What kind of trauma do you bring into your relationships?

Timestamps 1). The wounded child 1:00 2). The adaptive child 1:44 3). The functional adult 2:25 1). Difficulty trusting others 3:06 2). The need for perfection 3:34 3). Trouble communicating or expressing needs 4:14 4). Difficulty setting clear boundaries 4:44 5). No desire to connect or bond with others 5:13 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

I never once been in a real relationship, but I have suffered a lot of wounds.

Fear, depression, and trauma are loyal friends to each other. The traumatic memory causes us to collapse psychologically, so we fear for what is to come. So... the past kills the present to stain the future with its blood

Can we talk about when people actually leave you? When it's them and not you? I've always been introverted and had a hard time making genuine friendships but when I did find "my people", our friendship lasted for (surprisingly) five months. I left because they showed me that I don't really matter to them (or that's what my brain made me believe). There were moments I felt like they don't really like me. Again, it was the voices but those people also showed me, in their way, that they don't care. Unread messages, ignoring me in my face etc. Idk.

The more people I talk to, the more I realise how much my mom projected so much of her childhood trauma onto me. It affects my behavior in ways I'm only now beginning to realize as an adult. I consistantly find myself asking "wait, your mom DOESN'T do that?" As a kid, she had one alcoholic parent, two abusive parents, and was always treated as the odd one out, being given less attention or importance than her siblings. The constant comparisons to her siblings continued into adulthood. I think she'd be better off if she got therapy, but she refuses to acknowledge she has a problem in the first place. Any time her unrealistic standards or occasionally toxic behavior (likely stemming from her rough childhood) is brought up, she takes it VERY personally. Instesd of taking criticism, she'll bury her head in the sand and say "why are you saying these horrible things about me?" or "you're being VERY disrepectful right now!" as if that invalidates any of what I'm saying. I'm 23 and I don't know ANYONE who behaves in some of the concerning ways she does. A recent argument ended with me trying to calmly explain the problem with her behavior to her while she screamed at me to shut up. Yeah...I'm DEFINITELY getting therapy once I move away from home so I don't end up like her. She doesn't know it, but she consistantly pushes her childhood trauma onto everyone around her. Edit: I also have a tendency to get defensive. I keep expecting people to overreact to things like my mom does, so I always have trouble trusting people to not be judgemental. Once I realize the other person is not going to ignore my opinions, or confuse me sharing my opinions for an attack on theirs, I always have a moment of confusion. "Wait, you're actually going to listen to what I have to say, AND take it seriously? Even if it doesn't perfectly align with your opinion? People can do that"? I always find myself bouncing back and fourth between this defensiveness, and the sigh of relief that follows. People have said I always seem nervous at first, and a little too eager to please. Even my mom has said I need to curb my tendency to constantly apologise for everything. Ironic, given I believe the behaviour originated as a defense mechanism against her in the first place.

I’m an adaptive child to a T. My father and stepmother were very emotionally abusive, and I would yell back to defend myself, but it led to me continuing it as an adult, using anger to express my needs and having trouble putting up boundaries because my parents never respected my boundaries, such as barging in my door, reading my diary, deciding many major aspects of my life for me instead of allowing me to do that myself. I’m very fortunate to have a partner who loves and understands me as I am, but she doesn’t deserve for me to be angry at her because she tries as hard as she possibly can to make me happy. Like in the video, I also have trust issues because my parents and extended family turned their backs on me, so I feel like everyone who says they love me will betray me. Part of me is scared to put all my trust in my partner, but she asked if I could try to take her word more often. I love her and want to. We’ve been together for over a year, and she hasn’t lied to me yet, so I will put my trust in her. Instead of reacting with anger, I’m learning to take deep breaths instead in the moment or finding personal space to decompress

I am a wounded child until recently. I found out that I was always shutting down and trying to avoid conflict with my Husband. For traumas it has always been number 3 and 4. I’m glad that my husband and I have talked about it properly and we both are on the stages of healing our traumas. Hope everyone is too.

