I have been watching for about three weeks. This has made a huge difference for me in understanding my own cptsd at age 50. With your help and the books by Peter Walker, I feel myself walking towards that light at the end of the tunnel with clearirity in my eyes.

I don't care what any one says about you being "qualified" to help people. You are helping me so much, and some days you are the only person other than my children who keeps me tethered to this existence. Thank you for keeping me here another day.

As a therapist who treats trauma, I recommend your videos and daily practice to all of my clients. This is spot on.

" money isn't everything until you don't have any .... then it's everything!"

Yes. I was once high IQ. Married to a narcissist for 20 years. I could feel my IQ sliding downhill. Divorce helped, I have come a long way since then.

I try not to let my past control me, but I still find social interactions very hard. I'm 68, and working on it every day. Overall I'm happy. Thanks for a thoughtful video. 🎉

So sad to hear you're getting the odd hate mail Anna. Here's some love mail to rebalance things! You do great work and I thank you.

When the student is ready, the master appears. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Quitting gluten really helped my depression and fatigue.

The brain fog combined with high expectations from my giftedness in my case actually led to an immense fear of failure. The past few weeks I was finally able to pinpoint the reasons and stop blaming myself. Growth is on the way ❤

A kind lady gave me a soft pink bear when i bravely admitted i hadnt been given soft toys as a young child. This pink bear is now my self love therapy bear. I hold this bear and tell it gently how loved safe and precious she is and that i will not allow anyone to hurt her again and she is now safe and loved. When i get triggered, i make sure to hold the bear close and allow my tears to come and nurture the inner child inside me who was hurt and cried alone so much and no one came to hold me and tell me i was loved and safe. The adults were not there emotionally so now i try very hard to be there for my hurt inner child of those past years. I tell her through holding this bear that i will never neglect her or allow others to abuse her. I will allways be on her side. I will never let her down. Its been so amazing for me to give my inner hurt child all the loving words and attention that i lacked back in those harsh days. I also was given a doll without a mouth and very big eyes and raggy clothes. I see her as me as a child. Big eyes and no ability to speak out and raggy clothes i wore again and again. These days i try hard to wear different clothes every day and take time to dress. I am 73 yrs old and its hard to do these things still but the bear helps and now the doll tells me that i need to speak out and look for kind people first when i do. I use to open up to the abuser types and it got me nowhere. I was looking for love where there was none. Now i see that there are really loving people who do care and i avoid the shitty ones who only want to steal your light. Its been hard but the pink bear has really been a great self therapy tool. That bear is soft pink and so lovely to hold. I hold my little girl that was not held through this soft pink bear. Thankyou for your videos❤

Start loving yourself and respecting yourself. Dignity, civility and respect.

Oh wow, 29 minutes in and feeling overwhelmed. I fit most categories but have a 30 year disability that makes it difficult to manage life on top of CPTSD. You're amazing. I'm so glad fairies are real. I'll be sticking around. Thank you, Anna.

Trauma is linked to illness...see the work of Dr. Gabor Mate. He has a book called When the Body Says No. He also does work linking childhood trauma and addiction. Also, I always watch your videos to ground myself. You are amazing Anna!

My sister used to trigger me. Ive learned to recognize it. The first time I recognized the pattern I didn't react. She was surprised and maybe a little grateful that the interaction didn't escalate. We have a better relationship ( for now)

There was a very kind crossing guard in my childhood. She didn’t know how much she meant to me, but I’ve tried to emulate her sweetness to others. It helps!

Omg. Several years ago, I too went to the doctor because I thought I had early onset Alzheimer's. I didn't but I never made the connection to dysfunctional upbringing. Thank you for mentioning that. ❤

I find it hard to imagine anyone would leave negative comments for someone trying to help anyone, you keep being as helpful as you are.

