I really had missed your "sit down and have a chat about anything" videos! I love the cozy, casual feel of them. Feels like just hanging out with friends! Happy 14 years together and I hope we still get to enjoy your videos for years to come ❣

Yes! This was awesome! Your comment section is poppin off with love and people relating to what you've said!

Love this type of content! It's so interesting to hear your perspectives and your journey together.

Very insightful!

Please make more videos like this!!!! ❤❤❤

I also complain a lot less if others already do. But if noone complains and everyone is just fine... well, if there seems something wrong and annoying to me: someone has to complain about it XD

@@Datenauflauf lmao it's all about balance xD

@@zainebhidoussi1498 exactly! That's actually what I try to explain to others XD it is!

That's like a line from a character-driven dramedy right there.

Gotta balance each other out

Yup, I’ll watch anything

I found the channel because of cats (and Japanese moving company) and I come back to see how much time Jun spends filmings cats when he is supposed to make a video of whatever Rachel is doing.

i love that too when he drifts to the cats when shes talking lol@@riku3716

Can't agree more 🥰

Well said! 🙌🏻🙌🏻

I was thinking this exact thing. I remember in their early videos thinking he seemed like he was always unhappy/reluctant to participate in videos. Since then he’s become so fun and goofy on camera!

Yes. Group bonding.

Yeah, I guess this misunderstanding definitely comes from culture shock. The two culture originate "complaining" from different hidden agendas and that's completely fine. They can understand where their SO is coming from, still, hard to shake off your meaning of the action.

but it has to be done in moderation because if there is too much "commiserating" or "group bonding" as you call it in this way then it's not good. It makes you sound like a very critical, sarcastic, or negative person all the time. Learning to be a positive, likeable, or a reasonable person will cause you to change your wording too. "I hope the weather changes more comfortably soon." "Hopefully the Yankees train harder and do better next year." "Traffic congestion on the expressway is really slow." "The price of milk has gone up again."

I think Chinese in general are just like Americans, no matter where the Chinese is from, be it China, Singapore, Malaysia, etc. We complain as a way to give vent to anger and disappointment, and to people who prob feel the same way. I think it's healthy to complain instead of bottling up but to do it on trivial things and on an every basis can get tiresome to the one who complains and to those who have to listen. Japanese in general may complain little, but that bottle up feeling may manifest in more dangerous ways, like suicide, bullying, stabbing etc. Also because Japanese don't verbalise their thoughts even in things they have a strong opinion about, you wonder sometimes to believe what they say due to them being overly cautious about offending people with their opinions. Edit: To anyone who disagree with what I say about Japanese in gen, check out what the Japanese who hv left Japan say about their own people's reticence of opinions, work culture etc: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/qa55dLSBnLW4g2w.html

​@@ymhktravel whoever said to vent in order to release that bottled up frustration & anger to avoid potentially regretful violent acts, gave really bad advice

I used to have it bad. I'm good now but I was bad. Like I secretly loved pink but would pretend like I didn't because it made me feel superior all for guys to be able to say that I'm better than the other girls.

I think there's a big generation in Western society right now that was taught to dislike and judge women for about everything. We were taught basically every type of woman is wrong. It's finally shifting away from that, and we're allowed to be who we want, but it really reached a peak in the 2000s and girls growing up at that time had to internalize it.

I used to have it too, but once I started letting go of the internalized misogyny I realized I was truly a "girly girl" deep inside.

It used to be so bad for me. It came from jealousy and insecurity. Once I got over that I'm a girl's girl and rarely does the internalized misogyny pop up and when it does I shut that shit down immediately.

I've personally seen more internalized misandry than internalized misogyny but both are real and have the same roots as to why one would become like that. 1) They're taught to hate themselves and others of the same sex, either by family members, school staff, social media, entertainment, influencers and/or propaganda. 2) They had really bad experiences with the same sex, such as bullying and betrayal. 3) They witnessed others of the same sex do terrible things to other people and/or to their loved ones. 4) They were the only son/daughter in the family thus naturally grew to like and adopt things those around them did and enjoyed, thus thinking what is typically normal for boys/girls is weird. 5) Out of pure jealousy because they aren't getting attention from the opposite sex while others are, thus resort to demonizing and insulting other men/women, portray themselves to be an ally and what the opposite sex desires just to have a chance of getting a romantic partner or laid out of desperation - also known as a 'pick me' (best examples of this are JustPearlyThings, Rachel Wilson, and a good portion of male feminists).

