I've been married to one for 48 years. If I had understood what was happening , I could have had a wonderful life. Instead, my youth is gone, and it's too late to get my life back. We didn't understand all of this back then. Thank you for saving the youngsters before it's too late for them. You are changing lives.

"Death by a thousand cuts". How the narcissist wounds you.

I tried to accommodate this person, but I realized no matter what I did, it was never enough.

When this starts at childhood from a parent, it's a lifelong healing journey. Prayers for everyone experiencing this 🙏

“Changing or altering yourself is not going to help the situation, all it does is prove to the Narc that they get their way” - THIS.

So insidious. Manipulative. Toxic. Eventually coverts expose themselves. Go Gray rock or no contact. They don’t change. I have compassion for them and also choose to limit time with them. 🙏

My ex used to casually remind me if how old I am, we're both 60. He used to say we're falling apart now that we're old.. eventually I realised he was devaluing me and started saying how fantastic I feel and how glad I am and I'd never want to go back in time. He hated that, so funny. He'd also laugh and mock my body which is really slim and in good shape for my age

- Educate yourself - See the patterns - Stop fantasising about change - Set boundaries - Don't take the bate - They are going to have to adapt 💚💚👍🏻👍🏻

"For someone who's covert they can to show tendencies of being harmless. Being lovely, being friendly, and being humbled. Because what they're doing is playing a character. It will point this person to be great catch, great person. You believe this person is actually good and this is their character. But over time you're going to start to see stranger behaviours start to come out. What you are witnessing is really the start of narcissistic abuse." That is part of abuse cycle. It is called Grooming. They use it again during Honeymoon period: being nice, good and normal.

OMG bully is the right word for them. Oh and they do try to chip away at you and ostracized you from other people to isolate you so you can feel less than. They lie behind your back so people will look at you differently so you are the bad guy. It is pathetic what narcissists do to keep their fake persona going.

My vulnerable narcissistic dad loves to say "you're being rude to me" when I try to uphold boundaries.

I'm very grateful fore my narcissistic relationship. It literally taught me so many things about myself, life and relationships that I needed to know to become a more emotionally aware, mature authentic person.

I was friends with someone who was so controlling and manipulative, and she even admitted something like, "I tear people down and build people back up, and some people just can't handle that. I'm like a mirror, I give people the feedback that they need. " It always bothered me when she said those things. She is absolutely the most outlandishly manipulative person I have ever known; she was literally in the process of stealing from me and she told me to my face that I was crazy and how could I ever think such bad things about a person who was as giving as her. The gaslighting was so bad that even to this day, I doubt my judgement on calling her out, even though I CAUGHT her stealing from me. I struggled to classify her personality disorder, as she appeared to have a lot of empathy. But the manipulation was SO incredibly complex, and so involved, it blew my mind. Everything she learned about other people, she would later use to blackmail and guilt trip. Such a complex web of relationships and people that she was manipulating simultaneously. It didn't really occur to me that she is probably a covert narc; everything was a cover for getting what she wanted out of people. When you pull off the mask, you're left with a faceless face.

Don't forget the part where they're suddenly nice to you because all they want is something from you and as soon as they get it they flip and are the narcissistic again. Also the calm before the storm is what scares me the most because that's usually a huge blow up is false accusation or whatnot and imo it's mostly because they have done something awful and are blame shifting it to you so that all you can do at that moment is protect yourself which means you aren't thinking about the atrocities they're just committed. Oh they have a very calculated game plan. Also remember that going up against a narcissistic is usually a losing battle because if you're anything like me I don't know how to play those ugly games and I end up looking worse in the long run and they now have even more they can pit against you in their already overflowing arsenal of lies.

This video is totally about my wife. I set boundaries the last year and started saying “No” to basic things I don’t want to do. Since then, she has made my life hell and use’s her parents as flying monkeys. Stay strong people and keep yourself protected.

