i've been natural for so many years you'd think I'd be at a better place with my hair.. i'm not lol but i'm learning how to love it in its natural shrunken state, no slicked edges or nothing.. the bar for black women to upkeep their natural hair when we've just been learning how to do it in the past decade is too damn high. If you see a black girl and her hair is not "laid".. leave that damn girl alone please. I am her, she is me.

The words of the dean, " your hair can FEEL that you hate it..." so deep, so true and so wise.

I wish black men did a better job at uplifting dark skin women with type 4 hair. Y'all are legitimately Gorgeous and I hope one day we as a collective of black men can love y'all the way we're supposed to. I'm glad yall found a safe haven where y'all can uplift each other. Much love to all of you.

what helped me love my 4c hair is realizing that the only reason why it seemed "hard" to take care of was because i was trying to make it fit in with society's ideal hair type (straight). if 4c hair was the standard of beauty, straight-haired people would go through the same hell that black women go through to make their hair the standard. i also stopped trying to fit in with eurocentric standards of beauty in general, since i'm black. society might not like my hair, but that doesn't mean i have to hate it either. i'm not gon lie, sometimes it's hard. but i tell myself the same thing you told yourself: i'm not gonna let white supremacy make me look down on myself and my blackness. i love this video and how vulnerable you are. i'm glad i subscribed to you. :)

I got rid of wigs lol. When other people with looser textures have a bad hair day they just rock it and keep it moving. I’m working on accepting myself in my natural state. I really like this video

This video is so powerful. So many of us have/are currently going through this journey of loving our hair because we were raised to see it as something that is unmanageable, difficult and unprofessional. My biggest tip - wear it. Keep wearing it. Eventually you will start to see the beauty it in.

As a black girl with 4c, i feel like the world has told us we arent good enough. I'm sorry to say, but so many black women wear wigs and fake hair or texlax their edges. That still shows that we as a community still don't love ourselves. I wish i could see more black girls with 4c styles and not these wigs and tons of fake hair taking out their edges. We have to step up. US. No one in the media is going up step up for us

“Your hair can feel that you hate it” I needed to hear every single word in this video but that struck me immediately. What a perfect video to find on my wash day. Thank you so much for this.

You are not alone .. although I learned to love my 4c crown there are days I envy long straight beyond the shoulder styles …this too shall pass …stay encouraged

The script, emotion, openess. Truly an admirable and refreshing way that you have composed this love!

I had dreadlocks for 7 years and found the beauty in my hair only then. I didn't like the sleek look (I just felt too scalpy lol) with my locs and enjoyed how frizzy and thick it was. Fast forward to me combing them out and I have loved my hair even more. I think having locs for me gave me that realization that my hair is beautiful loose or locked in it's natural state.

It's so strange and yet comforting to find someone with the same inner monologue of what we go through on those difficult wash days and even more complicated styling days. This was beautiful. On my journey to love not only my hair but myself on a whole, I've been reminding myself that everything beautifully unique about myself has been pointed out in negative ways from people who are genuinely insecure and unhappy with themselves. Our haters always see the beauty in our differences before we do, you simply thank them and learn to see yourself from your own pov.

When you said what your former dean said to you I was like ‘yeeeeeeesssssss’ from the depths of my soul. I truly believe our hair feels and responds to the energy we give it. So much of the black woman experience has been about breaking us down and I think we have internalized so much of that hate and in turn projected it on the very parts of us that validate our blackness. So I speak to my hair, (I speak to my body too but that’s a whole other story) I use words that create love for myself to myself and I caress the parts of my body that were once points of self deprecation I.e my hair, tummy, thighs. You’re doing the Lord’s work sis. So rooting for you and sending you all the love and light🤎✨

Getting locs is what finally made me not be so frustrated with my hair

One thing I did and believe helped me love my hair was completely cutting out wigs, weaves and any form of hair extensions cuz that way I felt like my hair was all I had and it really helped me love and take better care of it. Your hair is beautiful.

