0:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

The "Work hard so you can shop harder" sign in the classroom is crazy 😅

so evident why Ramit made such an effort to say "be nice in the comments"...

Kevin is a gem . He’s the man , husband and father I would want for my daughters . April needs to grow up and become a mature adult . BTW, April being poor doesn’t mean you look at prices . My net worth is over 1 million and I look at prices of everything! Even the trail mix I love from Target that just went up in price .

I grew up in that household too where having things is considered happy. As a result, my mom have 3 full closets, clothes spilling out from everywhere, shoe boxes stacked up high right to the ceiling. She buys then makes her happy, absorbs the dopamine hits and goes on next week for another hit. It's like an addiction to them. As a result, I am the absolute opposite. Only have 3 pairs of shoes, 27 pieces of clothing and 1 winter jacket. One way for her to visualize this is to have a garage sale of her 'investments' and realize that each piece of clothing is worth only $3-5 to other people. Every thing and item she buys is costing her retirement, her husband's retirement fund, their kids college funds, their ability to go on vacation. It's a never ending cycle to work work work and spend and at the end of 40 years career, you wake up to only 200k of retirement and now you have to depend on your kids for comfortable living. Very sad. She is 62 now and still working and living paycheck to paycheck. Don't be like her. This is a warning as a glimpse of your future. Nothing will change if you don't take steps.

Shopping addiction is an overlooked vice. People need to address it immediately. I am victim to this as well.

Talking about money is never easy but a married couple sharing their finanacial situation not only airs out their finances but their relationship. I give April and Kevin A LOT of credit for haiving the confidence to share this information. I hope the best outcome for this couple.

Uh.... This is a great husband!!!!! Thousands would love a thoughtful and loving husband and father like this man. I've watched too many videos with worthless and/or abusive husbands. This woman will ruin her family and her own life if she doesn't stop this emotional spending. She needs to think about her husband's and childrens' future and not what she thinks is right. This could definitely end in divorce. Please girl, get it together!!! You already have a great thing with a loving husband who wants to talk finances with you and take care of you and your children long term. Many grow up with alone raising children or with a monster of a husband/father and end up in poverty. Work WITH your loving, caring husband! The father of your children who cares for the future of your family! You're not going to get another one like him easily.

April seems to want to keep her childlike behaviors around handling money at almost any cost. She has so many tricks to make it ok. Like when she started earning her own money and got a credit card. She said “haha” in her mind to her father’s spending rules. That was the most real moment that she showed her true self. Therapy could really help her grow into an adult mindsets around money. Very sweet couple and I wish the best for them!!

She just says what she thinks Ramit wants to hear. I don’t feel she is committed

If you close your eyes and imagine that she’s 11 years old, it makes a lot more sense.

It kills me that people come on this show without even reading Ramit's book! It's a quick, easy read and will help your life and finances immediately! Such low hanging fruit - READ THE BOOK!!

I appreciate that you don't berate some of the spending people do whether it's clothes or something else. There's been a crop of creators on this platform lately where hosts grill people on small expenses that amount to nothing while comments cheer for the spectacle of it. It never gets to the root of the problem and I totally understand when those guests tune out on the advice. Keep doing what you're doing!

I really hope they keep Ramit updated. I feel that this episode encompasses the money issues of most people-- financial worry fatigue, getting dopamine mostly from shopping and not hobbies, etc. Unfortunately, most people don't want to make changes until they hit rock bottom, though 😔

April spends the entire time answering questions the way she thinks she SHOULD answer, but I don't think there was any honest introspection during this entire conversation. Unfortunately, I don't think anything in this conversation really reached her.

Who and when you choose your wife/husband is the most important decision in your life.

She has a sign in a 3rd grade classroom that says “Work Hard so you can Shop Harder”? If I see that in my child’s classroom, I’m 100% being a Karen and complaining. What a horrible message. I think the management at that school is asleep at the wheel.

My favorite Dave Ramsey quote "Adults devise a plan and stick to it. Children do what feels good." This quote helped me get out of debt and develop the discipline to make good money choices. There are so many tools available to us today to learn about money. They can dig in, learn how to budget, get out of debt, invest, and live a good life.