Honestly, if I met Jun in the US, i'd believe he was born here. He has little to no accent now, which is incredible for someone who has never even lived abroad. Jun, you should be proud of your skills, it's rare and amazing!

yes!! English is my second language and people know me as someone who never jokes with my English speaking friends. 😂😂 so I’m very impressed

Jun’s English is a perfect American English.

Yeah. Tour guide or interpret may become a nice avenue if job is slow or lacking. That or Japanese teacher... in fact anything teacher if we judge by how his kitty kitchen class is going.

​@@lindsiriathe first time I watched one of their videos, it was focused on the cats and Jun was behind the camera so I just heard his voice. I thought he was American.

😂 love this

In Hungarian we call it "seat of the mother-in-law"😂.....I guess because mother-in-laws like to criticise the driving skills of their son-in-laws 😅

In Portugal we call it either "lugar do morto" which means "seat of the dead" (because it used to be the most likely seat for a person to die in a car crash) or "lugar do pendura" which means "hitchhiker's seat". So yeah, none of them very positive.

​@@ladybirdgirl88 haha, i wanted to write this one as well, but I saw your comment. So nice to see it. 😊😊😊

It could be he's just hiding and suppressing anger and annoyance because it's not socially acceptable in Japan to express it. There has to be some expression of "negative" emotions to be mentally healthy.

​@2degucitas this is accurate. You can't really talk about your mental health in japan as it is seen as you are a selfish person that can't help others. It isn't healthy.

@@2degucitas Agreed. I'm a very "it's fine, no worries" kind of person on the outside, but "very worried 24/7" on the inside. It's just that when I've tried to open up, people have downplayed my concerns or flipped the focus on themselves, so I keep things to myself now. Plus, I tend to surpress strong emotions to avoid the discomfort of experiencing them, which can leave the impression of being mature and balanced when in fact, it's the total opposite. Not saying it's the case with Jun, but people's inner worlds are a lot more complex than their smiles let on and we should be careful with the unhealthy/healthy labels.

​@@brittm1960 the fact that he is feeling stable makes him healthy. As andrew tate said, people should have grasp on their emotions. Recognize them, but dont let negative emotions affect you.

+1 to this ❤

This is such a good way to put it! A lot of us are also now little grandpas/grandmas into house design/DIY/gardening. All of it is great!

Well said

This comment makes me feel nostalgic. I've been following Rachel for an extremely long time. I was in my mid-20s at the time. She, her life and her relationship with Jun have always been an inspiration to me. The fact that they are still in a happy relationship makes me really happy. 🙂

Hei torille! I'm from Finland too. 😄

Completely me. I was run through the ringer working in customer service for 5 years and I still can't have "normal" conversations with people without restrained negativity. People have always disliked me for it, but it really feels like I either don't talk, don't connect, don't socialize...or I just do all those things really imperfectly, and keep living. Idk. It's hard. (Autistic too)

Saaaame 😭 It's either complaining or just talking about the subjects I'm interessted in

