"How is it even possible to live in an office and be late for work?" Because you have to wake up early, tidy up your living space, then get out of the building so you can pretend to arrive at the office around the same time as everybody else. If something goes wrong, you may end up "trapped" in the building.

my dad was in a campaign once where the DM gave his party two rings and when you put your hand through one, it would appear out the other. The DM though they wouldn't find a use for it. What did they do? They tied one to the tank and the cleric held the other so that the cleric could hit the tank with the touch heal spells without actually being near the tank.

Okay, the kobold in the box thing almost made me piss myself laughing. I haven't slept and I'm completely punchy, and laughing in that insane way that makes my wife think that my mind has finally snapped. Kudos on making me giggle so hard that it scared my poor wife awake, lol.

I was in a D&D session where the DM created a bow called 'The Bow of Immolation' where each shot would set the target on fire but have a 1/10 chance to set the wielder on fire instead. The guy who had it used it twice, the 2nd time, he burned to death.

rSlash: "OGRE! OGRE! OGRE!" rSlash's neighbors: "What the...?!"

"This guy named Daniel I used to work with at McDonald's..." Me, who used to work at McDonald's: Wait, what? "...in High School..." Me, who worked there when I was in High School: Oh, no 😟 "He let everyone know he worked out and enjoyed being on the football team." Me, a lardass: Oh, thank God 😁

When Rslash cusses YT DEMONETIZED When someone breaks into another persons home YT that’s some quality content put them on trending and give them a bunch of money

How did your wife feel when you shouted “OGRE!” 😆

I was in a campaign once where someone tried to overpower themselves with a magical gauntlet they said they had and the DM wasn't going to have that so what the DM did was make it to where the gauntlet would talk to the player so every like 15 minutes the player would have to do a sanity roll because the gauntlet. We would start a battle and the DM would look at the player and just say "do a sanity roll"

I remember once as a DM I gave the players a : "Rat of Opening" in a special bag. The rat was an item that would three times a day be able to open a simple lock by taking it out of the bag and whirling it above your head and then smacking it against the lock. Sadly it also had a powerful flaw as well, THE SMELL, as the item was a dead rat about a week expired but necromantically held in stasis. The second you removed it from the special bag it would fill a room with the "Funk of Ages" a potent skunk-like cloying smell and monsters LOVED IT so any nearby with a decent "nose" were drawn to it. The players were all serious role-players and drama students so we all had to RP the scenes when the rat was used. Merit/Flaw magic items were very common for our group to seed into the campaigns, this one was my favorite and I would love to hear about other similar items/stories. Is there a subreddit like /EntitledPeople or R/JustnoHOA for AD&D stories? Thanks and Keep up the great content rSlash :)

Yesss my daily audio coffee 🙌🏻

Me when Rslash says “Shit”: *Suprised pikachu face*

That kobold story reminds me of a time when my party, while travelling through a dungeon, found a fountain full of Potion of Dragon's Breath. We didn't know what it was. So we took the Goblin captive we were using as a guide and threw him in. Not "made him drink it," but actually hurled this goblin into the fountain. Thing came up breathing fire and we decapitated it. Contaminated the fountain, making it useless.

rSlash: *Curses* The comments: Wait, that's illegal.

One time during dnd my group was trying to kill an archer while I was trying to capture him. Earlier in the game we captured a goblin and I had him basically stuffed in my item pouch. While trying to catch the archer I ran out of ideas and just pegged the goblin at the guy. It did not work.

The create water post reminded me of when my husband and I played DnD with a group of friends years ago. He was a warforge cleric and used the create water spell for murder. Touch someone and create water in the hollow areas of the body i.e. the lungs. It was highly effective, but it meant that he constantly needed to do good things to keep himself on the 'good' spectrum for his spells to work. We were a special bunch. I was a blacksmith barbarian (for the strength bonus) because we had 2 warforges, had a wizard that was a pyromaniac, a clumsy rogue and a ranger who usually got lost. The DM both hated and loved us

Please do more dnd stories, listening to how creative and ridiculous player ideas are is one of my favorite things as the resident Forever DM

So just to troll one of my players who was an annoying twat, I gave him a Really powerful intelligent talking +5 sword that was hemophobic (deathly afraid of blood). Whenever the sword would see blood (so anytime anyone got hit), or be swung at anything that *might* contain blood, it's let out a loud bloodcurdling shriek of fear and pass out, loosing it's hardness and basically turning into a useless limp noodle. It actually had a fair bit of non combat use since it was very intelligent, had several knowledge skills, and could detect magic and identify magic items, but the player never bothered to figure any of that out and basically threw it away when he figured out he couldn't use it in combat.

