Quitting The Camino Portuguese: My Story

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Quitting The Camino Portuguese: My Story

Рет қаралды 12,847

Күн бұрын

In the Spring of 2022, I set out to walk the Camino Portuguese from Porto to Santiago de Compostela. Unfortunately, I struggled greatly on my pilgrimage. I ended up only walking a few days and ended my Camino early. It took me some time to process everything, but I wanted to update you on what happened and why I quit my walk. It could be helpful for others to learn from my mistakes. Or maybe people can relate?!
The reasons why I ended my pilgrimage prematurely are layered & complex. I cover all the bases in the video and in my blog. Generally, I suppose the factors can be categorized as "internal" vs. "external" factors.
Internally, because of the highly transformative nature of my first Camino (the Camino Frances), I set the bar HIGH for what my pilgrimage had to "look" and feel like. I had this myopic vision of how I had to experience the walk psychologically. As someone who deals with depression and anxiety, I always look for ways to cope with both. The Camino and all it represents swiftly became my one size fits all bandage for my mental health struggles. I started this Camino with some baggage, and when it wasn't giving me the "high" I expected, I became super hopeless. My "magic pill" lost its magic!
External, I was not prepared for the Camino Portuguese. If only I could do things different! For one, I was out of shape and needed to adequately research the differences in this route with the Camino Frances. While in Portugal, I constantly compared the routes. In my head (& heart), it was a game of Camino Frances vs. Camino Portuguese. This isn't fair because the routes are SO different, but I couldn't stop! Granted, I only walked a few days leaving from Porto, along the coast, then cut to the Central route. However, in those few days, I was disappointed by the lack of nature and wooded footpaths.
There is much more to say, but I will leave that to this video I put together!
Please be mindful that these are my personal experiences. Most people have a wonderful time walking from Porto to Santiago. My journey was different, and that's okay, too.
Thanks for watching xx
P.s I’m selling my Camino Frances photography PRINTS on my darkroom site. Check it out! nagela.darkroo...
#buencamino
#caminodesantiago #caminoportugues
#caminosantiago #caminofrances
#elcaminodesantiago #hikingadventures #pilgrimage

Пікірлер: 62

@FNDingMyWay Жыл бұрын

I quit the Camino Frances because of my mental health, so I totally feel this struggle with you! And you still experienced a beautiful Camino, the end doesn't matter, it's the journey ❤️

@nagela_alexa Жыл бұрын

Omg! wow! really? thank you for commenting that. That's very reassuring.

@shraddashradda Жыл бұрын

That’s it! Your Camino is only for you very intimate and personal, and it will always teach something; nothing is wasted, it’s beautiful ❤ it also seems as though you received so much wisdom for yourself on this Camino, that’s perfect!

@Angela-ne9cy Жыл бұрын

You said it yourself: the Camino gives you what you need. Sometimes what we need is a dramatic and undeniable moment of redirection. And redirection often does feel like "failure" because we have to give up on the plan we had and embrace the unknown. But "failure" is often the best teacher. You have such a gorgeous spirit and I have NO DOUBT the lessons you learned from this experience will put you on a path you'd never dreamed possible. Sending loads of love your way and looking forward to your next adventure!

@nagela_alexa Жыл бұрын

I appreciate your words so much xx

@katewill7302 Жыл бұрын

This was a very helpful video for me. I wonder often “what if I don’t like it?” or “what if I loose motivation/interest/purpose/drive while on my Camino?” Now, I feel confident that- whatever the outcome- that is the pilgrimage. Thank you!! 🙏🏻

@nagela_alexa Жыл бұрын

Yes!! Those questions are so honest. Not many discuss that. Thank you for your words

@Brendalo1 Жыл бұрын

30-50 euro jump a plane & be anywhere if the camino turns out not your thing ...

@annjessup1670 Жыл бұрын

You will never know how much insight your testimonial has provided me as I waffle about doing this. I struggle with chronic fatigue and have been second guessing my decision to do the Camino right now. I haven’t researched or planned much of anything and I’m actually filled with dread. You’ve given me the permission I need to gracefully bow out this time and do it another time. Thank you so much for your lovely, honest testimonial. ❤

@viralml Жыл бұрын

Moving story and great filming! I'll be on the look out for your next Camino!

@demcduff Жыл бұрын

Kudos to you for recognizing what you needed to do. We know the struggles one must endure in order to walk this wonderful pilgrimage. I watch these videos with such envy, knowing that circumstances as well as my age will prevent me from doing this walk. So I live vicariously through the walkers.

@nagela_alexa Жыл бұрын

Hi Nancy. Thank you so much! It isn't easy but so worth it. I really hope you get to walk one day, even if it's just a little bit. Also many people on the Camino are in their 70s or older!

