Poundland Food Special

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Poundland Food Special - Pizza Snack

Рет қаралды 3,675,784

13 жыл бұрын

Can you feed yourself for only a pound a day? If the results of this video are anything to go by then the answer is a definite no.
I risked my health and stomach lining to bring you this horrifying slection of allegedly edible nastiness. First up are a pair of pizza snacks that manage to combine bread, cheese and tomato sauce into something truly horrifying - they frankly look like someone's already eaten them.
Pizza not your thing? Then how about some sugary treats that look like mutants and taste like rubber? Or a plastic cow that excretes jelly beans? No? There's no pleasing some people... Just be thankful KZfaq haven't invented a smell emitting device yet.
View more game reviews and hilarious* stuff @ / ashens (*Due to the subjective nature of humour, hilarity cannot be guaranteed. Your home is at risk if you do not keep up repayments on a mortgage or other loan secured on it.)

Пікірлер: 6 700

@letscringe9727 10 жыл бұрын

that pizza looks like a pizza from the Sims 2 on low res

@bwatever 10 жыл бұрын

omg that made me laugh so hard x'D

@sierrabunnyz9393 10 жыл бұрын

Hmmm... Strangely true... Lol

@sierrabunnyz9393 9 жыл бұрын

@wolliveryoutube 9 жыл бұрын

It's a shame I don't have anything clever to say. If I did, I don't think I can top you anyway.

@joshbacon8241 7 жыл бұрын

Let's Cringe I am the 100th person to like this comment!

@AndreSthegeekydude 3 жыл бұрын

2011: "Ewww, unexpired microwave pizza, man the stuff this Ashens guy puts up with!" 2020: 50 year old ox tongue

@TheHutchy01 3 жыл бұрын

The difference is the ox tongues were once food, fuck knows what this was.

@frds_skce 2 жыл бұрын

Anything body part of animal is better than processed food

@SonicBoone56 Ай бұрын

@@frds_skce not if it's a penis

@dja3116 5 жыл бұрын

I was utterly horrified when he showed that the expiration date was in 2011... until I checked the upload date and saw that this video is actually from 8 years ago.Then again, I suppose it would be more reasonable for the pizza to look like that if it was 8 years old.

@YusuphYT 5 жыл бұрын

yeah me too... was a little worried lol

@Mecrom 4 жыл бұрын

The camera quality is incredible for 2011

@raihanali3427 4 жыл бұрын

Mecrom it’s kind of funny how people assume that 2011 era had such shit camera quality. Remember that near the 2000s, 1080p was a thing so by no doubt 2011 would definitely have 1080p

@SuperFunkmachine 4 жыл бұрын

@@raihanali3427 KZfaq an internet up speeds tended to murder the resolution for years. While you could get 720p, half of that 360p was common.

@boost24 4 жыл бұрын

Henry Byrd I love his vids lol

@Setheroph1 Жыл бұрын

11 Years on and I can guarantee that Pizza Snack would look exactly the same today as it does in the thumbnail.

@larrymantic2635 Жыл бұрын

Yikes…

@JoeMama-me2yj Жыл бұрын

A buddy of mine actually had one in his house for a year,it legit looked the exact same as the day he bought it...he was about to eat it and then saw the date as he then told me...that is horrendous

@thepuffinman1055 Жыл бұрын

I concur

@magmasoul4001 9 ай бұрын

Agreed

@spacecat77 9 ай бұрын

@@JoeMama-me2yj mmmmmm, highly preserved cheap food

@taze-1106 4 жыл бұрын

This is 9 years old and he hasn’t changed one bit

@Uniqetz 4 жыл бұрын

in a good way*

@DigitalRag3X 4 жыл бұрын

Facts

@The.throngler 3 жыл бұрын

Perfect

@ABCEasyas-- 3 жыл бұрын

He hasn’t changed since 2006.

@michaelmatter1222 3 жыл бұрын

Well, to be fair, he's only 8-bit to begin with

@Mistardmuster 7 жыл бұрын

I used to watch these in college while eating lunch i got from a campus vending machine and sitting in the darkest recesses of the oldest concrete-est building there to make myself feel more thankful for my own shitty food. Thanks for the memories dude.

@chipser9574 4 жыл бұрын

beautiful comment

@xRizWaynex 4 жыл бұрын

Hahahaha me too xD Such dark times :')

@flipkiller8521 4 жыл бұрын

Sounds like a Vietcong experience.

@Snake_2066 3 жыл бұрын

holy shit i am so glad i am not the only one who did this!!!!

@mitchymitch2169 3 жыл бұрын

shitty food is the fuel of my life.

@WH250398 7 жыл бұрын

"Made in italy" is most likely a reference to the plastic bag.

@samsum3738 4 жыл бұрын

Now there s a thought .

@nequastar1826 2 жыл бұрын

I'd hope so, but something tells me there's still some factory in Italy cranking these things out to this very day, and some poor sod is out there, in a sad lonely kitchen, unwrapping one, and placing it into his cockroach infested microwave, sitting down at a rickety table, and eating it as his only meal of the day, before dragging himself to bed, and drowning his sorrows with a case of cheap Italian lager, passing out, dreading his dead end job the following morning.