2 things that are upsetting for me to accept: 1 If we ever do studies, I'm quite certain we will find that most people with moderate to severe mental health struggles have had trauma in their childhoods. And 2 Our health systems aren't concerned with saving health care costs, quite the opposite I'm afraid. Helping people is unfortunately second to profitability, especially within mental health and addiction. It also looks to me like elderly care is beginning to be financially exploitative 💔💔

So me ! I’m so messed up I don’t even know how to take care of me, Since I was 5, I’ve HAD to take care of everyone BUT me ! Thank you for helping us !❤ saying thank you seems so inadequate compared to how much you are spot on , the brain fog you describe is so how I feel ! The intelligence loss is so exactly me ! Thank you also for making me aware that it doesn’t matter if my parents stood there and told me they were sorry, the damage is done and now it’s up to me to get past it ! I’ve spent my whole life blaming, never realizing that it didn’t matter, can you understand what I’m trying to say ? In a nutshell? Thank you with all my heart for sharing your wisdom ❤

I've read "The Body Keeps The Score"... it's a great book, I sent a copy to my mom (we were traumatized together) and she refuses to even acknowledge anything. It's crushing because I will never, ever have that relationship with my mom that I've always wanted/needed.

Jill: Literally 40 years later, I am STILL trying to get my mind wrapped around the ENORMOUS betrayal I experienced. The whole experience was one big lie - and I fell for it. Just BEGINNING to experience the SHOCK - even after 40 years. Still trying to identify and pick up the pieces - - - Wow!!!

Calming your triggers down is the hardest part of healing Cptsd.

my god, that dementia part hits home. It got really bad for me after a certain situation and i got panic attacks, so i went to my doctor and told her i feel like my brain is not working correctly anymore and I might develop something like alzheimers or schizophrenia.

Anna ❤ Everytime I watch your videos, I just feel so heard, seen and understood. "Oh my, she talks about ME!" I just want to thank you, for this amazing work you do! I love your videos, helps me so much to understand myself. And gives me great advices for moving forward 🥰 Psychotherapy was way too disregulating for me too. It was a great way to find clarity and see how I had taken the blame for all the abuse I went through. But since I have for years been so dissociated from my body, and was basically living life from upstairs (my head). I had no connection with my feelings, I even lost connection with ordinary body signs like full bladder, thirst, hunger, temperature, tired - everything was so mixed up too. And my brain went directly into a "how can I fix this" mode. Which is kind of counterproductive when you are tired and all you need is rest/sleep, not to find something to fix the tiredness.🙉🙈 Going to talk therapy just made things even worse for me, cause not only did all the stuff from the past come up to the surface, but I had no idea how to process all the emotions that suddenly started to boil up. It was way too much for my system to handle, I felt so overwhelmed, it ended up with my nervous system to crash. Took me almost a year to recover from it. Finding your daily practice helped me a lot in the beginning, to rid my thoughts of all the fear that kept ruminating my head all day/all night. So thank you for that, what a life saver ❤ Now I'm learning somatic experiencing, I find that to be very helpful and a much safer way to get in touch with my body again. For years, I have been so sleep deprived, it has not felt safe to relax/go to sleep at night. So I have usually just kept going, until I eventually pass out. And of course, not felt replenished when I wake up again. Now I'm finally able to calm myself down and go to bed more like normal people! 😅 I so wished someone could have told me this 20 years ago, when I got diagnosed with CFS. That nervous system disregulation due to childhood trauma was the original cause of all my symptoms! Oh well! Better late, than never! 🤗 You mentioned a sheet for 10 things we can do to re-regulate our nervous system, but I can't find it in the description.

You are a proof of what i said so many times, that it doesnt always rely on what education or degree u have, but life experience can be as good and often better than education.

Really absorbing the fact that nobody's coming to save me, when I see people around me seemingly being saved all the time...is really difficult

The older I get, the more difficult it is for me to interact with people. Why do the symptoms get more harsh when we het older?

