"THE LINKS ON THE PAPER PAGE DON'T WORK!" 🎶 It's the final brain cell 🎶 be-noo-ne-noo nee-noo-nee-noo-nee nee-noo-nee-noo nee-noo-nee-noo-nee-noo-nee

Okay, but OP in the second story. I was expecting the usual "I am the manager" twist, but the way it was revealed, like it was so nonchalant! "We headed to the executive office... I was wearing jeans... nice suit and jacket just in case." Best way to reveal to the reader ever. 😂

That CIO... He protec he attac but most importantly he got Lucy's back

The CIO story is like a living, real embodiment of not being strong enough for a boss for you return later with better things to kick ass

"how does a person like that become a chief executive in a company?" simple, Nepotism.

That CIO had me in tears with how well he comforted poor Lucy! We need more people like him in charge!

Karen: GIMME YOUR MANAGER NOW!!! I ALSO BROKE ALL THE RULES OP: you know the rules, and so do I. Say goodbye!

The story about the rented conference room reminded me of something. Back when Walt Disney was building Disneyland, he ran out of money when it came to Tomorrowland. So he had to finagle as much as he could do the area would be presentable. One thing he did was ask the Navy if he could borrow a scale model of the USS Nautilus, the first Nuclear powered submarine. The Navy said sure, on the condition that Navy personal would guard it. Two sailors were posted to the park to watch the model. One day, the two of them were slacking off. Hats off, smoking and chatting up some female park guests. An older man sees what they’re doing and comes running up to them, furious, yelling at them to straighten up and get back to work. One of them said the magic words “Who the hell are you, pops?” The man smiled “Sailor, hold that thought.” The man said as he walked away. The sailors went back to chatting with the ladies. A few minutes later, the man returns and stands nose to nose with the sailor. “Does this tell you who I am?” The old man barked. The man was Joe Fowler who A: was the general manager of Disneyland Park and B: was a retired Rear Admiral. He’d gone back to his office nearby to change into his dress uniform. Literally seeing stars and realizing this man was theoretically their superior twice over, the two were model servicemen for the remainder of their tour of duty.

Love how that CIO story was a bit of a mix of talesfromtechsupport and Idontworkherelady

In the 70s, a senior officer in my organisation wanted some confidential documents faxed to head office. He handed an envelope containing the documents to the office staff who commenced to open it to remove the papers to fax them. The officer stated that as the documents were confidential they had to be faxed whilst still in the envelope. The office staff had to explain that the fax machine wasn’t a matter transporter like Star Trek , that it didn’t actually physically move the documents from a to b but essentially photographed them and sent the pictures to the recipient where they were printed out. The upshot was that they were finally taken by courier. Some people shouldn’t be in senior positions. 🤣

"She'd had the entire site printed out..." TREE MURDERER!!!

I’ll bet when the Karen tries to shop online, their manager always gets screamed at because none of the links ever work because the paper doesn’t complete an order she wants to place when she writes in her credit card information and tries to tap “complete order“ on the printed out piece of paper.

that last one. either the boss scolded his **own mother** for doing that, or he had to fire her for doing that. i hope both

I'm no great shakes at using a computer. I'm older and started using computers when the c prompt command line was the common interface. When GUI came out I was over the moon! Now, at my age, I may not be great at computer usage but that's why I have the younger generations tutor me to try to keep me up to date. I just don't get folks my age not knowing a damn thing. To me, that just screams laziness on their part.

Karen: *prints website and screams at OP for it not working* R.I.P Braincells...

All I could think of with tales from tech support is the phrase "computer was filled with bees"

All I could think in the first story when she said ‘nasty things’ was Gollum from lord of the rings. “Nasty hobbits....” Wait...are Karen’s Gollum?

I was actually surprised in the last story, when the boss didn't scream, he started with: You have to fix this please, not: Fix this right now!

My mom is so untechsavvy I would never let her be my secretary to my company. However, she does make killer apple pies, which is why i love her so much.

What in the great depths of hell is that title.

I like how the boss immediately had someone rush out the door with check in hand to get the email server.