@HotWheelsLeadingTheWay 2 жыл бұрын

@@nequastar1826 I think that it still exists today, making other dehydrated garbage, not just pizzas.

@peterclarke7240 Жыл бұрын

I feel seen.

@sirgideonofnirtheall-knowi1881 Жыл бұрын

@@nequastar1826 What a depressing picture you have painted here.

@user-go4mn4hq2t 3 жыл бұрын

roughly every 7 months or so without fail i get suggested and rewatch the exact same ashens videos including this, the chicken in a can, trekking burger and a few christmas specials. timeless videos

@redcastlefan Жыл бұрын

I'm on this years rewatch

@emeraldhill8294 Жыл бұрын

@@redcastlefan Never seen this one before; i want the cow,

@manya1088 Жыл бұрын

my childhood

@homonovus2505 11 ай бұрын

Amen! Those videos are absolute classics. I watched chicken in a can and trekking burger last night with two friends, laughed just as hard as the first time 😂

@CrazyBlonde13 9 ай бұрын

chicken in a can is my personal fav

@9wowable 8 жыл бұрын

How the fuck was this 5 years ago, like how. His videos hasn't changed at all.

@AlienTin 8 жыл бұрын

Haven't

@9wowable 8 жыл бұрын

Jake Williams oh shit yeah xd, I posted that comment at 1 am though.

@Jason0binladen 8 жыл бұрын

+László videos don't change either, unless you edit it and re-upload it

@aquoslover200 8 жыл бұрын

Which is because they're already perfect. Brown tattered couch and all.

@Aliandergaming 8 жыл бұрын

That's the trick. Why change a running system? :D

@dinovictor5 9 жыл бұрын

I have essentially watched this video over 30 times. And I am still entertained to this day.

@LD-yt1uy 9 жыл бұрын

Well you do have a Cod Ghosts pic as your profile picture, so I'm not surprised.

@blcoot 9 жыл бұрын

Liam Donaldson I'm sorry, I didn't know I had to have a certain profile picture, this is my old KZfaq account which I only use to watch videos, so if you would kindly, fuck off, that would be fantastic!

@EatMeGoogleStopChangingShit 9 жыл бұрын

Liam Donaldson Seeing how you have NO profile picture, you don't really have room to be talking, do you, lad?

@johntitor7989 9 жыл бұрын

Yes I agree.

@DemonSnacks 9 жыл бұрын

Blackout Edits He burned you, quit being so whiny.

@hotelmario510 6 жыл бұрын

"The Nauseating Taste of the Anti-Pizza" is a great name for a progressive rock band and/or album.

@lawrencecalablaster568 5 жыл бұрын

hotelmario510 That would go perfectly with Chocolate Starfish & The Hot-Dog Flavoured Water.

@dylanbarclay7622 5 жыл бұрын

Or a JK Rowling book 🤔😂

@andrewhibbert1848 5 жыл бұрын

I believe that's the third release from the Alex Trebek Project

@bigboyzak 5 жыл бұрын

Lawrence Calablaster penguinz0 ?

@Scrubworks 5 жыл бұрын

@@lawrencecalablaster568 I can't see prog-rock and nu-metal working together somehow.

@HenrikoMagnifico Жыл бұрын

The pizza looks like someone took a model of a pizza from a PS1 game and imported it into reality

@ChoppingtonOtter 7 жыл бұрын

Preparation guidelines: 1 Remove from packaging. 2. Put packaging and entire contents in bin.

@Jase_Gaming 7 жыл бұрын

3. then go and fucking get dominos you cheapass

@tylerstafford5731 7 жыл бұрын

Jase The G. Fighter 4. Go get help from a doctor or health professional

@MuchWhittering 7 жыл бұрын

This. Why would I go to Domino's when I could go to an independent place and get a pizza that's twice as nice for half the money?

@thehappylittlefoxakabenji8154 7 жыл бұрын

two steps ? just put the unopened package straight in the bin ! better still don't buy it in the first place !

@SuperIcyPhoenix 7 жыл бұрын

thehappylittlefox aka benji why are you spacing your punctuation from words?

@tjrizzo4642 9 жыл бұрын

is anyone else binge watching ashens food videos?

@arnold20139 9 жыл бұрын

I am! :D

@YerfdogGames 9 жыл бұрын

I started watching him a week ago and now I'm addicted

@Noremaad 9 жыл бұрын

***** We must mourn another soul joining us in the eternal purgatory that is Ashens. Forever will his mind be lost in the bog of cheap tat, as are we all.

@theaegis5795 9 жыл бұрын

***** same here!

@OverdriveXRSPS 9 жыл бұрын

Tj Morris yes

@YFNGamer1 6 жыл бұрын

Thats a frozen Italian MRE from World War 2.

