tae = to [pronounced as tay] wae = with [pronounced as way] whit = what [pronounced as wit] maw = mum [pronounced as m-aww] ye = you [pronounced yeah.. sorta] aye = yeah [pronounced as eye] gan = going [pronounced as spelled] oan = on [pronounced as own] am = i'm [pronounced as spelled] burd/bird = girlfriend [pronounced as spelled] lass(ie) = girl [pronounced as spelled] quine = girl [pronounced as q-wine] canna = can't [pronounced as can with an a at the end] winna = won't [pronounced as win with an a at the end] a = i [pronounced just as a] quid = pound [pronounced as squid with no s] bairns/wains/waens = children [pronounced as bare with an rns at the end, way with an ns at the end, way with an eens at the end] wae = with [pronounced as way] canny = can't [pronounced as can with an aye at the end] winny = [pronounced as win with an aye at the end] yis = youse/'y"all' [pronounced as y-is] o = of [pronounced as spelled] fir/fur = for [pronounced as fur] toon = town [pronounced as spelled] oot = out [pronounced as spelled] bampot = idiot [pronounced as spelled] gas = chat/excited [pronounced as spelled] blutered = drunk as HELL [pronounced as blue-turd] bonnie = pretty [pronounced as spelled] coo = cow [pronounced as spelled] foostie = mouldy [pronounced as foo-stee] greetin = crying [pronounced as gree-tin] gurn = moaning/complaining/crying/sulking [pronounced as spelled] ken = do you know [pronounced as spelled] i ken = i do know [pronounced as spelled] manny = guy [pronounced as spelled] manky/mankit = gross/dirty/filthy [pronounced as man-kee, man-kit]

Any scots here cringing 😂

omg no he didn't call B&Q 'barbeque'!!!!!

“Aye” is pronounced like “eye”. Sorry but was bugging the hell out of me 😂

Further evidence that Scotland is the number one country for patter. Nowhere else in the world compares.

“Yall have KFC” naw we just eat pork pies and drink irn bru ya dafty

90% of us ere is Scottish, mon ay scots

I’m Scottish and I’m absolute crying with laughter at this! 🤣 bravo Alonzo 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Love when hes like "i get it" and then explains something totally different

Being Scottish Iv just realised how hard it is fir people outside of the uk to understand whit we are saying

Best part is him thinking he gets one when he really doesn't 😂

I’m Scottish and I absolutely love this. Scottish tweets are an unprecedented level of savagery; protect them at all costs.

as a Scottish person, iM PISHING MYSELF LAUGHING

im fae scotland i didny realise how hard it was to understand our lingo haha

When he said that quid is fish 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️ boi that’s slang for pounds

"HEY, I GET IT NOW!" *Spends the next few seconds showing us that he clearly doesn't*

as a Scottish person can I just say... thank you

I found it funny when you lost Kash, and you started to count. He came walking around the couch like, "What do you want, I didn't do anything." lol

Sudocrem is awesome. It's like the duct tape of antiseptic creams.

I love watching foreigners mispronouncing scottish words!!

Speaking Scottish 101 (for this video) A = I Ae = of Al = I'll Am = I'm Aye = yes Bairn = child Bird = girl Cannae/canny = can't Dae = do Fae/fay = from Gonny = going to Greetin = crying Hawn = hand Ken = know Lassie = girl Ma = My Maw = Mum/Mom Meltit = Melted/high/drunk Nae = no/none Naw = no No = not Nut = head Oot = out Pal = friend Quid = pounds Ragen = raging/angry Tae/tay = to Tidy = attractive Wae/way = with Wains = children Wan = one Wanty = want to Wee = little Wit = what Ye/yer = you/your In summary, most words end in 'ae' for no logical reason, and insults are also used as friendly names or greetings. So aye, there yees go :)

B&Q DOES NOT MEAN BARBEQUE LMAOOOO

You need a Scottish person to read these with you and explain them

Ok this is fucking hilarious watching him tryna speak Scottish is to funny I wanted to correct him but I couldn’t we really do have the best banter Proud to be Scottish 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I lost it when he read B&Q as barbecue 😂

If you read these out in an over the top Scottish accent they actually start to make sense.

B&Q to him is ‘ barbecue ‘..... ITS A BLUMIN GARDEN SHOP!!! 😂

MAN CALLED B&Q BBQ, AM DYING

Basically, if you read Scots tweets in a Scottish accent you will understand completely.

Im from scotland and speak like this and him trying to speak scottish slang is too much😂😂

Love it when he gets dead excited thinking he’s cracked it and he’s still wrong😂bless ya hen nvm

When he called Cash and he came out all scared. 😫😫😫😫😭😭😭😭 God bless him!!!

I lost my shit Kash came around the corner like he got in trouble. I wish my dog listened that well.

*_Dear Alonzo,_* *_PLEASE do a video where you_* *_tweet Gordon Ramsay a picture_* *_of his own food, and_* *_when he roasts it you tweet him_* *_back saying it was his_* *_own food._*

I love the Scots. 😍😂 they have the best insults. 😂

Patter world rankings: 1) Scotland 2) Australia 9999999) England

Being one of the Scottish viewers on this video I'm sitting here reading the tweets and laughing so hard but he's barely reacted due to the Scottish slang haha

WHEN HE THINKS A LASSIE IS A DOG! I DIED

This waes actual so funny, Americans reacting tae us scottish folk 😂 mon the scots! 😂

My Scottish aunt would cry at how you try to say these tweets 😂😭 bless your heart!

