As a person who ended up with BPD as a result of an extremely abusive narcissist mother, I urge you to remember our hurtful actions stem from our own pain. I'm in therapy now and I can't believe how quickly I'm transforming. We are people too, we have feelings, we love deeply, and we can change. Thanks.

Also, I'm what's called a "quiet" borderline. I don't yell or scream at people. I'm very very nonconfrontational. I feel shame about my emotions and don't display them because I don't want to be vulnerable. I self loathe as a result and take it out on myself.

Being codependent is a tragedy as well. Loving and seeking to be hurt, being addicted to it, and confusing love with pain can't be more tragic.

His eyes and his voice seem like he has been cutting onions for days.

Damn, the truth hurts! BPD male here who agrees with you completely. I've been in social isolation working from home for 2 years now. I CANNOT, & WILL NOT put any more innocent people through the emotional roller coaster of emotions I experience. It's incredibly unfair and immoral in my subjective opinion. There are some of us who are working very hard to get better, but what you've shared is true. My sincere apologies for our irrational, childish, and primitive behavior. Thank you for this. Take care, stay safe.

My ex had this. He devalued me and broke up with me and didn’t give me any answers or closure and I was left spiraling. This video described everything, literally quoting things he’s said and done- moving too fast, blaming me, having “Black and white thinking” and I’m really grateful because this is giving me the closure to know what was wrong so I can move on. Thank you!!

Knew a girl with bpd for 4 years, got pretty serious for 9 months, then over the course of 2 days fell in love. She had a breakdown saying she was broken and didn't wanna hurt me, and just like that it was over. We moved fast and I've never felt so loved or been so in love. He's right, and my heart breaks for her every single day even in her silence. She was a great person, class act. I hope she finds her way someday.

Was in a relationship with a bpd/bipolar for 2 yrs . ( Didn't know this tho. ).the first 6 months were pretty good .but there were a slot of RED FLAGS !!! then one day We had a disagreements about something .OMG!! There is no talking to these ppl.It wAs his way or the highway!! Just when you take the highway they tested you like nothing ever happened.you love them & feel sorry them and go back .and it all starts over again The Emotional Rollercoaster ride never comes to a stop . it may slow down a little but it NEVER STOPS !!!.ALL YOU CAN DO IS JUMP OFF ! AND START HEALING ....

Why do BPD's avoid psychoterapy? Maybe because no one thinks it's an illness. family friends and loved ones say we are sensitive, dramatic, crazy, strange, hard to live with. Maybe because psychologists speak about us as a "half person". Maybe because they say it's impossible to heal.

So if I choose to pursue a relationship with someone who has borderline, I'm a codependent person? I'm suffering and empty? I'm half a person? ... Not true, actually... I am a fully independent person and do not need my partner (who happens to have borderline) to feel good about myself. I do not experience what this man is describing. I am with my partner because of who they are, and my relationship with them is healthy. I'm sure a codependent relationship could occur between certain people, but please don't take this man's words as overall fact. If you have borderline and have a partner, your relationship is not necessarily toxic. You are are also worthy and able of finding healthy love in your partnerships. Also, you are not "a borderline." You "have borderline." You are more than your disorder.

"When they find someone who loves them, and they also love, they find themselves in that fantasy world they created where they are loved and worthy" what a punch in my face it was indeed a fantasy world I was creating. thanks doctor

I love these people. I see them for the children they were and not the troubled adult they became. It is a human tragedy BPD.

Good therapy isn't always available for borderlines.

I didn't take offense to the "underdeveloped person" comment. That's exactly how it feels to me.

So true. Being codependent, relationships with BPD/Covert narcissists are addicting and destructive. Being subject to bread crumbing, gaslighting, inconsistent reinforcement, and ghosting is hell on earth.

I have this disorder. And I have been in therapy for 6 years and single. And I have been working on myself so I can have a proper relationship. But your videos make it sound like its hopeless. Like i'll never get better. This doesn't sound like there is hope for people like me.

Not all borderlines are malignant narcissists with zero self awareness and no desire to get well. (But I guess his ex was.)

