Can't Find Love? Here's Why...
Рет қаралды 309,593
Күн бұрынIn this video, we'll discuss why it's so hard to find love and give you some tips on how to start getting closer to the person you're interested in. Love is such a powerful emotion and it can be hard to find in our modern world. In this video, we'll discuss why it's so hard to find love and give you some tips on how to start getting closer to the person you're interested in. Whether you're single and looking for love or you've been single for a while and don't know how to fix it, this video is for you!
Researcher/writer: Sara Del Villar
Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Thumbnail Artist: Sam Rain
Animator: Ayacchi / ayacchi
KZfaq Manager: Cindy Cheong
REFERENCES
Zarrabi, R (2020, March 16 ) Why You Keep Attracting Unavailable Partner. Psychology Today, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-dating/202003/why-you-keep-attracting-unavailable-partners
Lloyd, S (2022, Oct 31) 5 Key Reasons You Can’t Find Love, According to Experts
Brides.com. www.brides.com/why-cant-i-find-love-4176448#:~:text=Confidence%20and%20self%2Desteem%20play,huge%20impact%20on%20our%20lives
The Dating Truth. (2019, Nov 11)This Is Why You Can’t Find Love
Medium.com thedatingtruth.medium.com/this-is-why-you-cant-find-love-722af5c30359
Lagudu, S (2022, Oct 30) 'Why Can't I Find Love': 15 Reasons You Might Be Struggling
. Mom Junction. www.momjunction.com/articles/why-cant-i-find-love_00719205/
healthpsychologyconsultancy.wordpress.com/2012/12/19/the-rescuer-personality-the-white-knight/
Moore, A (2022, Aug 23) What Is Insecure Attachment Style? + How It Manifests In Relationships
. Mind Body Green. www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/insecure-attachment-style
Brown, A (2020, Aug 20) Nearly Half of U.S. Adults Say Dating Has Gotten Harder for Most People in the Last 10 Years. Pew Research
www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/
@Psych2go Жыл бұрын
In order to raise more awareness of mental health, we are doing a live interview next week on the schizophrenia. If this is a topic that interests you, you can click this link: kzfaq.info-LqFUibwqrM?feature=share
@m00nl1ghART Жыл бұрын
@Speed Trainer YT me too, this channel helped me with my depression, anxiety ADHD, biploar, borderline, heartbreaks, rejections and so much more! I love this channel. ❤
@Archery11 Жыл бұрын
mine the person likes me and i like them the same way but don't still feel at ease why?
@treedreamerwhisper3983 Жыл бұрын
Im certified schizo :3 so I'll prolly check it out your usually pretty spot on .I'll do the check list, looking forward to your stream.
@KrazyKirbyKid Жыл бұрын
TYSM this really helped ( I'm talking about the video I don't even know what schizophrenia is )! But can you also help with the fact that a psychopath that I know has this life mission and that life mission is KILLING ME???? Aparently he also is VERY violant. Can you make a video on how to outsmart a psychopath please? That would help because then I would not have to worry about people killing me.
@treedreamerwhisper3983 Жыл бұрын
@@KrazyKirbyKid schizophrenia is a mental illness , usually paranoid behavior hearing things or seeing things, sometimes there's other side effects or "traits" like behavior bipolar like symptoms. :3 as for your pycho problem I'd advise to just avoid them. I don't know your situation or how it transpired but hope it works itself out :)
@TheNevendero Жыл бұрын
*"Love is like a fart. If you need to push it, it's most definitely shit"* ~ _Sun Tzu, Art of Luv_
@phamminhcuong9491 Жыл бұрын
Quote of the day :))
@sinemyerlikaya6939 Жыл бұрын
Woww…
@fatcatdoreamon8182 Жыл бұрын
Ironically, my crush compared love to a shit. They say, "Love is like a shit, the more you try to keep it the harder it gets and the more painful. But when you let it go, let out your feelings you could say that it's a success." I can still remember how they say it with full convection and a fist to the sky. Lmao
@Shyroxas Жыл бұрын
Ok I love that can I tell my kids that if I ever have any?😂😂
@zephdo2971 Жыл бұрын
god this is gold 😂
@tylersong8745 Жыл бұрын
You never find something if you’re desperately looking for it..
@doraemon6054 Жыл бұрын
Is it true?
@ColyaIsMental Жыл бұрын
Just like my missing pen
@sninja332 Жыл бұрын
Facts
@Shagun151 Жыл бұрын
what a thing u said bruh!!!😭😭😭😭
@keiron.4612 Жыл бұрын
Very true where is my mystery girlfriend 😂
@A55a551n Жыл бұрын
Timestamps 1). You fall for unavailable people 0:51 2). You think you don't deserve it 2:24 3). You aren't putting yourself out there 3:14 4). You are afraid of getting hurt 3:57 5). You are choosing wrong 4:40 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
@seanmcfadden3712 Жыл бұрын
Yes! Especially if fictional characters count as "unavailable people"!😢 ... Though, if they're in a relationship, my brain just says "forbidden" and blocks the crush. Which gets really awkward if I start having the crush, then realise the in universe shipping. The crush is blocked, but the emotions take a while to disappear and aren't connected to anything, so they feel really weird.
@nicholasleipzig5448 Жыл бұрын
I'm not old enough to be in a relationship but I really hope I get away from my family and get some friends. They emotionally abuse me. My mother always starts a heated argument whenever I try to express my feelings. She gets furious when I cry in front of her. My dad says he loves me but never shows it during the time I need him the most. My sister is an arrogant, pathetic btch. She always mocks me for having no social connections and tells me I can do nothing in life. None of my family members care for me. Whenever I try to ask for their support they always reject me and say that it's all karma. I'm fed up of hearing this. I've seen these videos and they sometimes give me comfort that I'm not the only one suffering this.
@luvbear4432 Жыл бұрын
Yeah that sounds accurate
@A55a551n Жыл бұрын
@TsareenUnite not a problem
@DefinitelyNotHidan Жыл бұрын
@@seanmcfadden3712 that is just sad if you fell in love with a character
@Jester____ Жыл бұрын
I've been feeling a mixture of not deserving love and jealousy lately, I hate it. Watching my friends find their significant others with ease has been making me cynical. I want to be happy for them. I just feel like a defective item that no one wants.