My soon to be ex-wife is a "woe is me" covert. She is an amazing chameleon and can charm anyone. No one will see what I have seen when I was discarded as she left for AP. Truly frightening after a thirty year marriage. This is why I know she will spin the end of our relationship as me being the bad guy, even though she is the adulterer. This resonated SO deeply. She is clearly a person deeply in pain and as much as she blamed the unhappiness she felt in our marriage (never ONCE said she was unhappy) for why she strayed, she clearly is unhappy with herself deep down. All she did was take that same baggage to a different relationship.

Years ago I was in a relationship with a perverse narcissist. I thought that I could spot narcissism for miles away. But that wasn’t the case… Unfortunately, I just got out of a toxic relationship with a covert narcissist. It was the roughest thing I had to go through but I Had the courage to end things with him. Follow your intuition and don’t dismiss the signs. You can give someone a chance because everybody makes mistakes but hey… Love yourself enough to keep your eyes wide open🙏

I was married to a covert narcissist for 12 years and only to the very end when her mask fell off I truly saw how evil they can be

Finally realized my mom is all of this and does all these things. Esp playing the victim. Which led me to be in several abusive relationships. Finally free of her and them. Knowledge is power 🙌

Once you have a narcissist in your life, love doesn’t die a natural death. Narcissistic love is riding on the rollercoaster of disaster filled with a heart full of tears. 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

2 years after getting away from him, this is still triggering to watch. He was so evil to me at home, would bait me outdoors to become emotional and then I’d look unhinged to others whilst he looked on with feigned confusion. I did go into myself to change and do better because I thought I was obviously the problem. I could not see it whilst I was in it, I felt it but I didn’t recognise what was happening at the time. He used to tell me I was needy when I wanted affection from him, I realised he would say these things to train me not to ask for anything from him because it was all about his needs, I wasn’t allowed to have any needs. I’ve never met someone so evil and someone who complained about everything all of the time. Great video.

When I decide to meet someone in my life. I will be well aware of the patterns now that I realised my husband and past relationships where narcissist. I won’t put my heart out there so fast and always be on alert for these demons. That was my problem I trusted to fast and opened my heart to fast. Now I know I have yo get to really know a person.

The hardest work I had to do was to unshackle myself! One day I went to the hospital to drop off a get well gift for him and I felt the devils around my spirit. Whatever it was it was scareeeeee and that was it! I had to get real with myself and admit it felt bad being in that relationship. Only I could free myself. Only me!

I had a best friend for nearly 8 years... we were there for each other through many stages. We lived together- but when I wanted to move out due to personal reasons, she initially was supportive, but then FLIPPED on me a few days later- became very vitriolic, harsh, and unreasonable. I stood up for myself (because I've learned to through past romantic relationships with narcissists...) and that enraged her. Then the lies came, the gaslighting, the anger, in full force. She even threatened physical violence. I wasn't reacting how she wanted me to (AKA yelling / blaming too). She used every tactic she could think of to hurt me. Thank God I've done so much work on myself to KNOW myself, because I knew everything she was saying wasn't true. Grey rock method worked. I saw her for who she truly is. It was a shocking switch, but I got out, and went no contact.

Wow I'm sure we've all heard these words eg. "You're too ...." but now I'm realising just how damaging these people are and it is SO important to know yourself and separate yourself psychologically, emotionally and sometimes physically from someone this unwell, consciousless, immoral and unempathetic. I see their projections as their verbal vomit. If someone was vomiting, I wouldn't take it personally so why would I take their projections personally? It's actually a confession of who they are. Just like vomit, their body can't hold it in so they have to let it out so they can feel better but it doesn't have to affect you. Mental illness in that way is similar to physical illness. I know it's difficult to be on the receiving end of it but you don't have to make yourself available to that.