First story: The mental gymnastics needed to believe that something that requires actual technology to work can be manipulated through a piece of paper is abysmal. And if she despises technology so much, shouldn't she just be sending her complaint through a postal letter? And don't get me started on the printer. I would also like to know what "qualities" made her deemed fit for a CEO position, because clearly intelligence and attitude is not among them. Second story: The second worst thing for me about middle-aged Karens is them yelling and name-calling younger and inexperienced employees, who are clearly looking uncomfortable, to the point of panic or tears - right after harassing and assaulting kids or other vulnerable population. Her attitude will cost her dearly when she tries to disrespect the wrong person one day, and hopefully not a day too soon. Third story: Proof that you shouldn't let your entitled mother handle your entire business finances. Also, what kind of boss doesn't have an open accountancy regarding such crucial information with the people they employ from the start? That's like asking to have your business money embezzled.

The second one wasn’t TFTS, it was Prorevenge

The only thing that went through my head in the first story was Karen: this page won’t work Op: what do you mean it won’t work Karen: *presses the paper* Op: what are you doing? Karen: I’m a wizard but the page won’t work Op:… Your a what? Karen: A WIZARD Op: oh then … AVADAKADABRA

As a person who grew up with 2 office working parents, I’m always surprised by how little others in their age group know about basic computing

"Give me the manager" "I am the manager" stories are always the best

I would love to work for that CIO!!! That is backing up your staff correctly. Big Props!! That story made my month. 🤣🤣🤣

“I need to speak to your manager!!! The images in my Harry Potter books won’t move!”

I also work in IT and these stories remind me of how when I first started in the industry I had a customer call the helpdesk I was on and asked "How do I make a capital P?" after not kidding 15 minutes he finally understood holding the shift button and pressing P. Only to be followed up with "how do I copy and paste?" needless to say this call lasted over an hour, ending in me banging my head against the desk a few times

Karen: *Being assholes to OP and Lucy* OP: *Absolutely destroys her* Like rslash said before: "NEVER mess with the IT guy."

"Was she tapping on the paper to use links?" "Yes. Yes she was." You know, if she tapped it and actually it worked..... *THEN SHE'S A WITCH!!!*

The second story between Lucy and the guy sounds like a Romcom scene

The first story (albeit a boomer moment) reminded me of the reverse situation happening with my lil brother. He tried to Zoom in to the words on a book. Zoom in. On a Book. Poor guy started crying cuz he couldn't read the words. I was crying from laughter, he was crying cuz he was upset, my parents were confused as to WTF was happening. It was a trainwreck in the house.

Yeah, about that first story, I remember there was a story I had seen once about a cybersecurity minister of Japan, a Yoshitaka Sakurada, where he openly admitted in an interview he had never used a computer before; more-so, he apparently doesn't even know what a USB Drive is. I wish I had the capacity to make that up. XD

2:00 That was my first thought when I saw the title and thumbnail

Regarding the conference room segment: ... Steps out of phone booth, "This is a job for CIO."

I work in IT/Web development and I've got a customer who I pretty much have to shut down their website every month due to non-payment as they ignore every overdue notice and request for payment. Of course they always call within an hour once their website is down.

Morning everyone, happy holidays, and merry early Christmas

So glad my mom is one of the good ones. Every single one of my past relationships, they have loved my mom, she isnt a terrible useless butt, and I can trust her with stuff. #blessed.

The second story was so satisfying to listen to. I absolutely loved it. Well done.

Merry Christmas guys, finally built up the courage to start reddit videos they suck rn but thanks for the inspiration r slash :D

the second one caught me off guard, like damn! That power move!

I'm afraid you can also not print intelligence ma'am.

That story about the chief executive actually broke my brain, I was sipping a drink and instinctively paused my beverage to process what was said

DANG!!! i just CANNOT start my day without my first cup of coffee followed by my side order of rSlash!!!

Wow! I started my own business in 1979 and understood, from the first day, that we would pay our suppliers BEFORE we paid ourselves . . . or we would be out of business. Yes, we ran into a few stupid business owners but they weren't much of a problem because we became "too busy" to continue to deal with them.

