Respect. You obviously love and understand yourself and your children. You explain it so well. Thank you for making this and for being so awesome!

I'm an autistic teen and when I was a lot younger I was on a bus with my mum and there was this heavily pregnant lady there too and I said extremely loudly " mummy that lady is so fat". My mum was so embarrassed and today I feel so bad about it but it's still funny 😂😂😂

You are doing an amazing job - parenting is rough and not perfect and the people that want to judge are living in a bubble that doesn't exist !

Thank you so much for doing this video !!! I have been waiting for one of these!! Love y’all!!! ❤️

I respect you so much and I agree so much on your view of hitting! You guys seem to be doing an amazing job! Much love💗💗

I completely whole heartedly agree with you . My son apologies so much after a meltdown . He’s 4 and he says “ I’m sorry mommy “ . It breaks my heart and I tell him it’s ok and hold him. He doesn’t need to be sorry for something he cannot control. And he is very precious of his stuff . How do you deal with toys and sharing ?. Or going to friends houses with their toys ?. It’s exhausting :(. And a noise to me wouldn’t be loud but it seems to really upset my son . And he won’t wear headphones . I do PACT with him and floor time , language mapping etc . But I’m a single mom and I feel broken most days . I know he can’t help it and I need to try and set boundaries but don’t want to damage him psychologically xxx

Hey! I've been "binge watching" your channel this week. I found you when I was looking for some tips on homeschooling a child on the spectrum. My 8 year old has high functioning autism. But then I got totally sucked into your channel and your family and I just wanted to say hello! And you're doing a fantastic job mama! Thanks for vlogging and providing a place for other moms to feel a little less alone in this journey!

I find your videos very interesting. I am trying to write a book with an autistic character in it, and your channel gives me a lot of insight about Autism and everything related to that. I am grateful I stumbled upon your channel a while ago.

In my home, we have what we call Big Emotions Talks. To explain, when any of the kids start to have their emotions get to the point where it could become a meltdown, I sit them on my lap, or I sit down on the floor at their level and I say to them, " I noticed you had some Big Emotions. Would you like to talk about them?" The kids usually do. And then I ask them, " How do you think those Big Emotions made everyone else around you feel and you feel" Then I ask them, " How can we make this better together." Works everytime. Who knew that a few simple words could work such magic.

You are so good at explaining things, this was such a great video.

What I had to realize is a lot of the bad things my kids picked up was because I was modeling it (to a certain extent) 🤦🏼‍♀️ I found the more patient I was and the more love I give they’re more receptive. If you find yourself getting frustrated just taking a step back and examining how you should handle it and what kind of spirit you’re doing it with is very important. They pick up on it and it does work.

Oh my. My son won't stop cussing. NO MATTER the consequence. He's also a spitter, puncher and thrower. He has a hard time calming down. On the other side I swear he has a photographic memory. Very vivid imagination(TRUCKS esp garbage and heavy euipment)And wakes up SO HAPPY every morning. This advice makes sense. Your videos are keeping me sane until our appt. BLESS YOU.

Thank you for doing this! You are a wonderful parent.

Oh the cussing bit is funny for us , I’m Irish I cuss sometimes ( trying to stop ) lol but my son says “ no Mommy don’t say a bad word ) lol. I’m not allowed to say FOX lol

That is the hardest thing we have to do Going to try some of your ideas thank you for show me this

You are sooo full of wisdom and good advice! Keep these videos coming 😘

I got punished for being autistic, for stimming, for "looking stupid", for saying "stupid things" and stuff like that. My father even broke me by "training" eye-contact, "tolerating" touches etc. It just made me cover up my real self and despise my parents, nothing more. I can connect to every word you said. Thank you that you are so aware of autism

This is a great video I will be sharing. As I feel this way that my youngest who is on ASD needs to be disciplined a different way I have friends and family that disagree with this. As they have never dealt with a child with autism. Thank you so much I've been enjoying all the sharing

Thank you so much for this video. it has help me so much. i get people saying that you should discipline her (my daughter) no matter what. but when she is in a breakdown she isnt herself and they dont understand that