@demcduff Жыл бұрын

@@nagela_alexa Thank you so much for your sweet reply! I will be 73 shortly, but I feel that I am quite capable of walking the Camino!

@suem3577 4 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story. I did the Camino Frances almost a year ago, and I struggled physically and emotionally. I am still pondering my experience to this day and questioning what happened. I read and watch so many other Camino accounts of people who say how the Camino was the best experience they ever had, while my whole Camino, all I did was wish for it to end. Every night I would explore whether I should go home, and then every morning I felt like all I wanted to do was walk. And so I would go another stage. When I got to the last 100k, it felt like I had gone too far to quit. So I pushed on and made it all the way, but when I got to Santiago, all I could think of was going home as fast as I could. In retrospect, the worst thing I did was to stress and overthink too much while preparing for the Camino. Then I went on the Camino with expectations, and of course, as you know, the Camino doesn't give you want you want, but what you need. I want to thank you for sharing your experience, especially because when I watch all the other vlogs, I feel like such a failure, because I didn't experience the joy and connection like others say they did. With all that said, I am still glad I did it. It was a dream I had for so long. And I did it. I wanted to walk 500 miles by myself and I did. I do feel called to do it again but now I am scared and uncertain. My post-Camino has been filled with daily reflection and work on my inner self. It seems like I can never get away from this Camino! Thanks for listening and for the validation :)

@JohnVianneyPatron 2 ай бұрын

I don't think there's a single pilgrim who doesn't ask themselves "Just why am I doing this?" several times during the walk - it's that which helps self-reflection.

@StefanieHurtado Жыл бұрын

You are such a beautiful person 🥲I'm so impressed with the way you express yourself---so eloquent and loving and sincere. I also walked the Camino Frances in mourning of my Dad's death, and am about to go walk the Portuguese with my mom. Super nervous about comparing this very different Camino with my experience on the Frances. This was so helpful, thank you!!

@jameszumwalt3660 Жыл бұрын

I appreciate your honesty. You have done an amazing amount of self reflection. It took courage to share that with us. I wish you a Bon Camino in the future.

@ColmMcCann Жыл бұрын

It takes a lot of trust and bravery to post a confessional video like this. Being able to acknowledge the reasons that held you back, the lack of confidence in your judgement, possibly the fear of losing more at a time when you were clearly vulnerable... it takes courage and personal reflection... and honesty (with yourself and those watching your videos). Sure, next time! You'll know when that is when you feel it calling you back. Buen Camino!

@nagela_alexa Жыл бұрын

Thanks Colm! Yes, it was tough making this... I really do hope I can return and be in a better mindset & more prepared. It is such a unique experience. I truly do miss it. But timing is everything!

@msmacmac1000 9 ай бұрын

I just watched Nyad! Sometimes you have to start several times before you finish. I’m planning to walk next August or September - before I turn 75. ❤️🙏🏼

@julianajb 3 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing that. I'm about to go on my first Camino and there's always the quitting thoughts. I almost went for the Portuguese one and then I read some about it and thought that it wouldn't be good to do a "less paved" one for the first time, that I might feel too lonely. So I'm embarking on the Frances in the next days :)

@JohnVianneyPatron 2 ай бұрын

Better choice. You will meet more pilgrims on that route and you will motivate each other.

@tornghost 8 ай бұрын

I can relate. I did the Frances too and it was life-changing and then two years later went to do the Portugues expecting it would be the same sort of experience. I walked so far, each day hoping that I would discover some of that magic and community feeling that I found so easily on the Frances, but it wasn't happening. The comparison between the two is the killer. The Portuguese route can't really compete with the Frances on the beauty of its scenery or the variety of landscapes and cities it passes through. It's always going to feel like the cheap off-brand Frances if you try to compare them that way. I saw my pilgrimage out in the end, though I came close to quitting a couple of times. By the end of the route I'd discovered that elusive camino community I'd so longed for, and a friend commented in Santiago as I walked in the streets and bumped into so many people I'd met from the route that I seemed to know everyone on our route! It only all changed when in utter desperation I cried out to God and admitted that I was pushing all my projections and expectations onto this route and not just letting it be what it was. I prayed to have that all taken away and in a matter of an hour or two it all seemed to turn around... old people reappeared, new friends were made, the community came together in a way it had never until that point. Perhaps I was the bottleneck in letting the joy flow into that camino. Thanks for sharing your story. There's no right or wrong. You sound at peace with your decision to do something else and that's good.

