There are two types of people in this world: normal people and oil spill likers. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Is there something down here...? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Yikes! You must have taken a long fall to land all the way down here! Before you begin your journey back to the actual video playing at the top of the page, let me offer you the free gift of a subscription to a KZfaq channel with a growing library of Mario Kart Wii content. kzfaq.info

"You'll rarely find yourself playing offline unless it's time trials" Beanzard what if I have friends or a family

Bro forgot the bomb car 💀

Me: I can’t wait to see where the bomb car lands Me 29 minutes and 43 seconds later: 🥲😭

I hate when I’m about to win the race and as I’m doing a trick a snowboarding shy guy, tells me, “nuh uh.”

As someone who has played mostly offline multiplayer, the shy guy beach crabs and bombs are probably the worst, I’ve had bombs drop on me in the middle of a race lol

I am shocked! Shocked and appalled by the utter disrespect given to these respectable stage hazards! Misnaming them... how cruel! 0:53 A bat?! Excuse me sir, that is a Swoop! 5:39 And that is a Sidestepper! 8:52 Monty Mole! 16:50 That's not just any cow, that is a Moo Moo! But aside from those injustices, great video! 😀

the crabs are S tier, they just be chillin

Troy would say the *CONES* are actually the final boss of wii 🤣

Bro when i was younger, i was SCARED of thwomps and chsin chops ti rhe point where i would refuse to play the tracks☠️☠️☠️

The ducks induced true fear in me as a child, yet I can't help but love them as a hazard lol

Having only ever played multiplayer with my siblings - some of these low-rated hazards are BRUTAL

Bro really mad that there is a lot of cars on a highway track

Thursday: literal fucking history Saturday: ranking random shit

I don't understand why the cactus got C tier. Based on the rankings you gave to things in D and F tier, it actually should have gotten the worst ranking. You literally have to go off the track to hit it, and it's not in the way of any sort of short cuts or anything. I didn't even know you could hit those things and get damaged until I saw someone do it in a KZfaq video. That's really the only ranking I disagree with though. The rest seem fine. I don't really care much about the hazards lol I just thought the cactus was a bizarre ranking compared to the rationale for some other rankings

dude whenever im doing a race on coconut mall, those stupid cars at the end always hit me and completely ruin my race. basically the only reason i lose on coconut mall is to those dang cars. im pretty sure those guys arent even legally allowed to drive too.

Calling the moonview highway music ok is diABOLICAL 😭😭😭😭

The ducks always inconvenience you at the worst possible time

Forgot about the Peach Gardens Chain Chomps.

As someone who doesnt play this game often anymore but loved it as a kid and watches these vids out of nostalgia, I feel like I'm missing something. Is moonview that hated?! I love that map, its my favorite course in the game and the cars are a big part of that. It feels so good to just dodge all of them while taking all the drifts in between, its the first track I felt like I was a god on and still the one I'm best at 😂

I think the reason why it's normal to hit the Coconut Mall cars is because they come up right after a hard turn so you don't have much time to see where they are and steer out of the way

Useless fact: there is one lava pillar in grumble volcano. It is at the end of the first big right turn on the left. It only spawns after the rock on the left side falls. The rocks fall at 1 minute and the lava pillar spawns at 1 minute 30 seconds and every 15 seconds later. You’re welcome

Knock knock Whos there A cow says A cow says who No a cow says mooooo!

17:31 justice for moomoo🗣️🗣️🗣️

Now THIS is the content I subscribed for

Bro forgot dark water

I would’ve put the penguins in S Tier personally as they’re another reason why Sherbet Land is one of the worst tracks ever.

5:06 I can't believe he forgot that these cactus are in one of the battle maps and they are annoying because the borders are FULL of them it's easy to pop a ballon and lose coins when the Tromp hit the middle of the map and causes the sand to push you back

beanzard is so cool i wish beans were real

I'd posit the big explodey Bowser fireball may well have been meant to indirectly encourage people to use the faster, less direct side routes. Especially if that track was introduced in the first game with jumpy-halfpipe shenanigans, it would make sense to me to attempt teaching players to use the new mechanic what got put in the game.