For me, I came to the realization that is not the texture, it's the length. I don't hate the texture of my hair but I wish it was longer, like long...I haven't organized all my thoughts yet, so much to unpack but, something about long hair and femininity goes together in today's society My hair is thin so I really didn't have a hard time washing. We learn to love our features, to love our skin and all comes down to loving our race, however I feel like the love for our hair is a conversation about our own views of femininity, not necessarily beauty standards, in the end, I'm sure it's all connected but I can't help but notice that I do find beautiful women who are black and have 4c hair but it's usually long.. I find many black women beautiful, like stunning with long or short hair, natural or relaxed, with protective styles or not.. Like I said a lot to unpack. I'm going do crochet braids now because my hair broke off

As a 4c girl, I really appreciate this video. My mom put relaxers in my hair ever since I was young. Due to this, my hair was super damaged and would never grow past a certain length. It was breaking off so much everyday, and I wasn't happy with how it looked at all. Recently, I got so tired of it that I began wearing wigs and hair extensions, which I'd never done before. Truthfully, I hated it so much. It was so hot and uncomfortable wearing fake hair, and I was constantly worried about people judging me if my hair was not perfect. I was always worried about the tracks showing, or the hair looking too stiff, or the wig not sitting right, etc. It gave me a lot of anxiety and I just couldn't do it. A few months ago, I finally had enough and just cut off my hair. Up until that point, I had never seen my natural hair. I felt soo ugly at first when I saw my 4c hair. I had always admired long and straight hair, and mine was the exact opposite. I felt so many negative feelings about my hair texture, and I didn't even want to leave my house for a while. The beginning was really tough. But as time went on, my hair started growing SO MUCH MORE than it ever had before, and it was much stronger too. My hair has grown so much in just a few months, which really shocked me, and it looks really cute too! I am really starting to appreciate my natural hair. I am so glad that I took a stand against these ideas that made me feel like my hair wasn't good enough. It's time to start empowering girls with kinkier hair textures because we are cute and pretty!!! :)

This is how I feel rn ..the other day I wash my hair and it was time to twist and moisturizer I was so tired that I almost started crying

I just came on here to tell you that although I am Korean and do not share the same type of hair as you, your video and the message contained in it resonated very deeply with me. SO much POC insecurities are rooted in white supremacy, and your raw words and beautiful video really helped me on a night when I felt very insecure and not very beautiful. Thank you.

everytime a white person tells me "Oh!! I love your hair, it look so daamn good". Im like "thank you", but I cant believe it. Like how could he/she love my hair texture ?

this is so beautiful and RELATABLE!!! it’s hard when i constantly compare my hair to everyone else’s… love hate relationship

I have a looser curl texture (3C) but before I knew how to take care of I hated how frizzy it was. I got bullied in school because of my appearance, and my hair was one of the main targets. I relaxed my hair for years until it was so heat damaged it started to break off, and in a last attempt to save my hair by starting to do wash & go's and hair masks, I saw how bad it got. I was started comparing my hair to old pictures of my "ugly" hair that people bullied me for and saw how beautiful my curls were. Now after I big chopped and learned to take care of my hair I love it. It's never too late to learn to embrace your curls. Own it. Love it. Take care of it. And it will do the same for you :)

I’m 14 and for 4 years my hair was always straight when I was younger but now I love it and leave it out beautiful as can be, it’s now down almost to the middle of my back but it shrinks to my neck. I can embrace it now that I’ve seen your video it has really inspired me, thank you so much get through it girl I can see the strength you hold❤️❤️❤️❤️

Afro hair is so beautiful and it is sickening to know that as black children we are programed to believe it needs to be "tamed" in the eyes of our society's standard. Nothing we as afro people do about our hair will ever make us accepted and being okay with that is more important to teach. ✊🏽💞🙏🏽 #crownact