Ive tried to get help for my wife, therapy, counseling, etc. But. All I have gotten is RAGE. So, I am going to get counseling for myself and move away from this very toxixlc wife. Please pray for me. Thanks

My BPD wife of 27 years left in a year ago July. This is what it was like for me. Her love was the promised land and I was eager to prove my devotion. Together we wandering in the desert for many years, looking for the lush green forest at the edge of a lake, where surrounded by snow-capped mountains she could find peace and purpose. I brought plenty of food and water which never seemed to quench her thirst or satisfy a hunger she could not describe. Occasionally we came upon an oasis where I was content and happy. In time the spring would go dry and once again we would resume the search. I am now very tired, our water supply a burden I no longer wish to carry. I tap into the last reserves of inner strength to stumble onward in this barren landscape, gripped by a fear of what is beyond the next, ever shifting sand dune. The blazing sun is high over-head, so I'm no longer certain of our direction, but once again, there on the horizon a patch of green. Her enchanting song once again draws me to Bristol Cove on the lake in the mountains. We lay down together in the cool green grass, but I soon realize, once again it's an illusion. Like a mirage, in a blink of an eye, it all vanishes and this time she too is gone. I realize I've lost the faith, I must give up the quest and turn back, no longer sure of the way home. The sun has set and in the darkness I cannot resist the urge to look back over my shoulder with ever step. It has become second nature to worried about her, I will always feel her pain and hunger, her loneliness in the void. I am overwhelmed with an alien concept and try to accept I no longer have the power to save her, even worse, I realize I never did. At the same time I try to erase the image that she may have found the forest without me and is swimming in the cool clear water. I think "how weak of me to have given up" and in the knowledge that I will never see her again what am I to do with all the love I still have for her. It pours out onto the dry sand and evaporates without purpose. The witness of my existence now gone, my heart is tormented by waves of sorrow, like the breakers of some ancient sea crashing on a rocky shore. The primeval granite is reduced to particles of sand, now long forgotten, so too will our story be relegated to a footnote, then fade on the parchment of time with each passing generation. I pry upon the wind, hoping to hear her sweet voice one last time, the words of the promised land as she whispers, "I now know he truly love me". I imagine her weeping with the thought "how could I not have known all those years, we should have found paradise together". It was a leap of faith she was unable to take, inflected with an invisible wound, suffered alone in her cradle so many years ago, long before her happiness become the purpose of my life. When she or I, the last of what was once “us” departs this terrestrial existence, no one will say “they were in love and are together again”.

Everything is spot on. Dated someone with this disorder for 7 months and it was the most damaging thing to my health in such a short amount of time. I still have ptsd from that time and the things I dealt with.

The strong idealization followed by rapid devaluation totally messes with the non-bpd's head. Mine devalued me almost over night after I got upset with her over something and then also showed some weakness. It put in her head that I was not perfectly strong/masculine and that it was possible for there to be problems between us and for me to perhaps leave her at some point. What happened over the next few months was brutal. We went from love birds to me being afraid to hold her hand in such a short window. Thank goodness I left. This is such a brutal disorder the way the extreme need for attachment manifests insures that attachment will be difficult to maintain.

Just a tip: If you're going to watch this, please also watch "embracing borderline personality disorder" by Dr Keith Gaynor. And, if you're like me and have BPD, please don't watch this. It will make you feel awful, honestly. We're human, don't forget that. Please don't assume we're all like this man describes.

I was fooled so well I moved across the country to be with a woman that I now know has BPD. It completely ruined 5 years of my life and was totally draining and I didn't even know how bad it was until she was gone. I was so taken by this girl I gave her way to many chances, but I moved to be with her so I was stuck. I wish I had known there are so many people like this, I can't believe it took 5 years to figure it out.

to anyone I’ve ever hurt emotionally, physically, and psychologically, I am so deeply sorry. Living with BPD is a nightmare filled with constant changes in emotion, and luckily through years of therapy and different medications, I’ve become a lot more self aware of my thoughts/actions/behaviors. However, I haven’t been able to control them so I always try my best to avoid any situations when my emotions are wack and I know I could hurt someone. I no longer get physical with others, but I can be very manipulative and hurt people without even knowing I hurt them. It’s a constant struggle between wanting to be a fucking decent human being and not caring who or what you hurt as long as those emotions of yours are fed. I feel so selfish or like I’m some sort of demon with BPD. I decided to cut almost all of my friends off bc I don’t want them having to deal with my emotional wrath-it’s terrible and they should not be subjected to that. But I just want others to know that some of us are trying. We want to help others, we want to be happy and in control, and we don’t want to actually hurt you. I’m deeply sorry if you or a loved one has been affected by this type of behavior. You don’t deserve it. Me (including others with this) need help, and if we don’t recognize that, we can become hell on earth. We need to admit that we are a lot more manipulative, abusive, and emotional than others, and while that is NOT ok, I want to stress that we also did not chose this either. Whether it was your childhood/traumatic experience that caused this good to bad switch, we genuinely have so much trouble controlling this, but the few of us who are aware of it really do try. I just wanna send my apologies again to the people who have experienced us in a sense. We just wanna be as normal as everyone else, and I’m so sorry that your loved ones with bpd dont recognize this extremely major issue.