@laurilenhardt2188 4 ай бұрын

I have been going down a rabbit hole researching the Camino. I am sooo confident I want to do it. So much so that I've got ALL my gear ready, and have planted the seed to my employer that I WILL be taking time off. But, if I'm completely honest I have a nagging voice in the back of mind questioning if it's right for me. Your real life story is the exact mental story that runs its little voice making me insecure about it. I'm sure I know why I have this voice (I'm going through a divorce that I did not want, that was sprung on me while I was out of the country with friends) and my life is so uncertain I feel gun-shy at every turn, dreading anything that might be like a sucker punch, and being out of the country on this unknown venture has doubting everything. My heart and mind mean well, but this insecure seed that has been planted is getting the better of me when I let it take too much control over my quiet mind. I feel you, and I 100% relate to your story. I am glad that you did what was right for you at the time. There's always tomorrow should you decide again. You have to take care of your mental health.

@jeffroberts_tunes Жыл бұрын

I've done Frances 1x and Portugues 2x. I started in Barcelos both times and this puts you into beautiful walking with plenty of quiet countryside and nature from the start. Last year I started from Lisbon and aborted due to a combination of ugly trail, heat, bad hip, and complete absence of fellow pilgrims. Maybe someday I'll get back on that horse but there's plenty of testimony to too much sharing with traffic and highway walking for that stretch of the route.

@yaya19761 Жыл бұрын

For me walking, hiking are all supposed to be joyous activities. You can see in your video's just how much you didn't want to walk. Do whatever makes you happy. Life is too short to be doing something you don't want to do. Thank you for your honest video :)

@nagela_alexa Жыл бұрын

Amen to that! I learned that eventually. But sometimes I tie things being difficult to its worthiness. I don't know if that makes sense. Thank you

@GeertMeertens Жыл бұрын

You are honest and curious which is wonderful. I get the impression you still have a lot of internal trauma to sort out, emotions from long ago that you repressed but that you need to let out, live through. It will cleanse you. Feeling is healing. Then you can enjoy life as it comes to you and realize: what you project is what you will get.

@optimisticgal Жыл бұрын

I followed you on FB and here on the Frances. Thanks for your update and sharing your process🙏 Respect to you. Isn't it true that we are supportive and empathize with our closest yet showing the same compassion to oneself takes time to achieve. Keep us posted if and when you return to walking, wherever it may be. In the meantime, take good care! Buen Camino my friend!

@nagela_alexa Жыл бұрын

Hi my fellow Camigas :-) Yes, I am my own worst critic. ugh. I would like to return soon. It's calling me. Now my expectations are in check!

@clisaa6974 Жыл бұрын

^Its not a fail. Not everything that doesn’t work out is a fail and the fact that you tried at all is great. I personally could never do it cause I hate it walking like that and if I go to Europe I am not going to waste time walking a trail when I want to spend time visiting cities and exploring like I usually do. Another woman spent 2 months doing the Camino and for me I wouldn’t want to be in Europe for 2 months walking. I am amazed at older people that do the Camino though for sure! But it’s not for everyone and that is okay!

@Emy53 11 ай бұрын

I totally understand your sentiment. I went to Tenerife and Andalucia area in 2019. It was to finally meet my roots. I want to return to Spain to walk around all the white villages, drink wine and just explore my heritage. I would love to do a camino to Santiago, but for me, I want to return to Spain and be by myself and reflect on the rest of my life.

@rossmacintosh5652 Жыл бұрын

I haven't yet done a Camino. Someday I think I will. As something I've long been interested in doing, I've likely watched several hundred if not thousands of videos. I really appreciated watching Nagela's story. It brought home that a Camino is a personal journey and not 'one-size-fits-all'. So much of the Camino-related content on KZfaq seems to fit almost a stereotypical mold of what a Camino is. It was refreshing to hear from Nagela a much more personal real story. I do think it helps me and for that I''m thankful. I was very pleased to hear at the end that she still had some wonderful experiences.

@msmacmac1000 9 ай бұрын

Your honest commentary is lovely. I’m planning for 2024, possibly with a daughter or two or 3🙏🏼-before I turn 75. I’m going to look for your Camino frances video.❤ You’re a beautiful woman. Thanks for this video.

@wyluq28 2 ай бұрын

If someone walked a Camino and when they were done said that they had “ found their Way” and that a very surprising Way had found them… And if they said that their whole life they had always “ pushed through everything”, but on their Camino they had learned to deeply listen to themselves and Honor the truth of their own Being regardless of what others may think, or even regardless of what an earlier version of themselves thought- And if they also learned on their Camino to clearly discern what they Most Needed at any given time and to deeply respect themselves and care for themself in a most optimizing way; well I’d say that they had had an impressive and exquisitely successful Camino. No. Matter. How. Long. It. Was. Your courage, your “ truthing” , your honesty, and your Self Love in the form of radical Self Care , are all powerful processes wrought from YOUR Camino , and in my book a roaring success-- Thank you for modeling such exquisite authenticity and deep self respect.

@souljacker553 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for the honest recap and I'm sure your next Camino will be better. I'm back at it doing the Ingles in March. Buen Camino!

@nagela_alexa Жыл бұрын

I think it will be! Thank you 🙂I am considering the Ingles or El Norte maybe in March or April!