I didn't know that this was an autism trait. I think I need to get diagnosed 😮😮

Not necessarily. But it's common. ​@@akiheavenly6

I've got a question, I am suspected of having autism and I have always had an extreme interest in both psychology (specifically autism) and Japanese culture. Am I the only one who has seen a lot of similarities in how autistic people and Japanese society generally seem to function? From what I have seen, a lot of Japanese based mannerisms and general social structures seem like they would be much easier for an autistic person to function in compared to, let's say, an autistic person trying to function in America, where it is expected for people to do things like: make eye contact, make small talk with everybody, even physically touch people regularly by patting their back sometime or touching their shoulder before passing by them. America often seems more like a generally more emotional and free willed society compared to Japan, which is often perceived as a more logical/structured society almost making america feel like it is very incompatible for autistic people. And like Rachel talked about, myself and a lot of autistic people I've met seem to have similar struggles with the arguments of only saying, "I love you" in very serious/specific situations or not saying it at all, pointing things out as a passenger just making sense but people often taking it as an insult, and PDA being uncomfortable. I don't know, I have been thinking about this for years, when I started learning more about how their schools are structured and how they seem to function more through strict rules and structures whereas Americans are notorious for being terrible at following rules and generally seen as more expressive, free flowing, and defiant. This may all be coincidental, or me just projecting my interest in autism onto my interest in Japanese culture, but I have always wondered if it were possible for certain cultures to be better suited for certain types of brains due to them possibly having a larger percentage of their population having a specific disorder, like autism, but being undiagnosed. If that were the case it theoretically could lead to their leaders also having a higher percentage of people who are neurodivergent, leading to rules being proposed that would make the most sense for functioning with their disorder. And if there was a higher percentage of their populace with the same undiagnosed disorder they would most likely think the same way and would be likely to support those rules. Slowly creating a society that would be built to better support that type of disorder. I don't know, these are all things I have thought about for a long time now but have never had anybody who had any interest in both autism and Japan to share the thoughts with, so if yoy read this far, thank you for coming to my TED talk and I'm very curious if anybody else has ever wondered the same things. P.S. this has a lot of HUGE generalizations and I understand that no two people are the same, let alone whole demographics of people. I am strictly speaking on the possibility of certain countries having higher percentages of specific disorders and that leading to a society that would better support/be more comfortable for people with that disorder to function in. I'm also hinting at a personal hypothesis of Japan possibly having a higher percentage of autistic leaders/people in the past, leading to a society that could be more attuned for autistic people. And I am in no way trying to say that I am definitely right or that what I'm saying is fact. I'm also not trying to insinuate that all Japanese people are autistic or that all autistic people act the same way as Japanese people. I am only trying to share a coincidence that I have noticed and a really wild theory that I made to try and explain it. If anything I said is offensive or disrespectful I apologize profusely and will do my best to correct my mistake

Ooo I really like that phrase, thank you for commenting 📝!!

I feel the same way. I'd rather annoy the driver by pointing out things that they did actually notice than have something bad happen because they didn't see something that I saw.

in my country we call it co-driver seat similar to the japanese word, so i think also there is not as much negative conotation to it :)

Seconded. Help keeping the driver focused and aware. Especially if it was a long drive, or at night. I can't drive, but I'll talk to the driver and such for the whole drive.

I'm a backseat driver. I like that Jun thinks it's a good thing lol

I always tell the person in my passenger seat when I need help. XD Like, I'm from an area where we don't have animals darting out into the road. So if I'm driving at night especially and I have a passenger I'm like, "Yo, your job is to help me took for animals." Sometimes the passenger doesn't have a job. But sometimes they do. XD I just ask them to do what I need them to do.

Yes! I hope people doing more like this, a long drive will be less boring.

Totally agree; the co-pilot, when I'm driving on a road trip, keeps me awake, keeps an eye on the road for safety, helps with food, and so far as I'm concerned doubles the chances of getting where we want to go unharmed and happy. If I go on trips alone I'm always a lot more anxious without someone beside me who can see what I can't. And the co-pilot is the navigator; it's so much better to travel together!

There is spanglish for me in Miami There is Konglish when I watch Kpop stuff There is Japanglish when I watch this

I do that in German and English with my kids (and other people who know both languages). Some words just work better for expressing ideas in one language than the other.

I live in Southern California and took Spanish in high school and French in college. Now when I speak Spanish I sound like I'm from Mexico's French colonial period with the mash up of languages.

My mom did that too, forgetting my husband couldn't understand hungarian, lol. Miss it and miss her 😢.

I live on the east coast of Canada where there are large pockets of French communities, so a lot of folks mix English and French together. People either call it franglish or the specific area I'm from chiac. It can sometimes be difficult to understand because you have to use different parts of you brain constantly and depending on where you are the accents can be real thick and names for things different even between Nova Scotia and New Brunswick

Awe, you sound like such a lovely person

are finnish bad drivers???

@@aprilbox3766 Finns are statistically very good drivers. There are relatively little car accidents on our roads. The phrase is finnish style humor.

You can also call it the place for "apukuski" (drivers helper) or "kartanlukija" (map reader). So many names are used, but that one is definitely proof of our dark humour 😂

In France is "la place du mort" " the died place". Yes the French are routh and driving in Paris is not romantic😅

big rally culture lends to the humour.

A good one online compared to the thousands of bad ones Seeing them makes me and others feel better

Its cute. you can seen the moment rachel said 14 years juns eyes lit up.

they don’t seem happy to me. she seems anxious and worried to fix herself according to his standards and he seems avoidant and dismissive of her feelings, at times even annoyed when engaging with her. i don’t know how everyone doesn’t see it. it’s right on their faces and body language. being avoidant and dismissive of another’s feelings is actually emotional abuse and she being so fixated over fixing and changing herself instead of being received by him and embraced emotionally… i can tell who holds the power in the relationship. i hope they can find a truer and more authentic harmony.