I did and am still doing all the mentioned results for those who have unhealed trauma. Hoping for everyone who had it to find themselves loved and completely healed. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Here's the timestamps :D *The Three Parts of You* 1:00 1. Wounded Child 1:45 2. Adaptive Child 2:26 3. Functional Adult *How Unhealed Traumas Create Negative Patterns in Relationships* 3:06 1. Difficulty Trusting Others 3:34 2. The Need For "Perfection" 4:17 3. Trouble Communicating or Expressing Needs 4:43 4. Difficultly Setting Clear Boundaries 5:14 5. No Desire to Connect or Bond with Others I finally was early enough to do these 😎✌

I've had 2 adolescent episodes. The first one was a broken home, a difficult childhood, and a relationship that got ended by blackmail and betrayal later on. The second episode was the 13 years of depression that followed. This video sums it all up pretty good. I'm 34 years, and I've only been somewhat adult for the past 2 years in a happy new home, after homelessness. Homelessness only resulted in growing up fast, liberation, a serious mental clean up, and a place where I can grow old. But also, I'd like to add some more unhealthy patterns that include this topic; -Poor hygiene, mentally an physically. For years my former home was total mess wich resulted in a stinky nightmare and mice waking me up in bed. For me the poor hygiene resulted in ruined teeth because I didn't brush my teeth properly and never visited a dentist out of shame for crooked teeth. Really, take care for your teeth twice a day with an electric brush, and do your dentist a pleasure to keep your teeth in check with their help! -Drugs and alcohol. I started smoking weed because my mother would regularly trigger me to prove her point, up to the moment I almost attacked her. I still use it minimally to feel better and have a pause of an angry mind. In my second adolescent episode I also developed a drinking habit of a minimum of 2,5 liters beer each day. Result? I don't have friends anymore. Because I had an angry drunk and didn't even remember getting angry at them. I'm glad I stopped alcohol. -Debts. You don't learn to look after yourself in a crappy childhood, physically, mentally and financially. No matter how much your parents tell you that 'you are growing up', while you're only growing bitter and sour. For me, after years of wasting money, it ultimately resulted in homelessness and now a livable budget in a debt restructuring program for the next upcoming years. Having seen how my mother 'dealt' with her debts: sweep it under the rug, unopened letters from plaintiffs were hidden everywhere, warrants from dept collectors etc. Ditch the dysfunctional kid on the streets then leave the country, never to return. What do you expect when you are raised in neglectance and absence of simple common sense. To any other reader than Psych2Go, I can only hope to wake you up with this display of my shortcomings, imperfections and unhealthy patterns.

I love you guys so much I’ve been watching you guys for about 1 1/2 years know you guys always help me understand and give me a different prospective thank y’all for doing what you do ❤

This has been so enlightening in understanding more about myself and why I behave the way I do.

The art in this video is really all out! I keep having to rewind to actually listen instead of getting caught up in the animation

Definitely felt a few of those. Thank you for continuing to make these wonderful helpful videos.

I will not talk about my past (again) as I've done so enough in the past, and at this point it would only serves to fill a "pity gauge" I don't need anymore. But I will say that your channel is very helpful, and that I've never met anyone that wouldn't benifit from watching at least one of your video. Please keep up this good work. Not everyone that you help say it out loud.

I was thinking, you should really do a podcast about healing, self improvement, peer pressure, or whatever you want. I would definitely listen to it, you are really good at making points and being clear about different topics, and your voice is also really calming :D

I was psychologically abused so badly as a child and adult Now healing from the trauma that has been done to me and my son we are getting help with the trauma of his father

A lot of people I care about left me in my life, either just moving away or just sudden death. I regret not spending enough time with any of them and I still have a lot of emotional wounds from my family's words that still haunt me, constant fighting, unsavory living conditions, and inadequate jobs you deny because they don't give you any value as a person. I'm afraid of just talking to someone because I don't want to be called a horrible name. I'm an INFP, so I tend to stick with my thoughts instead of what's right in front of me. It gets tough, especially when you are about to face the realization that years have went on and on without any friends to help relieve that pain, that and refusing to let go of it still makes you feel somewhat like a child who's still trying to make sense of the world. I always put the needs of others before my own, even with complete strangers, and I do realize that it can be dangerous, but I always feel like it's the only validating trait I have as a person. I'm almost always mute and terrified when a person even utters words towards me. I know one day I can probably get over it, but it gets pretty lonely here with my thoughts.

