Thanks for posting this. I wrote this for 2 reasons. So people who have been touched by suicide, either themselves or someone they knew, would know that in one of the most isolating states a person can be in, they aren’t alone. Also for those who haven’t been and have a hard time understanding, hopefully being able to convey in a very straightforward and visceral way, the reality of the things so many people face so that empathy and hope can be found, and support given. There’s a lot of strong emotions shared in the comments and that’s the goal. The reaction of a listener is for them, so good or bad I hope that anyone who hears this starts a dialogue with themself or someone else that leads to growth.

Thank you for once again featuring a performance from an OurVinyl Session. From song to song, Evan's session is one of the most powerful, emotional, and raw that we've ever captured. The stories and conversations his lyrics have brought to light have been intense and moving to say the least. It's awesome to see more people every day discovering his music. Thanks for being a part of that.

I had the good fortune of growing up with Evan Bartels… he’s a wonderful man, a beautiful mind, and a great friend.

You’re like the rare bartender that sits down a perfect drink before you even know what you want to order. Every time I visit your channel I’m adding music to my library 👍 I’ve always been accused of listening to dark songs and I’ve had the same response for over 40yrs, “ it’s not dark, you’re just closing your eyes to the fire”

The line “you ain’t cried like that since you come out your mother” SCREAMS rebirth to me. Another chance.

I remember a quote about writing, which also fits for songwriting: "Writing is easy; you just sit in front of a typewriter, and open a vein."

I am sitting here with tears streaming and an agony in my heart..I have loaded my shotgun earlier in my life and it was hearing blues that stopped me..this has motivated me to put down electric and pick up my acoustic,pen and paper again..a million thanks❤️

Michael… quite possibly your most powerful video to date. Thank you

With that voice he could sing Happy Birthday and make you cry!

Holy SHIT that shook me! It wasn’t the least bit contrived or forced! That was his therapy! Goddamn! Chills! Bravo!!!!!!! That reminded me of Isbell in some ways!

Pointing out the quiet desperation line from Floyd hit me hard as a teenager. I've been playing guitar and writing my own music for 25 years now. I play alone or with my brother nearly every night at the end of a hard day. I've never had the ambition or desire to perform for people. I never got comfortable with it. I realized early on why, and it somehow fits into your insights on all of this. I play for myself I guess, and when I'm really tuned in the music just appears. It's like I discovered it or its somehow given to me, rather than me consciously creating it. I'm glad I found this video. You're a rare one my friend.

I had chills throughout. And I think that's the best way to describe it. It is a chilling, hauntingly beautiful song. It cries out with so much internal pain. So rawly open. And that is so powerful.

The music I’ve heard come through this channel ….Fn amazing.

Wow. I was not expecting this. The sadness, the pain, the tragedy are dripping off every note, every word. Simply brilliant. You know there is something special there when Michael puts down his guitar and takes it in. 'Powerful' is an understatement.

My God man I needed this today. Glad I'm not alone in this dark place. One love 💜🙏

My words have now abandoned me...as a survivor of suicide (my son), this hurts, its hits hard. Sounds like my son's last Facebook post on that fateful day, and i might guess Evan has lost a loved one too, and this song is part of his grieving process. But i dont know.

This hit me hard. The truth and vulnerability of turning something so raw and soul crushing into art is beautiful beyond words.

Wow. Thanks for sharing this both of you!

I was in tears halfway through the song. I lost a close friend a number of years ago, I still think about her and I probably always will. You said it Michael, man what a song, what a song.

Great video all round. Thank you!

Thank you. This is amazing.

I've listened to this song a bunch of times and all I could do was be silent while I listen. Seeing how you were affected by it finally broke the dam in me. I just realized how it's easier to let go of things when you see other people share the same emotion you carry heavily inside... Also, I just noticed the words SILENT and LISTEN share the same letters.

Wow this song is, it is.. just wow... I can tell when a song is speaking to you by your expression while listening and if all us fan's took a picture while watching,we all have the same expression and I can't thank you enough for sharing this with us! I have things in my past this song touched

MY GOD That just hit me dead in the feels . My heart is already destroyed and that just filled the jar to the brim .

I feel like he described a state of mind that I have been in before so perfectly. That's something that I was never able to do for myself. This song is absolutely incredible.

When he imitates the pump action on the guitar instead of saying the word. Sheeesh. I needed this.

Thanks Michael, i needed this today. I have little inspiration to play music anymore and have lost most of my friends in the last 10 years from breakups. Some days the only reason I'm still here is because i don't want my parents to be sad.

Jesus…. I needed this so bad. I’ve got to get these songs out. Thanks Michael

"Only thing holding back the great hereafter, is bad primers, with good timing"😱 Man what a song!