I am 33 and was Diagnosed with Bpd at 16. I agree with everything you said. I Also have wrecked havoc and destruction in the path of those who have tried to love me. Do i purposely sit out to hurt them? No but does it still happen? yes. I HAVE spent years and years in therapy. I work so hard to change. And thing is... I can go months and years where all is controlled. Then something happens and my own symptoms come back. And I have to fight like hell to repair and heal myself all over again.

This guy nailed it! I wish I knew about this when I dated my ex who I now believe to have suffered from some form of BD. Whenever Id ask what she suffered from (obviously something) she would get mad and walk away. Finally one day I asked listen, I am here to help, whats wrong. All she said was "I wasn't loved as a child and was abandoned as a child" then walked away angry. My relationship started exactly how you described. Lots of sex in the beginning which blinded me. It was like a fantasy her treating me like a king and always there for me. Well later on down the road she changed and the real her came out. No matter how guilty she was of something, she always had an excuse. She lied a lot but would always try and use excuses as to why she lied rather than owning up to it. When she didn't get her way, she would lash out and get mad. Kinda like a child who couldn't get the toy he wanted. She cried more than anyone I ever met. Our relationship became a game. She wouldn't keep her word, so I would do something cold hearted cause I got tired of dealing with it. Then of course she would put the blame on me. I broke up with her due to her lying all the time (whole other story) I then forgave her, but she had already decided to move back to her moms many states away. She wanted me to move in later on. Of course right before she left she didn't keep her word for something silly so I decided not to say my final goodbye as a result. She left and was mad at me for that reason. Lets just say I did love that women with all my heart. I tried so hard to make it work. She never called me when she got home. Said she was scared to. I lashed out at her and got angry cause she promised me she would. So weeks have gone by and she hasn't called or texted. Im sure she moved on as her friends say thats what she does. She jumps directly into another relationship without giving herself time to heal and work on herself. When things were good between us it was the most amazing feeling in the world. I have and will always love her. Just wish I would have known about this condition as I loved her so much I would have tried to get her some help. She even admitted one day she needed help and maybe medication.

Even though they initially love Bomb you in what they perceive as love and affection. It quickly deteriorates into push pull, go away, come back. Love Bomb, go away, Hoover, Love Bomb, Go away!! Maddening!! You never get the same attention, you are putting out, because they are unable to reciprocate in like manner. SADDENING!!

I am now going psychotherapy myself because of i dated bipolar person who had lots of BPD traits in her. Mostly because of the Idelization-Devalue-Discard cycle that has been going on for months. Good and informative video!

wow, the terms used in this video are not respectful or healthy, "not normal, incomplete, half human"How can we expect Stigma to stop when "health professionals" use such terms to describe us?Be mindful good sir

BPD can also be a symptom of CPTSD which requires different treatment approaches, so anyone thinking they have BPD should also research CPTSD also for reference, helped me big time. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us 🌍❤🙏🏼

I suspect I have BPD but no official diagnosis, and I generally found this video very good. I fell in love with someone who I suspect also has BPD, and it was indeed explosive. But I will comment on two things: 1) Around 9:00 you mentioned that someone with BPD with respond with rage if someone suggests they get therapy. From my experience, three different people told me to get therapy in loving ways, and in the moment I definitely felt rejected and defective, but my rage was focused inwards. I was able to simultaneously hear their genuine concern and am eternally grateful to them for caring enough to be honest with me. When I finally started therapy, I was very sporadic in the first few months until my therapist said "this will not help you if you do not commit to it." I started tearing up and told her it is so frustrating because I feel so broken and alone, but when I try to get help, even my therapist says I am not dedicated enough. It was a necessary wake up call though, and I have made good progress. 2) The other thing is that it is not very kind to refer to someone with a weak sense of self as an incomplete person. I am a complete person, just sometimes I am not aware of it and am not able to love my whole self. Underdeveloped? Certainly. But half an individual? No. In many ways I know myself better than people without mental health issues because I have wrestled with my identity so much.

As a person who ended up with BDP, I just wanted to say that i have an amazing family, and beautiful childhood.