Whenever I can hear him fully pronounce "every single day" I feel weird inside

ROFLECOPTER-PILOT is best CIO. Glad Lucy had someone so great watching out for her!

The story where OP chewed out the Karen as both a member of staff in IT AND the CIO had me howling with laughter whole time!

The story where OP is the CIO, that must of been priceless and the legal dispute must of been juicy enough to hear the details of what went down.

The website printed is so funny and so is the we don't want a website so I needn't pay. Those 2 ladies need to get together 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh I love the middle one where poor dear Lucy gets laid into and then gets the big boss's vindication. It's SO good to know when you've got a big dog on your side!

Rslash:”most people i know won’t even trust their mom to open up a PDF file” Me:”But..but...*my dad shrinking in my games folder so nobody sees it with only the keyboard and his right hand while my mom sorts out her entire excel contents touching only the search bar*

1:54: I'm pretty sure I legitimately died, briefly ascended to the afterlife, returned, and nearly passed out from laughter.

Honestly, the more peaceful videos are my favourite, because I can’t deal with garbage people at the moment.

First story... I'm losing my freaking mind. ARE PEOPLE GETTING DUMBER BY THE MINUTE?! My face hurts from laughing.

Karen: "Bring me the manager!" CIO: "Here I am, the manager of all managers. Happy now?"

Hello there

The story were the CEO (or whatever) was in cognito is the best! Bet the look on Karen’s face was priceless. Lesson learned; you never know who you’re talking to, so be nice when you speak with people.

Something tells me that company isn't going to last too long. I mean... she just now made a site and thinks you can use it on paper? Yep, that place is as good as dead.

"I don't have a computer. Nasty things." If an Executive truly believed this they need to be removed from the position & demoted to the lowest level possible before the kill the company is not the 1920s, it's 2020 lady.

That last story sounds like one my mom would tell. She worked part time as an accountant in a small IT, this was after she had retired. The problem had nothing to do with her being a little old lady in an IT environment, it had to do with the fact that the owner operated the company under six different names at once and clients who said "we get our email and file services from (name of the email domain)" doesn't understand getting billed by (name of the file server domain). Almost any time a client changed accountants, they stopped paying their bills.

That first story killed so many brain cells...

Ahahahaha OP literally went to grab his Ass-Kicking Outfit.

That women is the embodiment of my last brain cell

That second story could very well put in a book of short stories and it would sell! What a way to reveal the character's real origin!

oh, the first story reminds me of a story where someone printed an animated GIF and expected it to DANCE ACROSS THE PAPER!

Representative of company that operates completely through email: "I don't use email, I don't need email, I won't pay for email." Owner's mother or not, employees should at least know the basics of how a company works.

Well she thought when someone told her she needed to go to the page that they meant a literal page...of paper so she printed everything up....lmao...

Oh wow, that last one, that one was a good one. 🤣🤣

- oh no! My phone broke! - heres some paper, just cut it to size and open all the links you want.

Back in the 90s, I was supervising a bunch of internet installers. I got a call from one of our new customers who was having technical issues. Long story short, when I told her to "click the windows icon" in the bottom left of her screen, she was using her finger on the screen instead of her mouse, and no, it was not a touch screen. Took almost 20 minutes to figure out what she was doing.

This woman is obviously from the future and very confused as to why she can't use paper to browse the internet anymore

Back in 2001 I worked for an online service of a large bank. You won't belive how many people would try print an online form, fill it in and snailmail it to enroll for the service.

Merry early Christmas everyone!!!!

If somebody called my colleague a B-word, my next sentence would have been: "Bye!"

Goodmorning everyone, good luck to everyone going to work, and people finishing up school for breaks 😁

She printed out a website and expected the paper to load new pages? She either thinks she lives in the wizarding world or is, uhh who's a really stupid Harry Potter character?

I love how in 11:44 the OP is using variables instead of the normal tactics that redditors use to protect privacy. It's absolutely a programmer/sysadmin thing to do and I love it.