I’m on a countdown to get my 2.5 year old evaluated for autism or related disorders later this month. She is verbal and communicative and makes eye contact but a lot of the behavioral and sensory issues are just like autism. I’m dying to not be that mom that always yells and I love your advice. Seeing my kid hurt herself and myself when she’s in a tantrum is so sad because I know she doesn’t know what she’s doing but outsiders do not understand! Watching your videos is helping me get out of my isolation, thank you so much for these. ❤️

I gave your video a like within the first 15 seconds. Reason being that you are discussing something that is important and difficult to speak on. Kudos to you for putting yourself out there and helping parents (and in this case an uncle) instill discipline in a child who's senses are dialed up to 11. It's a sensitive topic but every child or adult for that matter, needs discipline. Not to make the parent's life easier but to ensure the child can make it in this sometimes cruel and intolerant world. Keep up the good work!

Thank you. This is so helpful. I have a 5 yo who was just diagnosed with it. It is so hard distinguishing how/when to discipline

Thanks for doing this. Our son turns into someone else when he has a meltdown too. We have never spanked and never will but we have been unable to find a way to get him to respect us and listen. With meltdowns, can't tell how much is autism and how much is bad behaviour.

you should definitely ask your older children how they deal with staying calm during a breakdown or what they do to help!! would be so interesting to see the kids point of view too!! love you guys so much

Thanks for the output a lot of people scare to share due to heavy criticism and thoughts of what worked for them has to work with you

You explain very well! Thank you!

Thank you so much for this video, OMG!!! My kiddo is 3yrs old and I'm searching high and low for other discipline methods because spanking is not it, I hate it, but its all I know, so I'm taking even more steps to find other/better solutions. I'm autistic with spd and so is my kid but he has other issues too...anywho thanks again!

GREAT IDEAS..THANK YOU!

Spanking/verbal abuse/other physical abuse doesn't make your kids respect you, it makes your kid fear you.

Thanks for your advice

"So YOU do not have to beat your children to have nice kids" 💜💜 #SavageAutismMom 🙅😎

thanks so much for the insite on this one. when we shared with a few people what you said about spanking they got upset as they totally believe in spanking. but we need to work with what we have as those people would complain the loudest if we would as our son would start hitting others as he can't understand why we could spank him and he mayn't slap others. in his mind it's the same thing. thanks again for sharing. Stephanie please don't quit your insight in vlogs keep on keeping on 💝

Thank you for this

Thank you so much for making this video. I know it's controversial but it may help parents like myself. I have been struggling with knowing when and when not to discipline my two year old. I give in a lot because like you said at first it's hard to figure out what is the autism and what is bad behavior. Thanks

We’re pretty similar to your family in how we address non-autism behaviors with Evie. She’s 5, VERY verbal except for in a meltdown or when disregulated, then she becomes completely nonverbal. She, like Noah, seems to experience her technology as a source of comfort and regulation. We continue to try to expand the things that affect her that way, but technology is definitely one. Also, like Noah, she really isn’t “naughty”, like.... ever lol. She’s just a pretty even keeled kid outside of when her autism related challenges happen. So we also rely a lot on loss of privilege for poor behavior. That said, we’re a HUGE family of prepare and prevent, help her know what to expect, and help guide her to the desired behaviors across the board. That preparation and setup of expectations tends to keep most negative behaviors at bay. We do a lot of positive reinforcement as well. Totally agree with you on corporal punishment. ❤️

Love this. Great info! 💞 i need to see more cleaning vlogs lol 💜💗

Thank you so much for sharing. My son’s name is Noah too 😊♥️

at long last some one who understands what we are going through God bless you richly

FINALLY someone says you don't have to spank your kids to get them to listen

Such a touchy subject but you did so well.

Your right every child is different .

It would be nice if Noah and Abbie from FatheringAutism met! Not only are they the same age and have the same condition, but you and FatheringAutism probably both live in Florida! :)

Great video on a hard to talk about topic. My 8 year old son with ASD cusses a lot too, more so over the school term, other kids think its funny so he keeps going with it. I almost get it to stop completely over holiday breaks and then he starts school again and the cussing starts up again.