I love that you post early so I can listen on the way to work

I remember my ex wife agressively avoiding talking about finances. I asked her as politely as I could to read The Total Money Makeover because we were getting in serious CC debt. She refused. That refusal to acknowledge spending issues was a major part of our divorce. A year after out divorce I get a letter in the mail addressed to both of us. I opened it and it was a congratulations mail on a new car. She bought a new 30k car at 19% interest with an income of less than 50k. First thing I made sure is that i was not on that loan because we had been divorced for a year and my name was on the mail. Once that was cleared out, it felt pretty validating because I had tried to tech her about finances and she refused. Now she has a car loan thay I know she will never get out of. Felt good for a while, then I felt shitty because I realizrd another persons misery made me happy.

For those of you who listened to the podcast and came here for the closet, the segment starts at 41:56 😂

April reverts into a childlike behavior in the parts when she talks about her spending. You can definitely see her inner child in those moments. The wires on her headset are really taking the hit.😅

There’s an underlining depression with her. She could do with therapy and support. She’s self medicating by shopping. There may be a shopping addiction

I love that we’re getting into the subsidized lifestyle they were given by her parents while she went to college, a lot of people experience this and don’t realize the financial impact

The fact that she she bought a top, so she "needs" to buy matching pants...🤦🏽‍♀️ That says it all. She most likely already had matching pants in that closet. I get the sense that she learned to weaponize her tears to avoid consequences like facing their money situation.

I don't think this an uncommon situation. Thank you for your bravery coming on Remit show

Did you notice how babyish, wobbly and barely audible April's voice sounded throughout when being questioned by Ramit but then her voice completely changed to much stronger and clearer in her post Ramit initial update? Says a lot. I get the feeling she plays the baby to get her way

One thing I can appreciate about this couple regardless of how much the overspending may be one sided. Everything is “WE”. The level of accountability and ownership on both sides is great!

I switched from podcast to KZfaq just to see the closet! I get it. I have a spouse that feels happiness when he can see his things all in one place like that.

Very important for April to create a new way to connect with her mother - not just shopping. She fears the relationship will change once their hobbies change

It feels like April hides behind some of her child-like tendencies as a way to avoid hard conversations. I hope they can get it together for the sake of their marriage and kids.

Sigh… this is my wife and I. I totally feel for the husband when he said he feels alone. My wife will completely shut off when I bring up finances. 😞

I was also a shopaholic before. Shopping and buying clothes, shoes and other material things both in physical stores and online. when pandemic strike and decided to clean our closet and cabinets, I saw how bad my relationship with money has been. It was a difficult decision to remove and give away all the things i acquired over the years. But i chose to remove and clean up my life and i feel more happy and contented than ever. I see less clutter whenever i came home from work thus less stress. I dont do impulse shopping anymore. if i want something, i tried to think for a month before buying items. Not because i dont have the capacity to buy it but its the question of "do i really need it?Best of luck to the both of you! And its a wonderful episode. I can relate a lot..

I'm Mexican and a lot of parents here really do keep supporting their adult kids until their last breath. It's part of the culture, I guess. The economy here is hard. However, taken to extremes, it damages the children.

This is why I’m never jealous of married people, literally anyone can get married and it doesn’t mean the people are competent

This is NOT intended as an insult. I am a special education teacher. April expresses herself and presents as someone with a cognitive deficit, impulse control, attention, and particularly low critical thinking skills. Yes, she is a teacher. With a lot of support and compensatory skills, this is entirely possible. It seems most of this content goes over her head and she only superficially understands it. Breaking the content and material down to more basic levels will make a difference.

I definitely understand how she feels about her clothes but lately I see my clothes as anxiety and overwhelming.I realized that I don't like too many options so having a capsule minimal wardrobe is what's best now. I really had to step back and ask when was the last time I wore it, does it still fit, is it versatile, did my style change, do I even like it? Answering these helped me declutter so much.

Kind of painful to watch. She is really holding this guy back. Be careful who you marry.

