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I have the opposite issue, my boss thinks I don't respect him and I treat him like the cleaning lady...but I respect the cleaning lady, not sure what he means...he expects submissivness and I expect equality. He sees me as challenging his authority. I see him as a tyrant who wants people to follow him blindly. Not sure how this can be fixed. Currently we are ignoring each other

My boss recently came to me, said I wasn't acting my usual self and asked if anything was up. I had tried to approach her in the past regarding certain workplace issues, but she appeared dismissive. So I gave up and began looking for work elsewhere. I felt I had nothing to lose at this point, and was honest with her, saying I didn't think the job was for me, and I felt like leaving. She pulled me into a conference room and we had a frank but respectful discussion. We agreed to meet the following week while she spoke to some higher ups and HR about the situation. Come Monday morning, she called me into the conference room and slid a paper across the table. I figured I was terminated, but was surprised to see it was an offer for a substantial raise. I am learning to become more assertive, which is a struggle because I'm naturally passive. Ironically, calmly and logically explaining how dissatisfied I was made them respect me more. Thank you for your videos. They are so helpful. 👍

The day my boss respects me is the day I know my character has fallen to her level. She is a dreadful, cruel, competitive, and insecure woman, and a textbook narcissist. She's known to throw tantrums in the workplace and treat everyone like garbage. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm counting down the days when I can get out of there. Any advice in the meantime for those who go far beyond rude or passive-aggressive?

Thanks for making this video. You are one of the few career coaches on youtube that support being assertive when dealing with coworkers & managers.

Asking for help is something i struggle with every second of the day. Thank you for bringing light to this ❤

You are an amazing communicator!! I’m blown away by your savvy technique!😍

This is awesome thank you! I just love how they try to make it look like a mistake calling you a different name. Great way of handling that.

Thank you for your message Dan I needed this dealing with a narcissistic boss too .

I love your professionalism ❤❤❤❤

I needed this like you have no idea! Many thanks. You're legendary!

This channel is PURE GOLD

The way you tell a story and the way that you speak, and do it with humor and in a basic way, helps it stick in my brain better. Thank you for this I am absorbing this information and I really needed exactly this one thank you

Thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight it's always helpful...you're awesome

As always .. Thanks Dan 💚

You're awesome, Dan!

This video is very useful to me because it shows a way to be angry that actually delivers the essential message. I have been looking into communication to improve myself, but it always seemed to suppose that it goes alright or at least that it never gets to a dead end. Though frustrating cases do happen and just the fact the they are possible can hinder my motivation as I don't know how to handle them. Even though it may be theoretical it is good to know how you can react to them.

Thank you Dan!! Great video!!! God bless you!! 🙏💖

Thank you for making this video this helps me so much!!!

Hello Daniel, I have been enjoying your videos. I have been using your tips to deal with people in my life.

Your tips are so helpful and you crack me up too. You make my day!

Thank you so much!! This will be so very helpful for me especially right now at this time.

Wow. This one blew me away; you are gold!

Dan is SO wise!

When he said: " But sometimes..... you Have to overturn the tables in the temple." Then the world's explode revealing his serious gaze back at the camera. That one moment was priceless, made me TRULY laugh

I love watching your videos while I get ready for work, these inspire me to improve my communication skills! Thank you

The background is bothering my eyes lol the pattern looks like it’s moving .. i love ur content

Thank you very much for this video, it change everything. It's work s out for me.

Excellent communication skills Sir. You are great.👍

Thanks!

Ok I tried some of this today. It was hard but I actually let my feelings support my communication. I told her how I felt. “Your email really hurt me and is preventing me progress in the organization. “ she had a hard time and said she needed to get back to me. I hope it goes well. I feel good and strong and confident. This is my soul speaking.

Thanks so much!!!🦋🦋🦋

these are so so helpful!!

I've done it with a co worker ... it actually work... but now that I've seen your video I'll do it conciously

Thank you 🎉

Lol! I found you 5 days ago. This is my favorite video so far. Lol

Fair is an annual event in some states featuring farm animals....one of my moms sayings....