All I have to do is watch one of your videos and your voice simply calms my panic attacks. Also I’ve found so many of your ideas helpful I appreciate you so much

I just realized that I’ve let 3 parts living my life that act like the 3 parts you mentioned sometimes. I call it rational brain, (functional adult) irrational brain, (adaptive child) and unwanted thoughts (wounded child). I think these are extensions of the 3 parts (in my mind) since I’ve already looked at the three, and the 3 I’m talking about are representing them in different ways. I also have 3 parts I think of when I think of my brain. Rational, irrational, and the last part that’s confused about everything but wants to help anyone.

I started out as adaptive, but my parents would aim for the jugular when I gave back to them what they gave to me with threats like destroying things I owned or cherished (like donating my favorite toys to charity while I was still using them), or threatening to make me (a tween at the first time) homeless because it was "their house." This caused me to "adapt" by becoming a wounded child due to the price of fighting back being too high, so I just curled up silently in my corner. It wasn't until my 30's and after several failed relationships that I was able to start being a functional adult. Even though I'm doing my best to be functional, it still feels like I can only be functional after the wounded child has hid in the corner for a minute or two when something upsets me. At least I can stop myself from saying something hurtful until I've gotten the steering wheel back. I definitely resonate with all five of the symptoms. I've worked hard on trusting, communicating and setting boundaries, but this video has opened my eyes about how perfectionism manifests itself. Now I realize that it's been haunting me every day of my life for decades as a strong urge to wait for the right time to do something aka procrastination. I'd just accepted it without making the connection that it was based from childhood trauma. I've also struggled with overcoming my lack of desire to connect or bond with others, especially when it comes to making the effort to remain in contact with friends and family.

Have you ever seen an overgrown plant with its branches growing wild? the reason you begin with just one habit is to fortify your center first. Thicken your trunk to build the strongest foundation possible. After solidifying one habit, you do not suddenly branch out in dozens. No. You choose only one more to add. Nourish it. Be patient, no matter how long it takes. You are choosing the direction of how you will grow. You are sculpting the limbs of your tree. And it is beautiful.

I've been waiting for another video of yours love this place thank you

I cannot allow my self to get hurt again. Arguments were not allowed with my parents. My boundaries were disregarded. Avoid closeness with others to protect myself.

This channel is therapy for me ❤ thank u so much 💜

Thank you so much for your video's. I've been working on myself, and I feel so peaceful now. I haven't even watched this one yet. I do have high anxiety so learning about what triggers that will help.

The fact that I have trust issues and no desire to bond that I heard in this video, seems to tell something about me Ig, but I can't remember what made me be the way I am as of currently.

The last one hit home. I have yet to have any desire to meet anyone or do anything new that would be a breath of fresh air. I feel that my life is toxic down to my blood (really horrible family). Thanks for the video.

Thank you for talking about this ❤

Nice video . voice is so soothing to listen to. Everything you said makes perfect sense. I struggle with a lot of this.

Raise your hand if you've been watching Psych2Go for a long time🤚

Ah finally something to make this day better

*This is a much needed video for avoidants*

Wow.. I really relate to 3, 4 and 5. I didn't even realize these behaviors/ beliefs had anything to do with trauma. But the correlation is clearly accurate.

I felt I was all 3 wounded, adaptive child and functional adult on my last relationship. I definitely had unresolved childhood trauma that negatively impacted and destroyed the relationship. Noticing a pattern of behavior, I got therapy and began to understand why I behaved the way I did and how to better deal with it. I highly recommend therapy for people struggling with negative patterns they're experiencing or behaving with others. Education on emotional awareness, depression, and attachment styles are also paramount in today's relationships because everyone seems to be dealing with trauma and depression in some way. Learning how to navigate those emotional and mental spaces with your partners respectfully is something that is critical. I'm much better off now after therapy and doing a lot of innerwork after the break up. Good luck to everyone trying to make it in today's dating world and be kind.

