private life is a better life + the reality of achieving your delulu life

Рет қаралды 371,686

11 ай бұрын

👚Merch - shopisla.co
✨All other links - beacons.ai/manifestelle
In this episode, Elle discusses the importance of protecting your privacy and not oversharing with people who don't deserve access to your life. She talks about how access to you is valuable and should be reserved for those who truly deserve it. Elle also shares her journey of learning to be more private and the benefits it has brought to her life. This episode is a must-listen for any woman looking to level up in her personal life and protect herself from negative energy.
In addition to discussing the importance of privacy, Elle also touches on the topic of evil eye and social media "friendships" and how to identify those who are monitoring spirits versus true friends. She emphasizes the need to focus on real-life connections and not rely on online interactions for validation.
Throughout the episode, Elle provides valuable insights and practical advice for living a private life and prioritizing your own well-being. Don't miss out on this empowering conversation.
Keywords: Spoiled Girlie Support Group, privacy, oversharing, negative energy, personal life, high value, bestie, getting that bag, securing your own bag, social media, real-life connections, well-being, monitoring spirits, evil eye

Пікірлер: 744

@lolidollii 8 ай бұрын

“ *I would rather people think I’m boring than people know too much about my life* .” ―Lily-Rose Depp

@goldenhippie1984 8 ай бұрын

This

@808_ISLAdeYSLA 7 ай бұрын

Yes. Annoying how people think they know you as a person just bc of what other people say about you. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself. To those people that says "My life is an open book." ... B.S. 😂. Why would you want it that way?!?

@Arifumiko 7 ай бұрын

I'm actually starting to see this right now. I'm a social butterfly and I have a lot of friends and share a lot of stuff with people but now it comes back firing at me with full force. I am now included in a big drama and my life became 100x stressful. I realized that when I didn't have many people that I was talking to my life was much simpler and peaceful.

@nathanmciver6496 4 ай бұрын

Wow! Unless you figure out dirt balls games together! What a life! Negative I think not! Sorry, people who claim comments like these are simple! Been there with your false mite and was let down by your promises of what everyone else is accomplishing with your polished acts putting other people at risk who followed the rules! 43 and thier's only so much group curruption I can attend to get lied to again and again to have lie's of my life getting better put in the hands of people who metaled with that before! Anyone remember what actual friendship was before you had to sell a delivery to keep up with the? Wait, somone is already on that right

@donnarakitzis2719 3 ай бұрын

Your video is on point! Very wise advise!

@hulk2406 11 ай бұрын

When I share my goals with people, they end up becoming harder to achieve. It's like people suck your energy and want you to fail. It makes them feel better about themselves when they see you fail.

@evaeve1927 11 ай бұрын

Exactly

@AaliyahGrady. 11 ай бұрын

yeah they have this type of energy like they don't really think you can do it and it also rubs off on you.

@MelanatednNature 10 ай бұрын

This

@cynthiaromero5719 10 ай бұрын

Its always been like that.

@joyfulportraits 10 ай бұрын

The thing is, is they know where you came from, and they came from the same place. How are they gonna root for you to do better than them when you came from the same place?

@katcampbell9213 8 ай бұрын

"Never tell your problems to anyone…20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them." -Lou Holtz

@Tayloralxs 6 ай бұрын

ooh that's a good quote!!

@simone7331 6 ай бұрын

that just sounds like someone who's afraid of being vulnerable with people and rationalizing extreme independence

@katcampbell9213 6 ай бұрын

@@simone7331 Yes, I think you can be vulnerable with the right people.

@sammathews6634 Ай бұрын

Yes....very true!

@elenahauser6617 Ай бұрын

So true…

@princesslady93 11 ай бұрын

This old dude i work with has worked this dead end job for nearly 50 years- he's ALWAYS in a good mood and always just joking and being goofy. Never answers anything seriously- he was like this outside work too. I always wondered what his secret to his happy life was. I FINALLY figired it out. He aint ever talk to nobody! 😂 He takes all his breaks and lunches in his truck 😂

@Keezyii 10 ай бұрын

This is the way to be !

@Ceylon727 10 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂 thank u it made me happy n laugh too! Valuable moral right there!!!

@yanzi8543 10 ай бұрын

My best friend is also like that. People wanna make friends with him sometimes but he's barely speaking to his colleagues and keeping his distance. If you know who's your folk , you know who's your folk. ❤

@MelanatednNature 10 ай бұрын

Smart man

@jonahsebalius5012 10 ай бұрын

🤣

@SunShine_sublime 10 ай бұрын

I've been a "good girl," and all I get is hearbreak and betrayal. And now I promise myself to be a good girl only to myself and stop giving others a pass just because I feel sorry for them.

@cynthiaromero5719 10 ай бұрын

Thats the attitude

@jacquelinemasubani9880 10 ай бұрын

This !

@nataliielara 10 ай бұрын

proud of your attitude! many ppl would use heartbreak as an excuse to become a shitty person

@a.b.2405 10 ай бұрын

This right here!!

@87genia 9 ай бұрын

You just described the old me, but being kind to myself is still a challenge. It does get better tho 😊

@monicaramirez51015 11 ай бұрын

Gurlllllll 😊I AM a 55 year young woman and this is how I have OVERCOME SO MUCH IN LIFE!!!!! Learn to guard your heart and your plans!!!!! Wise Soul keep voicing this message to all sisters ❤Namaste 😊

@therealmanifestelle 11 ай бұрын

thank you for sharing bestie ✨

@buzznotaracist3755 11 ай бұрын

Young women😂😂

@yongseung6103 10 ай бұрын

@@buzznotaracist3755yes, young women.