Another great episode. I hope that April will really begin to soul search and begin to implement changes. Kevin seems to be a good husband who seems thoughtful, caring, and very patient. It's difficult when one person wants something or has a goal that the other has not a thought or consideration about. Wishing them the best.

Wow, just wow. I think April has a serious shopping addiction and it's very much tied to rebelling against what she saw as restrictive spending rules by her father. $1800 on groceries when they eat out 3 days a week?! And I screamed when they said they threw away meat - I just can't fathom being so wasteful with food. So disappointing to hear their lack of action afterward.

I really appreciate this episode. I'm working with family members who have a similarly avoidant attitude toward money. Like Ramit, I'm working on trying to get them to see the positive of being in control of their money instead of feeling beholden by it. And Ramit's right, a lot of people who grew up with low income think after a certain earning threshold, they no longer need to "worry" about money. They feel they worried enough in the past, to the point where normal financial planning feels as punishing as it did in their past. I got over this when I realized that I didn't have much to show for how hard I worked to get out of my low income status. Others I know aren't quite there yet.

I cracked up at Kevin's face when April said she's not spoiled😂😂😂 All jokes aside, I commend April for having the courage to show her closet to the world. Im sure that was uncomfortable for her as it's clearly a bone of contention for Kevin.

This was me not long ago. The difference is I have never been married. I never had a partner calling me out on my spending/ poor finances. I never fought and never had anyone dragging me to a financial counselor. I wished I had. Sometimes my parents would give me a reality check. Are you done????The malls are still open. It took my parents no longer able to bail me out to understand I had to have my own safety net. I will be debt free April 23 or sooner. I want to be just as aggressive saving. I went to Debtors Anonymous to get my wake up call and education. It is possible....if you want an authentic life. Finances are a life distraction if mismanaged.

This man has 3 children, not just 2. She has a "childish" behavior, like a child that has a tantrum... "I want it! I deserve!" Hopefully this was an eye-opening session for her, or they are in real trouble. I was married to a man like this and we spent 15 years of hardship until I couldn't take it anymore. I'd rather struggle alone than struggle with someone who didn't care if we struggled as long as they got what they wanted. I hope they can turn this around.

She has a sign in her classroom saying "work hard so you can shop harder" ???? WOW! Grooming children into poor money habbits... /financial ignorance... I would complain about the sign if I were a parent!

Many people are like April. Things = Happiness. More Things = Happiness. Stuff is useful, stuff helps create the living environment you want to live in, stuff helps you get things done. Stuff does not equal Happiness. After my mom passed, I got rid of more than half of the stuff in my house, I downsized to a smallish home. I constantly ask: When did I last use/wear things? If it's been 2 years -- out it goes. I have plenty of stuff, have a beautiful comfortable home ... I have plenty of excess cash flow to do the things that really matter. I wish these folks well in their journey. You can have great joy with your family without buying all this stuff. There are so many no cost things to do and have fun. My best memories of playing cards in the living room as a kid.

I don't understand how this couple got together in the first place. Her personality was like this pre-marriage. She was a child then and I don't see her changing. Even a divorce would just make her run back to her parents. I don't see change in this household, because she does not take the issues seriously. "Work hard so you can shop harder."... is clearly a mantra of a person whose life has been subsidized all her life - parents and husband. I wish this couple luck but as a woman who married someone lockstep with my goals, I don't see this one ending well.

With every episode I’m more convinced that a lot of people would get to their financial goals faster if they stayed single. I can’t imagine having to manage and be impacted by someone else’s bad spending habits.

This was a good episode. I love the supportive approach that Kevin is taking with April. I really hope they can make the changes that they need for their family.

I appreciate this episode and there are a few outstanding highlights I find in this episode that in my mind that are truly transformative to the couple: 1. Ramit’s totally understood April’s joy of spending money on clothes, and turned the issue of the fact that she is over spending is hurting the relationship with Kevin, not minimize her joy in having clothes. The stake of losing the relationship is a lot higher than just buying clothes. 2. Ramit pointed out to April - she can’t be living her childhood dream anymore, as she is a mother, holding her accountable the fact that she can’t always being in comfort place instead of growing out of her childhood comfort. 3. Ramit also using something that is motivating to her as to reward for her sticking to a goal. And acknowledges the change is not going to happen immediately. Yes overspending is a problem, but if we tackle the overspending sometimes it’s just a symptom of something deeper.