Boundaries have truly become my best friend 💯

Classic narcissist move, no matter how badly they've behaved, is they act like nothing ever happened. No apologies, and asking for one will typically earn you a narcissistic rage tantrum. RUN! Get them out of your life! I believe we tolerate these people's behavior more now due to smaller circles of friends, and difficulty meeting quality people. Narcissists have mastered appearing fun, credible, and worth your time. They eagerly plan hanging out, bringing gifts, flattery, and what seems genuine interest in you and your life. They will share many things in common. By the time you really enjoy spending time with them, and get more comfortable with them it is inevitable that you will say something that triggers them. Could be a slight criticism, limit their control of a situation, or talk a topic that makes them uncomfortable. At that point, everything starts to change. It sucks! Because everything was fine, you feel the need to right the wrong, yet are confused about what exactly caused the drama unfolding. Que the narcissist manipulation....ugh! I don't miss that part at all!

This is exactly my ex! He was overt in the fact that he was a little showy and could be loud, but he was always nice and congenial (in public or when he was in a good mood). I truly thought I was engaged to “the nicest guy ever”… until he took his mask off more and more often. And by then I was already in the vortex and would make excuses for him. I still have compassion for him and the pain he must have on the inside, but it’s from a distance. Just because he’s hurting doesn’t give him an excuse to be cruel to others (and me in particular)

This is EXACTLY what my dad was like growing up. I'm so thankful for people like you and good therapy that helped me recognize and take control of my life and become successful. Keep doing what you're doing! 👏

When they try to invalidate your observations by saying "I never had this problem with anyone before" it's because nobody called them out on their negative behaviors, workplaces can be tricky so being aware can help and it seems ignoring and being indifferent to narcissists can be more helpful to you than trying to fix a situation because they don't want it fixed and will be even more toxic.

Extremely excellent description of my husband. It took Thirty years to open my eyes and I went through everything you described. It was horrible and I became very depressed. It took years to climb out of the deep dark hole. Keep making these videos so other people can get out from under the bullies.

Every time after a break-up I think: "Am I the problem? Am I the toxic one? Am I narcissist?". How would I know? I am almost 40 and I keep on attracting emotionally immature and emotionally abusive men.

Yes, thank you for this. It took me about 20 years to begin to understand what was happening and another five before I could call him on it and break out of the abusive cycle. I would even get "punished" if a friend would complement me on my dress! That was nothing short of crazy. Always walking on eggshells, always trying to figure out when and where the next shoe will drop, them never taking responsibility for their bad behavior... It is exhausting.

When you grow up in that sarcastic, over critical and condescending family environment you end up doing that to people as an adult until you hopefully get wiser and more sensitive to others as you age. Looking back at past experiences I regret a lot of things I said to people at times in my younger years.

Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!

Around 8:15 the mention of having a sense of self and trusting your intuition and knowing who you are resonated with me. This is exactly why my narc ex-wife was able to manipulate me for years. But as I started to (re)connect with myself and grow all around stronger, she couldn’t handle it. We’re now 4+ years divorced and I can clearly see how having a strong sense of self and being in touch with my intuition has led to a much better life and has helped me attract much healthier women. Thank you, Stephanie, for your validating and empowering content.

I think being a CNA in nursing home's my hole life, helped me get out as I seen my ex- husband as a mentally ill resident.

I unwittingly dated a covert narcissist for 4 years when I was 22. It was my first long term relationship and I was discarded. I felt so confused like I had the best thing I could ever hope for and I was the one who threw it all away. I’ve had a raincloud over me forever and I always downplayed my own achievements feeling like I’m just not good enough to do anything of value. Now that I learned what a covert narcissist is and how I fell into each and every trap that was laid out for me, I feel like I can forgive myself for never bringing myself to leave my narcissist when we were together. I was played like a fiddle. Figuring all of that out has been a thousand times more difficult than even studying quantum physics. I know. I studied it in college after my breakup. I feel vindicated after 20 years

Thank you. A very clear and concise explanation of covert narcissism. The, 'Butter wouldn't melt in their mouth, so humble and quiet and generous.....' is an excellent explanation of the type. My ex is diagnosed with EUPD. Your overview here sums up very well the slow but insidious unveiling of their true self. That's perhaps the most difficult part to deal with. Because they seem so quiet and unassuming nobody really sees the real underlying person they do not present in public. A very powerful form of manipulation....

