This turned out much more different than I expected.

“I don’t have to find myself... I am myself”

i think this might be my favorite art video of yours to date!! also loved that you showed the ENTIRE process (including repainting lol) 💕💕

PLEASE MAKE IT A PRINT, THE PAINTING SO FUCKING COOL

Anja: "I haven't done this is so long and it is so fun!!" *pterodactyl mode activated*

what i specially admire about this painting is how u used this color scheme to do lights and shadows. im such a perfectionist and realism artist that idk how to be free and free/paint like you

The painting came out so beautiful and the meaning behind it I’m crying a little

Complaining and screaming about that factory and painting your emotions is the best mood ever

No one: Anja: repaints the figure 37401473 times 😂

it makes me really happy to see you being yourself and doing colorful makeup and wardrobe again

This is so deep ..at a point in my life.. i had exactly same thought process..endless questions..emerging and indulging from choas and ending up making me doubt about myself . But at the end ..at this point all i know is if you are breathing ..that means you have life , a hope ..a soul with potential to expirence your best life while reaching toward that potential. Life is what you make it . ❤ just breath and love .💫

I admire the effort she put in these videos so much, not only in the BEAUTIFUL painting that she made, but in the super cool aesthetic editing and scripting of the whole video!!! Its clear how much love goes into everything she does

The factory making a lot of sound Anja: Painting but the ting is silent

4:08 I'm always obsessed with her eyes...

The fact that a blob of paint put together can create such an incredible image is crazyyyyyy

"i'm coming to terms with the fact that I innately desire good things and I don' t have to be at war with my inner desires." what a beautiful way to end the video! Loove the piece

I’ve never heard someone articulate the reality of growing up religious like that before. So accurate it hurts. Thank u for sharing :’)

This is amazing!!! Makes me want to start painting!

Omg you're so talented. I wish. Maybe I should try harder.

I love that you included your ideas and then restarts, it makes me feel so much better about not always knowing what to create or where to go with it :) I love your videos sm🖤

Hey I just wanna say I think that your lil splurge on spirituality and religion and being at war with yourself was spot on. I’ve felt the same way and realized the same things and to hear other people talk about it is so amazing❤️ Its the most empowering thing when you realize all you have ever needed was always within yourself

Someone tell me why is was uploaded yesterday and then it turn private? Uploading issues? No prob, just curious 🌚

your words " I don't need to fined my self Hello!! there is nothing to fined I'm my self ! " really makes the peace swim inside me. I think my problems just solved after I heart it. I love you and thank you.

It is usually very hard for me to find art pieces that I like, but I would pay a little fortune for this painting.. it looks absolutely stunning 🌟

She radiates positivity!!✨

You‘re literally gonna be one of the artists future students will read about in their art classes 😮

I love love love this. The monologue at the end is literally everything I’ve been realizing lately🥺

I'm sorry, but "does the sun have gravity?" Killed me

I love how innocent and emotional and pure you are. So am I. And therefore I have a fear that i will be alone forever. Because nobody can handle my pure emotions and others only want to have fun looking at me and my art from a big distance

the sun definitely has gravity, otherwise we wouldn't exist

Anja screaming at the factory really appeals to my inner anti capitalist 😌

EVERYTHING about this video is amazing. The painting, the editing, I just really love your style and all your content. Wishing you all the best on your journey!

Ok the last voice over is so relatable. I grew up the same way.

notice the no dislikes there shouldn’t be because art shouldn’t be judged it’s all amazing

This entire time. I've held you to the like role model platform in my mind, thinking your much older than me... but I'm 18... you are an amazing woman. Well, no matter how much older someone is, they can still be a role model!! Much love Anja!

this is so so stunning wow i literally almost cried when you were talking about it it’s so so beautiful you’re so talented aaaaa

her blue eyes and the green eyeshadow looked so good

Ahhh I love this and the message behind it so much💛✨

Wait... you painted that when you were 10?? I'm impressed! And then 10 years later you painted something 10 times cooler, it's honestly out of this world. You could totally start selling or displaying your art in exhibitions, I'm sure you'd have a lot of success :)

That description of the art teacher covers every art teacher I've had since middle school.

this inspired me to paint whatever the heck i want without it being perfect, thank you :) and i love the piece would totally love to have it in print form

~I'm ready to be at peace w myself~🥺 Okay anja, feel u

Not gonna lie this made me tear up a little! Thank you for having the courage to be vulnerable and honest and sharing your art and your thoughts around it, it doeas really mean a lot 💗lots of love from Berlin

im just sitting here in awe of your talent wow

That is one of the most beautiful paintings I think I have ever seen. Absolutely in love with it