I love how sweet this couple is and despite the money issues, they have so much respect for each other. ❤

I'm surprised at Ramit's negative reaction at the end of their second update. They cut $800/month from their grocery budget, she hadn't bought unnecessary things when previously I believe she was spending hundreds a month. They cancelled their vacation this year cause they want to save for a big vacation next year. He took a new job to have the opportunity to make $20k more. In one months' time those are big changes. Most people never make progress like that. Ramit even your own advice suggests to gradually reduce grocery and eating out spending, they just went all in there. I wish them all the best.

I love this guy -- so sweet and genuine 😊

When people have a high grocery budget thry really need to look at how much food is being thrown away. I bet while she buys organic meat, milk, etc she also buys lots of snacks, chips, soda, candy etc. Americans are not unhealthy because we don't buy organic it is because of all the junk we consume. If she added up all the junk food and everything that gets thrown away it is half their food budget.

I definitely resonate with this episode. I would say I have somewhat of a shopping addiction and slight hoarding tendencies learned from my parents. Like April, I have memories of shopping a lot with my parents. Shopping with them was and still is a way of connecting. My dad has poor emotional intelligence and has a hard time displaying emotion and empathy. Spending time with him doing something he enjoys has always made me feel closer to him. My mother has always shopped as a way to cope with disappointment and depression. I definitely have picked that up from her. My husband can easily let go of things and only spends money to take care of his family. He is not wasteful and does not enjoy shopping. I am trying to be more like him. I don't want to pass poor generational habits on to our daughter. I want her to know she is loved and have healthy coping mechanisms that are not tied to material possessions.

His wife doesn’t care, the smile says it all. She thinks this is all funny, I promise you she told all her friends she would be on here and laughed with them about how much money she spends on clothes. She is not taking this seriously at all seems very immature. Her husband is in trouble because she is completely faking on this video and thinks it’s all a big joke. She isnt reading the book because she isnt interested, in her mind her spending is all owed to her. No way she respects her husband if he tells her to spend 500$ and she spends and extra 1000$. I know I was married to someone like this

Every time he said something like, “April is not good with money”, “April overspends”, “April, didn’t read my book”, I get triggered 😂 because my name is April and personal finance is one of my hobbies.

1:16:01 the driving example was amazing work Ramit!!! I love this channel so much

I get the sense that April has a lot of shame around money that she’s not sharing. She’s really good at parroting what she “should” do or what things “should” mean. But she just emotionally shuts down. I wonder if she grew up in a high control high shame environment around money and her shopping trips with mom are a way to deal with that. I feel for her. She seems to be suffering with all this lack of confidence and self judgement. Therapy will help her have a healthier relationship with money.

My oldest child had a 5th grade teacher who told the class “study hard so you can buy cool rims for your car” 😮 She was fired (for other reasons) before the year was over. The materialism of society as a whole is ridiculous, but people at least used to know not to push their consumption ideaology on kids. They get enough of it without teachers doing so. She’s so apathetic… I hope she reflects and makes some changes. It takes teamwork.

April having pride in her wardrobe is perfectly fine. She is happy with owning good quality and comfortable clothing. Only bad thing is how often she is spending. Trying to justify her uncontrolled spending on her life's passion of good clothing.

She might not want to clean out her closet, but that video inside of her closet made me want to go clean out mine and I have maybe a fourth of the volume that she has. At what point does a person have so many clothes that they couldn't wear all of them in a year??

You Rock Ramit!! Thank you for using your gift to bless/ help us! 💕

Wow! Only half hour in and this is THE most relatable episode out of them all. Can't wait to finish on the ride home.

If you’re an alcoholic you don’t keep a fifth of whiskey in your purse. April has a spending addiction, keeping any credit cards in her purse is going to be too challenging. She really didn’t seem ready to change. They seemed like super sweet people and I do hope they can get on the same page.