❤ This video hit a lot of key points in my life right now

I feel like talking today, seeing this much empathy in the comments makes me confortable with doing it, and this video comes at a time where i realized i needed someone to hold my hand to go through a relationship because of the different schemes i have been gifted from my parents and life in general. I met this girl at work, older than me, a real sunshine, me ? A wallflower, i don't go towards people in general, she made that move. I didn't fully heal from my previous adventure with a girl that felt like we were sharing the same traumas, it ended violently because she was so scared to get hurt when i unfortunately got on that path because i was scared too, but i was aware of it, and trying to figure it out, she just didn't want to understand that if we loved each other we would have to listen carefully, i still miss her so much even though i understood a lot of things i didn't want to hear in the past, i made mistakes but i learned a lesson, and i want to thank her for that even though she will never read this. I chose to be alone since that to figure how i could overcome what stops me from loving and be loved. The work girl came naturally and we clicked without forcing it since i wasn't searching for anything. There was too much obstacles to take it seriously, that didn't stop me from catching a little bit more feelings than i should, she did too. We had an argument yesterday about the fact that i get scared, i talked to her about my reassurance need and that she would have to hold my hands like she did to know me if she wanted it to be, she explained that considering the death of her last boyfriend/burnout from work and all she needs someone confident about this, and that felt like an answer, the one that i didn't got with the other girl. Eventually someone will, i hope so, cause i want it, and i do my best to be honest about me and my needs. Healing is a matter of time and will, i hope whoever is coping with something like that in his dating life feels it's not impossible cause i don't

thank you for this. enlightening. thanks

Well, I would say that those three parts are running my life some at a time, but I think the one who runs it most is the wounded child part. As a child in a family who does not care about the emotional field at all, and just want their child to grow up and accept that the world sucks and that no one is ever really gonna care for you "like they do", I do not really think I have much of a possibility to get help. I honestly cannot tell anymore which parts of my life got me my traumas, because everything is a foggy mess out of trying to forget. Trust difficulties, trouble expressing, and no desire of bonds are the most prevalent, the need for perfection also exists, as my father demands perfection even thought he himself does not realize it, but that is only for myself, not towards others in my life. I really want to keep the love of my life forever, but the feeling of never being enough never leaves me, because I was branded a failure and nothing more.

The fact that I can relate to most of the video. :) Trigger warning? When I was younger, my dad wouldn't know how to handle my emotions so he would inflict fear on me to make me not really express my emotions that much, he would also traumatize me by doing certain things (not sexually.) But now he's trying and has stopped most of those actions. But sometimes he does remind me of how he used to act towards me. Anyways, amazing video again, like always Psych2go!!! ❤❤❤

This video, like many of your other videos is what I will to use for not the present, but as a plan for the future ahead. For the future is unpredictable, and so is the present we live in.

Hearing that last one made me tear up.

I was a social butterfly once. Ready to make friends with anyone and be nice. High School messed me up. Bunch o' morons messed me up. Bullies. I can't not hate them for they've done to me. There's some barrier that I'm unable to push against to make friendships again or build healthy relationships with anyone again. It's almost impossible. Like I can't push through the barrier. Something involuntarily holds me back. Due to this, I have trouble trusting others most of the time. I have the need to be perfect not because of how it was put in this video but in a different way. My parents and caretakers were too nice to me saying "it's okay! It's alright" for every mistake I did in the past. Even for the biggest ones. As I grew up, I realized the severity of some bad actions that my parents and elders responded to in the same way. I figured they were pampering me too much and I should be perfect and actually try to be good myself as much as possible. Not take mistakes lightly and severely punish myself if I had to. Setting clear boundaries is another thing I have that's a problem. I'm too nice sometimes. Sometimes it's a gift, sometimes it's a curse. My trouble trusting caused me to put me in a mindset where "I have don't have to connect or bonds with others." or "I don't want to". The above point also contributes to that cuz I feel people will walk over me if I trust them and offer them help. But it's whatever. I'll get there eventually. This video really did help relate and I'm sure it can help a lot of people relate too. I've seen and watched many of your videos but this one, I can relate to a lot. Keep up the good work

From all your videos, this one is THAT video that i can relate to in EVERY single points. Usually from the rest are just 2 or 3 points that relates to me, but that one, all points does it🤗Greetings from Germany🇩🇪love you❤