@gambitadamson1074 Жыл бұрын
i feel your pain friend love is just another commodity to be bought and sold to the highest bidder
@rikitikitavatiki Жыл бұрын
I know that feeling. It's like being the broken toy on the shelf next to a dozen brand-new ones. Surprise of surprises, they get bought first. Turns out, nobody actually wants a broken teddy bear like me. I can't say I blame them.
@gambitadamson1074 Жыл бұрын
@@rikitikitavatiki thats both sad and relatable
@naruhina908 Жыл бұрын
You have every right to be cynical. It just proves the point that love is a bullshit concept that only works for people who aren't defective and have something to offer of value. That's why I don't bother with it. It's a pointless, superficial endeavor with no return on my investment I put into trying to find it. Maybe it'll come when I'm finally a successful doctor and have some worth and value as a human, but until then, love is a pointless and nonexistent concept for some of us 🤷🏿♀️
@franciscarojas7295 Жыл бұрын
I feel the same, I see my friends with their significant others, with me being the only one who never had it and it feels awful, I still feel happy for them, but one big part of my head says "You may never get that, you are not liked, so stop wanting it and keep living single, you have done that your whole life anyways"
@bbgnice Жыл бұрын
33-year-old man, and I've never had a date/intimacy in my life. I, for the longest time, felt as if I've never deserved love. I never bothered with putting myself out there. I now realize that it's all a lie and trying to build myself up. This video is nice to keep myself hopeful. I'm just going to keep working and hoping that someday it'll change. Nothing hurts worse than feeling as if love doesn't exist for you. I wish you all the best and shine on.
@christophernash8166 Жыл бұрын
Just remember we are living in the hardest time to find love and that people are way more shallow than they ever have been. Still if someone isn't finding someone, it still hurts, but the real reality is 90 percent of those on dating apps are trash. Maybe more. And bars are the worst place to find meaningful relationships. Those who aren't looking for anything meaningful are going to usually be the most shallow or discriminating.
@naruhina908 Жыл бұрын
I mean, I'm in my late 20s and gave up on the idyllic fantasy of chasing after a nonexistent concept. It's tedious with little return on any investment I put into it, so why bother?
@TheFuture88 Жыл бұрын
Just get jacked and go to Thailand!
@hachiroku8677 Жыл бұрын
These videos are for teenagers. Check out Alpha Male Strategies. He's the real deal. Stay strong, brother!
@izzylandyt Жыл бұрын
I’m 30 gonna be 31…still no significant other, no kiss, no sex, no family of my own. Hell, I barely have friends. If anything, I’m forced to be the therapist for others who have everything. Plus I’m held to a very high standard and constantly being judged.
@Azraelith Жыл бұрын
I can say with certainty that if you actively try to fall in love, you will struggle. True love genuinely just happens and when it all feels natural then you know it's love and not infatuation.
@dericmederos1514 Жыл бұрын
It's so ironic when I wasn't looking to date (focusing on school and work) i had girls say they had a crush on me; i would talk to them casually and friendly not expecting anything nor looking for it. BUT when i did want a relationship that's when it became impossible to find a partner since it's, funny enough, creepy or not attractive for someone to find a partner
@GastNdorf Жыл бұрын
It's a lie, you have to work on yourself and make yourself available, if you don't, it will never happen.
@Prawnii Жыл бұрын
@@GastNdorf YEP experiencing this haha
@GastNdorf Жыл бұрын
@@Prawnii I know, I've been fed this all my life, going on my 33s and I never even had an opportunity, and I regret focusing on studying, career and other meaningless stuff and not improving physically or meeting people more, because I've been told repeatedly it would happen when I least expected it...
@MiriadCalibrumAstar Жыл бұрын
Well, the problem is trying to force find a partner, but I think that meeting a lot of new people can help you not only get an idea of what to find but to also raise your % of finding someone desirable.
@KnightsofGaming2016 Жыл бұрын
I have another one to add to this list: being afraid to go beyond being just friends and thinking that there are better options for them out there that isn't ourself.
@gojitte Жыл бұрын
Careful. No one owes anyone a relationship.
@aikotitilai3820 Жыл бұрын
Isn't that basically the second point "You think you don't deserve it ?"
@CelestialExility Жыл бұрын
trust me there are plenty lol
@SikkyTheArmadillo Жыл бұрын
And /Or being scared, that if you confess to them and they reject you they don't want to be friends with you anymore and because you don't want to loose them you think, it's the best if things stay like they are so you can at least be near them. Never experienced anything like this actually, but I read so many stories where this happens
@SharpBalisong Жыл бұрын
@@SikkyTheArmadillo Ya, happened to me. The other person got weird and we haven’t spoken to each other in awhile.
@Cherrycreamsoda1 Жыл бұрын
I can't tell if I'm wrong for caring too much, or if society cares too little. I often find people around me (both platonically and romantically) don't value me as much as I value them and just consider me a 'space filler'. The only ones I can rely on to really care about me are my family. At least I have them, but it still sucks :(
@NationChosenByGod Жыл бұрын
Family is the best thing you have in this world compared to other materialistic in this world. Family first and other second.
@maxrn3923 Жыл бұрын
I feel that
@spicy_cheetoz5058 Жыл бұрын
That hit way too hard 😢
@elis9858 Жыл бұрын
i feel u
@ZeroDarknezz Жыл бұрын
Yup society is full of shit, and it’s not getting any better. People doesn’t care about being nice or having manners anymore. So just do it for yourself and you will be fine.
@ehsanrahee7411 Жыл бұрын
I've never understood the whole "putting yourself out there" concept. Like, what exactly does that entail? Is simply going out enough? What if you don't have the time and/or money to go out to these supposed places that strangers just meet and talk or whatever? What if the only place you have time to go that has other people consistently is the gym, where everyone is focused on themselves and are more likely to get ignored or make others uncomfortable than otherwise anywhere else? What if dating apps also haven't worked despite trying them for years on end? Asking for a friend of course.
