If only Hollywood could make movies with strong, all-powerful female leads.

Your first mistake was assuming Netflix has quality control.

You know, when we said we wanted "original movies," we didn't just mean "legally-distinct new intellectual property."

"...Anthony Hopkins. I'm glad he's getting work." Biggest laugh of the video!

This could be called: Star Wars A No Hope.

The main character should have been the Hopkins droid. How about this . . An old slave droid wants to free other slaves, but is programmed to never kill. The slave droid gathers a band of humans and other aliens to take down the Empire. The droid's rag-tag band of rebels do the fighting while the droid uses his intelligence to aid them, through non-violence, in their fight. Climax: Through character development, during the droid's contact with other races, the droid is able to break its programming and deal the final death-stroke to the main bad guy. The mystery to how programming can be automatically rewritten is a mystery left for the sequel movie.

I love it when a girl boss blocks the assault of powerful yet accommodating stuntmen with her wee, spindly arms, only to then tell the large group of dopey male onlookers that it's time to fight. Refreshing!

The whole plot of the movie was frustrating. In an early scene, the village leader dude warns his people not to sell their excess crop to the Rebels. Then, 10 minutes later, he's lying to the Empire guy in order to protect the Rebels, thus angering him and causing his village to lose all their crops. Why wouldn't he just have sold his excess grain at the triple market price he was offered?

Watched this last night with my wife. She kept nudging me asking if I was falling asleep. I think my snore-snort NO betrayed me.

Once again, your review is a couple of orders of magnitude more entertaining than its subject, and far less time-consuming.😂

Chato: “Just when I thought I was out… They pull me back in.”

Wow, Paul's birthing metaphor at the top of the video is a black-belt achievement in invective. If I was Zack Snyder or a Netflix executive, I wouldn't even be offended or embarrassed. I'd be in awe, and even kind of proud to have been punched out so expertly!

It's Seven Samurai that doesn't quite work. I think Zack is a visual genius but he needs a strong hand to reign him in. Watch Bugs Life instead.

I have a billion-dollar idea! As a former television executive, your opinion is needed. Here it is... book on CD... Doctor Seuss as read by Christopher Walken! Tell me you don't want to hear his weird cadence on "Green Eggs and ham" or "The Cat in the Hat"? I just can't get through to his representation!

It ended for me when the girl boss and her pet male went into the gay bar and announced for all to hear, that she was looking for the most wanted man in the universe.

Zach Snyder can only make a good movie when it is already written and illustrated for him even then his batting average isn’t great. Now that the Snyder Cut fever dream has passed can we finally admit that Snyder is a decent music video director that got promoted way above his ability.

Wait until you see ol Grand Muff's version: Rebel Poon. 😉

“ I have to give him credit for not being incoherent“ is one of the best sentences I’ve ever heard. 🤣 Thanks for the review! Have a merry Christmas and happy holidays! 🙏🎄⛄️🎶🦌✨

Say it’s only a rebel moon Say it’s only an angry sea But I wish it were make-believe Not a Netflix show to see…

The girl boss who is the key to everything....

I knew nothing more about Rebel Moon than its title. Thanks for your review; now I know there is nothing more to it than its title.

A small part if me thinks this was Hollywood letting Snyder fail while also going "Oh, you thought Disney Star Wars was bad? Behold what might have been you grubby little knuckle draggers!" But that'd mean Hollywood had a coherent thought in a creative direction...

“Unfortunate… but predictable.” - Brainiac

Your commentaries are in line with my opinions very often. But more importantly, I find your commentaries very insightful and entertaining.

I was almost thrilled with this movie. I have long thought "Battle Beyond the Stars" needed a remake, and if we could get a lot of scenes reusing those old MGM back lot western towns, even better. Those fight scenes were just extra believable and the soldiers were not at all cringe worthy in their over the top villain behavior. I especially liked how the movie jumped into other movies to collect the cast of heroes, and it was good to see the sets from gladiator again. I find it especially refreshing that the films female positive tone was set in the early scenes when space itself gives birth to a space craft through an energy va-jay-jay...just excellent choice of visuals so the viewer knows where the movie stands... Also, Chatp, I thought you were taking a holiday break, but finding a video was a pleasant Christmas surprise.

A New Hope turned out so well, especially in relationships, is because of Marcia Lucas in the editing room.

Pew pew pewing! 😂 Thanks for a MUCH needed smile.

Merry Christmas and Welcome alone. The show may be awful but we can be grateful it give us another Chato video this year, so it was not a complete worthless show.

I actually like when the "Tarzanudo" guy tamed the Griffin. Tarzanudo: Hispanic colloquialism of someone or something related too or similar to the fictional character of Tarzan .

Yay, that’s novel. A strong Waman in a sci-fi film!

Merry Chistmas Paul. All the best to you and yours. Onward and upward in 2024.

Thanks for your Vids this year. Have a great Christmas and a brilliant 2024. Cheers from Brunei... Be Seeyin' ya...

Cant wait to watch the movie, now! Thanks for the preview. Happy Krissmiss!