@bunny19-xk5mj 10 ай бұрын

@@buzznotaracist3755 i think u r some 90 year old person 😂

@Ariadne4 10 ай бұрын

@@beautifulmirage8322you just got lucky there. Over sharing doesn't usually benefit ppl. You never know if that person was telling the truth or not. Sometimes they pretend to over share so that they can earn the trust of someone so that they can later use that person for their benefit. I'm not saying everyone is like that. Some ppl genuinely just want someone to listen to their worries. But we live in a cruel unfair world, so it is better to always have our guard up, especially as women

@briskettacos 11 ай бұрын

Queens understand that there's enough sunshine for everyone. My loss is not necessarily your gain, and vice versa.

@therealmanifestelle 11 ай бұрын

perioddddd

@immeuw 4 ай бұрын

“The less people know about you, the less power they have over you" - noted

@conquistadorrocket 11 ай бұрын

I actually started using the oversharing strategy deliberately to get random dudes to stop hitting on me. They don't hear the word "no", so I just do my best to project as many red flags as I can. Girlies, that shit works - those men leave me alone so fast now.

@therealmanifestelle 11 ай бұрын

💅🏽

@Highwizardd 11 ай бұрын

haha i always talk about astrology its the easiest way to get them to clock out

@conquistadorrocket 11 ай бұрын

@@Highwizardd just wait till you start meeting dudes who actually know shit about it tho

@maenastevenson 11 ай бұрын

@@Highwizarddliterally same, i start talking about astrology, kpop and books and they leave

@AaliyahGrady. 11 ай бұрын

THEY DONT!! I told this guy i don't wanna date he said he will wait kept texting him so I told him how I had a baby at 14 and we said "oh so you're a milf? i appreciate you for sharing that" THE AUDACITY OF MEN

@sophiesticatedlady 11 ай бұрын

There is a French proverb that says “pour vivre heureux, vivons cachés” which literally means “ to live happy, let’s live hidden”, which is about not sharing too much information. Not saying that people don’t overshare, however that proverb always comes around as a reminder.

@Chanoli 9 ай бұрын

In Russian we have “счастье живет в тишине» meaning “happiness lives in a silence”

@Artemisiagentileschia 8 ай бұрын

Ouiii après ça dépend il faut évite de s’isoler non plus

@sophiesticatedlady 8 ай бұрын

@@Artemisiagentileschia c’est vrai que trop s’isoler aussi, c’est pas bon.

@glaceitee 8 ай бұрын

see my problem with is is like how do you make friends and get genuine connections like wtf do you even talk about if you need to be private in friendships? because i dont wanna talk about crushes because if i tell someone it'll go down hill, if i tell someone my goals it'll be sabotaged like wtf do i talk about with friends lol

@katgreer6113 8 ай бұрын

Some of this is dramatic. First of all, having the same sense of humor as a friend is a great place to start. And also the same hobbirs or interests. You can start off by letting them know shallow, short term goals. If they are encouraging and are happy for you when you achieve them, then you can share bigger goals. If not, they're not the one. Keeping things to yourself too much can ultimately backfire, especially if you're not someone that can easily carry emotional burdens. So...this advice is true, but also not true at all. If people continue to be closed off years into a friendship...then I personally walk away. This girl talking would too. I'm convinced many people in this comment section think people care about them so much as to prey on their downfall. I know someone like that. She thinks everyone is waiting for her to fail. She's in her own head all the time and the reality is that nobody cares about what she's doing enough for them to wish bad on her. Some of these people also have a clear problem of sharing their plans, feelings and life aspirations with friends who are NOT close to them. If you feel connected with someone and tell them everything within 2 months...then that's just wrong(some expections). I opened up within a year and one month. We're still bsf after 3 years ❤. Sorry if this was so long lol. Summary: share with those you feel are your real friends only.

@johnm.castillo3163 8 ай бұрын

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

@ClarizMarielle 8 ай бұрын

i was living my best life until i told my friends about how good im doing. now i lost all my life energy and i am desperately trying to build it back up.

@misaandcoart 8 ай бұрын

I let go of my friendship with my lifelong best friend because it got to a point where I'd grown and she couldn't handle being happy for me, and used my growth to say I was no longer the person she knew and was abandoning her. So after being treated quite poorly by her I removed her from my life and it's been so much nicer. No more anxiety or walking on eggshells. A private life is such a relieving feeling.

@hs6910 11 ай бұрын

I'm not even sure if it's Nazar but everytime i share something big it literally starts to go downhill. Protecting my energy and keeping my group small has been a 2023 lesson :]

@hayatonemli5209 11 ай бұрын

Yess. Actually there's a phrase used in my country, Of your happiness, speak not too loud for envy's sleep is but a fragile shroud.

@sainthunny 11 ай бұрын

I feel this! I’ve also noticed that when I open up about my relationship arguments between my bf and I commence. I’m learning to keep my mouth shut 🤐 lol

@namjoonfromitaly9093 11 ай бұрын

Yes, It's definitely nazar

@saffy771 11 ай бұрын

Every time I developed a crush on someone and started talking to them and I told one of my closest friends about him, it started going downhill. Now I'm just keeping my crushes to myself. Not because I don't trust my friends, but I just feel like talking about a guy I like before anything serious happens just ruins it and then if it doesn't work out, that friend will ask about him and then I'll have to admit that it didn't work out etc. It's just disappointing for everyone involved lol. So I just want to keep it to myself until we're actually dating and we're official.

@UrvashiSaana 10 ай бұрын

I think nazar doesn't exist!! It's all about the belief ! If you believe it low key ! It's gonna affect you ! It's a mindset!