I tend to disagree strongly with how you describe the "main problem". I did experience the rushed beginnings (which was indeed difficult), but what you are talking about is nothing compared to the difficulties of a long-term relationship. I've been in a relationship with a girl who is diagnosed with BPD for about 2 years, and I find that the main problem is avoiding to conform with the disorder (or, what is often referred to as walking on eggshells), rather than staying true to ones boundaries and standing your ground when faced with the difficulties a BPD might present to with - some of the most horrible being gas-lighting, psychological violence in the form of threats, and vengeful or hurtful acts on grounds that aren't at all proportional to the reaction (all comes with complete denial, if confronted). These things are hard to live with, and they are among the most prominent symptoms that eat the partner up from the inside. If anyone wants my advice, you should be sure that the individual you are about to engage in a relationship with is aware of his or her disorder, and if you think yourself strong enough ask that he or she undergo treatment as a condition before stepping into the relationship. I know this will sound silly, but establish a ground rules that benefits both of you, and do so before anything bad happens. Ask the BPD sufferer to tell of the difficulties he or she has experienced before, and talk about why that is and how you can be a part of avoiding or helping him or her out of it - but, I must stress that you should be very clear that you are NOT responsible for the outcome, only that you do your utmost best at all times, nothing more and nothing less. If things go bad, talk about it. If the dialog dies, the relationship is likely to do so too. Important things to keep in mind are that BDP sufferers express an unrelenting pain within themselves, and what they say and do, when experiencing this pain, is not to be taken literally, as you might otherwise. If you can, disregard it, or translate "I fucking hate you! I wish I never met you! I should have known better! You did this to me! Why do you hate me so much! How could you!" to "I need you badly right now, it hurts so bad, please stay and comfort me until it passes". Do not argue with such utterances, it will only fuel the fire. If you can, comfort the individual as best you can. This is hard, but try to invert what he or she is saying, if it's not about a dispute between you (i.e. "I'm a bad mother!", "You're a great mother") - avoid using negatives (i.e. "No, you're a great mother", the "no" can kill your good intention), but do use positives whenever you can. Try to validate the feeling, but not necessarily that the expression is true (i.e. "I can understand that you feel hurt"). If you were in a dispute, do not try to resolve things before both of you are calm and okay, even if you are right - and that goes for both of you, nothing good comes out of it. Put a time-out rule in place, that allows either one of you to say "give me x minutes", and this needs to explicitly defined as; if you need a time-out, do not attack the other person in any way before saying so, and do so as politely as possible (i.e. "Stop! ... Hey, I'm sorry, I really need a pause. Can you give me half an hour or so?") - the key here is that both understand "Stop!" and does so, if requested. During a time-out, calm yourself and before returning, reflect over the issue - also, both of you. Learning how to resolve fights and defuse difficult situations is essential to keeping a relationship alive, with or as a BPD sufferer. Ultimately you both strive for peace and love, so work together! It can be tough, but it can also be done ;)

how to love a BPD: make them stand in front of you, look the opposite way and start running, run like you never ran before as if your life depends on it, cause it does, keep running until you collapse from exhaustion and when you wake up start running again until you collapse....

I feel intense guilt for ending a life long friendship with someone who has BPD. I was recovering from major depression when I realized I could no longer offer my support and love at the expense of my own mental health. The relationship was crippling my own recovery and I could not afford to risk the well being of myself and my family for someone who refused to seek help and commit to treatment. This was eye opening. Thank you for the video.

This is a very good job. As the daughter of a BPD and ex girlfriend of a BPD guy I can tell this video describes what its been like for me. My boyfriend started to say you never loved me when I suggested therapy and my mother used to have outbursts of low self steem when my dad gave her self care products. They are sensitive beings.

My relationships have been with secure people and they have not developed fast but once they get there my borderline comes out. Iam completely aware of it being my fault, i become sensitive and lash out impulsively and when i calm down iam very upset with myself and aware of how abusive i can be that in turn reinforces that i do not deserve this person. Iam now avoidant and would'nt know how to get involved with anyone, im terrified of the feelings i get and terrified of hurting someone i love. I do not deny my mental instabilty.

I have BPD and everything he says is spot on. I had a horrible childhood. I never felt worthy or loved and I've always just had a deep need for that but this mental illness has ruined my life and it has ruined the lives of men who crossed my path because I've gone untreated. I don't want to be this way. I AM A half developed individual and there NEEDS to be stigma so that I am motivated to receive treatment. THIS IS NOT NORMAL. I want to love people the way they deserve to be loved.