I liked the part where the girl-boss beat up all the 6’4” 240lb henchmen.

this was cathartic to watch. Oh. My. God. THANK YOU

as soon as hunam said he was an opportunist he gave away that he was going to be the traitor

It's hilarious that Snyder is literally doing the same ultra slo mo shots as he did 15 years ago haha, like the EXACT same shots

Paul is one funny guy. I love his at times brutal dissection of the poor fare dished up to we common folk. He genuinely has me in stitches with his takedowns of the trash the studio's vomit up expecting the audience to show up.

They needed to focus more on the harvesting of the wheat and why it's so important to a spacefaring well funded military with faster-than-light travel.

Do they not have people who can review scripts and give basic advice that any basic screenwriting student would be able to give? Or maybe people to look at the film in early stages before it's released?

Look at it this way, Zack gave us a Christmas Eve Chato review.😉Chris Gore said it was very similar to "Battle Beyond the Stars," and it certainly looks that way from the premise. Enjoy your break!

Thanks for this Christmas gift. I will not spend money on a Netflix subscription since all they produce is crap. My nightly dreams are far entertaining that anything movie makers are making today.

Wow, big critiques for this one Chato! Thanks as always for sharing, and sorry for being invoked by a bad movie!

Always good when you show up in my feed Chato. Thanks for taking a break from your break. Cool shirt man.

Thanks for drawing yourself from the holiday shadows for another video, I enjoy getting your take on things. Merry Christmas Paul.

It sounds like they're speedrunning Star Wars and stumbling every step of the way.

Mom, can we go watch The Force Awakens? No dear, we have The Force Awakens at home. The Force Awakens at home:

Finally a commentator saw the Seven Samurai reference. I noted only one online review and a KZfaq commentator who mentioned Magnificent Seven.

"I am going back on my break, " Ross Chato Geller

Merry Christmas Paul. Thanks for the insights and entertainment.

Agreed. This is so bad, I'm shocked Disney didn't release it as a Star Wars movie.

Thanks for the warning and Merry Christmas!

A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU CHATO!!

I think the empty meaningless relationships in Hollywood's movies show it's creators also have empty meaningless relationships in their own lives. They have no idea what their audiences value.

Holy crap, Paul. Scathing revview. LOL Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

This is the second nicest review of 5 that I've seen so far, lol. I'm equal parts surprised and not at all surprised how this turned out

Compelling and dramatic review of the film - I haven't enjoyed a Zack Snyder film since 2006's "300" - mostly because I'm a sucker for classic Greece history, as an huge Aristotle, Plato, and Homer fan. I shan't be watching this film, but I welcome your entertaining overview of it! Merry Christmas from windy old England!

The plot fried my brain with an aneurism so I was actually able to enjoy the mindless action in an equally mindless state.

The galaxy-wide soap embargo will be clearly explained in an upcoming graphic novel.

This sounds like a really weird live action remake of A Bug’s Life 🫤

You know, I remember a Canadian of Jewish-Hungarian origins that swore he was taking a break. Glad it wasn't you.

Merry Sanemas! And a happy new peace of mind!

An informative and hilarious review. Pure gold.

Can't believe there is people out there still hoping to watch something good made by Snyder.

How the scene where a guy took out a dreadnought with a stabby thing? WWII-era capital ships had better safeguards and fail-safes than this supposedly futuristic warship.

I loved it and can't wait for part 2.

Woke 7 Samurai in space as a slow mo montage.

The giant planet with the angled rings totally defies physics. It may have been put there for aesthetics, but even so, it failed. First, a moon that close to its parent planet would be inside the Roche limit, meaning the gravity on the closest part of the moon would differ from the far side, and it would be torn apart. Two, the rings would cast a shadow on the ringed world. Three, all moons are tidally locked to their parent, meaning the ringed planet would remain in the same position in the sky, and the moon's day would be as long as it takes to orbit the world. This close, a day would be about eight hours. That's four of daylight, four of night. Last, the moon that close to its parent planet would orbit the world equatorially, meaning the rings would only be visible as a thin line. Oh, the planets radiation field would likely be lethal as well for something that close. The artwork was obviously done by someone who had never seen a NASA picture of Saturn. All they had to do was find an amateur astronomer to fix the celestial mechanics. Obviously a $200,000,000 budget was too small for a science adviser. I was hoping this would replace Star Wars but sadly it didn't. Not nearly as bad as the critics are shouting, I'm still looking forward to Part 2.

Hahahaha this guy is hilarious! How come the algorithm did not recommend him before?

"looks more like computer screen saver" , more accurately computer screen saver from early 2000s

Have a Merry Christmas, Chato.

Appreciate your honesty Chato.

Although no one brings it up. In the beginning we are introduced to a Dreadnought using faster than light travel which us a literal space vagina.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BUD!

Happy Xmas Chato!

Merry Christmas Paul!

🤣👍Merry christmas!

I this just showed up as a Netflix C grade, low budget Sci fi it STILL would be crap! They hyped this so hard it's laughable 😂

Netflix and thinking? Since when did those two things go together? One time while working on Netflix movie, while in the van on the way back from location, a very experienced crewmember I was with said, "Netflix knows about marketing, but they don't know about filmmaking."