Yes, I think it is a common thing for people to have different personalities when speaking in different languages.

When you ask. Or if there is a valet reason for someone to react. I am fine with it. It becomes a issue when someone information you just don't need and is more distracting than helping. I did it my self last week siting in the car with my mother. she was about to cross a red light and I warned her. Wich she did appreciate.

I have the habit of saying "you're good this direction " when we are getting ready to turn. My thinking is the driver can't see through me and might miss something .

@@Mommee77 It really helps when you cross a rout that would fall behind the doorpost. (about 4 to 5 a clock.) In a empty car you would still not be able to see.

I have mobility issues and so does my father, so it's hard for either of us to turn around and look out the back window to see anything behind us. And we're not rich enough to afford a new vehicle with backup cameras. Anyway, i got into the habit of watching out the back and on my side of the car to call out for any traffic. Now i live on my own and whenever I ride with someone that habit is still there to watch for traffic on my side and call out "you're clear on this side" or "you got [X number of] cars coming".

Canadian here! My partner and I do this with each other too. Especially helpful when you're making a large turn without traffic lights. We also do this when jaywalking 😅

I wish you were correct about good mental health being common, but with the ongoing pandemic, political situation and economic crisis across the globe, it isn't.

@@katiehettinger7857You do also see people talk about the negative more than the positive. So you’ll see on the internet and the news about people who are unwell. That’s not to say there are no mental health problems but I do think people often forget that the internet and news isn’t every day life. Like after reading a lot of Reddit stories I was convinced for a couple months every relationship sucked now and saying was horrible and no one was nice me everyone was controlling or toxic because that’s all I saw. Then I realized that a big majority of people you meet will actually be chill and have no clue about the deep creepy internet things and opinions I’ve had to bleach my eyes over.

Yeah it's not for a lack of trying. Mental illness often isn't just willed away by wanting to be more something. At least I have never heard of anyone going "i am stopping my anger issues now" or something similar, if it was that easy, why wouldnt everyone do that...

Not really, most “normal” people actually have unhealthy minds, they just dont talk about it. Jun ACTUALLY has a healthy mindset, which is why its rare.

I was looking for this comment! LOL

Shame is one of the reasons as to why one would become an internalized misogynist or even an internalized misandrist (personally I've seen more of the latter than the former - depends where you are and what you see). That shaming usually comes from family members, school staff, social media, entertainment, influencers and/or propaganda. There are other reasons as well, such as: -Really bad experiences with the same sex (such as bullying and betrayal) -Witnessed others of the same sex do terrible things to other people and/or to their loved ones -They were the only son/daughter in the family or boy/girl in a friend group thus naturally grew to like and adopt things those around them did and enjoyed, thus thinking what is typically normal for boys/girls is weird -Out of pure jealousy because they aren't getting attention from the opposite sex while others are, thus resort to demonizing and insulting other men/women, portray themselves to be an ally and what the opposite sex desires just to have a chance of getting a romantic partner or laid out of desperation - also known as a 'pick me' (best examples of this are JustPearlyThings, Rachel Wilson, and a good portion of male feminists).

Thank you for that comment.

@@davinky1229 You're welcome :) Have a nice day and night!

You're not alone. I was (unintentionally) raised to believe that those feminine traits/habits/perspectives were frivolous and/or useless, or even straight burdensome. Not true. Not true At All. Its been an unlearning process, letting myself investigate and enjoy the more feminine aspects of life, and not feeling shame for it.

Me too

i think i just hated being pigeonholed into "oh your a girl so you must like pink, etc" in my case i was a tomboy to rebel, not misogyny lol😅

@@X3nophiliacSame. Even the “oh you’re a girl. WHEN YOU GET OLDER AND MATURE, you will start liking 💐 feminine 💐things and being a Real WomanTM” like having tomboy interests or personality is something immature and meant to be outgrown.