@noisybiscuits2476 Жыл бұрын
I'm guessing it's like when you're working and want that promotion. Probably have to self-promote and make yourself more visible in a positive way. But I'm not sure how to do that for love, for jobs, it's easy.
@ehsanrahee7411 Жыл бұрын
@@noisybiscuits2476 I've never had positive experiences with that in a job either tbh. But the explanation makes sense. Just...how do??
@noisybiscuits2476 Жыл бұрын
@@ehsanrahee7411 I'm thinking volunteering, maybe in a retirement home, children's home, museum or maybe animal shelters. Something that'll put you in contact with decent people more frequently. But I'll be honest, it will be exhausting.
@ehsanrahee7411 Жыл бұрын
@@noisybiscuits2476 ya with having a full time job alone, there's barely time or energy for that level of involvement. Especially if one has hobbies that help significantly keep mental health up. All for the tiny CHANCE of meeting someone. And someone compatible at that. It's almost easier to be alone forever lol. But that has its own long term issues.
@frog6054 6 ай бұрын
@@ehsanrahee7411 Maybe we should work hard to be able to have a job that gives us more free time
@DLMF2010 Жыл бұрын
Step 1: love yourself. Step 2: let others feel attracted for your contagious self love. Step 3: get to know people so you can find one you feel attracted to. Don't rush it and don't overthink, remember that love is within yourself and not others. If you are not finding someone, don't worry about it, it actually doesn't matter
@wm9n Жыл бұрын
Thx 💙
@diffdimgamerseven9986 Жыл бұрын
my self confidence is so low i will not get past step 1 anytime soon
@tryagain8303 Жыл бұрын
❤💪
@julian.16 Жыл бұрын
Empty steps
@markuchiha7737 Жыл бұрын
Yeah love isn't a necessity
@basiiart Жыл бұрын
going out is genuinely such a confusing thing… where do u go? how do u start a conversation? who u do start one with? it’s so odd and just… oof 😓
@f4llenleaves Жыл бұрын
I suggest getting to know the person more first before dating. I've been friends with my bf for 8 years (just had our 2nd anniversary this month) and until now we still get these long silences whenever we can't think of a topic. But that's alright, we're perfectly fine with just being present. Also whenever we can't think of a place to go, home date is our default. Not saying you have to wait years for that kind of love tho XD just someone who you feel matches your energy is enough
@stevenrogers2684 3 ай бұрын
@@f4llenleaves That's a blessing and a curse. I tried this. We were friends, good friends for quite a while. Then we decided to try dating and were together a long time. But I think I got lazy on it, and we decided to go back to being friends. The problem now is that I still love them. And this is a problem especially when they start dating other people. Because as you know, when your friend gets into a romantic relationship, they'll spend less time with you now.
@samrobbins7695 Жыл бұрын
As a 19 almost 20 year old whose never been on a date or experienced romance and doesn’t feel like they deserve love, this video helped a lot. Thanks 🙏🏻 ❤
@scottbrockman5883 8 ай бұрын
Same here, but at 38 going on to 39 years old.
@T26OG. 8 ай бұрын
As a 38 year old, there's something you need to know. You're mentally weak for this mindset. I don't care if you try to take this as a personal attack. For any person, the idea that "I don't deserve love" is childish nonsense. Knock it off. Life isn't ever going to hold your hand
@Calvansbagoftricks 8 ай бұрын
35 here. I had my first real relationship at 21. At least it was real to me. Turns out she belonged to the streets.
@certifiedclowninc. 6 ай бұрын
@T26OG. This has nothing to do with what they were saying, he'll they didn't even go into details. They just said they're 19 turning 20 and haven't found love yet. Sounds like u tried to sound trite for no reason
@mohamedaityoussef9965 4 ай бұрын
how r u bro
@pierre0227 Жыл бұрын
My therapist told me to list your compromises and deal breakers in a person. And something I tell myself, it’s not healthy to need a relationship but everyone needs a healthy one. I hope that makes sense.
@judy1879 Жыл бұрын
Love doesn't hurt, the lack of love hurts 💔
@th4fl4sh4 Жыл бұрын
Or the loss of love
@sachinmistry1 Жыл бұрын
Lack of love doesn't hurt, it's just that you don't feel anything. It is something that you might have to accept.
@jtquillen7893 Жыл бұрын
Everything hurts
@gaebolg-yc7cx Жыл бұрын
Love does hurt. I'm liking someone but they all rejected me badly. My 1st crush rejected and said I'm the ugliest guy for her. 2nd one ignored me also gave an hostile or bad aura towards me. 3rd one lied about having boyfriend later on I found she doesn't have. Crushes are all nonsense stop seeking affection it will do nothing you will just hurt yourself just like a little kid crying without a toy. Crushes and love are all about lust for these days all girls seek about looks.
@PKay36 Жыл бұрын
@@gaebolg-yc7cx I have a crush but she doesn't like me either but on valentines day on Feb 14 at school I surprised her because his friend is my friend also and I put a lot of efforts that way I can sit with her every time we eat at school and then when I confessed to her I sang a song and gave her a gift and it was like one day she was coming to my table with my friends and I was too shy to talk to her and approach her and then my friend took her from me then my friend took her from me to my best friend it was like them already have a relationship or not? Idk I'm just stock from not knowing that she like my friend not me
@the_hero_of_the_21st_century Жыл бұрын
Damn, I started crying from the words at the end of the video. I feel like I'm not happy when I'm not in a relationship. Again and again I was told that I should just wait, and not actively search. Because that's how love will find you. And that you should pursue ur life, with ur goals and successes and wishes and dreams. But if you have tried again and again, and always gave ur best, But it failed every time, you encounter rejection every time, you feel like falling in love too quickly and it has always led to pain, how can you believe that? This concerns me far too much right now.
@summer9770 Жыл бұрын
Same here, so I'm going to give up to find someone and will to focus on myself.
@believedragons_ Жыл бұрын
I'm a 29 year old single man, who lost everything in my early 20s and have recently being building myself up. This video has made me realized I am allowing myself to believe I am unable to compete against other male competitors because of societal expectations. I still live at my parents house (not by choice), work part-time job since I go to school, and not 6 feet tall (obviously something I cannot change). That already limits a majority of the dating pool for me. There's been experiences I've been chosen over someone who has a car, their own place, or even just taller than me. It can be frustrating and thus, I am taking time to work on myself. I hope one day I can feel I'm worth enough, even if I'm not at that top "1%" of being the most desirable man.