Loved the thumbnail🤣!

In another life Zack would have been a great muralist for those 70s good times vans.

Chato once again watching the newest trash from Hollywood and then warning us so we don't have to. Thanks Chato!

0:42 Hering Chato absolutely rip on something that deserved it for Christmas eve. "I'll unwrap my present now, thank you."

We got Chato on The holly day! Rebel Moon accent that at least 😂😂

Lol. I just subscribed to the big N. Mostly this decision was based on the glowing reviews of One Piece and Blue Eyed Samurai. Thank you Paul for saving me two plus hours of my life watching dog shit dry in the sun 🙏

The people claiming this movie is Starwars for adults have only seen Disney Starwars.

Merry Christmas!

*_"Rebel Moon - A steaming pile of C**P."_* Well, color me SHOCKED...🙄 {MERRY CHRISTMAS, Paul!}

Sofia Boutella litterally doing the SAME 60%angry/40%annoyed/100%stoic boss-girl face for 2 hours straight...0 emotional range...I dont care if it's her inability to act or was demanded by the script...not a good character anyway...

Yep,, very well put. We have some original ideas, and some good ideas. It's just a shame that the good ideas aren't original, and the original ones aren't good. The whole is just déja vu crap! Merry Xmas.

This movie had the worst males; Do you want to know more? Read the 20 steps 1. A leader who has extra to sell, lies (outed out by his own harvist guy*traitor *) loses his life. 2. Soldiers who try to rape a loud screaming girl, can't stop another smaller girl who has the same skills, all but the smallest soldier was bad. 3. Male sounding robot helps then runs off after. 4. Big strong male villagers don't hear or come to help in quiet village homes separated by a few meters, as girl screaming for help, they then come to see what's happened with no weapons and most are behind the woman after it's over. 6.they intrust the woman (hero?) who was going to leave the village to their fate and the traitor to save the village. (hero?) gives Po's from star wars back story flash back with a 5 sec male lover who dies, tells this to traitor. 6. Farmer traitor is weaker than a woman half his size (hero?) and can't defend himself from another man err Alien a little bigger in a bar. But she kills male aliens buddies after disarming alien easily 🙄 7. New man TD (taxi driver *total recall*) who was shown receiving money from the bounty hunters who where taking away the guy they needed to talk too😂😂😂 offers to take them every where for free out of nowhere. Oh right he pointed a gun her way, then shot dead the alien who she beat up stood up to shoot her better because on the ground he couldn't shoot her right next to him😂😂😂😂. Why? plot armour. 8. TD picks up A. W. animal whisper who owes money (don't know if it's alot but I guess it is) and wins his freedom due to a bet of the boss man of this stage, who later is killed by the beast tamed by AW😅 ooops . 10. TASW Token Asian sword woman joins after killing her boss creature who was only defending her land after her planet was poisoned by them which killed her eggs. Ummm (hero?) also TD's pick. 11. Stinky old hero man (token black) for (gladiator) picked up on gladiator planet. 12. Newer black hero picked up, you know there can be only one token 😂 and side kicks 13. Lots of talking, Bader guys killing civilizations with bombs 14. Betrayed by take a wild guess but the AW& who he stopped to pick up isn't on his side, huh? 15. They villains give the traitor a gun to kill the (hero?) and shocking he's betrays them😂 they all get free. 16.bad guys can't make a shot of a big black guy running through their racks climbing a ladder, stands on top of said ladder (not crouching or hiding) but looking at the only accurate gunner of the bad guys. then running to him. 17. Male gunner of ship killed by spear.. Nuff said... Oh wait right he also controls the whole large ship and token to leans on the yoke and it goes in a death dive a very slow death dive into hovering platforms 😂 then the engines fail. I'm not kidding😮. Tofu ships I guess. 18. (Hero?) sliding under the big big big ship (Indian Jones) to get to the main villain makes it and fight scene.. She wins its over. 19 bonus robot looking scene 20. Wait there's more, it's not over, the villain is reborn (DARTH VADOR scene)

Now a days anybody can become a critic but why am I not surprised.

so its A Bugs Life meets the Star Wars Holiday Special?

So the story is a copy of the Magnificent Seven, which is a copy of the Seven Samurai , Zack Synder hoping nobody noticed ?

Ok,we have our new Star Wars christmas special...

I haven't seen it but I find the beginning head scratching the villain is like will give you tools to help cultivate the land better We don't have the supplies to help you We will pay three times the market value you can easily buy more to replace your stock We don't have the supplies to help We can do all this We don't have the supplies to help you Some random villager actually we have more than enough And it keeps going till the villain beats him death For the most part this villain seems pretty reasonable to me

Maybe if they were better farmers they wouldn't need to be taken over. It's for their own good. They need a few good men willing to die to defend their right to be the worst farmers in the galaxy.

truly the first movie to be made by text prompts into Midjourney 6.

No way I will ever watch this movie but I'm fascinated by the censoring of "crap" in the title

Seven minutes saved me two hours.