That's how I felt! I genuinely didn't like what would be considered stereotypically "feminine" things at the time but I did judge other girls for it and that's where my issue is. @@X3nophiliac

How did you manage to stay together? Id like for you to share your wisdom. 🙂

@@user-fi7bb1ds3s Well first, relationships CAN work if you're the polar opposite of your partner, it's nice to have things you like and dislike and finding that alone to be considered the perfect relationship, with that said, my boyfriend and I have been together for 12 whole years, no breakups, no fights, we are different from each other, and that's what I love about him. I love the fact my boyfriend is so much different than I am, and that's what I love about him the most, I love that this relationship of mine has been peaceful. We don't fight over who is making how much from their job, we don't make the relationship work based off income (I have seen this), though I do know why, but for me that's not what a relationship should be all about. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and soul, at this point I call him my husband lol But true love exists out there, reading from google, apparently 67% of the human population has found true love.

It’s a kind of linguistic relativity. Bilingual speakers have attested that they think differently when using different languages, because different languages require you to pay attention to different things or to speak in terms of different concepts

Nah, they are some of the easiest languages to learn, Japanese is one of the easiest Asian languages, if the not the easiest, and English is one of the easiest European languages, both when it comes to grammar and pronounciation. English grammar is soooooo fricking simple compared to Roman and full Germanic (I'm saying full because at least when it comes to vocabulary English uses a lot of Germanic words) languages! It's so fricking simple kindergardeners can learn to rudimentarily communicate in English in a couple of months. Same with Japanese compared to other Asian languages. I am German and I have zero problems pronouncing Japanese but I can barely get out of a word of Thai, Vietnamese etc.

@@phantagirlable The Foreign Service Institute, a sub-department of the US State Department, survayed 63 world languages and ranked them according to difficulty; five were ranked at the highest difficulty, requiring 88 weeks of full time study for fluency: Arabic, Cantonese, Mandarin, Japanese and Korean. In addition, both the FSI and the National Virtual Translation Centre noted that Japanese was especially challanging even among those five.

​@@Eden_Laikabut what parts were they assessing? If they're also assessing the writing part of language then japan is super hard. I think that when people say Japanese is easy they mostly mean pronunciation and grammar and aren't factoring in the writing.

@@arowace498 It was a holistic survay, so looking at fluency in both speech and writing. But in terms of pronounciation, English and Japanese are very phonemically distinct, and there are plenty of videos, including on this channel, of Japanese speakers struggling with English pronounciations. I get that difficulty is largely subjective, but I can't see a Japanese speaker finding English easier than Korean or Mandarin, if only phonologically, especially given how broad English phonotactics are compared to those other languages.

@@Eden_Laika In my experience I think differences in tonality make up a lot of difficulty. If you aren't used to the tones you can't even hear your mispronunciation. I only took Mandarin for a little bit and didn't make any progress... I was quiet young but I don't anticipate I've made any progress on that front. Anyways, English is more tonal than Japanese, which is much more monotone. It's easier to speak flatter than to speak with tones you can't hear. Which is why i think English speakers find Japanese easier, and Japanese speakers find English hard. Going from Japanese to Spanish or visa versa also seems easier. They use most of the same sounds with vowels. Someone in my family took in a Japanese exchange student and they learned more spanish than english, even while living in the US. I thought that was kinda sweet in a way.

I think she needs to learn the difference between criticism and someone helping her.

I agree.

@@g.holland4862It’s a hard habit to unlearn with anxiety, myself included, we automatically assume the worse in fear rather than thinking it’s someone who is genuinely helping and I agree but it talks a lot of learning 😣

Not just Americans but Canadians too...It's a conversation trap that is very easy to fall into...and even when I try to lead it away from that it can be difficult because there are just certain people who only want to complain/vent...it can be so exhausting, and as someone who is very in tune with peoples emotions it's very hard for me to block it or not take it on as my own (I hope that made sense) it becomes even more exhausting

​​@@laurathiele9591it's still nicer than in my country. Their greeting not just good morning or how are you? But why you still not married? Are you pregnant? Or when you have another child? Or maybe job 😅 so they could comparing to their own jobs. 😂 I choose to stay at home comparing to chit chat with them 😂

finding a common enemy is how i quickly made friends in college lol

agree!!! plz

ahh yes please a plant tour would be great! 🥺🙏

i’ve been living with my partner for just over a year now, and it’s true 😅 it’s been a learning curve! (in a good way) ❤

Exactly! Been with my husband for nearly a decade and the worst fights we had was the first two years of living together! Now he’s the only person I fully can be myself now and relax better at home bc we worked through it and are still together!

Im just leaving this. I know it helps the channel 👍☺