@plushifoxed 5 жыл бұрын

The Interesting Nobody let's get this out onto a tray nice

@ramaglas 5 жыл бұрын

@@plushifoxed i see what you did there. Lol feels nice not to be alone

@christophercharles3602 5 жыл бұрын

There was a nice hiss on this one

@thestormtrooperwhodrankphd9990 4 жыл бұрын

@@plushifoxed *Is that a steve reference?* *nice*

@neonaffliction 4 жыл бұрын

@@plushifoxed mmmmkay

@yolo229fak4 3 жыл бұрын

That pizza snack whatever the hell seems like something you'd eat in fallout and gain +100 rad

@jinn8465 2 жыл бұрын

I can hear the geiger counter now.

@ZimVader-0017 8 жыл бұрын

That pizza looks like the one they would give us at lunch at school. Then they wondered why the attendance at the lunchroom dropped significantly when they announced that pizza was that day's menu.

@gothicanimegirl44 7 жыл бұрын

Zim Vader0017 the pizza was one of the only edible things that came out of our schools lunchroom

@ZimVader-0017 7 жыл бұрын

I heard from my sister that they stopped serving pizzas some months ago because the students were sneaking them out of the lunchroom and using them as frisbees outside XD

@adrianalemar2710 7 жыл бұрын

Zim Vader0017 no where I live when they serve pizza its fucking armageddon in the lunchroom

@michaelhall736 7 жыл бұрын

Zim Vader0017 The pizzas at the school I went to were decent.

@leonreynolds77 5 жыл бұрын

The pizza at my school were the best! Guess I was lucky.

@adronnmusic 9 жыл бұрын

Best names of the century: Jeff JimBob Montague Lance Corporal Fozzington The Man With A Plan Mick

@Mick_92 9 жыл бұрын

Haha

@JaySweatshirt 9 жыл бұрын

Chef excellence

@edgyskullface2154 9 жыл бұрын

Yin Yang Jeff excellence?

@Mick_92 9 жыл бұрын

"An excellent name"

@josef733 9 жыл бұрын

Joey Cirrito Who is Lance Corporal Fozzington?

@cthrugrl 4 жыл бұрын

just randomly got this old ass video in my recommendeds. one time i was stuck at the hospital at three in the morning due to my sick grandfather. the hospital kitchen was closed as was every restaurant in convenient distance, but on the far end of the hospital was a vending machine that had one of these pizzas in it, and because it was the only thing approaching real food i bought and ate it. suffice it to say that was probably the worst meal ive ever had in my life

@xkyleprivatex815 3 жыл бұрын

how much did it cost

@bannedthricelol8799 3 жыл бұрын

@@xkyleprivatex815 his will to live

@henrijs1733 3 жыл бұрын

@@bannedthricelol8799 his appetite for life

@jiajiajiaism 3 жыл бұрын

Was in a similar situation once, only at a train station and with a meat patty which had a best by date of over a year ahead, but didn't need refrigeration. Wasn't freeze-dried though, you could just eat it out of the packet without heating it up or adding water.

@peterclarke7240 3 жыл бұрын

Spots the pizza: his dignity. Pays for pizza: his sense of self-worth. Eats the pizza: his very soul.

@noahbaker5192 3 жыл бұрын

My favorite thing about ashens is when you stumble on a video, you can't tell whether it's from 10 years ago or yesterday unless you check the date. He's the most consistent content creator I've ever seen.

@Hikarmeme 9 жыл бұрын

"luckily it didn't land anywhere dirty" like that even matters

@katfujioka212 9 жыл бұрын

Dirt would probably make it taste better tbh

@Hikarmeme 9 жыл бұрын

Kei Fujioka it probably already contains it

@MisterMajora 8 жыл бұрын

+Hikari it looks like someone threw up blood and mouldy chunks on a hunk of shitty bread.

@Hikarmeme 8 жыл бұрын

MisterMajora Its someones cancer tumor thats been flattened and cooked

@MisterMajora 8 жыл бұрын

+Hikari yeah basically xD

@lewis72 8 жыл бұрын

It is with very heavy heart that I have to announce that the Poundland Pizza does not seem to be available any more. I'm sure that you will all be shocked and deeply saddened by this terrible news. I will be here for those of you who wish to open your heart about this terrible loss and remember the good times. Bless you all.

@thatone846 8 жыл бұрын

:( why lewis? Why did this have to happen! WHY!!!

@lewis72 8 жыл бұрын

Jacob Parsons I know, I know. Utterly devastating. I'm still trying to come to terms with this deadful loss myself. We must be strong though and soldier on.

@footymad2027 8 жыл бұрын

but I love the poundland pizza more than my child!

@_hotpocket295 8 жыл бұрын

You can still get hunger strikes pots at asda

@CJODell12 8 жыл бұрын

+William Daintree Hunger Breaks.

@MrWolfSnack 9 ай бұрын

3:30 the soft "plunk" of the pizza onto the dish, the dead silence with only a small sniffle, and staring at this dog vomit on a bun....what a beautifully filmed moment.

