dishes, don’t keep up to date on their accounts, don’t do mobility work or any number of things that they probably should do, but they aren’t called lazy if they go to the gym 😁

@CursedWheelieBin 26 күн бұрын

@@BenCarpenterYes, the end result is what’s misjudged as “lazy” when the reason for not doing something is often just that the individual simply doesn’t see the benefit. It’s like the line in Office Space: “It’s not that I’m lazy. It’s that I just don’t care”. I was called lazy yesterday for turning down a PT who asked me to take part in his circuit training consisting of burpees, star jumps etc. I had my leg workout all planned out and went ahead with that. Mindlessly pouring energy into something like a hamster on a wheel is all too often regarded as a meaningful use of time

@Dragonmoon8526 26 күн бұрын

So true. Someone in my life, who is diabetic, started one of the new medications that has finally triggered their weight loss. This is after a lifetime of losing 15 to 20 pounds, plateauing, than gaining the weight back plus (because of other medications). People who shame others for their weight and assume it's simply because of "life" choices clearly don't understand the nuances of the human body. For many, it is not a simple choice of exercise and caloric deficit.

@BenCarpenter 26 күн бұрын

This is a perfect comment example to help support the new research study in a video I am posting tomorrow; the appetite response to losing weight 🙂

@ravidahal5790 26 күн бұрын

Just woke up to this wonderful vide, thanks Ben.

@TeMp3rr0r 26 күн бұрын

I totally understand and I mostly agree with you Ben. I also belong to the people that naturally have a huge appetite. I was always naturally chubby, around 30-35% for all my life, till the age of 32. I am a natural bodybuilder and I have been lifting seriously for the past 6 years. I sort of understand what a highly satiating diet is: lots of protein and loads of fiber. However, if I do not count calories, I will naturally climb up to 105 kg and 35% bodyfat. I took me 4 HARD years to get down to 12% bodyfat, which I maintain for the past year. I MUST count calories daily, otherwise I can not stay lean. I still believe staying obese is a choice. It is just much harder for some people like me. It is a daily struggle to stay lean! But it can be done and it feels amazing to look in the mirror and feel healthy and proud! :D

@Donkle365 26 күн бұрын

It's not a choice as simple as "oh it's warm today so I will wear shorts", and for some people it's just even harder than it was for you

@Hat65 26 күн бұрын

@@Donkle365It’s a choice, period.

@sheldonpeters1429 26 күн бұрын

@Hat65 No it's not. That's an extremely ignorant comment. We have plenty of literature on binge eating, obesity, genetics, hormones, psychological and physiological factors that impact weight and for many, it is not a choice. Get educated, idiot.

@Donkle365 26 күн бұрын

@@Hat65 Well not all choices are equal so "it's a choice" is a vacuous claim

@serban2139 19 күн бұрын

@@Hat65it's a choice as much as yours to stay ignorant..

@AndyPresto75 21 күн бұрын

One of your very best, Ben, although I can't remember any videos from you that weren't high-quality.

@ch.k4580 26 күн бұрын

Thanks Ben! So amazing to see! You are the Best! Thanks for being here!

@lroc6272 26 күн бұрын

Thanks Ben

@BenCarpenter 26 күн бұрын

My pleasure 🙂

@kapsig10 25 күн бұрын

Love ❤️ this video. I can knock out a 3 hour heavy duty, 1500c burn 🔥 workout likes it’s nothing. But whether I’m training, traveling, vacationing, or sick 🤒 I’m constantly craving food 🥘. Such an awesome video

@spectrezero6834 26 күн бұрын

Thank you for this. This explains my entire life of struggling with my weight. When I was young I used to be rail thin and then it was like some switch flipped in me at about 11 and never shut off.

@catherinelefebvre3139 26 күн бұрын

Thank you for being authentic

@MWSCologne 26 күн бұрын

Great perspective

@nicktheodorou3474 26 күн бұрын

Great video. This is very true as per the data you present. Now the question that still always drives my curiosity is,what is the root cause on the rate of obesity and I don’t think this is the reason and we may not have the data to know at this point. For myself the only thing that makes maintaining my weight bearable is OMAD of high volume low calorie foods.

