Yep, very relatable (and congrats on the job.) Especially when one has achieved a desired objective, one immediately assesses the costs; because even if the achievement promises to change things for the better one is acutely aware that any transition takes its toll. Further, we're not wired for abstraction so the elation is like a lightning strike that immediately dissipates into the ground, we just can't sustain enthusiasm for a past action - we live firmly in the now, which demands our constant vigilance.

You did great in this video and I know exactly what you are talking about. Your experience is not unique at all for someone who is autistic. I had a very relatable experience a number of years ago, long before I knew that I was autistic myself. I had worked very hard to earn a two year degree in a line of work that I had an interest in. Finally graduation came and the anticipated graduation ceremony. I made it through it all but my joy at having succeeded was overshadowed by the fact that I was feeling very irritable and very overwhelmed by my " good " experience. I just wanted to get away from everybody and everything. I've had many similar but maybe less intense experiences over the years and I know much better now what was going on with me then. I hope that you will be able to soon get the the rest and recuperation that you need. You will be good at encouraging others who are like we are. You do have a very genuine way of presenting your message.

This makes sense. I think it primarily due to having to face change. A vacation is a good example for me. I love them but hate the disruption of travel etc. Even a birthday. If you are like me if you got any extra attention you spend days processing if you did the right thing. Almost scoring yourself on your event coping skills. And are you comfortable with accomplishment? People praising me for completing something almost makes me feel like I am a fraud. Not their fault but just bringing it to the surface I start questioning the success of my accomplishment almost cheapening its value in my own eyes. I think this may be purely my own personal trauma and not necessarily a neurodivergent inclination.

yes, we need recovery time. we are allowed to have whatever feelings come up for any situation under any circumstance. hope you can give yoursrlf the rest and resources you need.