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“Our gas is getting shut off…but I won’t sell my 7 cars”
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Күн бұрынRamit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Peter and Megan, 36 and 37. They are married with no kids but severe financial stress threatens their future together. Peter has grown to resent Megan’s unwillingness to seek a higher income. He’s changed jobs, but won’t consider selling any of their seven vehicles to alleviate their stress.
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@ramitsethi 4 ай бұрын
00:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
@artraeusimms6673 4 ай бұрын
Thank you Peter & Megan for coming on here and sharing your story.
@feliciawilliams5720 4 ай бұрын
Ramit I don’t have an Apple Watch or an iPad attached to a cellular line 🤣👏🏾. I can’t afford all that 🤷🏾♀️
@Tstarmoon 4 ай бұрын
Wow! Well done Ramit for the patience. They both don't seem ready to change and they both enable each other's behaviours. They don't have kids which is a plus financially...!
@mechy2k2000 4 ай бұрын
Ramit can we get a better breakdown of the debt in the graphics. I'm not sure if I just missed it or what. I would like to the know what % of the debt is the stuff like mortgage and cars vs credit cards , student loans and stuff. This couples just need a Dave ramsey style fix. This was tough to watch cause I feel like this couple is not ready to change. I hope that 215k debt is just mostly a mortgage and the cars. Other wise they seem okay money wise. Love your shows
@mollyelazier3663 4 ай бұрын
This ended up being an eye-opening episode for me. I was listening in my car, being all judgy about the 7 cars. Thinking "How can they not see that they already have the answer to their money problems, but they are unwilling to do it?! How lame!" The next day, I was complaining about how my kids' activities are so expensive and "if only we didn't have to spend money on sports travel, etc." It was at this point that I realized that my kids' activities are my version of the 7 cars. I have spent thousands of dollars on my kids' activities in the past 12 months even though I am in credit card debt. But when I think about telling my kids that they can't do their sports anymore because I can't afford it, I immediately dismiss the idea...just like Peter dismissed the idea of selling one of the cars. I have my own easy answer to solving my money problems...I am just unwilling to take it. Made me reflect and give a little more grace to Peter and Megan. It's not always as easy as it would seem.
@ManChilddd 4 ай бұрын
I think this is some great introspection and self-realization on your part! I think when it comes to children, I think it's even harder because parents feel guilty for not being able to afford their kids's wants and needs. Often, kids can also resent their parents for not being able to afford what they want and need. I'm not sure if there's a definitive answer. But one statement that really resonated with me was often parents give so much to their children that the parents deprive their children of privation. Something to think about.
@alexkram 4 ай бұрын
@@ManChilddd Other people's problems are always obvious
@Aquaria2291 3 ай бұрын
That's my favorite thing about these shows, they help you reflect on your own situation and see where you can grow. I'm not a parent, but if you want to continue to pull that thread, he has some other episodes where parents grapple with this exact thing - - torn between needing to address financial concerns and wanting to give their kids a certain experience or lifestyle. He had some good advice on how to bring children along on the journey towards financial wellness and how to get them excited about it, even when it means they will have to temporarily step back from doing some things that they love. Or maybe do them in a different, more affordable way. Good luck!
@chivosadventures8171 3 ай бұрын
@@ManChilddd Very well said.
@shay6688 3 ай бұрын
It’s a LITTLE different when it’s not an objectively material thing but is for your kids. Car junkies spend money on buying extras and doing upgrades for their vehicles; doing that for a child IS different. There’s a similarity, but not quite the same. The hard part is having multiple kids and maybe one or two has the talent and drive that you feel compelled to support, and maybe one kid doesn’t? A car junkie doesn’t have THAT problem. You worry about your children becoming jealous or feeling like you’re favoring one if you support one kid but not the other; then you resent yourself for sacrificing so much when a kid goofs offs. The reality is SOME kids should be in just rec soccer; whereas SOME vehicles (like the motorcycle I sold to pay for my kids’ stuff) truly require a higher octave -is my analogy making sense? Sorry if not. My point really just is that parenting is tough. It’s not like you’re merely hoarding cats and financing fancy feast; these are little humans you’re dealing with. My mom went into credit card debt trying to support my siblings and I. The sad part is she did more for my older siblings than she did me, and I actually was inclined to be the most athletic/dedicated -I’m the only one decades later who still has my main sport a somewhat central part of my life too. I found my own ways to get to practices and games, and I was happy with whatever equipment I had -a kid who is into TRAINING and not merely competing or the social aspects, is a kid who honesty will appreciate the sacrifices -something no motorcycle is capable of regardless of how low you got on that last corner.
@sarahoptical 4 ай бұрын
Ramit your patience is amazing.
@Laurenasmity 4 ай бұрын
Unmatched!
@MsJai_1 4 ай бұрын
I think it's his Psychology background, because I would have ended the call 15 minutes in.
@Dwell_In_Magic_369 4 ай бұрын
@@MsJai_1 💯 his Psych background.
@_melts 4 ай бұрын
Agreed. Everytime I think they're going to get yelled at, Ramit just offers compassion and understanding. His patience is out of this world.
@hantzmetellus7177 4 ай бұрын
He's a professional
@nachoaverage1125 4 ай бұрын
The way Peter so casually suggested divorce yet was literally in tears about the idea of selling just 1 of his cars may explain why Megan is so checked out. Peter makes these big car purchases and doesn't consult with Megan about it 1st because he "deserves" it in spite of being over his head in debt. Megan may not make a lot of money but she's not the 1 living above her means outside of her apple watch
@Thenandagain Ай бұрын
She won't change but she's going to be forced to. Divorce, bankruptcy and foreclosure are coming. The issue is he won't change because he sees her as a lump and a leech and she won't change because she sees him spending everything on cars. So lower class mentality...coupon your way out of your problems. Omg.
@GeeEee75 17 күн бұрын
@@ThenandagainThey're both going to end up worse off because each will cut off their nose to spite the other's face.
@maximillie_61 4 ай бұрын
The longest conversation that went absolutely no where 😂
@jdelacruz1058 4 ай бұрын
Maybe in the near future they will be ready to listen. Sometimes it takes a while to process or you have to hit rock bottom. While they seem to be there, for some people, rock bottom is lower.
@TheDan9169 3 ай бұрын
But I feel this episode will have hit home with a lot more people rather than the high net worth ones. It certainly opened my eyes.
@tyerrascott6596 3 ай бұрын
Like nowhere at all
@Kyvax 3 ай бұрын
Truly tragic that many people are like this. They have all this debt and even when they have these imaginary scenarios of magically getting out of debt or “tHaT’S NEveR GonNA hApPen!”, then we see these realities these people live every day are more common than we thought. I don’t really think these two are gonna change. The ship they’re standing in is burning and sinking and they’re just waiting for it to go to the bottom before they really believe they’re in deep shit. Pretty sad.
@NickiBluIs 4 ай бұрын
Honestly when he said he would not sell his toys, I would have flipped the question to “What are you willing to lose to keep the cars?” Is he willing to have no gas? No house? When resources are limited you need to get brutally honest with priorities.
@allisondiller7676 4 ай бұрын
No wife?
@tomaszp2027 4 ай бұрын
@@allisondiller7676 oh, he's absolutely willing to go 'no wife'
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
@@tomaszp2027exactly especially because he blames her for her spending and says it’s not fair. Yes, she needs to get a better job and care about finances, but it’s not fair you get to blow your money on stupid things too and blame her for it. Neither of them want to admit they both need to change and put in effort.
@PasaMulas 4 ай бұрын
That would have been a good comeback 😂
@TonyCox1351 4 ай бұрын
His answer would just be "id make it work. Id make it work" boy if he can make it work, why didnt he try making it work for the last 10 years??
@dunamispedro 4 ай бұрын
Ramit's patience and emotional care with people in a vulnerable situation is amazing.
@violetasettle4419 4 ай бұрын
I had a little girl in my neighborhood say her mom couldn’t afford snow boots (we live in the Dakotas) and they have a hundred grand in vehicles including a motorcycle.😢 Priorities in this country are not ok.
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
They’re really not! I have a SIL like this, cries to us about lack of food but then spends hundreds of dollars on junk from Amazon. She just spent 40 dollars on a solar panel scent thing for your car??? Girl get a cheap clip thing from the dollar store and make sure your kid and you are fed ffs. She expects us to take care of them it’s insane. We have enough for us and just aren’t nuts with our money. Granted I have debt and I mismanaged my money for a while, but I have control over it and I don’t just buy things to buy them.
@tifipaul5686 4 ай бұрын
@@mrs.quills7061she sounds like the type who buys what she wants and begs for what needs.
@awb19892 4 ай бұрын
They don't make the decisions at the time of emergency. I remember the 2020 covid food bank lines. People would say "wtf, just sell your car to buy food." But they were probably underwater on the cars. Not spending $100(?) on boots could also be a horrible parent thing. A lot of parents just neglect their kids.