I met a mother and her son today. And witnessed her blaming others for her son's failing to win a competition. She blamed the staff for not being a fair judge and belittled others kids and their inability to win. Her son started to cry, they both were stressed out because they did get the prize of a fair competition. Lord have mercy on the mother and her son. It is such a trauma to live a life thinking you are better than everyone else with no humility nor gratefulness for life. How will they feel better nmand happy thinking they are better than others and aim for the prize and not the journey.

Oh goodness. You've done it again, Anna! You've basically described me to a T and come out with a video so poignant to my present circumstances that it's creepy (or maybe it's fate, and I was destined to see this)... Just today, I was journaling ("daily practice" style) about one of my jobs. I've been lucky enough to have a paid performance gig this year, and while I'm grateful, I've been scared shitless that I will "give myself away." We just finished our intensive dress rehearsal week, and it's taken all of my self control to shut my mouth and not get myself in trouble. No one else in my cast or my directors seem to feel the need to edit themselves, and I get earfuls of their political and mainstream views, and am assumed to agree with them. There are a few members that I suspect don't like me (this might be my intuition or it might be the CPTSD lying to me). Every time I do open my mouth to offer input or share something about myself, I end up later at home condemning myself for opening my mouth and wishing I could just shut up in company. I play small in an industry where self promotion is key and getting along with cast mates and directors is essential... Therefore, I stay small. I am doing the DP everyday, and it helps, but I still drop into this self editing and judgment place every time I'm in the company of those who I perceive as potentially threatening due to ideological differences. To add to that, I've always been different - thought differently, lived differently, very controversial - and I can't seem to figure out how to authentically be myself while getting along with others (or if I can't get along, how to have the boundaries to stand up for myself or others when necessary OR hold my tongue when necessary, being that I'm in a professional setting). Being kind and asking others how they are is something I HAVE been working on, however, and I can see how that opens up the smallest of connections to these people in my life right now.

It is heartbreaking to hear that you would receive hate mail!! You have helped me, and so many people, so very much. I just wanted to say thank you XXX

Hey there, Anna, this is an absolutely fabulous compilation of "ground level" info and encouragement on moving forward and healing from C-PTSD. Thank you for sharing all your years of experience so accessibly!

I am so relieved you didn't listen to the negative voices and play small. YOUR HUGE. It is almost like a mirror when you talk. I am seeing you say exactly how I live and act.Ughhh. I appreciate you so much. It's so foggy I can barely see my hand in front of me. I get so much from the community....thank you. Anna I am triggered so dysregulated and confused....again. My situation is complicated. I have a hard time concentrating on your videos right now but I am trying. Never give up, Never surrender. Thank you Anna

Unrelated Side Note: Guhrl your hair is lookin' so good lately, Props!

I am so grateful this vid came out rn... I've been a fan of CCF vids for about 10 months to a year and this is a great refresher! *And* lemme just brag a lil bit: I had my first coffee date/girl date/whatever date yesterday since almost 10 years of living back with my codependent narcissistic parent, and this vid is helping bring me down and stay Grounded as I clean the house 😅 I *so* hope other people know that this doesn't have to last.... CCF is def that "big sis" energy we all need sometimes 😂❤❤❤

Anna, your videos are so inspiring! I think I can change! I tried 37 antidepressants. None helped! Your suggestions have in just 4 days. Thank you for your work! It is helping me!

WOW; your intro is SO ME in my early teens to early 20s. When I was busy with family-raising and busy busy, I didn't care as much, but now it's quieter... I'm almost 60 and starting to fall back into it and struggling. Much thanks for this! It really spoke to me.

You are more hopeful than many therapists I've had . I'm so glad for me you stopped playing it safe. Would love to have a one on one with you

I had a plan to finally leave my emotionally abusive, alcoholic husband this fall by finally working full time when our oldest daughter got to college this fall. Then got a diagnosis of breast cancer, which means i have to stay for health insurance and recovery. To depend on a person who I cant trust until i recover. But emotionally I just can't. So very much relating to the frustration of spinning my wheels and not being able to move forward for at least 4 more months.