Loved the vlog It was a real help I help in the 4 and 5 class at church and we have a child in our class with autism and have to deal with meltdown how do we keep the other kids safe during a meltdown

I totally understand being the only one ever hurt during a meltdown. I'm the only one who's ever been hurt (I'm pretty sure my nose has been broken) but it was only because I was in the way of a flaying panicked limb during a totally sensory overwhelmed moment. And I also totally relate to the difficulty of siblings learning to interact. For us Mae is super good interacting with her much younger siblings... it's definitely harder with her older sibling and the younger one that's closest in age. There's so much good advice here.

Great advice 😊

Glad you made the vid. I understand completely, my 13 year girl is the same way says she sorry after a meltdown. I make sure she doesn't hurt herself and keep her nails short so she doesn't scratch me. I take her IPad for discipline when she screams for no reason(cry wolf)but not for long that's her life. she never played with toys, or the playground. She is a good artist and loves Chinese videos. I home school it's easier for her and I know what she capable of.

I agree 100%... I understand completely.

Great video! 😊

❤ Good for you and your children for not beating. it is very bad for children - violence is not good ... Adults should know better especially today. No children learn from being beaten. Violence leaves severe scars for the rest of their lives. Speaking of experience from my childhood...! I have two "normal" children who are adults now. We raised our children ala the same way - but also with rewards, for good behavior. Can recommend this method, it motivates to behave properly. ❤❤❤ Love from Denmark

Thank you so much for this video my son is 13 my oldest of 5 who also has ASD and me and my fiance have gone back and forth how to discipline and everything you have said helps me feel validated like not punishing him when he says rude things to use that as a teaching moment because nick says thing that are down right hurtful ....I just landed on your channel and was wondering do u have difficulty when it comes to school I'm trying to fight for a theraputic setting right now and I'm having so much push back nick struggles the most at school kids bully him to the point they've shown up at our house ...I just was wondering if u too experienced this... but that's off to you for making these videos and helping parents feel not alone and opening up that's takes tremendous bravery !!!!

my almost 3 year old hits me during meltdowns and i KNOW he doesnt mean to hurt me. i pick him up when a meltdown starts just to avoid him hurting himself from flailing. i take the hits so he doesnt hurt himself. thank you for sharing all your experience🙏💕

Love this topic 💜💜

Tangle teezers are awesome for detangling knotted/messy hair 😁

I'm so glad that you decide not to spank Noah.I was spanked many times by my abusive dad and the result of it is now i have bad anxiety and got diagnose with depression and now even more vulnerable to meltdown in public places..

Great, informational video as usual! :)

I found this video so helpful! I have a 4yr old who is autistic and he was recently diagnosed with autism so it was a huge adjustment for everyone at home. I have such a hard time disciplining him and telling him to stop doing certain things and at times I get so stressed out because it is very hard for me especially with a 1 yr old to take care of Any suggestions? Tips?

Thank you 😢😍

This is a great vlog. You are hitting the points very accurately. I noticed you mentioned that Noah and Lonnie (forgive the misspelling) have trouble interacting. I agree that physical interaction (hitting) isn't acceptable. However, as you mentioned Noah has trouble engaging with Lonnie socially. That sounds like an Autism issue in some ways (and that is not a criticism). As a suggestion, have you tried social scripting with Noah to help him find words to interact with Lonnie? I know it must sound like the most obvious thing. However, for kids with Autism, simple socialization is difficult as they are not natural concepts but rather constructs that they need to figure out (just like talking about how much a person makes). Thus, perhaps after you get Noah to stop hitting Lonnie you could help him devise a social script and practice using it with Lonnie. Ex "Lonnie, can I play with you?" Lonnie: sure... and you guide that interaction. When Lonnie hands Noah that controller or bat or whatever and Noah sees the interaction going well he's going to be happy. You then reward that (hugs, affection, w/e he really enjoys). Then do.it again a few times over. Even practice the opposite (what to do when Lonnie says no) The more you practice and the more he makes the positive association with the script the more he'll want to use it. (I guess I should mention that I'm an educator with a BG in SpEd specializing in Autism & ADD. My suggestion falls along similar lines of ABA menthodologies) Either way, great vlog and keep up the great work

Your doing great as a parent and I really needed this video, my son is two years old and just found out he has autism

If you could have all four seasons of weather (like summer where it’s hot winter where it’s snowing and cold autumn/fall where it’s coldish and leaves fall off trees and spring where it’s slowly getting hotter before it gets hot for the summer) ( like the UK 🇬🇧) would you have them or would like them ?