@erikfrederiksen4863 4 ай бұрын
"Priorities in this country are not ok" or "This family has made very bad decisions" ?
@feliciawilliams5720 4 ай бұрын
Yeah…Ramit mentions that in the beginning. Our needs have become luxurious 🙄 as Americans
@VivienneAiyela 4 ай бұрын
I have been watching/listening to these conversations for over a year. This was the FIRST one I have ever screamed at whilst driving!!!! Sadly they are on a path of destruction and won't address/admit the real issues. Well done Ramit, I do hope that others who are in the same situation have listened and make change to improve their lives
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
I’m at work listening and yelled omg at my desk 😂 it was tough to deal with because neither of them seem or care or want to face reality it’s sad.
@awb19892 4 ай бұрын
let someone else drive.
@deirdrekiely6187 4 ай бұрын
@@mrs.quills7061 SAME ...lol. 🙂
@isabelreyes6387 4 ай бұрын
Me too 😂 I can’t believe ppl like this exist in their thirties. Thankfully they don’t have kids
@svetlanadreher7190 4 ай бұрын
He wants her to get a higher paying job to not sell cars. She wants him to sell cars and the shoppe to not look for a better paying job and keeping her playing money. No one wants to take responsibility for anything. They resent each other and don’t support each other.
@annagiersz3314 4 ай бұрын
Even if he got a higher paying job it still wouldn't be enough. Some people the more they have the more they spend and the bigger the debt. It's about mindset. Some people are depressed and get overwhelmed. It's not a mature way but it's the way it is with some .
@svetlanadreher7190 4 ай бұрын
Not my point. I’m just saying that both of them are avoiding action that they can take instead expecting their partner to do the work. And at the same time they don’t even try to support each other. Her smirk when Ramit talks about cars (“I told you so, sell the damn cars, I knew I was right” smirk), and him saying “you have a high school student job” (“Your job is stupid”) shows what they actually think about this situation
@TonyCox1351 4 ай бұрын
Bingo
@Tiffany-lo6hc 4 ай бұрын
Right, and like what if BOTH of them took action? Then there would be NO problems. A hundred thousand on cars and yet they've got late notices. 🤦♀️
@adam7349 4 ай бұрын
What is really frustrating is that they don't even have kids and the husband makes some pretty good money. I noticed people with no kids have the most expensive hobbies.
@drmccleggan 4 ай бұрын
I have never seen a couple so utterly determined to stay in a terrible situation. Hats off to Ramit for not flipping a table over. I kept thinking I was the most frustrated with them I could get, then she'd brought up the watches again and I had to headdesk.
@thewriteplaceforme6874 4 ай бұрын
What a sad and frustrating episode. I actually appreciated the ads because I needed a minute to stop yelling at the screen. For her: if she works in retail, doesn't she have to balance the till at the end of a shift? That's money, and she has to deal with it. She's definitely comfortable with the way things are and won't change unless (maybe even if) she loses everything. Find another caretaker and back to comfort-ville. I hope she works on her self-esteem and starts to look forward to the future. For him: I'm a bit sad for him (and her) because he's basically said that he'd rather lovingly let go of his wife than give up a single vehicle. I guess to him, it's a better long-term solution because he won't have to be a caretaker, and she won't hold him back anymore. What he seems not to realize is that his spending won't change, and he's still going to be in debt and paying minimums. For both of them: Ramit is never going to just take one person's side and sprinkle fairy dust to magically make your problems disappear. Ramit can show you a path, but you have to walk it yourselves. From just one hour, and from an outsider's perspective, the two don't seem like a team who will work together to improve their lives. If they ever send a follow-up, it would not surprise me to hear that he filed for (amicable) divorce. (I think my biggest surprise in this episode was to hear that they reached out twice to be on and still didn't send a follow-up.)
@kemi1486 4 ай бұрын
OMG me too! I was like is Ramit getting punked or something?! They’re both comfortable resting in their mess. Poverty mindset on full display!
@kingsgold 4 ай бұрын
he seems to be in this mindset that he is being held back financially by his wife. That he is doing well with multiple cars and successful auto shop and his wife is dragging him down. That all their problems would be solved if she doubled or tripled her income. He doesnt want to have to give up his measure of success just to fix their current problem if they are just going to be back where they are now but with less cars. And look, I get his mentality. If he knew for a fact that selling the cars would get them out of debt, caught up on payments and healthy savings and financial habits, Im sure he would sell what he needs to help them on that path of success.
@eileenwatt8283 4 ай бұрын
She might not be a cashier in retail. She might just be a floor personal. She lacks ambition because she could have moved up into management in retail.
@doubleservings2890 4 ай бұрын
I think they've given up on each other and divorce is what's best. 😢
@woboznz 4 ай бұрын
It's not sad it's telling, he has his answer right there: he wants his 7 cars more than his wife so now he needs to own it and divorce her. Release himself from the burden of taking over where her father left off. They were teens when they met so it seems neither of them got to fully mature into adults in some ways. It was probably too young to meet/marry. It often is. You live and learn, I hope he takes action as I don't get the feeling she ever will.
@13ikea 4 ай бұрын
I think they are BOTH extremely comfortable with not changing because they’ve been together since high school. There’s no balance, no motivation, just comfortability .
@daniella8400 4 ай бұрын
Yup! I’ve seen this before with couples who marry young. Out of shape, no motivation m, spending recklessly.
@pejisan 3 ай бұрын
no one should get married until they have learned about life. Money, jobs, etc.
@petejr5248 3 ай бұрын
That was confirmed when she said she worked in retail for 17 years and was only making $30,000
@Shelly-cy7sf 2 ай бұрын
But deep down they are extremely worried and sacred.
@lowlowseesee Ай бұрын
them being together in high school has nothing to do with it unfortunately. it has to do with not feeling like they are worth enough to plan for. anyone not bringing up the wifes self esteem and the poorness of the husbands youth is missing the core to their myopic money "management"
@mbens9995 4 ай бұрын
Maybe a reframe around “I’ve worked hard for what I have” to “I’ve taken on a lot of debt for what I have.” You don’t actually own the things because there is CC debt, utilities not being paid, and a house about to be repossessed.
@ashleel.9819 4 ай бұрын
I like this reframe. By far THE most frustrating episode. But I appreciated how Rahmit attempted to coach them through it rather than tell them what to do
@o0usf0o 4 ай бұрын
He has debt on the motorcycle (which cost 50% of his salary) and the cars. He “worked hard” to borrow money…
@Erin-rg3dw 4 ай бұрын
Especially because it could all be repossessed.
@lowlowseesee Ай бұрын
great reframe.
@AmyAnnetteHenion 4 ай бұрын
At 1:04:00, it upsets me that Peter's instinct would be to mourn the sale of his vehicles *after he's dead* rather than think, "I'm glad the value of those cars can be used to take care of my wife when I'm gone" 🤯
@Yentirb68 4 ай бұрын
Not what I expected 😂😂
@danielrn133 23 күн бұрын
Why are you upset? He doesn't care. The horrific decisions these grown ups make are what they decide. People can't learn from them that math doesn't care what someone wants. However I do not feel bad for adults making asinine decisions. Americans are self absorbed entitled fools.
@cybertoeknee 4 ай бұрын
Ramit's question of, "what else do you spend money on that distracts you from the mundane life?", was a really impactful moment. It had me instantly taking inventory of my recent purchases and if I was guilty of doing the same thing!
@shauntikayvette 4 ай бұрын
As Americans We are used to overspending because consumerism is the backbone of our economy. We are marketed relentlessly, there is a psychology behind marketing, creating materialism and spending. Many who are financially free aren’t playing into the consumerism playbook.
@Dwell_In_Magic_369 4 ай бұрын
💯💯💯
@ST-rj8iu 4 ай бұрын
Consumerism is not the backbone. That is a choice. Just stop doing it. Everybody complains that they spend too much but do nothing about it. Victimhood is becoming the backbone.
@noraorzack3979 4 ай бұрын
@@ST-rj8iuthis is like telling an alcoholic to stop drinking. Our entire life we are taught to spend (think christmas, birthdays, EVERY holiday), it’s not as easy as just NOT buying
@ST-rj8iu 4 ай бұрын
@@noraorzack3979 ok. Well then keep drinking and blame others. I guess that is your solution. good luck.
@danielromerosol4158 4 ай бұрын
Amen!!! Don’t play the game
@user-zb1nk8go9g 4 ай бұрын
Did anyone notice the occasional screen glow she had while looking down. Playing her games even on this call is indicative of how little this couple prioritizes actually solutions. I hope they change. On another note I love listening to the way Ramit talks about money and relationships. I’ve been listening for the last 6 months and have completely changed my lifestyle. I have paid off my car and working on my student loans now to get my 50/30/20 ratios in check. Went from 96% on needs to 68% currently! Cannot wait for when I have the 30% for fun! Thank you Ramit and your team for showing a path for change.