At the end of the day, if you have never come across someone with bpd....do yourself a favour and run away, fast!!! I just wish someone had given me the same advice yrs ago.

I’m in a healthy relationship with a borderline and they’re in therapy. Of course there are disagreements as with any relationship, but it’s no different than the average relationship. You just have to be proactive in identifying triggers and identify when they’re being irrational.

Half an individual? Someone capable of love 5times greater than the average person would actually be more human than human..

As a Highly aware BPD its fun to see the comments on Bpd videos on YT, so raw and triggered. its like a giant case study

Thank you for your wisdom and knowledge. It is really helping me through my time of recovery from battling six years of false love.

He must be talking about someone that has severe BPD, like the worst ever. I have some of the characteristics he mentions but I have been dealing with it since I was 19 years old and I have gotten help throughout the entire time. It took years to get the correct diagnosis but when I did I bought the book "New Hope for people with BPD" and figured out how to help myself along with the caring and kindness of my family who never beat me or neglected me..

listening to this man I feel he speaks from bitter experience rather than an unbiased educative position, and is therefore an example of the stigma and not a tool to help demolish it, and so I cannot absorb him seriously as a lecturer on the subject

My best friend had borderline personality disorder due to an abusive and neglectful childhood and had a severe fear of abandonment. We were together for nearly 40 years but then she went for therapy and something switched. She became grandiose and switched to Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I could not believe it and had to walk out when the cycle of rage, gaslighting, devalue and detachment started. I'm a serious person so I did not like the love bomb stage, it annoyed me and I cannot take people like this seriously. It was very confusing until I connected the dots. Most psychologist say they do not evolve from one state to another, I can emphatically state that they can. I know my friend better than anyone else in this world and I saw the switch. Unfortunately the friendship had to end but I know what I know.

Insightful, direct and accurate. The best I’ve seen. Explains the person with BPD and their partner.

This was wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing. I recently had to file a protective order against my now ex-fiance which was one of those most emotionally painful things I've ever had to do. I loved her so much but her emotions would change so suddenly and things would become violent on her part. Threats, physical abuse and destruction of property increased at an exponential rate. I tried talking to her about getting help but she would attempt to manipulate me into thinking that I was the one who needed help. I've been emotionally destroyed by this person and am in the process of recovering. I still care deeply for her because I know she has good heart - she's just damaged. Its a very difficult place to be if that makes sense?

I am the scape goat of the family and suffer from traits of BPD I am also the co dependant to my narcissist mother!

Wow... I was just diagnosed with BPD...came on KZfaq to find info... it’s nice to find out that you think I’m only half a person... incredibly insightful...it’s amazing to me that you think your a professional... do you treat a lot of half people? Absolutely demeaning...

This is so spot on! Every word you said it's frightening. My bpd partner of 3 years I have a son with, has just turned his back on both of us and physically blocked all ways of contact. This man acted like he could not function (that's what he use to say all the time) without me. After a dv relationship of 11 years myself, then I was on my own for 8 years as a result of that trauma , till I met him, this man swooped me off my feet . To cut a long story short, every time (but without a normal person's true justification I add ) he thought I may leave him (and I wasn't going to at all) he went back chasing his ex wife he has a child with. It's all been so intense and crazy and I feel like I've been on a spin cycle for 3 years and just been spat out on the kitchen floor and don't know what's happening. He's now chasing his ex wife who is really sweet (but he led me to believe was a monster) saying their marriage was more "healthy" and he's on a mission to get back with her and like we never existed (me and his son). I'm left upset, hurt, feeling like I'd never go near a man again, and he's chasing up a woman he divorced 3 years ago who he maintained he never really loved. Worst experience of my life! Help!

When I met my spouse, we lingered as friends for years, then began a relationship. I knew he was "different", but didn't know how yet. We became married, and now 14 years later, it was discovered that he has BPD. Yes he can be difficult at times, but as his wife, I feel it's my job to be patient and remain loving him. I'm no co-dependent, but I do have a great deal of experience working with adults and children with a variety of emotional and developmental disorders. I suggest that if someone is in a long term relationship with a person who has BPD , they work together to make it work, rather than abandoning the individual.

Dr Rosenberg, I absolutely respect and appreciate your work. Thank you for what you do. I also think it’s important to mention that sometimes a person who suffers from Borderline PD has been sexually abused or traumatized but had a good childhood.

