Stop being loyal to those who don't treat you well 🎯

Get yourself out there, show up, heal, be around uplifting people. Ya’ll got this ladies and gentlemen

Just seeing this ..me leaving after 26 years this was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life...the guilt and loneliness can be overwhelming....I'm crying as I type this

Coming out an eight year relationship where I thought if I just loved him hard enough he would see what a good thing he has but he continued to cheat and lie...walking away is so hard and I pray for strength every day because I deserve better.

*BIG GROUP HUG*everybody!

GODS TIMING THE BEST TIMING! After 23 years in a relationship and 22 years marriage it’s TIME to come out of that HORRIBLE PIT OF A UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!

Who is here in 2021💔🥲 acceptance is the hardest part for me at this moment!

Watching this to heal my broken heart 💔

I was with my ex-husband for 14 years. About 3-4 years ago I started to grieve the loss of my marriage because he was literally living like he was single while I stayed home and took care of the kids. When it was time to go it was easy to walk away and I’m ready to find love again.

I never thght I could leave a 20something year relationship. For 10 of those years I put myself through hell knowing and still forcing a dead situation. It took another heartbreak from someone else for me to finally say ENOUGH ! I was led to church bc I felt I lost myself and taking in the word made me feel whole. Before I left him I made peace with myself and forgave him so that I can move on. 1 year now in my single season and I'm so grateful I didnt jump into another failing relationship. I've never been single since the age of 15, I'm abt to be 40 and I still havent heard a man say he loves me and i knew and felt that he did. I've been going half all my life and now I'm so selfish with myself. I've listened to motivational speakers and read self help books and it helps. Finding your purpose and knowing you are here for a bigger purpose than to please man is essential. I pray everyone in these comments hutting and looking for closure finds the peace. Go back to a time you thght u would never make it and remind yourself how u did and how you are still here, NOTHING CAN STOP YOU BUT YOU ❤🙌🏾

24 years together 22 married and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.... Even worst when kids are involved..

After 21 yrs, I find myself starting over from something I thought would be forever. One day I am great and the next day I'm crying and I have to start getting better all over again. I have accepted but I feel he ruined something beautiful and that is what I am still grieving.

It hurts me how many broken relationships, but I Am encouraged by how many strong women are here.💞 #Goddesses #LotusFlower #Survivor #SelfLove First

Thanks! I just got away from an abusive (nightmarish) “Covert Narcissist” after 32 years of being stuck in a trauma bond. She is a master manipulator in every respect. She also masterfully used gaslighting, silent treatment, triangulation, smear campaigns, flying monkeys and more on a routine basis to keep me under her control. I almost went crazy and came close to ending up in a psychiatric ward towards the end of our relationship a year and half ago. I found out later she was intentionally seeking to put me in one...who does this kind of diabolical stuff? (She told me this in a text message. She had paperwork prepared and so on. Ouuuch!!!! I’m a stable, level-headed, intelligent, caring type of man, father, husband and person...wow!!! She knew this, and yet...the madness of being in an Alice In Wonderland Nightmare for 32 years. I wonder, if I will ever recover from the experience of being with such a woman? 🥴.) When I met her 32 years ago, the above descriptors were unknowns. I’m finally free now, and on the road recovery finally. One thing...as honorable man who was loyal and dedicated to the wrong woman for 32 years....”What the heck do I know about being single and being by myself?!!!!...🥴🤪😂 I guess I’m going to find out.🤔

7 years and was engaged, its nearly been 2 and I still struggle some days but it does get better. I credit God for bringing me through the most painful thing I have endured so far in my short life. Don't be bitter...you didn't lose. God has you..just learn from what you can and move on.

I just had to leave my marriage of 10 years back in Dec. of last year, In order to gain my sanity!

Thank you for this. The right steps get blurred at times. I left a 7 yr, stale relationship and have decided to never stay in anything that doesn’t nurture me. I feel my life coming back daily and although some days are hard, I’m alive and well.

