Gaslighting is abuse.

I’ve definitely shrunk over the years. Long term interactions with narcissistic abuse and thereby gaslighting has created this reality for me. I am a shadow of the joyful and trusting person I use to be. I’m not angry anymore, it’s been too long. I’ve adapted to giving less of myself and am way more interested in my alone time than being with others. I’m working on trusting God to help me. My faith in Christ is why I’m not destroyed

You’re describing my ex-husband. One reason he’s my ex. Everyone who met him saw it. I went to counseling, and he consistently refused to go. I got the strength to get out.

This is one of the most valuable teachings I have ever heard.

Power over another person always seems to be involved in abuse.

You just can’t take a joke… when someone cuts you down and says it’s just a joke

I'm having a panicking attack listening to this... my husband & adult step daughter do this to me all the time...

Nobody else mentions power imbalance dynamics! They minimize and make it sound so easy to ignore slights or critiques from people without power over us but most of us seek therapy for power imbalance dynamics, and this makes it worse since it keeps us stuck in a drama triangle with victim, persecutor, rescuer. Those labels they apply, negative, oversensitive, too much, those are to absolve the abuser of any self responsibility in the equation. Those are the same folks who can't apologize, only offer fauxpologies. You can't heal in the same environments that made you sick. Before you label yourself depressed, first check and make sure you aren't a self reflective person surrounded by gaslighters.

My ex husband used every one of these phrases.

My x said that all the time. I was just trying to talk about my feelings or try to get answers because he was always cheating yet never told the truth until I found it. Then he say I was instigating though proof came to me without me.looking. always saying I was exaggerating when proof was there. He always lied and never could just be honest. It was awful

Thank you for all you do, Dr. Cloud! You have helped me to change my life, & I look forward to continued growth & learning more from you.

You helped me too, to change my life. With God,,, all things are possible.

Your book Boundaries saved my life

This is excellent! I've never been able to understand gaslighting as clearly as I do after listening to your video. TY.

You described my ex-husband exactly! He started this abuse in the wedding night and it continued to escalate. 7 months after the wedding, I came home from work and he had moved out and taken all his stuff. Never even said anything to me. I found out from our counselor. We are now divorced. He said, “God told him to leave.” If He did, it was God protecting me. He claimed to be a righteous, Christian man. He fooled everyone in my family and at Church. I’ve learned a lot in the past 14 months especially why I attracted a narcissist. Thank you for this video! 🙏🏻

Excellent explanation and ways to rid yourself of gaslighting/gaslighters. See the truth, recognize gaslighting.

What if they actually do rewrite history tho and tell what happened to someone else and it is so far from your reality of what happened…and then they proceed to tell that person what you learned from their unrecognizable version of what happened?

Constantly defending the people who’ve hurt me… that’s me!

Thank you so much for this information. I was gaslighted for 22 years and this helps my recovery or rebuilding.

My dad used to lie to me and about me, and then said to my face that he never said that. And then when I started crying he called me crazy. Gave away my cat and my bike (I can go on and on about other things like that). No wonder I got in an abusive relationship with a man with similar behavior. 6 years of freedom, all spent on healing and educating myself. I have hope!

You perfectly described my ex husband. He was genius level. I really didn’t see it until I filed for divorce and his mask fell off completely. He is a genius at triangulating and is super charming and fake. I thought he was mentally deficient and lived in a fantasy world while we were married - I didn’t realize he KNEW what he was doing and that I was the dummy. I lived in a fog of confusion for 10 years, and my anxiety was off the charts. It’s peaceful out here.

Thank you

Leaving a covert narcissist now. I always questioned myself the entire relationship whereas before I was call ed a very confident extroverted person.

Very helpful 💯

Just found your channel what a blessing ❤ thank you for your work.

exactly thankyou been thru it n thank GOD rid of it

This is such great information. This happened with my ex and I wish I had known this so much sooner. However, I’m so blessed to be out of it! 🙏🏻✨

Tgis is the best presentation i have heard on gaslighting thank you so helpful

Was married to one of those. Now divorced, thank God

Wow, you're good at this! I've heard all of those! New subscriber! Thank you! ♥️

"you have sensitive ears", "what did i do again?", "you are too sensitive", "you don't know how to take criticism", "that's because you're traumatized ", etc. he never said sorry nor apologized. He played the victim everytime, etc. My dad and my ex.

We all ❤ bless 🙏💕 up! Thank ü GENTLE KINGD sir

Interesting how I just prayed a week ago about anything left that I haven’t overcome from my childhood to be addressed and set free from… The majority of my childhood was much of the examples you spoke about. And I’m actually amazed how it’s possible that I am not still under the control of my parents and older sister. God is certainly a miracle worker and I’m grateful for you and all that you share here for us to continue to learn, grow and go further in freedom.

He accused me of being on drugs and told me that I didn’t hear what he said. He told me so much before we got married and then said he didn’t say that. It was terrible

Thank you for this video lesson. I learn something valuable from all your videos. I often listen to them more than once. I'm reading the book, People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck. He mentions people with evil intentions who have intense narcissistic tendencies. I was wondering if gaslighting is connected to evil and narcissistic tendencies. Thank you.

Thank you, Dr. Cloud. Everyone needs to hear this cause the gas lighters also need to know what they are doing, too❤praise God we all can change if willing❤

Take your power back and expand your Being large! Narc are oussys and run away

I used to say all the time about my ex-husband, he believed his own lies! He was so adamant about something that was not true. I was constantly frustrated and felt stupid as I was second guessing myself all the time! So happy to be free from that!

A great example of this is the Brian Laundry Gabby Pettito case.

Thankyou!!!!

Thank you so much for this. Very helpful… May God bless you…

So relatable, thank you for making this video :)

Dr Cloud, I look at it as what is true and what is false.

I think people do this and don't realize what they are doing when they do this. Not always but...

Great video. Have a question, my spouse constantly accuses me of "gaslighting" and every other diagnosis you have explained in all of your videos. I'm practicing your concepts and I'm sure I'm guilty of communication errors... however how can one get the other to realize they are now over using such concepts against the other? Example, if I don't like the facts of a conversation and accuse you of gaslighting, that doesn't automatically mean I'm correct on accusation.... but if I say it it must be true, right? How can I humbly "defeat" this one sided view of the other?

Wow, thank you, Dr! However, when considering gaslighting, statements like "you're paranoid" or "you're controlling me" may also stem from a factual perspective. Suppose the individual in question is genuinely paranoid? For instance, I know someone who suffered from a drug-induced schizophrenic episode, and I informed him that "it did not happen," or "you were paranoid at that time." In this case, does it still qualify as gaslighting since he was indeed hearing things during his drug-induced schizophrenic episode? Moreover, when he tells me that "it didn't happen to you! it happened to me," isn't it our duty to tether the person to reality rather than encourage their psychosis?

Like…..” oh so why is he not in jail if it happened”?

Why do I choose unsafe people for my intimate relationships?

Looking for the co dependent kids study. How to deal with them

Solid food is God's word. The Bible is referring to spiritual food and is referring to our faith in Jesus Christ. Jesus is who validates His people. The Bible says, where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom, or liberty depending on the translation. Our identity needs to be in Christ, and He will guide us into all truth, and the truth will set us free! Read the Bible and you will see.

Like the COVID vaccine lol

I have a question..Do the people who are gaslighted, know they are gaslighting you? And what if it is your husband? The hard part is all of the scriptures for wives. My heart is to be fully submitted to God.

How do you know the "gaslighter" isn't right? Maybe the marriage counselor picked up on what is true, and you're the one that's wrong?

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