Try to stop myself from over reacting and knowing it comes from their own wounds….then still sometimes in private have a good cry over it….one day at a time

Very true video. You must spot it. Esp early. Your first thing is to say "No" see how they react. Definitely look at the repeated patterns. And also bring up hard subjects and see how they handle it. Rem they're very immature. We need to listen more than talking. They tell on themselves.

My Covert husband became very mean and very angry controlling cruel emotionally abusive the last 8 years before he passed..When I seen his rage and his arguments with me after I knew what I was dealing with m..He always sounded like a child arguing It was like he was still a teenager arguing with me..When I sat back and let him go and listened He was the one that couldn’t shut up as he had always said I was He was the one that was in competition I never understood that word when he would say we’re not in competition!! Till I learned they are constantly in competition with you..He called me stupid, crazy, idiot you name it..When I was able to stand my ground and stay on my feet It was him that went to the bedroom The easier way to get a Covert out of your face if they aren’t physically abusive to you.. Is to speak in a calm but firm voice like your it’s mother. Speak honestly and firmly what you will and will not tolerate. Keep your emotions for another time.. Just remember over and over your dealing with a child in my eyes my husband was approximately between the age 12-15 years old mentally He would literally say things that were childish Although when I reacted instead of responding I never heard that he was actually saying the same things over and over and over When I realized this it made it so much easier to be the adult and hold my ground with him.. I was married 31 years and all was fine until the blaming rage and guilt and shame came out full blown in my face. That was the past for me with both my parents one physical and other emotional I stopped the triggers when I realized that when he upset me the most was when I was actually feeling like myself as a child and wanted away from the behavior What’s really sad is he knew about my past! I so thought I had gotten away from all these cruel people as I didn’t know anything about Narcissists until I was 52 years old The more I knew and was learning how to handle my Mom He was slowly taking his mask off When his parents died so did he!! He never knew who he was or why he was on this earth..It’s sad what his parents did to him to make this way. I pray one day his parents have to answer for taking a living child and making this out of him.. Not easy being a widow to a Narcissistic person at all. I will always love him and miss him but not his rage and gaslighting and guilt and shame those things I will never miss I do now know there is 2 types of these people and I’ve been filed by both The Covert was and still is the hardest of them all they do damaging pain to us mentally and physically without ever hitting us..They make and leave us sick and chronically ill from all their behaviors.. In my case he was a covert He was in bad situations He didn’t word me as much as most instead he learned from his Dad to be strong and look strong when he really wasn’t He was a child that had never known or experienced true love until Me I was more than he wanted me to be So he was trying to break me for good for him to feel good While he was miserable after his parents passed He condoned their behavior I called it as I saw it in my on family abuse.I see now why we never agreed on that one.. He honestly learned how to be who he was from his Mom and Dads abuse all his life.. If we could rid of abuse we could change this world so much..If you know a child is abused stand up don’t leave them sitting in that abuse Mom or Dad doesn’t matter We didn’t deserve what him or I ever went through as a child. I’m healing and he’s with The Lord in Heaven hopefully happy for the first time in his life for he was a very angry depressed man. That swore he wasn’t.. Coverts are tricky Now I’m 58 and sitting here not wanting to be with anyone anymore I’ve been in these relationships all my life.. I’m healing me to get out of this triangle and thanking God no children came from this relationship.. Take Care Everyone God Bless you all ♥️🙏🏻

Holy cow! I realize that I was in a relationship with a covert narcissist. Geez this will be my second healing from a narcissistic relationship. Thank you so much for clarifying things you are such a gift in my life and I really appreciate your direct and truthful approach but also with empathy and understanding.

I just moved out of my covert mother's rent house and moved out of state. This is the freest I've been in over two years.

Those traits & behavior patterns that you described in this video are hauntingly familiar to me & accurately portray not only my mother, but both my younger siblings as well, and unfortunately, they’ve passed them on to my teenage niece now. Growing up in our family, physical abuse was never an issue, but the emotional tolls of being raised in an extremely passive aggressive environment can last a lifetime. Fortunately, for me, though in my 40s I befriended a very observant & wise individual who pointed out that I wasn’t really anything like the rest of both my immediate & extended families & after years of becoming my own man via self improvement and plenty of introspective effort, I’m well on my way to finding my true self

Feel comfortable with your self and also in your body. Stay in your integrity.