After hearing Rslash censor himself for a long time, hearing him curse comes out of nowhere

The +3 coconut kills me, and apparently a lot of other people as well!

"Kackwurst" = "turd" in German ^^

The Kobold story reminds me of the first campaign I was in. My DM let us get an uncommon magical item, so since I was a druid, I chose the staff of the python. What ended up happening was we were fighting some kobolds. A few were flying kobolds so they were trying to fly away. So what I did was throw my staff to one, say catch, and then used my action to turn it into a giant constrictor snake. Needless to say, the Kobold was crushed.

"So what your saying is Daniel literally couldnt keep that shit to himself." That was gold.

Worst Co-worker story: So at my old job, I use to work for a cleaning company on a military base...the idea is that we drive around base cleaning buildings we're contracted to clean...Vacuuming, Sweeping, Mopping, bathrooms, trash...you name it Now onto the topic I had at least 9 co-workers who refused to do work and instead made ME do the work or "You will be reported for not doing any work" I quit that job right at the start of their busiest week DnD Story: So this one time I gave them a particular ring, what they misidentified: a ring of persuasion What it actually was: A Chatter Ring (Cursed ring that basically says, once you start talking...YOU CAN'T STOP!!!) They used it as bait for a bandit to take notice, caught him the moment he started talking.

I love when I stay up the entire night, open up KZfaq and continue stay up longer because there’s an R/video up 😂

I had a coworker that I was managing a retail store with (I was 2IC and he was the manager) and he was creepy from day one. During the store opening while he, myself, another store manager, and a young female part-timer were setting up the brand new store he openly joked about going to brothels, and especially all Asian brothels, as he likes them "smaller so they look younger." He once even bragged about seeing a high priced prostitute when he was flown interstate by the company for a manager's conference. After a few weeks, the part-time worker hired stopped showing up and wouldn't answer calls. He claimed ignorance and my area manager just said "it happens" and he was soon moved to a new store. Only after I left the company I found out he quit when a few female staff came forward with sexual harassment claims.

rSlash: Curses Everyone: Wait, that's illegal

Worst coworker: I was to be very friendly with everybody, the company's policy. I did and ended up working with one of the senior employees almost all the time. We would talk a lot. He would mention his plans for Christmas, the fact that we never had enough room on the shelves for the products, etc. I would agree with him though I would try to find explanations for all of these issues. Sometimes I would jokingly mention some of the issues I met such as being too small to reach some products. I would always laugh while talking about that. Some times later, I was scolded by my boss for being disrespectful towards the company. My coworker told our boss everything I said except for the fact that I was ALWAYS answering to his own complaints. Once he even told me that I was being unlucky because of my supervisor (he was not supervised anymore unlike me), I never answered as it was a bit awkward. That conversation was brought back when I was getting scold except that suddenly I was the one complaining about my supervisor. They told me they would end my contract by the end of the month. When I left, my coworker simply said that he was sorry that my own words led to me being fired. Even now, I'm still wary I might be framed so I don't talk to any of my coworkers, except for the bare minimum I have to share.

Rslash: *posts* Everyone who's early: Quick think of something funny

I’ve used “summon water” inside someone’s lungs before. Essentially drowning them on dry land.

I'm a housekeeper in a known hotel chain, so I'm just cleaning and running around 8+ hours. This channel keeps me entertained and gets me through my day💜

all that D&D stuff went over my head

Reply to the DM Question: I once was running a small homebrew D&D campaign for a few friends and at some point one of them bought a bonsai tree from a shop. It was magic, and at the time all it did was wiggle if given a rhythm. So pretty much it was a dancing bonsai tree. Well, one day they need a distraction so the bard grabs up this little tree, takes it to the center of town, and starts playing music. I figure this was a fun bit so when he rolled to perform the song it was a critical success. I figured they should be rewarded for this fun little outing so the tree danced and danced more excitedly until there was a magical explosion and a beautiful woman appeared. She stated she was the goddess of the dance and gave the party her blessing, which gave them a small bonus to performances that involved dancing. Lol

Would anyone else pay money to hear a D&D podcast with rSlash as a player or DM?

I've watched this one before but "he was the best man at my wedding" made me roar with laughter in a way it definitely didn't last time!