I can relate to alot of these videos, but this one hits home. I learnt to not ask for help; not talk about certain topics, be a people pleaser, hide from people that either endangered me or sought to use me, and bottle everything up... First from my mother, then from other family members, then from everyone... The constant bullying and rejection from nearly everyone at school, coupled with the abuse and emotional absence of my mother, the pressure to do well academically from family, the attempts to turn me into an orthodox Christian from my grandmother, the worry of upsetting my father, who is also dealing with mental abuse and trauma (of which then manafested into controlling behaviour that I didn't notice right away, and now in hindsight, he may had been imposing his own treatment and truamas onto me much longer than I realised)... Before I realised I'd put myself in a position where I hardly trusted anyone, and thus didn't get help... Proper help. I learnt to bottle things up and just deal with things, and I thought it would be bad to be seen as weak or vulnerable. I'm not sure if this was out of fear of being taken (further) advantage of, not wanting to (further) burden others, or both, but in any case, I started keeping more and more to myself. My desire to hold on to any friendships I did make added more pressure, as I didn't want to upset them. I became a people pleaser so that people would be more likely to accept me. I couldn't (and still can't)set clear boundaries. And when I needed help the most, I was either abandoned, manipulated or just outright yelled at. I also felt like I was put on a pedestal due to my academic achievements - when honestly I probably just had a sponge for a brain as a kid, ntm the education system structure is built for that for the most part (I digress). As I got older I hated it more and more because I didn't feel 'smart' and I hated that people looked up to me for being 'smart' or 'good'. I felt like I was on stage but not to act - which was something I originally wanted to persue - more like a bit of an idol Instead of anyone teaching me things that would be incredibly important for becoming an independent adult, or navigate social situations, etc, my praises were sung for being a goody too shoes, being able to regurgitate (mostly) useless information, going through institutes, and making others happy. My deeper needs basically got swept under a rug, and not knowing better, didn't think much of them until I was kicked out of home - because I had exhausted my usefulness to my mother. I didn't know how to get the right help... I still don't. I've always felt weird about talking to total strangers about my deepest scars, thoughts and experiences, and I've had bad experiences with councillors. I only confided with a small handful of people I thought I could trust... And then even that came back to bite me. And so the moment I fail or do something wrong, everything hurts all the more, the disappoint, shame, and then abandonment/rejection. Each incident added to a glass, each incident made me lose trust and faith in the people I cared deeply for, especially if they hurt me in a new way that I was oblivious to, each incident made me put more walls up... And then I let someone new in all over again Now I just can't get close to anyone, I constantly question if my remaining connections will eventually leave me behind, I'm enstranged from family, my relationship with my parents are broken, I feel lost in and scared of my relationship,and I'm constantly scared im going to be forever harassed, burdened and shunned by my past.

My parents did the best job raising me that they could, but i also inherited all their demons. Their traumas became my traumas, and it messed me up as a kid and well into adulthood. I wish I could say things get better, but honestly, the pain never goes away. You just learn to get better at living with it.

The saddest part of the whole emotional damage situation is that it takes a person to help undo the damage done by the person/people who have damaged you! Ergo the cycle of the damaged people continues, due to isolation; distrust and not putting ourselves first.

All of this is me to the point I felt like a bobblehead nodding so much my head was about to fall off. Some of the things were even more literal in my life. "That's not good enough." "That needs to be better." "You can do better." "Doing anything for yourself is selfish." "I don't care if you're in pain, you WILL bake something for your neighbors." "Your purpose in life is to do for others, not yourself." I heard all of this growing up on top of the feelings that just came from the treatment as well. I have to be perfect at everything I do, by their standards, and I am not worthy of anything (love, a comfortable place to sit or sleep, any possessions, etc.). And trusting people? Yeah, no. I learned so early in life not to trust anyone, I don't even trust myself. The 3 types are all alive in me. They just come out at different times. Wounded when dealing with my family and often when alone and thinking about it all. Adaptive with my one friend and when I was in classes. Functional when I'm troubleshooting something. Most of the time I think I'm in adaptive mode. I find adulting far too difficult and draining.

Wow this is a perfect description of me and why I’m still single after so many years.

I subscribed to you a couple of days ago...and in this short period of time you have helped me a lot... thank you❤️

Truly right! I have got lots of traumas from my mom, she abused me for 18 years, and now I’m still being single!