@tanjafromzurich 4 ай бұрын
Congrats! That sounds amazing!
@RaechelMaelstrom 4 ай бұрын
Yeah if you think about it, being on your phone on a call like this where you're asking for help is crazy. But I'm sure that's almost an automatic reaction to stress for her, which is also pretty telling. Old habits die hard.
@janebaker4912 4 ай бұрын
She might be using it to calm and regulate. Or shes addicted, or both.
@Capycorg 4 ай бұрын
@@janebaker4912💯 spot on. It's called a numbing behavior.
@janebaker4912 4 ай бұрын
@@Capycorg I'm autistic so I play games on my phone to calm myself.
@VictoriaVictorova 4 ай бұрын
OMG, Ramit, thank you SO MUCH for pointing out the corelation between people in financial trouble and the possession of an iPhone/iPad/iWatch.. THANK YOU!!!
@feliciawilliams5720 4 ай бұрын
I hadn’t noticed 🤔😏
@Trix897 23 күн бұрын
Yeah, I just have my iPhone and I don’t replace it every two years. That’s all I need.
@stampinprn 4 ай бұрын
I think he wants out no matter what. It’s not even about the money.
@spf_500 4 ай бұрын
👍🏿
@annethompson8105 4 ай бұрын
He is picking his cars over his wife. He said that he is still young enough to find another wife but is worried that he won't have cars again. That's telling
@gettinghealthywithtsherrel9710 4 ай бұрын
I agree! He wants to live his own life.
@LarisaC. 4 ай бұрын
It’s never about the money.
@JBJB992 4 ай бұрын
Agree!!! It seems he wanted Ramit.to focus on how bad she is, so he wouldn't seem like the bad guy for breaking up. He's looking for a way to blame her for his wanting to divorce. BUT her attitude and motivation about life is MEH. She's takes no action for her own wants/needs. I couldn't be married to that either.
@Flare6 4 ай бұрын
This episode is a reminder that we can't help people who do not want to change. Ramit did a great job with being patient while also holding them accountable. Hope they take something positive from this experience and move forward with action toward building their rich life.
@Dwell_In_Magic_369 4 ай бұрын
Such an interesting connection to growing up “religious” and/or not feeling a sense of control over one’s own life. Very insightful.
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
Often women are victims of religion too we’re taught we aren’t enough and denied any agency over our bodies and identity as a person. She seems depressed and has wicked low self esteem.
@asongfromunderthefloorboards 4 ай бұрын
Some people like to avoid responsibility by externalizing things onto "God", "the Universe", "luck", "the government", etc. Every problem is someone else's fault, so they can't be held responsible. The opposite is also bad, being too "Type A", having an internal locus of control, thinking you could have done something that you had no control over. Sometimes things really are outside of yourself, natural disasters, car accidents, many health problems. You can get insurance to help with these things and drive the best you can, eat healthy, exercise, etc. But things can be outside of your control. So it's about seeing things as they are - you control the things you can control and try to defend yourself against harm from outside.
@klt9874 4 ай бұрын
Good point on "mass luxury" items. Ramit is spot on with his analysis.
@TheLo354 4 ай бұрын
So true. Her example of answering a text on her Apple watch confused me. I have an Apple watch without cellular and do the same thing; my phone is with me - I'm wondering if she can't have her phone with her? It's so bizarre.
@JoshuaCoogler 4 ай бұрын
@@TheLo354 Some phone companies don't allow the watch to be on the same line as the phone. Apple has a list of providers that do allow it. They need to find a better provider.
@Erin-rg3dw 4 ай бұрын
@TheLo354 Maybe they can't have them on the sales floor? Even still, he would know that, and the response can wait til she's on break.
@shauntikayvette 4 ай бұрын
Why is the focus on Meagan when Peter keeps overspending as well. Seven cars and not willing to change anything is wild 🤯🤬.
@Not_A_Hopeless_Romantic 4 ай бұрын
I think the focus was on both of them. Ramit mentioned Peter’s overspending multiple times, as well as Meagan’s inability to increase her income.
@michaellawrence3345 4 ай бұрын
He’s a dam fool 😮😮
@jm123456789101112 4 ай бұрын
They’re losing their house and going further and further into debt… and the dude won’t sell one of his SEVEN CARS?!?
@TonyCox1351 4 ай бұрын
To be fair, Megan was literally playing games on her phone while they were doing the CSP together. It’s hard to even call this 50/50…they are both 110% to blame
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
@@TonyCox1351agreed they’re both problematic and unwilling to care or change it seems. I get it’s hard to sell things you enjoy, but you can get those things back when you get out of debt. I’ve been sacrificing travel and other things right now, to get my financial situation under control. It sucks, but you can’t enjoy life when you’re stressed or worried or working all the time!
@hid34way 4 ай бұрын
I just realised I bet she was gaming on her phone on some parts of this video man. Oh god, that's so hard to see. I'm happy you called her out with "why aren't you taking this seriously?"
@CambieSweets 4 ай бұрын
The same way she’s not taking her career and money habits seriously. People leave traces of themselves in everything they do.
@tomaszp2027 4 ай бұрын
Lol, I've missed it, but was mostly listening as podcast. This is so disrespectful that I can't even... Not a therapist but getting some addiction/depression vibes from Megan.
@woboznz 4 ай бұрын
Yes she started to look down at clearly a phone towards the end... she said earlier she shuts down and I think by that stage she had fully shut down. I get the feeling they both have significant trauma, totally unhealed. They're a match in the most unhealthy of ways, I hope they find each in themselves better paths forward
@samanthajaneyy 4 ай бұрын
She totally was by the end.
@Capycorg 4 ай бұрын
@@tomaszp2027I agree and I wish Ramit had asked his therapy question as he often does.
@charliegolding9439 4 ай бұрын
this man is the poster child for "what you own, owns you"
@cncntrc 4 ай бұрын
This episode gave me so much anxiety. Before the end i knew nothing would get resolved. I have zero debt, a fully topped up emergency fund, savings and and a diversified portfolio and this episode made me open up my csp just so i could mentally take a breath again and know im fine and on track. This couples indifference to their reality hurts my heart. 😢
@MarieArter 4 ай бұрын
The only time Peter had energy was when he spoke about his cars. This episode was sad but enlightening.
@niknak950 4 ай бұрын
She’s far from perfect but I think it’s a little odd to come on here and say I know she’s comfortable and feel safe in her job, but she needs to change that job but I feel safe and comfortable with my cars and my garage but those are nonnegotiable. That might be why their “conversations” never work, most conversations don’t work if one person goes into them, saying the other has to change everything, but they themselves are unwilling to adapt any of their behavior.
@Mama2CDHsurvivor 4 ай бұрын
Part of her issue is she may not be qualified for much else. He’s talking divorce, but he’s really the spender. He’s talking divorce. If that happened, she could get a room somewhere while he’s now having to pay for all his cars and fish tank and manage the house himself while losing her income. She’d actually be better off in many ways and it would help her self esteem to not be talked down to constantly.
@deirdrekiely6187 4 ай бұрын
17 *YEARS* and she is making only $30k per year. Do you understand how awful that is??
@deirdrekiely6187 4 ай бұрын
@@Mama2CDHsurvivor She could get a basic office job that pays better than working at Petco. She just does not want to. Must be cool to work around animals ....while you're headed towards bankruptcy and foreclosure. That's some epic denial right there.
@niknak950 4 ай бұрын
Everybody’s conversations seem to be about the wife and how bad her job is. It is, it is a really bad job and she needs to get another one though, I agree that she is probably not qualified for too many things at this point. However, my post was about conversations between a couple not working when both need to change behavior, but one of them is saying the other has to change everything but is not willing to change anything themselves.
@Erin-rg3dw 4 ай бұрын
Agreed, they both need to be willing to change their own mindsets and habits instead of blaming the other. They're not thinking like a team, they're just blaming everyone else.
@talizorah 4 ай бұрын
As someone who grew up with a car-obsessed father, I’m just glad these two don’t have kids. I can see Peter being willing to put his kid in a financially precarious situation rather than part with any of his precious toys. I remember when I was a young teen, I slammed the door of one of my dad’s cars in a fit of adolescent angst. He just about tore my head off. Not because he was mad about my attitude, but because I could have harmed the poor car by closing the door a little too hard. That was the moment I realized that I, a living breathing person, ranked below a bunch of metal and wires in my dad’s estimation. It was a sobering but eye-opening moment.
@nilampatel8608 4 ай бұрын
Their refusal to film a follow-up is very telling.
@deirdrekiely6187 4 ай бұрын
But sadly not surprising at all.