Oh my goodness your final segment about spirituality and philosophy and good vs. evil is exactly what I have been coming to terms with myself! A lot of what you said sounded like what I was taught growing up. I grew up in evangelical Christianity and the subliminal messages that I am currently realizing and allowing myself to unlearn also had so much to do with villainizing society and the 'secular' world and my 'flesh.' I also was literally talking to my friend about all this today! She also grew up in evangelical Christianity and had similar experiences. So much of it is so spiritually dangerous and damaging. I feel like we are so lucky to be realizing all this so young. I'm about your age and I wish I knew you lol because I feel like we would have a lot of cool things to talk about :) Also, the painting... marvelous.

Gorl, the gravity from the sun is why the earth goes round and round it. Luv u!! And I love hearing your thought process as you work through this piece!! Nice work!!

I LOVED this. You're amazing.

This is spectacular. You are such a profound artist and human being. Thank you for making this

Her blue eyes are amazing

Your reflections in the last few minutes were GOLD....thankyou, i think you helped alot of people with that spill. I'd buy your painting in a heartbeat if i saw it in a gallery...it's incredible 💙

the little woods are called "keys" that help the canvas stretch more when you put them in the corners of the frame HAHAHHAHAHA I like how she just toss it, I do that as well

I still love to listen to you singing again ... :) This is where culture lives ..when people .. live in a shrine. . California ....

The finished painting actually brought me to tears. Even if I didn't know your thoughts behind it, there is magnificent and humbling beauty in it.

4:13 OMFG YOUR EYES T-T THEY ARE SOOOO BEAUTIFULLL

That green makeup look is amazing!! Your hair so cool!!!

love it before the video even started😔❤🤲🏼

I love your style so much. It blows my mind how you pull so much of this from your own imagination like if I were to paint something like this i would need reference photos for every part of it. You are AMAZING. Love you

Wow! This was amazing...thank you! I can really identify with several aspects of your story, having grown up in a religious southern Baptist family, having been at war with myself for as long as I can remember, etc. I used to paint and because of a terrible addiction to prescription drugs back in like 2005, really just sort of lost my way and all the different ways that I relate to the world around me. I’ve been a musician/artist at heart for as long as I can remember and now, at 43, I’m finally starting to remember just how much of a positive force art was in my life and how badly I need and want to start creating again. I found Buddhism in my 20’s, which really helped to deprogram from the mess my parents made...and I got sober about 10 years ago, so the tools are definitely there. I just need to pick them up again. Thanks again!

Wait what I’ve already watched this yesterday

Her: I think that gesso is just white paint Me: how dare you say that gesso is not just paint don't say that that's illegal

being unable to sleep at 5am has its perks - being early to Anjas video edit: this is the most beautiful thing. Im literally tearing up. Also thid inspired me so much. The colour palette is so beautiful!

Phenomenal it’s crazy how just letting yourself feel and and being honest with yourself can lead to such a beautiful piece truly grateful to have witnessed this

I highly recommend ‘a new earth’ by ekhart tolle, I feel like your reflections relate a lot to the things he discusses :)

I really liked what she had to say at the end And, I'm just gonna throw this in here.....I can't ever decide.... if I want to put something funny, or thoughtful in these comments...ya know? I call it "Anja Brain" because how she rants off on something, that's how I feel... when it comes to this....huge decision. I don't know if it happens to anybody else, I'm sure ot does, but it happens to me a lot. Bye!

you blow my mind every time. I loved what the painting represents. It's such a universal feeling, being at war with yourself, the inner you, your past self. just so so good.

I want to say; I really love how that piece turned out. And I love that talk at the end. Im glad you want/have made the decision to make peace with yourself. Ive been in war with myself too for the most of my life so far. And the decision to choose love over and over again, also for myself, changed me so much. Aaaaand I really enjoy your sense of humour. Im peeing my pants everytime!!! Thank you for being you.

Wasn’t the video uploaded yesterday then taken down?

Its reuploaded isnt it?😂 Also im quite early :) Also anja gives me billie vibes like really strong billie vibes i love them both 💕

your ending monologue is so profound and emotionally aligned with how i often feel growing up with a similar background T__T feeling like i was two sides of the same coin representing good and bad, then eventually unlearned the bad and now have grown to realize that that other side of me was just my fears and not necessarily evil. like a defense mechanism of a sort? idk. like there was me who loves love and the me who is afraid to love because love = trust = vulnerability and being vulnerable = scary?? does that make sense. anyway, love you, i'm sorry about the noisy factory disrupting your process but at the same time became an outlet for your rage

The real ones have already watched this video before :)

Watching this vid after my art class : 🗿👌🏽 Yeeeeey I know what I'll do in 2031 !!

