Preach!!

The brother (black guy) was the only one who brought up the parents expectations on their kids. 3:10

I’m autistic and sadly one of my tendencies is perfectionism. My brain says ‘ if it’s not perfect it’s not good it’s not worth it. Everything must be perfect and according to plan ‘ through therapy I’ve gotten better.

​​@Taylor Monte Except, that isn't true, is it? Where exactly do you think their need to strive for perfectionism comes from? You can't ignore environment in your make up, it's as much a part of you as your genetics.

@Taylor Monte upbringings plays a big role for example if a child is raised in Christ to know the word of God that says we are to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ mental thoughts that lead to depression dont stand a chance. And parents idolize sports and perfection from their kids feeding that expectation towards them all the time. Im not saying it every case but a lack of Christian values because we go to church but we live as the world worship things of the world thats how we teach our kids, never goes well most times.

Completely agree!!!!

Yep, life is not about what you accomplish but what you overcome. Our society is obsessed with validation of success through status. Our culture insists on condemning failure. WRONG! Embrace failure, have plenty of failure. How do you conquer failure if you have no experience with it? Get so good at failure that you can laugh at it. Then you've won because you no longer fear it!

ALLOW YOURSELF TO MAKE A FEW MISTAKES ONCE AN WHILE BUT ALSO LEARN FROM THEM AN HOW TO GET PAST THEM🙂

Super Amen! Very well said.

Well said. Perfectionism can have a dark side for some

thats the thing that they are saying though it doesnt matter how much counslers there are, these kids are to pressured into being perfect by themselves so they would never see a psycologist in the first place even if there was 100 of them availble. trust me i know im a perfectionist and i would feel my reputation would be ruined not because I feel weak but because other people see you as weak and thats an unfortunate fact.

Pushing drugs is a disaster..these are toxic chemicals that actually cause suicide...

​@@Bambotb psychologists (the majority) don't have the ability to prescribe medication.

Yes, I completely agree. We need to stop having our number 1 goal being success.

Learn how to get off that ladder when it's over and start doing something else.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that and you can now talk about it. Thank you for the comment, it might save a life.

@@o.amoakohene8147 easier said than done

@@o.amoakohene8147 sometimes you’ve been gassed up by your parents or peers for superficial goals like captain of the team, AB Honor Roll, acceptance in college. When your self worth is wrapped up in accolades and all you’ve been subconsciously taught from your parental interactions that You receive love when you make them look good and your parents are successful and NEVER talk about their struggles or what tools they use to get through a tough time, it can be completely debilitating when up against challenging emotions while never understand that others have experienced them too. You automatically resort to thinking somethings wrong with you and that you couldn’t possibly come out on the other side of it. When reality TV first got popular they talked about how LOW some people felt after the cameras leave from following them around. I’m assuming it would feel something like what the OP spoke of.

Bravo! Well said. Thank you. Blessed Be 🙌

But it is a condition abot how u feelin. Pressure, prefectism, exhaustion, criticism, pain in the heart n mind. The parents mention these issues.It's just not a chemical in the brain. Wen u r feelin this way depressed, of course it affects u brain n body, it affects u mental health.

It's a chemical imbalance, they really don't know when to someone it goes burzek on other while it does NOTHING ON OTHER .It's stiil a MYSTERY 🙄🙄🙄

Takes more than DNA donors to successfully create an intelligent, adaptive, and aware human being. Lots of talk about how their children succeeded, but was the prize only more stress for them to achieve loftier goals? Stress from one's environment leads to very poor diet, very poor balance of all your body's functions, including the brain. Hence, so many "antidepressants" etc on the market at prices higher than gold, prescribed by doctors visited regularly by either a very intelligent woman, dressed straight out of Elle, bringing lunch from the most posh restaurant in whatever town. Something else to consider: read the manufacturers literature. That's online now. You will, majority of the time, find a description of the medication's biochemical interactions, ending with the line.......through a process not fully understood. Experience: 30+ years of being able to work, own a home, raise a great son because the second doctor i saw decades ago, understood that and we would keep experimenting, 6 months at a time until WE found what worked.

And yet there were no red flags.

He really struck a cord with that one. Very powerful words he said.

@@DaMushroomBit Platform

I am so sorry to hear about your struggle.

Matthew 11:28-30 *Jesus said:* [28] Come to *Me,* all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. [29] Take *My* yoke upon you and learn from *Me,* for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. [30] For *My* yoke is easy and *My* burden is light.

@@juanitamullen1949 My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. May your memories of her be a blessing. I can not imagine your pain. Take care of yourself.

Keep getting her help. Our cousin succeeded on her 4th attempt. She had just graduated high school the week before.

For everyone here who’s lost someone by suicide, I’m so very sorry. 😢 May you have strength to move forward in life and use your unbearable tragedies to help in one way or another. 💝 Sending comfort and love.

If you can, try to relate to him by bringing up your dark moments you overcame. My parents had the mental health talk and it made me feel more alone and like a freak.

@@brieb4317 maybe it's the way they said it, if in a judging tone...But they do really need to talk about it❤️ I struggled with depression in my teens and 20s and my mom was completely aloof

@@komrad7907 I didn’t say for them not to talk about it….

