‘With the cow you eat everything but the moo and with the pig you eat everything but the oink’ is a very traditional saying passed down in African American families in the South. Every Creole family has a story of at least one relative who passed for white. It simply was not safe for her to disclose her true heritage.

I don't know how I came across this channel but I think your story is fascinating! Ironically, I live in Bastrop and I know a Desadier here (different spelling tho, coincidence?) My own heritage has been questioned but because of racism and fear, my family's history is buried deep. At funerals, I've heard whispers like "That's your uncle on the 'white' side." And "You look just Aunt (So &So) on the 'Indian' side of the family." It's known that in a particular town that was also mentioned in your videos, there's the white side and the side of color...same name. Living in the same place but it's not talked about. It's a normal thing to see them at a funeral if someone passes. I've been told that my great grandmother, who was Blackfoot Indian and married a very light mulatto who looked like Cary Grant back in the day lol, passed as African American because Indians were MORE discriminated against than blacks. So our Native history and traditions are obsolete. I've literally only seen one picture of her because she didn't want to be photographed. I envy you being able to look into your heritage. Unfortunately, because of slavery I can never know one side of mine. And because of racism in America, I've lost the other half of my family's identity. Continued blessings on your journey. ❤️

My Grandmother (my Father's Mom) left the South, her husband and three children and lived in Buffalo, NY passing as a White woman. While she was in the South, she claimed her African American heritage. Once she separated from her family, she became White. She sure did look the part, too. It was quite confusing to me when I learned what she did. Then as I grew up and entered womanhood, I was told she left to get away from my physically abusive Grandfather. The question always remains: Why didn't she take her children with her? I know, the culture of the time ((1940s) was challenging. But I can't get around asking that question right up till the day she died (1996). The baffling things people do to save themselves.

irish people have spent 400 years complaining about the racism aimed at them by the english, but then they come to america and spread the same prejudice.

I would suggest that everyone do a real genetic test. U may be surprised what u find out. Most AA/Blacks will discover there is little or no Native ancestry. The look really comes from African and European ancestry mixed. The sum of it for me is that WE ARE ALL HUMANS ! I appreciate your journey and sharing it. ⭐️

I never knew I was poor until someone told me I was, because my mother made a way and made sure there was always something to eat and a warm place to sleep.

I'm so very sorry, Lola was treated poorly by her in-laws. I'm Irish, but I lived in CT for a year. I was ashamed to say I was Irish, as I found the first generation Irish were very racist. I couldn't believe a people so oppressed would treat others so poorly. Again I'm sorry Lola had such a hard life, from those who should have wanted to help. 😢😢😢

Wow! Great story. I saw the title because I know of a cousin who passed for white and moved to New York and married a white guy, back in the day. I never knew her, but her sisters talked about her. I hope you continue documenting your story. I think there's an urge in many of us to want to uncover and know more about ourselves, and thus, the threads unravel. Thanks for sharing your story, and I hope you will continue to share it.❤🙏🏽

She did what she had to do, making sure that her children would have a better chance at life. She scarified a lot. Admirable, strong woman. 💯💜

I am so thankful to my great grandparents and grandparents parents, both from Iberian peninsula, and later my grandparents settled in Puerto Rico...and they are a loving people, kind, generous even if they had little themselves, accepting of all peoples...we are a mixed family of many cultures. I am blessed beyond belief to have so many blends in our family. This happens today. Prejudices and hatred are taught in the home. What a sad pathetic world for those that are full of prejudices and hatred.

My Grandmother was born Osage in 1918 around Tulsa. They were so ashamed that we never knew we were Native. So so sad!! Maria Tallchief is my family tree ❤️

Going back to LA would have meant going back to her Black identity. Lola made a "Sophie's Choice". She played the long game and cemented her children's identity as white. We most certainly can't judge her because every mother wil do whatever it takes to provide for her children. Due to the atrocities of racism that permeated every aspect of life, the system in place at that time was such that even the poorest white person was a rung above the wealthiest Black or Creole. She used what she had - the ability to pass- and took the gamble.