My son is non verbal so it’s more difficult to discipline because he doesn’t really respond to us telling him anything

Don’t you dare apologize for your parenting. Discipline is good.

I can definitely understand meltdowns since I am a high-functioning autistic person. I used to have them a few years ago because where I work at used to be where they would discourage me checking my blood sugar and staying busy on my work. My glucose level would reach 37, for example and I would go into a serious physical meltdown because I FELT I HAD THE RIGHT TO TREAT MY DIABETES WITHOUT ANYONE STOPPING ME! I also worked out very hard at a gym that gave me shocking adrenaline levels to withstand low blood sugars. Now everything is in good standing at where I work at. They tell me I am free to treat my diabetes as needed, and appreciate all the hard work I do for them. They just tell me to be careful with my strength levels, too. I still work out and am sometimes not aware of my strength levels. Not only is it important that people in other areas are aware of autism, but in work places too!

Your a great mom it's your choice how you punish and I don't believe in spanking either and you don't need to explain yourself love your family and videos

I Love You For This Video! People Without Awareness Of Special Needs Children Always Think That A Spanking Should Be Applied For A Child With A MENTAL Disability Whom In Return Is Not Going To MENTALLY Understand It. And 9x Out Of 10 Will Likely Do It Again.

Great video, thank-you for sharing. One thing though, maybe one should ask "where did my child learned those cuss words from" and prevent the younger children from seeing those videos or games or whatever it is that they learned it from to prevent them from doing it as well? Have a wonderful day!!!

Love you guys 😘😘😘

100% agree on meltdowns that is no time to discipline. I try to keep things calm and if Ben is in the middle of one its just best to make sure he is safe and the only discipline is making him wait as he is nonverbal and low functioning. If he hits I say ouch that hurts give me a hug. My older son who is high functioning still to this day can try to make it seem like he forgot to do what he was told so we just say ok well do it now because we will not do it for him like chores. The hardest thing is realizing that they will always get upset easily and we have had to send our oldest adult son to his room a few times but he usually apologizes. He tends to take things out of context and wants direct answers like if I was to say I wish your dad would hurry up he would get upset and say you know he is always late why do you say that mom and he expects an answer,, so I try to keep simple thoughts in my head where normally its just a given saying to most. You do the best you can and take it day by day. They do not see the world as we do but I do know my oldest will make excuses when caught in what we see as a lie and will have to be talked to not that its anything major but he has also been blamed when growing up by other kids who took advantage of him Its tough any way ya look at it.

What types of situations trigger his met downs? This is a very interesting video. I have an employee at work that is 24 and autistic and my beautiful niece is special needs with several disorders but both of them obviously have different needs and discipline is very different for them. My niece is non verbal so my sister has mentioned that this can be a tough point for them

My son is 8 we just found out last year well i should say got the diagnosis of autism we had kinda thought he did for years. My son also hits and throws things destroys his walls any advise on how to get him to stop. And chewing on his cloths

Explaining and teaching moments are discipline, the meaning of discipline is to teach (it's a great form of discipline). As for disciplining a non-verbal child is very much the same as disciplining sny child and depends on their understanding of cause and effect. Mr. 14 is non-verbal but has good communication for the most part but most importantly he understands that if you do A that B happens. For him consequences is something like no ice cream after dinner, going outside to run around (when he's being super silly and needs to get away from the situation) not getting to sit in the front seat etc and when he went through his spitting stage he had to clean it up.

Thank you for this ... my son is autistic and he is 3. So frustrations run high When im not sure if it's an autism meltdown or him just being a toddler.

