🤣🤣🤣👍🏽

The one I missed out on.

100%! This channel has parented me more than my (wonderful and very supportive) parents have in 20+ years of life.

I Stan to that statement 😩😂😅

Wow me too

Deserve is not the right word

Same here. Powerful.

Off topic, ur stunning But on the other hand you do deserve love. And even if it may not feel like it, there’s someone that really enjoys your presence. Always remember that. Love you, stranger. Have a great day

Remind me of a song lyrics by sleeping at last “how rare and beautiful it truly is, that’s we exist”

Nature would disagree

I’m sorry you experienced that! She might have been projecting her own experiences on to you. Parents do that, but that doesn’t mean we follow that behavior. Doing some self reflection and finding a partner who is understanding and consent is happening with both you and them, those are things you can look forward to!

Your mother didn’t consider the risk of winding up without grandchildren.

She was right.

@@jamesmayo3827 spotted the incel

@@richjuin9504 whats rong with that??

Oh my- I'm sorry that was your experience. I can imagine how quickly that sort of response shuts down a naturally curious mind. 🙏🏻

Omg.... My mother never even told me about menstruating and when I had my first period I kept it secret until maybe the third time I had it.

So much hype over an earring??!!

@@kimalonzo2145 😂😂

That's horrible. I'm sorry that you had to experience that. 😔

It's an incredibly difficult thing. 🙏🏻 sending you peace on your journey.

Lol

now i'm curious, what are your kinks?

It would help if people were honest and admitted that NO ONE enjoys in real life the level of liberation that everyone idealizes when talking behind the anonymity of the internet... Way to go on making the problem worse!

I hope you find peace and happiness

10 months isn’t long

I'm sorry you've both struggled so much. It's a beautiful, albeit difficult thing to grow with a partner in this way. Sending compassion and peace. 🙏🏻

@@luna_belle5029 thank you kind stranger. Peace to you as well.

oh wow

If you can remember that God gave you to one another and sex is another way to praise God for that gift, it can be easier to relax together.

I know as odd as this might seem, in fact we are been taught many things from society and our parents that are in fact wrong and what your mother said to you couldn't be any more far from truth.. I Would highly suggest you to learn something about spirituality. There's no such thing as punishment for being gay. Everything has a reason and that's absolutely meant to be that way. One Luv 💚🦋🌺

So twisted for threatening to kill you, but was also scared that you 'are going to get aids and die' WTF???

Still unlearning my parents homophobia as well. I wish you luck ❤

I'm 32 as well and grew up the same way. I'm making a decision this year to move past this. I know it won't be easy but I've been a source of joy and confidence to those around me my whole life. It's time for me to be that source to myself now.

@@alexyancy6018 repent.

rampant sexuality and decandence is a sign of societal collapse. the roman, the greek, the babylonian empire all had severe decadence problems near the end of their existence. the most stable and strong societies tend do have a lot of stigmas around sex. if a society seems stable and has a liberal view on sex, it's probably built on quicksand.

@@ianbirchfield5124 the truth. 👌

@@ianbirchfield5124 Whilst your historical accounts might well be accurate, there's a vast difference between 'rampant sexuality' and people being extremely sexually repressed as so many of us are in Western society due to cultural conditioning. Sex is an important expression of love and should not in any way be perceived as something to be ashamed of. Lack of closeness and connection is a huge part of why we live in such a broken society.

@@mariarossi6719 a good example of rampent sexuality in our society would be the fact pretty much every man has a porn addiction. porn addictions are causing many problems with with men's psyche. it weakens men. it's also not good for women. men see women as sex objects precisely because of porn. another example of rampant sexuality is "hook-up culture". where people are allowed to just sleep around without being labeled a slut. research has shown that promiscuity has a negative effect on women. they found a direct correlation with the amount of sexual partners a women has had and how likely she was to be depressed and abuse drugs en alcohol. a similar correlation was found between the amount of sexual partners a woman has had before marriage and how likely she was to be dissatisfied with her marriage and how likely she was to get a divorce. more sexual partners = more misery. men didn't have this problem, only women. both these problems are being made worse by the media. celebrities who sexualize themselves and make it seems like being oversexualized is a sign of "strength". or with Onlyfans, where girls are able to monetize their sexuality, which goes back to the porn problem. if non of these things existed, no porn, no free sex. these problems would be much less prevelent. people wouldn't have much of an idea of what they wanted. most of what people know about sex they learn from porn. no porn => no strange fetishes => no dissatisfaction. i'm not saying these problems will be non-existent, just less prevelent. not to mention, we can't create utopia. for every problem in society we fix, we'll create an equal opposite problem. free sex brings weak men and unhappy women. but at least we won't need to be ashamed of being horny. it's all about what world you want to live in.