I found the crappy fairy when my therapist wanted me to focus on my self and understand the healing process from neglect and abuse and ostracism of childhood, I used to listen to podcasts on trusting others blah blah blah because I was not the problem, the fairy knows who I am inside and out ❣️

You are so right about diet helping. Since I started on a healthy Ketogenic diet/lifestyle on 5 Aug this year, I have noticed my head is clearer, depression has lifted a lot, symptoms like fatigue, swollen ankles, bad skin have improved so much. I've dropped 11kg/24lbs so far which is fantastic! A low carb, no sugar diet with healthy fats, proteins & green vegetables, salad - & no alcohol at all have made such a difference to my mind & my body. And along with intermittent fasting, I have no cravings anymore for bad sugary high carb food. (Dr Eric Berg's info is great). I walk my dog every day - he gets me out of the house especially when I didn't want to leave the house most days. I've watched your videos for a over year and only recently I decided to 'care enough about me' & start doing your daily practice and this is also helping me greatly. My intention is too continue both of these lifestyle changes to help me heal. Thank you Anna your videos are such a blessing.

I really hate it when someone who has been abusing me emotionally tries to make me the scapegoat for their childhood pain and puts me on the defensive! It also stinks when their approach to a relationship with you is a one-way street and they do everything they can to put you down and they dismiss your needs. Why should I abandon myself completely? It doesn't keep them from putting me down, anyway. Walk away time!

I too asked for a dementia test when I was younger.! I'm 68 now and afraid of my future. I'm alone and thankful for your videos

I hate homework. And I know the healing power of doing so. Looking for yet another therapist,. 3 years of insomnia have done a number on my already fried nervous system. Where the will to do anything feels Herculean. The body keeps the score, I could've written that book. When I read it, my body knew, without my damaged parts not wanting me to know The work you have done, without all the crap that exists today is incredible. Much respect to you crappy fairy childhood lady. I have driven everyone away . It happened gradually and my cherished solitude,,have become an unbearable loneliness.turns out I can't manufacture people.

I’m so glad you told the truth. I tell the truth now, and am not ashamed of my cptsd. You have helped me immensely.

So thankful that I found your channel. I plan to do a deep dive into all your materials. I wish parents would really understand the best gift they can give to their children is a happy, healthy childhood.

Tapping and belly breaths were really game changers for me when it came to regulation.

The brain stuf is so real. Thank you for your truth Anna! We all need to hear the fact that we need to be truthful! The more we hide, the bigger the goblin gets. Love your context. You are appreciated!

When you mentioned the example of someone at work getting credit for something you/we should have, being a trigger- it instantly reminded me of how I always felt I didn’t get the credit I deserved. The reason: I grew up with an older brother that was/is a literal Genius. I was always in his shadow & never praised like he did etc….. Thank you for mentioning/explaining this as a trigger. It certainly was!

Thank you for having the courage to step forward. Just the act of finding a therapist is a challenge . You have been such a saving grace in my life. I appreciate you

can i just say, that this is all good advice, relevant to everybody. even having a good childhood, you still end up with these issues.

^Thanks for an earlier video, not too long ago. I made a comment and in that comment I went over all the BS that had been gone thru in my life. It was in your video that it became clear to me to quit being a broken record! It's just all negative garbage that keeps one down. I've spent a literal lifetime trying to understand the whys. Am 76. From the dry clinical standpoint one gets it (the answers are dead and buried.) It is about emotions & feelings,. Ultimately the "safe havens" we go to are neither safe or comfortable. The only comforts come from familiarity. IT can be a prison of ones own device. The inner child only repeats what it has heard. While assuming a "victims" roll is not a good idea, understanding that you have been victimized thru no fault of your own is a necessity for healing. Feelings of self worth are attainable goals. Mindfulness is a wonderful tool.

Anna, you're a gift from God for folks like us who are struggling with CPTSD. It's so phenomenal to hear from someone who has gone thru the experience of CPTSD.

Can I just say to you Anna, how amazing you are.❤ You are one in a million. I love you. Keep going. You help so many people.