Loved this! Affirms all we are doing with our boys.

I understand been there

What is the Facebook group you referenced and what is the KZfaq page you referenced with the guy who’s daughter is non verbal?

When I was little, me and my dad went to buy sausage. I asked the sausage man 'Why are you fat?'. He looked at me bitterly. My father held in the laughter. I don't have autism but it is what kids do. Sometimes knowingly kids can be cruel but it's part of the exploration, testing boundaries.

Hey, I just wanted to reach out. I am feel like a horrible dad with my Autistic son. He typically has a meltdown every half hour to hour on the dot. It is 12-20 meltdowns a day and it always feels like a lot. By the end of the day we are both worn out. We are still on waitlists for ABA and getting everything figured out. Just wondering if you have any tips on how to handle the frequency. I get very short and impatient after a certain threshold and I want to do better with my son. We always end with a hug by the beginning of the next day we are back at it again. This can not be good for his mental health either and his well-being seems to diminish with all of this stress. Any advice is extremely helpful!

As it’s really hot all year round in Florida do you have air conditioning in your house ?

Random question Does your house have a back yard / back garden ? 😀

My autistic child is always looking for new words and will often ask me she can say certain ones. So instead of curse or even slang(which i don't allow as well) she says things like "oh woof!" or toenails! , meow! And her favourite is Fun! She loves the word Fun. This helps her learn to focus on what she is saying. And it also lefts spirits instead of bringing more frustrations as curse words were meant to do.

Can u lose like I dint know the right words... symptoms i know thats not the right word but I dont know how to put it but anyways can u lose "symptoms as you get older and can u gain them aswell"

My son will be 9 in June and he is on the Spectrum. He is verbal...somewhat...to an extent anyway. My questions to you are regarding homeschooling with ASD versus public school, and has Noah always been homeschooled? Has he ever experienced the public schooling system? What are your thoughts? How do you cope as his "teacher" and his mother? How does he function as far as behaving and learning during instruction? Maybe a video touching on this topic would be beneficial for those of us out there struggling with the issue of the public school system. You see, for the past year our son has been having extreme problems with his behavior at school. He does attend a public school, and he is currently in a gen-ed classroom. Before we moved, a year and a half ago, he was in a class (about 10 students) specifically for children on the Spectrum, and he attended a general education classroom for 45 of instruction per subject, along with a Para that was sent there with him if he needed redirection or additional assistance. That all seemed to be working. However since we moved to this new area and new school, they only provide what they call a "Life Skills" class for the students with special needs. It is made up of about 10 or so students that have ALL ranges of disabilities, not just those on the Spectrum (I believe my son was the only one with that diagnoses in there), and they have said that my son is too "high functioning" to be in that class. To which I agree. The issue we have is that he is now thrown into a class of 20 something students with a teacher that doesn't have the proper training to deal with students on the Spectrum. Also the school has said that they don't have the funding to send a Para to the classroom with him, so he is just on his own in there. As far as the staff is considered, he is known to be disruptive quite often and has to be removed from the classroom at least once a week for behavior. I could go on and on with the issues and calls from the school, and them not knowing "what to do with him?" Grrrr....Anyway, my husband and I have been revisiting the topic of homeschooling, but I'm just not sure that would be anymore beneficial to his education, considering I have no idea what I'm doing as far as schooling goes. Your topic on discipline made me think of these questions because we are struggling with whether we should or shouldn't discipline at home for his behavior at school. We are currently removing "electronic time" on a day to day basis, but I'm not sure on its effectiveness. Like I said I could go on for days on this topic of public schooling, so I'll just cut the topic off at that. All in all I was just wondering about your perspective on homeschooling a child on the Spectrum. Thanks again for another informative video! I enjoy all of your videos on Autism! Also another topic that I would love insight/perspective on is how the older/younger siblings adjust to a family member with Autism. Mainly the older siblings, since I think they have a better understanding of what is going on. I have a daughter who is just 14 months older than my son, she just turned 10, and my youngest daughter is only 4. My son being stuck in the middle of those two is utter chaos most of the time. I have so many questions and concerns regarding siblings and Autism, any insight on the topic would be a video I would definitely be interested in. Thanks again!