I really don’t feel like that with my hair. I don’t even blow drymy hair , I let my hair breathe. I don’t like the vocabulary used to describe 4C. “it’s too hard , takes time, so painful , break combs” whatever. It’s because you are trying to make it something else of what it’s not! I don’t say it’s easy but If you like your hair , let them be , listen to them and talk nicely to them. We’ve been brainwashed to think that our hair is disgusting and not feminine , appropriate and I’m so happy that each day I wake up , I wear it proudly and don’t even think of what other might think of my hair. Side note : I have a lot of shrinkage and I wear it like an Afro or two buns, that’s it! And I love my hair

For me I have been getting bored because I finally reached my goal of mid waist hair last year. And it still shrinks to my shoulders. I spent so much time being “perfect” to get to this goal, that I didn’t really get to explore with it. Now, I’m finally using color and I was so upset with the fact that I wanted another color because I thought I was betraying my hairs journey. But in time, I’ve realized I don’t need to impress anyone about how much I love my authentic self. My authentic self wants color because I like to see physical change to represent who I am growing into. So my hair has been red a couple months now and I love it. I’m not afraid to put in extension braids or twists or a wig because I still know who I am under all this. I just try to be good to my hair, and not let it control who I am growing into as a woman. It has relieved so much pressure I didn’t know I had in me. And she still growing y’all! Also mirror affirmations work for me. Out loud or in your head.

Wow. That’s a really awesome exercise - leaving you me hair in its shrunken state for a week to remind yourself what you hair “really” wants to do. 🙌🏾

Thank you for sharing! Up until a month ago I used to rotate hairstyles: from slicked back hair with ponytails that had a looser texture, to spring twists, faux locs and afro wigs. I rarely wore my natural hair free of extensions because I felt it wasn’t, “pretty”. And even though I would install styles and wigs that mimicked its texture, I only felt comfortable doing so because they were long or voluminous. I, unfortunately, had equated length and having loose curls with beauty As my 26th birthday approached I wanted to do something different. I wanted to wear my hair free of extensions - it felt important to do so. I remember asking God to give me the confidence to wear my hair in its natural state. A few days before my birthday I styled it in a wash-and-go. On the first day of wearing it outside I initially felt nervous, but shortly afterwards I felt so free. It was amazing. As I sat in the Uber with the window rolled down, I felt the wind through my hair and took a few selfies. I’ve been wearing wash-and-go’s for the past month and it has honestly been such an incredible feeling not having anything attached to my hair. It’s strange because 6 years ago I did the big chop to a little higher than scalp level, and it was the most confident I had ever felt, but overtime I let society dictate what is deemed beautiful I’m still learning to love my hair and I am so, so happy to be wearing it out free of extensions. It is honestly one of the best decisions I have ever made. In a year or so (maybe even sooner due to excitement) I’d like to have sisterlocks installed, or start traditional locs - it’s hard to decide because they’re both so beautiful 😂

I have been fully natural for almost 6 yrs. I have type 4 hair (not 4c), and I think type 4abc is the most beautiful and diverse. It can be a lot of maintenance, depending on what look you are trying to achieve, but it's worth it 🖤

I honestly think 4C hair is the most beautiful of all hair. It's literally a crown, so so amazing ❤️❤️

I struggled for years dealing withmy 4C hair. This self-hated of my hair is also from my family especially from my mother and her sister. I don't even to mention the pain. I'm only child with 4C hair. I guess my late Southern father was trying to remove the blackness by marrying my lighter skin, long, 3A hair mother. It didn't happen with me the oldest, but my sister and my late brother had curly/wavy hair. As time passes for me (I'm 54), I'm learning to love and embrace my 4C hair because it connects me to my ancestral motherland of Mama Africa, the thing in which white supremacy couldn't take away. 🙏❤

Thank you for this video...