One of my biggest regrets was not asking my grandparents about their childhoods. Unfortunately, my mother forbade me from asking due to the both of them having painful childhoods. My grandfather was supposed to oversee his brother and sister while his mother was at a neighbor's house doing laundry. He found his siblings drowned in a creek. My grandmother was an orphan by age 12. Before my grandmother died, my mother asked her mother about her father. She said he was the best father in the whole world and then broke down and cried.

im 59 aboriginal irish australian and my dad looked like a full blooded aboriginal my mum was fair with green eyes straight nose i was called a half caste by a bully in high school i said im not he said i saw your mum down town shes a white woman i didnt look at my mum like that she was my mum as i got older though i saw my mum growling at ppl at gas stations an fruit shops anywhere we would go with her now when i look back they were nice to her but when they saw us they changed there tune this was the 70s too i got bullied at school for the color of my skin i hated going to school my dad traced our lineage we have Afghanistan irish scottish hindu only a bit of aboriginal dad found out that mum biological grandmother was fully white back in the day they called it a "blacks camp " only aboriginal ppl lived there and grandma lived outside of it she wasnt allowed its amazing when dad tells storys about his mum an my mums side through research we are all a melting pot and should lovingly embrace it not be ashamed i think its awesome to be honest but this doc was xllent loved it her grandmother was georgous you can see were danielle romero gets her beauty from and God bless these ppl and their familys we are all Gods children amen 😊🖤❤🧡👵

Want to support this project so I can keep making more? Check out www.patreon.com/NYTN/about ! Want the rest of “Finding Lola”? Click a link to watch the other 3 episodes now! Episode 1: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ibegas2Ws9bDqZs.html Episode 3:kzfaq.info/get/bejne/mLKolLdzzanZj40.html Episode 4:kzfaq.info/get/bejne/jaqqaamY15nVnI0.html

I have a 2nd cousin that is an American Native that was adopted by my uncle. She is my favorite cousin to see and even visiting her. I know that she is not a blood relative.She is treated as a part of my family. Even my father was good friends with her. I remembered my first time in meeting her just before I turned 23 years old. I asked my mother if she is an American Native and she said yes. I even said cool after her response. I was glad to see her on my birthdays and even Thanksgiving,too. I just loved her as part of my family. My uncle treated her as a daughter. I don’t judge the color of the skin and I judge the inside. I even listened to my ❤. To me that is more important. One of my sister’s friends thought that our grandfather was black. She told that person that he is not black. He is white that tans easily during the summer. My grandfather was a German American. He just had a dark complexion for a white person. My mother looked liked him a little bit and even my grandmother,too. Even I looked more than my father but, my face that I looked like my mother. There is a tiny bit of American Native in me. I think it is 1/8 or something. I know that I’m 100% white American woman. I do care about my Swedish and Norwegian heritage from my father’s side of family. I also have German heritage from my mother’s side,too. I’m more German than Swedish or Norwegian. I’m happy to be what I am.

These are really good probing questions; great research and interviews!

Several of Lola's children and grandchildren have black noses. Definitely some black Creole blood.

I love your stories because I've been down the same exact road being from S. Louisiana

Thank you for sharing your story.

There is no way Lola could have brought white children back to live in the deep south during Jim crow. The confines of Jim crow was something you had to grow up with In order to be able to safely navigate. Being raised in the north and sent south to visit relatives cost Emit Till his life. Louisiana was a lynching state. If one of her son's even looked a white man in the eye while answering a question he would have been in for a beating. There is no way she could have done that. She was stuck.

Danielle looks so Native American & African American 💓💞💓💞 & Irish

I love love this story even though I know it's sad for the family. I soo appreciate you sharing. It encourages other families to find their paths in life. Soo hats off to you for sharing 😘😘

I found out we had a Native American grandmother several generations back. The only picture I have of my great grandmother, she looked very much Native American. It was her grandmother who was said to be Native American. For the most part we are of scots Irish descent. No sign of Native American DNA in my test but she was back there. When I told my mother that great grandmother looked American Indian she said “oh no. They were Irish”. I think it must have had some stigma back in the 1920s and beyond because they never talked about it…that branch of the family was located in Tennessee.