@amyhoover9 Жыл бұрын
Based on your profile picture, I honestly don't know why people wouldn't want to date you... My current boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years, and found each other through Facebook. Best wishes to you! 😊
@SeudXe Жыл бұрын
@@amyhoover9 Because he isnt tall enough and rich enough.
@Lovesongs8 Жыл бұрын
You dont need to be tall or rich to find love. I am taller and make more money than my boyfriend, and I still love him very much. But your insecurities shines through. You need to love yourself before someone else can love you. Best of luck!
@majedaabbouchi2955 Жыл бұрын
I can relate on soooo many points here. I'm pushing 30 yrs and I'm still stuck in an unhappy situation of not living on my own, having a job that bleeds my soul and aspirations dry at the end of the day and barely a social life. Not to mention the feeling of being less than worthy of being loved when there's so many women out there who have a lot more to offer than I do. But I'm also trying to break free from my rut and be better, although it's infuriatingly hard. You look like a pretty cool and awesome person at least! I wish you (and anyone else who reads this) all the happiness in the world ❤
@TheBubbeloo Жыл бұрын
@@Lovesongs8 You don't need to be, but it sure helps a ton in the process. Then again a woman who is into you only because of your money and height is probably not wife material...
@jennabethmcilwain Жыл бұрын
Ive found that i struggle with approaching the people im interested in because i dont really know how to flirt and act around the opposite gender. Im afraid to make it awkward and embarrass myself when trying to reach out. Ive never dated anyone because if this. Im constantly trying to improve my understanding of love and how to approach it and find it. Thanks so much for these videos!!!
@theinnominatoidk3821 Жыл бұрын
same lmao and I'm 20
@ignacnafta3215 Жыл бұрын
I'm diagnosed with ASPD and falling in love is something I long for but can't seem to experience it and i'm honestly scared that I will never meet a person that I will love due to my problems. This video gave me comfort, appreciate your work and thank you.
@necrokat Жыл бұрын
Omg same
@MisfitRia Жыл бұрын
Same here ): well, I feel like I will never find a partner who loves me unmasked and comfortable…🙃
@ignacnafta3215 Жыл бұрын
@@MisfitRia same
@dirkdiggler4136 Жыл бұрын
Honestly that does suck. The people I tend to like are either in relationships, they ain't interested, or both. The people that want me are people I don't want or lost interest in.
@conorquinlan3266 Жыл бұрын
Same her I'm on the autism spectrum and I find it so hard to fit in with people and be normal I did find a girl I loved her name was makenzie and it was so natural everything just happened and she was my first proper gf and I'm 18 btw this happened just a month ago but I lost her and it was my fault cuz I'm just not normal I don't Evan wanna try again to get with someone cuz ik it'll never last cuz of me
@EllieAuditore47 Жыл бұрын
I dont even get to the "partner" part.. love for everyone else seem a pretty normal thing, but for me it looks like a thing out of this world
@misakulous Жыл бұрын
who needs love when you have food
@Tricky2 Жыл бұрын
fr ur right i love foods so much
@rikitikitavatiki Жыл бұрын
And *that* is part of my problem. For a very long time I went to food to deal with the pain of being alone. I have lost a lot of that weight, almost a hundred pounds, but I can't look myself in the mirror and say I'm attractive. Yet. So now I'm cutting back on the food but I'm still alone. I guess I can't have any comfort at all, can I? I see why many people before me turned to alcohol.😅
@LetsTalkFashion Жыл бұрын
Me casually eating ice cream out of the container
@avamckinney6521 Жыл бұрын
ace mood
@tizioboh9927 4 ай бұрын
genuinely made me laugh😂
@blessedsoul949 Жыл бұрын
Personally,am afraid of being hurt again. It's a year and a quarter down the line since my last heartbreak and am still grieving every single day. Getting attached to a narcissist was the worst thing that ever happened to my life. It lowered my self love,self esteem,self worth.I still question my sanity to date. I also am unable to trust and have kept myself locked up for a while. I just hope that someday I will move on from the hurt and pain and find the ONE!
@Ingram6580 Жыл бұрын
Love just isn't meant for me. I can't find it in family, I definitely can't find it through fake friends, and I can't find it even in God. All throughout my life I've been laughed at, mocked, and belittled from my own family, fake friends, teachers, co workers, etc. One day I met a very special person whose situation mirrored mine in a lot of ways. We pulled each other out of our respected depressions and I later proposed to her. About a little over a year later my fiancee's attitude towards me started to shift and she ended up mocking and belittling me just like nearly everyone else and ultimately cheated on me. I later found out that she cheated on me multiple times before. I've been single for nearly 18 years and if there's one thing I truly regret it is ever opening my heart to someone.
Жыл бұрын
"When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world". Random thought from The Lion King movie, but being hexed by dealing with people that've affected you more on the long run leaves me thinking that.
@r.d.6290 Жыл бұрын
Wait for it. This world will burn. And you can chip in for some kerosene.
@billy9075 Жыл бұрын
I feel like I’m not worthy of being loved because everyone who has entered my life has always left. The single common factor every time was me. I’m just a shitty person. I try not to, but I end up pushing everyone away. I finally met someone who was so sweet to me, and was such an amazing person. It took less than a year for him to leave
@MsUndertaker99 Жыл бұрын
I can't find love because i'm terrible person and i don't deserve it. I clearly understand that and i simply don't want to ruin anyones life
@ultimablackmage Жыл бұрын
Yeah, I'm in my late 30's & I've put myself out there & no one wants me as I'm broke & physically unattractive. You can't get love in our superficial world because all that matters is status. I don't care about looks or status & if you can't get anyone before you turn 40, you have no chance at all!