@Jean-uw7uk 26 күн бұрын

Thanks. ❤

@Pipboy2010 26 күн бұрын

I used to have bed and it felt impossible to loose weight. After I went to a psychiatrist and got rid of it weight loss suddenly became very easy and I have to pay attention to actually eat enough. So I feel like I've seen both sides and totally agree that a lot of thin peoples advice is fucking worthless because they actually playing on easy mode.

@Frank_Jones314 26 күн бұрын

Excellent video, especially the revelation at 1:40. I've never experienced what you went through (briefly) to cut for that photo shoot and what you sister experiences all the time. I understand that some people do have appetite signaling misaligned with their caloric needs, and how rough that makes trying to maintain a healthy weight or diet down to a healthy weight. Has there been much progress in figuring out why this is the case? Usually I would say genetics, but you (and at least one other person commenting) have a sibling on the opposite end of the spectrum.

@Bob-fk8vd 26 күн бұрын

I never ate a lot, but I did eat the wrong food and ate after I got off work at midnight. I weighed 350 pounds and tried every diet. If I lost weight I would gain it back plus more. I went keto. It was so easy and lost weight. I then went carnivore and have now lost 125 pounds in less than a year. With carnivore I am never hungry and feel 1000 percent better. The only hard part for me is I don’t really like meet. I also know this is not a diet, but a lifestyle change. I don’t miss the soda or bread that I loved. I do allow myself to cheat on special occasion, but then go back to eating healthy. If you have trouble regulating your weight, carbs are bad for you. I know because I loved carbs. Going keto and then carnivore erased my cravings for carbs and sugar. No other diet has done that, plus carnivore has so many health benefits. I have learned that you can’t diet, but you can make a lifestyle change for the better.

@Hat65 26 күн бұрын

That’s good that works for you, but how long have you been doing carnivore? I did low carb for a couple years and the craving for sweets etc. went away as you described until they didn’t. What I mean is that a restricted diet/lifestyle is not going to work forever. That’s why people do cheat meals simply because the diet/lifestyle is too restrictive. I’m not in any way knocking the diet/lifestyle you choose.

@Hat65 26 күн бұрын

There are plenty of people who are thin and healthy who eat carbs lol.

@00HoODBoy 26 күн бұрын

Youre a solid guy

@azulsimmons1040 26 күн бұрын

My brother is like you. I am more like your sister. I know this feeling of hunger all the time even after you eat what others consider a healthy amount. Not sure why it occurs in some humans, but it sure is a pain to deal with.

@watsonkushmaster3067 13 күн бұрын

Damn

@andianderson3017 26 күн бұрын

I’ve struggled with weight all my life. I was also valedictorian if my HS, top of class in college. I was also in every club known to man, had a job, played THREE instruments, super religious, waited to have sex until marriage and have never had a drink of alcohol. People have known all of that about me and STILL looked at my weight and thought: lazy, no will power, dumb, unaware, undisciplined. This is a real thing. Fighting an out of whack appetite is insanely hard and a life’s worth of fighting to figure out how to keep it remotely managed. People don’t even realize how illogical their being to judge people the way they do. The stigma is that bad.

@JemyM 26 күн бұрын

No one choose to become obese. It's an appetite dysfunction, not something you can merely decide to do (or not do). Most "cures" for obesity directly suppress the appetite, which will lead to weight loss over time. For me learning I could fast every other day and then eat every 1-3 hours became a way for me to go from 290 to 180 pounds. It was a strategy to deal with Binge Eating Disorder by using the appetite suppressing effect of ketosis, complete abstinence, followed by non-stop eating of small meals. Had I learned about this strategy in the 90's my life would have been different.

@richardm2661 26 күн бұрын

I think you’re dead right, and good on your sister. Unfortunately the “fitness community” is often short sighted with the subject.