Six long ass years I was victimized by a female covert narc. I didn’t know what was happening. I have been no contact for a year and I still struggle everyday with the damage that has been done to my psyche. I call it emotional rape. Yes, men can be abused!!! I am proof of that! Good luck everyone

So I am just going to use this comment section to vent for a minute, cause I need to. So I walked away from a 10 year frindship that was incredibly toxic. I didn't see if for a long long time. The first 5 years were just fine, but after we both became mothers I really started to see that this person didn't respect that we chose to parent differently, in fact she didn't respect me at all. To make a looong story short, at the end I found myself bursting into tears everytime I got in the car after visiting with her. And it took me WAY too long to realize how un-ok that was. I was extremely co-dependant and highly empathetic and I was so desperate to have that close female friend in my life, like most women! The two things she started to do towards the end (which correlated with when I met another friend who is now my best friend, so I think the abuse really started when she felt threatened by this new person in my life) She started bringing up my miscarriage to EVERYONE! She would talk about it at group events, birthday parties, random get togethers, and eventually EVERY SINGLE TIME I WOULD SEE HER she would bring it up. And what was the reason for this? To hurt me... She knew it hurt me... And I hate that I never once told her to stop, I was too weak I just walked away. This went on for over a year, I'm disgusted at myself for not standing up for myself at the time. But this wasn't even the end of it, then she started bringing up everytime I saw her that she thought my son had autism. No matter what I said, no matter how many times I blew off the conversation, she continued to talk about it. Eventually it turned from, "I think your son has autism." to "your son's autism." She had basically diagnosed him and WOULD TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT IN FRONT OF ME!!!! And would talk about it when he was in ear shot. I never stood up for him and told her to shut to fuck up!!!! I have extreme guilt about that now that I'm working through. My son hated going over to her house because he was terrified of her, and so finally I stopped hanging out with her. Once I wasn't around her anymore and I started to actually work through these issues I finally began to piece things together... I am SOOOO glad I found youtubers like you that has helped me cope with all this. And I am SOOOOOOO thankfull that I found a wonderful friend that finally showed me how a true friend should treat you. If I never met my new best friend I probably would have stayed in that toxic friendship for too long and my son would have ended up with self esteem issues I'm sure. The cognitive dissonance is REAL, this woman went from being a best friend to a nightmare friend in a very short amount of time. And like I said I think it was when her friendship with me got threatened when things really went downhill. But looking back even when things were good they wern't actually that good. I still had to go to her house to hang out, in 10 years we only had 1 playdate at my house and that was only because she had a dentists appt out by me so I babysat the kids for her. Everything had to be in her timing around her schedule. The day after I had my miscarriage I still had to drive to her house so that I would have someone to be with me after going through that, and she even insisted on us running errands together, so we did. My husband would ask me why I still hung out with her after that, and after she started talking about the miscarriage at get togethers and when the autism thing started up, and I just excused it! I don't really know why. I would excuse it while crying about it! Even just typing this out now I'm just shaking my head in disbelief that I went SO long dealing with this awful person. Of course there were gems of good times sprinkled in throughout the years and that's how they get you to stay. Anyway, that's my story. Maybe this can help someone out there going through something similar. Dealing with covert narcissism in a long term friendship is also very painful!

Thank you. It pains me to have to study these videos, but I am so glad to have them!

It’s really hard not to take it personally.

I cannot begin to describe to you how helpful this was for me.

I learn so much from your videos! Thank you for the content 💜💜😌

Thank you so much Steph! Customer service is not always cake

I love this video! Every other video on narcissism basically just says run away vs learning to be stronger and finding your true self so that the narcissistic behaviors don’t effect you. Don’t make life easier make me stronger. I’ve learned more on how to be aware of my thoughts using CT and meditation from the narcissists in my life than any other personality type. Calm seas don’t make skilled sailors:)

“I thought you’d be the one to finally understand and accept me”.....ugh....forgot that one.