This is such a wonderful journey that hits home for so many. Thank you for sharing it. What the name of the song the lady is singing in the beginning? Her voice sound so familiar.

This is the video that I've been looking for! I'm an avid watcer and have really learned lot. I believe I am from a similar family.

Very well done. I'd like to see a second part.

I am happiest in knowing that YOU aren’t finding it necessary to hide this fact. You and your family see how stupid it is for anyone to have to hide who they are, as opposed to being proud about who they are. That is what is most beautiful about your journey... Being black and proud, native and proud, indigenous and proud!! The first Americans... Honor and love to our ancestors!!

"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time." -- TS Eliot. I pray that your searchings and findings lead you to a deeper understanding of yourself, the people around you, and your place in history. May your documentary be part of the healing balm that needs to happen for the racial hurt, distrust and anger that is SO prevalent here in these United States.

What's the song you used at the beginning of the video? It sounds a bit like Sierra Ferrell. I've really enjoyed your videos. Love is love and it should never matter who we love❤️

My maternal Grandmother had a picture of her 1st four kids taken on a horse back in Colorado in the mid 1930's. It was the same kind of man who came around with the same offer. This is the only picture of the 3rd child my grandmother had who died before the age of 5 years old. My mother is the 7th of 8th kids. She never knew what her older 2nd sister looked like until after 2013 when her 6th sibling passed away. The eldest sister who is the 2nd born child is now 96 years old, found it when going through her mother's pictures and shared it with the family.

When my black/white daughter was born some in my family wanted me to say she was Mexican and some just disowned us ....1999/ Alabama

Oh Wow. So many comparisons to these stories with me, even now as I'm having hardships and separations. I'm in a moment, questioning, why I should even bother or care, especially when no one else does. Everyone just cares about themselves. My dad, too, is connected with the airlines. We too lived in Louisiana for a time, but family is mainly from NY.

In Campti they ate tamales, meat pies, goats, hogs, greens, beef tripe, Pork intestines, peas, okra, turnips, my grandparents brought their unusual food taste to Monroe Louisiana and never gave that up, I was told they always wanted to eat the chicken foot as children at Campti, we ate wild ducks, the men killed ducks on black lake and sold them to be sent to Shreveport and New Orleans, that was before duck became protected and they used live decoy ducks

Lola loved her husband and I am sure that had alot to do with the decision. Love makes people do strange things to stay together.Lola must have thought the future was brighter here for her children as they grew up

My God. This is so heartbreaking. I get it though. My own dad tried to convince us that the only ancestry that mattered was HIS Irish/ Scottish/ English decent. I guess I just thought my family was terrible. I didn't consider this happened everyday to so many people.

It is very sad that the Irish grandfather discriminated against his mixed grandchildren. Congratulation to Lola for persevering and raising 8 children in poverty.

Danielle - have you found an information about your grandmother or her parents in old newspapers? The Library of Congress has newspapers to access on their webpage.

a nice family and with grit and smiles. winners.

Beautiful story, be proud of who you are. We’re all people created by God

Excellent documentary! I am just astonished at how America became the powerhouse it is DESPITE the crippling racism that afflicted many. How can one progress in their life if they spend their time on hatred and fear of the other? Blessings to all who read this and understand. We shall overcome.