Amazing how you can always post the answer exactly after a problem showed up

I am NOT crying, you are😭 I relate to all except (kinda) the “Functional Adult” my dad is one of the main reasons. I broke up w my boyfriend due to the fact I was scared of getting to attached then hurt. My dad emotionally hurts my mom, I’m still young so I still hear them fight. I have two younger brothers ones still very little, my other brother and I always cry, but I try not to cry in front of him. I always feel like it’s my job to take care of my siblings, especially when our parents fight, even with my friends I always have to make them feel better and safe since (once again) I always have felt like it was my job. My mom she’s very caring and she has gone through a lot more trauma then I have and she always tells me that I can talk to her since HER mom wasn’t home all the time and her dad was not really in the picture, my dad on the other hand, he is more closed in his parents were both there he had older siblings he had MUCH less strict parents then my mom. They grew up in VERY different house holds. My dad, he always tries to take the things out of me and try to “help” by making me laugh. Anyways that explains a lot about the way I act with people and my relationships. Back to what I was saying about my (now) ex-boyfriend, I found out he was cheating on me with his girl best friend.. I had my suspicions, but I honestly never thought, I was giving him the benefit of the doubt… obviously that didn’t turn out great. At least I’m not super down about it.. it still hurt and I’m not sure how to feel. Anyways you helped me sm figuring myself out the past two (ish) years. Thank you so much again.❤

You are describing me not from parent trauma but other people in my childhood

my brain tells me there's no point in socializing, and my heart tells me I have to socialize or else I won't survive 🤣

Thank you. ❤

Everything happened to me and I can't even ask for help because people will think I'm crazy because I'm bipolar and anorexic too. So I've always had to hide forever and have no discussion with my mother or anyone because they don't understand or listen to what I say. It's just that...... It's not for me. The world is not my place

It really do be like that trama never leaves

Phyc2go people were bullying me at school I felt I was hated around the world I felt I was nothing until I saw ur channel and it saved me thank U so much

One of the biggest issues that I have is opening up to people it’s because people won’t understand the things I’ve been through or the way I feel about things that might not mean anything to them but when I do sometimes people just dismiss the things I say and are like it’s all in your head or they just don’t believe me when i tell them what I’ve been through or they just don’t listen so I just kind of stopped telling people things but I am trying to get better and I am making progress with the help of Psych2go help

That thumbnail physically makes me want to sit down next to them and give them a hug. Looks like they need it.

Thank you fkr being great and always helpful and a reliable source of mental health knowledge

Thanks for this video😢

Wounded Children Rise 😔✊

thank for sharing dear friend❤

As an adolescent I had my mother who is always strict at academics we don't talk too much through years I keep pushing myself to get to the top of the class this leaves me push me to the edge a lot of times luckily I have the school psychiatrist helping me recover from intense school burnout and depression even I still have my mother, who is close-minded.

I relate to all these points 💔💔

Number 4: Abandonment triggers cause people pleasing. Less so now but a recent former relationship hit the fan because I tried too hard to make something work that likely wasn't going to. For instance as an ENFP I'm driven by Emotions and my ex was on the Autism spectrum) I thought we were managing things but towards the end I was wrong. Other than that and a few other key red flags (I'm an introverted extrovert who wants to travel eventually, they are a homebody who doesn't really want to go anywhere) Other than that we had similar experiences and very similar interests which was a step up from my relationship before this one but because of those glaring red flags it was ultimately doomed from the beginning. You live and you learn. I broke it off in December last year, still stings a bit because I did fall for their mind and they did have a big heart just didn't know how to express it and didn't have the energy to. I did love them and a part of me still does but I know there's always someone else. My ex and I helped each other through some bad times but ultimately it wasn't meant to be.

What lead to my trauma was the result of many factors. Fake friends/dates leaving me in the dust out of nowhere gave me some bad trust issues. Many people blame for absolutely everything bad that happens. A lot of scolding I get is because of bad events I couldn't prevent, which makes me feel guilty. I get compared to others a lot, which lead to me comparing myself to others as confirmation "I suck." I have transformed into a people pleaser. I do everything for people, and I have a very hard time saying no. I was so conditioned by the "if you say no, you're cruel/lame/boring" stigma, and now I work way too hard for people who do almost nothing for me, hoping they'd like me in the future. Of course it never works. Romantic relationships? I may never bother with those, again. Women don't like me. My voice is horribly high-pitched for a dude near his dang 20s. I have clothing styles I like, but they aren't attractive, I guess. No girl genuinely said I looked good, besides one (who ended up showing plastic love). Every other girl either says something mean to me, doesn't bother with me, or instantly friend zones me. Before you "sigma folk" come at me, yes I HAVE BEEN CONFIDENT. YES I HAVE WORKED OUT. YES I HAVE A JOB. YES I HAVE A NICE CAR. IT DOESN'T FLIPPING WORK UNLESS YOU ARE TALL AND HANDSOME. Stop lying to me, bruh. Ok I'm done ranting. My life is still not that much better. I'm hoping for some change but it'll never come, man.