Damn, that was such a powerful & masterful delivery. Great video.

Thank you

Dan, wishing you a speedy recovery.

This video was very helpful. Thanks again. I'll have to keep watching your vids.

Brilliant. Elegant. Empowering, Full of integrity. Thank you! I especially appreciate your underlying thread of loving expression. I hope you are with people who love you, too ^u^

Love this

You’re amazing!!!! Glad I found you!!!!!😢😂😮😊😊🎉🎉❤

BEST, REAL Advice for the workplace that I've ever learned! I only wish I could be that straight forward AND assertive tho... especially w/ The Boss! But thank you for this! Hopefully in time, I'll learn to mix a mild amount of assertiveness into my constant people-pleasing manner (aka, constant sugar coating)!!🤞🏻🤞🏻 P.S. Such a delight to find your channel 💝☺️💝

That is sooo funny! I've once hada boss that kept calling me by my official name instead of the one on my name tag! Lol! It was on purpose and I was too timid to correct her. Listen to Dan! I regret not standing up to her. Thanks Dan!

Oh my gosh.. your just amazing!!!!!!😮😮😮😅😅😊😊😊😊😊😊

I can’t imagine myself taking a walk with my boss 😅, you have taught me so much, I have become a better communicator and I am pleasantly surprised 🥳 thank you for your videos I have even shared with my friends because they are essential

#Truth.Be.Told.

I think I love you lol. And I'm pretty sure you'll never see this comment anyway, but I had a major issue with my boss last week, and I'm expecting a show down in front of my colleagues tomorrow as is her habit to embarrass me. I am TAKING NOTES. I already feel less anxious. Thank you so much for your videos. Love, from your new favorite fan !!!!

I love this channel but does anyone have a boss that has the time to walk around the block with them?! Saying stuff like "I expect more from you" is a bit condescending, hats off to people who go ahead and take this approach tho!

At first I was like no way would I say that to my boss but I get it in context it totally works!

What do you do if you politely stand up for yourself to a passive aggressive boss, and tell her how you feel about a certain situation, but she then turns it around on you and plays the victim? I politely stood up for myself because she acted out of line and was very disrespectful to me, and in turn she got offended and said, "No one speaks to me that way!" I was very polite and said phrases like, "I feel like", and was in no way disrespectful to her. Yet, she got very defensive. She also at times will say one thing one day, and then redact that statement a few days later. Can't ever stick to one plan, and is constantly changing things from one day to the next. It's very frustrating. I want to have a good relationship with her, but when she gets in these passive aggressive, high all mighty moods it makes it very difficult to deal with. I also understand that she is in the authority to act high and all mighty since she is my boss, but at the same time she should respect her employees at all times, and they should be able to communicate their feelings or concerns without the backlash in return.

I wish I wish I had your Gift. Thanks so much :)

I’m smarter than I thought. I did this and used a lot of the language here before I even found this channel. My boss on the last hour of the last day of training went off on me because I worked for 4 days 3 years ago by a hired contractor in the same field. I answered her line of questioning, and she literally said, omg forget it, it like pulling teeth with you. Then circled around again picking off more information, and rewording her questions. I answered and she said It not ok, and said my name in such discuss that it could not be taken any other way but as upset. So that co tinted for 20 minutes in front of 5 other people in training class. I reported to my Temp Agency what happened. 2 days went by and the response was, oh she was just questioning something, it’s ok report to work on Monday @7:45. Um no it’s clearly not ok. I feel attacked, do you think I don’t know what an attack is?

love this videoo on the GGGGGsSpot!!!

re question of saying “woman to man/Man to woman”: How about “person to person”?

So true! I did just that last year at work. And I that is what I have told others, " Jesus flipped tables in the temple." And He is our example to follow. Sometimes we have to flip the tables for others to take us seriously.

Good day, Dan.