@sodaddict 4 жыл бұрын

Where are they now: Jeff: Died from a drug overdose, labelled as a suicide Jim Bob: Arrested for hate speech and sexual misconduct Montegeaux: Decapitated by Ashens Lance Corporal Fuzzington: Lead his battalion to the war against Kim Jon Un, became a historical war hero The Man with a Plan: Lead to unsuccessful careers as a professional wrestler, rapper, and porn star. Now works at the Blockbuster museum Mick: Overcame cancer and now works as an advocate for stem cell research

@plebisMaximus 4 жыл бұрын

I'm sure working at the Blockbuster museum was the plan all along.

@theextracrispycolonel9504 3 жыл бұрын

But can you truly be unsuccessful If you always have a plan?

@em5345- 3 жыл бұрын

The sequel will focus on Mick and The Man With A Plan

@em5345- 3 жыл бұрын

The prequel will focus on Lance's backstory.

@babsbylow6869 3 жыл бұрын

Nice! The Breakfast Club ending.

@rabidrabbitshuggers 9 жыл бұрын

I was going to make a joke about British cuisine, until Ashens dutifully noted that it was made in Italy. Now I'm just at a fucking loss for words.

@sammorgan5836 9 жыл бұрын

As he said there still capable of making shit

@BenjaminGoose 9 жыл бұрын

Sam Morgan where?

@Deathbringer3557 9 жыл бұрын

BenjaminGoose hue

@hiddenguy67 10 ай бұрын

hi how are you now its been 8 years

@rabidrabbitshuggers 10 ай бұрын

@@hiddenguy67Not bad how are you?

@ch48_ 8 жыл бұрын

"Great, the cow is constipated after the first jelly bean" ~Stuart Ashen, 2011

@ethervagabond 5 жыл бұрын

"Oh blimey it shot across the room!" the pizza is agressive

@smiler..bestie2083 5 жыл бұрын

What an original comment lol

@taylorberry1735 3 жыл бұрын

"Oh Shit!"

@DynoSkrimisher 2 жыл бұрын

"Just another day in the life of Jimmy Nutron." *Musical distort*

@uwu_smeg Жыл бұрын

i'd be lashing out if i was confined to that kind of existence as well

@liltoon4335 4 жыл бұрын

Pizzetta actually does mean “small pizza”, ashens is a Roman emperor confirmed

@Tokmurok 3 жыл бұрын

Not same word in Latin try again

@liltoon4335 3 жыл бұрын

@@Tokmurok why you tryna shit on my parade

@diobrando1736 3 жыл бұрын

@D'niro Gavin Either you're pulling my strings, or you're an absolute lunatic. The Roman's main languages were Latin and Greek if you weren't joking.

@HolyKhaaaaan 2 жыл бұрын

He certainly has the accent to be an imperious and sarcastic Roman.

@liltoon4335 2 жыл бұрын

Kinda mad I got a hundred likes Subscribe guys

@samosmapper9687 7 жыл бұрын

The pizza is aggressive.

@melatoninqueen6914 5 жыл бұрын

Samos Mapper i understood that reference

@mitchinatr7093 4 жыл бұрын

Oh shit.

@MegaZombieman115 4 жыл бұрын

Silent Solitude (Music repeats as it gradually gets distorted).

@Moechtegernpilot1 3 жыл бұрын

Saar Protectorate

@localfagservices 3 жыл бұрын

lmao

@Gamerchick221 8 жыл бұрын

It looks like vomit on bread.

@RevorDragon 8 жыл бұрын

+Gamerchick221 I'm not convinced it isn't.

@Gamerchick221 8 жыл бұрын

+Water Saga Would you eat it?

@RevorDragon 8 жыл бұрын

Gamerchick221 Well, if i was starving.... I think i'd eat my fingers first.

@Gamerchick221 8 жыл бұрын

+Water Saga Smart. lol

@ShardzCR 5 жыл бұрын

Maybe it *is* vomit on bread..?

@NespeCoaching 4 жыл бұрын

8 years later and I can confirm that Poundland still sell these crimes against pizzakind. I can also confirm they are no better than they were.

@ACOnetwork 4 жыл бұрын

That is actual crime to people ☹️😒😋

@theodorelehman 4 жыл бұрын

"A rogues gallery of freakazoids." This also describes my co-workers at a few of the temp jobs I had.

@TheSonicfan1231000 9 жыл бұрын

3:23 the pizza is aggressive.

@kylebutt9338 9 жыл бұрын

Bond with me ashens

@MultiBear64 8 жыл бұрын

Ashens, do an order of pizza for dinner

@gideonsanchez8476 8 жыл бұрын

just another day in the life of ashens

@kaxorghostproduction 8 жыл бұрын

oh shit

@jifmoit4182 8 жыл бұрын

Let's have some bonding time son.

@Matt19matt19 9 жыл бұрын

store in a cool, dry place.... like the bin 😂😂😂😂😂😂

@isaacbrown7829 9 жыл бұрын

+Matt N HA

@Mostly_Childish 8 жыл бұрын

+A Wrinkly Fod This isn't the escapists! Don't you HA me!