The dissociation that causes lack of concentration and the inability to absorb information on the fly is something that I now realize got me fired from my last job and devastating my already low self-esteem and self-confidence. Seeing my psychiatrist and taking new medicine did little to solve the problem. My bosses complained that I seemed absent, was always nervous (a turn-off for costumers) and was very forgetful. I also made mistakes despite my best efforts. They fired me on those grounds after six months. This was a year and a half ago...

Her voice cures my depression

For me the internal triggers are very hard to conquer. For thousands of years we have evolved running away from discomfort. Now days, in order to thrive I have to embrace it. It's a psychological challenge for me and I can't be consistent with my routines. Every time I plan for something that I want to do for me, my brain responds in a totally different way the next day. I don't have the same problems when I promise something to someone else.

Hiii First of all i love your vids, they helped me a lot truly. And second i wanted to ask you a question but you don't have to do it. I was thinking if you can make a video about child's relationships with their grandparents. I find videos of dads and moms, but i have more problems with my granny who is settles on me bc her children and other grandchildren already had enough. I can't say no to her bc she has hard time with depression and suicide. She lost his husband, she is really lonely. But it's just too much for me that she wants to know everything about my days... Sorry for asking favours, and have a good day!

2:48 broke me😞, after so many times getting mentally attacked and parents fighting constantly I detached myself, I stuck that little child into the deepest and safest Cavern, of my mind and a Sea of barriers and I swore that my soul shall break before that little child ever gets hurt again, I became a loner and became stronger to protect it, my youngest sister says I need therapy, but I refuse to lower a barrier to anyone especially a stranger, I'm terrified to think I may have to let myself through the barriers and not necessarily letgo but confront the child, and I'm afraid of what the result might be.

the last one hit me like a truck on a highway. i have lost so many people in my life that were dear to me, mostly by them abandoning or replacing me. the last 2 relationships i've been in left me terrified of talking through DMs with others online. i have no friends either. yet i wish so much i wasn't lonely. i wish i was liked, accepted and wanted. i'm going to therapy, but i have so much to deal with that there hasn't been any progress on that topic.

yes, totally

I relate a lot to #3 and #5 . I struggle a lot with dissasociating almost every day, i never feel like i belong in my own body. I never feel seen or understood, not even by my friends. :(

I'm an adaptive child, not to my partner but to my family and friends. I'm also number 3, I have a lot of trouble communicating and showing my emotions, not all of them but the sad ones. When I'm upset i shit down and won't say a word. none of this my actions are from my parents though, it's more from bullying. I've been getting bullied since I started school, and I still am. It's hard... Especially since half of my friend group and my boyfriend are getting bullied as well.

This one hits so hard to me who had a problem communicating and expressing It really hurts that my partner wants to cool off because of me but i cant express even say a word to her how i feel.

I can relate. My mom divorced my abusive father when I was 10 or 11. My sister and I chose to live with our mother. Afterwards, our father refused to even communicate with us. In my 20s and early 30s, I had mostly negative dating experiences. Though I’ve gotten professional help, I still have no desire to be romantically involved with anyone, much less get married. Honestly, I’m glad to be single with no kids. My main priority now is to look after my retired mother. My focus is on the present and future, not the past that can’t be changed.

And idea for a video can u maybe do a video of what it could mean when u get nervous around a friend, or just a person in general ? Ty and have a wonderful day and stay safe❤

I’ve difficulty trusting people. I’ve the need for perfection. I’ve low levels. I’ve been putting other needs before. I’ve no motivation to talk to anyone. I relate to all of them.

Tension/stress, not being social at all to anyone minus close friends or people I see regularly, and overall just lack of communication just absolutely feels like me whenever I tried to start a conversation with people. It's no necessarily the fact that I apologize it's more of the fact that I have the feeling that the person isn't going to give a care about me. I also have the mindset of not seeking a love interest. And while people be classifying people into groups like that (which I call bs on 100% even as a Gen z I find it stupid for how many labels there are) I personally just don't see worth in a lot of things. I'm not as bad as I used to be (Thank the Lord) but I still struggle with self worth and having a life where I don't have the urge to pull what is left of my hair out. It's why I intentionally cut it short. Also little sisters as a teenager can absolutely contribute to having trauma if you are forced to deal with it long enough.