@@ianbirchfield5124 But isn't the reason so many people turn to porn is because they're (or their society) is ashamed to even talk about sex?

@@dktoString Being vulnerable is being authentic. Being able to feel vulnerable around another person is to be genuinely yourself and an expression of trust. The opposite of vulnerability is defensiveness or being closed off. When your trust is violated by someone you allowed close to you, it can be traumatizing and can be difficult to find that sense of vulnerability, closeness, authenticity, and openness again in a relationship with another person. Feeling like you're able to be vulnerable is a good feeling, and it is directly related with trust.

No biggie. Just get to know the person and create a bond before you share yourself with them. Ideally someone who actually cares about you.

@@michaelhathcoat7876 Well, it was quite a biggie for me to try to enter into a romantic relationship after having been so badly burned by my first experience. When the negative feelings that you've had about yourself (I'm unworthy, not good enough, and so on) have been loudly, and publicly, "confirmed" by someone else then it is hard to blithely bounce back.

@@evantochydlowski4787 Spot on Evan 💯

@@hihowareyouthen You are correct, that rejection cripples you. It’s a hard thing to let go of no matter how people on the outside try to affirm you.

I'm sorry to hear that man, but remember that there are people that will accept you for who you are :)

@@zhangao4530 no way . That's extremely dangerous.

Aw man.. I'm a straight girl, but I do understand your situation, as I am coming from Indonesia (which the biggest Muslim majority country in the world). I heard some stories like you, believe me it happens in real life that men were insisted to married by the family. And as the time goes by, some of men got divorced or the wives knowing the truth but keeping the secret. I wish you the best in life!

@@Ordinarygirl21 thanks for your support.

Do you mean a guy or a gay?

I'm appalled you had to go through such experiences. And, the other experience with your partner perplexes me. I would have thought they'd understand. Have you considered maybe they were projecting onto you their own issues with their own body, or perhaps something else going on in their journey of discovery. And that maybe, their reaction then, had little to do with your body instead? Your feelings are still real. And still valid. As well as the consequences. Rhetorical question really. You don't need to answer because, now that i re-think. That's a very personal question to ask a stranger even if you did volunteer a bit of information, it is still a super personal question. And rhetorical, tbh. All the best on your healing journey from both experiences. I need to heal from the first subject you mentioned. I hope you realise that actually your body is wonderful, strong, changeable, versatile. And, you realise you are worthy of seeing yourself as a beautiful human. May you be comfortable in your own body. Your body, as it is, or has changed, maybe even just from puberty, and as it changes and evolves. As all bodies do. With interjections or no interjections. Is valid as is it, and be just as valid as it will be in the future and will continue to be so. And, at all stages your body is worthy of love. And, at all stages, your body is worthy of respect, love, and kindness. (From yourself. And, from others.) No matter what reaction, you get from an outsider/s. No matter how people treat you. You are worthy of respect, love, compassion and care. Especially from those who say they care about you. I had expected your partner to show kindness and compassion and not such harshness, especially more so at that point which you were vulnerable to them. I hope your healing journey has improved and continues upwards, inspite of any set backs. I hope you realise you deserve so much better than what happened in the past to you. And know that whatever, the best version of "better" is to you, it does exist. You aren't wanting for too much. It is realistic. People are out there who will accept and respect you and your heart and your body wholeheartedly and genuinely. They do exist. And, i hope that you love yourself and accept yourself and are comfortable in your own body. Same for me, too. So that even if others do not show us these basic human decency. We show it to ourselves. And, do not need them for it. And can reject their negative labels and ideas, and know it's just their outside perspectives, and not inject it into our own thinking of ourselves. What's helping me a tiny bit at times. When im struggling with the battles in my mind, trying to reject other people's negative opinions of myself. Even though the following statement is not a 100% concrete. It still makes me feel good when i remember this statement when having negative thoughts around the harsh opinions outsiders have of me: "Opinions are like @ssholes. We all have one." And, it helps me to briefly reject the thoughts surrounding the negative ideas that "they" have of me.