8:50 I love when he does that. Funniest thing ever

I feel like I know how the group in stranger things feel 😂

I was in a Persona themed DnD server where we had a scenario where we were Persona users in a virtual reality fending off Shadows. One of the enemy Shadows we faced dropped an item called the Mark of Cain, which was an item that if the user of the consumable item used it and damaged a Shadow with the same arcana, they take seven times the same damage. The boss we faced was of the Magician Arcana. Our Magician Persona user had the bright idea to confuse the boss, who was highly susceptible to status effects, use the item on herself, then charm herself, putting her on the same team as the boss. The boss's rolls kept having bad rolls and attacked her, which in turn gave the boss septuple the damage, while our healer just kept healing her to prevent her from dying and wasting the item. The DM was kind of impressed at first, until it happened again in the next dungeon and he had to give bosses immunity to status effects thereafter. Edit: it was the Mark of Cain. Not the Seal of Solomon. My mistake

I was running a D&D campaign once, and one of the players kept getting on my nerves, so I gave him a magical ring with a brown stone on it that once put on, it could not be removed by his own will. Any time he rolled his d20 the ring was activated. It would either unleash a rabid chipmunk that would tear through his clothes and steal all his gold, or make him shit his pants depending on whether it was an odd or even number that he rolled. He also lost 1HP every time. After going through that for about an hour, he finally asked me if there was anything he could do to get rid of the ring. I told him that if he would stop being an asshole, I would take the ring back. The rest of the game went great.

2:00 These people are sooooooo anoying!!! The office "Knowitall" and "Convo hog"...sucks...

1 view 12 likes and 3 comments, “imma check the comm- oh there is a lot more then 3

I'm confused how this went from worst coworker to funny d&d stories lol

I’m so mad at how hard I laughed at “Fire distinguisher” hahahaha

The D&D one sounded funny. But I didn’t get like 90% of it. The ogre one tho.... that killed me 😂

Birds are weird... I just had one on my *head!*, then he wouldn’t get off! My little brother did get him off and then you uploaded, so now I’m here

Imagine you fire an employee at your own restaurant. Then the next day that employee brings the cops and says, "this person said they were gonna shoot me". Then u say no I said I was gonna fire u then I did. Same thing firing is shooting.

LMAO I love when you shout things from across the room to enhance the story telling. It's the *best* xD

The comment about create water reminded me of my favorite "exploit" with magical items: the Arrowhead of Total Destruction (not my original idea). For those who don't know it's an arrowhead with the arrowhead replaced by an open bag of holding and a tube suspended above it at the "tip" by some metal frames a thin wooden retaining rod. The tube contains a rolled-up portable hole. When fired, the wooden rod breaks and the tube/portable hole tip is pushed into the bag of holding, creating a rift to the astral plane and destroying everything in a 10-foot radius. Used it once. DM never gave us a portable hole again.

I accidently read it as ASS CREDIT , tf is wrong with me

The most annoying person I’ve ever worked with was my younger sister 😰

I don’t know a thing about D&D, I didn’t even understand most of these stories, but somehow Rslash kept me entretaied every single second. Amazing.

That druid messing with the rouge tho XD

Definitely glad I joined your channel been watching for a while and was waiting for the right time to join and I'm so glad I did

“He was one of the 2 people in her 30+ year career that she’d ever fired.” Well at least he achieved something

Some lady who worked for my mom lived in the office for like a week, my mom was so shocked that she had to *tell* her subordinates that they can’t live at work

I'm no DM, but I've got a favorite homebrew joke item. This was probably less than a year ago, but still one of the first sessions I ever participated in. A Dracolich had given the other 3 party members each a puzzle, and in return for the correct answer the Tiefling Bard/Sorcerer asked that they be teleported back to Highdock. The other two got their pick of 3 magical items, but they could only ask one question to determine which one they would rather take. Important to note that my character did not get to pick one, because she had joined the party *after* the Dracolich offered the challenge. She was a Pixie who got summoned by a botched Summon Familiar ritual when the Tiefling's magic went rogue. She spent the puzzle challenge getting to know the Half-Orc Rogue and eating free pastries. Okay back to the magical items. Sorry this is taking so long. The Dragonborn and the Half-Orc chose items that turned out to be a Smiting Branch and a Reaper's Finger (not important what they do, just know they can deal a lot of damage). The third item *(the purpose of this entire comment)* was a sash printed with pictures of "pickles" that smelled strongly of cucumbers. My Pixie was very interested in it. It turns out that the sash would shrink to fit anybody (even the Pixie), and would allow you to carry 100 lbs more than you could otherwise -- sort of okay for most races, but would multiply a Pixie's weight limit by ELEVEN. Its name? The Unencumbered Cucumber Cummerbund. If you know exactly where that name originates from, PLEASE reply to let me know there's someone who recognizes it besides me and my DM! Thistle was very disappointed that nobody pick(l)ed it.