@@brieb4317 ahh I see 😔

@@browncatwithblurredbackgro2461 Yep. Just what I'm sayin', let's get over the old tired social stigmas. We have to see that we are ALL on the scale of mental health. 😎

I agree with that and Being on social media like Facebook or Twitter or Instagram and Tiktok ain't helping your protecting your mental health either its destroying your mental health but by staying off them social media can have positive effects on mental health cause your not seeing the all the negative things on their and making you depressed or worried on how you look everything just go for a walk or listen to music that can ease the mind and always talk to someone about anything especially your parents or grandparents or a trusted friend who you can trust

It’s ridiculous how we worked and paid taxes and yet when your child has a mental breakdown there is no help…I had to take mine to Mexico…cause here is so expensive …

We need better mental health options for everyone.

OMG. I am so sorry for your loss.

@@heatherlane8532 Bless you Heather!

So sorry for your loss!

@@changeme8035 thank you

Oh wow, I’m a Fordham Alumni..sending condolences your way

Amazing and strong woman you are. I wish all the best for you in your life and future endeavors 💝

Thank-you for your honesty. I hope you find ease to all the pressure.

18 to 21 are such hard years so many changes

Absolutely, you can’t live for others you can only live for you and God. You are a strong person

You sound like my daughter 😔Love & light to you my dear. ❣️❣️❣️

Mental health needs to be addressed when a child is young because it is just what it says, healthy thinking. Teaching children to look at the world in a helpful way when they are young helps to insulate them in the future. It also is often reflected in physical health.

@@deepattison9329 yes agreed

Amen and I too struggle. Sometimes it can get worse with age. I know my hope and help lies with Jesus Christ.

Indeed and so true.

Yes , suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When I get those evil thoughs my solution is to read my Bible specially Ps 91 OVER & OVER & PERSONALIZED IT TO MYSELF 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

I love your awesome mom. That was what i needed from my mom too but sadly mine is not like that and mostly its been hard but you are so right it's all temporary.

I know you mean well but sadly not all illnesses are treatable and not everyone will be happy if they are forced to stay alive there are absolutely HORRIBLE untreatable illnesses out there that can sadly make a persons entire life torture they are more rare but they exist not everyone will be happy to be alive some people who end up with these horrendous diseases need assisted suicide. I agree that everyone should try and get help and the majority of people can get help and there life can get better but it's important to realize not everyones can sadly :(

Brilliant explanation - what got me through was a couple of real friends

It's true. I've been in hospital after being revived from a suicide attempt. I shouldn't be here but I am. You know what I learned the most from it? Depression hits all walks of life. I met a wealthy business man in the psych ward, a returned Mormon missionary( in fact, a lot of Mormon people were in there) a pre school teacher, a gifted painter and so many more. Depression doesn't care about who you are, its a chemical issue--period. Doesn't matter how successful you are, it'll get you.

I love your explanation of this. It’s exactly that!

@@Elegant_Sausage Although you are correct that it is a chemical issue you can recover from it. Life can go on and you need to learn what you are really on earth to do. One thing that sometimes helps is getting closer to nature and studying it. You must celebrate the pain of living and not run away from it.

@@deepattison9329 I understand you want to help but this is the point I was trying to make about people not understanding. When you have depression real depression you can't just go out and feel better. Believe me we don't take these choices lightly. It's akin to weathering a storm when you are in it it's all you see. You can't just rationalize it away. Each person has to find their answer to cope. Sometimes you just need a person that is just willing to listen without giving an opinion on how to fix your problem. Just listen without judgement. When they are ready to talk.

However, recognizing problems and finding ways to address them is the job of the universities. Instructors and coaches often can see when a young person is pushing too hard. There is an implied mentoring in those relationships which helps protect young learners.

I in no way want to put blame on the parents. (This can happened to anyone) but, hearing the familes call the kids "Rockstars" and say things like "they could have done anything, they were stars". That let's me know exactly the pressure that these kids felt. Even in death they are still being overshadowed by their athleticism.

@@breezeh1127 Yup.

What Katie's parents are proposing is an opt-in program where the student chooses a "Designated Advocate", i.e., someone they trust, that the university would share information with in certain events (e.g., Academic Probation, Disciplinary Action, etc.). This gives the students the CHOICE of who information is shared with, or if it's shared with anyone at all. The university wouldn't be sharing information all willy-nilly. The Meyers have brought this initiative before the NCAA and have gotten very positive feedback so far. It's called Katie's Save - a fitting name given her position on the soccer field.

Not only social media but our MEDIA, and our hateful political environment incited by our so called leaders is a disgrace. People are being pushed into identity groups and encouraged to fight and hate each other.

@@tubester4567 Your thinking is both brilliant & true. You put it so very well. 😪

Add to that the pressure of politics in schools... When I was in college, in the 80s too, politics generally took a back seat to learning.

This! A lot of people say don’t blame the parents but a lot of times they are a part of it. Parents are the types to put so much pressure on their kids and they don’t even realize it, and then once the unimaginable happens they are wondering why. My mom would always mention my weight and eating habits (I was never overweight to begin with) and then she is shocked when she finds out I have a severe eating disorder. Like how are you shocked?