Just a side note, I like your updated masterclass ad. It makes the content fresh. I appreciate the excellence presented

She was spot on when she said that they were poor. Poor is a mindset that drive certain types of behaviors. Until she changes that, it wouldn't matter if they had 1M in the bank.

sheesh, ramit you are a great coach and therapist. Really loving how you approach these conversations.

I love the new CSP and visuals highlighting the numbers! I also love the clip at the end with the misc conversation.

The husband is phenomenally patient. She gets tearful about her habits upsetting her husband, but then embraces it as part of her identity and laughs about it, "Work hard to spend harder," at the same time. I get that it's a defense mechanism to cope, but it would be incredibly hard not to resent that attitude as a money-anxious spouse. That devil-may-care attitude toward toxic behavior would feel like cruelty to me as a worried partner.

One thing that helped a previous girlfriend of mine pair down her clothes was a rule that for any new item of clothes she purchased one had to be donated. With as many clothes as she has for a period of a year, that number could be raised to two items of clothes needing to be donated for every item purchased

The way you navigated this conversation is compassionate, powerful and expert. I think a lot of people with a spouse like April here could learn a thing or two about how to talk about finances with a partner that doesn’t want to

She should really consider purging the closet and selling some of it and adding it to savings. That will give them a nice head start. She has to ask the hard question what’s more important safety and security for her kids, or clothes.

April has great affinity for children and she also behaves like one. The mimics, the tactics, the mindset, etc. Its adorable but can be frustrating if you’re needing to adult

Husband has a lot of patience... Pretty much married a little girl and unaware of the situation. 100% parents' fault because they spoiled her and looks like they catered to her. Oblivious about money. It can be learned but the habits that she has are hard to unlearn. Good luck the two of you!

I think April has a couple good ideas to where she stays out of the malls and also uses a cash envelope system. I have additional ideas. Feel free to take the ones that work for you. 1. Find a new, inexpensive hobby to fill up that shopping time. You can find new ways to spend time with your mother. Can you two enjoy coffee or tea dates at home or even at a coffee shop together? Or you can go on a walk together in one of your neighborhoods (since you no longer go to the gym). 2. When you see something you like and want, wait 48 hours before you buy it. If you still can't stop thinking about that thing 48 hours later, give yourself permission to get it (but only using the cash you set aside as your fun money for the month). 3. One of the ways I squirrel money away is I promise myself if I have money leftover at the end of the month, I can roll it over into the next month. So if my budget for spending is $500/mo and I only spend $400, that means I saved $100 this month, and I allow myself to roll that over into the next month for a $600 budget. Sometimes I do this and roll over extra every month until I can buy myself something extra nice. But it's overall a good way to teach yourself to spend less while baking in guilt-free rewards and not adding any extra money to your budget. 4. In the early stages I would monitor your spending regularly until your habits are established. At least once a month, if not every pay period. After your good habits are established, you can relax the reins a bit and go maybe quarterly. It's a lot less scary and hard to face when you're looking at it all the time. Exposure therapy. :) 5. The best thing you can do to make sure you're not overspending is to automate and separate out your money. If you're saving for that train trip in 2025, have a portion of your money direct deposited into an account at a different bank from where your checking account is. It doesn't take long to stop thinking about that money at all until you're ready to spend it on the goal it was intended for. You can do this with as many accounts as you need, and funnel the money wherever it needs to go using direct deposit with your employer or, if you have a limited number of accounts you can direct deposit into, you can set up automatic transfers via your bank for the day of or the day after your check is deposited. You got this!

I just recently discovered you and your podcasts. I listened to one of them and loved it! Now I am hooked! It wasn't until recently I got my finances under control after years dealing with crippling amounts of credit card debt and student loans. I've learned a lot and appreciate the respect you treat each guest. I believe that April would have benefited from hearing the things you say throughout the video. They might be a little hard to hear but I believe they are necessary for her to hear in order to change. I wish them the best! Keep up the good work Ramit!