I just recovered from my 6 years on & off toxic relationship in last July. I dumped him bc I couldn't do this anymore. Tired of lies, cheating, & manipulated. Now I'm with a man who treats me better & made me feel like a real queen. I really do love him. Thank you Ms. Vazant for stressing not to find my ex on Facebook. I did block him, but when I unblocked him I was curious to see his situation. It did hurt & I was very stupid for seeing that. Thank u & I would never ever do that again. Many blessings & love for u mama!😙😙😙

OMG my sincere condolences to you Iyanla. I have been listening to inspirational and motivational speeches on KZfaq for the last week. I am 5 months out of a 8 year relationship 2 years of marriage. I was in the line at the bank waiting and decided to go on KZfaq and find something to listen to and came across this episode. I was listening when l heard you mentioned you lost your daughter, so l immediately went to google it. My heart sank and l literally felt pain. In 1999 you was on Oprah's Show and introduced your children and l was in the hospital and had just gave birth to my daughter and was watching the show. I was told by my doctor l was gonna have a boy, so when it turned out to be a girl l did not have a name for her picked out. So when you said your daughter's name l said that's a beautiful name that's what l am gonna name my daughter. I wasn't aware of how her name was spelt so l spelt her name Jahmea. It wasn't until l read one of your books l saw it was spelt Gemmia. My Jahmea was 3 yrs old when your Gem 💎 passed on. I am soooo sorry for your lost. I hope this brings some comfort and a smile to your face knowing that her name lives on in another young lady that is beautiful and sweet as your Gem 💎. When l found out how your daughter's name was spelt l was sorry l didn't find out before l left the hospital because l liked what the Gem 💎 signified. My Jahmea is now 18yrs old 6 ft tall and a freshman at UCLA. She is a water polo goalie for UCLA women's water polo team.

Your voice alone gives me calmness and peace. It must be great to have an aunt like you

He left without trying to talk about our ugly fight. He walked away. Literally packed up His things , blocked my phone number, and found a place to drink again at a hotel ( he had a 2 month clean streak) and was so sad that happened . I wish we could talk about what happened but I know it’s best that I don’t contact him anymore . Love is letting go. Iyanla, thank you for your wisdom and love.

Thank you for clarifying the difference between grief and mourning. It was eye-opening!

So encouraging. I've been in 7 years relationship but he ended it. He said he's not happy anymore. Its like im dying everyday but I have to face the reality. Thank God for giving me strength and wisdom everhday.

So timely , ending a 27 year marriage. So sad

This is great advice. Divorced after 22 years was difficult and although sad it’s the best decision I made for my health. I started exercising and have lost 90lbs and going strong. I have done all of the things Iyanla mentions in this video and more. Life goes on. We don’t die from love or divorce. We move on in grace. It’s hard work and worth it.

After 15 years and still no marriage I quit. Not building a financial nest egg I am through waiting on him. It is my time to make the move to leave the relationship hopefully on good terms. This is living today one day at a time for me. Happy New Year

For me is excercise like there is no tomorrow

7yrs.. 2 of those yrs for healing & rediscovering, it gets easier & easier.

is it my eyes decieving me or is it tru Iyanla keeps turning back the clock on age 5 more yrs back EVERYTIME i see one of her new vdos. looking younger and younger everytime lol beautiful! 😘😘😘😘 🤗

I'm leaving a relationship with someone who I was married to and dated. It lasted 16 years! They were a sociopath. I lost everything material and spiritually. The scars left damaged not only me, but my children. When I have a good day, without grievance, I have nightmares! I'm limited about what I can do to distract me. I have good moments and bad moments.

Out of a 3 Yr relationship. Getting off social media. Ty.

I stumble upon this video on my timeline,it's as if God answered my prayers. The words spoken are everything I needed to hear.I thank you so very much.

Its been 4 days since my 11yr relationship ended. Just so hurt. Know it was coming and for the best but it doesnt make it any easier. Thank you Iyanla.

Thirty five years married and 37 together. He says “I don’t want It.” Ok I saw it coming, but I was loyal to my vows. The thing about it, is, I had heard those words 21 years before and I let him come back. He was a nice guy, but not exactly the most exciting relationship. I was pretty lonely. So I can accept that he wants to go. In fact, I can help him because I am ready for something new. I am letting go, but it still isn’t easy. It’s best however, for my personal happiness now. I think it went too long! I think I can honestly say it’s ok. So here I go! What’s next?

My bf ended 6 year relationship with me after him moving back to his hometown for a new job. I was supposed to move in with him this June. I turned in resignation at work and was getting ready for move but he dumped me the day before my b-day, which is also June. No explanation, face to face talk, text nor email. 4 months after, I found the pic of him and a new girl on social media. Finding this picture is my kinda of closure because he was too coward to tell me he wanna end our relationship. What makes this break up even harder is my sister passed away recently because of cancer. I’ve been hurt and heartbroken from break up and loss of my sister but I believe I will get healed soon.