Thanks for sharing this Michael. At first I hesitated due to the subject matter ( I make a point not to glorify death/suicide) but everything about this song just shook me to my core and I couldn't imagine not sharing it. Keep on doing what you do brother.

That was absolutely amazing… unbelievable how a song can have such a deep meaning and drive the point so hard and accurately. I probably would have never found this song and for that, thank you 🙏

Oh my gosh Michael I have been trying so hard to get people to react to Evan for months upon months now. I’ve even suggested him here in your comments before and now FINALLY somebody has done it !!! I’ve been obsessed with this guy’s voice and song writing. I literally listen to him multiple times a week, along with Morgan Wade, because they sing with such rawness and true emotions. Thank you !! Thank you !!! Also I sent the link to this video to Evan on Facebook so he can see people are appreciating his music. 👊🏻

Michael, to see you react physically to this song validates how I react to some songs. The one thing that drives me to artists is "soul." The soul in this song makes us all feel like the protagonist, we are all living a few seconds of this song's journey. This is why I watch your channel. You recognize the soul and you point it out. Thanks.

Tears and poignancy all the way through for me on this one. Great song! Vocal delivery is out of this world.

My life has been touched by people who have taken their life and wanted to take their life. I'll never know how they felt, but you and this song gave me a good glimpse. Thank you

I saw Evan a few years ago at a venue I was working at. He was song swapping with another guy and everytime Evan sang I stopped working and just stared with the exact same expression on my face. The dude is legit

Michael Palmisano, I have watched lots of your videos of which are all excellent. I always come away from them wanting to be a better person. Thanks for being a positive influence. Love the “take always” from your lessons learned and personal meanings that you find in songs. Keep the videos coming. You have a great heart and have a true talent my friend.

Damn is all I can say, Evan sings the truth of where the pain comes from, extremely heavy song with amazing vocals and lyrics. My favorite quote about music "Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything". - Plato ✌️

Wow! Love to see artists revealing their soul! I haven't played in 16years so last year I bought a bunch of equipment because I finally got the Carpal Tunnel surgery and the song needs to come out still! Having a hard time learning FL Studio my son gave me. Thanks for giving this a play!

Thanks for sharing. That was cool.

Not to mention he quotes Jesus on the cross after the silent desperation line. "My God my God, why have you forsaken me?" Eli Eli lema sabachthani?

Love love love it, thank you for turning me on to so much great music.

Michael.. want to same your awesome. Found your channel and just been binge watching your videos. Your teaching me so much. Fantastic communicator brother

Thank You for this! First time hearing this song; grabbed my soul and crushed it… powerful

At 11:45, "The only thing holding back the great hereafter... is bad primers with good timing." For anyone who doesn't know, a primer is what sets off the charge in a cartridge/shotgun shell.... The shell was a dud. So, even though the song is dark, to me this line seems to sound like he avoided going through with it... it brings hope back into it. But just after that, at 12:04, I think the guitar is intended to sound like a shotgun racking and firing (and in fact he replaces the word "shotgun" with the whole effect). So maybe the hope isn't there after all? Great instrumentation and an amazing voice though. Tough topic.

Ok im back. I wanna say something about this song, as someone who has suffered depression and a breakdown. This is a very accurate depiction of anguish, pain that is unrelenting and pervasive. Its true ppl who feel this lie, because other's words or pity dont help. The crescendo of the song is true the words display the absence of hope, he doesnt want to do it - its a desperate attempt to escape to something different. yet notice he ruminates on the idea of loading the shotgun... BUT! At the end of the song, he hasnt done it yet. He might not feel hope, but up untill the last moment the song ends with hope that someone CAN enter the story and stop him going through with it. You may feel like there is no hope of a reprieve from anguish, but the singer leaves the possibility open for someone to come into his story to rescue him, my hope is that if your feeling like this you leave the end open as well. Dont end your story, but live to sing your song.

Been a fan for a long time of Evan Bartels, he’s legit probably my favorite song writer and singer.. every song is deep. It gives you chills.

I love it when music/art moves people. You where clearly moved. It was inspiring to watch your reaction thank you!

Thank you, Evan, for such a GREAT song. I have a friend dealing with this issue. I love her. And I wish I could help her somehow in those darkest moments. This song just resonates. And Michael, brother, thanks so much for promoting this GREAT song.

Once again, I appreciate how dedicated you are to sharing the incredible work of these lesser known, modern musicians that are amazing and deserve more recognition. Few other of the youtube music teachers (for lack of a better term) are committing to this like you. When I hear other youtubers make comments like "today's music is terrible" it makes me sad because I feel like they are overlooking musicians like this guy. Thanks again!