I wish more people would talk about the reality of it taking hours upon hours to wash and style long, type 4 hair and how sometimes that aspect alone is reason enough to get a relaxer. I have 4b/c and I love my texture. I was natural for 5 years and learned how to take care of my hair and it was waist length. However it took me 7+ hours to do! I also have dandruff and need to wash my hair everyweek which is simply impossible for me to do with my hair in its natural state. I simply dont have the time to do that anymore so I got a relaxer. I'm in college and it drove me crazy how much TIME I was spending on my hair washing, detangling and twisting and it (even though i loved the way it looked). I just wish people talked about how not all black girls with type 4 hair that get a relaxer lack self love. Sometimes you simply dont have the time for it especially when your hair is long.

Never in my life have I related so much to a video about my 4c hair I almost cried during the video because I remember saying the exact same thing about my hair 'defying gravity' a few weeks ago. I feel so good to know that I am not the only one with these thoughts thank you for this wonderful video ❤

I really like the wisdom your dean shared with you.

I have 3b hair. Very curly and frizzy. One day I went to the salon, the person who did my hair said she was in a rush and did my hair quickly. My hair was extremely damaged after coming back from the salon. My hair lost its softness and curl pattern and was always just frizzy. Even though I don’t have 4c hair (btw 4c hair is beautiful) I still could relate to this video a lot! I’m going to start loving my natural hair again! Thanks!!!

This touched me in a deep place. Thank you for your honesty.

So eloquently said.. I am speechless (yet realize this is divine timing). I was literally sitting in front of the mirror looking at my post 7 month relaxed hair wondering if and when the time would come that I looked in the mirror and loved how I looked with my natural vs. with straight hair. I just 'feel' like my long pin straight hair best fits my longer face shape. The natural hair journey is just that.. A journey. Cutting my hair short would not be the best fit for my face shape. Nor do I want to spend money on fake hair, wear too tight braids that can cause breakage, nor wear plaits (in public) that make me feel like I'm 5 instead of 50 while waiting for my hair to dry into an acceptable curly style. There are so many other important things going on in the world yet looking in the mirror is the silent struggle. Self acceptance and ❤ is key.. We need more content like this to disrupt the programming. Peace. Love. Light. Healing

I love my hair (type 4 but mostly 4c coils) and it gets on my nerves almost every time I've had to do it or get it done. I've been natural my whole 26 years and I feel glad that my parents encouraged it so much. It really helped me notice whether the feedback I got from other Black girls was positive or internalized hatred. Most of the time it was positive and I think it's that they could tell I loved my hair and it was taken care of so well (lots of braided styles and a big puff every blue moon or an afro). I think when you take care of your hair, people care less about the texture and more about how healthy it is. It was really affirming to hear "look at all that pretty hair" as children (I have 4 sister and our textures are all different) when we'd have a million ponytails or just a fro. I try to do the same with my nieces when they were little. I can't swoop baby hair (my actual baby hair is super short and straight 😂🤦🏾‍♀️), and I am sometimes too lazy to lay anything. But I'm fine with that. I've tried styles that just won't work for my texture so I do all the styles that is meant for kinkier hair and not for looser curls. Everything isn't for everyone and that's okay too. Sometimes I'll take my hair out of braids or twists early just because I miss my hair, but I definitely get annoyed by the maintenance all the time. There's no rule that says we have to like it 24/7.

Thank you for sharing your journey. I am a fellow 4c natural and started my KZfaq channel from my desire to help spread more 4c content. This year makes 10 years on my hair journey, and despite a long period of length retention difficulty, I’ve absolutely loved my hair the whole time through. When it was a twa I must admit I sometimes doubted my beauty, but around the awkward length, I think I can say I had accepted every part of the journey. I am now just reaching hip length and still have the same passion for my hair. Hearing your experience helped remind me of my original passion to spread positivity and love of 4c hair, ESPECIALLY to fellow 4c girls. Because it took me years until I saw a girl on KZfaq with texture like mine, and then still longer before finding girls with waist length 4c hair. I want to be that girl on KZfaq for future 4c girls who are still struggling and searching for representation. I’m so happy you’re in a better place now, and I hope some of my videos can also help keep you inspired and hopeful in the days to come. *PS: we’re both black, naturals in Asia 🙌🏾 I live in Japan 🇯🇵 😆

This is beautiful. Thank you!