This is my heart ache, my struggle, my devastation. I can't even breathe and I spend all my time making sure i dont feel anything for fear i won't ever be ok again. Happy? The concept makes my head spin. Then I'm guilty because so many people have been through so much harder than me. It's a bad cycle. Thank you for planting the seeds that might help me change direction. As crazy as it is, i truly love you iyanla. You've gotten me through my darkest days with just a sentence or two sometimes. Thank you for all the time and effort you put into helping strangers, like me, who need your words and wisdom! I cant imagine where I'd be without you!

Mama Iyanla, this message was so very much needed today! I am one month out of a 6 year relationship that I just knew would last forever. I ended it but have had such trouble sleeping and adjusting to life without him. This morning I prayed for help, for a word from someone who could help me understand what I'm feeling and the process it takes. I guess I just felt like if I didn't think about the break up then I was no longer hurting from it. But the truth is, I just haven't talked about it because when I do, I cry. So thank you for making this video. Lord truly knows I needed it. I appreciate you. Many thanks and Hugs your way!! :*

Acceptance was the hardest part for me... with time and my wilderness I found a true meaning of life 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🎤🎤🎤🥰🌈🌈🌈❤️🎤

I been in a 6 1/2 years relationship with 2 kids involved.. I left because of he was living life like he was single ..and wanted to talk to other females especially his exes ..I was hurt I gave him 2 chances n I don't wanna go bak I cry n cry and it's been 2 months now ...and I'm still crying kuz he moved on like it was nothing made me question did he eva loved me ...Lord please give me strength I still need help till today..I'm crying out for help to move on...

After my grandmother passed in front of me...my guy of 8 years held me down...then he dropped dead the following month. It's been 6 months now and I feel like an empty shell that's just existing. But when I do have a good moment, I try to hold onto it and let it build me up for when it's bad. It's so hard.

This is perfect! My 10 year marriage ended in 2012. I decided to ended. We've been physically apart since 2016. It wasn't until then I realized I was still hurting from everything. We have children too so I have to communicate with him. Im reliving the pain from my marriage over and over. It feels like I'm being stabbed over and over. It wasn't until about 2 weeks ago that I made a conscious decision that I wanted to heal! I'm so thankful for Iyanla's advice! I'm working on forgiving my ex and myself!

That is so true! The arts have greatly contributed to my healing. I have lost weight, a new hairstyle, and have absorbed myself in the arts. Concerts, museums, and all other sorts of things. I have met new people and done a lot of things. The next step is the updating of my home. New bedding, pictures are about to be hung, and some new furniture are coming my way too! Thank you, Iyanla. I appreciate you! Be blessed, Sis! :-)

I am struggling so much...I just want to be back with this person and feel they have moved on... I can't stop crying I can't listen to music, I hate being alone cause it worse.

I really wished someone created a support group in each state for women. A group where we had monthly dates, yearly retreats, etc. Just a safe space to talk, love on, reintroduce ourselves, heal, or just be each other’s accountability partners.

Thank you. My ex walked out on me suddenly after 30 years together. In the blink of an eye he was living the 'perfect' (his words) life with somebody else. The pain has almost killed me, twice. Your words have helped so thank you. Also, loving condolences to you on the loss of your daughter. I have been through a lot but I cannot imagine your pain on such a deep and sad level. Love and best wishes to you and thank you again. XXXX

It's so hard after 16 yrs....n to find out I was jus being used

After 20 years together since I was 15yrs and him 18yrs old, he left me. Dumped me through txt msg, moved out and refused any communication. I was always loyal! I done everything for him! I don’t even know who I am! I begged him to come back, then I realised how much self respect I have lost... I needed to let him go and can’t force him to stay in my life! I’m going through the acceptance stage right now... I want to live and be independent...

just released a 16yr marriage! I did get closure and attonement as well as forgive for myself and him. I chose to leave. I loved him "us" to leave so we can make space for what we need down the road in a mate. I wanted a more spiritual connection we didn't have. I became thirsty for a deeper kind of love I couldn't find or develope in us. I was doing all the work and he was resisting. So, I let him be him and moved on! I feel so much lighter already! My spirit was so ready to move on that I was excited to get out!