Sometimes it doesn't pass for so long it feels like it won't.

This too shall pass, and we'll all pass. Death is inevitable.

I know exactly what you mean but it is worth it when it succeeds.

I'm glad that you are still here and that you have a dr to work with you. 🙏🏾❤

I understand and I am 55 as well and struggled and still struggling with mental health. I pray you are doing OK today, Christina. Please stop watching the news as much as possible. Read your bible and pray. That is what has help and is truly the ONLY hope for us all. The bible warned over and over again what will be happening in these last days, but there is hope in Jesus Christ. Cast your cares upon him because he loves and cares for you. 2 Corinthians 10:5-6 "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled." Philippians 4:8 kjv “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” 1 Peter 5:6-10 6. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 7. Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 8. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 9. Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. 10. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

It's both, but what they didn't mention it that it's NOT real life.

Childhood sexual abuse destroys lives.

Its easy to blame mental health on lifes problems I find it hard to believe that so many people are just mentally ill. I think there is something going on in our culture thats shifting and not in a good way. Look at what people find acceptable today that even 10 years ago were unthinkable. Look at how our culture demonizes what is right and glorifies what is wrong. Why are so many kids becoming Trans that if they were taken out of public school and brought up in a normal environment wouldnt even think about it.

@@jamesolson7179 basically you're saying that if everyone believed like you, everything would be fine.

@@davidgordon7673 agreed

But only in America mental illness people's commit suicide why?

Know GOD Know Life No GOD No Life

So what came next?

@@See-if_I_care I lived to raise my twin daughters, seen them grow into talented beautiful young ladies and mothers, them giving me 6 beautiful grandchildren. I reunited with my first husband after 25 years and we were together 18 years before his death, and I lived to see my mother die of old age. Yes, there have been many down times, but the good far out weighted the bad. And the rest is a mystery, I can’t wait to see how it turns out!!! Just kidding, just taking life as it comes now, I do like to watch a good mystery unfold though.

I know what you mean mate

Hi Ryan. Have you ever spoken to anyone about how you feel? I'm praying for you.

Hang on. This too shall pass.

Never give up. May Jesus Christ comfort, heal and strengthen you always.❤️

Sending you love ❤️ hang in there

i think that's the best thing u did mom. Prayers to your family.

I’m so very sorry for your loss-I’m part of this club as well Bradley Austin Joiner 7/31/1993-7/2/2019. Suicide-it’s so hard to understand.

I'm so sorry for the lost of your beautiful daughter.

@@skjoiner1234 My condolences to you and your family on your lost of your son.

Donnie, the parents, except for the cheerleaders father, have accepted their part in pressuring their kids. Sports are not for fun anymore. Sports are about always winning and getting college scholarships. Club sports need to be shut down.

You are so right! And while you are racking up that huge debt, there is not even a guarantee that you will get a good job today! College is a joke if you ask me. And they certainly don't want to deal with anyone depression!

Go to community college. It’s way better. Professors care more and they have more resources available for free!

@@sunnytheboxer. I did a year at community college then transferred in. That was the deal they gave me. It’s called a “conditional acceptance” allowing me to go somewhere else then transfer to the university. I am planning on going back to school, but it was overall too traumatizing. I’m gonna take my time☺️

@@AnnaThe54 go back girl! Just do as many credits as you can at community. That’s what I’m doing. Makes no sense for me to transfer early just to pay for classes when I could take them at community college and get paid to take them!! I get a few thousand dollars a semester just for passing.

Really?? How do you get paid for that? Would be useful to make money off the thing that takes up most of my time, rather than having to fit multiple jobs into the only time I have left…so that I can pay to do that schoolwork instead lol

@coolstuffaboutlife please know nothing stays the same - things will get better - usually when you least expect it. It’s around the corner. I remember that’s how I felt when I was 21 and now I have the best life I could wish for. Sending you a big giant hug 🤗 x

@@lyng340 my life is just hard

@@lyng340 I was even considering suicide

44 and same. At 21 i was the itsy bitsy spider still trying. I must say i have a better sound mind than i did at 22 or 30.

@@serenity2655 yeah just my life sucks. Too much pain and depression

I see that as just feeling down about something, you're sad for a while but know you'll be fine when life's problems are dealt with, with real depression meds & therapy are a must, some are able to stop the meds and they're fine, for others(like myself) I'll needs meds the rest of my life.

Elizabeth, you have no idea what your talking about. there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance. it was made up by psychiatry and big pharma. whoever told you that are telling you BS. there is no test available to measure neurotransmitter levels in a living human brain. Go ask your doctor to measure your brain chemicals to see if you have an imbalance. they won’t know what to say because they can’t test them.

but it stems from the parents

@@kirstieb8025 what stems from the parents?

don’t let them go on any psych meds and they will be okay.

it’s good that you notice that. NEVER say be strong, you’ll get through it. you need to listen and validate what they re feeling and not fix it. they need to help themselves.

I am so sorry 😞.