As an African American girl I do relate to all that was mentioned in this video! Thanks for posting, and please keep the videos coming🙂

Your hair can hear you and knows that you hate it. This truly resonated with me. It goes beyond our hair sometimes to our skin, our nose, our face, our bodies. Thank you 🙏🏽 ♥️🙏🏽

Holy shit. Found this looking for tutorials for my 4c hair and BOY was this video a breath of fresh air. New sub here. You had me at the Dean’s words. As a black woman with 4c hair and an atypical body shape “for a black girl” I know what it’s like to internalize society’s disdain for a part of me that I can’t control. I’m still working through accepting my hair and body but know this: I’m working on it. Glad you’re here, Kelsia. Your voice is SO IMPORTANT. 💕

I know how you feel. I cut my locs two years ago and have been trying to figure out. I have a cabinet full of draw string pony tails , wigs and clip in weaves and I've decided what was the point of attempting to embrace my natural by covering it up all the time. I realized my locs are where I was happiest and what feels more natural to me. So back to locs. Your honesty is so refreshing.

This is amazing and so encouraging Thank you for being a voice for the millions of black women who struggle with accepting themselves in their natural state xxx

This is beautiful. I wish I had the answer to how to engage and love our 4c hair in a healthy way but unfortunately, I dont. I personally feel like I cheated because I put my hair in locs to avoid having to deal or manage my hair. Often times, when i had to deal or manage my hair prelocs, I would end up frustrated, angry, and tired leading me to say some mean things about myself bc of my hair. Especially in comparison to my sisters hair even though we have the same parents her hair was looser than mines. In putting my hair in locs I learned to love my hair bc it grew longer and it was easier to deal with. but that's how I knew that I cheated bc I still havent learn to love it's very essence. The way I describe taking care of it as "managing" it or dealing with it as if it is something that needs to be controlled explains the plaguing blatant dislike I have for my hair when it was not in locs. I do think that with education and spending more time rechecking yourself when you have those negative thoughts are one of the first steps to loving your hair. But I havent really gotten there yet so take my thoughts with a grain of salt. Sorry for the long response. Your video just spoke to me.

I have kinky hair that is almost bra strap length. The key to natural hair is being confident in styles that don't take forever to do. My hair is pretty thick and course so I wear it in twists most of the time. I think people say being natural is time consuming because they spend too much time doing styles that make it look less natural. Those often require more detangling and avoiding frizz - which adds to the maintenance. There are a lot of low maintenance styles for course hair (pin ups, twists, etc). But do you feel pretty when you wear them? I think that's the problem for a lot of women. Once I embraced the low maintenance styles, frizz and the kinks, being natural became easier. I no longer spend tons of money on products and I allow my hair/twists to frizz a bit. They sometimes look like locs and I am ok with that. It's so much freer when you actually accept the frizz.

I love this. It honestly came just in time.

Omg. I feel like crying. I've been wearing crochets for a few years now and only let my hair breathe for a week if even that. I've always justified that by saying that it is too much work, that it takes too much time. This week, I let her out, and she was blow dried and straightened. Suddenly wanted t play with her more, I wanted to style her, but not in her natural state. I just realized today, that I don't love my hair. 😭😵‍💫😭😵‍💫😭 Guess the journey begins today. Thank you for sharing!

I literally named my hair Loki after the God of mischief because it was so impossible. I hated how it never looked right so I mostly used wigs and braids. But then I fell into the 30 day hair detox with the Black girls Curls ladies and I bought the SeeSomeCurls hair class they have, and it's been a game changer. Wash day is now wash 2 hours and that includes drying time. My hair looks so well behaved! I need a hair cut as some parts are a little choppy from me cutting things out of anger or frustration or just heat damage. I strongly suggest you check it out if you want a simple routine what will leave you truly loving your hair! I'm pretty much obsessed with Loki now and can't stop looking and touching it. Like I have curls! I thought my hair was just undefined frizzy mess and that's all it would ever do but it was just me abusing her and treating her like a an unwanted stepchild smh.