@feliciawilliams5720 4 ай бұрын
I was hoping g they had changed some things……😢
@lowlowseesee Ай бұрын
yep and they wouldnt even have to film, they could email and ramit would read it
@XianJag-oo1dw 11 күн бұрын
Oh please. They got divorced a month after that call. Of course there is no followup. When i saw them interact with each other, i could tell that dude was mostly wondering how he could get out of this marriage. The issue was the marriage that fell apart, and not so much the money.
@pauchopkins12 4 ай бұрын
I’m sorry this couple wasted your time Ramit. I would not have been able to continue talking with them after it was apparent they cared more about toys than actually improving their lives.
@lorririvera4506 4 ай бұрын
agree! maybe the bad audio during the first call was a sign to stay away
@letmebeyourwashingmachine 4 ай бұрын
While they didn’t seem to listen to Ramit, this was certainly a compelling episode. So, they didn’t really waste his time. I hope they take his advice. 😢
@mbens9995 4 ай бұрын
The circular thought process people get into was very apparent on this one. Even Ramit, a real pro at breaking that loop, struggled to get them onto a new path.
@elaynegiahoover436 4 ай бұрын
@@lorririvera4506 When Ramit said "audio issues" my first thought was, "Please tell me they did not go out and buy a multi-hundred-dollar fancy damn microphone."
@amitray6614 4 ай бұрын
I really felt for Ramit in this episode. He is so passionate about educating people and helping them with their finances. But if they themselves don't want to get helped and feel they are fine as they are (even though they say they aren't), then there's not much Ramit could do. I have had similar conversations with some folks I know. They either don't acknowledge there's an issue (even though there are signs) or they hesitantly acknowledge but refuse to make mends in their ways, I feel so frustrated. And in this episode I was feeling the same. Ramit was so calm and tried different ways. But they're not serious about the situation (both Peter and Meagan), there's not much Ramit could do. As the saying goes - you can only take the horse to the river but can't make it drink.
@chriso6042 4 ай бұрын
This guy wouldn't make it on his own anyway. 7 cars when youre in credit card debt, and losing money monthly is bonkers. He's probably the bigger problem, but they both aren't on the same page with money. He wants her to make more so he can keep living above his means.
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
Neither of them would make it tbh, they aren’t now and aren’t willing to change and expect others to pick up their messes they leave behind.
@letmebeyourwashingmachine 4 ай бұрын
And if she gets a new job, they’re going to buy a bigger house 😮
@13ikea 4 ай бұрын
@@mrs.quills7061using each other as crutches but not taking accountability
@Tiffany-lo6hc 4 ай бұрын
My first thought was, where are you going to keep your cars when you lose your house. 🤦♀️
@mmarieritter216 4 ай бұрын
Right? Apple watches aren't Petco money.
@ericeiber4911 4 ай бұрын
Dude is done, this is no longer about finances.
@rosieforChrist 4 ай бұрын
Right... when she said " I do, because I want to buy another house-!" I about spit out my water-!!!!!! These people are dellusional-!!!!
@svetlanadreher7190 4 ай бұрын
How come it’s rude to pull the phone out but not rude to do the same with your watch? The meaning is exactly the same…
@benchristensen1526 4 ай бұрын
I hate it when people read a message on their watch in the middle of a conversation!
@SuzanneU 4 ай бұрын
Cell phones are common. Apple watches are still not mainstream. Looking at her watch and responding to texts or phone calls is just plain showing off!
@milivaro 4 ай бұрын
Came for this comment 😂
@Lime6291 4 ай бұрын
Not to mention she works at a job making like 30k/yr... She's not meeting with a big wig client who needs her attention. She's working retail, now she shouldn't be rude but also her job is not that important. Just check the phone or wait 2 minutes for your current interaction to finish up before glancing at it.
@cooliedaboss2418 4 ай бұрын
Then she pulls the phone out while doing the CSP
@june4934 4 ай бұрын
This was a great episode even though it was painful and frustrating. Classic frog-in-a-boiling-pot psychology and everyone watching is screaming, "Get out of the pot!" To Megan and Peter, if you read the comments, thank you for sharing your story. I get why it's hard to change as Ramit is asking you to give up your immediate comforts for a longterm benefit that you've never experienced: financial security and confidence. And you guys are in a stressful situation so it's difficult to give up stuff you love for an unknown. It's tough to sacrifice anything meaningful for something you don't really value yet. The situation you guys are in is really typical of many Americans but going on Ramit's show is atypical and I applaud you for doing it! You guys have taken the first step and I hope you don't stop. Please consider getting some support like joining a group of like-minded people to help you on your journey. From a stranger on the internet, I promise you it's definitely worth it. Best of luck!
@dwatsiam92 4 ай бұрын
The real life definition or meme of the 'This is fine' dog with the house on fire.
@ZekeValk 4 ай бұрын
Peter's identity isn't really about having the drag race corvette or the HD CVO...but it's about the people he knows when he goes drag racing or riding with his buddies. If he had to sell them, he would have to explain to people why he's not drag racing anymore or why he's riding a 10 year old regular Street Glide now instead of the CVO. It would be drag on his ego within those groups.
@jrod6236 4 ай бұрын
Yup… Getting rid of those things reduces your social standing/status in those groups!
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
Oh that’s true, I didn’t even think of that! Maybe he feels lonely and isolated in his marriage finds that relationship with them instead.
@shauntikayvette 4 ай бұрын
I wish Ramit would have challenged Peter as hard on this as he did Meagan on finding better work. She is underachieving and he is overspending.
@ZekeValk 4 ай бұрын
@@shauntikayvette I wish he would've challenged Peter more on the "shop" income. Seems like a lot of fluff money that he gets to allocate where ever he wants while his mortgage goes unpaid.
@shauntikayvette 4 ай бұрын
@@ZekeValk you are correct. As Americans it is very common to often use acquisition of material goods that hold little to no appreciable value as status symbols. This is bigger than money and more than Ramit could probably tackle, especially in an hour. Financial counseling may be helpful to understand and conquer the reason, emotions,behaviors causing the issues then create a plan to resolve the issues.
@sarab81 4 ай бұрын
This couple deserves each other. They are the same person in different forms 😂😂😂😂 They refuse to change and I don't think they listen anything Ramit says
@El-wf2zx 4 ай бұрын
Peter bought the house on his own and he bought all those vehicles on his own. If you look at those two expenses alone, he does not make enough to carry those expenses. The CSP was not filled out accurately or honestly, Peter is playing a story with the numbers. Peter is telling himself that Megan is the problem but it was telling that should Peter die, Megan could clean this financial mess up and sell the cars and the house. This was just so sad and frustrating. If Peter ever does divorce and find another partner, his problems will follow him and I predict could even be worse, especially if he has kids in the next relationship.
@lizv2389 4 ай бұрын
This was hard to watch. We’re gonna need a feel-good episode for the next one
@ctownmedia 4 ай бұрын
Agreed for sure, this one was painful on multiple levels, ugh
@feliciawilliams5720 4 ай бұрын
🤣👏🏾
@cheriecheng3414 Ай бұрын
Your wish came true.
@Adman-p4j 4 ай бұрын
I can't imagine a reality where somebody has 7 cars and is about to have their heating gas turned off.
@ivanpadilla4479 4 ай бұрын
Ramit, “frustration” felt like you undersold it. Thank you for saying that 2 things can be true at the same time.
@rhondavigil795 4 ай бұрын
7 cars, but it is all Megan's fault. Sure. Peter needs to wake up before they lose the house.
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
I don’t think he cares about the house as long as he has his shop and cars
@rhondavigil795 4 ай бұрын
@mrs.quills7061 very selfish. I know someone just like him.
@Dwell_In_Magic_369 4 ай бұрын
@@rhondavigil795 “Selfish” is a strong word. They’re both in deep survival mode, with a lot of emotions entangled with money/material things. I appreciate their willingness to publicly share this conversation.
@shauntikayvette 4 ай бұрын
@@Dwell_In_Magic_369 Selfish seems appropriate because a lot of the blame for their financial situation is put on Meagan, who appears defeated and lacks confidence, so the blame appears at the expense of her current state with a lack of willing to do what he can to change the situation. What was clear but not said explicitly is he’s using her as a scapegoat for not having a skill set like him: he makes good money so he can blow more than he earns on his toys and things she’s not pulling her weight because she can’t make the ends meet. There was no extravagant purchase regarding her or by here that I heard so it didn’t sound as if she was pushing them beyond their means. If she is not in the picture, he’ll still having housing and the other cost.
@weswest8666 4 ай бұрын
He makes money on some vehicles via the shop in repairing and flipping them, if he got rid of the dumb ones that depreciate like the Harley and crosstrek he’d be ballin for sure.
@AndyTargaryen 4 ай бұрын
As a 37 year old I appreciate you saying that 37 is "mid thirties".