Okay so my friend got some dnd stuff and we started playing dnd with some of our friends (it was all of our first times). So when I was making my character, I decided to base it on Ron Swanson which ended me up with -1 charisma. So my friend was the dm and she said that if I seduced enough stuff she would increase my charisma. Que me attempting to seduce literally everything. One time I rolled a nat20 and seduced a door.

Whoa! I was pretty confused during the last half. (I am no gamer.) I appreciate the effort rSlash. And it seems like a lot of your fans really enjoyed it! But... can we please please please have another choosing beggars soon? Besides me that is. Plllleeeeeaaaaase!?!?

That story about torturing a kobold with a box was hilarious

"So... Daniel literally couldn't keep that shit to himself?" 🤣🤣🤣

16:30 The ch in chasm is pronounced like a K... it's like kasm.

[insert text here] [insert a clock at 6:30 here] “Oh hey it’s six thirty!”

“Couldn’t keep that shit to himself” made me laugh too much!

I love that you did D&D stories today! I always listen to your videos but this one made me extra happy :)

First time being this early! :3 I LOVE your content, rSlash!

Let's just watch the video, and then go to the comments.

Dude second my boss boss dumps trash on my desk I would have said “I quit, looking at the garbage, oh wait I didn’t realize I was looking at the garbage and not you”

Alright, but that "He couldn't keep his shit to himself" joke was pretty good

6:17 Teared up your body? Tore* The story says tears too, so what're doing?

I need to take notes for my D&D campaign I'm DMing starting on the 20th

Kenobi to Big Matt: "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DESTROY THE MOM-THRONGLERS, NOT BECOME ONE!"

I couldn't stop laughing that one forgetting that there in a box but will forget in seconds

The DnD question is the greatest thing I've heard you cover in a long time. LOVED IT!!

How can you be late when you literally live in the office? Maybe he was watching @rSlash all night because of how ADDICTIVE this channel is?

when rslash swears we know something good may've happened

Your Cobolt story reminds me of something I did with them once. We were in a haunted house and when we got to the kitchen we found a scared little Cobolt in the dumbwaiter. He served as a shopkeeper midway through the dungeon and was completley friendly and very timid. Flashforward to later in the house and we find these two ghost children who provide us with a catch22. They need us to kill a monster in the basement but they are also afraid to be left alone. You would have to either get some amazing persuasion rolls or leave a party member behind. As we were only a party of 3, a rogue, a monk(me), and a druid, we didn't want to leave someone behind for a boss fight. That's when I got an idea. I told the rogue to stay with the kids and asked the druid to accompany me, and went back to the kitchen. I went to the dumbwaiter and the Cobolt happily greeted me with "Hello again friend, what do you need?" To which I replied, "Do you want to make some more friends" This got the Cobolt interested enough to tentatively follow me out of the kitchen and back to the top floor. We had him keep the ghost kids company while the whole party fought the boss.

One time in DnD my party was fighting a big enemy (I forget exactly what the enemy was) and I rolled so bad on my turn that my sword missed the enemy and stabbed my teammate in the shoulder

7:41 “pull the lever kronk” “Wrong lever”

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS VIDEO ALL DAYYYYYYYYYY

"Hello I am Connor, the andriod sent by cyber life" And that was my trought in the shout out

That Create Water story reminded me of how one of my players drowned a goblin from the inside because "his lungs count as 'a space' right?" Funniest shit ever

I had this kid in my school and talked about stuff that he had no idea about. He thought a dog was stronger than a bear

For the Walmart story: you can’t be angry at the managers, that shit happens all the time and you can’t trust anyone.

To live within a box only to forget sounds like a nightmare only to forget it to go back to it. That's so evil but so clever

I remember a friend playing DnD and somehow the hot moody rogue got a hold of a frying pan that did no damage but still inflicted the pain of being hit by a iron cast frying pan.

In a game I was in once, my barbarian found a halberd. After getting it, she kept rolling 20s, critting, even one-shotting anything that got near her. The wizard in the group wanted to check out what the halberd was exactly but my barbarian didn't care since it kept her killing up and refused to let the wizard near her. Good thing she did, as when she passed due to her curse, the wizard finally identified the halberd. It was enchanted to be uber powerful as long as you didn't know what was making you so powerful (I forget the exact wording of this part) so it lost all power after the wizard did this. The rest of the party was pissed at the wizard for not only ruining the greatest item ever but disrespecting my barbarian after her death. They ended up burying the halberd with her so that was super nice. When I DMed a few rounds (the normal DM put me in charge when his wife gave birth), I did something similair to rSlash and the box. Though mine was trapped boxes. The wizard (same guy too) kept telling them not to touch the boxes but they wouldn't listen. They were so injured all the time. They did get something like a pet Mimic in the end though. It was a living box that could store anything and everything safely with no limit but it had a mind of its own and kept wandering off with all their shit inside.