This is amazing. I’m still learning how not to hate my 4c hair. I’m still ashamed to wear it in its natural shrunken state outside of the house

I have 4c thin hair and I haven’t put heat in my head for over 2 years. My hair grows best when I leave it alone, but it also prevents me from dealing with my hair. I’m so quick to put on a wig or some braids whenever I don’t want to deal with my hair and after 4-5 years of being natural I’m still learning to love my 4c hair. My hair is down to my back now but like I said I don’t use heat so none of the styles I wear reflect that. I think the most frustrating thing is when people automatically assume “ your bald” or “ have no hair” because my shrinkage don’t reflect how long my hair actually is.

ughhh i love when people make their KZfaq videos look like short films. this was beautiful -HTTV

This sooo powerful. And i appreciate it sooo much . Thank u . U are soo strong for imbracing the real feels you have

I am a mixed gi with 3c cus and i still watched this , felt it helped.me love my hair more ( because i didnt really like it and always wished it was like all my classmates , straight and long ) and fall in love with you and oyyr honestly i just hope you all finally love your hair type like u started loving mine and i love you all and i love 4c hair now i thinks its so pretty i love the afro style it looks so gold to me honestly like my hair can neither manage that afro style nor the slick gel soft style so its lime in between but i still love it i hope you all are having the best day ever and achieve all your goals and dreams ❤ ❤ ❤

Keep doing this, Kelsia! I’ve been loving all your content.

absolutely love how honest and moving this video is. i can definitely relate, thank you

i truly loved this video and am very glad that you spoke to what has been on the hearts of many 4c girls for a long long time. your story is your own as much as it is the story of so many 4c black girls who simply want to love their hair as it is. and i think it's even more important seeing this video after hearing what TI's daughter had to say about her hair not "fitting her". i wish you luck and success on your hair journey. going natural wasn't really an option for me because i knew that the relaxer/perm/weave route was not for me. i didn't want to risk irreversible damage for easy hair. so i put in the work and cried over the failed twist-outs and prayed that God would end my suffering and let me wake up with 3c hair someday. through active learning, trial and error, and more, i was able to reprogram my mentality around doing my hair. now, every time i wash, style, or protect my hair, i see it as an act of love. i see every wash day, every 2-day mini-vacation to put in box braids, and every LOC moisture routine like a declaration of how much i love and appreciate my hair and guess what? my hair has never been more manageable, predictable, defined, etc. i literally went from never having a noticeable curl pattern, always having a lot of breakage and dryness, and always feeling defeated to smiling and rejoicing in how long and healthy my hair is. i wish i could travel back 8 years and tell myself "start treating your hair like you love it" every day, because i cannot attribute these improvements to any product or regimen. love, care, and gratitude made my hair healthy. plain and simple.

I loved seeing this aesthetic of videography and storytelling discussing reflections of a personal journey from a black woman 🥺. Keep up with the quality work, it will surely be worth it 💖💖. Love, another black woman.

Great story, it absolutely resonates.

This video was incredibly powerful. It was very raw, and honest, and I genuinely feel like I relate to this so much. Thank you for sharing your journey

absolutely love this, I love the honesty. this will help someone

This is an accurate description of my relationship with my hair... One thing that made me love my hair more was just to stay further away from relaxers or texturisers and just keep it in protective styles longer cause wash days for me are quite long and I can't have wash days as often...

I'm really trying to get my boyfriend to love his own hair. I see him get frustrated and annoyed it wont do the things he wants it to, just as you said you experienced as well. Its a journey for sure.

It is a process and self love on many levels is often not taught for many black women for generations. We learn through our own experiences and often need many reminders. Great series.