@millsykooksy4863 4 ай бұрын
😂
@chumabanjwa4662 4 ай бұрын
😂
@jonathanskinner6310 4 ай бұрын
39 here and and am very late mid 30's
@Playingwithproxies 4 ай бұрын
When would mid end is mid only 4-6 what’s wrong with mid being 3-7
@TonyCox1351 4 ай бұрын
37 is considered pre-forties
@meganbaril7847 4 ай бұрын
That woman seems so depressed to me. Maybe having her prioritize her mental health is what's needed before any financial fixes can happen
@SuzanneU 4 ай бұрын
She's not washing her hair - that's a sign that she's not coping.
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
I was thinking that too depressed, low self esteem, settles for situations that don’t suit her like this marriage or debt or even her job. She looks exhausted too. I feel bad that she can’t see herself in a better situation and I’m sure her husband doesn’t help either he probably makes her feel worse.
@kj1443 4 ай бұрын
Big assumptions being made here.
@deirdrekiely6187 4 ай бұрын
@@kj1443 What show are you watching? Her entire vibe and conversations here SCREAM apathy, low self esteem and depression. She has no motivation, She looks disheveled. She aspires to nothing better than minimum wage. She ADMITS she would probably have a hard time getting a good job, like no one would hire her. If she is not depressed now she's pretty damn close!!!
@Erin-rg3dw 4 ай бұрын
It might also help her look at her "why" a bit more, instead of being on autopilot.
@TheCaitling 4 ай бұрын
Just a quick FYI for anyone who doesn't know: If you have an Apple Watch that does NOT have cellular, as long as you are pretty close to your phone, a text message or chat will pop up on the watch and you can respond to it with the watch. It communicates with the phone via bluetooth. I have an iPhone and an Apple Watch and did not opt for cellular on the watch, only GPS. I know my phone is always going to be somewhere nearby, so for me, there was just no point.
@jeanunderwood4265 4 ай бұрын
Yes!! I have an Apple Watch and don't use cellular for it. Nine times out of ten my phone is pretty close by. Assuming she has her phone in a pocket at work she really doesn't need cellular service for the watch.
@arh1234 4 ай бұрын
Thank you. This is very helpful context.
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
That’s what I was yelling about! I have a smart watch and iPhone, you don’t need data for it to work lol.
@TonyCox1351 4 ай бұрын
That was my first thought. Also with Visible, and I'm sure other budget providers, adding a cellular plan for your watch is only $5. I pay $25 a month for unlimited talk/data + $5 a month for LTE on my apple watch.
@TheCaitling 4 ай бұрын
I really think sometimes that people just want an excuse to spend money, which sounds crazy but I think it's a psychological thing. That even if they knew they could get exactly what they want without an extra bill and without spending extra to get the watch with cellular capabilities, they would literally /want/ the more expensive options
@janebaker4912 4 ай бұрын
Even if Meghan doubles her income HE WILL JUST SPEND IT.
@craigs.t.3321 4 ай бұрын
Did she just say “buy a new house”?!?!!?! Bwahahahaha
@Nunya4567 4 ай бұрын
Yeah, I had to rewind that part because I was sure I heard wrong!
@mihaelasandor318 4 ай бұрын
@@Nunya4567 Same. Unbelievable delusional. I looked at her face and I thought she is crazy. Literally. Does she not know how much a house costs? Does she not know what their/her financial situation is? Wow.
@wastingtimetay 4 ай бұрын
seeing @ramitsethi 's micro facial expressions to moments like these is a top reason to watch these on youtube
@abarnett09 4 ай бұрын
I've listened to every episode and this is by far THE most frustrating. His obsession w his 1,200/month vehicles is way worse than her not wanting a new job. Get rid of those stupid cars you can't afford and she doesn't need a new higher paying job.
@shauntikayvette 4 ай бұрын
Wife doesn’t have confidence and husband doesn’t seem help build her confidence especially when comparing her job to high school kid meanwhile he’s collecting toys like a child.
@lucaspm98 4 ай бұрын
That’s a hilarious one-sided spin on the situation.
@shauntikayvette 4 ай бұрын
@@lucaspm98 I am not trying to be one sided, the wife is not engaged but there is a psychology to money and many of US are playing into traps set for us. The husband is caught in the consumerism as an outlet, which I can relate to, while the wife appears defeated and lack confidence to make a major life change like finding a new career rather than retail job. My comment was an observation of what I saw not a judgement on the people themselves.
@EboniLJones 4 ай бұрын
This is the craziest conversation ever. He wants her to get a better job to make more money, while he spends 1,500/month on cars and shops and does not contribute the income he makes at the shop to the household. 😮
@mrtt5931 2 ай бұрын
Yet he gets frustrated! So ridiculous 😊
@theChef1337 4 ай бұрын
This was by far the saddest episode so far. Hoping the best for both of them
@feliciawilliams5720 4 ай бұрын
Agreed 😏
@BenPearlman 4 ай бұрын
Both are children. In all honesty divorce is probably better for both of them at this point
@Julie-rg3mb 4 ай бұрын
Then they won’t have anyone to blame but themselves.
@CambieSweets 4 ай бұрын
Yes!
@NickiBluIs 4 ай бұрын
Having now watched the full thing I feel a lot of empathy for them cuz I’ve been stuck like this (in other area of life). Both of them respond to stress with FREEZE responses-Megan in her job and Peter with the cars. In my experience the only way to switch from FREEZE mode to FIGHT mode is to believe that your choices and decisions can have a meaningful impact (positive or negative) on your life. It’s not easy but I really hope they pull through
@tammara 4 ай бұрын
If they get divorced, he’s gonna have to give up half of those cars anyway
@kelseyboehme2482 4 ай бұрын
I was really frustrated with Megan at first but I ended up way more frustrated with Peter. Spending over $1000 on just yourself between a garage and motorcycle payment... but your wife needs a new job? Yes, it would behoove her to try and move up and out of retail. But for what in this case? So her husband gets everything he wants? She'll never have a bigger house because he'll keep the garage and buy another vehicle and they'll be back to square one. Her resistance definitely spoke to some self esteem issues, but I have to wonder if she wasn't truthful with about her avoidance. I think she knows if she puts her foot down and says "I'm not getting a better job just so you can keep 7 cars" that he'll be gone. And perhaps she's more afraid of that than poverty. I wish them the best, but given Peter's view on the vehicles in particular I'm not super hopeful he can make meaningful change - and that's the only way this couple can move forward.
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
Yeah it’s a very bad cycle she’s trapped in almost parasitic. He knows she relies on him and he’s free to emotionally and financially abuse her as he pleases.
@Anonymus-xr5ee 4 ай бұрын
@@mrs.quills7061@mrs.quills7061 Not sure how someone is financial abused, if the person is financially benefiting from it. She is living a significantly higher lifestyle than she could afford by herself with her 1900$ net income. The couple has a net worth of 270k, so they are not poor. This is also way more than you can save with 1900$ of net income. I did not hear anything about him e.g. preventing getting a job, making independent spending decisions, etc., which would be other signs of financial abuse. At their end of the day their arrangement seems to be more similar to a roommate situation than married couple, which is a bad thing. Having 7 cars and a bunch of debt and financial difficulties is a bad thing. But at the end of the day, both sides do not want to act like responsible adults, so they are perfect for each other.
@chriso6042 4 ай бұрын
You don't need cell service on watch to see text or time. It's linked to your phone so unless you leave your phone, there's no reason to have cell service on watch.
@Julie-rg3mb 4 ай бұрын
And most stores have wifi for customers. Even more have it for staff.
@maryakpadock34 4 ай бұрын
Yeah that didn't make sense to me. They're probably on payment plans too because the cost doesn't make sense.
@Playingwithproxies 4 ай бұрын
They got cellphone plans cause they give you credit towards buying the watch if you add a new line 😂
@TonyCox1351 4 ай бұрын
This is a common theme which Ramit called out, I also see it on Caleb Hammers show: Broke person walks into a cell phone store, then walks out with a iPhone 15 pro max, an apple watch ultra 2, plus the whatever the latest ipad is, plus apple care, all of it is financed, now their monthly cell phone bill is $300 a month and they are locked in for years
@tanjafromzurich 4 ай бұрын
I wish those two all the best! Its so brave to share this vulnerable information in front of the public. I think her seemingly uninterested behaviour is actually a shutdown/ collapse defensive strategy of her autonomous nervous system. So its more overwhelm than not being interested and the online games an attempt to soothe herself. I think it would be awesome if she could see a therapist and confront all these topics little by litte layer after layer in a safe environment and therapeutic relationship so her system doesnt have to shut down so quickly and she can gain more and more security and power back.
@akkuwahara8158 4 ай бұрын
I absolutely agree that she is experiencing a lot of stress underneath the appearance of apathy/defensiveness. And I agree it would be great if she could access some mental health treatment. There are some places with sliding scale payments for therapy. There are also job coaches and support groups which could be a more economical option.
@Capycorg 4 ай бұрын
Really well said. My spouse uses his phone this way. It's a coping mechanism .