sending you love thank you for sharing

so sorry you’ve had to deal with that. YOU just as you are deserve to be loved fully.

@@baltermore4137 Obviously she doesnt see that because he/she changed their gender

A long list of non-consensual and degrading experiences definitely doesn't help ime. I come to expect it and now I'm not sure I'd know how to respond to something more positive. I'm so sorry you had to experience that rejection. That is probably one of my worst fears: someone being grossed out by my body once we're already intimate. I'm not trans in the sense that I've changed my body, but I do worry about freaking someone out because of my gender expression or lack of it. I'm genderfluid and don't feel especially optimistic about someone being attracted to me in all of my different 'modes'. It has been especially difficult with straight men as soon as my more masculine side comes out. This is understandably so; but it is still painful to know that only a very limited dimension of myself is attractive to a partner.

There's nothing to heal, sex is not important

That's what I'm doing these days, and it's hard for me even as a guy. It's even harder for women. Hope you are doing better now and are more accepting of yourself.

True .

I can relate. My parents threatened to disown me if I had a boyfriend when I was actually interested in boys, at like 18, 19. But now that I'm almost thirty and I'm not very keen on relationships, they want me to find one and get married.

I'm European but I live in the most multi-cultural city in the world in North America. I know and met plenty of South Asians and the way the talked--or should I say, _not talked_ about sex, intimacy, etc. always confused me. The parents are even worse, they avoid and keep it as if its taboo, and shame their own people and even own children, and then randomly expect to arrange a marriage with who _they_ think suits their tastes. It sounds so toxic and like slavery. I would be miserable in that situation and very fortunate that my culture isn't like that, and more importantly, my parents being very progressive, liberating, and gave me freedom to explore, make mistakes, and discover what I like. It's a huge part of why I have a very healthy, active, and successful sex life as a guy when it comes with women, relationships, intimacy. I just wonder what South Asians, who are around the same age as me (in their 20s), are doing about this heavy burden and secrecy?

@@Kroitk it’s hell man I’m telling people will be in their 30s still virgins

@@Kroitk well I am 19 South Asian and honestly, I find it too suffocating. I was raised, learning thay wanting relationships, and desiring sex was a very bad thing. And when I learned that in the future my parents would make me marry someone of their taste and expect children from me, I was bamboozled. If that's the case, why deny all those desires now? Why not let us explore ourselves? There's nothing wrong in it, is there? I mean I have needs, desires, this is my life not theirs. I will do what I want to do. But unfortunately, such thinking has negative consequences where I live. No wonder the youth of our region settles abroad.

Can I have the text that was read in the video please?

right? I feel you especially

@Ivan The Terrible wrong. Sexual selection is what evolved us. Shame does nothing but regress us

me too

I feel it's bad since I young and God will be mad at me

@@vria-rem, As long as you're not doing something to hurt someone, God will not be angry. In fact, from what I've learned about him as a non-denominational Christian, he is very forgiving and the least judgemental person you could think of.

try hypnotherapy

The same here, I really know how that feels aswell

I second that - hypnotherapy

Me too

I had this as well, and physical therapy actually helped. There’s a doctor who helps you work out the muscles and stops the body from reacting the way it does right now

4 14 21 Hey Unio, I am happy for you. v

Love to you right back. 🙏🏻 Get out there and be your awesome self. Whatever that looks and feels like today.

❤

I'm sorry for anyone who has to go through it.

Gay people always need to be the victim when it’s really as simple as people suffering is shitty in general. You’ll never get anyone on your side trying to dick measure suffering.