I've tried these with employees and it works but doesn't work for a boss or a supervisor. They think they are always right and they do no wrong. Even as a manager to manager they have taken it the wrong way.

My team are very focused on framing anything with positive words. But we notice that something can be fine when spoken, yet can seem presumptuous or passive aggressive if expressed via email. For example, when speaking: "Would you mind helping me with ...?" The collaborative answer is "no", implying "I don't mind - but it seems counter-intuitive to say "no" when agreeing to do engage in something. INSTEAD we ask simply, "Would you help me with ...?" to which one can answer, "Yes" - and this feels like a better response that moves both parties forward. However, in writing, the simpler version seems too abrupt. Do you have any videos/tips on adapting best phrases depending on the delivery format (spoken vs. written)? Or, perhaps there's a different way altogether of posing such a question. Thanks, Dan. 🙏

I have a question that I’m sure many others have. My supervisor has been singling me out for a year because I called her out on behavior that was directly lowering my teams performance and upsetting everybody. What this supervisor will do is make sure she didn’t do anything wrong, but rather one of the team members will have the blame on them. Usually, this is a result of there being some kind of invisible rule that she hasn’t told one or all of us. What can I do to maintain my image to everyone else or get her to stop doing this?

Brilliant Dan! Dont choose the roof top to talk though,it be awful if an accident happened 🤣

OMG TRIXIE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Awesome advice

Love this video 🎉 As a man raised by a narcissistic father and in a feminist culture who constantly bombards men to be passive and harmless and submissive, I find your content incredibly helpful. Thank you! 🎉🎉

Great advice, but it Wouldnt work with my boss, unfortunately.

Very interesting. I started a job last month and my manager has changed my name from Ruth to Lucy! At first I was kinda like “I don’t care” (the reason for the name change being I teach foreign kids who might find it hard to pronounce Ruth), but it’s started to really piss me off, especially as she barks orders “Lucy! Do this/that”. So another manager, who may be her boss, haven’t figured out the hierarchy yet, has told me she doesn’t agree with it because the kids need to learn how to pronounce sounds that are hard for them, so going to have a chat with line manager about it this week and ask to be called my actual name! So this was very helpful 🙏

Very helpful and I can tell you enjoy turning the tables very much 😁 I would like you as my lawyer whenever I am in my people pleaser mode 😄

HI Dan hope your burns heal soon maybe some aloe Vera will quicken the wound or rx silver sulfadiazine cream

Mr. Dan, I've got a boss who is loud and serious at all times. He tilts his head back and looks down his nose at me when I have question. Is that a narcissist?

Dan… I work 100% remotely. My boss changed toward me after the higher ups complimented me. I’m going to try your ideas.

Will you offer any more training in the future? I just discovered you today. There were references to signing up but only for a limited time & I see nothing about it below. I am bummed about getting in late. Thank you.

After much abuse, I grew a backbone, looked at boss man direct in the eyes and told him to deal with me as a professional. He's backed off since.

God said, "let there be Dan"!

Is there any possibility to ignore someone trying to embrass you of others?

I’d just look behind me and say, “Mary?” “Who’s Mary?” LOL

My boss wants me to step up my goals and I asked to job shadow her position, (because i want to become a supervisor) its been 2 years and each year this is the reply" you can but its boring, send me the request again but if you dont want too, its okay" She is a bully and can be aggressive...what do i say!?

And when you’re well-seasoned you would say right there that you don’t go by that name. Then don’t answer to what is not your called name. “Why do you keep calling me Mary when I don’t go by that”

I wonder if this would play out well on the long run

It worked for my kids too , lol I swear

Dan I really want to do this however there is a language barrier. What should I do?

How about in a work place that is low paying I.e. hair salon they are unwilling or impossible to hear you or the moment you speak they talk loader with any words that make no sense in other word they don’t want to hear anything from you; also they know that the owner is short of stylish and they will not be fired

My boss when wanting to talk, always says not now or we’re not going to talk about that now. This manager seems like he’s not aware of his incompetence and have created skills to avoid explaining or avoid the whole issue. So what should I do or say that I demand to have a talk with you?! Why do upper management and do checks or ask staff that’s under this manager on how they’re doing?

i fear for those who try to be rude to you! You seem very socially adept, how did you learn all this, man?