Thank you for this video. For explaining cognitive dissonance, I didn't know what it was. I saw myself in your words "we tend to try to change ourselves in order to have that good side of them come back". I am struggling with a breakup which was a narcissistic discard and I always have to remind myself not to beat myself up because I couldn't have changed whatever image they had of me. Thank you so much...

Ha! my education began the day I searched passive/aggressive behavior. He became my "narcissistic clinical trial", I kept a journal and documented everything.... it was mind blowing! Long story short... I flipped it.. no longer engaged.. pulled away, slowly.. and boom - Narcissistic Rage! Good

I would say “I would do it for you” when I was asking for her affection lol. She’d withhold affection CONSTANTLY and I always felt like I had to work for it

Michelle.always so clean and articulate in your delivery..So on point

I’m used to the name calling nothing g bothers me at this point and I never get offended because I don’t take it personally anymore. I was raised by a narcissist so nothing hurts me

thank you for this work. This is so much over the target, it is like good salve over the wounds I so often still find myself with.What a relief to hear someone understands, innerstands these crazymaking repeated encounters.

Your work is amazing, even for someone like myself, I've been single for years, but everything you discuss is just vital for being aware and conscious of how we navigate through this world. Your video on controlling your emotions is golden, all of the boundaries videos and being self-reliant are so important. I have a 10-year-old girl and when she gets a bit older, along with feminist literature I already have waiting for her, I plan to share a lot of your videos with her to help her know how to protect herself from what at times seems like a world full of all mixtures of predators and abusers. Truly important and crucial information you so eloquently share

This is one of the most helpful videos I've seen on how to deal with this type of person. Thank you!

The eerily stages of meeting a person reminds me of the first impression of a stranger trap, Once we get a first impression good and bad we find it difficult to imposable to change hour minds.

Wow! Thank you soo much for this insight! Incredible and the interactions with a covert narcissist so clearly explained: the reasons why, the actions and what they look like and how to respond. It took 3.5 years and 3 break ups. Watching this and many other of your videos, I am now more aware of the patterns. Until the last break up, I believed my ex was a fearful avoidant. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. After watching this, it is clear that he is not an FA. It is hard to accept but now I know with help from you,Stephanie, some further self study and others who are passionate like you and have graciously shared their knowledge and experiences. Thank you 🙏 ❤

Your videos have helped get myself out of a very dark place. Navigated through a relationship exactly as described in this video and was constantly gaslit to think I was the one with issues. Thank you for making them so relatable and easy to follow.

Good video Stephanie. You are on point.

You have played a huge role in saving my life. I feel as if I have searched the World over for any kind of validation. When I so sadly realized that the validation I so desperately needed would never come from him I set out to find it for myself. It sucked the life right out of me. This was six months ago. After accidentally stumbling across your video today I quickly realized this is the first time I have truly been able to breathe again. I feel light as a feather as though a real physical weight has been lifted from my physical being. ❤

Awesome thank u for this, it's so helpful!

I've known some of these types and yes it is very hard to see it at first; you have to spend time with them and watch their habits. I think of them as the lowest losers in the entire narcissist spectrum. They love to have ppl commiserate with them.

Thank You Stephanie. I enjoy watching your KZfaq Videos. You have helped me more than you will ever know by educating me about these toxic people. Have a great day. And God Bless You for all of your hard work that you put into your KZfaq Channel. 🙏✝️❤️

wow, new insight at this point was amazing!

This is a really good video, thanks! I’ve noticed when my response to them is honesty with no hostility, it shuts them down, even embarrasses them.

This is really one of the best informational guide I've read. Thank you so much for posting this.

You’re so amazing for sharing all this information. 🙏🏼

“ if I work on me I’ll get that version of that person back “ 🙋‍♂️ She groomed me to think I could never meet her needs and being a pleaser it consumed my every thought, true hamster wheel

You are so spot on!! Thank you!