@ivii_designs 10 ай бұрын

The more I grow up the more I become scared of people 😭 the fact that people can choose to be around you even though they know they don't like you

@bibibomba4515 6 ай бұрын

THIS😭🤦🏽‍♀️

@gayanngodfrey2824 3 ай бұрын

I was just saying this

@jaifyre702 10 ай бұрын

I've noticed that when I'm down people will be all in my business and wanting to know about it but when I'm doing good it's all of a sudden everybody becomes a ghost. I stopped sharing my personal life and people started rejecting me because of it. Even with friends I thought were actually close to me they would want to hear all my bad but NEVER share what they go thru. So now I stay to myself because people love to see me doing bad vs doing good

@cassandraknight8804 10 ай бұрын

To many want to be our heroes or saviour, for their own sake- egos.

@evjimz8460 8 ай бұрын

Me too! And when I’m good they forget I exist or even support when I’m depressed they’re blowing me up for updates like a subscription to a show

@mushublaze 10 ай бұрын

the technique of keeping things to yourself actually helped me survive better in the restaurant work environment. the less people know about you, the less they can create drama about you and make your work day hell. instead of trying to make everyone laugh, it's better and takes less energy to just keep to yourself, and watch who's willing to listen, who's worth the attention. this saves me so much stress and energy, especially because the restaurant is so big and noisy, and word travels so fast. it's just really good to filter who you can and can't trust

@xinhewang9719 10 ай бұрын

so true:)

@sensimania 6 ай бұрын

Some weirdos resort to making up things about you if they can't find out anything organically. And the kicker is, everyone believes their lies 😳. Its like people would rather believe and gossip about outrageous rumours instead of just getting on with their work 🙄

@janieli 10 ай бұрын

When you said "people like you because of how you make them feel, not inherently you", this really snapped me back to reality. I've been trying to people please my whole life and would always be upset when someone didn't like me, despite my hard efforts to be the kindest soul. I am going to remind myself of this and this will definitely help me with my people pleasing tendencies. Thank you!

@sheaNERD 11 ай бұрын

I’ve felt guilty about over sharing in the past 😅 people just feel jealous and resentful of the great life that you have and they try to sabotage! It’s disgusting behavior.

@m.45 11 ай бұрын

Even if they didn’t do harm in the actual actions. But their energy still sabotage you in some way. It’s like a evil eye.

@sheaNERD 11 ай бұрын

@@m.45 yes I agree!

@sadetrbl 11 ай бұрын

@@m.45evil eye is to protect.

@m.45 11 ай бұрын

@@sadetrbl ohh I meant energy vampire lol my mistake.

@maddart4445 10 ай бұрын

I don’t tell people shit especially men. If you sit in silence being your open self men will tell you everything. They will tell you exactly why you should never contact them again!😂😂😂

@thebootjournal6037 11 ай бұрын

Ways to help choose a private life: Understand that when you tell others "No." Your "No" is a complete sentence. Don't explain and don't complain. Also, only put out there in words or pictures (social media) what you want others to share. This especially applies in a work environment. Also, if you don't have close relationships with your siblings, definitely keep your life private. You'd be surprised out how much certain family members will also try to keep you down or use your "oversharing" against you or to guilt you.

@Brunettte-Barbie 6 ай бұрын

My grandmother always used to say “if you don’t complain then you don’t have to explain”. Truer words were never spoken.

@kamaliallie 11 ай бұрын

I’m a dude, and I probably don’t belong in this space but I really needed to hear this. Thank you for making this video. It really helped get the idea in my head that I don’t need to tell people as much as I do. Winning in silence is better in the long run.💪🏾

@annalovebrows 10 ай бұрын

You belong wherever you feel comfortable brother 🙏🏽

@maddart4445 10 ай бұрын

The strong don’t always get a pat on the back for a good job but they do their best anyway.

@maddart4445 10 ай бұрын

@@annalovebrows 👍

@ryanmcgregorr 10 ай бұрын

Same... Couldn't relate to the "girly" parts, but the message is still really helpful 🤣

@di7787 10 ай бұрын

It's valid for everyone ! I have a story about envy among guys ! : This video happened to pop up for me exactly as, this week, I had to show integrity to my secret friend with benefits and tell him that he should be careful about a guy that I went to the club with (mutual acquaintance) - That guy had shown me ill intent towards my fwb by telling a girl that my fwb could be seeing, that fwb is a lame guy who copies international DJs - this has also upset me as an aspiring Dj, such people not respecting what we do - and, creepily, tried to find out from me if the guy ever liked me or took me out on a date etc. Fwb is the resident DJ at our largest local club (900 ppl), his night is now chock full AND he is finally living his dream (after years of work) as big festivals and other clubs are booking him each weekend. Add to that that he is a tall guy, in good shape, dresses nicely, has a big car etc and seems to pick up chicks and you can feel what fuels the envy. The acquaintance, who's a w*nker who likes all chicks but gets friendzoned, can't keep fwb-s name out of his mouth and many fake rumours are circulating about fwb, don't know who started them. I had to inform the fwb and was very worried myself after the guy had questioned me, as I am not that good at lying face 2 face. Good that he didn't ask me if I ever slept with fwb. It's funny though how the guy found exactly me, who is really seeing fwb 😂 Fwb went to the guy's work and confronted him in private about the rumours, mostly ones that I for one had not heard (there were many!), and threatened with a lawyer. Of course the guy understood nothing of this, he's too stupid and behaving like in 5th grade. I am falling back to not let that guy question me again about fwb or talk smack about him. I have the occasion to go out of town for about a week and I think I will. From this, at least my fwb has learnt that I'm a real one and he has spoken to me about the boundaries that he sets up, but it was a creepy week and I have slept badly. It still boggles my mind that someone could act like that. Looking back, the guy also tried to start drama between me and a female acquaintance, he lives for it 🙄🙄

@bellejour559 11 ай бұрын

I’m a professional at this. Privacy matters. No need to overshare every detail of your life. Build your cheerleading squad and kick off any members who are not positively influencing your life in some way.