@leahmanderson298 4 ай бұрын
Heartbreaking. Frustrating. Oh my gosh this was the most painful podcast to date. I sincerely hope they both have a change of heart before things get worse.
@jessicabender1301 4 ай бұрын
Wait. Hold up. He's complaining about minimal spending and he has 5 vehicles he wont sell and kept buying them? He tries to blame her the entire episode.
@sarahhiltontheleadsuite 4 ай бұрын
There was a worse one when they'd been dating for a while and the guy wouldn't marry her - it was so obvious he was never going to. Luckily in the update they had split...I Imagine the same is probably true for peter & megan here
@princessbablaschmabladingd7451 4 ай бұрын
Episodes like this are frustrating, but a grim reminder of what can happen when you aren't willing to change. I can't imagine sitting on 40,000 dollars when my lights are about to get shut off and just not doing anything because I'm emotionally attached to some cars. I mean, even selling 3 or 4 of them could get them caught up on their mortgage and bills! Megan's got 17 years of retail experience - she can surely transform that into a manager-level career and boost her income a bit. The solutions are just outside the door. Too bad no one is willing to put their hand on the knob and open it.
@feliciawilliams5720 4 ай бұрын
Well at least he is trying & watching Ramit’s podcast
@adam7349 4 ай бұрын
It is crazy that she has worked there for 17 years and only makes 30K per year. She uses her phone to escape reality and the guy prob does not approach her the right way about these problems. The guy is calling her worthless and telling her job is childish. He is pretty much verbal abusive to her so she just shuts down. I hope they both get the help they need.
@darkANDsqually 4 ай бұрын
@@feliciawilliams5720 eh he isn't trying. He's gonna take this meeting with Ramit and say he tried and do nothing. He wants to blame his wife and take no responsibility. They both need to change.
@user-cf4tj4hb2z 4 ай бұрын
Throughout the episode I kept thinking how thankful I am that they have not brought a child into this mess. Yes, they have a lot of issues, but the lack of respect for the process, repeatedly looking down and even looking bored…that really got to me. I hope that they can get it together before it is too late
@mygoodlife204 4 ай бұрын
She wasn't just looking down, she was playing games on her phone!
@user-cf4tj4hb2z 4 ай бұрын
@@mygoodlife204which is even worse related to the lack of respect :(
@jenniferodonnell3060 4 ай бұрын
They are not poor, they just act poor. Their income doesn't even factor the 2k from his shop (if I understood correctly). I feel his only motivation was to have Ramit call out his wife as the problem, which didn't happen. They are both contributing to the problem and are not willing to be educated on the basics. They are stagnant, hoping for a shift soon so they can thrive!
@Playingwithproxies 4 ай бұрын
That 2 grand is unbelievable maybe 1000 I don’t think they included any cost or rent for the shop
@arh1234 4 ай бұрын
I agree. Even without the shop, they make $110k/yr. That's good money in most of the country.
@rachelesmith3342 4 ай бұрын
I think he wants to say in a not so subtle way that he does not want to be with her. Not just due to money but in general
@Erin-rg3dw 4 ай бұрын
I don't think they included it either, but it sounds like he promptly turns around and spends it elsewhere car-related. I don't think they keep good records with the shop, or are good at separating the costs from their own.
@darkANDsqually 4 ай бұрын
@@Erin-rg3dw I was thinking he was being vague on purpose. 100% they're not reporting the income. Funny thing is if he actually did they'd probably be able to record a business loss for awhile and get taxes back.
@Stealth17Gaming 4 ай бұрын
38:49. It's less rude to look at your smartwatch and text back than get out your smartphone? Feels pretty rude to me. You're still interrupting a conversation with either a coworker or a client/shopper. What's funnier is that she's paying the price of the smartwatch + monthly subscription to allow her to still be rude. Frustrating. 44:20 "I don't want to change, I'm stuck in my ways", she says with a smile. Absolutely no agency whatsoever. It also means she doesn't feel like she needs to do anything because "this is just the way it is". 45:47 "I don't want to lose anything". I get it. Loss aversion. But you either sell some/all of your cars, or the collection agencies will come get all of them and more and you don't get to pick. 47:25 Quick flash of contempt when Ramit says it doesn't make sense for her to want a guarantee to get the job. She really doesn't want to be here. 51:30 She wants to buy another house...? What world is she living in?
@TonyCox1351 4 ай бұрын
Here's a crazy idea for them: When your husband texts you while you're at work, just ignore it and look at your phone later when you arent talking to a customer. Wow I just saved them $50 on a phone line.
@Stealth17Gaming 4 ай бұрын
@@TonyCox1351 Yeah. Sure, if someone is dying and they need to get to the hospital NOW then I get it. Any other situation can usually wait.
@Tiffany-lo6hc 4 ай бұрын
@@TonyCox1351Right?! My husband and I both work from home so we talk all the time but text messages can wait if you're separate during the day. Like, if there was an emergency your husband knows where you work and can probably find the number to get through.
@talizorah 4 ай бұрын
My jaw literally dropped when she talked about wanting to get a second house. Talk about denial not just being a river in Egypt!
@o0usf0o 2 ай бұрын
I basically work from my cell phone… handle millions of dollars in trades every month. I get 100+ emails a day. 20-30 calls a day and countless text messages… most of which require immediate attention. I don’t have a smart watch!
@michaelmansour6326 4 ай бұрын
As a car guy I can understand Peters love for his cars and shop. That is his get away, his safe haven, his pride and his identity even. BUT there is a line where you need to put you family and your finances first and do what needs to be done to get that shit paid off and start on the right path. Maybe sell a couple of the cars and get a nice used motorcycle instead of pretending to be rich for everyone else. The hole is getting deeper and deeper for them. I'm not sure what to even say about her. Super frustrating to listen to.
@TWEQDvideo 4 ай бұрын
Keep his top 3. Take pics of the other 4 :)
@FIREownyourtime 4 ай бұрын
How does both of them make 110k with zero kids not able to the thrive? Plenty of families survived on 80k with kids. Sell some vehicles, pare down to 2 cars and 1 bike. Then increase the rental a bit to cover some cost. Income is not the issue. Spending is. $110k is plenty for 2 with a rental. Vehicles are not just the cost of it. 7 titles, 7 insurances, 7 gas fill ups and 7 oil changes and maintenance. Excessive.
@Playingwithproxies 4 ай бұрын
Hell they can keep one fun vehicle and a motorcycle. They sell one car and pay off their car loans sell another and pay off their credit cards sell the racing car and pay off most their mortgage maybe. They are sitting on gold and won’t sell it to live.
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
I know I was so shocked. The answer is right in front of you, but he blames her. Sell the stupid garage and get rid of the vehicle. You clearly can’t afford either.
@reviewsbygen5591 4 ай бұрын
Exactly! We are a 1 income family of 6 (4 little kids) and are able to thrive and still save a lot. My husband makes $130k and we are very comfortable.
@lowlowseesee Ай бұрын
how lolol? did you not watch the whole episode its loud and clear lolol
@TheSaabiinee 4 ай бұрын
he doesn't actually want her to take on finacial responsibility because she would make him get rid of his cars if she understood what it cost them
@shauntikayvette 4 ай бұрын
She had a logical response to what would you do if husband wasn’t there, she’d sell the possessions. He is unwilling to do the hard thing and was frustrated by her willingness to do it.
@whitneyw.7919 4 ай бұрын
Very good insight. I’m pretty insightful and I didn’t even think of this. But I think you’re 100% correct. it takes 2 to tango
@olivercmit 4 ай бұрын
He literally loves his vehicles more than his wife. Just awful.
@SilverGirlAu 4 ай бұрын
And she knows it - hence her depressed outlook and distraction techniques... we saw it for an hour - she has been living it for most of her adult life... very sad situation
@evrythingelsewastkn 4 ай бұрын
It’s not awful if you consider -like a commenter said on here - that cars and racing are maintaining his social circle and identity outside the house . Maybe not all 7 tho ..
@verb0ze 4 ай бұрын
And more than himself also, because he doesn't seem to appreciate the toll the financial stress is taking on his health and future
@SuzanneU 4 ай бұрын
This is very sad. These people wanted Ramit to wave a magic wand and let them carry on exactly as they are doing. Take away the debt, magic Megan into a comfortable job with better pay, keep the seven ridiculous cars...Neither of them is truly willing to change.
@mihaelasandor318 4 ай бұрын
Megan said she wanted a guaranteed job. This is insane. NOBODY has a guaranteed job. Delusional.
@IAmebAdger 4 ай бұрын
There is no reason ever to finance a car that you don't need for everyday driving. If you want a car to be your toy to have fun with or to show off with, save for it and buy it straight up. If you have to finance your toy, you cannot afford it. Sell the cars, get yourself out of credit card debt, build up your savings, get financially stable, THEN go back and buy your toys.