The cow deserves at least A tier, it's so iconic. Also, it happens to be my personal favorite, so there's that...

Beanzard dropping another banger of a video

I also want to point out that because I am a god at Moonview, the bomb cars are nothing to me, the odds of me hitting one are usually none.

The Super Blooper man is back!

grumble volcano/block plaza falling thingys: am i a joke to you?

Thank you Beanzard for this niche information about Mario Kart Wii which I will surely find myself utilizing in day to day life

Maybe its Mandela effect but i believe you can trick off the bombs before they explode on shy guy beach and that aspect i find super cool with a risk reward feature

As a kid there was literally nothing I despised more than those satanic hellspawns roaming Peach Beach

just put my fries in the bag bro

Couple of things I want to say. Mostly as a Kart main player. 1) MMM Lap 3 cows are the bane of my existence. They are right on the Kart line (just barely off the bike line), and make it really hard on TT. 2) MH Cars are slightly worse for Kart mains. Due to the pace required for good times, they only allow top lap 1 times through for Lap 2 cut (karts do 1-1-1, taking grass cut all three laps). Also, every now and again, the lap 1 one can squish despite you not even touching it when you are above it. 3) No bomb cars? (Also, they can be used offensively online if you throw a green shell at one.) 4) DC Cones are worse. Online they aren't that bad, but in TT, the tunnel ones are a nightmare, and the hairpin one on the racing lines are no better. Literally requires the pixel - perfect angle to hit them if you don't want to lose your drift (or slow down a lot). This is also why I am more than 3 seconds slower than Kart WR (despite the fact that I am using Dry Bowser FF, KWR uses Daisy WW). Yeah, that's about all I had to say.

The best hazards imo are the coconutmall cars, and i'd say the minecarts in that one level I forgot the name of. And I personally hate the moon view highway hazards, and the snowboarder fellows.

This is interesting because even if I don't play online things like those boxes break and in Bowsers Castle 3 item boxes do sometime appear instead of the lava bubbles

Most convoluted tier list ever

something i’ll never forget is one time, a grumble volcano meteor cracked on a blue shell and dodged me for free. 10 year old me was astonished

Has anyone else made a turn on a Koopa cape and see a goomba, but think it’s a mushroom?

29:17 I wasn't expecting to hear music from GBA Battle for Bikini Bottom, but I am thrilled that I am not the only one that likes the music from that game lol.

the bat slander will not be tolerated, they do their job perfectly. bats don’t attack humans because they can’t see. they “see” (with echo location) a threatening disturbance, all scurry out the cave, and just kinda slap into whatever is in their path.

The entire portion of my brain responisble for nostalgia erupted once I saw that oil spill texture.

"It does it's job. I'm not quite sure what it's job is." Lol It's very cute and fun listening to your thought process. Also don't worry, I'm quite sure I'll be able to hit those oil spills 😄

You forgot the chain chomps that move (without the chain) in Peach Gardens ! ! 😊

Hello bean, I am late to the video because i was in Chicago, glad to see your videos, I was trying go on the internet for a minimal the internet during the trip

0:10 The fact that you used Eternal Sonata music made me realise I wasn't subscribed and immediately rectify that error HELL YEAH ETERNAL SONATA

I HATE the cataquacks with a PASSION. Me and my brother have a wii mini that we played a lot in our childhood, it wasn’t connected to the internet so the cataquacks were the absolute worst. My brother got it back out recently of storage and I dread playing Peach Beach.

Am i the only one waiting for summoning salt to make a third mkwii vid with bean in?