He said BBQ instead of B&Q OMG aha

I died when he thought lassie was a dog

The vodka thing wasn't that a guy trying to comfort him cause it looked like he was crying

Quid is slang for pound. It's like saying buck instead of dollar

The way he say avicii tho

“How can you put 50 into 6.30? That don’t make any sense!” Welllll the tweet *was* about failing a math exam 🤯

Bird: slang word for woman, NOT derogatory

I’m from Scotland and I’m laughing so much I have tears streaming down my face hahaha this is amazing thank you so much 😂😂😂😂 subscribed to you you’re so funny!

I'm not even from Scotland, from England, but this was hilarious 😂 never really thought about how hard some of the Scottish slang would be to understand outside of the UK 😂😂

Am Scottish and I’m howling at the fact your pronunciation is sooooo bad hahaha I love you😂😂😂😂😂

I've got a Scottish dad and I could hear his accent in the back of my mind reading every one of these tweets

Sudocrem is diaper rash repellent 😂😂😂 are you sure you want some

When he pronounced 'B&Q' as 'barbecue'😂😂

Funnier than the tweets is Alonzo thinking he’s understood them 😂😂😂 Still water- as in non-sparkling 😂😂

The funniest part is actually where he thinks “maw” means room mate hahahaaha got to love Americans

13:48 WHOOOSSHHHH

I lost it when he read B&Q as barbecue

that sudocreme one fucked me up!!! so funny cause its so true!!! lassie and burds means girl

I've watched this a few times and I'm rewatching it while sitting in class and trying so hard not to laugh

Ahahhaha the way he said ootside man am fkn creasing if ye wanty sounds Scottish USE A DICTIONARY

Funny watching Americans reacting to us Scots😂🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

GET A SCOTTISH DICTIONARY!!!!

Honestly he sounds like a Southerner reading these 😂😂

I’m from Scotland and this was comedy gold. Had me in tears. Good effort!

I-r-n bru?? All Scottish people watching: *dies*

Poor Kash coming from behind the couch with his tail between his legs :(

Hahah us from Scotland (Glasgow) are gutting themself 😂😂

"What is the quid perfume are y'all spraying fish on your face?" Love that.

Did he say barbecue when it said b&q omg I can’t 😂

Next time get a Scot to translate... please because I feel you'll be shocked further with our lingo.

🤦🏻‍♀️ come tae Scotland and get yerself a translator

Ootside means outside but its how they say it, Scottish people tweet how they talk

Im scottish and this is hilarious, his accent :-D i love it

as someone scottish , IRN BRU is a drink . Quid is slang for money . Botanical gardens is a garden center in scotland , MA wee means my little. sudocream is some cream that even scottish mother tells you to put on something to fix your problems . ken is know. scottish people drink and swear a lot. were similar to australians in a lot of ways.ins are children. bird means girl. you can tell I'm from scotland because I'm ginger I'm no a fake . thanks me later

As a Scottish person myself, I found this hilarious!😂

I don't think I've laughed this hard in a while 😂😂😂

This is hard to watch being from Scotland...

you should react to Scottish tweets read out by a Glasweigen because you will understand it better.

I can't sleep so this is how I'm spending my night. I'm in tears watching this. Love all of your videos. #GetaDictionary

I have watched this video so many times and it still gets me every time lol please make a part 2

"Oh they have KFC over there" 😯 I remember one of you Americans asking if we had TVs and phones in Scotland.... I said "we literally fuckin invented them hen"

diny wanty -didnt want to maw - mum/mom oot -out polis -police lassies -girl/woman burd -girl/woman wea -with aye - yeah canny -cant ma -my I'm British and I fully understood every one 😂😂 I just find it funny when Americans have no idea!

I actually died when he called BNQ "barbeque" I love Americans 😂😂😂

😂😂😂😂😂 I think your attempt at pronouncing half of our banter is funnier than the actual tweets 😂😂😂😂😂 we so need more of these videos

christ as a scot this is painful. its fine though its not your fault mate. americans haven't had a hundred years of scottish culture in your media intake like we have with your culture so you can't be expected to know what we're talking about immediately.

you misunderstood the vodka in the eyes one! what he's saying is some dude patted him on the back because he thought he was crying to cascada and was like "i know" as if he too cries to cascada.

I love this guy! My ex husband is Scottish and the funniest thing is watching a non English speaking person trying to understand him and my ex is deaf in one ear and watching him trying to understand a person trying to speak English to him is hilarious 😂

I HAVE BEEN LOOKIN FOR THESEEE

Scots is a real language descendant from Middle English just as Modern English is. I love the Scottish sense of humor.

glad to see he is doing well

WHEN HE REAN IRN BRU AND “I.R.N” AND B&Q AS “BBQ” OMG 😂😂😂

Another great video 👏🏾♥️

*You don't know who Avicii is? He's a recently retired electronic music producer / EDM DJ. It's pronounced, "Uh-Veet-Chee."*

It's nae a barbecue it's a shop B&Q ya bampot

Soooooooooooooo Loving this channel

HAHAHA DIED WHEN HE SAID BBQ WHEN IT SAID B&Q. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

"Ma wee brother" - "I hope that doesn't mean mayweather". Ffs man 😂

This is both painful to listen to and absolute hilarious I actual cannae breathe 'cause hes pure "I'm geting it" aye no youre no pal but youre fun anyways. For the record though "aye" is pronounced like "I" and it means "yes"

OMG you crack me up SOOOOOOOOO funny buddy and you calling Kash baha that's exactly the way I count with my dogs and I count the same with my boys lmao and been telling everyone to watch your videos because I have depression and anxiety from my illness and your videos always cheer me up and make me laugh so because of your videos makes my life better just thought I would tell you so thank you keep posting them

when you understand all the tweets and start correcting you aloud and then realise you canny hear me lol