@isaacbrown7829 8 жыл бұрын

Jack NO! but i was giving a HA to Matt N, also, ancient comment is ancient

@Mostly_Childish 8 жыл бұрын

A Wrinkly Fod I know, I was just making a funny, besides, it was about a week old. Ancient is a year. IMO.

@rune1909gamer 8 жыл бұрын

+Jack NO! So you're telling me this video is essentially prehistoric for you?

@whachadoowin 10 ай бұрын

Why does the pizza look like a low resolution pizza you'd find in a videogame from the Xbox 360

@Madchris8828 10 ай бұрын

That is the most weirldy accurate way to describe it😂

@budgerigarer 10 ай бұрын

More like something from a late 90s PC game lol

@Takimeko 7 ай бұрын

Just gotta wait an ungodly amount of time for it's textures to load in.

@nickwillard4471 Жыл бұрын

Imagine finding a video format so successful that it feels fresh more than a decade later. This video feels as modern as one released yesterday.

@lunerd 10 жыл бұрын

I seriously love his dog just sniffed it before taking two steps back. Then looked at the camera as if saying 'Seriously?'

@Wemius61 5 ай бұрын

Same - and just as the video cut out it looked as though doglet was about to do that shovelling motion with its nose that they do when they're trying to bury something.

@obscurareborn 8 жыл бұрын

"Store in a cool dry place...like a bin..."

@hamzerpanzer 3 жыл бұрын

@@iixxxii7xxxii582 Bin smoothie

@jokunortti 7 жыл бұрын

In Finland we call those "roiskeläppä" which roughly translates to "splatter flap".

@krashd 6 жыл бұрын

Sounds like a slang word for labia.

@Dinoslay 5 жыл бұрын

There is also the term called "laatta" which either describes a tile or a flat pool of vomit.

@Takimeko 3 жыл бұрын

Splatter Flap would be a good band name.

@uwu_smeg Жыл бұрын

always thought it was "mudflap" since the nickname comes from the automotive part. the cheap ones are my jam, and somehow manage to look nicer than the poundland ones despite being (presumably) cheaper for quite a long time. i'd still try that though

@missobama1688 4 жыл бұрын

Bruh I'm so stupid I didn't realize the video was uploaded in 2011, so I started thinking "shit ashens abouta die"

@sponge260 4 жыл бұрын

Thought exactly the same thing. His vids are exactly the same still

@Armadurapersonal 7 жыл бұрын

Packed in China? That means the candy was shipped from Ireland to China for packaging and then back to the UK for selling?

@afunnyman 7 жыл бұрын

It's poundland, they didn't ship them for long scale production, they likely bought it from cheap providers with all sorts of guff.

@juniorbr1179 7 жыл бұрын

What's your profile picture from alek?

@painfullystoic3297 7 жыл бұрын

shijou takane from idolmaster series

@worldcure7883 4 жыл бұрын

@@juniorbr1179 a photo in fact the last known photo of notable Rabbinic influencer Sammal El Hayad before entering a firearms range to prepare and pray for success with his 2017 Easter Massacre.

@toogaytolift9176 4 жыл бұрын

@@worldcure7883 can I have a link to this because I literally cant find it anywhere

@The5thVienneseSchool 10 жыл бұрын

We have a store called Dollar Tree here in the United States where all the garbage costs $1. It's just about as bad. Being poor and stupid as I am I made the mistake of purchasing their "Jalapeño Cheese Bites." I rightfully deserved that food poisoning they gave me.

@3DSuperWaffle 10 жыл бұрын

In Canada, we have Dollarama. Same story. NEVER. BUY. THE. MAYONNAISE.

@bigjohnsbreakfastlog5819 Жыл бұрын

@@3DSuperWaffle Sounds like someone who bought the mayonnaise.

@sabrearashi302 Жыл бұрын

I bought and ate the similar potato cheese bites Dollar Tree had on offer, but fortunately I prepared them in my air fryer, so apparently it nuked any disease and I was spared. They were still awful.

@MrWolfSnack 9 ай бұрын

they still sell those snapps jalapeno poppers. they used to sell cheese sticks, i haven't seen them anymore. they were OK if you had about a gallon of tomato sauce to dip them with, but whatever cheap cheese was in them, my colon didn't like that. was ill for about 2 days. it happened both times i ate them a few years apart, so I said nope.

@blxze6023 4 жыл бұрын

5:45 anyone hear him call for his dog Oscar? cute af

@corbonthec0b Жыл бұрын

7:15 “Just be glad they don’t have smelling on KZfaq… yet” 11 years later and we still can’t smell our videos. Come on KZfaq…

@bitchy-cryptid 8 жыл бұрын

3:23 the pizza was trying to kill itself before it killed the consumer

@foolsfortune1677 5 жыл бұрын

But, alas, nothing will stop Ashens from making the video.