Wow! Excellent video. So timely, thank you. Wow. 🙏🏼👍🏻💗

This validates my experiences succinctly ~ I appreciate your practical advice 💎

I enjoy your channel and hope you could one day talk about controlling abuse that doesn’t necessarily use name calling or abusive words. Most of my partner’s abuse is in his actions and body language. He stares me down and shakes his head and it most often comes out anytime I am cleaning the house. He’ll go through things I throw out in the garbage 😢 It’s very uncomfortable. He’ll unplug the vacuum while I’m using it or stop the dishwasher to move the dishes around. I’ve asked him to stop 100 times and he won’t. It’s really starting to make me feel incompetent even though I know that’s not true. He doesn’t really call me names but this still feels like abuse. I’m in therapy and trying to improve, but I’m having a hard time finding people who experience this kind of abuse or know how to handle it.

They ask a lot of questions to test you, trying to locate your vulnerabilities. Or they intuit possible vulnerabilities from your life circumstances. It is gross.

I had this 'friend ' that talked about her being empathic, a victim of, her many illnesses, etc. She went into tamper tantrums whenever she was questioned or she didn't like my consult, which she said was inadequate because she had a PHD. She has stopped talking to me 2x because I told her the truth about something that she didn't see. It didn't occur to me that she was a Narcissist until another friend introduced me to Covert Narcissist. Her last temper tantrums, I stopped returning her phone calls. I hope she is well, she threatened suicide alot.

That was really insightful and so resonates with me right now. Thank you once again.

❤great advice and thank you for all you do ❤ You have helped so many and appreciated for all you do ❤

Thank you so much, you spoke the words...... that narssist has to learn to adapt..... I have listened to a few videos by different presenters about narssism, but you are the first one to tell the listeners about......narssist having to adapt.....to actually be kind of involved I think, in thinking and mannerism of other people around him or her. That is such a blessing to hear. that a narssist can be able to adapt to views and ways of others, allowing some lee way for others to live with their own personality. All I had heard until now has been very negative, no hope living anf coping with narssists.

Stephanie you are so wise, thank you 🙏🏻

I just beat a narcissist in a court situation. My daughter. She was trying to get my wife out of my life, and she came close to succeeding, but I have video of her lying to a 911 operator. The judge saw that video. I was never asked a single question, the judge's first sentence was a finding in my favor. My daughter lost her mind. I know she's super angry, and I don't trust her one bit. But I don't fear her at all, and she knows this. I am going to be suing her very soon, and I'm going to win because of the video, and the fact that I documented EVERYTHING!

This is a great podcast!! I’m learning so much about my abuse that he kept labeling “relationship”. I was so worn down that even when the discard was happening, I was told if I just went back to the way it was, him being in control & dictating what we did, it would all work out. I saw through it finally & just kept having boundaries with detachment to his 2 year constant shaming. It was hell & when I said he needed to leave, he didn’t know what was happening. Silly me, I kept thinking, if he knew I was serious surely he would back down!!! Wrong, he just got his back burner plan B lined up & went on to say he just wants to live his life!!! Ha! He’s done nothing but have his way for 45 years! I’m soo grateful to be out!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Excellent advice. Thanks Stephanie.

Really good one, thank youuu ☺️😘💞🙏 you're good. This is very helpful.

Love love love. Thank you for your wisdom It helps more than you know

I'm so glad I found ur channel! Thank you ❤️

Thank you once again! It really is helping me deal with all of these kinds of people.

Wonderful advice thank you and great job😊

My ex was an eternal victim, the narcissism she had would undulate between EXTREME insecurity and extreme narcissism.

Thankyou for validating my experience here.

wow this really resonates today, thank you!

It’s some of the best advice I have heard yet on the matter .. thank you

I really love how you break this down. Thank u

Wow!! I wish I had learned this years ago!! I was oblivious!! 25 years of marriage, the last 7-8 have been terrible, slowly dying inside. I felt I was losing my sanity, I had no clue this behavior has a name, textbook!