@teodortodorov1662 Жыл бұрын
Work on your body to be attractive and try to escape being broke
@notrelatedtobacon1282 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, I'm in a similar boat
@Noycey64 Жыл бұрын
Similar to myself, I’m in my late 50’s and have never been in an intimate relationship or had a romantic partner due to a number of factors but mainly my autism. So called experts state to just be yourself but in my past doing that has just got me upsetting people, especially women. I call things as I see it and sometimes I talk first without thinking. However due to my mental issues I’m happy with myself because I’m honest to a fault (which some people don’t like) and I’m not successful at lying, not that I want to. And I’d rather be that then be like many people in this society that lie, cheat and act like a**holes with others.
@ayanabeads1614 Жыл бұрын
There are ugly broke people married everywhere, and elderly people get married every day. You are the one being superficial and that’s why you are alone. It sounds like you don’t really want a relationship, you just want someone who will boost your self-esteem. You need to do that for yourself. People who throw constant pity parties are unattractive regardless of status.
@arsenelupiniii8040 Жыл бұрын
I was torpedoed at 42 by the love of my life after ten years together. Now at almost 49, I put myself back together but will never attach again, not after how abrupt the last ended. I used to be a caring and fun loving fellow, now I just move in silence. Way more money and purpose w/o my girl. I miss her everyday.
@aleafinthewind52 Жыл бұрын
Even as a person who feels little of these emotions naturally, I still end up crying a bit when watching videos like this.
@williamzjordan1850 11 ай бұрын
Bruh u lucky I can’t even cry
@avenger291 Жыл бұрын
I’ve always been a solo-op (a loner) if coworkers are talking, I’m keeping quiet and focusing on work. I’ve also got to deal with my mental state (I’ve got some mental issues) this channel has definitely been a unique find
@kingfoofle Жыл бұрын
I could not emphasize how much I needed this video right now. I lost an opportunity at love with someone I've liked for almost 3 years because I was too scared of ruining the friendship. Now I'm trying to move on, and this video helps a ton :)
@dericmederos1514 Жыл бұрын
One that a lot of people keep doing and have to stop is this: not being up front about what you want. If you're looking for more than just friendship, you need to give hints like "Wow I think you look real pretty today." I used to surprise girls when i asked them out because they never thought i liked them because I never went beyond platonic talks.
@petkofuchalski9809 Жыл бұрын
i fully agree. You either "shoot your shot" in the beginnig of your relationship with your potencial partner, or you get "friendzoned" and risk ruining not only your romantic, but also your platomic relationship with that person.
@FlameJackstar Жыл бұрын
I'm male, 33 years old, and haven't been in a relationship for 10 years. At this point, I have given up hope to find someone available. I'm a very average dude, it seems I have no qualities (anymore) that stick out to people as attractive or desirable. "Putting yourself out there" results in absolutely nothing because of that. Besides that, it feels like 80% of people around my age are simply taken. Most have families, houses, children... This train has departed and I was too late to the station.
@thevideochannel6499 Жыл бұрын
Bruh I'm 30 years old never been laid my whole life so I'm used to it.
@MaskedBishop Жыл бұрын
I'm almost 37 and have never been in a relationship, and yes.. it's good if it happens, but it's so unlikely to fall in love with someone who loves you back, that there's no point in planning having a partner imo. 🙈
@elpadrinomagico 3 ай бұрын
Yep, almost 35 here and I dated some young women the last 2 or 3 years but always failed… I’m done with dating at this point
@AnotherCamilo Жыл бұрын
If i start to seeking for love i will not find it because i'll look desperate If i don't look for it i wouldn't find it either because i'll be so clueless that i'll miss all the signals.
@outwithjohn7038 Жыл бұрын
Man, I needed to watch this video. The last time I was in love was in 2021, but man. That shit is on a whole different level. It gets even tiring when you try to find someone. It's got to the point that I'd love myself and enjoy life rather than find someone else.
@flamegamer3424 Жыл бұрын
I can relate to all of these signs. I tried so many times to have a relationship, but I always get cut off. There were times where I did fall for the wrong person. Now I feel like I’m afraid of having a crush on someone, but I can overcome that fear. It’ll all take time.
@bekzera9452 Жыл бұрын
There is no such thing out there for me. And I feel more relieved now that I accepted that. I'm learning to be a loner now, even though I already was for a long time. Not everyone is or will be happy in life. And I understand, at least the ones I love found their loved ones.
@intowhateverworld6136 Жыл бұрын
Love is very hard to find, dating apps especially for me don’t help. It’s lowered my self-esteem and every time I delete it I get hopeful that maybe this time will work. I think I’m just self destructive in that regard and I need to control myself better but I can’t help but feel maybe I’m just missing the person. EVEN WHEN I DO GET A MATCH IM HORRIFIED TO EVEN DATE. I’ve been through rough times and honestly I do sometimes think I’m not worthy of love or happiness. I’ve cried a lot because of how unloved I feel; I miss everything in a relationship. I do go to the gym but it only temporarily fills the hole left from my ex.
@Ninjudo Жыл бұрын
I've only dated 2 people so far, but after both times being terrible experience (Especially the first one), I've been feeling really low and this video came out at the perfect time to help me. Thanks a lot
@firtp5209 Жыл бұрын
"Only 2" ? That a lot bro (at least compared to other people that I'm definitly not a part of...)
@conceptdrive9733 Жыл бұрын
Bruh didn't have a single one in my LIFE
@MaskedBishop Жыл бұрын
I've had a single date about 15 years ago. 😅
@Bumbl3_B3e Жыл бұрын
Can’t find love, and I’m ok w/ that ima take time 4 me myself and I :) keep up the good work
@ZancoIntel Жыл бұрын
You may have passed by your love several times.
@Bumbl3_B3e Жыл бұрын
Wut ;-;
@Bumbl3_B3e Жыл бұрын
Maybe
@DededeHero Жыл бұрын
@@ZancoIntel This is what I'm terrified of.
@erickrapa7939 Жыл бұрын
I'm afraid of getting hurt, and I think I don't deserve love, fits my category ...
@thefreechains Жыл бұрын
I ran away from love for about three years. Just constantly working on my own life and not even allowing myself to feel that feeling again. That’s why I didn’t put myself out there or try to pursue someone I liked. I just kept thinking “don’t bother with that.” Or “Itll just go wrong again.” But now…I feel like I’ve gained EVERYTHING except love. And right now? That’s all I want.