@liv3351 8 жыл бұрын

3:23 THE PIZZA IS AGGRESSIVE

@XZagatoX 8 жыл бұрын

Damn, beat me to it!

@ShortFingeredShreder 8 жыл бұрын

Fucking beat me to it!

@Gix 8 жыл бұрын

LOL XD actually it is!!!

@lavendericedtea 8 жыл бұрын

Oh shit.

@lavendericedtea 8 жыл бұрын

***** For what reason?

@cross2four 5 жыл бұрын

7 years later: Still no smell on KZfaq. Thank God.

@MiniMii550 Жыл бұрын

My favorite thing about Ashens is that he's the most consistent KZfaqr, I does not matter one bit how old the video is, production quality and content is exactly the same and is in absolutely no need of improvement

@moxgirl5 7 жыл бұрын

"Let's name them, shall we? Jeff, Jimbob, Montague, Lance Corporal Fozzington, The Man With The Plan and Mick" Brilliant xD

@Jaytwisty23 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah we heard, we watched the video too 🤦

@Jaytwisty23 4 жыл бұрын

@D'niro Gavin completely pointless though ain't it as we've already watched it 🤦

@themysteriouscatperson9483 4 жыл бұрын

Iamthedanger Bro, what’s you’re problem, people just like what they hear in the video, think it’s funny, and single it out, it’s just people having fun, you need to chill out

@Jaytwisty23 4 жыл бұрын

@@themysteriouscatperson9483 it's 'your' problem, not 'you're' learn to spell. And it's a rediculous thing to comment 🤦

@themysteriouscatperson9483 4 жыл бұрын

Iamthedanger Why are you focusing on one part of my comment instead of the entire point, a simple misspelling doesn’t forgive you for being a dick

@KaTzaNdSTuFf 10 жыл бұрын

XD He always has some sarcastic comment that makes me nearly fall out of my chair. For this video: "Twist head down to open. Wow, just like a real cow!" XD

@mamaweegee123 2 жыл бұрын

The fact that I remember watching this when it first got uploaded and then looking at the upload date now really puts it into perspective how fast life actually moves

@emmahallows 7 жыл бұрын

"Unfortunately I don't have a microwave that can directly heat time" died 1000 times at that rip me

@teknikal_domain 8 жыл бұрын

"Made by a company called pizzetta" That's not how Italian works...

@guppyfishdaniel 10 жыл бұрын

These "disgusting food" specials ACTUALLY make me hungry!

@bmg1001 10 жыл бұрын

Oh god

@guppyfishdaniel 10 жыл бұрын

Har

@xRainbowDashx100 10 жыл бұрын

yeah.

@johnbenton4488 10 жыл бұрын

DinoFan7777 It's only slightly better than wet squid!

@lcameeno1 9 жыл бұрын

John Benton mmmmm dried squid

@Audioworm 6 жыл бұрын

"It's like a pun, only shit!" That's redundant, Stuart.

@tomsmith4930 3 жыл бұрын

Ashens: “Here goes the marshmallow” Me: *hears crunch* Also me: “what the FaWk”

@lungse.2565 3 жыл бұрын

The mutant chick had hardened icing on it's head.

@SomeRandoQuacko 3 жыл бұрын

@@lungse.2565 Excuse me, the name's Montague.

@GrandmasterofWin 8 жыл бұрын

Ashens would be perfect to have around in a post apocalyptic setting. You'd be eating whatever garbage you could find but at least you'd be entertained.

@hmorris09123 10 жыл бұрын

i nearly died when he said "i don't know What that is but its holding a time bomb so im not going to argue with it" XD

@LordSubtext Жыл бұрын

"Unfortunately I don't have a microwave which can directly heat time, but nevermind, perhaps i'll get one in the future." - ashens circa 2011 Still waiting....

@MrSlendyMannn Жыл бұрын

3:21 Even the “pizza” itself tried to save you from trying it by attempting to fly away.

@EvilDoresh 10 жыл бұрын

Real moving parts? I prefer fictional stationary parts.

@JudgeTyBurns 10 жыл бұрын

The pizza is aggressive!

@Chillius 9 жыл бұрын

oh shit

@macofalltrades6396 3 жыл бұрын

I had never noticed that Chef Excellence's Most Excellent Gin was in fact from Tesco.

@emeraldhill8294 Жыл бұрын

John Hurt drinks it in The chestnut tree cafe.

@JunkieRemix 10 ай бұрын

Jeez, this video was released a year before the first Avengers movie but looks and sounds like it was posted last month. Guess if it works, why change it

@jeremyfisher42 8 жыл бұрын

Whenever I feel hungry I go back to this video

@CaleyWarrior101 8 жыл бұрын

My new diet plan

@diamondfailer11 8 жыл бұрын

I am so hungry right now i would eat that pizza as a whole.

@DudeTheMighty 8 жыл бұрын

Whenever I feel hungry, I get something to eat. (If you're worried about calories, eat some vegetables. Loads of nutrients and it'd be pretty damn hard to eat too many of them. ^_^)

@DudeTheMighty 8 жыл бұрын

***** Yes.

@xxcutestangelx 10 жыл бұрын

I bought a sandwich from Poundland for 50p (as it was going to go out do date) It was surprisingly really good and was lacking mould which was also a bonus.