@queenofthej 11 ай бұрын

“To be a woman Is to perform” wow I feel like that’s so true

@lovelyA933 10 ай бұрын

I used to not believe this but unfortunately, it's true. Last year I reconnected with a classmate from college that I never really liked. She is the definition of narcissist, and would always jokingly insult me, compete with me, just be a horrible person but disguise it as friendship, and because I'm "nice" and kind I let it slide. Well, last year as we were talking I decided to send her a link to my online store because I am very proud of it, and she just called my products dumb. And I kid you not, ever since I shared my store with her my sales started going down, my store hasn't been the same, the market got overly saturated, I lost a lot of money... So there really is evil eye out there and those people will cast it on your life out of hatred and it will affect you if you are not careful. So from now on I am very careful with who I share my life with, I don't tell people anything about my life or where I get my money from because no thanks!

@rue2599 5 ай бұрын

I'd like to mention something that I've learned from anecdotal evidence: people can also fear your success because of their limitations. They can project their failures, fears, and limiting beliefs onto you. Because they can't, they believe you can't. Of course, you have the power to prove that it's a myth and nothing more by actually achieving what they think you can't. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

@trisha__________ 11 ай бұрын

you and i share the same mindset. i, too, believe that a private life is a better life. what people don't know, they can't ruin. 😌😌😌

@therealmanifestelle 11 ай бұрын

🙏🏽

@tequilachanel7312 11 ай бұрын

It’s not always the lack in their life sometimes ppl will have more than you and still be mad that you have it. The ppl who hated me, monitoring me seems to have more than me but I’m always the targeted one. Little ole me 😊

@therealmanifestelle 11 ай бұрын

😭😭😭 it be like that

@lasantuzza777 11 ай бұрын

i think when it comes to women that what they tend to envy most in other women isnt even physical things like looks and money it’s something energetic. because it can’t be bought or learned. some women just possess this natural energy that makes them a constant target because no matter what they do they stand out and are absolutely magnetic. i think women with this energy also tend to always attract men’s eyes which again makes them a target to get rid of in envious women’s eyes. these are just my thoughts but i’ve seen this play out irl time and time again. i’ve seen otherwise accomplished and “well to do” women turn into playground bullies towards waitresses or stay at home wives (no dig at either of those occupations by the way) just because those other women ultimately stand out above all their accomplishments just by being them! it’s not even what you have it’s who you are - and if you notice hate pour in over “little ol you” rest assured you possess something that is rare and it’s not little at all! 🤍💍

@tequilachanel7312 11 ай бұрын

@@lasantuzza777 yes! Someone just told me that the other day so I completely agree thank you so much 😊🖤

@sarahbrown3938 10 ай бұрын

@@lasantuzza777yooo yesss this is me n why I had to cut certain family members off swearrr n I said it’s about who I am energy wise yoooo I’m so glad u said this I knew I wasn’t crZy 💯💯💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️

@rydiavalentine 12 күн бұрын

@@lasantuzza777 You just described me 😂And even if I apply the private life thing, still have a female hater who also hates all of my female friends 🙄She's so jealous of us it's crazy. Thankfully, she has no friends and can't do anything to ruin our lives. People run from her because she's mentally deranged. She just rage at us with fake nicknames online, but writting as herself all the time 🤣

@chairmanwu 8 ай бұрын

I just want to share from personal experience, I did not grow up very well off so a lot of my friends have always come from good financial backgrounds. However after graduating, getting a good job and finding a good boyfriend, I learned that some people really don’t want the best for me. When I shared my healthy relationship, my friend who comes from the most well off family literally said “it sounds like he’s too good for you” like I don’t deserve a happy relationship, but she does (she is single). All I did was get a good job and good relationship and that was already enough for people who I thought were my “friends” to show their true colours. Because they grew up more well off then me, when I was finally starting to do well for myself they didn’t think I deserved it. It’s tragic.

@Thatprettygirl_01 4 ай бұрын

I grew up with really narcissistic envious people around me and there's this friend who I'm cutting her off now always seems jealous whenever I shared that I met cute guy or some guy asked for my number she got s jealous and she hang up on me she's jealous whenever there's guy involved

@ClosewithKeri 11 ай бұрын

Reasons why I had to step back from social media. I just don’t share anything anymore. It felt like I was blocking my blessings whenever I shared my plans… people would ask about it but never ask how they can support or send referrals my way. Just like they wanted to gather the info for some weird reason.

@silverdale3207 11 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing😁

@dijia8400 11 ай бұрын

That's why you gotta purge your social circle and replace them w/ people also doing amazing things. People like that are constantly thinking about how they can leverage their circle to level up their lives. So they see your success as a huge bonus to their lives as well.

@co_7523 10 ай бұрын

Me too!

@BellaBankes 6 ай бұрын

Yes!

@kyram123 7 ай бұрын

This is on point. I thought women were supposed to share our lives, probably learned it from tv shows like sex and the city. But I’ve noticed lately that not everyone is happy for you.

@LammyHowl 11 ай бұрын

Yes Bestie! Not 👏🏼 everyone 👏🏼 is 👏🏼 your👏🏼 friend! 👏🏼 Don't waste yourself on the opinions of people you wish to be nothing like because not everyone is entitled to influence over you. Once I learned that, my quality of life improved exponentially. Keep up the good work, love your channel and your pep talks!

@therealmanifestelle 11 ай бұрын

exactly 👏🏽👏🏽

@lilbangtan2957 9 ай бұрын

I started slowly last year and now I completely live a private life, and let me tell you is the best thing ever, I don’t care what others do, and actually it’s not my loss. I think about social media as a fake catalog about us. My life has improved a lot and also my mental health. Give it a try!!!

@kinjaaaaaa999 8 ай бұрын

thank you for this, at age 31 I finally realize I need to set better boundaries. I use to feel bad for being anti-social around fake nice people. Not no more.