Living with someone with BPD will take you to hell and back then back again. I've lived with one for years and the episodes last from a day to weeks. You get real tired of being called useless at everything, old, a nobody and the list goes on. I've learnt to ignore the behaviour to degree but that doesn't stop the doing or saying something to get a reaction from me....it's like a trap. Good luck to all

I have been in therapy over 40 years looking for help. I knew I have problems but I was with my wife for 33 years. I believed we had a great marriage and didn't even know there was a problem. I was NOT a perfect husband but I WAS a near perfect father. A year ago I got BADLY physically hurt in a pedestrian hit and run. There were like at least 5 stressors that hit us all at once. My wife left me and turned my children against me. I have not seen them in over a year. 4 days AFTER she left my therapist of SIX YEARS decided I have BPD, Bi-polar and we knew about ADHD, depression and PTSD. My wife says sorry too late. The sweet, perfect, wonderful wife I thought I had has become mean spirited and refuses to even consider anything I have to say. She seems to go out of her way to hurt me. I have been suicidal many times and last night came close. YOUR VIDEO HAS CONVINCED ME I HAVE NO HOPE. Thank you for that.

Very humble to have found this! I wish I could post my long, 1600 word story here but I can tell that this is why for over a decade all of my relationships, close friendships with the opposite sex has been hell. My heart gets so attached so much to the person and hence I have been celibate for years now! I cannot explain but being intimate with someone whom I adore and care for, I fall so much for this person and I get deeply hurt and the cycles goes around in an never ending story of fantasy. Thank you for your words and voice

Thanks! that explains so much of what I've been through with my ex. I have started therapy since to address my self confidence issues. I was so deeply in love and glanced over some very obvious red flags. Now I can't understand how I didn't see them. Everyone else around me saw them and warned me about her behavior.

Keep doing what you do. We need this and we appreciate you!

This is so spot on, especially with regard to hearing something other than what the person dealing with them says.

I have BPD and have always been open to therapy. My mother, on the other hand, the person from whom I learned most of the distorted thinking and who has managed to escape detection, refuses to get help for BPD because she rationalizes away her symptoms. She is terrified to get a BPD diagnosis, partially because she will no longer be able to throw the label in my face when she's upset. The further I am away from my mother, the easier it is for me to heal and get better. Perhaps all people with BPD have things in common, but we are all very different, and some of us can put aside our pride and take the label in order to get help.

If you're borderline you'd better have bucks and family support. No one mentions this - ever. EVER!

Excellent job. Finally I understand what was going on, and why I was drawn back time and time again. Thank you. Until I watched these videos, I had never considered the fact that my codependent personality made me a magnet for BPD. I feel like I barely survived a 5 year long war. lots of scars. Considered becoming a monk afterwards.

Ross Rosenburg I have BPD and just want to say thank you for this video. I got my diagnosis about 7 years ago. I didn't take it too seriously at the time. Actually, it took getting sober to really realize something was seriously wrong with me. I got into a relationship before I understood my diagnosis. I'm still with him and still finding out more about BPD.Our relationship is struggling (surprise). Wanting to face things to do all I can to fix it is why I came to your video. I'm hoping he'll watch it too because I think he might be codependent. I want the best for him. I thank you again for this eye-opening video. Some of us with this disorder actually want to get better.

I’m only 3 minutes in, and this is already the BEST description I’ve found regarding BPD. Just wow.

I have BPD. I am educating myself because I want to change my ways and recover. I am just starting this video, so bring on the aggravation. I need it. Hoping this video really kicks my ass.

very informative and interesting video, thank you for uploading it. i´m very informed about BPD myself as someone who was involved with a borderline. it was the worst experience of my life, but at least i´m learning about my own issues and flaws and trying hard to heal and fix them. can´t wait to see the rest of your videos about BPD.

OMG i have listened to your audiobook!!! i want to say thank you so much for it! i have BPD, and that book helped me come to terms with my broken self. Thank you sincerely. Like, i need the love, especially since my grandparents who loved me so, so much, died, leaving me abandoned. While my parents "love" me, but my experience with them doesn't let me believe in them. i truly long to be loved by someone, completely, who would save me. Save me. i do fantasize about finding that love while also knowing that i would never get loved in reality, ever.

Just wait until a borderline turns on you . My wife recently left me and is desperately trying to keep my daughter from me. They will go to any length to control you , even after they leave .

Nobody is entitled to abuse no matter what thier relationship is with thier prey

Brilliant description Ross. I bought your audiobook of human “magnet syndrome” in 2017. I now know I have a complete attraction to borderlines! My latest ex is someone I’m still massively struggling to get over this particular relationship. Anyway, thanks for your videos

This video you made was very informative. I appreciate everything you did and taking the time to put this video out there so some many have a solid understanding of this issue.