@jocookham4810 10 жыл бұрын

Are you still alive? ;)

@SouthwesternEagle 10 жыл бұрын

Mould? Is that the British spelling of "mold"?

@flypie86532 10 жыл бұрын

SouthwesternEagle yeah it is

@flypie86532 10 жыл бұрын

***** Eagle is American so he asked for the British spelling not from that point of view... You're also right though

@derpzilla3302 5 жыл бұрын

0:30 i swear to god if some kid says “aYe lOoK cHeF pEPe”

@raph2954 4 жыл бұрын

The thing is, you must be a kid or recently a kid if you even know what that is.

@JunkieRemix 4 жыл бұрын

I legit just said that now

@BonnieBunny118 4 жыл бұрын

I said that when I was little

@ajaxulated6289 4 жыл бұрын

i dont understand this-

@destinytipper1834 4 жыл бұрын

Raph im 19 now and i watch sml with my kid😭

@King_Jimbo 3 жыл бұрын

“Great, constipated after the first jelly bean.” 🤣🤣🤣

@MrAlex3461 7 жыл бұрын

"store in a cool dry place like the bin"

@Luciffrit 8 жыл бұрын

I didn't notice that the first time. "Titanium Oxide" as in the stuff they use to make paint with.

@plasticwalnut7650 8 жыл бұрын

Oh my fucking GOD, who in the right mind would let that crap in Jelly Beans, of all things?!

@Luciffrit 8 жыл бұрын

Plastic Walnut mmm eat up. =D

@plasticwalnut7650 8 жыл бұрын

Anal Prolapse In My Bum When I'm Filled With Cum By Onii-Chan And His Friends While I'm A Cumdump Okay, pardon my ignorance about it then, but don't you think it's a bit much to call me twat? Either way, but I decided to look up on Titanium Dioxide, and it seems there's a large gray area concerning the chemical used in foods, vitamins, and cosmetics. It's generally considered safe by the FDA, but there's been some experiments which shows that it is possibly a carcinogen, a substance which can weaken the immune system. Now that I think about it, since this isn't affecting everyone who uses it, I believe it is possible that it only occurs in certain individuals, depending on what's going on in their body, such as an already weakened immune system and such.

@demonetizeddemonetisedinmy1890 8 жыл бұрын

Plastic Walnut Well, bacon increases chances of cancer, but that doesn't stop us.

@plasticwalnut7650 8 жыл бұрын

Anal Prolapse In My Bum When I'm Filled With Cum By Onii-Chan And His Friends While I'm A Cumdump That's true, and now that I know a bit more about Titanium Oxide, it's not as bad as it initially sounded. I'm just a bit skeptical of what the food industry's been doing in the United States ever since it was revealed that farmers had been feeding their livestock arsenic for over seventy years, yet the FDA nor USDA had done nothing about it.

@sucio- Жыл бұрын

I love that i can go back 11 years and the format and quality is identical to a video released recently.

@mukishin1204 5 жыл бұрын

Coming back to this after all these years, and it's amazing to me how little has changed on this channel. I love you Stewart. "Platonically."

@ActuallyTragic 9 жыл бұрын

"A flying pizza!" Dad, the pizza is aggressive!

@guy7285 9 жыл бұрын

That pepperoni pizza looks like one of the really nasty bacteria cultures we grow in lab at my university.

@chris86simon 8 жыл бұрын

+Astra Militarum I actually thought that was mold.

@dontwatchtheworldburn3673 8 жыл бұрын

+chris86simon I Can't Believe It's Not Mold.

@sneakycactus8815 8 жыл бұрын

+Don'tWatchTheWorldBURN hahaha lol nice one. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER except it's ur way

@slayerficated 8 жыл бұрын

+JT Smith Thanks for the explanation, Sherlock.

@XrisD147 7 жыл бұрын

I thought this was the most depressing thing I had ever seen then I saw the Christmas Dinner in a Can one.

@Name2site 7 жыл бұрын

"Yeah there's something horrible going on in my mouth. And I'm not reading the script to a Michael Bay film." ROFLMAO. Beautifully put.

@JoshuaKujo 8 жыл бұрын

A small pizza would be a Petit-za.

@GoofyGoober2263 8 жыл бұрын

I'm going to steal your idea and make a company.

@LackadaisicalWizard 8 жыл бұрын

+Jesus Gonzalez coz ur jesus you can

@JoshuaKujo 8 жыл бұрын

Jesus Gonzalez Give me 10%

@GoofyGoober2263 8 жыл бұрын

+imafirindalazor no

@theirongiantbigdawg 8 жыл бұрын

+Jesus Gonzalez lol

@veronikafinberg2975 10 жыл бұрын

I love how the Domino's ad came on the start for me xD

@JG-tk7ov Жыл бұрын

He’s risking his life our entertainment

@bentarnowski2494 6 жыл бұрын

Listening to this with some poundland headphones, great quality 😂

@mitchinatr7093 4 жыл бұрын

Best Ashens experience.