Could you please make a video on the differences between unhealed trauma and healed trauma (or at least, what unhealed trauma means)? The term confuses me because I don’t know what unhealed trauma exactly is.

Hey, Psych2Go. I have seen this suggested before, but I want to bring a bit more attention to it. I was wondering if you could make a video on combined disorders. One example would be ADHD and autism. I feel like it would be helpful to many people if videos on a topic like that were made. Thanks!

Oh wow, I related to practically all of that. Also, I may have balance between those three traits, but I think that might just be me mainly showing the trait of, "Adaptive Child"

I have to admit (I’ve told one person about this and just fyi it wasn’t my mom or dad), when I was 8, I was sexually assaulted by my elder cousin who at the time was a teenager. He would constantly touch me inappropriately and even followed me into the bathroom and began to touch me there too. There was a time he orally touched me and forced me to orally touch him as well (he forced me to give him head and forced it soon me too). Now, I knew that something was wrong because we were kids and relatives. However, I was a very naive child, having grown up very sheltered. I did not understand what had happened until I learn what rape and SA were in 5th grade. Even so I was suspicious that the things my cousin did to me and made me do were wrong but something kept me from telling someone. I was afraid that I would get in trouble or my cousin would hurt me. So I didn’t say anything. I’ve lived with that haunting me for seven years and almost broke down when are teachers asked if anyone we know has gone through anything like that. In the beginning of this year I had found a friend that I trusted and told her about that since the topic was brought up. I’m currently 15 and have only told one person. I’m not super mentally scarred since I never understood what had happened until way later in life but I still am a little traumatized. I don’t like being touched I hate the topic of sex if it’s not scientific, I get very anxious around guys and am fearful of dating in general. This is because I am scared it’ll happen again and possibly be even worse. I’m sorry if I sound dramatic or am giving “main character” vibes. I don’t mean to be like that and I’m not looking for attention I swear, I just want to share my experiences with people I actually can share them with. Thank you for reading

I'm a perfectionist, and yet I still don't know how or when my parents wounded me psychologically. even though my dad wasn't there to love me as much as my mom, I still got a lot of love and care. it's overwhelming to have to keep treating everything that is already diagnosed, and to find out that there's roots that dig deeper down that I have to fix 😭

Im glad that i found this videos they do help!

i relate to the last one

Yes exactly!!!

This was an amazing video ❤❤🤗🤗 I need a favor Can you make a video on how to heal with trauma?

The last person I was in a relationship with told me that the only reason our relationship was broken is because ALL of my relationships were broken (reffering to a fall out with my father), and that my default state was hurt. I think that hurt more than anything that could have possibly been said in that moment. My solution was to block her on everything and delete her contact, which I still cry over doing. I imagine a perfect person in my head, scenario after scenario, temporaily providing safety within myself. I don't allow for closeness anymore, because I fear that she was actually right.

I have a lot of issues with communicating wants and needs and i put my partner above myself. Even had him get frustrated with me for not hearing him clearly and having to repeat himself. I’m only now getting to be myself. Never properly learned a lot of important things

As of now, I can relate to the functional adult (despite the failures it had) and the difficulty setting boundaries. In the Philippines, some of my relatives ask me if I have a girlfriend, to which I do not. Well, they can ask you awkward and personal questions many times. Really, that is already bothering me.

im in my first real relationship:) I have a few friends that i know but my partner is the first closest relationship i’ve ever had and i’ve been with them for almost 8 months :) but i’m doubtful, ashamed, insecure, scared, jealous and angry my partner has never been horrible to me the only case is when they broke a small promise it made me have ideas that would harm me more that benefit i don’t know how to reach out so im trying

Ok, yeah, I feel like I related to this too much😅 I'm definitely the "wounded child," and I have problems with communicating, amongst other things.

I HAVE ptsd (which is a sickness because of Traumata) since over 1 year and I can only say that you get schizophrenia and other things and if I didn't took my medicine I was like a father and this what you us telling us is true

The moment that i can't even scream, cry, and get angry even to your family is annoying and sad I just stay silent afraid of what might happen or letting the situation worst. I've done some horrible things along my life and I try to change however something seems to pull me back. If only psychological help is free in my country.