YOUR HAIR IS SO PRETTY GOSH U GODESS

as a Christian homeschooler , I grew up knowing only white people. sometimes I would cry because I wanted to have hair like them. I'm still insecure about it right now. I have eczema on my hands so they get really irritated when I try to do my hair with any product. so I always think " if I had hair like the girls at church , my hands would be better and so would my life" . its so hard for me to be confident in my hair.

Wow!! A lot of truth here. More 4c ladies need to see it because I see so many people sharing the same sentiments on social media ALL THE TIME and it makes me sad as a fellow 4c.

Black women's hair are absolutely gorgeous. The way it defies gratity, the different hairstyles, it's literal magic.

This is such a beautiful piece, I love as naturals we need to appreciate 4c hair it's beautiful just like all the other curly hair types.

I can so relate to this! Thanks for being so open and honest 💛

Hoping to see more honest content like this from other creators. I think it'll generate more conversation on our hair, wig industry, hair care, and more.

I truly think your hair and type 4 hair in general is severely underrated and BEAUTIFUL!!! I love it. Best of luck to you on your journey.

thank you so much for this

Gorgeous girl with your gorgeous skin and gorgeous kinky coily hair. I see you. Your beauty cannot be denied. This was video is the light that so many black girls and women need to see through the darkness of repression, oppression, and self-hate. Thank you💗💗💗

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing. I've been natural for a long time but I didn't start wearing wash and go's up until about 2 months ago. I always "liked" my natural hair texture, but I felt embarrassed to wear it in its natural state outdoors. I was so nervous but I finally did it and it was so freeing😌😌I love it. The FIRST day I did it, I got complimented too.

I LOVE EVERYTHING about THIS content. 4c HAIR ROCKS!!

I love this so much !!! " Your hair is a living part of you"

My hair is more like 4a/4b, but I just gave up relaxers 2 years ago. When I first big chopped after 14 months of transitioning, I wasn't totally in love with my hair. I had never had hair that short and I didn't like really short hair on me. But learning how to care for completely natural hair and how to style it was a fun journey for the most part. I found that I disliked my hair the most when I was struggling to do anything with it. I had horrible tangling and there was a point when I was just sick of it and the amount of time it took to detangle just for it to tangle back up. Then I started trying different things to fix the excessive tangling and I eventually found something that worked for me. I went to a natural hair salon and found a stylist to hype me up and give me a silk press. After having my hair straight for a couple of weeks, I started missing my coily hair. Since then my hair has been thriving and I've been having fun experimenting with different styles and temporary colors. I think that once you reach peak hair health, your hair becomes easier to manage and love. It's fun being able to go from a silk press one week to a full on fro the next to switching up the color without the damage. It's a lot of trial and error and problem solving, but our hair is beautiful and versatile and never boring.

I Love and appreciate this so much, I'm 20 years old and along with starting to get insecure about my body and my skin tone (medium dark) ,I started to hate my 4c natural hair too. I texlaxed my hair too, and my hair is just damaged and I hate it, I miss my healthy kinks and I'm working on getting them back, and working on showing my whole self more love because I'm beautiful. Black women are beautiful, light ,medium , dark, we are all gorgeous!

I love this video so much and it hit home so much. I hated getting my hair relaxed but loved to see my natural growth underneath a few weeks later. As soon as I could, I stopped relaxing my hair after high school and I felt free. But I didn't know how to take care of my hair and eventually learned how along the way. When I started using social media I flowed what others did but it did resonate with me. Now, I know that I don't have to do something I don't like and I can take care of my hair the way I like. Unlearning and learning is challenging but worth it because now I can share with my niece and nephew what I learned during my journey. Thank you for sharing your experience with us :)

I love this ❤️this was beautiful. Thank you for being vulnerable , in a world full of judgement and opinions. I appreciate you and your journey.