It was indeed Henry David Thoreau. Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. I’ve read somewhere the most dangerous time for suicide in people suffering from deep depression is when they begin to feel a slight increase in mood. When they are completely bedridden, unable to function at all, they are badly suffering. Too suffering to do anything. But as they start to feel the slight improvement that allows them to get up, they are then capable of finding the means to end their suffering. Anyone in a bad way, please reach out. To anyone.

Wow. No words. Thank you for introducing me to this amazing artist.

First: that song is out of this world! One of the heaviest, truest pieces of art I’ve ever heard. But you already put it perfectly. Second though: thank you so much Michael that you created this platform on which I can find such gems that would have passed me without you. I’ve been watching your videos for a long time now and will keep on doing so. Thank you, man!!

Love ya Michael thanks for the great content

Music is so powerful! Michael I am so impressed that you just don't review a song but you LISTEN to the song, that means so much.

Thank you Michael. Simply amazing.

You NAILED this! Evan is a brilliant singer songwriter!! Been telling anyone and everyone who will listen to check out his music for several years now!! Thank you for featuring him on ur channel! He is simply amazing at what he does!

Powerful song! I just watched the music video again and most of the comments were people saying they were here because of you! I struggle with mental illness so thank you for this.

Haunting.. Beautiful

Well done !! Best wishes from New Zealand.

Finally a human listining to other human's words... Thank You both so much for this amazing moment in time! I've been watching too many videos about composing or breaking down the music / vocal skills. Those were just sounds. But only honest words carried by honest emotions can give them true meaning...

Holy cow!!! Chills from head to toe!!!

Desperation is the mother of true art. To me, all the best music comes out of desperation like this one. Real and from heart to heart, no escape. Thanks for doing this one!

Hey man. Canadian fan living in Vietnam. Massive fan of the channel and the love for music you bring to the table.

Man....this is the one I'm glad you shared. This guy is amazing. I've been listening to all of his stuff since you posted this. He's an unbelievable writer. And possibly one of the best I've ever heard in my life. No joke. Dive deeper into his stuff...I'm sure you have already. But if not....do it. He's incredible.

I agree with you Michael- That was awsome!

Holy mother, this hit me hard. What a load of emotions! I literally can feel all of his emotions brought into the song. Thanks for bringing this masterpieces of music to us Michael!

3rd video I've watched on your channel...Powerful stuff. How have I not heard of these guys? Keep up the great work!

Another great reaction lesson and this level of feeling is why you are the man :). I wish that folks knew how much of what they feel is not theirs to carry. At least 50% of EVERYTHING we think and feel is not ours to carry. People like this fella, and you and many of us are in the 80% or higher. First question you have to ask when you feel like this is, “how much of this is mine?”…. You can pick it up from anywhere but the most common are family, friends, ancestors, the collective human energy. We don’t have to suffer… Alan

Michael, I love how you connect to the soul of the songs that you feature on your channel. I have always been the guy that gets goosebumps from songs and i listen to the same song countless times and I still get the same feeling. I suspect you are the same. Some songs are straight from the soul and you never fail to recognize them. Your channel is just great. NEVER stop showcasing artists and art that is real.

Wow. Never heard of him. Some days are better than others. Love great music

Wow. What a song. Not often you hear how you think and feel reflected in other people's songs. Can't stop listening to it now.

thank you for this tonight. this is my life everyday and I try everyday just to wake up. thank you

This has such a deep and moving sentiment. His vocal delivery reminds me of Jeff Buckley. Tremendous content Michael. Thanks for another gem.

Two Years later and he just got off tour with another one of your favorites, Paul Cauthen. Crazy what a couple of years can do...

Thanks Michael. I needed this in more ways than you know.

This really hit home 😪

This man and this beautiful song are truly stunningly breathtaking...

Thought I would post the lyrics for those that are interested... If I'm being honest I'm gonna lie to you When you ask me how I'm doing Ill use all the words we both know You want me to If I'm being honest I've been thinking about the day Where I don't feel anything at all I don't fear anything at all I'mma gonna go gonna load my shotgun Point that barrel right where it hurts Ain't no telling where ill go after Might not be better but it can't get worse I cried out In siren desperation I cried out I called your name My god my god Why have you forsaken me? I cried out, when my words have now abandoned me I'm gonna go gonna load my shotgun Point that barrel right where it hurts Ain't no telling where ill go after Might not be better but it can't get worse And I could tell u but U can't imagine That first breathe from the edge of deaths chasm You ain't cried like that since you come out your mother Omens ain't holding back the great here after????? Its bad primings, its good timing I'm gonna go gonna load my shotgun Point that barrel right where it hurts Ain't no telling where ill go after Might not be better but it can't get worse

