Yes. Its almost as if she has nothing funny to ever contribute to any question and then relies on the fact that she is clearly a greedy c*nt as her single premise to elicit a laugh. Every time. On every subject. On every programme. Comedy genius.

🤣🤣🤣

Couldn't be bothered to joke around she was busy thinking of recipes

@@ConstantChaos1 🤣🤣🤣👍

Hes the only comedian I know of that considers the implications of a joke before saying it

@@2109917162 i think you'll find most of the more successful and popular comedians always consider the implications of their jokes before saying them. Its certainly not a behaviour confined to David. Otherwise, how would you suppose someone like Dave Chapelle navigates his own material without becoming ostracised as a racist, a misogynist or an ass? One word: discretion

Yeah, he hadn't quite figured out how to explain it the first time around. He said "thought it was a normal tortoise but closer", when he meant "thought it was closer than it actually was, giving it the appearance of a normal tortoise".

Father Ted: no Dougal it's not a giant tortoise, it's a normal tortoise very, very close

@@swine13 hmmmm that didn't age well!

A man of programming I see

unsigned char, actually... Or just a byte.

Overflow implies that he must have been re-incarnated.

1st like

@Cole Tynan 2 nibbles

I see what you did there. Well met.

Badum tiss

I saw that joke coming a mile away. Though it looked like a normal-sized joke at that distance

Paul Paul You could list his achievements on the back of a stamp tho

Haven't science discovered certain sharks can live around 500 years?

Must have been fake news then ;)

*its

My hag neighbour refuses to die and I'm fairly sure she was born before Charlamagne. To her credit, she survived the Salem witch trials unscathed.

I was thinking they'd say 'It's the last one, but surely we can just eat a leg or two and it'll be fine?'

@@nickhamblin8179 Then the tortoise legged it.

"I'm too full!"

@@ThatOneToucan just a wafer thin slice of tortoise

Actually the tortise is in fact quite good. The broth is the best broth I have tasted out of all the animals.

Keep in mind, the quality of shipboard rations at the time was, to put it _incredibly_ lightly, suboptimal. Maggot-infested, extra-hard hard tack kind of sub-optimal.

@@dynamicworlds1 Well at least the maggots provided some much needed protein. 🤢

@@richardlloyd2589 they were weevils not maggots...

And the entire area is littered with tortoises 'sleeping in their shells'.

Not quite what he said but okay

+NiekGAE Jimmy too

+NiekGAE Probably too expensive

Sean and Bill too

he's a regular on would I lie to you

I wouldn't have been too expensive to have a second team captain because at the very inception of QI the creators intended to have Micheal Palin hosting with Stephen and Alan as team captains. Palin had to pull out at the last minute and Stephen took the job of hosting and Alan rather than being a captain became just became Stephens slightly confused student.

I was thinking about that as well, yeah. A lot of people always mention that Mitchell has such great chemistry with, say, Richard Ayoade or Jon Richardson because they are similar in comedic style and character. But honestly, David always performs best with people that aren't at all similar to him: Alan Davies, Sean Lock and obviously Lee Mack. Hell, you could argue that his whole career kicked off because he was partnered with a guy who is not at all similar to himself in Robert Webb.

@@TetraDax He needs someone to rail against. I love David's comedy persona, but it's based around conflict (conflict with himself, mostly!) He works well with Ayoade and Richardson because they lean into each other against a common foe (normally Jimmy Carr), but he's superb when with people like Sean and Alan because they're playing naughty schoolchildren against Stephen's long-suffering Posh Supply Teacher who's a refugee from Eton. 🤣

I am extremely edible

This beef … this beef is sooo edible!

Harrison Clark I disagree simply because of “they say of the acropolis where the Parthenon is”. This does come in a close second place.

I agree the "Parthenon" gag gets first place this is a very close second.

I agree, this stands in my mind as the best segment in QI history. I love the way you can see Alan and David's minds revving up as they begin to see the comedic potential of the concept.

That is quite absurd.

Oh, I don't know ... I really love the space porn bit from the E series quite as well. :) And the Akropolis, too, of course.

It's amazing to think that this is what got them the most animated.

Well, Jo Brand notwithstanding

Well Jo Brand managed to not slag off her hubby or men in general for this clip.

@@jackbonney7371 Show me on the doll where countless women refused to touch you, mate.

That is literally what happened on Darwin’s voyage

This needs to happen, Monty Python and The Voyage of Darwin.

"Charles Darwin’s early years as a student of Christ’s College were not marked by great academic achievements. His first contribution to Cambridge life was the Glutton Club, which he formed with several friends. The sole purpose of this student society was to consume animal meat “before to unknown to the human palate”. The club did not last long, and ended abruptly after an unpleasant experience with a brown owl carcass." No wonder he became a naturalist. universityarms.com/the-journal/charles-darwins-glutton-club/

@@hareecionelson5875 Neil Gaiman wrote a short story which sounds like it could have been based on this, called Sunbird.

@@danawrigleywalkingstickand5677 They should make a film of about the explorers trying not to eat their animals.

Hello. I'm here to tell you how vague "one of the funniest" is. The un-funniest TV short ever would still be "one of the funniest". Thank you for listening. Have a nice day.

KK426LH but no one would say that the un-funniest tv-show is one of the funniest

The marketing for that show could

Something with David Mitchell in is bound to be funny!

Yep

It's a wonder they didn't end up calling it the Delicious Tortoise. I wonder if it's scientific name means "extremely edible."