@neoman289151 9 жыл бұрын

How do you fuck up pizza? Seriously, how the fuck do you fuck up pizza!? Dough, sauce, cheese, toppings, it's not rocket science.

@melzoa 9 жыл бұрын

Uuuhhh.... You can mess up easily! Imagine a 1 year old cooking pizza, it'd take 3 weeks for just a baby to make atleast 1. Slice. Of. Pizza...

@soupgroup1810 9 жыл бұрын

Le' Moob Man You shouldn't cook pizza one slice at a time.

@melzoa 9 жыл бұрын

SoupGroup I know.

@MotherSoren 9 жыл бұрын

Le' Moob Man But, from 1-5 years old I always helped hand-make the pizzas for the pizza shop my mom worked at underneath my house :c

@BenjaminGoose 9 жыл бұрын

I think it's easier than you think to fuck up food.

@1wborg 9 жыл бұрын

4 years later, still no smell on youtube

@calk2002 4 жыл бұрын

6:19 “Appears to be comprised of racist caricatures of all known nations and creeds” 😂

@tapezone331 4 жыл бұрын

Me: Mum can we have pizza? Mum: We have pizza at home Pizza at home:

@khmerkandal121 4 жыл бұрын

@@xddistance2987 *underrated

@xddistance2987 4 жыл бұрын

@@khmerkandal121 o

@Sk8boardpsych0 4 жыл бұрын

God, this is cringe.

@garethgriffiths8577 4 жыл бұрын

Ein after a jays after i would devour that.x

@Jaytwisty23 4 жыл бұрын

What about the pizza at home? These jokes are so fucking shit, give it a rest!

@ChrisManley1994 9 жыл бұрын

"Store in a cool dry place..................like the bin!" Hahahahahahahahahaha

@MrSauceman09 10 жыл бұрын

"It's constipated after the first jelly bean!" I laughed so hard that I think I released a jelly bean of my own!

@Amieee 6 жыл бұрын

The thing I love about Ashens is that you can watch a video from 2011 and still piss yourself because it's content is still amazing.

@Dinoslay 5 жыл бұрын

Pizzetta sounds like Vegeta's long lost cousin in Dragon Ball.

@zackl2000 8 жыл бұрын

As a famous person once said. "It's pizza time dude!" - a mutated turtle

@em5345- 3 жыл бұрын

Ah yes, the famous artist and pizza eater

@Curlyheart 3 жыл бұрын

Pizza time

@AcornElectron 9 жыл бұрын

1 and a half million views. On a poundland pizza vid. The world is on its arse.

@555stargazer 9 жыл бұрын

you're telling me...

@Callllum 9 жыл бұрын

How would this mean the worlds on its arse lmao

@ToxicJuiceb0x 9 жыл бұрын

+Gareth Ellis Oh no,

@brendan2550 8 жыл бұрын

+TheBettadorEditor arse is another word for ass....

@TheSlimshadyrocks 8 жыл бұрын

But honestly don't be such an ass some people have different tastes, respect that

@Anvilshock 6 жыл бұрын

"Twist head down to open - Wow, just like a real cow!" - Lost it.

@otakunthevegan4206 6 жыл бұрын

Anvilshock Why do I like that joke? I guess it's my dark sense of humour or liking that he knows what happens inside a slaughterhouse. Also I grew up in a farming family which made going vegan easier knowing what I know about the animal agriculture industry.

@peterclarke7240 Жыл бұрын

"Luckily, it didn't land anywhere dirty." thank christ. I'd hate to think of the poor dirt having THAT thing land on it.

@DrawContent 10 жыл бұрын

You're the funniest man in the world. I was hysterical at this video.

@MyCoolboy17 10 жыл бұрын

well then if this made you burst out laughing you aint seen nothing yet

@DrawContent 10 жыл бұрын

Oh I have. Watch the xmas 2012 special. the santa on the swing OMG

@M3iscool 9 жыл бұрын

Is Poundland similar to The Dollar Store in America?

@EmporerAxel 9 жыл бұрын

Sculpture Junkie yep

@joebloggs1691 9 жыл бұрын

Viking War Pickle cheaper tho

@AgentTasmania 9 жыл бұрын

+Shan Smet the GBP is worth considerably more than the USD, giving Poundland much more room for decent stuff to still profit

@Xenro66 9 жыл бұрын

+AgentTasmania That's because our economy is better xdddddddd

@AgentTasmania 9 жыл бұрын

Jordan O'C Exchange rates are a really weird concept if you think about it

@rucu8311 5 жыл бұрын

I've solved world hunger. One looks at this and no-one will be hungry ever again.

@louismendes4743 4 жыл бұрын

damn, tesco value gin. the minimal branding makes it look like a pharmaceutical grade liquor for alcoholics looking to self-euthanize. The pizza looks like a staph infection.