@MyLifewithGuitar Жыл бұрын
As soon as I saw this title I thought about all the sacrifices, obligations and demands cumulating on one in what is an already demanding world, especially whilst we are all fighting to heal from the pandemic, hopefully. Love would be a nice but unrealistic privilege.
@balsamon69 Жыл бұрын
I've been watching your content for almost 3 years at this point and this is the first time in this type of video where i could relate to every single sign. It's a bit of a depressing thought, but now i know for sure what to work on. So thanks for your help. Much appreciated
@andresmorales9773 Жыл бұрын
2, 3, and 4 just hit me like a truck sending a person to another world.
@iikpsyt4619 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for the reminder that everyone is loved. Sometimes we forget of the people who love us most while in search for soulmate.
@mariyatakeuchi9009 Жыл бұрын
its because im physically not cut out for it. it is not in my cards to find love, some people are destined to have long and happy lives living thier dream and some arent. it is what it is I’ve consistently been turned down and replaced and rejected by so many people and yk what? whatever. it’s not a problem. If you aren’t interested you aren’t interested fair enough. But why are some of these people in my life keep leading me on? First their was this guy I matched with: Why would you only tell me you aren’t interested in me anymore an hour before you and I are meant to go on a date? Another one: Why would you spend years (and I mean literally YEARS) telling me you liked me and all of this promising and hinting to come over to where I live or me coming to see you finally just for you to suddenly start dating someone else and bragging about how amazing they for face timing you or wanting to msg you because they were thinking about you when I did all of those exact same thing. Also another situation? How come it always ends with me getting ignored because I asked you about your fucking day? Am I that hideous? Am I that fucking insufferable to talk to? Finally another person: im not some fucking whore you can use because you’re bored only to just replace me with someone else and rub it in my face every fucking opportunity you get You never gave me this type of care and attention. All of these people NEVER find anyone who treats them as good as I would and all they have done is just throw it back in my face. I’m sick of being manipulated and led on by everyone. Worst about this: if I ever told anyone of these people how I felt about this I’d would end up with them saying I’m overreacting and I’d lose them forever and that’s worse.
@dewapratama4266 Жыл бұрын
Wow i think you really need to go to theraphy and consult about this, it may help with your problems
@itswhoohhim Жыл бұрын
I hope everything gets better for you :)
@jrod1382 Жыл бұрын
On this I can relate.
@riniedarryllan1846 Жыл бұрын
you should focusing more about yourself and have some boundaries
@notrelatedtobacon1282 Жыл бұрын
1st one is just a thing that happens and it sucks when people do that The 2nd honestly sounds like you friend zoned him and he finally decided to move on and thought you never intended to be anything more then friends
@sachinmistry1 Жыл бұрын
I'm 41 years old and I feel like that I may not find love. I've been trying to take care of my appearance and seek meetups where I can meet people. I get a sense that a lot of women think I'm interesting, but they don't find me attractive. It's a constant battle. I'm in a new city, and I'm still trying to make new friends and find my community. Growing up, I would say that I have an avoidant attachment style. My parents were busy doctors and didn't give me a lot of attention growing up. I didn't see a lot of affection between them. I've been going to therapy for the past 6-8 years now. I learned that my parents are narcissists, and I'm trying to be less critical of myself and learning to self-love. Theres still a lot of work that needs to be done...
@jrod1382 Жыл бұрын
When I was a child (age 6) I was attached to this girl who was in my age bracket and my friend and we would be together all the time, but when it came the time for her to go home without me knowing I was devastated.I had felt that I was going to lose her for good and I did and that stuck with me for years and was like that with nearly every female until finally I decided many years ago to let go of my insecurities, doubts and many more things that made me believe that I was the problem and so from that experience and learn to find love in different ways..Feel good to let go of negative things..Feels damn good.
@GaryGeat28 Жыл бұрын
I've often been guilty of #2 and #4. Even though my last breakup occurred 16 years ago, it was destructive enough for me to lose hope in finding love again. I try to put myself out there, but I don't seem to have any luck. I've tried talking to people, but I've realized that I'm the problem.
@alexlovehall7796 Жыл бұрын
After my recent breakup and some other things I’ve been goin through a lot of different things from no success. I’ve been guilty of all these. However the last few years I’ve taken steps to heal and work on my attachments and worthiness. Every day is a new challenge and I do regress some times, tho this video definitely helps me see that it’s not just me and I can continue to do better
@mushrifahmed8107 Жыл бұрын
Great video as usual. I would just like to add an asterisk on the putting yourself out there part. I've personally experienced (and seen a few others) if one is in a broken/vulnerable state and are actively looking for love usually they end up falling for the wrong people. So I think it's imperative to fix oneself (as best as one can) before looking for love.
@Lavendeer201 Жыл бұрын
Holy cow this actually made me self reflect! Thank you sooo much for this! I've been looking as to why I attach to people so easily and I need to write some stuff down and meditate on this, especially the first step. Thank you Psych2Go... your videos have supported me (and in turn, clients) so much over the years and helped keep me afloat and learning❤😊
@michaelcallander7085 Жыл бұрын
I think I've been a mixture of 2 and 3, but I'm working to turn things around and my confidence is increasing.
@Bobaganusche72 Жыл бұрын
I like how every suggestion is to reach out to a professional. Bro, I'm sad, alone, and broke. I can't afford to spend $50/hr to have someone tell me to just work on myself.
@MustafaKulle Жыл бұрын
I find it really upsetting for someone to think they don't deserve love. I strongly believe that everyone deserves love. The lack of it is what hurts people most. If you are reading this, I hope you are loved. Aphrodite is the Goddess of Love, she loves you. Love from Cyprus, 🇨🇾❤
@loreleipenn Жыл бұрын
Falling in love is a terrible, disgusting, and horrible feeling.
@scarlet12234 Жыл бұрын
I would slightly disagree with the assertion that you won't find love if you stop looking for it. In my case, searching desperately for love was what kept landing me in bad situations with unavailable people. When I stopped the search and just let life happen, when I felt like I didn't need to find love to be happy and determined that I would feel happy and fulfilled regardless, that's when I found my person.