@boob1022 10 ай бұрын

"people like you for the way you make them feel and oversharing does not accomplish that" YESSSS GIRL!!!

@consciouscitizen6211 11 ай бұрын

Made all these mistakes. Open myself like a book. I feel so much better now that I guard my life. I still struggle sometimes…but am much better. It’s like you let out too much - empty - drained - and they have an energetic power knowing about your life.

@littlerooms1947 10 ай бұрын

SO TRUE! Especially when you are ‘the’ girl everyone wants to have access to. Always better to raise the bar and choose who can enter your life and even your space

@yabe1496 5 ай бұрын

Im a mystery even for may own family. From being transparent, caring and people pleaser Im now detached and selective. Only my children and my pets know exactly who I am. Best decision ever.

@nadine1018 11 ай бұрын

Especially the people who have more than you and shouldn’t complain, are quite eager to drag you down. Even the slightest success of yours give them nightmares. I had such „friends“ and I’m glad I cut them off.

@leighleigh8725 11 ай бұрын

Yes they are not missing a single thing they get literally everything they want and more … nothing that you do will ever effect that for them .. BUT they are devoted to attacking you and making sure you get nothing good for yourself

@leighleigh8725 9 ай бұрын

@@watermelonlover745 AWWWWWWW COURTYARD MOLESTED RAT 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴ENEMY 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

@itchyscratch3829 9 ай бұрын

Social media is very toxic if not used with extreme caution.

@bangtanswag2.0 10 ай бұрын

I was just thinking about this today. I had a bad day and wanted to tell my friends so bad and share it on my private account story but just thought to myself "what do i want to achieve sharing it?" so i kept it to myself and it feels great. Everything you say can and will be used against you.

@mohammadsara1579 10 ай бұрын

Finally, someone who speaks truth instead of sayin take things positively or always be kind to others.We need to understand that not every person deserves this.

@transitionsnc 8 ай бұрын

100%

@nellhamedani1579 9 ай бұрын

Yas bestie your right. Just deleted my Social medias so people wont stalk me anymore. Ive had enough of these people. Moving forward from now on.

@BellaBankes 6 ай бұрын

The more I have awakened to what you’re discussing here, I can totally detect when people WANT you to feel less than them. Flaunting their every move and often times over-consuming (even in how they “spend” their time as if being constantly busy signals having higher status when it actually signals that they want the world to believe that or perceive that. mysteriousness is a much more profound quality that keeps people guessing. They can’t stand it when they think you’re being mysterious because you’re down, then you pop back out with something great. They can’t handle it. Ive consciously ghosted so many people this year who do not line up with what I am about, and it has felt amazing. Love this channel and the community engagement here :)

@ctz1232 5 ай бұрын

Love this for you girlie. It's given me the strength to do the same. It's just that these are people that I'll have interact with at school and there's no way to get around it cause we're in the same class. But after this last year, it's bye bye cause I can't handle the drama anymore and the neediness. Sorry to unload here😂

@BellaBankes 5 ай бұрын

@@ctz1232 awww. It sounds like you have a good awareness about who to allow into your space. It’s definitely a challenge when you have to be around certain people! You sound like you’re handling it in a mature way!

@ctz1232 5 ай бұрын

@@BellaBankes I'm legit on the verge of tears. Thanks so much for your comment. I really feel like im going about it the right way now and that I'm not just overthinking things🥰

@sora23asmr56 10 ай бұрын

I love this. I don’t like when women at my work ask me about my personal life. It doesn’t have anything to do with me, leave me alone I don’t trust you ppl LOL

@Monksees 11 ай бұрын

this is why I have thoughts of just being on my own. I can always tell when someone is envious of me or want me humbled not knowing how much pain I continue to turn into power and even with that I still have to keep going

@cassandraknight8804 10 ай бұрын

I relate

@rydiavalentine 12 күн бұрын

Other people's hatred and jealousy feed me and make me stronger. I actually laugh wholeheartedly when I perceive these kind of personalities, specially against me and right on their face. I don't really think their opinions are valid. They are just loosers and nobodies. Superior people don't act or feel like that. They just show themselves as they are to the world as a sincere offering and help others just by being themselves. An example: me and a friend were laughing at our hater face because she tried to "best" another two girls she was jealous of in something she was really bad at, while the two girls were professionals. Imagine her epic fail. It was so big, she started hyperventilating, turning red and looked like an overheated teapot steming from every place of her body. Me and my friend started laughing at her face and she went to a restroom to rage because she lost to those other two professional girls. Me and my friend admire those two girls, they are a reference for us and we congratulated them for real. We still laugh at our hater epic fail today.

@kallistoindrani5689 Ай бұрын

I know my dad said early on when I starting working 'your coworkers are not your friends'. I didn't understand it at the time, didn't want to understand it but now, almost 10 years in the same job later, I totally get him. No matter how good you get along with them at work, they are not your friends.

@annikarld 6 ай бұрын

"Wer Schadenfreude bei des Nächsten Unglück zeigt, hat den Gipfelpunkt der Schlechtigkeit erreicht.", german saying about Schadenfreude, and it is so so true

@Blakenew127 7 ай бұрын

For almost a year now I have been feeling this growing desire to become more discreet about my life and plans and to quietly cut ties with friendships that I discovered were not supportive of me, and certainly not in the way I was to them. So, I have respected this feeling and act accordingly, without justifying myself or feeling obligated to give explanations on my changes. It has definitely made me feel lighter and it was a very organic transition. The less I put out there, the more I have to evaluate what/who I welcome into my life. This is a privilege and I won’t be wasting this value anymore. Thanks for putting into words this process, it came as confirmation 🙏🏼

@ConstanceConnie 10 ай бұрын

Girl you said a word! Especially about the monitoring spirits. I overshare too much and I hate that I do that.