@@shineayandrews1869 While I agree that it shouldn't be a competition in terms of who's suffering more, growing up gay does come with its own unique challenges. Gay sex/love isn't just something society frowns upon, it's often completely vilified, and can lead to deep, long lasting self-hatred, even if not directly by one's parents. In media, gay people are made to be the butt of the joke or portrayed as villainous/promiscuous, and in real life for example--especially in grade school--you'll often hear people label things they don't like as "gay." This is a situation where, if you don't have the lived experience, you'll never truly be able to understand what a particular group of people go through. Another example of this would be the fact that I'm white, so I'll never truly understand the lived experience of someone who is black or asian, but although I can't directly know, I can still empathize, and try to better understand by listening to their unique perspective. You're right though, life itself is full of suffering for everyone for many different reasons, but reducing someone's suffering because you don't personally empathize with it is kinda shitty. Everyone should all just be kind to each other because suffering is relative. This isn't meant to attack you, just offering another perspective. Hope you're having a good day!

@@DoomStarRequiem I'm sorry your self confidence is so low you feel threaten by love between two individuals. Your are shackled by the chains of gender binary, while we are born free from it and forged by our trials. If disgust is what you see when seeing us, I feel pity for your eyes and heart, because we are eternally beautiful and strong

I like both but prefer men so i identify as straight. But i was raised to wait till marrige, almost 24 n virgin. Im now athiest n i dont feel bad at all for wanting it. Even before i embraced it but would feel not good enough n disgusting to "god". Luckily im free n will do me, i just know i personally have to be in love n trust the person for intercourse tho

YO your mom needs to chill!

jesus... im sorry girl. i can relate. hope you heal.

You didn’t deserve that

Well said.

What doesn't ?

Yes, I agree with you. I would like to add that I think it has a lot to do with our own sexual experiences, too.

It’s definitely the nature and nurture theory

@@willofm That can be such a conundrum, can't it? I took a Cognitive Psychology class my Jr. year in college. The Prof had the syllabus around "nature vs. nurture." Both arguments can be valid in a lot of different scenarios and ways. 🙂

AND religion

What a nice way to disregard the video and the problem.

@@BonShula Problems are just part of the me story. Without them we would not be.

@@yoso585 Yes, but it is still weak to say "everyone has problems" when in reality we can fix the problems to some degree.

yes 100%

Why?

@@victoriafernandes0703 this is just probably one part of it, but some men feel like they can never be what's in the videos they watch. Even though half of that s*** is fake and anything that you would see in an amateur video is more realistic of what sex is between two partners than any other professional video out there. Another words if you ever sent any form of having to point at all, real face between real human beings were interested in each other typically are messy and sloppy. Both of them. But some people expecting to do the same way it does in porn.

@@HK47_115 Like any other genre of fictional movie, just because there are live actors doesn't mean the stunts are realistic.

@@victoriafernandes0703 Masturbation can fall under the category of sex, many people use porn to help them masturbate. I'm by no means a purist or a sex therapist, and don't think people should avoid porn, but sex in and of itself is already complicated as it is because there are so many parameters/variables involved. Add pornography into the mix, and it sends sex even further down another level of complication. Especially if peoples first sexual experience involved pornography, their views on actual sex can be warped. This warped expectation on what sex is can at worst lead to very unfulfilling/traumatic experiences for those involved. The limitless amount of content that is at hand also adds to the complexity. Many websites provide the viewer with curated experiences that gives a sense of connection/interaction, but at the end of the day people are still having sex with a screen. Again, i'm not condemning porn, sex workers, or people who watch porn. These are just my non-sex therapist opinions and I do not have a degree in psychology.

@@dktoString frankly ive been to therapy (not sex therapy tho) and it helped me tremendously. It changed my life.

@@dktoString You don't keep seeing a doctor once you're over the condition that caused you to seek medical help in the first place. Discontinuing therapy because it was successful is appropriate to do. You may know people who were helped by therapy that never discuss it because it's private to them. People love to complain when something doesn't work but rarely make a fuss when it does work.