Your videos are so transparent and refreshing 👌🏾

I feel like most women who go natural should might as well get locs…they’re very versatile and can be very professional and clean depending on how you maintain them! With the amount of work it takes to be natural you should just get locs, and wake up everyday with hair that won’t stress you out

Thank you for this video ♥. My daughter is struggling with loving her hair and I showed her this video and it definitely made her smile and have a different outlook.

I definitely appreciate you speaking your truth. It deeply resonates with me and what I’m going through right now. It truly is hard to go completely against the grain.

Am I the only one who feels extremely bad about myself when i see videos like this? I just felt confident in my natural hair yesterday, but seeing other women struggle loving hair that looks like mine makes me feel like i should be feeling bad about myself too

Honestly, the weird thing is I don’t care much for straight hair. I’ve always liked curls though, but just not mine if that made sense. Don’t get me wrong, I know that 4 type hair is technically the “curliest” type of hair but I’ve always thought 3 type hair was pretty, and for some reason never liked or cared much for 4 type hair. I’m trying to unlearn this, and to not dislike my hair texture but it’s hard. Sometimes I wish my hair wasn’t so “kinky”, or anything like that. :/

this is so beautiful and resonated with me so deeply. you were blessed with such a gift

Afro hair (type 4) has the shiniest hair follicles out of other hair textures. When I heard this, I felt even more confident with my crown. I do like wearing my hair in a stretched state sometimes for helping my hair grow. I say don’t feel bad for your crown. Whether you decide to wear it straight or natural know that your crown is literally a diamond. Can you see the shape that it makes on your scalp? It’s like a diamond. It’s a real hidden gem. I think, prioritizing, growing our hair long will make us love it even more. Because just like my Dominican friends from high school, when they straighten their hair occasionally for a special event, it was so long and beautiful, because they always kept it moisturized, and even embraced the coily texture most of the time. I even had teachers that never even straighten their hair ever and it looked so beautiful and healthy. I’m thankful to grow up around a lot of Dominican people, especially Afro Dominicans. They have the same hair texture as us and sometimes they keep their hair and it’s natural state and it’s gorgeous with its curliness. Sometimes I will see them even straighten their hair and I’ll be shocked at how beautiful and shiny it looks. You have versatility. You have options. In my opinion, 4C hair is the best hair. We just have to learn how to take care of it better. Wigs and weaves are not bad either as it’s a good protective style. My problem is that because of our hair texture, and because we’re not taught a lot about it, we neglect it with protective styles. Our hair needs conditioning every single day in order to help it flourish and be smooth and healthy. Especially type 4 hair. I’m black and I’m proud.

I love this video. It’s so beautiful and I can relate to this video so much so thank you!!🤍

This is amazing. I was just talking to God about this but with something else and it brought me back to the question of why do I feel this way. Thank you so much. ❤️❤️❤️

Love love love. You're such a sweetheart and this video is so important, thank you for posting 🙏🏾

Also this was beautifully scripted and directed by the way Kelsia!! Loved every moment of it 🥺🤍

Loved this video. I actually contemplated texturizing my hair just a couple weeks ago and was watching videos to see people’s experience. I love my hair, but I wanted it to be easier to deal with is all, but I guess if looser hair was for me I would’ve been born with it. This video solidified my decision to not go that route. Thanks! *subscribes*

Girl, you and your hair are beautiful.😍 The typing system is so dumb. 👎🏾 I went natural in '98, had locs for 7 yrs, got a texturizer in '07, relaxer in '08, last (3rd) big chop in '09. Its a process but self love is soooo important. Knowledge of Self and realizing how ridiculous we look tryna force our hair to do something it doesn't do naturally is insane. Nothing wrong with throwing on a wig or getting some braids for a break. Nowadays they come in various textures.😁 We gotta stop being so hard on ourselves. And yes, the natural hair community is toxic!😫 As well as MANY members in the black community who swear they gotta conform.

I never felt that way; but an excellent piece. Keep the content coming because this is new and refreshing!

I loved watching this 💕🌱 happy to see you in your journey to love your hair

This was so good