@levelintent 7 ай бұрын

One thing I wish somebody told me when I was younger is that your own mother can be jealous of you and doesn't want you to elevate and will sabotage your whole entire life if you let her... and at the end of the destruction gaslight you and say she never meant it and didn't do it intentionally. I wish someone told me that I should do what I want once I turn 18 because if the tables were turned and I was the mother, my mom would do what the hell she wanted without caring about what I think. I wish someone told me your parents, aunts, uncles, big brothers/big sisters don't always know what's best for you and that sometimes you actually are smarter than them and know better than them.

@caramelcheezit6978 11 ай бұрын

I grew up in a place where people sucked out my feminine energy so much to the point where I lost hair due to stress, evil eye, bad nutrition. They also affected me physically; I was shamed for CURVES. they still talk about me, and made me feel like the crazy one. Can never give them time of day.... I'm still recovering and I try not to get stressed and insanely angry thinking about it. It's everything you said. Everything you said happened to me from age 13-22. My boyfriend was the one to actually show me what it feels like to be myself, get my hair back, be private, etc. He didn't even have this ideology in his mind. Now I send these videos to him. I have a long way to go, like quitting my corporate job; I told a few friends cuz I thought I can be open a bit again. But I don't think i want to do that anymore as much. I'm trying to figure out how to have close friendships with those that matter and not overshare Edit: I realized I'm not a "soft girl". I'm now getting dressed as much as i want, focusing on my physical features cuz etc. I'm a crazy bitch; I like to also get the money as well. I'm sticking to what I want to do and that's having physical skills and my boyfriend loves me for who I am. I was shamed for not being "ladylike" but God so many women have been jealous of me growing up. I'm still going to be private in terms that not many ppl will know exactly where I'm from and shit, but yeah.

@caramelcheezit6978 8 ай бұрын

@Poodle_Gun I actually don't. Growing up my parents were very bad with food; no concept of nutrition and has south Asian vegetarian/vegan food that was very very heavy in carbs. My hair has been continuously growing and has grown alot even since this comment was posted. People underestimate how much stress and neglect can do to a person.

@caramelcheezit6978 8 ай бұрын

@Poodle_Gun so true though. People really act like "ideal women" are shallow or have their own issues that they project onto them

@rydiavalentine 12 күн бұрын

Those people were misogynists. They hate women. Too jealous and scared at the same time of the idea of female.

@Gia_Maria 7 ай бұрын

You are sooo right! This includes family too. A lot of them do not want you to succeed, ever. They’ll even side with old friends you don’t talk to but don’t forget they are miserable and you’re forever gonna be the topic of conversation

@rydiavalentine 12 күн бұрын

They can't have what you do: your amazing personal energy, character, intelligence and personality. They can't buy it or win it in any way. It's unattainable; they either have it, or not. This is when every mediocre person becomes the evil character from every Disney movie and start trying to ruin your and other people's life.

@tina8796 3 ай бұрын

"Privacy is power. What people don't know they can't ruin"

@llamalyssa9088 11 ай бұрын

I quit my job two weeks ago and on my last day my boss who I thought I was kind of close to. (Like I met his wife and kids and shot guns with him) I thought I could TRUST him.. after working with him for two full years of my life for some reason. Anyways, he verbally and emotionally abused me on my last day when I was only trying bring up an actual work issue and how I felt about it. He said “You should be lucky I didn’t fire you for talking about your pay!” Which is ILLEGAL mind you. He also said “You are the most problematic person here!” And I’ve told him I had mental/emotional issues and that’s one of the reasons I quit. But when I told him that when I quit he’s like “Oh I can help you with that.” But then only a few days later he literally switched on me so quickly when I brought up something he didn’t like. Yea I will be keeping my distance and my mouth closed at further jobs now. He hurt me so bad I was in tears at the end of our meeting. He said “clock out and leave immediately.” I was like “can I say something before I go?” He’s like “no go right now. This conversation is over.” Yea safe to say I’m keeping my distance from EVERYONE especially in a work environment because I cannot go through something like this again. This literally opened my eyes and broke me up hella.

@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living 10 ай бұрын

I’m sorry you had to learn the hard way that your work colleagues are NOT your friends.

@itchyscratch3829 9 ай бұрын

"Crabs in a bucket" behaviour is a real thing. When crabs are observed trapped in a bucket, when one climbs up and is about to escape, the others drag it back in! It's often the same with people, when someone is bettering themselves, that is - escaping the proverbial 'bucket of misery' they are all stuck in, those who feel they are being left behind will sabotage the escapee's success. Your boss was probably genuinely sad to lose you but chose to act like a crab rather than wish you well as you 'escaped'.

@sandysan177 16 күн бұрын

Are u his servant that u were asking permission to speak. I think he was right.. u may be the problem as u seem to suffer form really poor self esteem issues. U r not in kindergarten dat u need anyone's permission to speak. I have communication problems Plz work on it.

@mindfulsuccessm 7 ай бұрын

Not everyone wants the best for you. BIG FACTS! This can even be your family. People will dry your energy out and then you begin to question yourself all over again. You couldn't have said it any better. I appreciate your wisdom.

@jaz9552 6 ай бұрын

girl I love the way you present things, and your energy ? UNMATCHED - LOVE YOU BESTIEEE

@soilgrasswaterair 11 ай бұрын

Keep it moving yes! *Ghosting though is only for emptionally immature people or those in abusive situations!* Be a mature adult and simply let the other one know the relationship (friendship or romantic one) has run its course, and keep it moving. If we can invite people in, we can also lead them to the door actively and wave goodbye. *No one is going to act like their life can’t function without us, and will respect it and let go when asked.* Don’t ghost, take responsibility! Why be a coward?!

@cassandraknight8804 10 ай бұрын

Some people do act like their life can’t function without me/others…. Sometimes they just don’t get polite.