@Droi Жыл бұрын
its a lie)
@lightspeed-mecharena5929 Жыл бұрын
@@Droitrue, you gotta put in the effort for an outcome. You only get what you put in
@Mark3nd Жыл бұрын
But then again, it's entertaining to make those memories anyway. Besides, i stopped trying since those signs of girls becoming unfriendly. Hell, you can't even be friends with a girl at all. They will block or ignore you. Thats just it, thats why i dont ask for numbers unless I happen to feel good vibes
@scarlet12234 Жыл бұрын
@@lightspeed-mecharena5929 well I'm not saying people should give up. Just that they shouldn't be so attached to the outcome that they desperately chase after it and feel like they will never be happy unless they get it. Be open to experiences, of course.
@naruhina908 Жыл бұрын
Nah, you just eventually got lucky.
@futurelegacyproductions1298 Жыл бұрын
I'm just going to put love in the same category as emotions. Literally the most risky and confusing thing I have ever thought about, I'm here for it though so ya.
@crow3370 Жыл бұрын
After being single for 13 years and meeting with the wrong people I finally found a great person
@Noonascrollsthings. Жыл бұрын
I love how calming her voice is!!
@GB-et4kk 5 ай бұрын
Ive been looking for a video on this topic for a while now, thank you dearly. ☺
@danielwebber7517 Жыл бұрын
I'll definitely use this advice to help me out as I look for someone. Also, I love the music used in this video!
@bearingoxd5105 Жыл бұрын
I had every problem 2 years ago, now I tried everything this video said I should do and still didn't succeed.I truly gave up on love.
@sharingheart13 Жыл бұрын
This video gives me hope that I'm moving in the right direction. Out of the last 3 people I've felt interested in dating, only 1 follows the same trend of everyone else that I've dated. I didn't start a relationship with any of those 3 for one reason or another, but it at least does show that I'm learning and choosing better. Even if it didn't end up with me in a loving relationship, progress is progress.
@davidwhite2671 Жыл бұрын
After watching this video, I most definitely relate to all of it’s contents. Especially, while I presently have not found love myself (not yet, at least), with the one special woman, I *do* have a lot of personal issues I need to work on. Most of which, involves - my self esteem, lack of confidence, my faith, my trust, my beliefs and my hope.
@faliandra7659 Жыл бұрын
I don't fall for unavailable people, I fall for narcissists. I am an INFJ and theres even stereotypes about how we are narcissist magnets. How about making a video of how empaths can avoid narcissists?
@musicvibes70489 Жыл бұрын
Same
@koylejeune4332 Жыл бұрын
Learning to set boundaries for yourself and others is absolutely crucial for this.
@orton4357 Жыл бұрын
MBTI is pseudoscience, get over it
@izzylandyt Жыл бұрын
I wouldn’t say us being a narcissist magnet is a stereotype. It’s a fact that we desperately deny. I mean the last person we ever want in our life is another energy vampire or abuser. Plus our society basically encourages and neglects such toxicity. Finding someone that’s an exception and genuine is very slim.
@izzylandyt Жыл бұрын
@@koylejeune4332no point in establishing boundaries if they’re constantly being disrespected by others.
@Spookiester Жыл бұрын
I am probably going to be dead alone at a early age with stress. People cared about a lot of times took me for a fool and life been downhill not due to that but it compounded. I am 27 alone and jobless struggling to find work after last year losing job. Think might be numb to caring about love since I know I will die alone.
@DummieDumbNoa 5 ай бұрын
I don't know if many people have this same issue, but the main reason why I'm single (despite having trust issues) is that I just don't know how to put myself out there, how to socialize. I'm 17, finished high school around a week ago and now I don't see most people that shared the same class with me, my best friend is the only person that I still talk to. I know that I'm young, but it's just so overwhelming, I just left a relationship 8 months ago and that somehow made me lose the ability to socialize and connect with people
@Catkoalarules 5 ай бұрын
I’m having the same issue
@NessWithABeard Жыл бұрын
How do you manage to understand me so well like this? It's amazing.
@DKeySinon Жыл бұрын
Another big problem in our current society when it comes to dating is the fact that we have this seemingly endless selection of people. Because of that, many people are just like "well, he/she/+ doesn't look like this, doesn't have the job like that, okay nah, I will find someone better." And that is extremely unhealthy for everyone. Your personality in combination with decent looks are not enough. You need the right height, weight, hair color, eye color etc. So that you maybe have a chance. You can even wear the wrong shoes, and you are instantly out. So damn extreme is this problem. And I really mean it like that, It's not just a few people who are like this. It's a big amount of young people between the age of 18 and 30 who are so damn fixated on finding the perfect movie partner, its just insane. And I know that it sounds like it's just a "dating apps" problem, but trust me, it's not. Even just going out in bars or talking with strangers on the street is not really possible in that matter. Looks > Personality And that will always go downhill from here.
@izzylandyt Жыл бұрын
Big facts 💯
@Cymru1987 Жыл бұрын
Mainly, and mostly, women are like this. Super materialistic. Men? Most of us just want to come home to a pretty (healthy) looking wife, and a hot meal. Our lives are set. Women? LOL. Their list puts CVS receipts to shame
@Esiaa Жыл бұрын
I'm definitely guilty of all those points, especially the second one. But I would add another - afraid to get out of my comfort zone. Relationships can be chaotic and I'm scared of it.
@samelis6546 Жыл бұрын
#3 for me. I'm an avoidant and is very comfortable with it. I keep thinking I want it, love, family, children, but I know I don't feel for it.
@virat221 Жыл бұрын
i enjoy your voice so soothing somehow
@hannjojo Жыл бұрын
I can relate to this. I'm getting 23 and have all these problems. I also never had someone to cuddle. My first kiss a few years ago I got because I was needy and not in love with the person. Bad experience for me that also stop me from working on me
@AspieVert Жыл бұрын
Dude I'm the same like you. I'm going to be 23 this year too and have no experience of love and i tried everything. And sometimes i think whats the point?