@@dktoString I’ve been in therapy for a long time. Here’s what I’ve learned: It’s a relationship. You have to put in the effort for it to work. If you are not willing to meet the therapist in the middle and complain on how unhelpful they were, any therapist you go to with that mindset will just keep reinforcing that belief. It’s work. You open up and tackle issues little by little. It’s hard to be honest and vulnerable. But that’s where the results are. 3-5 sessions and then quitting are not going to be fruitful. It’s a year, years, life long process. The first handful of therapists you see may not be a good fit for you. You have to date around. Quitting before finding a good fit is another thing I’ve seen that reinforces the belief that therapists are quacks/hacks and your better off without. It’s like trying on three pairs of dress shoes you need for work or an event, those 3 just happen to not fit you, and saying “I give up on ever dining the right shoes and I just won’t go to the event.” It’s not for everyone. Not everyone has the privilege of time to spend in therapy and /or money to pay for it. Some will try to push through and they find that it just doesn’t help them, and look for other methods. It’s patience. It’s not a “cure.” It’s an evolution to a better more peaceful you. A you that is not acting out the same behaviors and ideas that have been hurting you. If you can take the plunge, go for it! It will change you. That’s kind of the point! If you go in with an open mind, you’ll reap the rewards.

You're envious of them because now we are they 2 degree comfortable with themselves to say f*** it and do it anyways, what do go after what they want because they want its don't typically think twice. Typically because they're already used to it and have already ripped off the bandito fiery confusion on their sexuality. Yes they might still have problems trying to develop relationships in their own issues. But in a certain part of himself they're more comfortable. Or just don't care

Promiscuos people are not happy in sex. Most of the times, they have emocional issues.

The grass is always green on the other side.

@@HK47_115 your grammar is awful.

No worries. You are safe from STDs.

It’s perfect for the subject.

Absolutely beautiful

I love all the fish 🐠

To be honest I hate it .

That's rough. Especially being at the age when that is the main thing on most people's brains. I don't know why or how she said that, or what was in her mind. But that's on her. The only thing I'll say is, I asked my boyfriend to stop using "hot" all the time. Like for my sister, or friend or coworker. Nothing wrong with the word itself. I just feel like there are soooo many words to describe attractiveness that you don't always need to use it. But it's totally fine otherwise. Just don't call your gf's friends, sisters, or co-workers "hot." I guess to me it implies wanting to have sex with someone. So it's a bit insensitive to use about like your partner's sibling or friend. Otherwise, go for it!

@@JLakis I agree lol, and that's probably what she was trying to teach me, but I was kid with generalized anxiety and social anxiety, so it just stuck on guess lol

@@flightlessagbsls To reprimand without explanation causes the child to fill in the blanks...mainly that the child is bad not the use of their language. Couple the action with rage, you have the making of trauma.

@@flightlessagbsls To reprimand without explanation causes the child to fill in the blanks...mainly that the child is bad not the use of their language. Couple the action with rage, you have the making of trauma.

@@aking3624 I don't remember if she did or not, and it wasn't rage so much as anxiety, which both my mom and dad also have lol

Don't worry, you don't need to lose it. You're perfect being the virgin that you are.

As muslims we should wait until marriage ,stay strong .and as a female too, i m hypersexual

agreed!

The “sexual revolution” has been a complete disaster for humanity.

That's fucked up 🤬

My mom tried to gaslight me into thinking it wasn't actually my period when I got mine.

Very well said!!

Exactly. I have shame of my sexuality precisely because I was raised in a religious family. I'm a guy and it's hard for me, but it's even worse for women. I hope they find healing, they all deserve better and to be accepting of themselves.

I agree the religion spreads a moral philosophy that fails to acknowledge nature. It represses basic libido and desire, calling it a demon. Now, at the turning of the Aeon, the Christian barriers on sex drop because they cannot suppress this forever. They call the modern world "evil and degenerate" yet they provide no moral structure that one can operate in today.