@Enoch-Root 26 күн бұрын

Feeling hungry more often than the usual person seems much more likely to be a cause of weight problems than all the claims people give. A diet based around foods with a high satiety value would probably help I imagine. If I was just eating bread, rice, sweet foods, etc it'd be incredibly easy to consume an excessive amount of calories. Unfortunately supermarkets these days are filled with convenient tasty high calorie foods that don't satiate hunger.

@Hat65 26 күн бұрын

Well said. Another thing that really helps with hunger is to just drink ice water. It definitely helps me to stay full and hydrated. I think people eat when they’re not necessarily hungry just bored.

@FeniksGaming 25 күн бұрын

Some people are just always hungry. I can go to all you can eat buffet stuff myself to the point that it is uncomfortable to walk and I am still hungry.

@Hat65 23 күн бұрын

@@FeniksGamingNo offense, but that’s not normal.

@FeniksGaming 23 күн бұрын

@Hat65 agreed hence why is harder for some to lose weight than others.

@Enoch-Root 23 күн бұрын

@@FeniksGaming Ben has said that I'm militant in my thinking when it comes to weight loss. This kind of thing is exactly why. You need to tell yourself that losing weight is going to be hard, damn hard, no one said it'd be easy, and for you it's going to be much harder. Embrace that fact. If you expect weight loss to be easy you're going to fail. And even if you accept it's going to be a constant struggle, every day, every hour, you're still going to have times you fail. But failure is only complete when you quit. Life has suffering regardless. You can either choose to suffer via diet and exercise and reap the benefits later in life. Or you can choose the easy road of comfort and convenience now, but don't fool yourself, you're going to suffer for it later in life. There's no escape.

@StrongBodyandMind33 15 күн бұрын

It’s easy to lose weight. Stop eating. Put the fork down

@Hat65 26 күн бұрын

So what happened? I mean I grew up in the 80’s and there were VERY few fat people. It seems like people are just getting bigger and bigger as our cars and everything are too.

@TeianDown 26 күн бұрын

At least in the USA, some pretty easy things to overlook would be a reduction in smoking (which can reduce appetite at the cost of its myriad negative effects) and customer-facing soda fountains at fast food places becoming the standard. It's more convenient to refill another 200 empty calories yourself than have to wait in line to ask the cashier for a refill, and even into the 90's, some restaurants would even charge by the drink. You can probably blame sprawl (longer commute times, less friendly infrastructure for pedestrians and bikers) and a shift away from active jobs over this timeframe as well.

@Hat65 26 күн бұрын

@@TeianDownI completely agree, but it still comes down to personal responsibility. I mean, I’m not a huge fan of fast food restaurants, but I don’t think a person can blame society or anything other than themselves for making bad choices. I hope that makes sense and I’m not at all trying to argue.

@Hat65 26 күн бұрын

@@TeianDownIf a recovering alcoholic has been sober for 5 months and someone offers them a drink, it’s not the person who offered the drink who is wrong. The alcoholic still needs to make the better choice, correct?

@emmobrien 26 күн бұрын

@@Hat65 Kinda? If that person knew they were offering a drink to a recovering alcoholic, that's kind of a dick move. You're right, it is ultimately down to making the choice to make the change. It might be incredibly difficult, but the only way it's going to happen is if you dig in and get it done. That said, it's not really helpful to frame it that way. You can tell a heroin addict that they just need to stop doing heroin and it's their personal responsibility to do so. True, and ultimately that's what needs to happen, but "just do it" is incredibly unhelpful advice. Understanding the mechanisms of addiction (mentally and physically) and developing strategies to deal with the problem is a lot more helpful. I think you can (to some extent) continue the analogy to explain your initial question: why so many more obese people now? Well I'd posit that it sure wouldn't be too helpful for people struggling with heroin addiction to have their substance of choice widely available and repeatedly advertised to them wherever they go.

@Hat65 26 күн бұрын

@@emmobrienThank you.