5:38 moment of unsatisfaction 😭

I think I would have separated the moving/stationary moles and crates, since they are almost a different hazard. (maybe Thwomps too) Also, the Raceway piranha plants could be B tier, if you take their potential for hiding bananas into account (especially on the last turn). Aside from that, I completely agree with this list! 👍

I've been sniped by those bombs on several occasions, impossible to dodge when they hit you before they hit the ground xD

loved that intro lol

The two worst hazards that came to mind were the cars from moonview highway and the void from rainbow road

that intro was perfect. i liked how you also put some tomodachi collection's soundtrack in the intro as well

I definitely remember the crates breaking offline, not on time trials though that's correct. The "flame is sometimes an item box" thing also happens offline, but of course not on time trials. I used to always play offline. Only played online once, and that's because soon after the servers were shut down.

you should speedrun hitting every hazard 💀

The Bob-omb karts in Moonview Highway, the Piranha Plants in Waluigi Stadium and the umbrellas in Shy Guy Beach were the best hazards in this ranking imo 😂😂😂

Awesome seeing you again bro! Hope your day is going well g wonderful, and awesome video as always! 👍

I'm not someone who plays MK a lot, but as someone who played a lot of MK Wii with my siblings as a kid, I feel like the cars at the end of Coconut Mall weren't tricky bc they're slow, but bc they have such a massive hotbox, especially in comparison to how wide the track is

nah man we arent taking that moonview slander ("Okay music" ???). We have very different ideas of a good or bad hazard lol. goomba gotta be S tier with the risk reward of shroomba tech (missing the shell throw usually means you run into the goomba)

Lets goo, bean uploaded, time to stop everything im doing

I've played MKWii since 2010 and have never been online

The zapper is definitely the best hazard. It is S.

This is the one of the videos of all time

I’ve not played Mario kart wii much I’m excited to see this cause it’ll most likely be entertaining Also amazing music at 0:22

They said it couldn't be done. Beanzard said it just hasn't been done

The worst hazard in the entire game are ALL OF THE WALLS

When's the battle mode hazards ranking coming out? Who could forget such classics as, giant thwomp hole, and huge chain chomp ball?

It was cool seeing you in the Yoshi kart stream a while back!

Ok good. For a second there I thought he was just going to show us all the hazards and not tell us if they were in ascending or descending order

Where’s the bomb car, you forgot the main reason I like that track

As a statistician this distribution makes me very happy.

I really like how this tier list is arranged in order of how badly the hazards will ruin your day. A lesser man would let personal biases and frustrations get in the way but you respect the craft

You forgot the deadliest hazard of all... gravity.

The bats on dry dry ruins are 100000% more annoying that the Wario Goldmine ones - those things have bumped me off on the final ramp an unfathomable amount of times

all of your videos are so soothing! wonderful gameplay.

Moon view highway is my favorite course in the game man!!!!一体何！

“2 tracks come to mind when i think of them, GCN Mario Circuit, and Wii Mario Circuit!” …*Me thinking about ds peach gardens when theyre most effective cause they’re off the chain-

Great video! I'm really loving the tier list videos. I'd consider the bats to be a C tier hazard due to it being possible to (sort of) weasle your way past on the right side of the entrance to the mine. If you know where the bats usually go, it shouldn't be too bad.

Moon view highway soundtrack slander will NOT be tolerated

The crabs, all together on the track, are a huge pain and definitely deserve their high rank!

Cataqaucks Are Cute ☺️

Bro forgot about the roaming chomps on peach gardens

Ngl watching your videos make me want to get back into Mario kart

Some of them are big, some of them are small, some of them are. Love this vid ngl

"You can just barely not make it past the thwomp" Me when I turn slightly to the right and then left:

I formally challenge you to a 16 track 1v1 bit bike only anything goes

I'm thinking the boxes in TF have magic powder or something so when they get squeezed they turn into item boxes. The ones of DSDS are prop supply crates. Mario kart lore is funny.

you gotta do all the positive road things next. like speed boosts, item boxes, etc

10:35 I have. It’s the little guys. Any little guy is my favorite

Another difference between the car and the truck is that you can do tricks on the top of the trucks.

The oil spill is s+ tier be fr

Why am I getting the most random ranking videos lately. Hey I ain't complaining

22:14 I think that those would be considered lava bombs. (actual term)