Do you ever find the hot weather in Florida ever too hot and hard to deal with ?

I have a strange question. With Noah being ten now, does he know that he is Autistic? As a parent how do you explain to your child what it is that they're going through? I'm also curious if you find that others generally can tell that he is autistic and if not do you think it's difficult that he doesn't very outwardly wear the autism on his sleeve? My sister's baby has several conditions including Rubenstein Taybi syndrome which couples with a number of physical and cognitive delays, but if you just see her out and about you don't just 'know' what's going on with her and why she may be acting the way she is

I am at my wit's end my 6 year old autistic son has melt downs multiple times a day and defies us at every opportunity. When we take something from him as punishment he either completely melts down which includes hurting himself and we give in or he acts like he could care less. We have spanked him but it seems like he doesn't understand why we're spanking him. Please help????

Please make a video about Lex'es day :)

Hello! I'm A mommy of my autistic 5 year old princess!(Daughter)When You said his way of coping with Netflix or his tablet,Ivr been trying to tell her doctors or teachers this & nobody listens to me they say take this away limit her access to Mabe 3 hours a day?Am I wrong for feeling like this isn't feasible?

I agree, spanking and yelling doesn’t work, it just causes a negative effect. My seven year old says stuff like Noah says too. He points out when people are overweight and calls them fat or points out people who are different than him. I always use it as a teachable moment and it’s so hard when they don’t understand not to say things that might not be considered appropriate but they are so matter of fact. Thanks for all of the advice, it helps.

Just wondered Do you find the puzzle piece for autism offensive ?

Hi hon I love ur videos , keep up the good work..😀😃

Does it ever bother Noah living in a really hot place like Florida ? and does he ever get too hot that he just feels drained and tired and ill or sweat loads because he lives in Florida that is really hot ?

What is the name of the FB group? Thank’s. Nice vid 😀

Also #landingcrew!

Try disciplining yourself first. If you can't control yourself, you can't control anyone else.

Like what did u do when he was three or lets say toddler age

I have a son who just turned 4 years old, he has PDD NOS. He is not fully verbal but he can understand basic thing and talk a little. Lately he started to have more anxiaty, tantrums and agressive behaviour. I talked to his therapiest as he was having one of his tantrums today at the her place. He takes his pants of and wants to stay butt naked. So we said he should put his pants on, and he started to scream his head of looking at my reaction. She said that that was not a meltdown (he never head a melt down) but trying to manipulate situation with anger and agression because he was watching my reaction the whole time. We now get this screaming thing when he needs to get a bath, put his pants on, or go to doctor or dentist. For the dentist and the doctor I can understand because it is fear i can see it on his face but the other things just make me go crazy. My husbund has severe ptsd and he cannot stand the agression and screaming without becoming agressive also. I don't know what to do, because if i let him scream my husbund gets stressed also. If anyone has an idea please share.

PS: I have autism, and GOOD ON YOU!!, you recognise that asd is a different circumstance, that most of these moments are due to social "gafs", because we don't know what we say is bad, when the appropriate moment is; or that it is the ASD in us that has control, and WE can't calm 'it' either, and we do try, because we are learning the asd too!!, what triggers us, what calms us down, etc. AND one IMPORTANT point, NEVER remove any coping strategy from us, as this can cause a meltdown in and of itself, as we have NO way of destressing and preventing a meltdown! ( and this DOES mean tablets, music, ipads, gaming consoles, or any hoby we do {including fidget things we have with us}, even just leaving us alone in our rooms for an hour or so ["social fatigue"]- dealing with so many people/ things in a day, we can't cope). the reason we can be so "bad" is that we know we are 'safe', you know this is not us, and that we mean you no harm, just the asd having it out with us, or us releasing our frustration at not being able to do things, or communicate effectively with you or our siblings!!, ALL our "safeties" are OFF, and we know we can be "our Autistic selfes", venting everything at once.

I am 14 and I am mostly high functioning autism and when I am mad I go am a phone