Pro Kinetics I enjoy a joyful Mitchell. Almost as much as an angry Mitchell.

Pro Kinetics i like phill jupitus on qi too

Mez Hossain Oh make him stop pudsey.

He was 58 when he died.

​@@jackspry9736 Way too early man.

Mine too

Mine too.

"They say of the acropolis, where the Parthenon is..."

droid That's up there.

It's funny

Same for me. I found so many wonderful British comedians through QI.

Yeah nobody else thought of that but you. You’re so smart and unique

That was always one of my favorite Father Ted jokes!!!

@@generalgk I imagine you're not British, so have misunderstood the import of @U-iN'sturn of phrase. We use it to mean _"Who else thought of this too?_ Shame you just used it as an opportunity to be an absolute arse.

@@221b-Maker-Street Shame you used it to be an even bigger one! There's a hyphon in mis-understood isn't there smart arse?

Why else do you think he chose his line of work?

I believe Darwin belonged to a sort of society or club that existed for the members to sample as many different kinds of MEAT as could be laid hands on.... and then describe it. Apparently, Darwin was a bit underimpressed by OWL (?)

Much like tigers savour every bite of human. It's a pity more species can't hunt us down and eat us. There's too many of us.

@@bec5250 well, we do a pretty good job killing ourselves ;) ...but yeh, it does take too long with all those hippies around xD jk

@@bec5250 We've spent so much time eliminating all the species that could've done it.

They say of the Galápagos where the tortoises are...

Quite possibly the best moment on QI ever

Those 2 are my favourites along with the meaning of the word cool,Brian blessed’s dog story,shaving a monkey and what did Watson do more than Holmes 😂😂😂

Tim Monfries been caught myself. Drinking hot coffee then watched QI laughed so hard burnt myself

Turtle soup?

Where can I get a pair of QI shorts?

Same for basically any liquid, I had a similar reaction to them talking about the great earthworks of Benin

Yes XD

Actually, back in the day, there was a BBC radio show called, "Does the Team Think." It's comedian panel ad-libbed in much the same way but to audience questions. It was aping "Any Questions" which is all about serious political debate. The "Does the Team Think" show was very popular through 50s to 70s, and has been reprised several times since... including on TV. (See Wikipedia.) Hey, as I now remember, there was an all-female version people could write in to where the different kind of wit of women was featured. It was called "Petticoat Line, " and was also v popular. (Yeah. Radio was quite a thing., once upon a time. Still is for some...)

Survival of the fittest. Very Darwinian.

Then make it a Pygmy Blue Whale :D

"No Alan, it's a photo. A blue whale would be much bigger and not the thickness of a piece of paper. -10 points"

They actually did that. They asked "What is this" and it was a picture of a blue whale. He was terrified, he didn't know if he should answer or not.

And then the klaxon goes off.

Kez A Jay Do you remember the episode by any chance?

Well as an off-shoot, there is the CBC here in Canada... what you began with above is basically their motto compared to other programming stations who largely only Entertain and sometimes inform, but rarely if ever Educate.

Reith. & #psb

But if this is the peak of the show (for you at least), doesn't that signal to the people you're showing it to that it all goes downhill from here? I mean if you're a comedian, you don't open with your best joke.

This one, Roddy Bewes and Leonardo and the first driving licence are my 3 favourites... almost got hernia when I saw this one for the first time :)

TheNutsoCharles I love how they interact with each other. That is for me one of the great qualities of this show and the guests they choose: they don't simply do bits of routines they have in their current comedy tour, but it is all about the actual topics and reacting on each other in some unforced manner. While there might be funnier moments in QI, this clip perfectly shows the appeal of that concept (I also recommend the bee bit for the same purpose).

OMG that's brilliant!

Absolutely!

From what I've read it's not so much that giant tortoises taste more delicious than any other meat, but rather that when you are stuck on a sailing ship and your only source of meat is old and heavily-salted, then having some nice fresh meat is an irresistible treat. It probably was just like David said: they agreed "OK we'll only eat some of them... maybe just one more... maybe just one more..." and pretty soon they were sitting around getting their story straight about how the last one unfortunately fell ill and died suddenly.

It's too much to ask for some simple humane farming

I think there’s a jackfruit version.

2charliep he didn't want to be typecasted into panel shows

He still gets people coming up to him in the street saying "Are you Dave? Hurhur", does his nut in

@@dismissing For someone who didn't want to get typecast as only doing panel shows, he didn't half do a lot of them! He was rightly celebrated as "A panel show top tier savage". He was a resident on 8 out of 10 Cats for 10 years! And then its sister programme, 8/10 Cats Does Countdown for nine years, a regular on Big Fat Quiz of The Year, Have I Got News For You, and They Think It's All Over, as well as hosting TV Heaven; Telly Hell, and Argumental... I honestly don't think he was asked to be on QI more often that he actually appeared. I for one was glad that he appeared on so many panel shows - I think he thrived on them, tbh.

I mean, you're not wrong lol

Even gives you the choice to fry or boil it

After this episode they should never be boiled. Only Fry’d.

It puts the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again.

That's not very polite.

Had me in the first half

I do, I always keep a sovereign.

Isn't the name usually on the stone where you dig them up?

Eddie Icelander It would be even funnier to watch if they were drunk

RIP

Could you at least get his fucking name right?

How incredibly sad I hadn't heard until your comment.

Keysquall They were either just fried or like how George the IV liked them curried.