Many many years ago, I used to work for a small software company, started out as first level support then later became 2nd level support when they made me IT manager. Company was small enough that I was the entire IT department, but I didn't complain about the pay. I've dealt with all types, but my fave had nothing to do with that job. One other thing I'd done as well is help with computer issues and web site design/maintenance for a small literary agency in San Francisco(husband/wife only). Thing is, I was also doing tech support remotely for the software company after it moved to Boston, and my boss had me on graveyard for a while in order to keep the support requests that came in overnight during "tax season" to a dull roar (it was an accounting software package for investment clubs, with a tax form module each year). So I got to bed abt 8am one day, after letting my boss know via IM any outstanding issues that needed addressed urgently, and fell asleep almost right away. I woke up to my phone ringing in my ear, can't remember if it was 9 or 10, but morning I think, and answered it, totally groggy. The person on the other end, guy from the literary agency, was having problems with his mouse. this is approximate as this was nearly 20 years ago. "No matter what I do, it won't work! It was working a half hour ago!" So I asked, "Is it plugged in?" Him: "Uh, it's a wireless mouse." Me: "Did you try changing the battery?" Him, abt 1 min later: "Hey! That did it!" Me: "Great. Can I go back to sleep now? Bye" Only time I ever gave anyone a tech support problem in my sleep, basically.

Damn, my mom cant even join a zoom meeting without me help. No way in hell am I putting her in charge of what IT services we need.

Have a great day today everyone!

All I can say about the hilarious first story is this: Ladies and gentlemen, we hit a new level of stupid. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I love how OP basically takes Lucy to the Batcave so they can suit up and smackdlwn that joker Karen.

I've heard that some people aren't the brightest bulb in the box, but in this case, I feel that bulb isn't even working, it's just broken, if it's there to begin with.

10:28 - This is too good, too amazing, I gotta say it! "This is Requiem."

OP1: Ma'am can you pass the phone to someone smarter than you? Yes. Just pass the phone to literally anyone.

While working tech support, I've personally experienced both a CIO that received printed e-mail (his laptop stayed in its bag in the corner of the office; he didn't need it, he had his typewriter on the desk), and a team in charge of a company website design using printed copies of the site for their review. Although neither were anywhere near as bad as the ones from this r/.

Oooooh..... Somebody gettin' fired!!

The first one reminds me of that episode of The Amazing World of Gumball, where he visits his moms work and sees everyone in the office trying to use technology........buying something online by putting cash in the CD tray....lol

Morning all ,hope everyone has a good day x

That second to last story sounds like some real judy judy material

This is the quickest I’ve even gotten here

The first story made me laugh. I happen to live in a small town which has a typically small community hospital. The "volunteer auxiliary" runs a charitable storefront and gift shop in the hospital which presumably pays for odds and ends that didn't make it into the hospital's yearly budget. OP's "CIO" was probably a 75 year old woman who got elected to the treasurer post for the year, hasn't got a clue about email, and still writes snail mail letters to her grandkids!

Ok, my idiot self is guilty of this. I printed out some work for homeschool, and it had a link to a video. I touched the paper with my finger. I also read books online, and when I rarely read an actual paperback, I find myself trying to scroll up. Yes, I'm a moron. 😂😂

I worked on the servers team. Our team was responsible for maintaining, patching, upgrading all the companies servers. In addition our team was responsible for all Microsoft servers, email, intranet, databases... After a savage mauling from a SVP, we planned an “IT appreciation day” in which we would take all servers for the day. Obviously that would have effected everyone, so that was a no-go. However his laptop kept experiencing “random issues”, for the rest of his tenure😉

Man, that episode of Undercover Boss: Reddit Edition was pretty wild.

I was thinks the same thing about the tapping on the paper for the first story...😂😂😂

2 Years later. If I entrusted anything important PC related to my mom, she would straight up refused, because she wouldn't want to bother with learning on how to do so.

Ya know how old people are like "sorry kid, you swipe books."? I have heard more story's about full grown adults printing out websites and trying to click them than a kid swiping a book.