You are mistaken about my message. Why should anyone empathize and/or feel sorry for someone who abuses them. It really boils down this very important fact. If that person took responsibility and was accountable for the harm they perpetrated, they would engage in BPD specific long-term psychotherapy, which, by the way is quite helpful. But the angry people spouting off on this channel want a get out jail pass for each and every time they abuse someone. They use their disorder as a disability, but continue to hurt people. If someone with a can hit me in the head with it, I would contact the police. Their malady doesn't make them innocent. But if the same person with a cane wanted help, tried to seek it, and when receiving it participated in it, then they have all of my sympathy, empathy and patience. Using one's disorder as an excuse for their abuse, and then wanting to feel sympathy, just doesn't fly with me.

This is such excellent information, thank you!

This really hurts. My first girlfriend, was a bpd. She just left me and I feel so broken. I am very quiet and reserved but so lonely and worthless I'm there for everyone's but they are never there for me so I feel even more like thrown away trash when she left me. Just out of the blue. We had so many special moments like out of a movie...I feel so lost I want to hurt myself some days but I just am so lost. This video described her so much in some parts. Thank you for it.

I have BPD and this is all so true. And people shouldn’t be offended by the term half person. Because that’s what I feel. Just because it’s blunt, it doesn’t mean that it’s not true.

I was diagnosed with bi polar 10years before I found out I was actually BPD. I had an episode that cost me my marriage, my family, and I could have lost my daughter. This episode landed my in the hospital against my will, where I spent the first 3 days seduced and restrained. I hit my rock bottom when my daughter came in and I saw the devastation and disappointment and lost look in her eyes, as she never once saw me have an episode and we had a strong and loving relationship, and it broke me to see her like that. It was my 12 year old daughter that gave me the strength, the unconditional love, the want/desire, the hope and the will to really want to take a good look at myself down to the core and get serious intensive help. I stayed willingly at the hospital for 5 weeks where I started learning my triggers and I was introduced to the basics of DBT therapy. I then did an everyday 8-5pm for 30 days out patient program consisting of therapy, CBT, emotion regulation strategies etc etc. It helped more than you could ever imagine, it changed my life really, however the hardest part for me is implementing it everyday all day because it really is changing the way you think entirely, but I'm getting there, and I am trying. I start the full one year DBT program in 2 weeks and I'm so excited and grateful for all of it. BPD people CAN change, it just a matter of looking admitting and accepting your deep to the core traits, and characteristics and behaviors. Then learning about yourself, your diagnosis, the cause, and the treatment options. Then get the therapy you need and take courses till you know the stuff inside and out and feel like you have enough "tools in your toolbox" to handle your most intensive thoughts and moments, then Maintain Maintain Maintain!

No One has the right or an excuse to abuse anyone as with the BPD who verbally abuse and give silent treatments for days on end for unknown reasons need to grow up and learn how to treat people. As adults it's time to take responsibility for ur actions.

My mom and 2 sisters have BPD. They are exhausting, selfish and frantic! It's been the curse of my life being an HSP and too soft hearted. They have never learned to love in anyway real way not themselves or others. I'm full of guilt, and pain. Were all over 50 yrs old now. Nothing seems redeemable in my family members, or in their own lives. It isnt a mild livable disorder! I've watched the children of my siblings become withdrawn, lost adults incapable of communicating their own needs! Its hell on earth

Thanks for such detailed explanations of this disorder. You basically described my current life situation and helped me Clarify some of my personal problems. My sons mother suffers from bpd, and after watching your video I'm the codependent person in that relationship. Looking back at how our relationship started and ended I honestly couldn't make any sense as to why things started off great at first and ended terribly. Your video helped me recognize my own faults in the relationship and also helped me be compassionate towards my sons mother.

To all of you who are suffering from BPD, I do understand you getting offended by this video, I also know that you are suffering a lot. But let me ask: why shouldn't we people without BPD get some advice and knowledge on how to cope with you if possible at all, or how to avoid becoming victims ourselves? Life with you is hell and that's a fact. Thanks Ross Rosenberg for your uploads, keep up the good work!

A person is not a borderline. A person HAS borderline personality disorder. On a more supportive note, I appreciate that you offered a dialectical perspective to the disordered aspects of having the disorder.