I did. Now I don't have a job. I feel like a failure. I loved my job. Is it because I let them know they couldn't schedule us to be on call without pay? They said they have to let me go because I can't remember the processes while putting jewelry together. Yet I completed everything and the customers were happy.

Can you do a video on how to deal with a narcissistic boss?

I wouldn’t recommend using the word hostile at work. At the mention of that word in some workplaces policies are in place that immediately when a supervisor hears it he/she must report it. So unless you want to escalate things be aware of internal policies before using this word.

How do you handle an interrupter who just will not stop interrupting and does not allow you to speak at all?

How do you handle a situation wherein you're new (6 weeks), and your boss sends you an email on a Saturday letting you know they are planning to meet with you regarding information they received from "their sources" about conversations and situations that took place during her absence last week. And wants to talk about training, organizational structure, team dynamics and expectations, and ends it with, "I just wanted to give you a heads up". I was taken back! Background: the team doesn't follow written policy, the manager has spoken disparagly of at least 2 other staff members, and I come from a compliance background which is why I was asked to join the team. I'm now feeling like I have to abandon my work ethic and shrink back as if leadership makes decisions based on emotion rather what's in the best interest of the organization.

My Boss hasn't spoke to me or been into the office in almost 6 weeks. I keep him in the loop now via email but I find this completely passive aggressive behavior. Normally if/when he responds to me which is hours later its mostly something like ..Thx! . It is only him and I . I am basically on my own.

I am so grateful to be retired from the workplace. Thank GOD!

Dan. I work in an unprofessional environment have a foreman who includes the other team members in our arguments because she has them wrapped around her fake ass. I just usually don’t say anything most of the time and don’t make buddies as I just put my head down and work. Sometimes though I try to make a suggestion to my foreman and that’s when it blows up. I don’t know what to do in those situations when she is trying to get me to look like an idiot in front of her “support crew”. I have no support. My main boss tells me to just be neutral but he does not see it happening. Anyone else have any suggestions too?

What would you do when your boss burries you with a lot of work 4 times than other employees,you still shine though the set up, that same boss brushes off your concerns and unethical behaviour that you are enduring the impact and said focus on your role and do not bring other people behaviour.What would you do when you are singled out and your concerns and standing up for yourself getting you to be labelled by your boss as you are being argumentative and making negative comments that are not acceptable in the company Baring in mind I am a very high achiever,my boss wanted to break me, but I shined though the odds.

Person to person evens the playing field.

Wow

My boss dismisses every good thing I try to do that would improve work life. I type a form that's beneficial to customers, she shreds it when I'm gone. And talks about EVERYONE behind their backs. I'm not a threat because God knows I love 3rd shift and I don't want to be a GM!

💯🔥🔥🔥👊🏾

An awesome firing? Such a statement is heavily based on perception. I am a subscriber and admire your rhetoric. This lecture was a bit aggressive, especially regarding a topic of a preferred name. Too many aspects I would like for you to reconsider. A loving method of communication would, at this time of pandemic, reassure your dependents not to loose your job because a difficult admin referencing you by a secondary name of personal choice.

WOW Dan,,, I am listening to your videos for the first time and I have to say (pregnant blink) I love it (regular wink) ;P :) I have in an hour a to be unpleasant meeting with two of my bosses - one wasn't enough to beat me ;P I'll try to use some of your tips. I do find that my communication philosophy matches a lot what are you talking about. Lots to learn,,, Always,,, Ta

Dan, I find some of your lead in statements as "over used" and trigger more eye rolls and listening shutdowns. Are there better lines that are not so "clinical"? I find I am more willing to listen when I know a persons words are their own and not repeating what someone told them to say. Thoughts?