@soilgrasswaterair 10 ай бұрын

@@cassandraknight8804 You don’t owe them your time! Set up boundaries. If you tell them and they don’t listen then block them and move on from them. You are never obligated to have someone in your life simply because they want to have you around and available to them...not even family members.

@slayfaee 8 ай бұрын

Hell no. Each time I didn’t ghost i regretted it. You don’t want to give them the chance to gaslight you and attack you. Ghosting is self preservation esp since you don’t owe anyone anything.

@Miss_702A 11 ай бұрын

Bad wishes are curses too. If ppl dont know your bizz they cant curse you and wish bad.

@MelanatednNature 10 ай бұрын

Bingo

@cassandraknight8804 10 ай бұрын

Interesting

@JustGirlyMusings 8 ай бұрын

This is like... One of the best videos in the whole of this platform. Like... So positive, so realistic, so true! I really almost cried. People will go to any lengths to destroy you really. I wish you all the best. ❤

@the_relative_ 10 ай бұрын

“To be a woman is to perform”.. Deep words.. Appreciate all the insight you dropped in this video

@maryhannah9685 10 ай бұрын

Love this. You're not some fake toxic positive girlie and this is exactly the message I've needed! I had to learn to protect myself the HARD way because people are so shady, man. Rarely, if ever, are people high-vibes. Everyone's low vibrational these days and just finding out info about you so they can coordinate their next moves.

@maryhannah9685 8 ай бұрын

@@Poodle_Gunthank you! I *am* good vibes, lol!

@aestheticize 10 ай бұрын

I've had trusted the wrong people in the past( who hated me behind my back) and it's just made it difficult for me to have authentic connections, i can't truly fathom the fact that people can be nice or trustworthy. My relations with others are mostly on the surface level now, cuz I'm just scared that I'll let the wrong people into my life. I have searched up stuff about how to stope oversharing but never found an answer that resonated so much with me.Not to mention all the content related to toxic friendships just has the person ranting about how we are the ones doing everything wrong or straightup blaming us lol, and that kinda content makes me uncomfortable cuz i really don't appreciate the condescending tone in their voice 😂. But your video was exactly what i needed to hear, and you shared the information so effortlessly. Loved the video ❤

@robynmurphy3469 10 ай бұрын

Yes yes yes! My life has been so much simpler since I dropped the overshares. Being mysterious is so much more feminine ❤

@BellaBankes 6 ай бұрын

I love the connection you make between mysteriousness and femininity 💕

@Keezyii 10 ай бұрын

Even tho I feel like I have a good circle, sometimes I rather to keep things for me, writing and recording myself instead of telling it to people. Either they won’t be as happy as I am, which can be irritating or they won’t understand the deepness of my words and the blessings. For exemple when I manifest my dream life, I feel so grateful and happy that I rather to keep it in my garden because I feel like I won’t be understood Feels peaceful tho

@akerkemakhanbet3455 10 ай бұрын

there's a saying in Russian "happiness loves quietness" thank you for amazing video

@EmmysCoolVids123 2 ай бұрын

Oooh that's a nice quote I'm gonna use it from now on. ❤

@cynthiaromero5719 10 ай бұрын

I used to share stuff with my friends about someone i truly love, and some of them start to tell me really bad things about him and "don't be with him" i learned that they are just jealous and actually don't understand the full situation. I started to become more and more private on my personal life, from 2 months ago till this moment, any of my friends knows what has been happening between my love and me, and i feel such a relief, I can't even explain its just awesome. Oversharing made my world upside down, so... don't overshare, even if your friends ask you something personal for you, the best response is the one you have in your heart, if you feel called to say: I don't wanna talk about it, don't talk about it. Do what feels comfortable for you and your peace

@fromwondertoland 8 ай бұрын

dude i never comment on youtube videos but THIS - i just had to. your video just "randomly" popped up for me and GIRL ITS LIKE YOU WERE TALKING TO MY SOUL. your words pierced the screen and my heart LIKE DAMN ARE U TALKING DIRECTLY TO ME? DID YOU MAKE THIS VIDEO BECAUSE I HAVE TOLD YOU WHAT IVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH LATELY?????????? a legitimate thank you because i *deeply* needed to hear this. i already knew all this on so many levels within, but i needed this absolute confirmation. the way you put it is just perfection. never seen your face around here bf but already feel like your bestie btw love the vibe so much that i wish i could beeeee❤

@SereF99102 8 ай бұрын

Private life is private for a reason. Don't tell anybody you sht and you'll live better

@Chicoyo2 2 ай бұрын

As someone who was feeling lonely and I skipped school today because I wasn’t feeling it. This video popped up and thank you. I’ve been feeling lonely and the need to overshare things with people. It helped me realize it’s okay to have a private life. I may not have friends who I can really rely on but I got myself.

@pondering-princess 10 ай бұрын

I'm glad that i found this channel... After dating draining fuckboi narcissists and toxic jealous friendships, I'm on my healing journey.

@AncientCrustacean 2 ай бұрын

This is the first I'm hearing anyone say directly that we all have to pay the game of power. It clears everything right up. I had no idea and didn't know I had been participating this whole time 😭

@Michevell 10 ай бұрын

“Delulu” has to be the most adorable thing I ever heard coming out of your mouth. You made my day 💖

@sensimania 6 ай бұрын

I have a "busy body" neighbour who is constantly chatting everyone's business. When her daughter moved out 20yrs ago, she never looked back and hasn't bothered to contact her mum since. Karmic ties? 🤔 People don't stop talking to their parents for no reason! Anyway, when this neighbour realised that she wouldn't get any info from me about my private life, she started asking my sister. "Is she working?", "Where is she working now?", "Are ya'll going to buy a house?" etc etc When i overheard these questions through the window, it irked me so much that she thinks she can try and get such info about me. And for what?! My private life had nothing to do with her. I told my sister "don't tell her nothing. She talks too much and next thing i know, the whole neighbourhood will know my business". I suspect she's a monitoring spirit.