This is great information regarding BPD. Thank you very much for your knowledge and commitment to educate. I've worked and lived with individuals with BPD and it is VERY hard to share a life where abandonment is a ongoing theme. I agree, BPD individuals have not fully maturated emotionally and are half-way towards becoming autonomous individuals. The goal is to help them reach their potential and further move away from being half-individuals. Great Stuff!!!

This guy did an amazing job explaining everything and speaks in a way that’s blunt and very informative. I watched a lot of videos that bore me but this guy knows his stuff I 💯 agree with everything he said. Learning about the disorder is the firsts step & it’s starts hurting less once u figure out the root problem

God, this was HARD to watch after knowing my now recent "ex" and i, who had exhibited such intense qualities in the beginning of our relationship, had just monkeybranched me for a new guy she just met....

Great points and video. Truth is first raged against.

very insightful thank you, I recently met someone and I was confused by their behavior. but this really cleared a lot of things for me. I hope he will get help someday, I cannot do a things for him at this time, except maybe pray for him.

I think you're spot on on your analysis. Thank you for the videos

PSA: People with BPD are NOT their disorders. We are not incomplete, abnormal, crazy, or hopeless. We are not failed human beings. There are those who are abusive who happen to have this diagnosis. There are those who have this diagnosis who happen to be abusive. But it is not true of all people diagnosed with BPD. I am so sick of this stigma that tells people I'm dangerous, abusive, incapable of affection and compassion, and unworthy of love. I am so sick of people thinking it's okay to tell me things like, "But you're not fucked up enough to have Borderline Personality Disorder!" as if it's supposed to be a compliment or a statement to solve all of my mental problems. I'm sick of looking for self-help and therapy videos only to find dribble like this that tries to demonize my existence and 'warn' people to stay out of relationships with "incomplete human beings" like me. I have been an abuser and a manipulator. I grew up in an environment where that was the only way I could survive and defend myself. But I own up to it now and I have figured out how to cope with the majority of my issues. However, more often than not, it's the 'sane' people who listen to bull shit like what you're spewing that abuse, manipulate, and take advantage of people with mental illness.

i have bpd and i am so happy to be loved by my boyfriend since 2016 ! he never gets mad, he is patient, he loves me with this disorder cause is part of me ! I am also lucky having a supportive family and I recieve the love I need daily... I hope everyone finds happiness and the love they deserve 💓

These videos are very important. I understand the people with BPD have very painful lives, but we have to be honest about the immense pain they cause on their loved ones. Things kinds of videos are not meant to blame. They are meant for healing for the rest of us who have had to cope with such erratic people (emotionally). My ex's behavior took advantage of my empathy for 14 years. For those with BPD: if these videos trigger you, for goodness sake don't watch them!

Finally!! Important info right of the bat! Thank you!!!

I find these videos very helpful. I have BPD (I did read the warning) and though I am 30 yrs old just 2 weeks ago learned that I have this. I am in no way offended as others on here seem to take things personally on this thread. I am thankful your professionalism and expertise in explaining this illness to others that can't understand why others like me do the things we do. And I understand more about myself that I now see that I couldn't recognize before see you video. Thankyou Miss. O

I have been lonely all my life. Then I met my ex, who had borderline I think. Im still healing from it. My soul is in pieces

Thank you for this video! Helpful!

As a health professional I find this disgusting.

As a poster child as a Borderline, I can't keep relationships. I'm very sensitive. But I care about all people. I empathize of everyone that suffers. I have been in therapy for years. I have found the best action for me to not hurt people is to isolate. I get very afraid to be in social settings because I might impulsively do something wrong. I don't blame anyone. All I can say, it's the most lonely painful sad way to live. I have a few friends who tolerate me. I warn people that if I go off the handle to go away and come back in 24 hours. (this is before they have ever seen the rage). But yes, you are right on about the abuse, the lack of nurturing and the loss of love as a child that cultivated this disorder in me. I think I'm doing better. The abandonment issue is unbearable. I've never left the most abusive men that I have had relationships with. I mean put in the hospital abusive. But everyone has always left me. I'll take it all. Now I sit here day after day all alone. I feel it to be the best way to not hurt anyone.

I am a PERSON diagnosed with BPD. Stop calling us Borderlines. You would get a lot less criticism if you stopped talking about us like we are animals.

I am just beginning to understand how my parents got together, mom's obsession with dad, my lack of bonding, my many life failures. This video helps me greatly, I don't feel so guilty!

I have BPD this was beautifully written, thank you. Trying to work on myself everyday🙏

I respect what he is trying to do with his videos and some of them are spot on but at the same time... dude, you look high in this video.