Ironically, this video came up and played on its own. Now I can’t stop watching. I am applying the Daily Practice Today! I hope to have results.

It's good to hear your videos as it makes me realise that's it's not just ME, and other people are experiencing similar issues. There is hope in your messages for me that positive change is possible. Thanks for sharing.

Completely agree re: ADD diagnosis being over used. I wondered for years why prof. I knew didnt recognized the anxiety in myself and others that i thought to be painfully obvious.

Now I want chanting water aerobics classes.

How did this land in my suggested videos today? You're really reaching me today, Anna. Thank you for being here for us. ❤

To date: I have been following the things learned from "crappy childhood fairy" and the books by Paul Walker as best I can every day. I have started performing better at work and mending things with my wife and family. I still find it difficult to be out in public for two long by myself, but it's getting better. I am not saying everything is great. Somedays and even some weeks are harder than others. My point is that things have gotten better.

Thank you Anna, That you are mentionong it, that the once victims, can get predators too. And even if not so, they can also be nasty, jealous and so on and hurt other people. So yes, it's important for EVERYBODY to listen to critics and look inside your true heart, if there is something right in there. And also crappy childhood victims survivors have sometimes to say sorry to others. And it's for all people hard to do so. 💜

Anna, Thank you for the work You've done here. I've never heard my survival tools described as "playing small," but it's been very hard to make sanity out of garbage behavior rooted in narcissistic parenting. I feel you have helped me restore some IQ points. Just your validation has helped. My power loss is THE most damaging consequence of CPTSD - especially in terms of my career.... I haven't had one for 15 years because I have had too many jerks imposing themselves....too few tools. Thank you for your tools. ☺️😇

No.14 - talking about self care and hair being brushed at the back😂tickled me ( I’ve been there) Thankyou for another wonderful video ❤

Thank you for all that you do to help us through this journey called Life. May God always bless you.🤗❤️

Omg - letting things that were untrue or unfair just go with it, that hits a spot, i did this in my previous workplace, sort of going with it and hoping it doesnt get worse that was me, it actually did get worse in that workplace. Being assertive feels scary after experiencing all of that.

You have diagnosed me. Anna, you have helped me to at least begin to think about taking the first steps out of this. I thank you so much. I can do this. Please keep on helping trauma-damaged people. God bless you so much with all that is good.

You are so amazingly helpful. Thank you for this content!

What a Gift! Thank you for this compilation ❤

I love listening to you explain and connect your thoughts, ideas and concepts. I wish that this channel was available when I embarked on figuring out me... I am a fan and listen as I still will always be want to heal and learn new tools. I also feel that with the amount of content on your channel there is enough here to help ppl get a glimpse of a vision of potential in their own life. I send ppl here ever since I found this channel. Good stuff

I got a new 'daily practice' more accurate a 'responsive practice'. (Tho it feels lately there is a daily conversation which is brilliant to moving me to be my full size). When have had a conversation where a conflict has been addressed the frazzle has been pressed when new ideas has been expressed, {like now, like when my notes taken during some of your videos}, when have a feeling of complete, 26:44 the only thing left to say "We had a most brilliant conversation, thankyouthankyou, the only request is you as well as I (consistently pause for a swell of emotion) thank those you have undoubtedly have given their support to you, to me; with that support this brilliant conversation sparkles in my eyes, in my heart; Thankyouthankyou Thankyouthankyou".

Anna, I love that you do your work here!!! Everybody on this path is so so important. ❤💜☀️

I have been noticing this brain issue and praying for answers. I just said to some friends some of these exact words. Thank you!

Omg I have pretty much all of these. You described many of the things I do/have done. I feel seen, and appreciate your kind advice ❤

Thank you so much for being real and so articulate, insightful and practical about what the lived experience of complex ptsd feel like and how it can play out in one's life. I have been diagnosed with cptsd this year, and am learning a lot. I'm so glad I came across your videos - incredibly helpful and valuable! Thank you 💯❤🙏

I just discovered you. I am going through a tough time in my life right now. Listening to your videos help me.