That sucks. As guy i as well have some shame about sex and masturbation my parents religious

You deserved to be loved and accepted, wether u have sex before marriage or not. Knowing that you and your partner are sexually compatible before making the lifelong commitment of marriage is so important. You don’t deserve to be shamed upon, I’m proud of you❤️

I'm so sorry. As someone who grew up with sexual shame, I can promise you it gets better. You have to work at it though. Going to therapy is helpful. And exposing yourself to sexual activities can really help, such as reading erotica, watching content, playing with toys/self, listening to guided meditation, reading others' experiences, writing your own erotica, etc. Just make sure the sources are healthy and realistic, and not extreme, judgemental or attached to violence or triggering elements. Be consistent, but don't force yourself to do anything you don't like. If you must cry after a session, go ahead and let yourself cry. If you feel bad after indulging, let yourself feel bad, and then counter those thoughts with positive affirmations and tell yourself you're proud for trying, even when it sucks. Good luck, I promise you can get through this ❤

Creamicems thank you for the advice, I'll definitely implement it!

​@@ulusxs1096 No, it's not. You don't need to be """sexually compatible""" with your partner, you need to have sex with your partner.

Ew

You don't need sex to be a functional adult

You're a well-raised person

You can heal even though it's tough. Feeling guilt about your sexual desire is not a good thing.

​@@prata9740You are a fox who has lost his tail and is telling others to cut off their tails. I know your tricks, I've seen them before. I just hope I can save others from your life-denying beliefs.

​@@NoKidsNoProblemAgreed it is completely natural and any guilt surrounding the natural sex instinct is evil and a form of control.

@@spiderbat8061 exactly!

You didn't deserve that. Wishing you healing and a better future!

As A heterosexual Person I Also Feel Bad For You A Woman ( Any Sexual Orientation) Is Not A Mystery To Be Kept Hidden, Suppressed, under veils or As An Object or toy who is owned by an owner (Man) under disguise of Future Husband A Lot Of Cultures And Religions Deliberately developed a system which prohibits Women from Doing 'Normal Everyday Things ' on their own unless in charge under male guardian e.g.Women Shamed For Proposing, confessing or initiating a move or even paying bills. Sport games.Her Right to fulfill her Female Sexual Desires on her own , In Japan also Male monks had Gay - Intimacies but Female monks or ascetics anywhere in Asia were Not allowed to Have feelings of even emotional attachment , forget abt homosexual or even heterosexual relations,etc.Female monks were Forced to be Celibate as a rule and those who aren't such ascetic women will have to get married to future husband which makes her complete as a 'WOMAN'

I mean you shouldn't be watching "corn" if you are not over 18 in the first place. If my parents found out I even watched any kind they would beat the sht out of me. Well hope you are doing better.

That sucks. As guy i wish more girls, women will lesbians, bisexuals or just focus on themselves instead of reproduce and being in relationships with men. Men just seems nasty. And i wish once i will have some female friends only

You didn't deserve that, I'm sorry to hear.

Turn off the lights

How old r u

@@emon3791 Don't answer questions like this @Millie....

You may be asexual, which is totally valid. Some people never desire sex and that's fine - worth looking into if it's something that's bothering you :)

@@Ancientlaws why

Do you have vaginismus?

I disagree

@@Madsovic999 dear Madsovic999, With all of my regret, I have to disagree with your disagreement. Well, you see, I just don't find your opinion on this matter correct. With all regards, Mars Driver. Dude, at least say why you are disagreeing lol

Law of correspondence ❤

I think that these days suffering of the "victims" of sexual harassment tend to be exaggerated compared to the suffering of those who are not allowed to express themselves sexually.

It's not helpful at all, not for me at least. Sex is gross

​@@prata9740 The thing that made you alive is gross? If that's the case then go under.

@@spiderbat8061 How do you know that "sex" made me alive? I could have been brought here by artificial insemination. And even if "sex" brought me here, i simply have no obligation to be positive about it. Sex is gross to me, and it will always be. Also, what exactly do you mean by "go under"? English is not my first language, so i don't know a few expressions.

@@prata9740 I've never been one for artificial means. I do not believe in devaluing the body. Why exactly do you find a basic function in all mammals gross? Do you have a personal experience that made you believe this?