@fluffythebluepersian4888 4 ай бұрын

I haven't used public social media in 4 years and extremely happy about it

@prableenn- 10 ай бұрын

The girl who says we're bestie is the WROST person in my life, she really did make me feel insecure, doubt myself, making me feel unworthy and like I'm nothing without her... And the most wrost part is, I was really getting her talks into my Brian, I was really getting influenced by that... Now That I understand, I'm trying to ... Just heal from that but it can be so hard, It's still make me feel so unworthy, but guys, chooses your friend wisely, anyone can affect your Brian without even you knowing it.

@Datb2 10 ай бұрын

ive always been private and i know now i will never change i love being mysterious even to family

@true1evanique 11 ай бұрын

I wish I knew in my subconscious mind in my youth what you speak, but I had to learn through years of experiences. There were times my inner voice would say, "Travel Alone", but I would second guess it trying to be nice. What I realized is that, it takes energy to be a fool, and at some point that energy runs out, and you have to face yourself without having guilt and realize no one else should come before you.

@jamiebucher858 10 ай бұрын

I feel like it was divine timing coming across your videos. I’m entering my villain/feminine era and I needed these sooo much. I fell like you are talking directly to me. Thank you for making these, please don’t stop. They are opening my eyes so wide.

@jllytast7079 10 ай бұрын

I used to hate when someone else got something I wanted or “deserved”. I usually wanted the worst for people. But I changed my ways of thinking knowing that that’s a toxic mindset, and I’m (usually) very happy when I see my friends make great accomplishments! I hope in time more people will be able to be more selfless, or at least happy for others

@sonyaestelle6998 9 ай бұрын

I'm the same way, I get so angry and bitter when someone else gets what I wanted. Do share how you overcame that

@user-eg1xw6rj3k 7 ай бұрын

I love how you get right to the point. You are so right.

@user-fz8jk3qi7c 9 ай бұрын

"IS THAT PHYSCO OR IS THAT SCORPIO" made me smile in scorpio🤣

@chokenbako890 11 ай бұрын

You're the older sister I needed in my life, I'm gonna share your channel with all my girl friends who need to hear this, send you good vibes! 🥺💗💗💗

@therealmanifestelle 11 ай бұрын

thank you bestie 😭 share the spoiled girlie word✨🫶🏽

@nla5307 10 ай бұрын

"the only way you can escape the game of power....is if you're dead" LOL SUBBED

@user-ti1ck3gd2g 10 ай бұрын

i would rather be alone than be around people i hate but i would rather be with people i like than alone

@yplee4453 10 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing - totally agree with you! Selfprotection is the keyword. I have cut out the people with negative vibes in my life and STOPPED sharing details on social media. Since then i started to achieve my goals 💯

@saimahkamal1126 10 ай бұрын

When i had to leave the country and best friend of 13 years, i really though i could share anything with anybody. When i started sharing things with the people i got a little close to, i get fucked over. One thing great about my best friend was that i never had to worry about her talking behind my back or judgement. She never took pleasure in my pain, nor did she treat me secondary because of it.

@boopboop9356 11 ай бұрын

This feels so intimate and like a convo with a friend ❤

@therealmanifestelle 11 ай бұрын

🥹🥹ty bestie

@NormallyImKim Ай бұрын

Thank you I really needed this. In school, I feel desperate to fit in and I tend to overshare, which exposes me to a lot of scrutiny. I act unbothered but I'm paranoid. I don't know if some will use my information against me, but I know I need to change this bad habit of mine and love myself more.

@ashleyannephd 2 ай бұрын

This is such a great topic to focus on - people can be like crabs in a bucket, so I love that you've emphasized keeping things to yourself to avoid that.

@Blessed_Daye 11 ай бұрын

I love this video. A private life is definitely better!

@---qu9uf 11 ай бұрын

“Don’t tell your next move.”

@co_7523 10 ай бұрын

"Make moves in silence."

@KENCHANECO 8 ай бұрын

I came across this video and i can relate to what youre saying so much. this is perfect timing for me.

@227Love 11 ай бұрын

Mostly no one gaf, they just curious 👀 especially if you’re blessed

@onlyrain5306 10 ай бұрын

Yes! Sometimes when I keep my trials to myself I can endure it but telling others just makes it harder cuz they start to pity you etc

@itsmerani8294 11 ай бұрын

I really needed to hear this. One problem I come across is dealing with the Asian community. I find it hard to stand up for myself and to not share any personal information. Things get around when if you are trying to stay private.

@justinam7163 11 ай бұрын

Girl, I needed you in my life! I've been on a fem energy journey for a while and was in my full fem power, but then I started caring about other people's opinions too much again and none of my other go-to youtube (etc) people hit the spot anymore. You shifted something for me immediately! Bless you, GODDESS! 🤩💖

@Vegastellar 6 ай бұрын

In arabic we have a saying that says "Seek help in having your needs met by being discreet, for everyone who is blessed with something is envied" i always try my best to stick to this

@jojobabayboo 7 ай бұрын

I'm so glad I stumbled on your channel. You are wise and your vids are much needed therapy.

@cisforchanel 11 ай бұрын

thanks bestie, i notice that when i tend to rant to a certain group of friends ab boy probs they hardly respond unless I spam whereas when one of them has boy probs they tend to all respond & get really active, it annoys me sm & I wanted to call them out on it but I'm taking this vid as my sign to not even bother ❤❤❤

@foodie73328 9 ай бұрын

I definitely felt this. Sharing my ideas has always been a problem. When I had a problem it was just out there. My informative power just led those who’ve seen me as light to extreme depression.