I watch these with a certain measure of conflicted feelling. That aside, I’ve personally decided that Lola did what she had to do and that was the right thing to do for the survival of her children. I believe the conflict comes with the belief that Lola feeling forced to hide her ethnicity and train her own children to act accordingly. Leading to complete loss of that identity in subsequent generations of your family somehow brands Lola’s family as complicit. But that simply isn’t so. What probably made Lola stay was that potential was better up North. For a single mother of eight meant a life of not only drudgery but non-stop demeaning treatment and threats of physical abuse along with that drudgery. Lola wanted better for her children and, bad as it was, Albany squeaked by as the better of the two. Let’s be honest, in Louisiana there was always a chance of far worse things to happen than being 'rejected' or spoken ill of… The political climate in that part of the country had always been super-toxic compared to the north-east. Not that we don’t have serious race issues. It’s just never been quite as prone to exact physical harm as the South was and, in many way, still is. Her marriage to your Great Grandfather wouldn’t have made her life there any better. In fact, it would probably have been worse because the second most despised target of Southern bigotry was and still is religion-based - They hate Jews and Catholics. Northeast, fairly well-monied Irish dandy + Black/Italian/Mexican and only heaven knows what else - MARRIED!?! … Nah … They HAD to leave. That union was apt to be continually confronted by racism. The only thing that could’ve made it any worse was if they’d decided their child would be Jewish. What was already there was more than enough to elicit vitriol from all the haters in the region. However, this isn’t really about Lola’s decision. It’s about the essence of what you set out to do - Find the truth and learn why your family is the way it is now. The primary answer, of course, already presented, is well-known to us all - White Supremacy. White Supremacy has invaded and influenced EVERY LIFE THAT HAS EVER EXISTED IN AMERICA. Some have managed to get through seeming relatively unscathed but none has gone entirely untouched if not totally corrupted by White Supremacy. Just as it had disrupted the lives of the former slaves, White Supremacy influenced your family’s life. - Breaking your family apart. Forcing a single mother of eight to choose between the lesser of two evils. Forcing her in-laws and neighbors to disavow and ostracize both Lola and her children in order to avoid being, themselves, targeted by bigots. Forcing her children to unwittingly fear being known as their true selves by losing track and burying the past as well as they could. Finally, White Supremacy forced two generations of your family to become completely detached from awareness of your own family story. I’ll bet even money that this is the most common story throughout all of America but few people ever make the effort you have to learn the truth. (If that’s even possible in an environment such as this.) Instead, never knowing the truth, they tell themselves and accept whatever story makes their lives most bearable in an environment still too greatly in the thrall of White Supremacy to do otherwise with either comfort or clarity. A LOT of our personal histories have been blurred in this exact same way. Race notwithstanding. I sincerely hope, going forward, that any rift this journey has caused your family is soon healed. - Love to You and All of Your Family Always!

It's interesting how John Donnelly at 1:49 has very similar features (longer and angular fine face with high cheekbones, close set eyes, high forehead, narrow and tall pointy nose), face structure and how his eyes are set like people from Northwest Spain. Northwest Spaniards and Irish are related and each other's closest relatives, especially Asturias, Galicia and Basqueland..with Ireland, Asturias and Galicia being Celtic nations. However, blue eyes are more prevalent in Ireland along with more squarish chins. These older photos are so valuable because I think it tells the truth of how people from different countries looked like before mass transportation and intermingling. I keep on telling people Northwest Spaniards don't look like Antonio Banderas (who is a mediterrenean type from Malaga) but more like Irish, who are both Atlantic of celtic ancestry.

This whole thing is not surprising to me considering my grandparents on both sides disapproved of my parent’s marriage and they were only dealing with Austrian vs. Polish. That was common for those times.

This so common and saddens me. Because I had to except that. Also my mother would tell us we are Irish. I hated that Irish trait until my mother and father finally said that we are Chickasaw. My mother is from. Franklinton la, my father is from Mississippi band Chickasaw. I respect and understand what they had do to survive in those days. Shalom.

Read, "Passing," by Nella Larson.

Marion is so pretty she reminds me of my great grand ma

In those days mostly the husbands worked so naturally they would go where his work was headquartered. It was not uncommon for people to try to pass as white. It’s a matter of survival and the ability to obtain employment. She needed to survive and provide. She did what she had to in that day and time to make it happen. Wages were even lower for women back then, let alone being any ethnicity other than white.