Getting out of a 5 year relationship where we broke up actually, like five months ago. But we’ve still been seeing each other and talking almost every day and it’s just this wishy-washy sort of separation. I’m finding that it hurts so much more than just being completely separate because when he leaves it’s like my whole world crashes down all over again. Today I made the decision to finally MoveOn no matter how painful, no matter the guilt that I feel for trying to move on from the man I promised I loved the day I die… I haven’t felt this type of pain since my mom’s suicide

i was broken up with after a year in my first serious relationship Not going to lye its been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through .

After my 10year relationship I had to let go for better& I thank God for giving me strength and each step I take daily makes the healing process much better& Stronger.. 🙏🙏Thank you for this Video💕& Sharing your daughter story about broccoli....🙏🙏❤

Its been 18 years of on and off with long term relationship. And today I talked and it was the ending. We have a 6 year old daughter and well I'm 4 months pregnant. So you can imagine the emotional wreck that I am. However I'm very strong woman and i know that with God by my side i will heal. And thank you Iyanla. Blessed.

Thank you I needed that after a three year relationship.

There's a lot of videos that give advice on how to recover from broken relationships but you never really see any speak on those relationships that remains but not because you want it to but because it has to. For example those who have children, people mention that it's harder to break it off with the other parent but never really give advice or steps on how to move on without necessarily cutting them off because you can't really cut off an active parent for the sake of the child. Where's the advice for those who have kids?

28 yrs. Married 2 yrs divorced. Slowly recovering.

I needed this so much today. Just had a 7 year relationship end. Thank you!

Its been a few days since my break up with my ex. The pain has been the hardest. This video has put me on the path of healing. Thank you

Just got out from 8 yrs relationship and glad i found this video.Thank u, u been very helpful...

I can literally feel my heart tearing apart. So painful and overwhelming💔💔💔hope every broken heart will be healed

You really give people a better understanding of relationships thank you

*Listening to you is like listening to your favourite aunty. Thank you so much for this Iyanla.💜❤*

I needed this, I got a migraine w all this emotions.

Im about to end my 10 years relationship im 22 now Its really hard we grow up together he was my soul my best-friend my everything i went through a lot but i cant be in it anymore i dont feel being appreciated he is really okey with the break up he is not even sad living his life to the fullest better than before, im the one who is left broken

i went threw a 26 year relationship with 5 kids and i promise you this made so much sense to me.....to hear it this way. i thought it was over for me..i went from a size 16 to a 5.....i really didnt wanna be here anymore. i had to do it for me ....thank you for this ..after loosing my dad....granddaddy....i never had a chance to have my grandfather walk me down the aisle.....nor my dad...waiting for this man to feel being a family ..time played me and i played myself....he is with the same person he cheated on me with for 26 years as we speak.....its only been 3 years since i told him give me your last name or let me go.....he left..but kept coming back forcing hiself on me...until i stood up for myself...even now its really hard ..i know im not gonna fix 26 years in 3 years but im working on it.

i need to learn how to let go of a toxic relationship that am in

She looks so pretty , her whole look is spot on. I love her advice and I love her transparencies. This definitely is needed because moving on is so tough the longer you are in the relationship seemingly...don't know the actual outcome in God's hands.

Miss Iyanyla, you never cease to amaze me with your wisdom and advice. You are a blessing from God to all of us, thank you for the R spot.

You are sooo strong! You didn't shed a tear...I want to be strong like you...one day.

What if you have kids and just seeing them daily makes it hurtful and difficult to move on

I having been dating this guy for 8years now today he just told me he never loved me,it's hurt to know that he led me on for that long and really do hurt because I don't know how to move on

Iyanla, you spoke to my spirit today. My husband of 30+ years died in 2016 and I've been feeling like I just want to just drop everything and start somewhere altogether new, but then I start thinking about my age, and leaving the home we shared for over 20 years. It's just that it seems like there's always something to remind me of him here and I should take that leap of faith. Also, thank you for the "hallelujah truth"! God bless you.

Iyana, you have such a soothing voice and your words are so wise. I am 9 months out of an 18 year marriage, luckily I am almost out the other side of the bad times, this certainly helps. There are not many videos that deal with ending a long term relationship. This was so helpful.