@neofulcrum5013 Жыл бұрын
25. Still single.
@jakobrosenberg4759 Жыл бұрын
Same here😅
@bleujae68000 Жыл бұрын
Well, there's a secret 6th (or whatever number you want) option. You're a Cuprioromantic, aka someone who desires a romantic relationship but feels little to no romantic attraction. While it's not impossible to find a partner to have a deeper connection with, I just don't think it would be fair for me to jump into something. I think it might explain why I sorta subconscious shut down the possibility being romantically involved with all the two people who've had any interest as sad as that might seem. That being said I still love the idea of romance, and I wanna support all the wonderful healthy couples out there even if it's something I can't really experience being someone who's Aro.
@thatkoolkid478 4 ай бұрын
This is probably the greatest video I’ve ever watched
@danielfey1990 Жыл бұрын
I can relate to this. I am still healing after a toxic break-up.
@ceadeus5844 Жыл бұрын
I just wanted to say thank you, your videos helped me alot through some bad days, my girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago and it left me broke mentally, but your videos made me have hope of believing in love again and made me seek professional help which is helping me a lot :D
@LBJ_The_Fallen_Sungod Жыл бұрын
u can do it king 👑
@jamie-bn5kj Жыл бұрын
heyy just wanna say same, my ex boyfriend broke up with me three months ago as well it left me feeling pretty unloveable. But we've got this, with time we can find love again!
@funnytv-1631 Жыл бұрын
Now that you have taken up residence here in the world, carve out time for yourself. Anchor a new habit that validates what solitude can give you. It can be as little as a minute a day. Catch your reflection and don’t look away. Notice how you’re feeling. Give yourself a few minutes of self-care, where you sit down and soothe dry skin or think quietly while you fold clothes. Spend time outside without your phone. Is the sky empty of clouds today? Notice which plants are bursting and which are waiting to bloom. Tune out everything else and tune into yourself.
@BrandonGHEwing Жыл бұрын
Preach corporation preach this is what the world needed let me tell you you said the things no one was brave enough to say this is beautiful
@kyleslavik6324 Жыл бұрын
You make a good point some relationships aren't authentic or genuine.
@ranusmagnus656 Жыл бұрын
Easy said. But after a few decades without even a date, hope runs low. Very low.😐
@anagha29 Жыл бұрын
I really liked that Lofi girl animation !! It's cute ❤
@Ayacchi Жыл бұрын
Awww thank you so much!! 💖💖💖
@raychie4783 Жыл бұрын
Love is earned, that's what I've learned for sure. There's no way people deserve love if they willingly choose to stay out of it.
@tryagain8303 Жыл бұрын
"You think you dont deserve it " Yeaaass thiss!🙂
@Austin_Dale Жыл бұрын
Could you do a video on putting yourself out there? My family always tells me that I’ve got to “put myself out there”, but I don’t understand what that means.
@Halloween111 4 ай бұрын
And when you ask "Ok, How and where?" The inevitable "Well....I don't know!" comes back, almost as an accusation.
@HarmonyMoonbeam024 Жыл бұрын
I’ve never been in a relationship before bc imo, I’m still too young, but I don’t even develop crushes on real people anymore. It’s all fictional crushes, and this video sorta helped me understand why. Thank you❤️
@SarahEve97 Жыл бұрын
wow,marvelous! who is that lucky fictional guy?
@zennyzenzen1724 Жыл бұрын
ME TOO😭
@HarmonyMoonbeam024 Жыл бұрын
@@SarahEve97 6 of em' actually. 4 of them are from my favorite MC roleplay, the other two are from one I'm still a bit too young to watch (The KZfaqr that these characters are from is Aphmau. I'm also kinda embarrassed to say who they are)
@SarahEve97 Жыл бұрын
@@HarmonyMoonbeam024 okay seriously,you're pathetic girl.
@f4llenleaves Жыл бұрын
We all have that phase xD spent my entire high school daydreaming about fictional characters. I'm currently in a relationship with one of my closest friends tho. But don't let that stop you from enjoying what you currently like (as long as it's healthy)
@Alfames5463 Жыл бұрын
Watching in the pitch darkness at midnight. Hit different❤
@centipedenoarrows Жыл бұрын
It's been a while since I last commented. Thanks for making this video. I feel kinda validated. ❤️
@felynecomrade Жыл бұрын
Anyone else love these videos just because of her voice?
@synx7874 3 ай бұрын
No. She s probably the most annoying to listen to. She talks way too quietly , and her S is so sharp its literally scratching my e Ears. When its her i just turn off sound and enable subtitles. Very good content
@kevinsconcealment870 Жыл бұрын
Do a video on the Simp vs Bad Boy effect, how women (and sometimes men) only want approval and attention from the person they can't get it from.
@JenArtzYT Жыл бұрын
Thanks for this video
@ruthfernandez8911 Жыл бұрын
Why is this so relatable...
@hope2071 Жыл бұрын
so much truthful healing ❤❤❤ it is what it is my heart looking for ❤❤
@Psych2go Жыл бұрын
We're glad this helped :) How many of these points did you resonate with?
@charrr_callisto Жыл бұрын
I have not watch the video yet but I know it will be good!
@nitzanshu4695 Жыл бұрын
So much videos! Thanks psych2go!
@authormaryanngestwicki Жыл бұрын
I can totally relate. I'm still looking and waiting.
@djcranejr.3045 Жыл бұрын
Like I told my mom, I don't think I will find love cuz of my personality. I obviously deserve love, but I just don't think I'll ever find it in the future.
@yigit1898 Жыл бұрын
I live 25 years on this world and still haven't found true love.
@judymar5666 11 ай бұрын
Same here... I'm 28😔.. My main problem was I got no self confidence, I always think I'm not good looking despite many ppl say I got the looks... It is bcz I once suffering from worst acne that leaves scars around my face that makes me insecure of my self😢
@ganrimmonim Жыл бұрын
Wow, four out of five! That's an impressive score, Adam.
@revixhero1466 Жыл бұрын
Ur more informative then my therapist lol, I appreciate every video you make more then I can express thank you soooooo sooo much for doing everything you do, you hav helped me sooooo sooo much thank you I appreciate you and think you are so beyond spectacularly beautiful… God bless
Marusya Outdoors
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