Ramit please could you do a video about ironing and teach us what you know? It's great to hear from people about what interests them and what they have skills in

Remit, you have a gift in this matter. You are good in finance and are so keen in emotion. By combining these two skills with compassion you guide people through their difficulties. You have my admiration

I don't think April's giggling is her giving 0 sh**t. I think she's extremely nervous. Like words are barely coming out of her mouth and her voice is a whisper

Ramit I love this podcast, in each episode, there is something that I can relate to. I love how you approach the psychology behind how we feel about money, got me a lot to think about. I noticed that there are always couples. It will be great and very interesting to see this in different types of people: single, young, single parents, etc... Congrats on this amazing and valuable content. 👏

lol the American pet part got me. My sister in law they got a German shepherd and then a rabbit and now a cat lmao

I swear you are a therapist because money is never just about money. Really gets me thinking because I have been shopping to ease pain. I justify it because I need it. I realize that now and going through a divorce I realize I need to figure out my rich life. I bought your book and journal and plan to get started with a budget. I do have 401k so I plan to increase my savings.

April, I almost cry. We have an opposite situation. My husband and I never talked about finances together. I want it to happen but I think he wants separate accounts. He wants to work for his future and I will work on my own. You are very lucky for having a husband with that kind of mindset. I want to work with my husband together so we can have a faster progress but this is the thing that I am not confident to tell him. Do not let this kind of relationship pass. You are blessed and lucky enough that you have a husband like him.

I appreciate these episodes; especially when they are so relatable. My husband and I are reading IWT now and I just may get the journal. I hope they keep Ramit updated. I would actually like some "update" episodes from past guests.

The driving example was amazing! So good!

As a teacher, and mother, my heart got broken when I heard about the "Shop hard thing"

Smart move to post early, love listening to you on the way to work

Really feel for this woman because she is likely the product of how she was raised. The wasn’t taught how to save money, budget her expenses and many other core aspects of what is means to be an adult! I’m sure her parents loved providing for her and doing everything for her but now she and her family are paying the consequences of their poor parenting. It is really difficult to fix at her age and she needs intensive counseling to help her resolve her core issues. Hopefully her husband can is willing to stick it out until she can mature and grow up into a confident adult.

"You can learn how to be good at money." Ramit sums it all up right here.

Lol-ing over Ramit's unconvinced face @25:37 😂🤣

What if instead of going to the mall with her mother, she goes for a walk in the park, I’ll take the kids and have a picnic in the park, something that isn’t wasteful. 🤔

That closet is pure chaos. My head hurts looking at it

My wife uses to have the same problem. Every time she gets paid, she would spend every last dollar, by the end of the weekend her account is below $1. It took me years to change her habits. Her parents never had more than $200 to their names. They only have a high net worth because they paid off the house they lived for the past 30 years.

I nominate Ramit’s editor for an Oscar - Best comedic editing!! The animal conversation that begins around 1:01:13 is GOLD!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Bravo!!

I LOVE THESE TUESDAY THERAPY SESSIONS!! 😊

The sign - Work hard so you can shop hard” in the classroom makes me VERY sad. I have a 9-yr-old grandson who just finished 3rd grade. If he came home and he told me there was a similar sign in his classroom I’m not sure how I would react. Maybe, at the next parent teacher night I would have to remove it.

I believe she deserves Extra Brownie Points for how she describes her driving style...We all wish most drivers were like her. Bravo! 1:13:30

Buying clothes is a symptom. Just one facet of her life... Her problem is being an ostrich. Meaning, i spend now, i deal with it tomorrow or next month, or my husband will always bail me out. Or my parents will. Its clothes, shoes, kids activities, things for the house, oblivious to bills, food prices. Its the mindset of ah don worry, we work hard, we should be able to do this. If not, someone will always bail me out.

I could be totally off here and Im only halfway through at this point. However, when the husband was speaking of feeling alone on the money issue and then acknowldged that his wife has her own issues where she says she feels alone. They didnt elaborate on what those issues are for her. Many people spend money on things and outings to fill holes in their life. I am wondering if her lack of discipline stems from trying to "feel better," by buying things/spending too much, leading to that vicious cycle of over spending bc things cant fix those kinds of issues. I truly hope that somehwere along the way in this video someone mentions some counseling and digging deeper for her to get to root of problem.