After a 7years relationship,I have been struggling with how to handle myself. I would block and unblock him, sending him messages of how hurt I was hoping that he would see them and reply but sadly It didn't happened. Today I feel better listening to this. I hope to heal completely and be able to love again......

This video post was very helpful. I offer my sincere condolences on the loss of your daughter. I also lost my son in 2013 and ended my marriage two months later. I considered it a double death. Recovery hasn't been easy but I am in a much better place today. Thank you for this video mama Iyanla.

And they refuse to leave me out of their lives

I am learning to walking in my truth after 30 years thank you.

Thank you I need to here this because I just decided to leave my 10 year old relationship. Thank you .

I am coming out of a 17 year relashionship. Not by choice, i still love the man. But he has a drug addiction and we have kids. I HAD to leave. I guess now that i look at it. I choose to leave to give my kids a better life. It was a very dysfunctional relationship. I'd stayed longer than what I had to. I really appreciate all the in side you gave me.... I know I have to heal not only for me but for my kids.

I was in a polygamous relationship that ended horribly. I lost my friend and a man. I was devestated. Heartbreak is real.

My biggest recovery was confronting my ex (who I left) about his feelings for me after 1 year of mourning and doubting my decision and hearing that he no longer loves me like a woman but loves me like a friend/person. It set me free and confirmed that I made the right decision.

I'm watching this and crying.. Thank you for being here for us lyanla

It's almost 3 months since my break up and for some reason I'm still going strong. Maybe I'm one of those strong black women or just got tired of being treated like dirt by my husband. Thank u for more inspiration Lyanla

Love this lady she so real...

I watch videos and read comments about breakup. Turns out, this feeling and emotion that hurt me now, people feel the same thing.

This is truly the one of the best videos on KZfaq!! Thank you so much for this! God Bless.

Moving on is so hard especially when you have children together. My ex and I were together almost 10 years and suddenly he left me with three kids. Now it's almost 5 since he left but I'm still in pain. There are times I want to cut him off but I'm only hurting the kids . I hope with more time I will recover.

Dis is maked me cry,i hope god guide me through this healing process after 20 yrs and 18 yrs of marriage he just told me he don’t need me anymore im just a burden for him

Today is the second day of being alone after a 3 year relationship. What hurts me the most is that it was unexpected. We had been through it all. We were happy. The last time we saw each other before the break up it was perfect. I felt the love. I'm so confused as to why it had to end. We were such a strong couple. I just never thought I would have to go through a heartbreak again. He said I would never lose him, but I know I am.. he said we would still remain friends because that's what we were before we got together. we were always close. Since we havent seen each other in a few days we planned to see each other in a few days to sit down and talk about it. I hope it helps me let go. Since we've only talked about it through the phone I feel like its not real and its not happening. I've always preferred talking about problems in person so I really hope this helps me with letting go. I just feel so alone now ...

Looking beautiful Iyanla!!!❤️❤️❤️

Thank you thank you !!! 🙏🏼🌹 Needed to hear this to help my recovery and healing after a 5 year breakup sending you love !! ❌⭕️😘

Just ended an 11 year marriage. It was mutual because we are better off being friends as there was no romance. Still the hardest thing I am going through. It still hurts so bad even though it was mutual. I’m praying I can find healing and find myself thru this time alone.

So, I'm about to go through a divorce.. this is very helpful

Awww.. about broccoli emotional story

My wife left me but I discovered that God loves me more.

Thankyouuuuuuuuu currently pacing the floor to keep tears back. My first boyfriend broke my heart at 18 I promised myself I wouldn't let my heart get broke again @21 I met my now ex we moved out of state together and he was my first longterm relationship and my only friend 2.7 years later after verbally & physically fighting for the last time. I'm homeless and I'm heartbroken bless u . I hope I can continue to grow into a strong woman

You are a WONDERFUL person and help millions of people. THANK YOU.

I’m wondering why I’m divorced and this man is still around. I just want the pain to stop and move on! I’m ready to do the work.

Thank you!!!

Caught myself smilling with u. U are blessed.

Iyanla I am suffering and it’s only been a relationship that was 1 1/2 years. It was a really passionate for a while, then this issue of him not trusting me, imagining that I had other lovers, that I was sneaking around on the phone, couldn’t deal with me going out with friends, etc.it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. But underneath we loved each other, I can’t remember when I felt this bad.