@amp8134 4 ай бұрын
As a car guy i built my dream car but didn’t hesitate to put it up for sale for a down payment on my first house. I have an amazing wife who recognized it was a huge sacrifice for me to let it go being together 15 years she knows it’s a huge hobby of mine. And agreed when the time is right and finances are in order i could get another one. 4 years later from us working as a team we were able to buy an even better car than what i gave up. Trust me it may seem like forever man but it’s not
@mihaelasandor318 4 ай бұрын
People are not you. Not everyone can give up something that they cared for and treasured for 15 years. You consider your wife amazing and were ready and willing to give up your dream car to buy a house. Obviously the situation is not the same for this couple. I don't see any love/self love or respect/self respect going on between them.
@PradedaCech 2 ай бұрын
What was the first car, and what is the current one?
@amp8134 2 ай бұрын
@@PradedaCech first: supercharged widebody challenger Second: supercharged c6 grandsport corvette
@akkuwahara8158 4 ай бұрын
I think Ramit missed the mark a bit by framing Megan’s issue as a lack of consequences/fear. The issue is her lack of confidence and depression, which is largely fueled by being married to a man who does not respect her or care about her. I see a lot of fear in Megan’s demeanor and choices. Yes, she has never provided for herself, and her life has been subsidized. But that’s true of a lot of people, especially women in traditional marriages. They have no kids. At $110K a year, income is not the problem. The husband wants to create a narrative that he works so hard to support them, but it’s his expenditures that put them in this position of financial instability. He wants to pretend he cares about her getting a better job, but he actually seems to like the fact that his job makes him feel superior. Look, if I’d been doing the same retail job for 17 years, I’d be afraid of changing, too. Megan, find a few people who believe in you and explore your career options so that you can break free and live your life. You are not lazy, this guy is not spoiling you, he’s not even taking good care of you. The past is behind you. It’s ok that you got stuck for a long time. Forgive yourself and live your life!
@Mrs-wf4dn 4 ай бұрын
I saw it differently.... only because I know a lot of women like her. I actually see that he is too nice and patient with her. Im a woman and I would have left her 10 yrs ago. First, she plays the victim and she acts like she is clueless to get sympathy. In reality she is lazy and wants a "man" to take care of her. See how she talked about her father? And then blamed her father for her present? Also, notice when the host gets stern with her she gives off an attitude back.... self entitled and she looks down like she is on her phone..? How rude is that? You guys called him for help??? If she treats the host like this in 30 minutes of meeting him, imagine her husband who is married to her for 10 plus years? I think we are soo quick to victimize women without seeing the true colors first. And yes... there are MANY women in controlling marriages of course.. but this couple is not it. He loves his toys and hobbies more than her and she is completely reliant on someone to take care of her rather than learning to do it herself. They both are a train wrech. Notice how when the host points out changes she needs to make she immediately starts the "I am an idiot" card. Typical of these types of women. No accountability. Can you imagine being married to her? Even if you tell her she is the most beautiful wonderful smart person in the world and u believe in her... she will just be like "Eh" and go back to her usual self.
@jjdub35 4 ай бұрын
If she doubled her income, then here's the shocker...they'd still be broke. Like last week, this isn't necessarily an income problem. It's a spending problem. You should be able to "make it" on 115k with no kids.
@edwin5419 4 ай бұрын
I'm always surprised that people apply to come on and aren't actually prepared to take it seriously. Or rather one will take is seriously and the other comes to argue or avoid
@chukuemekaoje1015 4 ай бұрын
In this case, neither is really taking it seriously.... so far. The guy came onto the show KNOWING that one or more of his toys could be on the chopping block and STILL hoped for Ramit not to say anything.
@edwin5419 4 ай бұрын
@@chukuemekaoje1015 yeah, I watched further and reached the same conclusion. Not surprising they never followed up
@chukuemekaoje1015 4 ай бұрын
@@edwin5419It's so sad, considering that his wages are being garnished and he's not that far from lights off and foreclosure. The worst part is that when he finally crashes and burns financially, he's gonna be forced to give up those toys.
@Yummy2u 4 ай бұрын
@chukuemekaoje1015 They never give up the toys. They only trade them. I know from experience. He appears to own a few outright, and that is a badge of honor to him.
@faqu529 4 ай бұрын
THIS WAS ONE OF THE MOST DEPRESSING EPISODES I HAVE HEARD IN A LONG TIME! So Sad!
@erikblazy 4 ай бұрын
The house is on fire and they have a firehose but won't put the fire out because they might get water in the basement
@mihaelasandor318 4 ай бұрын
So aptly said. It is insane to watch this.
@JazzyCaramelCurlz 4 ай бұрын
There is money to be made in retail management. The fact that she's been at the same retail job for 17 years and NOT management is scary
@JBJB992 4 ай бұрын
Yeah, she probably brings this same (lack of) energy to her work. If she hustled, she could have at least been a regional manager, corporate trainer or franchise owner.
@deirdrekiely6187 4 ай бұрын
@@JBJB992But it's OK for him to have SEVEN f*cking vehicles when they are in huge financial trouble. Give me a break.
@JBJB992 4 ай бұрын
@deirdrekiely6187 what?? B/c I didn't mention him doesn't mean I find him blameless. Making only $31k at the same job with no promotion for 17 years is definitely HER issue.
@lmespinosa7320 4 ай бұрын
I also thought it was hilarious she thought it would be rude to flip open her phone when she's talking with someone, but it's not rude to look at her watch and respond to someone. Spoiler, that's still rude 🙄
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
This is the thing, my husband works at a grocery store and makes good money as he’s a pricing coordinator and a manager. She’s a cashier because she doesn’t care to apply herself. He’s asked for and given opportunities multiple times.
@kemi1486 4 ай бұрын
Every Tuesday morning I look forward to these episodes but, what did I just watch? Ramit has the patience of a saint. Must be the psychology training because this couple seems totally unserious about their situation. Not sure why they’re on the podcast if they knew they weren’t going to change anything. Completely disrespectful to Ramit’s time and profession.
@deirdrekiely6187 4 ай бұрын
It's DENIAL.
@Tiffany-lo6hc 4 ай бұрын
I'd bet money dude bullied his wife onto the show to fix HER without actually taking a look at himself.
@elaynegiahoover436 4 ай бұрын
@@Tiffany-lo6hc Came here to say this. Hubby wanted to go on the show so Ramit could back him up . . . . yeah that backfired.
@andriiia 4 ай бұрын
Him talking about his cars when Ramit called him out was like a little kid having to explain himself. I see children versions of themselves inside their adult bodies, and their hobbies are escapes for the lives they're currently living. I'm sad there isn't a follow up but I hope the best for both of them...
@deirdrekiely6187 4 ай бұрын
My best guess is there is no follow up because there is no change by either of them.
@jillstark6381 4 ай бұрын
5:45am- Every Tuesday- Ramit hour. Love it.
@akkuwahara8158 4 ай бұрын
Part of me actually thinks maybe she has great colleagues and wants to keep her job because it’s her main source of social/emotional support. Maybe don’t tackle the bear first. Maybe the first step is to join a choir, a book club, volunteer in the neighborhood, etc. She can do something that connects her to others and boosts her confidence about trying new things. When Ramit asks them what catastrophic situation would finally push them to change, they can’t answer because that premise assumes a level of self-worth they don’t have. They’re stuck in a contradiction of thinking things are doomed but will also work out somehow. There’s no point in fixing your problems if your life sucks anyway. I think this couple needs some help verbalizing what their rich life could look like. At one point Megan said she wanted another house and Ramit shut her down. Seems a missed opportunity to ask what she really wants out of life. Instead of asking what kind of catastrophe would get them to turn their lives around, a better question might be what is the smallest thing you can do today that would make you feel proud of yourself? What is the smallest thing you can do to face your life head on and stop avoiding your problems? What would it look like to care about your future? Choose your outfit before going to bed. Take the stairs instead of the escalator. Call a friend. Tell one person that you’re looking for another job. That kind of thing.
@JuliHoffman 4 ай бұрын
I thought the same thing! Sometimes a job provides more than just a paycheck. And if she gets a better-paying job, what's to stop her husband from buying more toys? I wish Ramit would have talked about Megan's "rich life." I feel like Peter's cars are his "rich life," not Megan's. What's Megan's incentive to change? Also, if she's ADHD or on the spectrum, sometimes playing games helps some people focus. It doesn't necessarily mean she isn't listening. And Peter threatens divorce...she would get half of everything and you know she'd sell it all!
@Capycorg 4 ай бұрын
Totally agree with you both. Ramit missed out on a "rich life" brainstorm with them. That really brings couples together. I think she has undiagnosed ADHD and has been told she will never be successful.
@tanjafromzurich 4 ай бұрын
Wow, i love your comment! Its so spot on!