Art is about connection. That's why we sing. To connect with others, to feel less alone. To share the stories that make us HUMAN, even when those stories are sad. Mike, you hooked me with your reactions to the dead. I'm no guitarist (I have small, undextrous hands with a gimpy left pinky) -- I'm a vocalist/soloist at best, but your videos, and seeing how music *transports* you -- it does to me, too, it helps me FEEL and put words on my feelings. Watching your reactions makes me feel less alone. Thank you.;

Brilliant terrifying much love xxx

He’s originally from a tiny little town in Nebraska. He’s an absolute wordsmith and emotional story teller.

I discovered Evan Bartels a few months ago and he has some really good stuff! He sings with such conviction!

I loved this song and your exploration of the theme. One observation/connection and a personal witness. 1. Your comment about the words become a man in me remind me of Rush's 2112. From the Soliloquy... I wish that it might come to pass Not fade like all my dreams Just think of what my life might be In a world like I have seen I don’t think I can carry on This cold and empty life My spirits are low, in the depths of despair My lifeblood Spills over…. Personal witness. I'm a 2nd career pastor who entered seminary at 37. While in seminary I recieved a call from my best friend that his youngest brother, who was in his 20's had committed suicide. He had a ton of health issues and cancers from birth and the family believed he got another diagnosis that he just couldn't deal with. He asked if I would officiate the funeral. Luckily I was in in my advanced pastoral care class and an advanced preaching class and had just gone over weddings and funerals. I spoke with both professors about how I should handle this. This was a young man that I had known since birth. The pastoral care professor said something profound to me that I think connects to this song and your observation. 'You need to tell the little David, the 10 or 12 year old David to step aside for a short while, but promise him that once your Duty as the pastor is complete, you'll care for him and let him grieve. If you don't take care of him, it will come out later in very unhealthy ways and habits.' Even as adults, we still have that little boy or girl that learned certain things about life, about love, about hurt, about what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like and sometimes those are not congruent with who we would like to be or have become. Sometimes our unresolved little... cause to act in ways that are not in alignment with who we were created to be and many times it's that disconnect that leads to subject of this song.

Hi Michael! Pardon my English - I am not a native speaker; I'll do my best to express my thoughts. I've always believed that the core of everything we do is the intention. "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." KZfaq is flooded with all kinds of 'XYZ coach reacts to ABC topic' videos. Many of them are soaked with a fairly unobtrusive scavenging approach. Yours are so different. I have already watched a dozen or so and they all are full of myriads of your efforts to dig out some nugget, find a pearl, draw audience's attention to something hidden in the song, harmony, performance, expression, co-laboration between band members and art itself. I almost feel your perseverance to excavate those treasures and share them with your watchers. Pardon me if it sounds corny or mawkish but Mate, your intentions are obviously so full of love here! Please accept my appreciation and gratitude. You have already made my few days brighter, tastier and heartfelt. Please don't ever stop. Bless you!

Pure emotion.

The Pass by Rush helped me through some rough times as a teenager, I was never suicidal but the message that you walk the razor’s edge at times really resonated. It didn’t give some bullshit narrative that things were going to be great or even better but just walk the razor’s edge and keep living.

I recall watching this same performance and thinking the same thing!

hard to watch but so glad i did. thank you for sharing this.

Don’t play guitar though I wish I did but I’ve always loved music and fully recognize how it has the power to touch us in so many different ways. I very much appreciated you sharing some personal information and baring part of your soul. Thanks for being human (vulnerable) this one prompted me to hit the subscribe button. 👍

You are BEAUTIFUL !! You are IMPORTANT. You are LOVED. I LOVE YOU❤️🎸🪕

Don't think I've ever clicked a video so quickly before! Evan was my request back on the Tuesday Live, and I'm thrilled to see his music resonated with people as much as it does for me! Michael, as always thanks for all you do! Can't wait to see your thoughts on this track.

Howdy Michael! Excited to watch this video

This song/performance was another level of deep... One we just don't get enough of today.

First Travis Meadows. Now this. You have shown me some seriously heavy, yet important music. Thanks. A lot.

Great share. This fella is legit.

Wow what an incredible song

seems i missed this one when you released it. just had it pop up today. holy f#ck. the song, the presentation, the story, is heart wrenching. Your analysis.. your addendum to the story is well appreciated. this is a must watch.

Yes love Evan Bartel for years now. Love his music, please do more reactions to him, especially “lonesome”

Talk about intense! Wow.