Thank you.♥️

Your best video yet! Powerful stuff❤

Thanks Anna for helping me navigate the strangeness of life.

I just want to say, I ❤ you. I wish I found you earlier in my life and someone would talk about this in 🇫🇮 You are life saviour. Huge, huge respect for you

This was so helpful Anna! Thank you thank you thank you for starting this channel as it has helped me in so many ways.

LOVE LOVE LOVE the house and front porch analogy!wish this was taught to us as children!you have a gift!

I love the daily practice. I actually thought how am I ever going to fill 5-10 minutes with fears and resentments 2x a day-- well the words just flow onto the page I don't even have to think, the fears just pour out. I'm so grateful for this technique and having a place to release those thoughts. It is helping me already; I have been able to do things again slowly and I am so grateful.

Others have explained this to me but not nearly as effectively. You add tremendous value. Thank you

SO much helpful information packed into a single video. Thank you for putting what has taken you years and years to learn, and condensing that in an excellent way. Much appreciated.👍😊

I appreciate you more than words can convey.

I am wholeheartedly grateful for your sharing experiences and journey.

Very helpful

I’m 65 and I want to regulate. I want to learn what your teaching about not playing small.

Thank you for this video 🙏 hugs from Australia

your content helps me to start my day! excellent reminders, thank you for being you! 🙏

You are amazing and right on point for me (and many other's) I'm sure. Thank you for being real and sharing your honesty. I'm exhausted from playing small and a few other things you talk about. ❤

You mentioned combing back of the head... OMG and that brought me to the tears. One time in 4th grade teacher had asked me why do I come to school without combing my hair and I didn't have an answer to that. Then she asked, doesn't your mom pays attention how you are getting ready for school? And I didn't have answer for that too. I just said that I think my mom is too busy to do that. Teacher sighed, she knew that my mom was a stay home mom. I could see loss of hope in her eyes, and I thought I am a hopless person. To this date, that incident haunts me. After I told mom this incidence, she started cutting my hair really short. I looked like a boy all the time growing up. (Now I understand that my teachers seigh was not directed towards me, but towards my mom. She probaly had more questions about how I show up in the school that she didn't ask me.) I make sure that my kiddo looks great, whenever he steps out of the home, even though he doesn't care. 🙁

I found your videos a couple months ago. I've started listening to them. I've found them very helpful. A lot of what you say resonates with me tremendously. Thank you so very much for being bold and putting yourself out there. Please continue to do so. I enjoy listening to your videos. I'm going through a very difficult time in my life, I've made changes that will be for the better. However, it's a bit lonely and it's really nice to listen to a positive voice speaking about how we can change our lives for the better.

I am SO grateful for your videos!

Oh I am so very great full for finding your KZfaq Channel Anna Fairy!!! Thank you so much you are truly a Crappy Childhood Fairy! gracias from México your neighbor country!!!

Thank you, for sharing your experiences, for reaching out to us, cracking our shells, drawing out the negative so that we can heal, be trye, be hinest, be loved and come out of our cocoons and be the butterflies that we are meant to be. 🦋

Thank you for being so transparent and bold. Your KZfaq videos have really helped me not only understand myself better but solutions to overcoming these real life struggles. Thank you for giving me hope and understanding so that I can be the best version of myself

I have your videos playing while I work. They are so helpful to me & although I've done a lot of work & healing, I still have a ways to go. Thank you!

I grow up with my needs being partly neglected / some of my needs, i can relate to this, nailed it, thanks, i am looking forward to interacting with you

I'm trying to heal from 45 years Married to a Narcissist. Getting Divorced now. Also, raised by a Mother who's also a Narcissist. I've cut ties with both my Mother and my Husband, all negative people who were in my life. Very depressed, and I get emotional easily now. I need help to heal from this trauma. Searching for a Professional Psychologist who specializes in Narcissistic Abuse cases. Preferably a Female who is a contracted provider on my Medical Insurance.