@yadeweired3874 4 ай бұрын
This men does not want to be with his wife anymore. That’s it. He, multiple times, through out the episode has hinted to be ready to get divorced to better his financial situation but draws a hard line at selling some of his SEVEN cars. He prioritizes his cars over his marriage. He’d rather divorce the wife to maintain his “lifestyle” the financial issues is a cope out for the real issue and I don’t think she’s as oblivious to it as she plays to be.
@mihaelasandor318 4 ай бұрын
From what I was seeing she did not care that he wanted a divorce. Maybe she does too but did not say it outloud. There are many things in the life of a couple. Definitely lots of them were not revealed in this podcast. We did not see all that is going on. An iceberg has it's most dangerous part underneath (invisible to the eye).
@Julie-rg3mb 4 ай бұрын
I’m just relieved that they were smart enough to not have kids.
@michelejohnson6459 4 ай бұрын
I don't think they can have kids or she would have, probably so she could be a sahm.🤔
@deirdrekiely6187 4 ай бұрын
My guess would be wondering if she is able to have kids. Possible fertility issues? I do not know but she strikes me as someone who would like to pump out 1 or 2 kids.
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
Tbh if she’s always on her phone and he’s always tinkering with cars, I doubt they have any private moments together for that.
@Emilymk97 4 ай бұрын
It makes me incredibly sad that to this day women enter a partnership without knowing how to support themselves outside of the partnership. Always have a plan and know what's going on in your house.
@eileenwatt8283 4 ай бұрын
So true. Women who believe in fairytales do this to themselves . It's the Cinderella Syndrome. My pop's would never allow any of his 10 girls to marry without having an education and money saved for themselves. He taught us not to rely on a man. He knew how irresponsible some men can be.
@davidmasaka6547 4 ай бұрын
@@eileenwatt8283very true even if you find someone responsible what if you find irreconcilable differences or they die?
@Galworld761 4 ай бұрын
Most fathers, across POV spectrum (conservative / liberal) are concerned that daughters will not be treated as well as they did the job. Their biggest fear is daughters being trapped into a bad situation. This Cinderella syndrome tends to be passed down via the mothers. It was their pipe dream and they project it onto their daughters. My mom tried this and she did have the luxury of staying home. My father was the opposite. Despite, being a “provider”, he would tell us “never rely on someone else for the roof over your head or food in your belly”. He told my brother to marry a partner - you can hire people to cook and clean. You can’t outsource a good mother and solid partner.
@mihaelasandor318 4 ай бұрын
@@Galworld761 Your father was smart. And he was also right.
@unknownt5391 4 ай бұрын
These two need to divorce and move in different ways. If you don’t work on it together then at least divorce and figure it out on your own without having to carry your partner’s dead weight. Good luck!
@catherineshock5490 4 ай бұрын
He keeps saying losing the cars would be losing everything he worked hard for. He didn't work hard for those cars though. If he did he wouldn't be in so much debt. He bought them on money he doesn't have, money he didn't work for.
@JustAGrl007 4 ай бұрын
Megan’s face didn’t change at all when he brought up separating. She probably wants to separate too, but doesn’t want to be the person to do it. Been there.
@rerungirl 4 ай бұрын
She also can’t afford to be alone. She had a plan ready to go if he died but not if she had to make it alone
@michellegreen1072 4 ай бұрын
@@rerungirlAnd as soon as hubby realizes that, he will be out.
@oksanatoofor4470 4 ай бұрын
@@rerungirl Assuming she were to get half the stated assets in a divorce (and half the cars 😂😂😂) , that would equate to almost 5 years worth of her salary… which would feel like a lottery win, when you look at it from her perspective!
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
@@rerungirlthat’s what I was thinking, she wants out but doesn’t care to put herself in a more independent situation. They resent each other but she relies on him for money and everything. 30k a year is nothing.
@jdelacruz1058 4 ай бұрын
She has her family to fall on. That is what she said they would do if they can't afford their home.
@lindsay3995 4 ай бұрын
Unfortunately it all makes perfect sense if there’s an underlying problem with the relationship totally unrelated to money. Why would a woman leave the comfortable job environment (and familiar friends at that job) if she gets the most solace & confidence there but not in her marriage? Similarly, why would a guy care THAT much about his vehicles if he got all of his comfort from car hobbies & didn’t have real interest in home life and stability?
@crystalelizabeth654 4 ай бұрын
while I can empathize with the challenge of change, this was THE most frustrating episode. Why did they want your time and to “get help” when neither of them was actually willing to do ANYTHING to change? Wake the eff up! House is on fire, but they’re willing to burn with the 7 cars, expensive fish tank, and “comfy” low-paying retail job 🔥🤦🏻♀️
@mbens9995 4 ай бұрын
They didn’t even get to the bigger issue of retirement! It would be great to paint a picture for them - you could have no CC debt (if you sold the vehicles), that means you could save for retirement. You wouldn’t need to work overtime, which means you could work on personal development and fitness (mental and physical). You could still work on cars, but just get paid for it instead of the overhead of owning your own! There are dreams to make come true, but they are limiting themselves so hard.
@deirdrekiely6187 4 ай бұрын
Some people think talking about a problem is the same as fixing the problem. Social media is rampant with complainers who take no action.
@MarkSimithraaratchy 4 ай бұрын
This was such a troubling episode. Wishing these two the best and that the consequences of their situation spurs resulting changes.
@stevenmedina6525 4 ай бұрын
Wow, imagine being in the hole and not willing to change material things. The amount of cars is wild
@mrs.quills7061 4 ай бұрын
Bikes too
@Black_Myth679 4 ай бұрын
You by far have the best financial advice channel on YT. This is financial advice, psychology and sociology all mixed into something understandable and relatable
@ravenkushner 4 ай бұрын
I don’t understand why 2 people can’t live on $113,000. You just have to stop spending $150,000.
@Galworld761 4 ай бұрын
He can’t make it alone on his income with 7 cars either. That shop is draining his take home. Her meager wages probably feeds them. She should strive for more but that level of debt is not solved with an additional 20k per year. No woman earning 100k plus is going to subsidize a money pit like that. The scale is huge - 7 cars.
@MrCander000 4 ай бұрын
Their mindsets are shocking. At some point you have to get sick and tired of being sick and tired enough to make a change. I get working hard to buy things and not wanting to give them up, but in reality, they are just things that can be replaced. He'll lose half of his cars in a divorce anyway.
@Playingwithproxies 4 ай бұрын
He has two same model same year why is that not already gone
@Tiffany-lo6hc 4 ай бұрын
@@Playingwithproxiesbut what if they're different colors?!?!? 🤦♀️
@deirdrekiely6187 4 ай бұрын
Well he assumes he will always have money because he is willing to work and she assumes she can just stay with family if her life falls apart. They are delusional and display incredible lack of accountability.
@janettacoronte860 4 ай бұрын
my cousin works at petco.. he has moved up to management and makes way more, this is just complacency
@o0usf0o 4 ай бұрын
This girl couldn’t manage my fantasy football league unfortunately.
@DeziDoesIt 4 ай бұрын
For better or for worse… as long as I don’t have to sell the car
@Playingwithproxies 4 ай бұрын
Not even one ever cars are for life everyone knows that 😂😂😂 they can only possibly work better and appreciate in value if they sit and rot
@ywilhemraymond3480 4 ай бұрын
Getting a better job is good but when you don’t know how to manage money that won’t solve the problems.
@Tiffany-lo6hc 4 ай бұрын
$800-$1000 for guilt free spending. And homie has a $1500 monthly profit from his side business but doesn't contribute it to the household...
@elaynegiahoover436 4 ай бұрын
Getting a better job is good until your husband's debt load sucks your entire paycheck out the window and you never see a penny . . . .
@feliciawilliams5720 4 ай бұрын
That was Ramit’s point 😏🤔
@sbeautiful6133 4 ай бұрын
First! This is my favourite podcast 👍 It inspired me to start tackling my debt. It’s amazing how much of our financial (mis)management is psychological and linked to childhood.
@pejpm 4 ай бұрын
Everything changes when you get married and have a family. I’ve always had a high income, and I used to collect high end watches as it’s been my passion since I was a kid. Once I got married, I sold some to put towards the downpayment on our house, and when we had kids, I sold most of them as I just couldn’t really justify having so much locked up in watches when I could put that in the kids 529. Technically i could have afforded to keep them, but I just couldn’t reconcile it in my mind from a prioritization perspective. I don’t regret it, I’ll get back into it one day, but it seems like this guy doesn’t seem to get that you can’t prioritize ‘stuff’ unless your other responsibilities are taken care of first
@hollylandrum6785 4 ай бұрын
1:00:34 IS SHE PLAYING THE GAME ON HER PHONE DURING THIS ENTIRE EXCHANGE?!?!
@mihaelasandor318 4 ай бұрын
Yes. Definitely doesn't care about the financial situation.
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