What Conner had to say was so nice. I like to listen while I'm working. Makes the whole day just so much better. Thank you r/Slash!!

yaaaas D&D!! I gave my players a bag of devouring, and a special magical golden apple that would turn it into a functional bag of holding/trash bag, but the kobold player decided to cut it in half and give one to the bag and eat the rest 😂 needless to say he has now turned himself into semi functional dual bag of holding with a 10% chance to devour.

Your channel is basically reddit in audiobook format and I love it!!!!!

The only magical item we ever got in my campaign is a freaking sword found on a dead cosplayer’s body. I don’t know if my friend plans on using it because I’ve been convincing people to befriend our enemies. Thank God my DM is my best friend and in on my shenanigans.

Trapping the kobold in the box is so funny. That poor guy

That magic box story is one of the weirdest and funniest things I ever heard.

I had just started a late-shift customer service job at a new business, and had forgotten to bring "lunch". We had some overcooked products that were being discarded, and the manager offered them to me as they'd be going to the trash anyway. A few days later, as I was handling some of our regular customers during the morning rush, the owner came in and started screaming at me that I was fired for "stealing from the company" and that he'd "call the cops". He saw me eating the product, counted the till, hadn't checked the book showing the product accounted for, nor checked with the manager to find out what happened. Instead, he lambasted and fired me in front of people, hours after my shift had actually ended because I wound up covering for one of his children who "couldn't make it". Needless to say, I didn't get into trouble with the police, but he also didn't pay me my last cheque, and the union decided that it wouldn't be worth the trouble to go after it. Fuck that guy.

Heck yeah Conner! Congrats on your first marathon! Way to go RSLASH for being his motivation! ❤️

omg I LOVE the D&D stories! My favorites: coconut weapon, training lock, and your kobold in a box story.

I know a guy with Asperger's and he takes over every conversation whether he was in it or not. He will walk up to random people talking about something else and just start talking about what's going on in his life. People will skillfully end his conversation or steer away from it and the next time there is even the slightest lull in talking he will start up again as if the subject never changed. Sometimes if people are talking too much for him to get a word in (often intentionally) he will just start talking over them about his stuff. He will randomly tell strangers what he plans to make for dinner.

When I worked at a movie theater, there was a guy we called "Bad popcorn Dan". The reason? He stood there, watching as the last bits of popcorn in the popper burned, setting off the fire alarms. . . twice, Christmas day, our busiest day of the year.

I once gave a player a necklace with multicolored pearls. Homebrew magic item. Each one had a chance at a negative side effect, but the two most memorable ones were 1) summon a nonmagical animal companion, but because of bad luck the wearer turned into a Vaporeon 2) all spells below lvl 3 cost no spell slots, but all are centered on the user 2nd one is now fondly remembered by the specific player as the "Kamikaze fireball incident"

In my early 20s I worked part time at a gas station. We had some youth workers there as well (between the ages 15-17), a few of them could be a tad lazy at times but most were not. Except for one that was just all sorts of ridiculous. She told us she only ever got a job because her parents insisted on it to teach her about responsibility, and damn did she need it. I only ever got to be on shift with her once or twice but it was well more than enough to see how unreal she was. Most of that time she was hiding in the bathroom. This would happen every time teenagers approached the gas station; she told me she didn’t want her peers to see her work there emptying garbage cans and other embarrassing stuff. She seriously dropped a garbage bag out front and ran to the bathroom one time, just letting the wind scatter it all over the place. I was quite uncomfortable with confrontation back then so I didn’t call her out on how she shouldn’t be embarrassed about having a paying job while simultaneously insulting MY job. The entitlement was oozing off of her. After a little less then 2 weeks she left and never came back. My boss told me what had happened: She came in late for her shift one Saturday very hungover. This in itself wasn’t an issue, most people there were young and partied during the weekend but still managed to do their job when they showed up despite hangovers. She, however, did not. After having just pushed a broom around in circles in the back for almost an hour my boss went to talk to her. He was nice about it, told her that if she couldn’t do her job after a party then she ought not to party before a shift. This set her off: She dropped the broom, gathered her things and left never to be seen again. I can only imagine a set of very disappointed parents greating her at home 🙄 lol

When the fan has been listening to the channel for three times longer than it’s been around lmao