@@spiderbat8061 "Why exactly do you find a basic function in all mammals gross?" To be fair.... a lot of basic things humans and animals in general do are gross, like pooping and peeing. I have no personal experience, i simply hate it because it is completely natural to hate it.

U will find someone else, better, and the Best way to lose the weight..is a lot of sexual activity! The alcohol will numb your whole body, so best to cut down on it.

But, I love alcohol. I'm like a chocoholic, except for booze.

Very well put!

Are you defending casual sex and sugar coating the hollowness of it or are you talking about a monogamous relationship?

A lot of toxicity from communities religious groups and culture

@@mzee5533 Not exhibiting infidelity and prostitution has nothing to do with one's religious belief.

Yeah, I totally agree.

Maybe they can make an more in-depth video for that. I think this video mainly referred to the positive areas of sex. However, I agree with you, abuse and such do need to be talked about.

@@TheScarletteWhisper I know what you mean, I just feel like a more appropriate title for this video would be "Overcoming the Shame of Sexual Desire", because its not really about 'overcoming sexual shame', just one small element of it... I think probably 80% of females have had some time of sexual manipulation/forceful/unwanted situation happen, & I guess I was just surprised they would pick this title and not touch on it... I understand the video would be helpful for many, but I hope they would consider a title change...

Agreed, this is desire based, not the kind of shame other people put on you.

Why do you think females are more often victims of gaslighting than males?

Sex is gross if you are doing it as a child or with several people. It just is.

@@dktoString So what if its fake? The way it made me feel wasn't fake

That's called being Catholic.

If that makes you feel better, be aware that you act like all the women I ever had sex with. As I wrote above in a different thread, the collective lie that "everyone is sexually liberated" only ensures that everybody remains miserable. People should know better than to lie in order to defend their idealization of how things should be. Alain de Botton is no exception...

Make it a lights out policy, maybe a flickering candle. Don't get drunk, but maybe half a glass of wine. Extensive petting, kissing with no words. Make him relax you. Watch a movie first, small meal. Don't make rules, just say what mood you need to get into.

I'm not a sex doctor, more of a sex tech.

Realizing it is a good start! And seeking out advice is a good way to go. Good luck!

I agree with you completely!

That is their Will, but if someone decides to only use sex to hurt others and not experience love, they are cutting off a part of themselves.

No thank you. I really don't want to talk about gross things like that as something normal

@prata9740 sex isn't gross. It's natural. By saying it's gross, you're sharing an opinion and one that's formed from a bias. Everything I've stated are just facts. If facts bother you, you need to look inward as to why. I do not say any of this with any mean intentions. The facts are just as normal as two people having sex.

@@AKNeal81 It is gross! I don't give a shit if you or most people consider this stupidity "natural" that doesn't make it any less gross, in theory: poop is also natural but still gross. Sorry if i don't want to talk about people rubbing their bodies into each other, penises or vaginas during my dinner time, just like I don't wanna talk about poop. But well... The difference here is just that everybody needs to poop, but nobody needs to have sex, get over it! You won't die from not having sex or from not talking about it. And you have no right to judge my opinion, it's not formed from a bias, it's a legit and valid opinion. This is not normal to me and it will never be, you have absolutely no right to try to force this shit to me as "normal" I HATE IT! Accept it!

​@@AKNeal81'sex isn't gross' is also an opinion.

To some, it may be something uncomfortable to talk about because it's the most private, intimate, and sensitive part of their lives.

Sexual shaming contributing to lower birth rates isn’t dawning on anyone.

Easier said than done, my friend. 💔

Yeah... I liked this one better : en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Satanic_Bible

You don't make any sense. If my religion says you can't have sex before say age 25, doesn't sexual liberation go completely against the fact?

Women are still shamed??

@@milkhomie4582 You asked a question like a statement

@@ren.8137 it is a statement. the questionmarks are because the og comment implied that its different for women todays. theres no problem making a statemnt and adding questionmarks if youre not to dense to undersytand what the questionmarlks are for.

Being introverted, i feel like broken inside.

@@emon3791 don't dude.