@kimberlyfink1032 Жыл бұрын

It just feels like you are already going through a Camino in your real life. It is solitary just like this Camino and you feel like you are failing. Take heart. Sometimes timing is everything. It is tricky because as soon as you no longer push, it falls into place. Also, you already conquered the actual Camino. That is what it feels like to me at least.

@nagela_alexa Жыл бұрын

Wow. Yes my personal life is a Camino in itself. Thank you. I tend to push and push. So this was a lesson in letting go.

@kimberlyfink1032 Жыл бұрын

@@nagela_alexa oh man. Our whole society teaches us to push and push some more as if you can push through. I mean maybe you can buy at what cost? It sets you back years.

@sandgroper-ig9nk Жыл бұрын

Hi I enjoyed this vid and that something good else became of it . I certainly don't see it as a failure. The thing is you recognised that it wasn't going the way you wanted and decided on another direction. Regroup and you will be fine that's what these little journeys are about tx for you vid

@wanderslust1781 7 ай бұрын

I think no matter which kind of walking you do if camino or just hiking. You have to do how you like it The compostella or the pilgrim passport its not the most important part. Might be a nice to have but all that matters is you enjoy your walk. Who cares what others think. If you have to take the taxi or uber its up to you. I am doing the last 114km in october. I have servel health issues therefor i will only mostly walk like 15km a day and have lugguage transerf and not use allbergues but hotels or pensions. The worst on this trips ppl often do is thinking to much instead just enjoying it. And never think of other what they my think its your way. So good luck for your next try.

@JohnVianneyPatron 2 ай бұрын

I'm an experienced backpacker - did the Portuges (Literol Way + Spiritual Detour) with over 20km a day. The only way to go is to just start. I don't think you were well prepared (just looking at your pack you were way over a reasonable limit) - perhaps you may have had some anxiety issues as well? Portuges is harder than the Frances because a higher degree of self-motivation is required. On the Frances, you just follow the crowd. If you're alone and inexperienced the Portuges is NOT the right path. BTW: It does help to be Catholic because you understand the significance of the pilgrimage and the deep worth of an indulgence. [I stopped in every church that was opened and prayed a rosary. I was able to hand it over to a niece on my return].

@albanosilva378 Жыл бұрын

Doing it in winter is very different to when you do during the warmer and longer days| I believe it would have been a bit more exciting. You tried and that´s the point! Best Regards.

@nagela_alexa Жыл бұрын

thanks Albano! The heat was super tough for me.

@Emy53 11 ай бұрын

I hear so many people that have taken this journey, return home, and the expectation is with what they are dealing with backhome. They are now faced with dealing with reality, and accepting certain situations they have no control over. They want to return to the pilgrimage so that they can leave their mundane lives behind and be free. Guessing it's different for everyone.

@ERIKBLUME Жыл бұрын

Beautiful poetry ...

@shindamann 8 ай бұрын

Your struggles are personal. The camino just brought them to the surface.

@HillTrekkerSarge 7 ай бұрын

Don't overthink walking the Camino so much and get your mind all filled with drama and angst. There's no reason to do so. It's just walking. Something we do all our lives once we get up off all four as an infant. I've walked the Camino eight times. Different routes, different times of year. It's my spiritual and physical fix. Just keep it simple. Pack simple and light and prepare physically before you go. Don't depend upon walking the Camino to get you in shape. The Camino isn't a hike, and not a true backpacking trip. It's simply a long series of walks between cities and towns. It's not austere or primitive anymore. I also don't recommend walking with any type of ear/headphones and listening to music. 24:37 It can be a dangerous thing to do as you cannot hear approaching cars or bicycles. Ultreia

@nagela_alexa 7 ай бұрын

You make a lot of good point! Thank you!

@moni3634 Жыл бұрын

Such a good video,did not like the camino portugese as well after walking the frances last year..felt alone,lot of pavement...was so different...

@simonwells733 11 ай бұрын

Which month was this? I've watched several camino de Portugues videos and the route/scenery does improve eventually. Perhaps you should have taken a bus or train beyond the suburbs to begin the walk.

@tommy123333 Жыл бұрын

Hey that was great. I think you make a great point when you say the camino wont solve all your r problems. A

@bababalletcamino7867 Жыл бұрын

🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾

@MadisValja Жыл бұрын

You can always take a bus and change the route you are walking. English route from Ferrol would have suited much more the experience you were looking for.

@nagela_alexa Жыл бұрын

You know... I agree. But I suppose I felt I would be cheating. I can be a tad inflexible. 😞Well thanks for that suggestion because I am looking into that this April (I think)!

@MadisValja Жыл бұрын

@@nagela_alexa good luck with that and enjoy your walk! Just prepare rainproof pants & jacket/poncho. It will be quite rainy in Galicia in April :)