Yup my mother left the south and never went back. I am the youngest of Six she is half a shade darker than Lola VERY LIGHT I’m 45 she is 92 remembers whites only she was traumatized. Her siblings are light black gingers only difference is she married a Dark AA man and Lola didn’t it effects the skin tone. I believe Lola was white passing to move back to where she was KNOWN as a Mulatto would be harder than starting fresh with a new identity. Hard decision to make to walk away from your past ITS Very Common my mother Said. Imagine if a lot of people Actually knew their real Ancestors racism would be Almost non existent. I have a friend in NYC who was told she was part Sicilian they are known to be the Darker of Italians she found out she is not but indeed AA by 40 percent on her DNA.

My grandfather was born at Campti Louisiana in 1910, like Lola they moved out of Campti to Monroe Louisiana and lived as white during severe racist times and it wasn't discussed because they broke away from being labeled in Natchitoches Natchitoches

Is this the same vid?

Lola's father in law was a horrible person, period. No matter what they were still his family. He let his blood suffer. He gives Irish people a bad name for being such a coward. I understand times were different but that speaks volumes of his character.

Thank you for sharing your family history of passing - this is a story that you don’t often hear because of the nature of it . What I find most interesting is the fact that your Great grandmother Lola 🙏 had 8 children usually people who passed was fearful of a child being born that could tell their secret - so perhaps your grandfather knew her identity and didn’t care.🙏

If she would have taken you back to her home you would have found out you were of Black ancestry and not just indian , and you would have saw a lot of people who looked just like you who identified as black... Im from memphis tn and you guys look a lot like some of my family members to this day

they fell in love they either made the decision to go north and live to have peace or she decided not to.tell her husband she was mixed

I believe that Lola did not return to the south because it was a hideous place to live for a person of mixed race. She probably saw more opportunities in the north with her husband and children to thrive and live more normal lives.

Wait a minute. Was Ms. Lola Native American or Black? Or do I need to keep watching the series to catch up on your journey?

I’m sure she left think that it would be a better life for her offspring. And despite the bad situation in NY it was still better than being a person of color in the south. Mother’s will suffer and endure hardship if it’s for the betterment and means that your kids won’t.

This is sad and profound!

I found out when I was 50 that my father's father was adopted father so that made him my step-grandfather that was Italian and I thought I was Italian and my daughter took my DNA and said I was25 I forget 25 or 28% Indian then my father confessed and said yeah I am adopted he kept it a secret because of my mother wanted that secret that I was Italian that sounded better to her and the other45% was from Spain no Italian at all there's still some DNA missing though oh15% was Greek and Italian and Portuguese

This cultural self-loathing stuff... I know people who experienced grandparents saying they were "white" all their lives, often being very "anti" a certain group. Then finally admitted to "passing" at the end of their lives. A friend of mine went through this and was told over and over she was wrong for suspecting/feeling she was Indigenous, then her grandmother finally admitted she was Indigenous on her deathbed, I think Cree. I also read there is a significant amount of evidence the FBI's J. Edgar Hoover was partly Black and covered it up, while publicly persecuting the Black community and its leaders. I know it was a different world then, but yikes.. some people still follow that erasure mentality.

It was worse in LA. that’s why she stayed.

It is not too ethnic, but too much melanin and different phenotype. There are ethnicities in spain, france, england, russia, germany, italy, etc...

Do a DNA test. Be proud of where you come from. I'm native and proud of my ancestors.

So, have any of "this" new generation get in contact with Lola's family now There has to be a lot of cousins to meet

My Grandpa also loved the tail of the chicken.

No she thought it was still far better to be poor and white than to be poor and Indian

I think Lola decided not to return to Louisiana with her children because she wouldn’t have been able to hide her racial history there. She probably thought it was easier to pass as white away from her family where her children would have a better future in Albany as white people than in Louisiana as Mulattos. What a heartbreaking reality that must’ve been 💔 she’s brave and did what she thought was best

Do you know what tribe you come from?

My question to the children that are successful, do you think you would have been successful if you knew Lola's true identity from the beginning? Because you still would be the same phenotypes that you are now. If you knew you had some African DNA would that stop your success in life?