The little things you throw away in the beginning have an important purpose. They are for stretching the canvas. You insert them on the backside in the corners; 2 in each corner. After that your canvas should have more tension. Also streching the canvas before painting is better when you think of the future of your painting, if you dont´t do it your painting is more likely to become cracks or other damages and the more important reason is that the canvas loses his natural tension over the years, but this is mainly prevented by stretching the painting. I hope this all makes sence. And btw great painting^^

I LOVE YOUR ART VIDEOS!! Always inspires me to paint again

wasnt this uploaded yesterday?

the fact that she can draw/paint her ass off is freaking bomb! like not one time has her work looked mediocre even when she tries to say there's way better. That painting was beautiful

You are so wise and have nailed the metaphorical nail on the head with what a lot of people struggle with. To be 19 and understanding this, let alone articulating this is impressive and beautiful to see. Thanks for sharing!

I looove the colours!! Amazing!!!

This painting is so beautiful. I loved the style of this video and I really appreciate you being so vulnerable about the emotions behind this piece. I’ve been a subscriber for awhile now and I genuinely love your personality but I feel like this is the first time I’m seeing you and hearing you for who you really are. And I love that, we need more of it on these platforms.

Beautiful and inspiring! Love your work.

this for real is my absolute favorite painting video of yours!!! Love love love the painting and the process and the meaning... so beautiful 💖💖

Absolutely love the editing in this!!! All the cuts with paint mixing and scraping were such cool aesthetic!!

The painting turned out amazing and your voice over in the end was beautiful. Thanks for sharing your work and story with us, it was a really wholesome experience.

the painting and your explanation of it towards the end of the video make me want to cry because of how deeply i can relate to it (esp the stuff about religion). this is one of my favorite paintings you've ever made :))). "i don't have to find myself, i am myself" - Anja 2021

Anja I honestly love you so much. Beautiful painting, so talented. An inspiration! Keep doing you ❤️

This video was sooo great, wow! I love how the painting turned out; I loved seeing the process, both physically painting and correcting, and coming up with ideas and choosing which ones to portray in the final piece; I loved seeing your enthusiasm at painting for the first time in a while, and your anger at the factory, lol. This just seemed like a good portayal of the full experience that is painting a piece, nothing hidden or cut out in the creative process. Thank you for posting this, it was super enjoyable and interesting to watch :D

Idk maybe the symbol of squishing your face could stand for fighting the old body image you had drawing the original painting this one is inspired by. And by the way: I love it! The colours are amazing, the image, the pose, really good. And just how you manage to paint yourself looking like you. I am jealous

1:44 not sure if someone has already said this, but they're canvas keys! you insert them into the little slots in the corners of the back of the canvas, to strengthen the canvas in the case that it starts to sag :) i didn't know what they were for a long time either until my art teacher mentioned them. you're super talented!

your videos and your paintings are so inspiring! thank you for sharing this light inside of you♥

I just love this video so much ! Seeing you get excited with your beautiful colorful makeup, then you get excited when painting and the final explanation of your painting, I love it so much ! You, your art and this video are just wonderful ! :D thank you !!

Please paint more regularly you are incredibly talented!! 🥺♥️♥️♥️

Wow Anja this is amazing! I loved watching your creative process and your outro commentary is beautiful!

This video was really good to watch, I loved seeing the painting come to fruition it is so beautiful. It is also really nice to hear the contemplation around what it means to you.

Great Video! Loved seeing the whole process and learning the backstory behind this stunning painting. I really loved and enjoyed this video. Thank you so much and love from Germany.

ANJA THIS IS AMAZING everything about this video is MUAH (chefs kiss) love you and your art💓 never stop growing

this was so lovely to watch

This is stunning. I’m blown away by this piece. One of my favorites that you’ve done

I fell in love with this painting and every step of its repainting like it made me relieve so much that now I finally think that repainting a painting is OKAY!! It was so exhausting to see that everyone is doing awesome on canvas and I am just struggling to take the brush in my hand again to finish my painting now I see that it is okay to restart and change directions whenever I want to. I love how you expressed yourself through the painting. And I love the punk vibe of color mixing scenes I definitely fell in love with it! ♥️ Thank you for this wonderful art video and the inspiration through your artistic side, Anja! Lots of love ♥️

This art work is so beautiful! I love the colors. Plus the deep thoughts in the end were so inspiring. I love this video

The evolution of her art and style is so beautiful