I completely get that. Especially not being able to talk to close friends about it. My cultural background is also Conservative and sex is only ever discussed as something you should avoid at all costs until marriage (eye roll). My shame came from upbringing and and highschool trauma regarding 'purity', sexual abuse and 'sexism'. Narratives about the female body and absolutely no mention of the importance and existence of female sexuality make it so difficult to acknowledge this part of human life... That it's important to enjoy sex and prioritise your own pleasure. That it's not just for men. And enjoying it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you but rather, that you're a human being. Therapy and self love/ self reflection on whether I value myself really helped. Life's too short to not enjoy and appreciate every facet of human interaction and pleasure.

@@nimblewaffle240 well said

You made a great start in talking about it now. I thought back at my first sexual experiences and realized it started with exploring my own body and be curious. Now I realize how important it is to get to know yourself and enjoy your own touch. That can be a mix of all kinds of touch you like wherever you like it and you can freely think about anything you like. That is actually sex. So getting close to that is not so far away than you might think. For sex with someone else I can recommend to wait until you meet someone you trust and with whom it's fun with and of course consentual. Curiousity about each other and actually liking to explore each other is basis there. Sex while loving each other is at least how I felt it, a whole different dimension. If it is without love and "just for fun" make sure both are not in love. Otherwise it breaks one's heart. I hope that helped?

@@sandra8991 that was helpful thanks :)

@@Major_Rain :-) 🌸

I don't want to have sex

Shame is useful and necessary at times

@@fluffehsquirrel1860 only to an extent. When people shame others for something they didn't choose and cannot change, it can push them to suicide. That is where it is futile.

I wanna talk to my parents about it, even though I'm 22, I can't have a romantic relationship because I am scared of sex, I feel like I would be disappointing them and disappointing God. I talked to my therapist about it and he encouraged me to talk to my parents about it, but I am too ashamed.

@@AnaLu07 Shame doesn't like the light of truth, because the light is where it dies. Do your parents love you?

That sounds bad, but there is nothing wrong with being sexual with a romantic partner. It is natural in all humans. Your mother degraded herself to have you and yet she cast stones.

i realized i was bisexual at 10 (ive always been bi but didnt know that a girl could like a girl till then) and i feel the same. its getting better for me though. what kind of environment did you grow up in..?

They were teaching you how to love yourself, and others in a healthy way. Your thoughts are not something to be ashamed of. Shame is a byproduct of pride. You should have humility in your self restraint and self control. Many religious communities do not place enough emphasis on humility over the virtue of self control and self discipline, and they let their pride in that get the best of them, resulting in the hostile environment you experienced. It is NOT fair what you went through, and you're valid in your feelings against those who taught you shame for your thoughts and desires. I hope you find your way back and learn that it wasn't you who was wrong for having sinful thoughts, but they who were wrong to be so proud and to project shame and guilt onto you. God made us to feel these sexual things and use them as motivation to love one another. He wishes for us to celebrate them and embrace them in a loving relationship where we put God, and then our partner, before our own desires. He doesn't want us to deny our desires and repress them - but to have mastery over them so we are not a slave to them.

My friend you do have a problem and you should talk to a therapist about it :)

The problem Garry is that sometimes, if you're not asexual, its not really up to us to choose, maybe closing yourself is going to make you feel more pain, I'm going through the same thing, I'm 21 years old, still a virgin, never even kissed, my parents were overly religious, I never had any conversation with them about sex, I feel like a piece of shit everyday, and I feel like everyone is better and happier than me, I've been going to therapy for around 2 months now, I just learned that feeling like this is not my fault, can you believe that? i always thought I was sinful and ugly, and now I know its not my fault to feel this way! but i still feel it, I still have to fix it, but therapy has been the best processes for me, even though in the first month it felt like nothing was changing. all i'm saying is, I feel your pain, I know it, the best thing for me until this day was the Search for help, I recommend that to you, trust me, do it for yourself, you deserve it.

@@jplayerfg I don't deserve anything.

@@disaffectedmale Hey man, How are you feeling now, that this time has passed?

Everyone who wants deserves sex and there is something wrong with the society that refuses to deal seriously with the problem that some people are rejected the satisfaction of their most basic natural desire just because of someting they cannot change - such a physical looks.