Lola is absolutely beautiful my 3rd great-grandmother name was Louise and was half apache Indian I see some resemblance in looks either way your family heritage is beautiful

She ate the tail of the chicken??? Now that is Black! My mom loves the chicken "booty" as she calls it! Lol! 🤣

I'll have to read that again I think it was 15% Portuguese she didn't think all this sounded very good on my mother's side her father was Caucasian looking green eyes my mother had very blue eyes and white skin my father was darker but my mother's side was I guess mostly Spanish and it didn't come out Italian on my mother's side but her father was named g r a s s o an Italian name but it didn't come up on the DNA I think she needs to do that over again something weird there

I see why Lola stayed being eithic in Louisiana was way worse than dealing with racism in New York. It's a different type of hatred. And she wanted her decedent's to have a better life and more of a fair chance at success. If she went back your family would perhaps be darker making circumstances harder for you all

Ethnicity does not come in degrees. You can't be more, less, too or too little ethnic.

If you are born in America you are a native American

I think it's cool hearing about white European dudes marrying ethnic American wives. It shows how progressive these couples were since it was soooooo taboo back then. It's interesting when you hear how some of these European men were actually well-educated, intellectual, well-to-do and forward thinking.

That did not happen in the Spanish America.

All human beings should be treated with love and respect. Lola was better than all of these racist people. ( I guess the Irish quickly forgot their ancestors persecution by the British in Ireland and the cause of their starvation and their greetings of racism when when they arrived in the US for a better life ?)

So....yall are saying Lola was on Native American descent and that's it? No African American (Creole of Color) heritage?

People talk about racism they face in the group of like minded people. She wanted to leave the racism behind. Just like millions of africans who went north. But in the end, you face a different kind of racism of loneliness and afraid you will be found out.

omg

All these people look like me.. we ain’t Indian we are native.. most likely part of the ten northern tribes.

Imagine how we feel being lied to that we are African Americans but truthfully we are the Aboriginal copper-colored Indians of America and this is our land. We didn't get off of a slave ship. We were already here.

Louis Henry Gates need to find the genealogy of your family

So she passed for White and married a poor White man. Really, make it make sense. Poor is poor. If I am going to be with a man of another race he would not be poor. I would be poor with the devil I know before being poor with the devil I don't. She passed and still did not do any better. AMAZING!!

Indian?

Just came across this channel. It seems like it's just about someone trying to convince everyone that she's not white.

You lack faith : *WE ARE HERE* : Jeremiah 50:33-34 King James Version 33 Thus saith the Lord of hosts; *The children of Israel and the children of Judah were oppressed together* and all that took them captives held them fast; they refused to let them go. 34 Their Redeemer is strong; the Lord of hosts is his name: he shall throughly plead their cause(Jesus) that he may give rest to the land, and disquiet the inhabitants of Babylon. Abraham/Issac = Israel and Hagar/Ishmael= Judah/Judea :) there you go

No us Irish (Celts) aren't truly that way neither are us Germans and Israel and Judea and Juones that do that are the *tares* Matthew 13 and you see the bastardization of Israel is already starting. there you go it's trying to start again that's all because they are trying to prevent Messiah : *READ WE ARE HERE* : Jeremiah 50:33-34 King James Version 33 Thus saith the Lord of hosts; *The children of Israel and the children of Judah were oppressed together* and all that took them captives held them fast; they refused to let them go. 34 Their Redeemer is strong; the Lord of hosts is his name: he shall throughly plead their cause(Jesus) that he may give rest to the land, and disquiet the inhabitants of Babylon. *promised seed* Abraham/Issac = Israel and Hagar/Ishmael= Judah/Judea :) *there you go the beginning is the end is the beginning*

I think your would still be here if she went back home it would just be under different circumstances… and maybe you recognize that and are grateful for her demeaning sacrifice of who she was and who her family was so you could have your privilege…

My kids and my nephews are part of the air force and marine,s ,some are police officers and on there uniform tags clearly says Martinez, when average people see them they all say thanks for ur service and that's what's all about, no racist has saying against them simple.